Transcript

BIG FONT BOYS · Matt and Alex

0:02
S1: A listener production.
0:04
S2: It's time to get scrumptious with two sexy English muffins.
0:09
S3: It sounds delicious and it's adorable.
0:11
S2: It's Matt and Alex. All day breakfast.
0:13
S4: Well, it's a little bit of Jurassic Park happening in
0:16
S4: real life. Alex Dyson As scientists have tried to bring
0:19
S4: back the woolly mammoth.
0:20
S5: Oh, well, I've been thinking they'd do that for a
0:23
S5: long time. Because mammoths, they always fell into a bog,
0:27
S5: and they'd find these big old mammoths, skeletons or preserved
0:31
S5: mammoths in bogs places.
0:33
S4: Well, the good thing about the mammoth is it's not quite.
0:35
S4: It's not. It's less likely to sort of scratch your
0:37
S4: face off a velociraptor. Yeah. So I kind of feel
0:41
S4: a little bit better about woolly mammoths. But anyways, they
0:44
S4: haven't successfully been able to, um, bring back the mammoth. But, um,
0:49
S4: the headline here says scientists trying to bring back the
0:51
S4: woolly mammoth have created a woolly mouse.
0:54
S5: I mean, that's just a colloquialism waiting to happen, isn't it? Oh,
0:58
S5: he promised a mammoth and gave him a mouse.
1:01
S4: Yeah, as soon as I. As soon as he pulled
1:03
S4: out the woolly mouse, we knew it was not going
1:06
S4: to work. Um, so anyways, the woolly mouse, I mean,
1:11
S4: it looks cute. It looks very cute.
1:14
S5: Does it have tusks?
1:16
S4: No, no, no. No tusks. Well, look.
1:19
S5: What's the point of that?
1:22
S4: Look, to be fair, it does have more hair than
1:24
S4: a normal mouse. It looks like it's been through a
1:26
S4: hair dryer. Do you know what I mean? Like it
1:28
S4: looks like it's crept into the tumble dryer overnight and
1:31
S4: had a few spins and then popped out like a cartoon.
1:35
S5: To make a mouse quite woolly. Surely there are other
1:38
S5: non extinct animals with woolly hair you could just use
1:42
S5: on the mouse to give it that. Why do you
1:43
S5: need mammoth stuff now?
1:45
S4: They want to genetically modify Asian elephants to give them
1:48
S4: woolly mammoth traits. But people are saying, um, you're not
1:53
S4: actually resurrecting anything. You're not bringing anything back from the past.
1:57
S4: You're just making a hairy elephant.
1:59
S5: Oh, come on, people. They're the same people that go
2:02
S5: to magic shows and just go, um, that lady's not
2:05
S5: actually in half. The first person's legs are tucked up,
2:07
S5: and it's a different person in the bottom, right? Like, yeah,
2:10
S5: just enjoy the show, will ya?
2:12
S4: You just get. Let the elephant get a wave. God
2:14
S4: damn it. You know what I mean?
2:16
S5: Like, that's the same thing I want to tell you
2:18
S5: about today's episode of All Day Breakfast. Just enjoy the show, guys.
2:22
S5: You don't need to nitpick it. There'll be a few
2:24
S5: facts that are wrong. We'll say if you just enjoy
2:27
S5: the show.
2:27
S4: Go up our sleeves. Okay? Don't ask to see behind
2:30
S4: our back. Just enjoy it. All right, well, let's get
2:34
S4: this magic show underway as we pull so much stuff
2:38
S4: out of our ass yet again.
2:39
S5: It's it's gonna be a mammoth show. This one, it's
2:41
S5: going to be an absolutely mammoth show.
2:44
S6: Let's get this show on the road.
2:46
S7: Let's go. Here we go, here we go, here we go.
2:50
S5: Well, metalkind plenty happening in America, as you can imagine.
