Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Nuclear Maller Meltdown
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Cut booms.
- 0:02Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
- 0:05Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
- 0:09Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
- 0:12Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
- 0:15Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
- 0:18Speaker 1: Wow.
- 0:18Speaker 2: The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special.
- 0:22Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
- 0:29Speaker 1: The air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mahler.
- 0:35Speaker 1: Because four hours a night are not enough, and we
- 0:39Speaker 1: do this eight days a week, this would be I
- 0:42Speaker 1: think the eighth day, right. I'm a little confused because
- 0:45Speaker 1: we did the overnight show, had a little bit of
- 0:47Speaker 1: a pause, came back in to the remote studio, and
- 0:51Speaker 1: we have two shows today, and so yeah, I think
- 0:55Speaker 1: this would be the eighth day, right, because we have
- 0:57Speaker 1: five shows a week, three on the weekends, and there's
- 1:00Speaker 1: a little crossover here on on Friday in the middle
- 1:05Speaker 1: of January, the calm before the divisional playoffs. Don't forget
- 1:10Speaker 1: Benny versus the penny. You can binge watch or binge listen.
- 1:16Speaker 1: If you're blind, you can do both. If you can see,
- 1:20Speaker 1: it's Benny Versus the Penny on YouTube Benny Vspenny, comment,
- 1:24Speaker 1: subscribe support Benny versus the Penny in our latest endeavor.
- 1:29Speaker 1: We only have a few shows left. We've got this weekend.
- 1:33Speaker 1: You can binge watch the Saturday and Sunday edition, and
- 1:36Speaker 1: then next weekend is Championship weekend in the NFL, followed
- 1:40Speaker 1: of course by some little game in San Francisco. So
- 1:45Speaker 1: that is what we have on the agenda for that.
- 1:47Speaker 1: Now on this edition of the Fifth Hour, we've got
- 1:50Speaker 1: watch out for the Hummingbird the Dollar Shave Club as well.
- 1:56Speaker 1: But we're going to start with this. Today is Friday,
- 1:59Speaker 1: January sixthe eighth. It is National Fig Newton Day, National
- 2:05Speaker 1: Fig Newton Day. Now, my mom enjoyed a Fig Newton
- 2:11Speaker 1: many many years ago. I've not had one since my
- 2:13Speaker 1: mom was around. She's unfortunately gone for a while. And
- 2:17Speaker 1: the fig Newton, I learned some fun facts is why
- 2:21Speaker 1: would you need a day for the fig Newton? Is
- 2:25Speaker 1: it true that the fig Newton a cookie is actually
- 2:30Speaker 1: originally a health food? That's right, I fell down this
- 2:35Speaker 1: rabbit hole. So the fig Newton came into existence in
- 2:40Speaker 1: the late eighteen hundreds, like the eighteen nineties, and the
- 2:46Speaker 1: fig role became a popular food item because of medicine
- 2:53Speaker 1: at that time. Modern medicine in the nineteenth century, they
- 2:57Speaker 1: promoted that people needed to eat biscuits. Now I want
- 3:02Speaker 1: doctors to say, go eat biscuits. So they said, you
- 3:04Speaker 1: got to increase your consumption of biscuits and fruit and
- 3:09Speaker 1: your diet. You want to live a long time, and
- 3:13Speaker 1: you're worried about digestive problems, well, come on now, just
- 3:16Speaker 1: eat more biscuits. And so the fig roll became a
- 3:21Speaker 1: thing again because of all that. In eighteen ninety one
- 3:26Speaker 1: there was a guy named Charles Roser who invented a
- 3:29Speaker 1: machine to insert the fig paste into the dough and
- 3:35Speaker 1: abracadabrajocus pocus and eventually the product of Nabisco the original
- 3:42Speaker 1: name of the product and was changed to fig Newton.
