Latest / Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast / We Get Real About Our Mental Health!

Transcript

We Get Real About Our Mental Health! · Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This Gentleman Being podcast brought to you by Hello Fresh,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: the Experts and Tastes that Kiwis Love.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hello, Welcome to this very special podcast. This is Johnny,
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Ben and Meghan here. We are talking mental health Mental
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Health Awareness week let.
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  Speaker 1: Speak weekend in New Zealand. We've covered it a little
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  Speaker 1: bit on the radio this week, which you know, it's
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  Speaker 1: been great talking to people like Die Henwood Jas Thornton
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  Speaker 1: as well about their mental health journey and some tips
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  Speaker 1: as well. But we just thought, well, hey, should we
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  Speaker 1: jump on. There's no real agenda for this podcast. I
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  Speaker 1: guess the agenda I didn't get that either, but it
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  Speaker 1: was probably just to had chance to have a chat.
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  Speaker 1: And if you're hearing it now, it means we thought
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  Speaker 1: it was good enough to put out as a podcast
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  Speaker 1: and if not, it doesn't it might not be a podcast. No,
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  Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you. I'm fifty fifty on this
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  Speaker 1: and it was my idea to do it.
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  Speaker 3: Fifty.
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  Speaker 1: It's fine, we need to talk about it more, but
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  Speaker 1: it's not something we generally do as as a show
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  Speaker 1: and maybe we should do it more.
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  Speaker 3: You know, it doesn't come naturally to us because we're
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  Speaker 3: so like, yeah, let's have a lot.
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  Speaker 1: And that's not to say mental health it's hugely important,
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  Speaker 1: we should talk about it more. But I know it's
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  Speaker 1: very hard when you're doing a show every morning, and
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  Speaker 1: you're doing a show that's meant to entertain an upbeat.
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  Speaker 1: It's a real gear change to have these conversations. And
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  Speaker 1: that's why we're doing it in a podcast form.
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  Speaker 2: And sometimes it can come across token. You know, there
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  Speaker 2: are some wonderful shows out there that do do fantastic
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  Speaker 2: things for mental health. Absolutely Morning Rumble one of them,
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  Speaker 2: and many years great work with means mental health. And
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  Speaker 2: so you don't want to be.
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  Speaker 1: Like, oh, we're just just to jump on this, yeah yeah,
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  Speaker 1: because yeah, but it does affect everyone and various forms everyone,
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  Speaker 1: whether personally or people they know, often both as well.
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  Speaker 1: So it's it's great to have weeks like Mental Health
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  Speaker 1: Week where people can talk about this.
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  Speaker 3: It's hard for us too, because generally on the radio
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  Speaker 3: we are restricted to like a four, four or five
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  Speaker 3: minutes at a push, you know, so we might get
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  Speaker 3: into a topic and then we're like right, no, coming out.
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  Speaker 2: The ouse, you know.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, and also the way you are feeling, I find it,
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  Speaker 1: you know, necessarily like you can have a bad day.
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  Speaker 1: You have days with personally mental health is not great.
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  Speaker 1: But you don't want to be that person on the
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  Speaker 1: radio where you know you can have those rareal chats
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  Speaker 1: from time to time, but you can't have three hours
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  Speaker 1: every morning of that. So you put on this mask
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  Speaker 1: or you put on this performance. Ba.
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  Speaker 2: Well, it's not the most it's not the most enjoyable radio.
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  Speaker 2: For we come on with all our problems. She's bloody
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  Speaker 2: Betlan today. So all you have to do is pretend
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  Speaker 2: to be happy for three minutes at a time. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: because everyone has stuff going on in their lives.
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  Speaker 1: And everyone will know about pretending to be happy at
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  Speaker 1: times and not say you shouldn't be your real self,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: but everyone will know. I've got to go on to
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  Speaker 1: this pick the kittens up, or do this thing, you know,
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  Speaker 1: and you have to go, okay, I already feel like
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  Speaker 1: doing this now. But I will contend and I will smile,
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  Speaker 1: And that's kind of what the radio is sometimes sometimes
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  Speaker 1: not all the time, with a lot more fake laugh
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  Speaker 1: at that. Yeah, that's true.