2:54
S5: Just a breakneck pace of the the weird, weird and
2:58
S5: wonderful things going on. Some people horrified at what they're seeing,
3:02
S5: other people delighted. But wherever you stand, the uncompromising nature
3:08
S5: of the Trump with Elon presidency is, um, is going along.
3:13
S5: I still, I personally, I still don't know how we
3:16
S5: got an entire government department named after a Shiba Inu
3:20
S5: meme that will baffle historians.
3:23
S4: I mean, look, hey, hey, you can say all these things, right?
3:27
S4: But I got to tell you right now, I. I
3:31
S4: refuse to say anything, all right anymore, I just refuse. Hey,
3:36
S4: have you ever been to Thailand, Alex Dyson?
3:38
S5: I have been to Thailand. Wonderful place.
3:40
S4: Have you ever. Have you ever asked a Thai taxi
3:43
S4: driver to talk about the King of Thailand?
3:50
S5: Um. I've never inquired as to the Thai royalty? No. Why?
3:55
S5: What are they?
3:55
S4: Did you not say much, my friend? They will.
3:59
S5: Unlike you. When I get into taxis, I try to
4:01
S5: keep conflict to a minimum. Um. So I have not
4:05
S5: done that.
4:05
S4: And I dare say they they they keep their lips
4:07
S4: sealed for safety.
4:09
S5: Well, I'm not saying anything bad. I'm just reporting the
4:12
S5: uncompromising nature that is happening here, including the latest in
4:17
S5: the attempt to to turn around. What the what has
4:20
S5: been described as getting too woke, too politically correct. You know,
4:24
S5: we need to get rid of this kind of stuff
4:27
S5: from our lives. And the most recent example of that,
4:31
S5: and this is just a zero tolerance approach now, is
4:34
S5: that the US military is removing photos of the aircraft
4:39
S5: that dropped bombs on Japan, dropped the atomic bomb on
4:42
S5: Japan in World War two, removing photos of the aircraft
4:45
S5: because the aircraft's name was Enola Gay. And there's just
4:49
S5: a zero tolerance approach to having.
4:51
S4: No.
4:52
S5: This is the word gay anywhere near the military.
4:55
S4: Map that is.
4:56
S5: We cannot be having.
4:58
S4: That is an onion story. I'm 1,000% sure of it.
5:02
S5: Reading Newsweek, they're reporting images of Enola Gay. The aircraft
5:05
S5: that dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Japan are
5:06
S5: among those targeted by US military in an initiative to
5:09
S5: eliminate content related to diversity, equity and inclusion, aka dei.
5:16
S5: Now they're saying it could be a mistake. You know,
5:18
S5: it's in the file name, like gay is in like
5:21
S5: the file name of the photo. They're like, well, get
5:23
S5: rid of that. It's like people don't know what's the
5:26
S5: name of quite a famous plane in American history. Um, so, yeah,
5:32
S5: the Pentagon made a directive to remove Dei related content
5:35
S5: and its results in the flagging of more than 26,000
5:38
S5: images across the military branches.
5:40
S4: So because it's also it's also flagging people whose names
5:44
S4: are gay as well.
5:45
S5: Yep.
5:46
S4: Oh my God.
5:47
S5: So I, I thought that was quite interesting because it
5:50
S5: also just the names. It's not the first time it's happened.
5:52
S5: We had the the rumor that got spread that $500
5:57
S5: million was going to Hamas in Gaza for condoms, um,
6:02
S5: which turned out to be incorrect. It stemmed because there
6:08
S5: was American aid programs looking to help lower the cases
6:13
S5: of HIV in Ethiopia, where there is a province called Gaza,
6:18
S5: and things got out of control. But there's zero tolerance.
6:22
S5: You see the name Gaza, you see the name gay,
6:25
S5: and we're just shutting things down, okay, in America. And,
6:30
S5: you know, you've got to applaud the the way in
6:33
S5: which people forge ahead with this. And I've actually, you know,
6:35
S5: using my connections. Matt. Now in politics, I've actually got
6:37
S5: a leaked document of the next, uh, US government's initiatives
6:43
S5: that are going to be coming forward.