- 3:47Speaker 1: So there you go, get figure with it. If you will,
- 3:51Speaker 1: you can get figure with it. So, in terms of
- 3:54Speaker 1: the meat of the matter, here on the fifth hour,
- 3:57Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about something that happened the other
- 4:00Speaker 1: night on the show Go back a few days in
- 4:01Speaker 1: the hot tub time machine and the flickering fluorescent twilight
- 4:06Speaker 1: of the overnight in the main studio at the Fox
- 4:10Speaker 1: Sports radio compound, where the air is often thick with
- 4:15Speaker 1: the scent of rotting trash that is there everywhere. I sit,
- 4:20Speaker 1: five nights a week in a radio studio doing my thing.
- 4:25Speaker 1: Some have called me the high Priest of the Graveyard Shift.
- 4:28Speaker 1: I don't know if that's an honor or not. I
- 4:30Speaker 1: consider myself the level headed gas bag navigating an obstacle course,
- 4:36Speaker 1: occasionally the friendly skies of the Red Eye, and oftentimes
- 4:43Speaker 1: it's like a tightrope walker, and you forget that you're
- 4:47Speaker 1: three hundred feet above a concrete floor. Every once in
- 4:51Speaker 1: a while you're reminded. And earlier this week the tightrope snapped.
- 4:55Speaker 1: The culprit was not a lack of preparation, but a
- 4:59Speaker 1: lack pause. Now to set the scene. For those that
- 5:02Speaker 1: didn't hear the show, bad job by you, But the
- 5:04Speaker 1: scene I know Lucky Tony knows exactly what I'm talking
- 5:07Speaker 1: about in Fergdog and Alf. For some of you, though
- 5:09Speaker 1: you don't so the scene was a classic NFL Malard monologue,
- 5:15Speaker 1: a verbal tapestry that we wove together equal parts sarcasm,
- 5:21Speaker 1: little vitriol, and some supposed insight. You are the judge
- 5:27Speaker 1: of that anyway. The subject of this particular male monologue
- 5:30Speaker 1: the lead was the Minnesota Vikings. Now, I love my
- 5:34Speaker 1: people in Minnesota. You guys have been great. The Vikings franchise, though,
- 5:39Speaker 1: has spent the better part of I don't know sixty
- 5:42Speaker 1: years perfecting the art of the almost. We almost won
- 5:47Speaker 1: the super Bowl, we almost went on a run on
- 5:50Speaker 1: the playoffs. We almost had this great quarterback. Now, the
- 5:54Speaker 1: inciting incident to inspire the malar monologue involved the general manager,
- 6:00Speaker 1: Quasy Adolphamensa, a man whose Ivy League resume is often
- 6:07Speaker 1: used as an academia shield against the slings and arrows
- 6:11Speaker 1: of social media and talk radio. And so a random
- 6:14Speaker 1: beat reporter tossed what I thought was a softball question
- 6:18Speaker 1: to Adolphamensa, the Vikings GM. It had all the velocity
- 6:24Speaker 1: of a rightening banana, and he asked if quarterback JJ
- 6:28Speaker 1: McCarthy was the man for twenty twenty six. Now, this
- 6:32Speaker 1: is a layup, go team go. That's the moment. Instead,
- 6:38Speaker 1: though instead Quasy did not take debate. The GM gave
- 6:43Speaker 1: the world a dramatic pause and then a verbal pratfall,
- 6:49Speaker 1: a stumble, a marble mouth moment that in my business.