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  Speaker 3: Sometimes I've had those days where you just you're like,
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  Speaker 3: I don't feel like laughing and joking ground with everyone today.
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  Speaker 3: But then you come in and that can be the
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  Speaker 3: best medicine, you know, like having your mates around and
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  Speaker 3: having a laughs. At the end of it, you feel
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  Speaker 3: a lot better than when you went into it.
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  Speaker 2: For me, in life, you have to put on a mask,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: don't you when you think about it. Yeah, everyone and
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  Speaker 2: no one has probably genuinely one hundred percent themselves, even
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  Speaker 2: with your partner at times, are you Yeah, I guess,
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  Speaker 2: but you know you don't want to be a dearb downer,
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  Speaker 2: do you, Yeah, and bring down the vibes of the
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  Speaker 2: room if you're feeling in a bad way, so you
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  Speaker 2: just put on a mask, and that's probably a large
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  Speaker 2: part of the problem.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
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  Speaker 3: But it's weird because hearing you say that, I'm like, well,
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  Speaker 3: I would want you to tell me, But then if
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  Speaker 3: I was feeling like that, I'd be like, well, I
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  Speaker 3: don't want to burden John it. Yeah, maybe don't practice
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  Speaker 3: what we preach at all. I'm like, well, I would
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  Speaker 3: definitely want you to be like, dude, I'm having a
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  Speaker 3: shit day, and I'd be like, you know, I'd want
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  Speaker 3: to make feel better, But then I would never be like,
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  Speaker 3: oh god, I'm saying you know, yeah, you want to.
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  Speaker 1: Put that on someone else. Yeah, And sometimes people will
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  Speaker 1: ask you how you are and you'll say I'm okay
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  Speaker 1: or you know this, things are, but it's real hard
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  Speaker 1: to go, well, when do you have that conversation? Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: you know, if you are having some things, So when
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  Speaker 1: does that?
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  Speaker 3: You know?
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  Speaker 1: Because you know this is not gonna be a quick conversation.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is not gonna and you are wary of
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  Speaker 2: other people's time. You know, they've probably got a meeting
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  Speaker 2: in five minutes or something. When it's the right time
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: to bring it up. I always find it interesting too,
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  Speaker 2: because you have everyone gone through it themselves or have
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  Speaker 2: friends in their group who have gone through mental health issues.
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  Speaker 2: And sometimes you can they can come across being rude
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  Speaker 2: or angry, can't They people going through their own struggles,
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  Speaker 2: And that's because they're dealing with their own stuff, and
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  Speaker 2: probably there's probably a level of frustration there. I know
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  Speaker 2: that I've had a couple of friends where you're like, well,
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  Speaker 2: I haven't said anything and I've just let them go
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  Speaker 2: completely in a downward spiral, and you've gone, oh, they've
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  Speaker 2: just been in a really shitty mood and I answering
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  Speaker 2: my calls, they're not texting back, they've shut off. And
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  Speaker 2: there's times where I've definitely had a friend pass away,
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  Speaker 2: took his own life and I should have stepped in
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: multiple times.
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  Speaker 3: So the morning, you felt like the warning signs were
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  Speaker 3: there for.
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  Speaker 2: You years, right, for years, and it was more cheese.
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  Speaker 2: It was years ago now, and it was a lot
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  Speaker 2: younger too, and you didn't feel like you had It
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  Speaker 2: was awkward. It was awkward to bring up and it
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  Speaker 2: shouldn't be. Yeah, but there's only speaking truthfully about preaches.
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  Speaker 2: And then even after that fact, you're like, we're going
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  Speaker 2: to be more over all, I was saying, they've been
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  Speaker 2: more open to have more conversations and to be honest, haven't.
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  Speaker 1: You know it's hard Yeah, oh yeah. I mean I
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  Speaker 1: struggle a lot with my mental health and I don't
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  Speaker 1: talk to people about it, you know, and I don't
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  Speaker 1: have those people that I kind of do, and you know,
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  Speaker 1: and it is a hard thing to bring up, you know,
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  Speaker 1: And you do feel for other people that are going
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  Speaker 1: through that because I think the thing about mental health
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  Speaker 1: is and I've kind of not learned. I'm not an expert,
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  Speaker 1: but it doesn't it doesn't matter if you're successful not
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  Speaker 1: successful we've got, you know, you have celebrities, they've got
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  Speaker 1: millions of dollars like yourself of mental health. It doesn't
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  Speaker 1: mean their mental health is any less you know, important, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: than anyone else who's you know, it's a realis it's
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  Speaker 1: a real problem around the place.