6:45
S4: This is a scoop. No one else has got this information.
6:47
S5: It's a scoop. I'll let you know what's going on. Yes.
6:52
S5: After recent aircrash disasters were blamed on DEA, the FAA
6:58
S5: are now going to be handing out bottles of Clearasil
7:01
S5: to all pilots because they want to get rid of
7:05
S5: all blackheads. Um, in the aviation industry. Um, tariffs are
7:12
S5: going to be popped on the nation of Greece, uh,
7:16
S5: until they rename the Greek island of Lesbos. Um, uh,
7:23
S5: copies of Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka are going to be
7:26
S5: taken out of libraries across the nation. Uh, because of
7:31
S5: the famous first line of this book, which which was,
7:35
S5: as Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he
7:39
S5: found himself transformed in bed into gigantic insect. Um, they
7:43
S5: don't want anyone woke up in ID libraries. So that
7:48
S5: joke there for the English Lit graduates amongst us. There's
7:55
S5: going to be tariffs popped on Melbourne the city of
7:58
S5: Melbourne in Australia. Matt.
8:00
S4: Oh no.
8:00
S5: Um yeah. It got slapped on the the premier of
8:04
S5: Victoria trying hard to negotiate um the increased prices on
8:09
S5: the light rail network in in Melbourne. They're trying to
8:13
S5: explain to America. No we've got lots of trams. Trams.
8:19
S5: We've got lots of trams people. And the Boxing Day
8:23
S5: test will no longer be shown on American television, just
8:28
S5: in case there's a Mexican wave. They do not want
8:31
S5: Americans seeing anything like that on their screens. So.
8:38
S4: Well good luck.
8:39
S5: Thank you America.
8:39
S4: Good luck to the gutting of the departments. America. We've
8:43
S4: got to stay. Keep us pure.
8:50
S7: Oops.
8:53
S4: Well, Alex Dyson, I want you to picture yourself at
8:57
S4: a music festival. Okay.
8:59
S5: Okay. Yep.
9:00
S4: Now you're standing there. There's a bit of mud about
9:03
S4: because it's been raining, but it is absolutely heaving. The
9:06
S4: vibes are brilliant. Huge stage.
9:10
S5: I'm carrying $48 worth of drinks. You know, the double
9:15
S5: parked in both hands, hand around the top of.
9:18
S4: The vodka.
9:19
S5: And the bottom of the top can. $12 each. Yeah.
9:22
S5: Just there. Yeah.
9:24
S4: Um, you've got the singlet on. You've got the speed
9:26
S4: dealer sunnies. Life is great.
9:29
S5: Crumb bag round the waist.
9:30
S4: Yeah. Okay.
9:31
S5: Like chapstick in there? Yeah.
9:32
S4: And you were looking forward to three days of seeing
9:36
S4: the following bands. I'm just going to name some names.
9:40
S4: Denzel Curry. Carry. Amyl and the sniffers. Oh, the Scissor sisters.
9:46
S5: Ooh, I do feel like the prodigy. Ah!
9:49
S4: Snow patrol.
9:51
S5: From the top rope.
9:52
S4: Royel. Otis.
9:53
S5: Yes! Love those boys.
9:54
S4: Future islands.
9:56
S5: Seasons, baby.
9:57
S4: A bit of envogue, which I'm pretty sure did. What's
10:01
S4: it gonna be? Cause I can't pretend.
10:05
S5: Well, they're not as on vogue as they used to be.
10:08
S5: That bad. But when that song comes out, I'm sure
10:10
S5: the crowd will be jumping.
10:12
S4: Alanis Morissette.
10:14
S5: Oh, please tell me she's playing Jagged Little Pill in full. Oh, what.
10:17
S4: An album, mate. So, I mean, when you hear about that,
10:20
S4: if you if you got to see a music festival
10:23
S4: with that sort of lineup, would you be disappointed?
10:26
S5: Um, look, I would have the time of my life.
