Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the The Just -Surrendering Control: Faith as the Remedy for Worry 2.12.26

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the The Just -Surrendering Control: Faith as the Remedy for Worry 2.12.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  We're on page four, 34435 this theme, he talks about the person
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  being the Hasid, which really means that one being a very
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  dedicated person, a highly inspired person who wants to
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  serve Hashem, wants to take care of his fellow Jews, wants to
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  really get involved and it's what like we want to be, he
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  says. But there's a problem.
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  The problem is is that. I exist in today's world.
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  Oh, so here's the issue that person requires, and I told you
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  you have to be in that person requires inspiration.
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  He gives us 2 forms of inspiration.
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  One type is that when you stop and appreciate Hashem has done
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  for you and you feel your closest closest to dark, you
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  therefore want to serve him and you want you feel your closest
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  to fellow Jews. You want to take care of them.
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  It's a certain inspiration and emotional inspiration.
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  Secondly, he says even if you don't have that, you can build
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  this connection through your role models.
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  You follow the people, your parents, your grandparents, your
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  rabbis, those of you want to live like them.
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  And if you don't really have their source and inspiration,
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  you do have them as your models and you want to copy them.
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  And that also inspires you to be dedicated.
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  Many people do great things. Much of it is copycat and that
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  is that they know someone else is great.
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  They want to be like them. They don't really know where
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  that other person got their drew their inspiration from.
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  But I want to be like them and that too is an inspire.
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  And I get you going. Problem is, he says, the biggest
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  the tractor from inspiration to really become a dedicated person
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  in the area are our worries and our luxuries.
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  Luxuries we can deal with. Worries are much harder to deal
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  with. How does it work?
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  You have a worry on your mind like we all often do, he says.
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  It consumes you. We know how it works.
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  It takes over your mind and it becomes the only thing that your
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  default mind goes to. That's the way we all are.
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  Our mind, whether we living or even while we're doing other
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  things, we're always in a sense, thinking about these default
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  worries. Everything always, like the
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  water, rolls back to the lowest spot.
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  Our mind always falls back to those worries.
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  If that's the case, what does that do?
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  It's one thing to have worries. What's the outcome?
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  The outcome is that it zaps you, literally takes away from you
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  your energy in a sense here it takes away from you, your
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  inspiration because you don't know, You don't have the free
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  head to get excited by anything. You don't have the free head to
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  be focused on anything. Instead, you're literally not
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  here. You're not prison.
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  You are somewhere else because of those worries.
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  That's the structure of a person's mind.
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  Now, how do you get rid of those worries?
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  Again, you want to be inspired. You really are inspired.
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  We said, what's our main inspiration?
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  Our main source of inspiration is when we realize what Hashem
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  has done for us. We never want to serve them
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  well. We want to develop that
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  closeness, but how come we can't see that and get inspired
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  because of these worries? What do we do to get rid of
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  this? The way we get rid of this goes
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  back to the concept to be tajon. But this concept specifically in
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  this area requires a very clear focus.
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  In the following point, which is a main point to be tajon for
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  this area, is I have to work, I have to worry.
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  I have a lot of things to take care of, right?
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  But they're not done by me to really internalize the concept
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  to be the horn in this area, which is that I do not
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  facilitate my success. I do not play a role into my
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  outcome. I don't bring in my money, I
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  don't bring in my health, I don't bring any.
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  Even my development, I don't bring in anything.
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  It's all being done by God. I just play into the salute,
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  internalize that area of be the horn to its fullest extent.
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  If you do so, and you do it constantly, your worries will go
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  down and your availability to be able to be inspired and
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  connected to God will go up. Here's the most important thing
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  we think worrying you, just a state of mind.
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  Is it better to worry or not better?
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  Definitely not a good thing to worry.
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  We all know that, but we don't think of it as a as a deterrent
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  to being a good Jew. We think about worry.
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  I'm just a guy who's stressed out, stress out, stress out.
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  People have that nature, fine. It's true.
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  Truth is, not only is it just a nature you don't want to have,
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  no one wants to have that nature.
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  I'm sadly all in a sense default fall into our nation.
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  It's most more than that. If a person worries constantly
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  if they're a stressed out person, they lose out in the
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  ability to be a fully good Jew. It's taking away from you being
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  a fully observant good Jew. You see yourself.
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  It's not my fault, it's not your fault, correct?
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  Maybe it's not your fault. It's not your fault, naturally,
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  to be a warrior. But the so I this is the way I
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  look at the way I was talking to Robert about this yesterday at
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  the first thing is in in this level, right, basic level,
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  right. His worries are more limited.
