Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- The Balanced Path: Simplicity and Sacred Indulgence 7.21.25

Transcript

Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- The Balanced Path: Simplicity and Sacred Indulgence 7.21.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:00
  You close up the the depth of introduction to be shoot one
• 0:07
  page 288 now reads it. Yeah, that would be 9/2/88 and
• 0:15
  then we'll go to open up the next .290 a little bit.
• 0:23
  The general any item that's not that's anything that's not
• 0:27
  necessary. Source mail exactly.
• 0:29
  I was your first man. It's worth it is operate from
• 0:34
  the call marsh and Mukrak home at the time She yeah, anything
• 0:38
  that is necessary. Cabecher Mukhanka if it's
• 0:40
  necessary, food, drink, sleep, work, some level of vacation,
• 0:47
  all the regular typical natural enjoyments in life.
• 0:49
  If they're necessary in operation, you know there's a
• 0:51
  hotel. If you avoid those enjoyments,
• 0:55
  that's sinful. It is a clown named mountain
• 0:57
  alchemist Pata Pratin. However, there are home.
• 0:59
  Roads some Allah. First it.
• 1:02
  Puts by. Himself unnecessary home roads
• 1:07
  and he said, we said yesterday it was a important concept.
• 1:10
  It's not only not proper, it's considered wrong.
• 1:14
  It's not just not a good thing, it's really a bad thing because
• 1:20
  you really need to have he's got to have a balance.
• 1:23
  This is one of them biggest areas.
• 1:25
  How did? This fit into Abraham, Ben and
• 1:26
  Amban, who says that you should be, you should have been in this
• 1:29
  world and you should be, you know, living in a different
• 1:31
  life. I don't know 'cause I know that
• 1:34
  I'd say today you could even ask someone about him today who do
• 1:37
  things to an to an extreme. They agree that they're not
• 1:41
  doing the norm and they're trying to do something for the
• 1:44
  masses. I don't know how if it's the
• 1:47
  idea of being an extreme pollution.
• 1:49
  The truth of the matter is even their at least today's version
• 1:53
  Padosh, they still wouldn't do things that go against the
• 1:57
  earlier page. They still wouldn't starve
• 1:59
  themselves. They still wouldn't paint
• 2:00
  themselves and something like that.
• 2:02
  But if you and fall between and do things to an extreme and are
• 2:05
  observant and really know what they're talking about, I don't
• 2:08
  know how to explain. I'm not sure you know the Yaga's
• 2:12
  examples of certain rabbis that are fastest for long times
• 2:15
  because of Hobart met the Midas. How does that fit?
• 2:18
  I'm not sure and the hands are saying huh, because they enjoy
• 2:22
  it and they felt I mean, emotionally, they felt connected
• 2:26
  to fasting as a as a connection to the for that feeling all
• 2:32
  right. If for them and their mindset.
• 2:35
  I it's still pain. Kiev Charlotte Cabetz called a
• 2:39
  protein Kiladima. It's impossible to put in a
• 2:42
  paper here. One of the hardest things to
• 2:44
  train someone is balance balance.
• 2:46
  You can't train people in balance.
• 2:48
  You look at people that seem to be doing something off and you
• 2:50
  wish you could tell them just get it right.
• 2:52
  Just figure it out. You want to tell them to become
• 2:54
  more observant. OK, They they get them that way,
• 2:56
  then they go to extreme want to tell them not to chill out and
• 3:00
  they go to extreme. Just figure it out.
• 3:02
  And then I just saw a person in the day whom I remember when
• 3:06
  they got extra religious and they went too far.
• 3:09
  Now I saw them Haram. They went the other way.
• 3:13
  Yeah, I'm how can they couldn't find the middle of the road?
• 3:17
  The answer is the balance. And it's something vamps on
• 3:20
  something that cannot be trained.
• 3:21
  I'm sorry. It could be trained.
• 3:23
  You can't just be told. It's something you have to
• 3:25
  learn, live, absorb. As he's telling you, Kita be
• 3:29
  ma'am. You can't tell a person every
• 3:31
  detail of balance. There's too many.
• 3:38
  You have to learn them step by step through life in a timely
• 3:42
  manner, in the right way with good parents and good
• 3:45
  grandparents and the right approach.
• 3:48
  Then you develop the right balance.