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  Speaker 3: Isn't that weird though, Because like any other thing you
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  Speaker 3: go to the doctor for, Like I break my arm,
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  Speaker 3: Everyone everyone you know could break their arm. The brain
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  Speaker 3: is just another part of your body that has moments
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  Speaker 3: where it's not working.
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 3: Why is that? Why does it come with so much stigma?
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  Speaker 1: I shouldn't And that's why I guess what this week's about, right, Yeah?
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  Speaker 1: Mental health weak? Yeah, yeah, it's.
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  Speaker 3: It's It is interesting because I I think I probably
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  Speaker 3: struggle with anxiety sometimes. I've had panic attacks and stuff,
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  Speaker 3: but I, for whatever reason, have never gone to a
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  Speaker 3: doctor or anyone to sort it out, which is probably
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  Speaker 3: a huge frustration for my partner. But I like, I
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  Speaker 3: like to arrogantly think I control myself better now, like
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  Speaker 3: I've gone to therapy, but I've never been medicated or
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  Speaker 3: anything like that. And I've never had anyone say, yes,
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  Speaker 3: you have anxiety. But I think I know that it is,
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  Speaker 3: and I've never I don't know why. I don't know
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  Speaker 3: why I've never had the confidence to sort it out.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you see as a sign of weakness that
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  Speaker 2: a few have to rely on medication or professional help,
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  Speaker 2: because going back to my friend, he would refuse to
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  Speaker 2: take his medication. Yeah, it's like, I don't feel like
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  Speaker 2: I can do this myself.
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  Speaker 3: Full disclosure. After my divorce, I was on antidepressants and
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  Speaker 3: I didn't like them. They made me feel like really
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  Speaker 3: like spacey. Yeah, and I was trying to do radio
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  Speaker 3: and I felt like I was real like not myself.
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  Speaker 3: So I just went off them cold turkey, which I
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  Speaker 3: now know you're not supposed to do.
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  Speaker 2: Plus you don't measure, you don't want to become reliant
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  Speaker 2: on them. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I had just had my all my own thoughts about it,
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  Speaker 3: which was so dumb, and I got the shakes, I
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: had brain zaps, and I like was physically unwell. And
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: I told my boss at the time and he was like,
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: you're not supposed to do that, and he got me
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  Speaker 3: extra help, but I like was just I had no
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: idea and I was like, I don't want to do
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: this anymore. So I just went off them. And I've
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: just always been really I don't know, like in my
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: head about all that kind of stuff.
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  Speaker 1: On the older you get to the the more like
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  Speaker 1: I didn't used to worry about things as much as
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I do now, you know, And there's and there's always
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: reasons why, you you know, like getting arrested at the
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: airport or getting shows canceled or all those things can
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: lead to the way you are now. There's always reasons
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: behind these things. They were like fifteen years ago, this
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: wouldn't affected me, but now it does because of this
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  Speaker 1: thing I find. It's a big way. And this industry too,
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: you know. And I don't want to bitch about this,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: and because we're fortunate to be in there, but the
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: TV industry in particular, it has always been the dream
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: of mine to be TV and radio and have that
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: huge part of my life just disappear. It has been hugely,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: hugely hard for me to get home, and I reckon
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: most people I thought had my back and were my
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: mates are not and not I've clearly worked out they're not. No,
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  Speaker 1: they're not. They're not friendly, but they're not they're not
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: fighting for you in the rooms that you're not in
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: for and that's been a real hard lesson to learn.
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  Speaker 3: From me, you know, and we've spoken briefly about it,
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  Speaker 3: and I have.
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  Speaker 1: The same similar things you know in this industry as well.
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  Speaker 3: You know, it affix your confidence and who you are
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  Speaker 3: because and like we're totally privileged to be this is
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: doing heart surgery. It's a very privileged.