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  I I, I see it and as a guy is more out there and has more does
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  more these guys worries become crazy?
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  The lunatics. I mean, I heard a cava say a
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  rabbi came to me and the guy's a multi multi familiar rabbi.
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  I don't know when I'm going to make the big money.
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  Right. I, I, I can't.
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  Everyone around me has the big money.
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  I have all the pressures and he's lifted the guy.
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  What's? What's wrong with you?
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  Absolutely keep everything that way.
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  A lot of people out there, they're well off and they think
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  to themselves. Is that Cohela?
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  What? Do you mean no?
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  The cohela is just even vital. The need for luxuries and the
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  importance is all I have. It's all I have, a lot of
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  limits, all nothing. But the mind still sees the
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  worry. Why?
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  Because we're talking about our actual, literally our living.
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  And we worry. We don't worry about the need to
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  have a vacation. We worry about real things in
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  our mind. My children, my income, my
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  homes, my health. These are real, real things.
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  And you can't help yourself to get out of this type of mindset.
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  The only way you do so is by injecting in their minds like
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  from that in the future you could.
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  So people do not only do they get sick, people get sick from
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  water and so much so sure, that's an extreme level, but
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  without that, even they simply do not enjoy the life that they
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  want to live. We all exist all the time.
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  We are the most blessed people in the world.
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  Our community, us Jewish people in general, we're beyond
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  blessed. And part of that blessing comes
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  from the fact that Hashem creates an unbelievable Hashika
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  pratit for all of us. It's a, it's a unique miracle
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  and our lives are a miracle. And yet because of these gaps
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  and because of these areas that we're missing out on, our mind
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  always falls back on those. And it's constantly, it's like
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  literally hard. It's like a broken record.
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  How does a broken record work? It gets a scratch and it's
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  hitting that scratch every second over and over and over
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  again here nowadays, modern, modern age days, you have ACD
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  with a scratch. It keeps like banging on that
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  scratch right as I'm out of anymore.
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  But this idea is that the gaps become our main focus, and it's
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  a very sad idea. It's a very disappointing idea.
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  And also it's taking me away from our ability to be full, our
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  full selves or we can be minus worries are the greatest minds
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  imaginable. We can be happy, we can be
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  content, we can be give other people rezook.
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  We can always become. We can always know the right
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  from wrong. If we had our full sense of our
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  mind, we would know much clearer right from wrong.
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  We can also serve our show much greater.
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  You could sit down if you'd have any worries, you would sit down
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  and buy episcopate and somehow by hallelukahs and you would
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  sing those songs. It would be the beauty literally
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  like that. That's what it would be, minus
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  our worries. You can pray and it won't just
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  be only focus on the couple of things that you need that buyer
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  and that issue you to fill out would be actual service of God.
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  You would learn and while you're learning, you wouldn't be
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  thinking about 1000 other things.
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  You'd actually learn that for Thomas, it's so great that we
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  have Shabbat. That's kind of what Shabbat
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  supposed to do for the person who has an MO knocker.
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  Day like when I go on vacation, I can't wait for like 3:00 on
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  Friday on vacation because I know him because every other day
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  you're putting on fires while you're right, you know they're
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  good trying to have a go on invasion or learn or do
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  anything. Right.
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  Shabbat is a time that's supposed to be the day of you
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  and Hashem to be Dave and Muna. It's basically the idea is that
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  when you break away on Friday, the noon.
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  And yeah, it was wild. So yeah, it's a possibility.
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  They're going to worry about business in these things.
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  But it's also more practical because you break away and you
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  can't get anything done and you have and because that you have
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  peace and your conversations are more enjoyable and they are
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  actually, you know, good people, great people who can have the
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  conversation and they can look at the person eye to eye.
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  Those are the bombs. They split your day into 3.
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  If it has to explain into cameras to split a day into
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  three, that's the kind of learning you should learn.
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  That's it's time for learning. That's assuming you're learning
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  all day, but or even if you're learning in the morning or
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  night, you do it in D3 pots. When it comes to a person's
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  mind, this is our issue. Our we have great strengths, we
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  have great capabilities and we need to inject a level and muna
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  and be Tajon in order to be able to be our full selves.
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  And the key to get you to do this, and it's very hard to get
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  this done, but the key thing to be on our mind is what I will
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  be, what I can be if I have a clear mind.
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  If only I had a clear mind, I would be unbelievable.
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  I know this personally, but I see and learn right?
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  Anyone of us consider the same IOB when I was gonna learn no
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  worries? 10 minutes of no worries is
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  better than honestly can be better than a week of learning
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  with worries, right? And that's not an exaggeration.
