Latest / Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe / Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 73

Transcript

Hammerin Hank Show With Henry Ochs & Ryan Hoppe: Episode 73 · Hoppe Radio (Hoppe Hour) With Ryan Hoppe

• 0:00
  What up, Ham and Hank? How the fuck are you doing,
• 0:02
  buddy? How the fuck am I doing? I'm doing pretty
• 0:05
  fucking good. I'm doing okay. Well, we'll get
• 0:09
  to that. But we got to hit the opening intro,
• 0:11
  Hanky. All right, buddy. This is episode 73.
• 0:15
  Isn't that crazy? Crazy. Let's go. Let me hit
• 0:19
  the music. How the fuck are you doing, buddy?
• 0:52
  Doing good. How are you, buddy? Despite the fact
• 0:56
  that my cheese... Except for their first loss
• 0:59
  of the year. Yay! The Chiefs did not look good
• 1:02
  last night, bud. They looked fucking terrible.
• 1:06
  What do you think went wrong with the Chiefs,
• 1:08
  dude? They fucked up. And Hank were the coach
• 1:14
  of the Chiefs. What would you say to them? I
• 1:19
  hope you do better next week. Hell yeah! You
• 1:23
  should be a coach, Hank. Coach Henry Oaks! I'm
• 1:27
  pumped up. I had my mom in town for a whole week,
• 1:30
  and it was nice, but I got the apartment to myself.
• 1:34
  How was your radio show today? I have a radio
• 1:39
  show tomorrow, 11 a .m. to 1 p .m. on KCRH 89
• 1:45
  .9 FM Hayward. Is there any chance of them bringing
• 1:49
  back the streaming? I hope so. Is there something?
• 1:54
  Okay, I wanted to ask you. I don't know if you
• 1:56
  know the answer, but. You know KLOS in Los Angeles,
• 1:59
  the radio station? Yes. Okay. They got rid of
• 2:04
  online streaming where you can't listen to them
• 2:06
  unless you're in California. And then KCRH got
• 2:10
  rid of it, and it's in California. I'm wondering
• 2:13
  if it's a California thing. Probably not. Hank,
• 2:20
  let's see what we got here on the list. What
• 2:24
  is your radio memory of the week? My radio memory
• 2:27
  of the week? The day I met Heather in Hawaii.
• 2:35
  Who's Heather? She's a girl who went on a trip
• 2:41
  to Hawaii for a rap concert, but I didn't get
• 2:44
  to go because I injured my foot. I've heard that
• 2:47
  story before. In Hawaii. That sucks. Was she
• 2:50
  hot? Extremely hot, buddy. What was the hottest
• 2:56
  part about her? Everything. Any other radio memories
• 3:03
  of the week? Yes? What's up? The dad joined the
• 3:13
  Man Cow show. He had me singing a lot of songs
• 3:15
  back in the day. What were some of the songs
• 3:17
  you sang for Man Cow Mulder on Man Cow's Morning
• 3:20
  Madhouse? The Rick James hit record, Super Freak,
• 3:24
  Super Freak. Can you sing it for me? Do you remember
• 3:27
  it? I don't pay attention to the lyrics. I'm
• 3:29
  sorry. That's okay. I think that was pretty much
• 3:31
  the lyrics to it. Was that probably one of your
• 3:34
  favorite memories of working with Man Cow? That's
• 3:37
  one of them. What are some other memories? Because
• 3:40
  we always hear about JV and Elvis. What about
• 3:43
  Mancow? The day I met Vicette Melendez. Who's
• 3:48
  that? She's a freestyle singer back in the day.
• 3:52
  Oh, that was that freestyle era. I loved meeting
• 3:59
  her. And I met George Clinton. Yeah, I think
• 4:04
  our friend DJ Love She's sent us that picture
• 4:07
  last year. Cool, buddy. Any other radio memories
• 4:12
  of the week? That just about does it. All right.
• 4:16
  I'm going to hit the music and we'll do Hank's
• 4:18
  jokes, okay? 10 -4, buddy. All right. Let me
• 4:22
  hit the music. Hey, what do you got? Why do I
• 5:18
  hate it when someone says, make yourself at home?
• 5:21
  Why? Because apparently taking my fucking pants
• 5:25
  off is frowned upon. You're the best, bud. Why
• 5:30
  do I always avoid answering unknown numbers?
• 5:33
  Why? because anyone who actually likes me already
• 5:37
  has my fucking number. And Hank, Hank, to that
• 5:40
  point, that proves that all the War of the Roses
• 5:43
  is fake because who's answering the phone at
• 5:45
  710, you know? I don't fucking know. Next. What
• 5:51
  I hated when the waiter asked, how's everything
• 5:56
  tasting? Because my fucking mouth is always full
• 6:02
  enough to require a translator. Why do I always
• 6:08
  say I'm trying to save money? Because saving,
• 6:14
  saving on fucking work makes people stop inviting
• 6:18
  me places. And why do I hate it when someone
• 6:23
  says, smile, it could be worse. Why? Because
• 6:28
  that's exactly what the guy at the gas station
• 6:31
  said before. My credit card was fucking declined.