• 3:50
  Now let's get some details on 290 healthcare pretty shoot
• 3:59
  Rashim Shilosha. The three main areas of pretty
• 4:04
  shoot 2 main categories where a person can display his control
• 4:09
  R3K and F huge pretty shoot by now it one area of control and
• 4:15
  being Porsche and then it comes to physical pleasures like
• 4:20
  eating, drinking, etcetera. Pretty short beginning.
• 4:24
  A person can have extra control and come to halacha.
• 4:28
  See exactly what that means. I'm pretty sure when I came and
• 4:32
  you can have pretty sure when it comes to how he acts and stuff
• 4:35
  like that. Let's get to Hana one for today.
• 4:38
  How pretty shoot Banahu being Portish, displaying control when
• 4:44
  it comes to pleasure. This is the example that we used
• 4:49
  earlier when it came to being very involved in eating and
• 4:52
  drinking and vacations. To only take from this world was
• 5:02
  necessary. He gave the example of of a bead
• 5:05
  and I see who said although he was the wealthiest man of his
• 5:08
  time, he raised up his five fingers and said I didn't enjoy
• 5:11
  my these fingers and I enjoyed from this world, not even using
• 5:15
  the pinky nothing. The idea is physical pleasure to
• 5:19
  to avoid now Medavarza Yaquif this includes I'll call Mashu
• 5:27
  Tanu VE Chadman Akashim anything that's considered enjoyable when
• 5:33
  it comes to any of the senses. I know Mahalot eating Bibi Lutz
• 5:40
  time with his wife Bimal Boushim when it comes to what he dresses
• 5:45
  with Batilim vacations Bishamot Shamot is related to
• 5:54
  conversations, hanging out, the whole chaos opposite.
• 5:59
  These are the physical pleasures we need to refer to.
• 6:01
  These are the things you need to display control.
• 6:03
  When it comes to We eat time with the wife, Boshim, clothing,
• 6:06
  Tilim and Schmorth limit all them need to have limit Rock
• 6:12
  Bayamim Shaon egg Behem mitzvah. Aside from the times that these
• 6:18
  enjoyments are mitzvah, these activities are considered a
• 6:21
  mitzvah. Those there's no need to display
• 6:24
  level of control. When it comes to other times,
• 6:27
  unnecessary times, extras, extra.
• 6:29
  You have to have limits, you have to have control.
• 6:32
  These last five words are very, very important.
• 6:35
  Rock Bayamim Shaon egg Behem mitzvah.
• 6:37
  You change your tune, you change your approach.
• 6:40
  When it comes to a mitzvah, nobody says keep away from the
• 6:44
  wife. When it comes to his mom
• 6:45
  mitzvah, Definitely not. That's actually not proper at
• 6:48
  all. Nobody says don't eat on
• 6:50
  Shabbat, don't enjoy Shabbat. No one says don't enjoy the
• 6:56
  right clothing when it comes to the Des Shabbat.
• 6:58
  All these things and all these rules change when it comes to a
• 7:02
  mitzvah scenario. And here's a very important
• 7:05
  point. He's supposed to display
• 7:07
  control. He's supposed to be limited.
• 7:10
  He's supposed to have a cap. All this is he correct?
• 7:14
  But you're also supposed to show a contrast when it comes to a
• 7:18
  development site as well, because you're going to be doing
• 7:21
  the right thing or it's during the right time or it's in the
• 7:25
  right scenario. In Yatin Mitzvah requires my
• 7:31
  feeling of enjoyment during those times, an appreciation
• 7:34
  during those times. I'm having a good time during
• 7:36
  those times. You know, the best people that
• 7:38
  with the best approach is that, you know, all week long.
• 7:41
  I don't care what I eat. My Shabbat meal should be
• 7:45
  beautiful. It should be, you know, flowing,
• 7:50
  it should be nice, it should be enjoyable.
• 7:51
  I should have good dessert. All these things are necessary.
• 7:54
  Why? Because yes, I should have
• 7:56
  control. But if I change it when it comes
• 7:58
  to a Matata as the full approach, same is true when it
• 8:01
  comes in your name itzah. When it comes to our family, our
• 8:04
  home, same is true when it comes in your name itzah with our
• 8:06
  clothing. Yes, you shouldn't be so busy
• 8:10
  with designer clothing. But when you're having a father,
• 8:13
  when you're having a Shabbat meal or Shabbat Shabbat, on
• 8:18
  Shabbat, you should wear nice clothing that's in young cater,
• 8:22
  all the good extras tower mitzahs. 2 things happen with
• 8:26
  this. One is you're a man of control,
• 8:30
  good. Secondly, you make Shabbat that
• 8:35
  much more special when you do it this way.