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  Speaker 1: And that's why I feel we're talking about this because
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  Speaker 1: it's come up, mate, You're on the right, you know, Like.
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  Speaker 3: But I totally know what you mean because we sell
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  Speaker 3: our personalities like we are our own brand. So like
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  Speaker 3: when people say they don't want you, it feels really personal.
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  Speaker 3: It's like we don't like you literally don't want what
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  Speaker 3: I personally bring to the table. So it hurts.
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  Speaker 2: So like you're not like just a terrible chef, where
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: like she's that person can't cook. Yeah, yeah, I see
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  Speaker 2: what you're saying.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Or your specific skill, someone else is better at that
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  Speaker 3: skill than you. It's your personality, you know, Like it's
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: not personal, it's like it is.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I get there.
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  Speaker 2: And I think a lot of people in this industry
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  Speaker 2: and probably many others as well, they put so much
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: gravitas on who they are as a person, on their
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: job yeah, you know, you play so much importance on
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  Speaker 2: the success and your happiness and well being for you know,
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  Speaker 2: and that's correlated to how well you're doing in your
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: professional life. And it shouldn't be the way, but it is.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: And in a lot of professions you're like, if I'm
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: successful in work, then everything's going well in life. It's
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  Speaker 2: not necessary the.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: Way, no, And like you see, I always think about
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  Speaker 3: sports people, so they would you know, like say all blacks,
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  Speaker 3: they spend their whole life from when they're young gearing
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  Speaker 3: up to like being this all black and then your
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: career in terms of careers finishes pretty early, you know,
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  Speaker 3: like you're pre forty usually, and then they're like, well
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: what next, what next? Because you spend your whole life
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: focusing on this one thing that ends, you know, and
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: then you've got to figure out a career path after that.
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  Speaker 3: And you're right, people go into like this mental health
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  Speaker 3: to like battle with what is my worth and what
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: is my place in the world.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's and there's not nothing wrong with putting
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: a whole lot of word your worth and well being
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: and your professional career because that's you know, for many
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: people what they're passionate about and their hobby as well.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: At the same time you look at like you're talking
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: about Daniel Ricardo, the Formula one driver. Yeah, for weeks
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: they've been like he's gonna go. He's terribly set, you know,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: and he would.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Be so in his head at that interview I showed
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: you where he'd just done the race and he knows,
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: he knows it probably is his last race in Formula One,
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: and they're like, how do you feel about it? And
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: he's like trembling his lips trembling, and he's like, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: I was just trying to save the moment. So this
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: guy is like you imagine what that must be like.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well yeah, it's not just yeah, it's not Formula one,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: it's not just me. It's so many that those jobs
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: that you are.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean he will learn a lot of
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: money and he's in a privileged position, but he's not
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: immune to a mental health struggling.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't make it his mental health any less
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: than in someone else what they're going through as well.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: So being able to think I have separation between the
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: two parts of your life, the private and professional, is key, Yeah,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: absolutely key. Yeah, Like how work's making you feel or
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: you know how you feel you're doing it work. You've
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: got to some how leave that at the door and
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: separate that from your personal life, because that is so special.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: What's going on in people's personal life, friends, family and everything.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: It's easily taken for granted, I think at times.
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  Speaker 3: But I also find it weird that we spend so
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: much of our life around people all the time. Even
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: in the street, I'm like always thinking we're walking past
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: all these people, we're all living the same experience, but
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: I don't. We don't even speak to people, you know, Like,
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: I find that weird. And then you go to work
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: and I see all these people.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Here every day.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Going on.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: We're just like, hey, hey, and like some of the
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: people out there I've known for years and the only
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: conversation we ever have is like, how whuch we can?
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Good?
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: You're good?
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: It's so weird to me.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, Larissa, who works in the promotions department, she said,
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: for many years, all I would say to is hey,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: you go mate, and she'd say good, and then that
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: was our in direction. Yeah, doesn't go any further than that.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Crazy weird people you see every day you're right like, and.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: You end up seeing them sometimes more in your family,
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: like that's not natural.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: It's unusual. Yeah, it's very unusual.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: But maybe we should just like try and you know,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: talk a bit more. When someone's like obviously not having
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: a good time, just be like, hey, are you actually okay?