10:28
S5: I would say Matt Okine.
10:30
S4: Yeah, but the people who are planning to go to
10:33
S4: Glastonbury this year are the world's, you know, probably the
10:37
S4: world's most renowned, biggest music festivals alongside, you know, your coachellas. Um,
10:44
S4: people are angry. People are not happy.
10:47
S5: Not happy campers.
10:48
S4: Yeah. That's. Yeah, literally that's just some of the lineup.
10:51
S4: But it's actually the big guns that people are not
10:55
S4: happy about when it comes to Glastonbury.
10:57
S5: I mean, you and I have been at the forefront
10:59
S5: of the quality of lineup debates for, for quite a while.
11:04
S5: It used to be our job to literally announce them
11:06
S5: to the world, then sit in front of a text
11:08
S5: line as people responded. Um, so we're not unused to
11:12
S5: people being disappointed with it. Um, Glastonbury, I guess, has
11:16
S5: quite a it's all about expectations, isn't it? So who
11:20
S5: are the big names that that they pulled that people
11:22
S5: are like, maybe not your finest home run here. Glasto.
11:26
S4: Well okay, so, um, I'm going to tell you the
11:30
S4: three main headline acts. Uh, well, I guess the people,
11:35
S4: the the people that are kind of getting the biggest attention.
11:39
S4: And the biggest questions are.
11:40
S5: Okay, so these are the people in the big font.
11:43
S5: The big font.
11:44
S4: People. These are the very first names that come in
11:47
S4: each day.
11:47
S5: Festivals live or die by the big font people.
11:51
S4: Yeah. I mean, if you don't know this right, you win.
11:55
S4: Any agent or manager is like, um, you know, trying
12:00
S4: to negotiate the deal for a band the size of
12:04
S4: the font that your band will be, like mentioned in.
12:08
S4: I'm serious. It will absolutely be a make or break
12:14
S4: negotiating point, like, you will have your manager saying they
12:18
S4: want to give you this, they want to give you that,
12:20
S4: but you will only be in the third line in size,
12:24
S4: you know, 14 and the headliners are going to be.
12:27
S5: In alphabetical order because some, some festivals do that. These
12:32
S5: egalitarians like, oh, they're all things like, no.
12:36
S4: Well that's the thing.
12:36
S5: Up to 72 font. Thank you.
12:38
S4: So the biggest font on each day Friday Glastonbury is
12:43
S4: the 1975. Okay. Followed in the slightly smaller font by
12:49
S4: Loyle Carner, Biffy Clyro and Alanis Morissette. Okay. Busta Rhymes
12:53
S4: is in even smaller font below that. Right, right, right.
12:55
S4: All right, so the 1975 is part of the is
12:58
S4: part of the issue here. Now obviously 1975 having some
13:00
S4: big hits. Um, some people kind of maybe still holding
13:04
S4: a little bit of grudge against Matt Healy after some
13:07
S4: of the things that he said in a show against, uh,
13:10
S4: in Malaysia, you know, or what he did, we did
13:15
S4: he did something. He kissed a a male bandmate on stage. Um,
13:18
S4: he was he was sued by the by the organizers
13:21
S4: of the event. Then he came out and said something
13:23
S4: quite ableist in response to the people running that. So
13:27
S4: people still a little bit of a grudge there. Plus,
13:29
S4: also wondering whether the 1975 had that that global sort of,
13:33
S4: you know, reach that people need for this sort of lineup.
13:36
S4: The second headliner is Neil Young on Saturday night, followed
13:41
S4: by Charli XCX, and I think some people might even
13:43
S4: be wondering whether, although Neil Young has the chops, obviously,
13:46
S4: and the experience whether Charli XCX should have.
13:49
S5: Well, that's that's the discussion, isn't it? It's has the
13:52
S5: chops or had the chops. Is Neil still going to
13:55
S5: give the performances with the music that people like? Just
13:58
S5: is it the legacy that puts him above Charli, even
14:01
S5: though Charli is just the biggest in the moment? You know.