- 6:55Speaker 1: When you do talk radio is the equivalent of finding
- 6:59Speaker 1: a giant chunk of gold, a golden nugget, not the
- 7:05Speaker 1: hotel in Vegas. It's like fighting it in the gutter. So,
- 7:11Speaker 1: acting as my own digital archaeologist, I was able to
- 7:16Speaker 1: excavate the audio gold from the dark web. There's a
- 7:21Speaker 1: big dark web of sports clips doing the heavy lifting,
- 7:24Speaker 1: the busy body work, if you will, of hand crafting
- 7:28Speaker 1: bullet points and timing the clip for the Mauth monologue. Now,
- 7:32Speaker 1: in the bureaucracy of FSR, this involves needlessly complex steps
- 7:39Speaker 1: of passing the clip to a circus of personnel yours truly,
- 7:45Speaker 1: A yours truly. I grabbed the sound. I toss it
- 7:49Speaker 1: to the middle manager. This is part b Kooper loop,
- 7:52Speaker 1: who then funnels it into the bowels of the FSR dungeon,
- 7:59Speaker 1: where this is the last part. A nameless, faceless editor
- 8:04Speaker 1: performs meatball surgery on the audio file. Now, the tragedy
- 8:08Speaker 1: of this mini Mallard meltdown was not that the clip
- 8:12Speaker 1: failed to play. It played. It was played way too
- 8:16Speaker 1: well an editor and I'm not going to send any
- 8:21Speaker 1: names here, perhaps motivated by a misguided sense of I
- 8:25Speaker 1: gotta clean this thing up, got to clean that audio up.
- 8:28Speaker 1: Decided to perform a digital lobotomy on the sound bite
- 8:32Speaker 1: that I wanted. They butchered the hesitation, the very essence
- 8:37Speaker 1: of the clip. They deleted the stumble, they smoothed over
- 8:43Speaker 1: every crack that had given or was going to give
- 8:48Speaker 1: the Malard monologue its very foundation, and everything I was
- 8:52Speaker 1: going to play off didn't work in doing so. They
- 8:56Speaker 1: didn't just edit a sound bite, they absolutely torpedoed my
- 9:00Speaker 1: plan of attack. And this was a friendly fire in
- 9:04Speaker 1: the trenches of the twenty hour a week live audio
- 9:09Speaker 1: Battle Royale plus this podcast, plus this podcast, and so
- 9:13Speaker 1: we're lucky enough to be on a lot of stations.
- 9:15Speaker 1: We have a big stage, and we're also essentially recording
- 9:19Speaker 1: a podcast because we have a lot of people that
- 9:21Speaker 1: listen when they want at their leisure on demand of
- 9:24Speaker 1: the podcast. So it's great we get two for one
- 9:27Speaker 1: and it usually works out pretty well. And while we're
- 9:30Speaker 1: doing that, though, always juggling torches in real time, you
- 9:34Speaker 1: rely on your support staff for a little bit. I
- 9:38Speaker 1: consider it the bare minimum. I try to do as
- 9:41Speaker 1: much as I can. I'm wired that way, and so
- 9:45Speaker 1: you need them sometimes to be the wind beneath your wings,
- 9:50Speaker 1: not the humming bird. That is a bird strike in
- 9:54Speaker 1: your engine. You don't need the hummingbird in your jet engine.
- 9:58Speaker 1: And so what fun followed was a moment of pure,
- 10:02Speaker 1: unadulterated radio theater, kabuki theater, a nuclear malar meltdown fueled
- 10:08Speaker 1: by the frustration of a craftsman who sees the finished
- 10:15Speaker 1: work shattered by some ham fisted apprentice who doesn't know
- 10:20Speaker 1: what they're doing. And so the migraine, headache and ulcer,
- 10:24Speaker 1: and it was a bit of an ulcer, you know,
- 10:27Speaker 1: the whatever ailments there were, they these are occupational hazards.
- 10:35Speaker 1: And it's it's really my issue, right I treat the
- 10:38Speaker 1: show way too seriously. It's a dopey overnight show. The monologues,
- 10:42Speaker 1: I like them to be a symphony. I do not
- 10:46Speaker 1: want them to be a child the first time they
- 10:48Speaker 1: ever played a piano where they just hit all the
- 10:50Speaker 1: buttons and rub their fingers up and down. To the
- 10:53Speaker 1: casual consumer, and you're listening to the fifth hour, so
- 10:56Speaker 1: you're a higher level, but the casual consumer, we're most
- 11:00Speaker 1: background noise. You're working in a factory, you're alone, you're
- 11:04Speaker 1: in your bedroom, you got the creeping crud or whatever.