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  10 minutes without something else on your mind.
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  Your mind is focused. It's been a little week, which
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  is 10's and maybe hundreds of hours, whatever.
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  Almost a hundreds of hours of learning with worries.
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  What does that mean? That means it's worries that the
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  ability to crack into Almighty and they remove our focus and
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  they take away of our ability to be our beautiful selves and
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  minus that out, cut that out. Be yourself, be present.
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  You're unbelievable. That's the reality.
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  It's the makeup of all of us. I believe this is true with me.
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  I think it's true with you. I'm telling you, you can be a
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  highly inspired and very dedicated person and if you have
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  the capability of being focused, not only is it good for you, go
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  with Hashem, go with Hashem. It's also simply good for your
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  own productivity. If you want to be productive in
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  one meeting with one buyer, right?
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  And your mind worries. So while you're sitting and
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  talking to this buyer, your mind is going to be there and how
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  productive is your meeting going to be?
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  Take out 20% and you focus, right?
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  So OK, fine, you gave that 20% to the other issue, but are you
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  getting the other issue done? No.
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  So where's the where's the productivity?
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  There's 0 productivity in the world of worrying.
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  I'm sure there's 1000 1/2 quotes that you can find online, Dave,
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  about what worrying does for you, right?
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  OK, they're busy. There's 1000 1/2 quotes that you
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  can come up with or worrying does for you and it does nothing
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  productive. It's not good for your
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  relationship with your children. It's not helpful for
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  relationship with your wife, not helpful your relationship with
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  God. That's not helpful for
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  relationship with yourself. Worrying is simply a detractor
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  from the beauty of our lives. We are blessed with two parts.
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  We are given unbelievable gifts and we give you this little
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  antsy, beansy thing that's on our mind.
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  All you need is that and it can destroy you.
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  How do you get rid of it? To get rid of it will be tajon.
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  Be tajon means legitimate trust in Hashem.
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  But I have to work. I have to talk to the buyer.
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  I need to get involved. How am I going to have me Tajon
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  if they have so much work to just let's read his power.
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  I don't bring here. I want to bring out a major
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  point right, He says the key is like this 435.
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  Are we from the way you apply legitimate beat that corners
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  this line the holy OT your ship. Really a person needs to know I
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  could have been sitting and doing nothing.
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  I'll make the same money in law Shekhadama agnostic global
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  Adama. However, Adamale is showing
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  trigger the penalty, but instead of your brow salute.
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  That's why you need to do some work in order to make money,
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  Decree Perez. It's like you're paying a tax.
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  Sheporea Cola Mina Enoshi. I should and him?
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  I'll let them in. What?
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  It is your work Going to the office, dealing with the buyer,
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  dealing with the bills, talking to people, getting involved,
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  calling and dealing with the shows.
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  All that is a tax. What does it mean?
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  A tax? A tax means a dozen play into
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  your business. The work that we do, the phone
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  calls that we make, the meetings that we have, the travels that
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  we do do not develop our income. Now, that's a very hard thing to
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  believe. I'm dealing with the buyer, I'm
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  talking to him, I'm convincing him.
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  I'm doing the sketch and the sale and the whole deal, and
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  you're telling me it's not my gifts that I'm making my money.
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  It's hard for us to imagine because it's so much in our
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  hands. But you know what happens when
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  we don't believe this? You know what happens when we do
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  not realize that it's not us? All we're doing over there is
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  just a tax and the reality what's?
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  Preparation. Then all that is part of your
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  tax. This is something that's hard to
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  believe, but if you believe it, I'll tell you how you believe in
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  a second. But if you believe this strong
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  enough, you'll have a free mind. If you don't believe this, if
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  you instead believe that my words are the thing that
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  convinces the buyer and my argument are the things that may
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  help me make money and the way I display my items in the
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  showcase, it's all about the display, right?
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  And it's all my connections. And it's a time of day that I
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  call people and you go crazy down this road.
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  And I know the trick. If you go down that road and you
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  don't realize it's oh Hashem, and this is just a tax so
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  beautiful, it's great. It's all my hands.
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  You know what's so frustrating about all being in your hands?
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  You know what's so frustrating when everything is in your mind
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  based on your hands, It drives you completely crazy because if
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  you think you're in a control, that's the worry comes from
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  right, If I think I'm in control, I'll give you an
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  example. The wealthiest people in the
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  world today, right follow them. I like to talk about them all
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  the time no names, because the more I follow them, the more I
• 15:12
  learn more soft from them that is some of the classic names
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  today they seem a little bit crazy if you notice right, the
• 15:20
  big time is in the world 3-4 guys, the name's always in the
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  paper they've gotten crazy. Why do I think they're kind of
• 15:27
  crazy? One of the reasons is, is
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  because they they, they drink their own cool egg and they
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  think that they control the show because they made one good move
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  that God bless them with timing, right?