• 8:38
  You make caring about Shabbat that much more special when it
• 8:42
  comes to the home as well. You make your Shalom by the
• 8:45
  right way that much more special when you do it from your name,
• 8:48
  mitzvah. When you do it during times and
• 8:51
  mitzvah times, you make them much more holy, much more
• 8:54
  special, because the concept is very important.
• 8:57
  Not only are you displaying control, you're also displaying
• 9:01
  a beauty in the right times. When you do it this way, you
• 9:05
  have to be limited and then unlimited.
• 9:07
  Exactly you. Exactly.
• 9:11
  You build up, you give more importance to the significant
• 9:16
  times when you limit yourself to an insignificant time.
• 9:19
  David, this is the concept here. There's a concept and it's very
• 9:23
  important and it shapes 2 things at the same time.
• 9:27
  It shapes an approach which is simple, an approach which is not
• 9:31
  overindulging, an approach. It says I'm not going to overdo
• 9:35
  it, but at the same time it shaves an approach it says comes
• 9:39
  to a mitzvah. Mitzvah.
• 9:40
  I like it, I'm involved, I'm into it.
• 9:43
  I'll give you an example. Israel.
• 9:46
  What about about mitzvah trip in Israel?
• 9:49
  Were you about mitzvah trip in Israel?
• 9:51
  You owned by mitzvah in Israel? Yeah.
• 9:53
  Good. What's your say about by
• 9:56
  mitzvah? I saw bar mitzvah, now there are
• 10:05
  there. It's very.
• 10:06
  Very expensive. Very expensive can.
• 10:08
  Make a chip can make you can make friends if there's the the
• 10:10
  depends. So right now.
• 10:12
  None of your friends are there as a kid, I'm sure as a.
• 10:15
  Kid, on your friends, did you do it?
• 10:16
  You did. Right.
• 10:16
  Yeah, I did. But no one I knew it was at the
• 10:18
  party, OK. Logically right, Logically
• 10:25
  right. I can hear you saying why, why
• 10:29
  do it? It's about it's far do a regular
• 10:32
  party. Why do the balance in Israel?
• 10:35
  First of all, by the way, it's high point.
• 10:37
  Maybe we do it. They make it like like trip also
• 10:39
  they they enjoy from up there to go around and.
• 10:44
  It's. Very expensive.
• 10:48
  True A. Lot of money, a lot of money for
• 10:50
  sure. Something crazy.
• 10:52
  I don't know if it's necessary, yeah, financially, I don't know.
• 10:56
  My son is already approached when he's 11.
• 10:58
  He's approached me and saying he wants to bike and he wants to
• 11:01
  his real bar mitzvah. So I told him, you know, in
• 11:04
  Charlotte we can do it. Charlotte.
• 11:05
  Is that a shame? But I said if I do it, I would
• 11:08
  do it just as a very simple, small family trip.
• 11:10
  And that's it. Yeah.
• 11:11
  Yeah, just the family and then the Innlaws.
• 11:14
  Whatever, That's it. There's no give me any on any of
• 11:16
  this. You know what?
• 11:17
  Take the simple tour out from the hotel over there and read
• 11:21
  the hotels. Beautiful.
• 11:22
  But it's time. You have 17 million, Even this
• 11:25
  care house, you can't even dare each other.
• 11:29
  But the reason that they. Enjoy George from like.
• 11:31
  You know, I like the reason I think it's special is because
• 11:35
  what you're doing is the other choice is to have a broken
• 11:38
  moment. The other choice that are broken
• 11:40
  moments. What you're having, the theme
• 11:42
  is, I don't know, Nike fine, or the theme is nothing wrong with
• 11:47
  that, or the theme is Hawaii, whatever.
• 11:52
  The theme is good, great, but it doesn't have the same spiritual
• 11:56
  feel as Israel does. And so the mindset is it is a
• 12:01
  person who's at least putting all his effort and all his
• 12:06
  spending towards something that's highlighting A mitzvah.