- 11:07Speaker 1: You turn the radio on because you want to hear
- 11:09Speaker 1: a voice, because it's the sound of silence is pretty wicky.
- 11:12Speaker 1: So you turn it on. And so that's it. And
- 11:14Speaker 1: if you're listening with half an ear, a three second
- 11:17Speaker 1: pause is trivial. I completely get it. I completely get it, dude,
- 11:22Speaker 1: I do. But for me, it's heartburn. And you can
- 11:26Speaker 1: blame John Wooden, Ben Franklin. It was John Wooden who said,
- 11:30Speaker 1: make every day your masterpiece. Every day should be your masterpiece.
- 11:35Speaker 1: The Wizard of Westwood also known as win the Day,
- 11:39Speaker 1: you got to win the day. And by failing to prepare,
- 11:43Speaker 1: Benjamin Franklin said, you are preparing to fail. So I
- 11:46Speaker 1: always make sure to prepare. I want to make every
- 11:49Speaker 1: day my masterpiece. And that's always been been the goal.
- 11:53Speaker 1: And it works out most of the time. It does
- 11:57Speaker 1: not work out all of the time. And this was
- 12:01Speaker 1: one of those moments, and it was just a cacophony
- 12:05Speaker 1: of things that were going on and on and on,
- 12:08Speaker 1: and so it all kind of reached the tipping point
- 12:12Speaker 1: during the the Vikings monologue. And so you know this
- 12:18Speaker 1: and that that happens every once in a while. It happens.
- 12:22Speaker 1: I mentioned John Wooden, and I also mentioned the the
- 12:26Speaker 1: great Ben Franklin. The quote that does sum up this show.
- 12:32Speaker 1: If there's one quote we've talked about this in the past,
- 12:35Speaker 1: my favorite quote of all time. I was actually reminded
- 12:38Speaker 1: of this by a friend of mine this week and
- 12:42Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I got to focus
- 12:44Speaker 1: on that more because that's really what we do, and
- 12:48Speaker 1: he said, what are you getting about? All right? So
- 12:55Speaker 1: it's it is my single favorite quote. I used to
- 12:58Speaker 1: have this on my social media from w Seafields, a actor,
- 13:04Speaker 1: a comedian, fat alcoholic guy, very funny man in his
- 13:11Speaker 1: day one hundred years ago or close to it, and
- 13:14Speaker 1: his quote was, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance,
- 13:18Speaker 1: baffle them with bullshit. And that's that's what we try
- 13:23Speaker 1: to do. That's what we try to do here. So
- 13:26Speaker 1: you know, in this case, it was the difference that
- 13:30Speaker 1: SoundBite that the pause was the difference between a punchline
- 13:34Speaker 1: and a thud, And it is the sound of the
- 13:38Speaker 1: sausage being made. Only to find out someone forgot to
- 13:41Speaker 1: put the meat in the casing. Well, we can't have
- 13:44Speaker 1: sausage without the casing. Well I know, that, but somebody
- 13:46Speaker 1: screwed up and they had a tough night. So we
- 13:49Speaker 1: did snap a bit and went back into the basement
- 13:52Speaker 1: and just banged our head against the wall. A reminder
- 13:55Speaker 1: that even in this high tech, wacky wacky world of
- 13:59Speaker 1: modern and broadcasting, you still are at the mercy of
- 14:02Speaker 1: the human element. The names and faces of the guilty
- 14:05Speaker 1: will remain silent, just like they change all the time.
- 14:12Speaker 1: Some numb nuts. They really screwed up anyway, to put
- 14:16Speaker 1: a ball on this part of the fifth Hour. In
- 14:19Speaker 1: the end, more people, based on the feedback that I
- 14:23Speaker 1: get from you, more people seem to enjoy me having
- 14:25Speaker 1: a conniption fit like a fussy baby than you would
- 14:30Speaker 1: have just wanting to hear the random stylings of Quasi
- 14:35Speaker 1: Adopha Mensa, the Viking, GM, Stumble and bubble. So it's
- 14:39Speaker 1: one of those double edged swords things where we have
- 14:43Speaker 1: this ear for the authentic, and then it's like they
- 14:46Speaker 1: say in Japan, the wabi sabi. It's a Japanese term
- 14:50Speaker 1: that means flawed beauty, the perfection of imperfection, wabi sabi.