• 6:38
  Why do I always pretend to be asleep on an airplane?
• 6:42
  What? Because I don't want to hear a stranger's
• 6:45
  internalized story at fucking 30 ,000 feet. Oh,
• 6:51
  jeez. Why do I hate it when someone asks if I'm
• 6:56
  seeing anyone? What? Because apparently my reflection
• 7:01
  doesn't fucking count. Oh, it is. Why do I always
• 7:06
  check the expiration date before after eating
• 7:10
  something? Uh -huh. Because I like finding out
• 7:14
  how much danger I was in. Got it. What I hate
• 7:21
  is when my boss says, you're like a family here.
• 7:26
  Because my actual family doesn't make me clock
• 7:31
  in. And why do I always say I'm not judging?
• 7:37
  Because I fucking already made up my mind about
• 7:42
  you. Sounds fucking rude. Got it. Why did I get
• 7:50
  into radio? I don't know. Because I wanted to
• 7:54
  be famous without getting recognized at Walmart.
• 7:57
  Oh. Why do homeless people always beg for money?
• 8:03
  Why? Because they're too fucking noisy to work.
• 8:07
  Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Why do radio DJs always
• 8:13
  sound so happy? I don't know, buddy. Because
• 8:16
  the microphone can't see their bank accounts.
• 8:20
  Why did the radio station hire a program director?
• 8:25
  I don't know. Because one talentless person wasn't
• 8:28
  enough to tell them what's going wrong. Why do
• 8:32
  radio DJs hate staff meetings? I don't know,
• 8:36
  buddy. Because it's an hour of talking about
• 8:38
  how we talk too much. Why did I become a morning
• 8:43
  radio host? I don't know, buddy. Because I wanted
• 8:46
  to be exhausted and underpaid before breakfast.
• 8:50
  Why do radio stations love giving away concert
• 8:54
  tickets? I don't know, buddy. Because paying
• 8:57
  their employees would be too expensive. I wish
• 9:01
  I could tell a pop music concert someday. Why
• 9:04
  did the radio DJ get dumped? I don't know, buddy.
• 9:08
  Because even his girlfriend got tired of hearing
• 9:10
  the same jokes. Why do radio DJs love the sound
• 9:15
  of their own voice? I don't know, buddy. Because
• 9:18
  it's the only thing the station lets them control.
• 9:22
  What does the radio... Why did the radio station
• 9:25
  tell me to... be myself. I don't know, buddy.
• 9:28
  Because apparently they meant the version of
• 9:30
  myself that doesn't offend people. And finally,
• 9:34
  are you ready for the last one? Yes, buddy. Why
• 9:37
  do radio DJs always say they're living the dream?
• 9:41
  I don't know. Because admitting they're underpaid
• 9:43
  and working three jobs would ruin the magic.
• 9:48
  And those are, as Hank would say, and those are
• 9:51
  the jokes. By the way, Hank, right here in the
• 9:55
  club. One second. What do you think? I'm trying
• 10:00
  to load up, but I cannot find for some reason.
• 10:03
  I have it right here. What do you think? Church
• 10:05
  music. Yay. What the hell's going on at church?
• 10:11
  We're still studying the book of 1 John. And
• 10:16
  stuttering. What's going on there? How's that
• 10:18
  going? Yeah, but how's it going? Yesterday we
• 10:22
  taught to love each other. Yeah. That's cute.
• 10:29
  That's adorable. How to love one another. Hell
• 10:32
  yeah. How to get to heaven. God. And how to respect
• 10:38
  people. Good. You should always respect people.
• 10:43
  What did you learn? Thank you, buddy. Give me
• 10:45
  an example of what you learned. Well, the Bible
• 10:51
  says. Yeah. Love one another and you'll go to
• 10:57
  heaven. Oh, it is. And what happened there? I
• 11:01
  forget. Ah, that doesn't make sense. Yeah. Hank,
• 11:04
  is there anything else going on in church? This
• 11:09
  coming Sunday is Comedian Sunday at the C .V.
• 11:13
  First Church in Calgary. I have it memorized.
• 11:16
  Hank, we've been recording for 11 minutes and
• 11:19
  11 seconds. Make a wish. My wish is to meet a
• 11:24
  hot fucking female artist. Oh, yeah. One to sit
• 11:29
  on your lap. I'd say I were to play the intro
• 11:37
  for trivia. Would you be ready for trivia? Yes.
• 11:41
  Let's go. Let me play the music right here. We
• 11:43
  can't just start the segment. Mm -hmm. Oh, yeah.