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: What do you do when you're having a bad time?
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: You can't say drinking?
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: What do I do specifically?
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: You can't say drinking.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I've been getting against I find like there's a lot
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  Speaker 1: of thing for me in routine, like fresh air, exercise,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: those things, you know, like just to trying to do that,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: so things at least if I do some exercise, at
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: least it's something I feel like I can control and
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: I feel better for doing. You know, it doesn't solve
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: the world's problems, but at least I've just done that.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Because if you don't exercise or something, I feel like, oh,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: that's another thing I now had to my list of things.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I haven't done that either, done this other
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: thing you know in your environment.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: That's like Jazz Thornton's another day, like she was like, oh,
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: I hate it, but exercise is really good, and it
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: is like, you know, it's good for you. It actually
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: like releases good chemicals into the brain and.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: You've achieved something too, You're fine with that and.
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: Just like focused your mind on yourself.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Switching off your brain is something I was really struggling
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, to be or to be honest, because
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: that's just you know, with this job, all you're thinking
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: about is ideas, and all you're thinking about is content
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: when it's making you know, see, all you're doing all
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: for your life is you know, making videos and things
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: and its content. And then so that I use I
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: think you know, the times I have been to talk
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: to someone professionally, they're like, you're still you're using that
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: part of your brain to other things as well. You know,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: you're going to those places that maybe because your brain's
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: just working over time because that's what you're used to
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: in your job. So you're probably thinking about all these
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: things that can potentially go wrong or other things in there. Yeah,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: in those situations because your brain you used to. Your
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: brain's just like cool, let's let's go through a hundred
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: different things that you know that could happen to what happened,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: might happen or do you know it's yeah, and that's
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: you know, it's fine when it's a work situation. But
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: when it's other stuff, you just go into those places.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: You go to worst case scenario every time, and that's.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: A huge yeah. But I because of traun me pa,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: I didn't you know, I didn't go to worst case
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: scenario for the airport and then then learned that one
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: the hard way, you know, And you know, I went
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: that with the court case and huge fines and losing
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: work and like having the mortgage up for you know,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: all this stuff and putting you know, straining on relationships
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: with friends and people colleagues and putting them through shit,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: and it was that was worst case scenario for me,
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: and then being all over the media. So I was like, well,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: that can happen for something that I didn't foresay, and
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: then I'm going to force I'm gonna put everything through
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: that folks now, you know. And so and as I
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: said before that I wouldn't have gone to that place.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: But because of that, that means I'm like that now,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: So there's a reason I guess for.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Something really horrible and like you were worse than me.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: But like when your name gets put that up there
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: and everyone's allowed to comment on you and your situation,
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: and you know what, you did, like the public is
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: shirts shirt. When everyone has a comment about you personally
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: and it's like a free for all, it is the
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: most horrible thing and it tears you down in the
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: most horrendous way. Were you look inside yourself and you're like,
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: does anyone actually like me?
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: Am I good at this? Like you know, like you
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: have this really raw, horrible moment where because you read
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: the comments, especially when you've got something public like what
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Ben went through, and then.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: You look at someone like poor bloody Reagan, Yeah from
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: something as simil as breakdown yea.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And the hate that she got for that, and yeah,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: but now you go, well, how is she? How is
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: your mental health? It would not be good and your
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: She was out there just to spread joy and then
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: to be involved in something.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: You know. And also what she did, she didn't break
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: the law. She made us laugh. Like I think we
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: as a show come at those kind of things from
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: a very empathetic standpoint. It's like like even with the
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: Dave Grohl thing, I'm like, I mean, he didn't break
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: the law. Again, he broke the contract with his wife.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: He screwed up, so he needs to they need to
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: deal with It's not for me to be like, you're
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: a terrible human because he's getting that anyway.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the other There's so much opinion everywhere which
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: can affect people too. Even you fall down rabbit holes
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: of information on TikTok and that can deeply affect your
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: mental health. You know, I've got a friend who falls
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: down those rabbit holes and you have really changed really
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: just from information just constantly coming at them. And because
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: he's clicked on one or two videos, now they think, oh,
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: this is the type of content he enjoys, so he
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: thinks that's his world. And then you get sucked into
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: this vortex of and you've got to pull yourself out,
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: go outside, get some exercise.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: And you're right like the media and the internet can't
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: be trusted because they build an algorithm around what you're
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: looking at, so you get into a little like bubble
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: of certain content and it's not Actually I don't.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Want to talk here, transplants. I clicked on one ad
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: once just out of interest. What was going to happen?