- 14:55Speaker 1: So there you go, all right, Now turn the pages
- 14:57Speaker 1: on that to the justice files. The Justice files if
- 15:02Speaker 1: you will. So the question, it's the big story that
- 15:06Speaker 1: did not end up on the radio show. It ended
- 15:08Speaker 1: up on the cutting room floor on the overnight show
- 15:11Speaker 1: here as we're doing this in real time on this Friday,
- 15:14Speaker 1: and so it involves college basketball. So the question, I
- 15:17Speaker 1: will frame it this way, where are you at on
- 15:21Speaker 1: the let me check my notes here, twenty six men
- 15:24Speaker 1: who are out? Nine eight men out? Now, twenty six
- 15:28Speaker 1: men who are out in the college football not college basketball,
- 15:33Speaker 1: college hoops point shaving scandal. Again, sorry, so where are
- 15:37Speaker 1: you at on the twenty six men who were involved
- 15:41Speaker 1: in the college hoops point shaving scandal according to the Feds?
- 15:45Speaker 1: Now for you reactionary dingle berries in the middle of
- 15:48Speaker 1: the room, not the back, not the side, not the front,
- 15:51Speaker 1: the middle of the room, the reactionary dingleberries. If you're
- 15:55Speaker 1: looking for a shoulder to cry on because some scholarship
- 15:58Speaker 1: scrub from Kennesaw State decided to trade his integrity for
- 16:02Speaker 1: a stack of easy green, You've come to the right neighborhood,
- 16:07Speaker 1: but you're knocking on the wrong door. So I did
- 16:09Speaker 1: not give this the full Milor monologue. I did not
- 16:12Speaker 1: give that to you on the Overnight let me tell
- 16:15Speaker 1: you why though, because the Dodgers in the nighttime hours before,
- 16:20Speaker 1: not that long before I cracked the microphones, the Dodgers
- 16:22Speaker 1: went out and backed up the Brinks truck for Kyle Tucker.
- 16:27Speaker 1: And in my industry, the industrial complex of the hot take,
- 16:33Speaker 1: it's not narrow casting, it's broadcasting. Right. So Superstar signs
- 16:39Speaker 1: sixty million dollars a year contract and decides not to
- 16:44Speaker 1: play for the Mets, and that beats the other story,
- 16:49Speaker 1: which is really it's the dollar shave club story. Right.
- 16:51Speaker 1: You were shaving points for a couple of shekels, a
- 16:55Speaker 1: couple of dollars, and so that wins the baseball signing
- 16:59Speaker 1: every day of the week and twice on the Ben
- 17:01Speaker 1: Malor Show, if you will. And besides, let's be real here,
- 17:05Speaker 1: ninety eight percent of the college hoop teams that are
- 17:09Speaker 1: involved in this it is a hodgepodge of nothingness. We're
- 17:15Speaker 1: talking about Alabama State, Nickels, State, Abilene Christian as some examples.
- 17:20Speaker 1: Now for our purposes, that does it get you warm
- 17:24Speaker 1: and tingley and move the needle. Not exactly a murderer's
- 17:28Speaker 1: row of talent. Yeah, listen, the kids are playing basketball.
- 17:31Speaker 1: Good for them. They're also not seeing a dime of
- 17:34Speaker 1: nil sugar sugar sugar, and they're looking at the point spread,
- 17:38Speaker 1: and they got these shady people that come over to
- 17:41Speaker 1: them and say, hey, you want to make a couple
- 17:43Speaker 1: of bucks. You don't have to lose the game. You
- 17:47Speaker 1: just have to underperform. Just pretend like you're a little sick.