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  Whatever. Maybe, maybe they're geniuses.
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  Doesn't matter. A lot of geniuses are doing
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  nothing. They're worth a few $100
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  billion, OK? And they got used to the idea
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  that it was their moves or their tricks.
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  It's their gifts. You know what that does to you
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  when you enjoy the feeling of thinking that it's my hands, It
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  makes you crazy with worry because there is one area you
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  can't control. Like these people, they might
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  make a lot of money. Most of their relationships are
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  gone, are crazy What happened because they can't control their
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  relationships. There's someone on the other
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  side that's not dependent on you, right?
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  And once another person got enough money out of you, they
• 16:18
  don't need you anymore. And for example, once one of
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  these people I'm talking about, you know, help the president get
• 16:24
  elected, the president doesn't need them anymore and goodbye,
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  good luck. All right, if there's one
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  example, let's say it works, be honest with you.
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  That is simply the way it works. So when you are based on your
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  control, it's an awesome feeling.
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  Power is an awesome feeling, but it's also a super frustrating
• 16:41
  feeling because at least unbelievable worry.
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  Instead, this mindset which seems impractical, this mindset
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  which tells you you are not in control.
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  It is not the move you made, the conversations you had, the
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  display they can Vince the argument, none of that.
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  That mindset. On the one hand, it's humbling.
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  On the other hand, it's a very enjoyable, sweet, beautiful
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  mindset. Because I don't need to worry
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  about anything. If I'm not in control, why
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  should I go crazy? Do I have to do it in front of
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  me? Yes.
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  But do I need to spend the whole year thinking about several
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  things? I'll give you an example.
• 17:18
  Right after the summer ends, I have to get a new house and deal
• 17:20
  for the next summer. If I don't control myself, I can
• 17:25
  worry from October 1st. Maybe I'll give September away
• 17:28
  from October 1st. It could be on my mind, right?
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  People do. It people do it, but you're a
• 17:32
  Haybird. For a minute there for one last
• 17:34
  minute. So I'm good, Zach, and there's
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  so many examples. I'm sure you have it with the
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  seasons. Once you've done that season or
• 17:41
  maybe in business, get on to the spring while it's still way
• 17:45
  before because in your mind you're playing out.
• 17:47
  What could it be? I discussed do the holidays
• 17:49
  right the next year. I've told you from the beginning
• 17:50
  of the year, from this past year's holidays with production
• 17:53
  for many shoes this past year, holidays were great, right?
• 17:57
  And it saves the show for the whole year.
• 17:59
  Good holidays. And then I thought to myself,
• 18:01
  I'll look at the calendar next year as.
• 18:03
  Well, Billy Bryce, so that that item is bothering me.
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  I I was at 2 shul meetings yeah Brian the last month and
• 18:09
  everyone's talking about how much we're going to be down
• 18:12
  well. Guys had a few $100,000.
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  Brian, guys are talking like numbers as if it happens and I
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  say it doesn't have to. Happen.
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  You're right. You're absolutely.
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  Right. I, I, I don't, I don't, I, I
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  don't subscribe to the that mindset because they thought
• 18:26
  lastly, you were going to be down economy.
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  Right. They were wrong.
• 18:29
  They were up. Trust me, every sees every year
• 18:33
  I start fundraising like later on in the year right and I
• 18:35
  always for me, it's hard to get on that phone call because I'm
• 18:39
  embarrassed shyer and always find the beginning or reason why
• 18:42
  not tariffs the other year was the docks right?
• 18:48
  Yeah, no shipping, COVID, whatever it may be, whatever the
• 18:51
  situation was, COVID 2 point O whatever it may be, something
• 18:54
  that gets in my mind, I'll always be back.
• 18:57
  And that's because you think you're going to worry and be in
• 18:59
  control. It's not you, it's not them,
• 19:03
  it's what a shimp and this show about a change overnight.
• 19:06
  Would you? Everything changed all night.
• 19:09
  They could say. Hey, that's it's on this be
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  even. If the guy says no, I was saying
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  this so that it's not his hoot. Right.
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  Yeah. And you can't look at it as a
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  failure or a bad phone call. Yeah, yeah.
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  And then Hashem opens up a different door.
• 19:23
  You're waiting at a tropical hide seek.
• 19:24
  I like, you know, like all these.