• 11:47
  Who had the top 10 adult contemporary hit record,
• 12:32
  Polar Tree Man, way back in 1975? Uh, Fleetwood
• 12:37
  Mac. Nope. Phoebe Snow. The only Phoebe I know
• 12:42
  is that hot piece of ass from Friends. Mm -hmm.
• 12:45
  Who had the top 10 hit record, Why Can We Be
• 12:49
  Friends? In the mid -70s. I don't know, but I
• 12:52
  love that song. I'm going to go with Steely Dan.
• 12:56
  Ice War. Okay. Who had a top ten hit record?
• 13:04
  It is. Dance With Me. Let me think. I'm sorry.
• 13:12
  I shouldn't be answering. Madonna. Nope. Orleans.
• 13:16
  Man, you're going with names I've never heard
• 13:19
  of, dude. And who had a top ten hit record? Right
• 13:27
  with me back in 2000. I got this. I got it, Hank!
• 13:32
  You ready? Yep. I don't know if you're ready.
• 13:35
  Nelly! That's correct. Yeah! And that's it for
• 13:41
  the music trivia. If I hit the music, would you
• 13:44
  be ready for Buddy of the Week? Yes. All right,
• 13:48
  let me hit it right here. Tune in to the show.
• 13:55
  It's Hammer and Autistic Genius always keeping
• 13:58
  it dank. Henry Oaks on the mic, ha! Stop riding
• 14:01
  shotgun. Roll call for the buddies. We just having
• 14:04
  some fun. Thank you. Who's your buddy of the
• 14:18
  week? Deadly Francisco Lindor, a New York Mets
• 14:23
  baseball player. Why is he your buddy of the
• 14:26
  week? Because he just won the 2026 Roberta Clemente
• 14:33
  Award. Oh, yeah. Community involvement. Good
• 14:38
  for him, Doug. Any other buddies? He does a great
• 14:43
  job for New York City youth. That's very good.
• 14:47
  Anything else? And my other buddy of the week
• 14:51
  is Pastor John. I love Pastor John. Who's teaching
• 14:56
  me how to behave myself. How to respect Christianity.
• 15:01
  And the like. Any other bunnies? And Tom Wolfman.
• 15:08
  And a lot more. I know. Listen. When I say this,
• 15:15
  you immediately let it go, but I'm going to hit
• 15:17
  the news or the music for Prick in the News.
• 15:20
  Let me hit the music first, okay? Okay. All right,
• 15:23
  because the last few times, you just immediately
• 15:24
  say, one second. Ah, it is. Ready to expose.
• 15:39
  Pigs in the pedigree with that verbal machete.
• 15:42
  Every word and weapon cameras rolling. Y 'all
• 15:44
  ain't ready. Keep behind the screen. Between
• 15:48
  the lines, you get sliced like a deli cheese.
• 15:50
  Prick in the News. He's a. What up? Lead LeBron
• 16:02
  James. He's a douchebag. He fucking disrespected
• 16:07
  the National Anthem at the period of his 76th
• 16:10
  opening game, I guess, in New York Knicks. Yeah,
• 16:13
  he pretended to go golfing like a loser. He's
• 16:18
  a fucking loser. Bitches. He shot free throws
• 16:21
  in the National Anthem. He never, ever cheats
• 16:24
  on his wife. He's so loyal. He's a fucking loser.
• 16:30
  He isn't. Alexa. How many times has LeBron James
• 16:35
  been to the finals, and what is his record? LeBron's
• 16:40
  been in the NBA finals 10 times. He's won four
• 16:43
  championships. Oh, yeah. Dude, he's gone under
• 16:46
  500 in the finals. He went four and six like
• 16:49
  a loser. There's a back sound called, I'm a loser,
• 16:53
  baby. Why don't you kill yourself? Actually,
• 16:56
  don't kill yourself. Alexa, I'm done talking
• 16:58
  to you, honey. All right. Any other pricks in
• 17:01
  the news? That's definitely it. All right, Hanky.
• 17:07
  Give me a second. You can always leave us a voicemail.
• 17:12
  856 -49 -HOPPY. H -O -P -P. That's 856 -494 -6773.
• 17:16
  How can they find you? You can hit me up on my
• 17:18
  Instagram at EJ Hammer and Hank. I need to just
• 17:22
  let you talk. Hammer and Hank. Let me hit this
• 17:24
  right here. You're not going to be able to hear
• 17:26
  it. Oh, it's the old music. One second. I'll
• 17:30
  point when it's time to talk. It's the old music
• 17:33
  from NBA. Hot tea. Hot tea. As the beat's about
• 17:39
  to drop. I'm right here. Are you ready? Woo!