- 17:52Speaker 1: You know, you got the whatcha mc college's not working,
- 17:55Speaker 1: You got to get the do hickey going, that whole thing.
- 17:59Speaker 1: And so well, college players are like, oh man, this
- 18:02Speaker 1: is easy money. E z money, and I'm good to go.
- 18:07Speaker 1: Now Here are the facts of life for the uninitiated,
- 18:10Speaker 1: in terms of those that are up in arms over
- 18:12Speaker 1: sports gambling and all that gambling has been around since
- 18:16Speaker 1: the very first caveman bet a rack of ribs on
- 18:21Speaker 1: which Wooly Mammoth would drop first. Me know that not real? Yeah,
- 18:29Speaker 1: well okay. The only difference now is that it is
- 18:33Speaker 1: legal in most places other than the People's Republic of California,
- 18:39Speaker 1: where we broadcast from and a few other outposts out
- 18:43Speaker 1: in the way way blue yonder way out there. So
- 18:48Speaker 1: it's all digital now, right, It's all digital. That's really
- 18:52Speaker 1: the difference now is it's it's on your phone and
- 18:56Speaker 1: it's staring you in the face every time turn on
- 19:00Speaker 1: the tube, every time you turn on the radio show.
- 19:02Speaker 1: I mean, listen, hey, I'm part of it. You know.
- 19:04Speaker 1: DraftKings is a great sponsor of the radio show. And
- 19:08Speaker 1: there's a lot of Draft Kings love that we give
- 19:11Speaker 1: them because they love us and we enjoy them. And
- 19:15Speaker 1: the whole thing so in terms of the banit Caucus,
- 19:19Speaker 1: which is out in force now, you've got to get
- 19:22Speaker 1: rid of it. And I'm not part of that group.
- 19:25Speaker 1: I'm on the other side of the aisle. I'm not
- 19:27Speaker 1: clutching pearls acting like the sky is falling because of
- 19:31Speaker 1: the point shaving scandal. Spare me. It makes me want
- 19:34Speaker 1: to bar from my mouth because it's not freedom. That
- 19:39Speaker 1: is not freedom. That's a nanny state with a whistle.
- 19:43Speaker 1: And I don't know about you, do you. I don't
- 19:46Speaker 1: want to live in a world like that. The whole
- 19:49Speaker 1: thing is, it's like cars. I'll use an example, like cars.
- 19:53Speaker 1: So the thing about cars is some dope is going
- 19:55Speaker 1: to treat the freeway the interstate like it's the Indy
- 19:58Speaker 1: five hundred or the Daytona five hundred. And there's gonna
- 20:02Speaker 1: be accidents and people are gonna get hurt and all that.
- 20:04Speaker 1: Do you get rid of cars? You want a kitchen
- 20:08Speaker 1: because you want to make supper, Well, some Mama Luke
- 20:11Speaker 1: is going to burn their house down and maybe even yours.
- 20:15Speaker 1: So this is the freedom versus fallout quagmire. And to me,
- 20:19Speaker 1: the malor math on this is rather simple. The benefit
- 20:22Speaker 1: you get the liberty if you choose. It's not for everyone,
- 20:25Speaker 1: and everyone shouldn't do it to put your skin in
- 20:28Speaker 1: the game. In terms of sports wagering, the cost you
- 20:32Speaker 1: deal with is the greed. The greed, the fallout of
- 20:38Speaker 1: the stupid, right, the fallout of the stupid, and humans
- 20:42Speaker 1: are fallible, and so listen, there are twenty six geniuses,
- 20:48Speaker 1: absolute geniuses, that are completely tied up in that federal
- 20:54Speaker 1: what they're calling the international criminal conspiracy, because not just
- 20:59Speaker 1: college basketball player, it's Chinese basketball. They don't mess around
- 21:03Speaker 1: in China, so good luck on that. And the people
- 21:07Speaker 1: involved in this, based on what I've been reading here,
- 21:09Speaker 1: did not exactly go to the Ocean's eleven school of
- 21:13Speaker 1: planning a money grab heist situation. They followed the New
- 21:20Speaker 1: York Times bestseller the paperback version of a complete idiot's
- 21:25Speaker 1: guide two point shaving. Now, in the old days, in
- 21:30Speaker 1: the old country, you met a guy in a trench
- 21:35Speaker 1: coat behind a dumpster and there'd be envelopes that would
- 21:40Speaker 1: be exchanged with cash, and that was that. There was
- 21:44Speaker 1: nothing recorded at all. Today, the modern element to this
- 21:50Speaker 1: these scholars, these scholars are leaving a digital paper trail
- 21:56Speaker 1: longer than the standard CVS receipt. They're laying out the
- 22:01Speaker 1: whole scheme in text message chains. It's integrity for dummies.