• 19:26
  Stories Beyond, Beyond beyond. My father's favorite story was
• 19:30
  he wants an event for the Savadi Press and it was a rainy day in
• 19:34
  Deal. I know these expensive Deal
• 19:36
  events and it was a complete failure.
• 19:38
  Savadi Press lost a lot of money on the event and he said the
• 19:42
  next day someone approached him, ran the person that's not really
• 19:45
  well off, like never knew the person well off.
• 19:47
  I came over to him and gave to the rabbi.
• 19:51
  I just made some money. I have my stare.
• 19:53
  I want to give it to you $10,000.
• 19:56
  So I thought. So that was like for him, the
• 19:58
  most comforting feeling. And Dave Pryor did the event and
• 20:01
  then the next day, the guy from Adam, the guy is not well off.
• 20:05
  It was a surprising move, The big number. 10,000.
• 20:10
  I accept this. Yeah, you always do it that way.
• 20:12
  You never worry. What I'm telling you, I, I, I,
• 20:15
  I, I've seen it and I've tested this.
• 20:18
  I, you okay with the will of Hashem on whatever the final
• 20:23
  decision is, and then he gives it?
• 20:25
  Yeah, 100% triangle wiggle, that it's your muscle and your sketch
• 20:29
  and your fork and your hand and whatever it is that yes.
• 20:33
  Drives you crazy. Yeah.
• 20:34
  Not in the the not God bless you.
• 20:35
  Yeah, but the words in your mouth.
• 20:37
  Are safe, but why is that the first blessing Nami that that
• 20:39
  which is our that the Honena done that before anything so.
• 20:42
  It's very interesting. Even though we're saying it's
• 20:45
  all in the hands of Hashem, it's a very complicated and delicate
• 20:50
  combination between Hashem gives you gifts that are through your
• 20:54
  hands. And the challenge is that a
• 20:56
  humble person realizes, keeps, keeps in mind it's still a God.
• 21:00
  But an arrogant person misconstrued what's happening
• 21:04
  and starts to believe it's him. Aristotle was a genius, but I'm
• 21:08
  bomb I believe said he was born on almost Navi level genius, but
• 21:12
  he was the most arrogant man in the world.
• 21:14
  Why? Because his genius was a gift of
• 21:17
  God. It wasn't a gift of him.
• 21:19
  The problem was he made that that switch.
• 21:23
  He took his gifts and thought it was him, Monsieur, that was also
• 21:26
  a genius eventually because of the new world that he had, but
• 21:29
  he never got confused. He remained this humble person.
• 21:32
  So I thought, honey, La Danda means God give me gifts, give me
• 21:37
  gifts, but they'll remain your gifts.
• 21:39
  Every time we sit and learn, we said this Saturday night, every
• 21:41
  time we sit and learn and something comes to your mind,
• 21:43
  it's like an e-mail. It's coming from my Shim.
• 21:46
  It wasn't your idea. It wasn't my idea.
• 21:47
  It came from left field. Where'd it come from?
• 21:49
  Hashem. And the same is true with the
• 21:51
  ideas that are happening in your meeting.
• 21:54
  You do feel good after you had a good idea.
• 21:57
  You do feel good after you had a good plan.
• 21:59
  But the truth, the truth is, it's all Hashem controls your
• 22:03
  whole life, right? Then you do.
• 22:04
  And the more you absorb this, it's humbling.
• 22:08
  And it's also very helpful to have a free beautiful mind.
• 22:12
  We have an unbelievable mind and life.
• 22:15
  We also have a very een up mind and life consumed by the
• 22:20
  outside. See how over here a concept that
• 22:23
  multiple Twitter concepts and filtering to each other.
• 22:28
  If you're humble, you could see the gifts of God.
• 22:31
  If you see the gifts of God in your life, you can see it's not
• 22:34
  you. If you see it's not you, you can
• 22:37
  have a clear mind. If you have a clear mind, you
• 22:41
  can serve Hashem. The way it works, by the way, is
• 22:44
  all Torah concepts feed into the same stream of goodness.
• 22:48
  And this is a stream. We just told you again, if
• 22:50
  you're humble, you see the kids of Hashem, You see the kids of
• 22:53
  Hashem, you have probably Dahun. You have that.
• 22:57
  You're not going to worry. If you don't worry, you can be a
• 23:00
  better father, better husband, better rabbi, better kindgent,
• 23:05
  better friend, better worker. It could be a better emboss, a
• 23:09
  better emloyee, a better everything.
• 23:12
  If you have the presence of mind because you're all here and
• 23:16
  you're not worried, That's the idea.
• 23:17
  Let's start with this.