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: I think the world has changed a lot where it
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: would have been interesting to see statistics on mental health
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: and not again years ago, eighties, nineties, wasn't spoken about
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: as much, but whether there were as many mental health
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: problems as there are nowadays, with the environments that were
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: in there.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: All people just told like, you know, sir John killing you.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I hugely admire what he's done, you know, like he
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: was being an all black. It was traditionally staunch, you
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: know that all those sort of things that we now
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: know shouldn't be the case. Yeahd make it out there.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: He was suffering from it and probably is still, you know,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: but to come out publicly and to talk about what
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: he's going through it's usually brave. Yeah, and to go hey,
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm not okay and stuff.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: It was amazing what he's done and has continues to do.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: You know, he would be a pioneer yeah for that. Yeah,
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: in this country anyway.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: You're right, But back then there's probably other people and
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: the team going through the same sort of stuff might
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: not brave enough to talk about it, you know.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, you're right, everything has changed so much,
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: but like you can, the best thing we could do
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: is talk about it, just talk about how.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: But it's hard, Yeah, And I guess its hard because
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: I don't preach always what what I'm saying.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: That's the thing. I sometimes feel typocritical where you're like
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: go and talk to it and being listening here when
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: you're like, well, I probably don't do that enough with
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: my own friend group. So it's something that you need
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: to be active on, isn't it.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: But also like, rather than being like, well I just
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: need to go and listen to someone else, maybe you
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: can start by like talking to them about you first
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: and being more vulnerable with you, and then they will
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: feel safe to do it back. I don't know that
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: it's good.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: And sometimes when you start the conversation, the starting of
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: is the most daunting. As soon as you're in the conversation,
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: it's absolutely fine.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: Like this, we're all like, oh god, what are we
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: going to do?
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: What are we going to talk about? Yeah?
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: True, you had a fifty to fifty split on this
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: at the top. Where are your thoughts now?
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Mate?
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Where you're sitting? Percentage was a minutes.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, I go around in circles because I'm
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: kind of like, who, we're not expert? What do you
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: shut up? You know? In my head, I'm like, again,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: my brain's going shut up, just shut up. What are
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: you saying? You don't know? You know, do you know
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: what that is.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: That's from what you've experienced in the past. You're reading
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: those comments back in your mind about what you're doing now,
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: because I get that too every time I talk now
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: or think, you know, that's what you know, like, yeah,
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: I don't like listening back to anything I've done on
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: here because I'm like, who wants to listen to you?
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: Just shut up? Like you suck?
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Like you know all of that Poster syndrome. It's a
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: huge thing, you know, like when you don't feel like, yeah,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: you're quite you know, like you still I still get that,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: you know most most weeks, you know, when you're like,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: oh jeez, I felt like I'm I meant to be here,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: and I guess we're coming from things when your confidence
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: is low. We're getting knocked back again, that rejection thing,
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: and it makes that stuff worse. It's just a cycle
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: of like, you know, you can see what it happens, but.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: There's a finalite of using that as a driver too,
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: isn't it imposter syndrome? Yeah, yeah, it's having that balance
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: in your head of that's what makes you strive to
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: keep working hard in whatever industry you're in or whatever
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: you're trying to achieve in life.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: But like, I get my imposter syndrome. But to hear
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: you say that, I'm like, you guys have had like
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: a very long career and media. You're very well recognized
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: for all of the successful things you've done. Like, I
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: don't understand your imposter syndrome, do you know what I mean?
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like, why are you going forward? Being like, oh,
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: I've got to know here, And I'm like, how many
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: yearses have you had though? And how much success have
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: you had? You know? And even the airport scenario where
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: it ended up getting you, you know, all of that
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: went down, it was in the first instance, it was
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: still very entertaining, Like do you know what I mean?