- 22:07Speaker 1: It's like, hey, hey, skip the layup in the second
- 22:11Speaker 1: half and I'll buy you a used Honda click scent
- 22:17Speaker 1: screenshot and it's like, why don't you what do you
- 22:20Speaker 1: even want to use Honda? All right? The gambling houses
- 22:23Speaker 1: are not charities. Obviously, this is big money and they
- 22:28Speaker 1: often work, believe it or not, on razor thin margins,
- 22:32Speaker 1: and they're not in the business of losing a bunch
- 22:35Speaker 1: of benchwarmers from or losing, you know, to a bunch
- 22:39Speaker 1: of bench warmers from I don't know nickels state, I
- 22:42Speaker 1: don't even know where that is. The moment the alarm
- 22:45Speaker 1: bells sound and things aren't kosher, there's some kind of
- 22:50Speaker 1: fugazy betting pattern, the gambling companies release the hounds and
- 22:55Speaker 1: hand the digital keys to the Feds. It's checks and
- 22:59Speaker 1: balance is in the age of the algorhythm. That's the
- 23:02Speaker 1: way this works. Now. I saw some comments by the
- 23:04Speaker 1: US US Attorney and you know, talking about how, you know,
- 23:09Speaker 1: significant corruption of the integrity of sports and all that
- 23:15Speaker 1: very dramatic. He's really just describing the weather, is all
- 23:20Speaker 1: he's doing. And if you're the US attorney, this is
- 23:23Speaker 1: a big story, and this can enhance your career in
- 23:27Speaker 1: law enforcement and in that world political world as well,
- 23:30Speaker 1: and so it's important for you to get out in
- 23:32Speaker 1: front and the cameras and really go deep on how
- 23:35Speaker 1: bad it is. But but this is the new normal.
- 23:37Speaker 1: If you think this ends with a few Chinese Basketball
- 23:42Speaker 1: Association games and some low level college basketball, then I
- 23:47Speaker 1: have some really really nice beachfront property in the Sahara
- 23:52Speaker 1: Desert right in the middle of it, with your name
- 23:55Speaker 1: on it. I'd like to I'd like to make a deal.
- 23:56Speaker 1: The NFL, you got I think at some point they're
- 24:01Speaker 1: involved in this, right you gotta think they're involved in this.