• 12:10
  That's the point. If you do it the right way, I
• 12:12
  don't think about Tel Aviv days and all the other guys I'm
• 12:14
  talking about flat out, you do it the right way.
• 12:18
  If you put more emphasis in a mitzvah, the kid will remember,
• 12:23
  the mindset will be we relate kedusha to a mitzvah, relate
• 12:29
  beauty to a mitzvah. That's an example.
• 12:32
  It has some sort of, you know, branches of it.
• 12:34
  They're not so good. Or some branches, they can be
• 12:36
  different. Oh, that's true.
• 12:38
  But the theme is correct. And there's the same thing with
• 12:40
  the Shabbat table. The same thing is true with the
• 12:42
  Shabbat clothing. I debase myself.
• 12:46
  Rabbi wears a suit all week. So does rabbi, have I mentioned
• 12:50
  today, Does the rabbi have a Shabbat suit?
• 12:52
  He should. Shabbat shoes he should.
• 12:55
  Why? Because you highlight the
• 12:57
  mitzvah. You highlight, even though you
• 12:58
  were doing this all the time. Everything should be
• 13:02
  highlighted. What ends up happening is, is it
• 13:04
  the same person who could have a simple life and actually can
• 13:10
  retain and keep a simple life in every area?
• 13:12
  When he indulges in these areas to a degree, it doesn't take
• 13:16
  away, it doesn't even reflect the fact he's not a simple
• 13:19
  person. He still remains a simple
• 13:21
  person, but he's just any more to Shabbat.
• 13:24
  He's any more to mitzvot. He's any more to bring Mila more
• 13:27
  to Obama mitzvah. All these things become more.
• 13:30
  That has to be the theme now. Do you say now?
• 13:32
  So a few $100,000 wedding is a proper.
• 13:35
  The problem is we're all related wedding to O mitzvah.
• 13:38
  If we didn't make that connection, it would have been
• 13:40
  more proper. It would have been made.
• 13:42
  It would have made more sense to be a simple person who yet
• 13:44
  spends a lot on a wedding. But we don't relate a wedding to
• 13:47
  a mitzvah if we did, if that was the direct connotation that I
• 13:50
  could see more bring me a lot. We do pejor in our band, we do
• 13:55
  bar mitzvah, we do wedding went out there with that point and
• 13:59
  therefore it's a little bit different Shabbat.
• 14:01
  We do all these in yanim. The more a person highlights the
• 14:05
  mitzvah, people just don't think of it that way.
• 14:08
  I think. Am I right or wrong?
• 14:10
  I mean, Kopal is definitely my devour mitzvah.
• 14:13
  Absolutely. I think people think of spending
• 14:15
  on a wedding. I just spending on a wedding.
• 14:17
  They don't think it was spending on mitzvah.
• 14:19
  And I think if you make Obama mitzvah in America and you make
• 14:22
  a whole theme party, you don't relate to the mitzvah either.
• 14:25
  But if you make, like I said, a holiness, OK, these real aspect
• 14:29
  to Obama mitzvah, they relate. Oh, you're highlighting the
• 14:32
  mitzvah and it gives them more emphasis and therefore more
• 14:34
  beauty. I could be wrong about that
• 14:36
  point, but that's the theme. The more a person double S down
• 14:41
  on your name, Itzah, the more he does these two things at the
• 14:44
  same time. He can live a simple life and he
• 14:47
  can highlight and sort at the same time.
• 14:49
  And that is really what we want to do, right?
• 14:51
  That's the mindset is a theme and it is something we can all
• 14:53
  try to do in our lives and it can be done in our home.
• 14:57
  Shabbat meal, most beautiful meals a week by far.
• 15:00
  Shabbat clothing, the finest clothing, the theme, even when
• 15:04
  you're spending time with your family, you do it around the
• 15:06
  Shabbat table. It is more to Shabbat, and it
• 15:09
  highlights this concept even more.
• 15:11
  And every level of enjoyment and indulgence, if they're related
• 15:14
  to a mitzvah, you're doing two things at once.
• 15:16
  It's simplifying the rest, and you're highlighting the beauty.
• 15:20
  And you can keep actually an unspoiled life even while kind
• 15:24
  of spoiling in these areas because all the spoiling is to
• 15:27
  mitzvah. That's the answer.
• 15:28
  B Yeah. What's top of this?