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: And I don't know if I'll get in trouble for
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: saying that, but it was it was a great idea
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: and it was entertaining. And you mean, well, well it wasn't.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: It was never exactly at which I should have thought
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: through a lot more.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: But yeah, your intentions were to entertain people, and you did,
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: and you've had a very successful career subsequently. So yeah,
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Like to hear other people talk about imposter syndrome, you're
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: always like what, Yeah, Like Taylor Stoft Scott Imposter syndrome,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: and everyone does.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: Everyone does. Yeah, No, one probably feels like they need,
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: they deserve to be where they are what they're doing. Yeah,
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: we're all just been making our way through life, making
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: things up, aren't we.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: I've got a theory that no one in this business
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: knows actually what they're doing.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: A lot of people generally in life don't know. Like
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: a kid and I've got two kids, you.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Just got to say things with confidence.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: So do your parenting with confidence.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: She's got a ship together. That's the key life doesn't
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: that deal with confidence. But they're also the half thingcause
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: you can't keep living in the past either to move forward.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Spoke to die today again. We quote him all the time,
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Die Henwood, and he's like, you can't control what's even
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: in the past. You don't know what's coming in the future.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: All you can do is be living in this moment
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: that you're in right now. Obviously, you can organize yourself
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: in some regard, put people up at three o'clock from school,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: or you know, you just got to live in what
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: you're doing now. This is all you can control. What
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: we're doing right now. You know that's a that's a
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: really simple, nice way to look at life.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, again, it's yeah, it's great. I try and be
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: better at that, but I do struggle with that.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, I'm it as easy as such.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's great. It's a great way to be
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: and if you can do it, I love to it,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: you know, like more.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: And there's not to say, don't learn from what's happened
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: in the past. Yeah, but you can't change it now. Yeah.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: All you can do is control what you're doing now.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: Really does simplify things down and worrying about stuff that's
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: happening in the future it hasn't happened yet, Yeah, so
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: you can't change what's going to happen. Right.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: Well, I find my kids help me with that because
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: they're still little, so everything's like blows their mind. So,
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: like we find a ladybug out in the backyard and
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: it's like the coolest.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to see it.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: I'm just like, yeah, it is pretty cool. It's like
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: really shiny blue, you know, like like simplifying life down
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: to like, man, the sun feels good on my skin. Yeah, wow,
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: look at that shiny lady you know, Like.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: John Kellen talks about that again. He talks about the
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: coff his coffee in the morning and a shower. Yeah,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: those are the two things where he takes a moment
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: to go, Okay, I'm going to feel the water on
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: my back and I'm taking a moment and it's hot
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: and it's nice and that's my and whatever it is.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: He's like, it might not be the shower of the
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: coffee for you, maybe anything else, but the thing it
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: may be the appreciate the sun or whatever it is.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: You know, you go, okay, that's it's just a moment
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: to go okay, Yeah, that's cool. I get to do
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: that and then just have a sip for me and
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: it's good and this is my moment.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: You know. I like. Yeah, But you know, my wife
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: was saying she went to some therapy and stuff. And
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: if you're in a moment too, you can just go
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: breathe in and then hold your finger and your thaw
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: four thumb together and then work your thumb down your
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: fingers and taking a breath in each time, so you
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: do eight in total, and that apparently recalibrates yourself if
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: you're in a fluster. Yeah, that was a really terrible
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: thing to describe in an audio form. I saw you
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: doing it Fingerbase, just think of you. Yeah, you're gonna
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: have to do a lot of man making up there.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, want to die. I say, he has a cold shower.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: And he's temperature.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's clearly the shock of yeah cold water.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, obviously a shower handy for that hum in the ocean.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that would kind of work as well.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know if this has been helpful at all
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: for anyone, but it's it's been.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: It has been. It has just hearing someone like you
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: and John O like open up about yourself vulnerability.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's not something that comes naturally. Yeah, but it's
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: nice to Yeah, I guess to put it out there,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: and it's great. It's a great week to be talking
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: about the sorts of stuff.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: So if you are going through an other stuff, we
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: are thinking of you, and if you have people you
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: can talk to, it's a really good place to start.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: I thought, I just played this music. I don't know
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: else We're going to end it here, we go