- 24:04Speaker 1: We've had Major League Baseball, the NBA, college basketball. The
- 24:08Speaker 1: argument's always been in NFL and college football. In order
- 24:12Speaker 1: for it to really work, you just have to get
- 24:14Speaker 1: the quarterback. You just have to get the quarterback. But
- 24:17Speaker 1: even that you could have if the quarterback's really bad,
- 24:20Speaker 1: they would bench the quarterback and then you've got to
- 24:22Speaker 1: get the backup quarterback. Like the fixers are already lurking
- 24:25Speaker 1: in the shadows, you know, they're like, oh, that would
- 24:27Speaker 1: be the all timer. Because there's so much money bet
- 24:30Speaker 1: on the NFL. It would be very easy in theory, right,
- 24:35Speaker 1: if you workshop it, it would be very easy for
- 24:37Speaker 1: them to get away with it. In theory. The only
- 24:40Speaker 1: problem is everything's done via text message now so, and
- 24:44Speaker 1: people have loose lips and all that. So that would
- 24:47Speaker 1: be the hard part because you do it all via
- 24:49Speaker 1: text and you'd have to use coded language and all that,
- 24:52Speaker 1: and good luck on that. So you take the good,
- 24:55Speaker 1: you take the bad, and you realize that as long
- 24:57Speaker 1: as there is a scoreboard, there's a guy up in
- 25:01Speaker 1: the nosebleeds who's tossing down raspberry is trying to rig
- 25:05Speaker 1: the action electronically and all that. So the bottom line,
- 25:12Speaker 1: all right, the bottom line, the game is obviously not
- 25:16Speaker 1: over by a long shot, it's just being played by
- 25:18Speaker 1: a different set of rules. And if you're surprised that
- 25:23Speaker 1: the kid that has no nil check, no nil check
- 25:29Speaker 1: and a smartphone is somehow susceptible to a big, giant
- 25:35Speaker 1: cartoon payment and he's not even that big, by the way,
- 25:39Speaker 1: then you haven't been paying attention. And really, you haven't
- 25:41Speaker 1: been paying attention, not just currently, not the times we're
- 25:44Speaker 1: in now, the modern era, the zeitgeist of the times,
- 25:48Speaker 1: if you will, you haven't been paying attention to the
- 25:51Speaker 1: human race for the last I don't know, six thousand
- 25:56Speaker 1: years something along those lines. It's been a minute. It
- 26:00Speaker 1: has absolutely been a minute now. I had mentioned on
- 26:05Speaker 1: the radio show that I was going to do this
- 26:08Speaker 1: big rant and I didn't get to it about a
- 26:10Speaker 1: certain pro bouncy ball player. So I'm gonna save that.
- 26:15Speaker 1: I'll do that for tomorrow. I'm up against it, right,
- 26:19Speaker 1: And as the Great Pt Barnum said, you always have
- 26:22Speaker 1: to have a little something for everyone. Gotta have a
- 26:24Speaker 1: little something for everyone. So I'll have that. I'm sure
- 26:27Speaker 1: you'll look forward to that with bells and whistles. But remember,
- 26:29Speaker 1: Benny versus the Penny is on right now. Benny versus
- 26:33Speaker 1: the penny is available. You can binge watch that. You
- 26:36Speaker 1: can go back and listen to some of the old
- 26:38Speaker 1: radio shows this week and all the way back nine
- 26:42Speaker 1: years or something like that. That's quite the roller coaster,
- 26:44Speaker 1: a lot of chills and thrills. Some of the boys
- 26:47Speaker 1: are still going back through the archive, the upside down
- 26:51Speaker 1: archive of work that we have on the radio show,
- 26:56Speaker 1: so check all that out. Have a great day today
- 26:58Speaker 1: whatever you are up to, and don't forget new pods tomorrow.
- 27:03Speaker 1: If you want to send a message in for the
- 27:04Speaker 1: mail bag, you can do that right now care of
- 27:07Speaker 1: Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com. That's Real fifth
- 27:11Speaker 1: Hour at gmail dot com. Your comments can and will
- 27:17Speaker 1: be used against you in the court of the malor militia.
- 27:21Speaker 1: So be very very very careful. All right on, behalf
- 27:24Speaker 1: of the Great dandyg Radio. Have a wonderful time in
- 27:31Speaker 1: Bye bye Aloha, Osta pasta. Blah blah blah blah blah
- 27:36Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. You're fired. That's how you do it. Yeah, now, no,
- 27:42Speaker 1: that's not how you do it, all right, That's how
- 27:45Speaker 1: I did it. What do you want me to do?
- 27:47Speaker 2: You pay me five hundred thousand dollars on endorse A
- 27:49Speaker 2: game magazine
- 27:53Speaker 1: Got a murder, I gotta go