• 17:43
  Right now. It goes like this. Right now. Forever
• 17:48
  and ever. The NBA is back. How are you feeling,
• 18:03
  Hank? Extremely good. Oh, yeah. It's good. Because
• 18:09
  I make money. The New York Knicks will repeat
• 18:13
  as NBA champions. Yeah! I'm hoping they do, kind
• 18:17
  of. I wouldn't mind if they won. I kind of want
• 18:20
  someone else to win. Caleb Wilson's looking like
• 18:24
  a baller for the Bulls. The Warriors ain't fucking
• 18:27
  doing shit right now. I know. That's what happens
• 18:30
  when you don't get a free agent and you sign
• 18:32
  that loser known as Pods to a lot of money. He's
• 18:37
  a pod. Anywho. He's a fucking retard. You can
• 18:42
  say that. I can't. Hammer and Hank, what are
• 18:47
  some game shows you want to have come back? Definitely
• 18:51
  the Pop and Rocker game from the 80s. My mom's
• 18:54
  only like nine years older than you. She never
• 18:57
  heard of it. Pop and Rocker game. It's a music
• 19:01
  trivia game. Their motto is a game in concert.
• 19:07
  What'd you like about it so much? I like the
• 19:12
  musical performances. And also the music trivia
• 19:18
  questions. Where's the job search going? I'm
• 19:27
  trying to get back into commercial radio in addition
• 19:29
  to doing this podcast. I don't even think commercial
• 19:32
  radio wants to be a commercial radio. So why
• 19:35
  would you want to do commercial radio? Because
• 19:37
  it's okay. It's okay in the club. It has its
• 19:44
  moments. By the way, you're black. I vectored
• 19:50
  it, which means that the certain file that I
• 19:51
  sent to our program director, Alex, on the radio,
• 19:54
  over there on High 97. Your plaque will be ready
• 19:58
  very soon because the Bay Area Radio Hall of
• 20:01
  Fame. I'll let you down. So that'll be ready
• 20:03
  soon. Bay Area Hall of Fame? They're a very good
• 20:05
  organization. They are. They should have given
• 20:08
  you a plaque. I'll be the one to say it, not
• 20:10
  you, because you're a nice guy. All right, Hank.
• 20:13
  Is there anything else on your mind? Just your
• 20:17
  comments. Oh, yeah, you didn't write that down.
• 20:20
  Let me see. Hammer and Hank, I cannot believe
• 20:26
  they did not give you a plaque for the Bay Area
• 20:29
  Radio Hall of Fame. You're definitely one of
• 20:32
  the greatest to ever find the mic. I absolutely
• 20:36
  love your podcast and your appearances on The
• 20:39
  Woody Show. Keep up the good work. Thank you,
• 20:43
  buddy. Anything else? I got to say what's up
• 20:51
  to all my buddies out there, including my favorite
• 20:54
  pop rock artist. Oh, yeah. Female pop music artist.
• 20:57
  And hope to see Wonder Concerts very soon. Yeah.
• 21:01
  Have you been hitting people at all? Nope. Oh,
• 21:06
  yeah, I do. I've been hitting that man a lot.
• 21:09
  Well, yeah. Because he's extremely busy, though.
• 21:11
  Oh, he's so busy. Hit up someone else. Hammer
• 21:16
  and Hank. Anything else? That's it. All right.
• 21:21
  Sign us off, buddy boy. First of all, sign us
• 21:24
  off. And then I got one more thing. Sign us off.
• 21:26
  I hope to see you right back here real soon.
• 21:30
  Like next week. Peace in your fucking hood. Love
• 21:33
  you, Hank. I fucking love you. I love you, Hank.
• 21:40
  I love you, too. Oh, yeah. Peace in your hood.
• 21:44
  I'll text you in five minutes, okay? All right,
• 21:47
  buddy. Bye. Tell you about the Ride the Wave
• 24:27
  Media Podcast Network. They got such great shows
• 24:30
  as Prime Magic, Those Guys, Blaine's World, and
• 24:34
  even my show, Hoppy Hour with Ryan Hoppy, which
• 24:38
  can be heard by searching Hoppy Radio. This podcast
• 24:41
  network is going to take over the world. It is
• 24:44
  everything that radio is missing. Now you're
• 24:47
  hearing my voice and you go, how can I find it?
• 24:50
  RideTheWave .media is the website name and there
• 24:54
  has all the great podcasts. And once again, this
• 24:57
  is Ryan Hoppe from the Ride the Wave Media Podcast
• 25:00
  Network. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Ryan Hoppe
• 25:04
  here. I host the award -winning and nationally
• 25:07
  syndicated Hoppe Hour Podcast. But I'm not bragging.
• 25:11
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• 25:15
  a podcast format. You never know what I might
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• 25:24
  very next second, I could be playing it. my show
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• 25:40
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• 25:43
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• 25:48
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• 25:52
  Once again, this is Ryan Hoppy of the Hoppy Hour
• 25:56
  Podcast and let's do some business.