14:05
S4: Red hot right now? Well, the other thing is the
14:08
S4: other thing has happened on the Sunday where we've got
14:11
S4: Olivia Rodrigo headlining on the Sunday, followed by Rod Stewart.
14:17
S4: And again, this is this, this, this matching has pissed
14:22
S4: a lot of people off because I think people are saying, hey,
14:25
S4: you've missed it here.
14:27
S5: Yes. Yes. Okay. Yeah. If you were doing it, Matt,
14:30
S5: would you put Rod Stewart as the sort of kitsch
14:33
S5: disco headliner with Olivia Rodrigo, you know, just beforehand. And
14:39
S5: then on the other night, have Charlie finishing the nights
14:42
S5: with the pop bangers and have kneeled beforehand, sort of
14:45
S5: with a lower mood because I've got to say, a
14:48
S5: big day out in Australia, it was probably 2012 or 13.
14:52
S5: Neil Young was on and headlining a stage and it's
14:57
S5: great music, but for me, I love listening to that
14:59
S5: kind of music when I'm at home by myself, you know? Yes,
15:04
S5: at the big Day Out, finishing the night with old man.
15:08
S8: Take a look at my life. I'm a lot like you.
15:12
S5: It's like it's not quite the the.
15:15
S4: It's the 6 p.m. time slot, you know what I mean?
15:19
S4: But someone has pointed out, okay, Charli XCX currently has
15:23
S4: 32 million monthly listeners on Spotify, and the person billed
15:27
S4: after her, Daichi um, Daichi, Docchi has not 39 million
15:32
S4: monthly listeners. Okay, so both of those artists.
15:34
S5: He's been smashing.
15:35
S4: It. Yeah, she's she's absolutely been smashing it. So both
15:38
S4: of those artists, um, have got 32 and 39 million,
15:41
S4: whereas Neil Young has only 6 million listeners per month. Okay.
15:46
S4: So you got to ask, are the Neil Young fans
15:48
S4: going to be turning out for this? Um, I don't know.
15:52
S4: I don't know, but overall, you know, in a personal thing,
15:55
S4: I get the appeal of, of the whole lineup. But
15:58
S4: I also I also it feels a little bit like.
16:02
S5: Yeah.
16:02
S4: There's no one person that is like.
16:05
S5: Well.
16:06
S4: You know, really taking it here.
16:08
S5: Well, how about we think about it this way? Matt Okine. Um,
16:12
S5: someone is organizing a podcast festival. All right. You're doing
16:19
S5: your Saturday night headliners. Okay. Is Matt and Alex on
16:24
S5: Saturday night? The Neil Young of podcast festival headliners.
16:28
S4: In.
16:28
S5: Which.
16:30
S4: We are, the more we are the plus many more.
16:38
S9: All day breakfast.
16:45
S10: Cooking goose down there.
16:46
S11: Mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo.
16:51
S5: Well, Matt, it's absolutely compulsory. We talk about this story
16:54
S5: given a couple of years ago, you and I made
16:57
S5: bank after following a trend where a chicken nugget in
17:04
S5: the shape of an Among Us character sold for tens
17:06
S5: of thousands of dollars, we we hit the market with
17:10
S5: our chicken nuggets that looked everything from, like the map
17:15
S5: of the continental United States of America, or the head
17:18
S5: from the Rick and Morty episode that says, show us
17:20
S5: what you got. We made probably 50 bucks off this
17:24
S5: 24 pack of nuggets, which is quite impressive, I think.
17:29
S5: But we've been blown out of the water recently and,
17:32
S5: you know, we're left sort of scratching our heads because
17:34
S5: we've been off our game. We haven't been searching for
17:36
S5: for this recently. It's just a damn shame.
17:39
S4: I just don't think about it enough. Because if I
17:41
S4: just saw, you know, a chip that looked like Abraham Lincoln,
17:46
S4: I would just eat it. Yeah, you know what I mean?
17:48
S4: I'd be like this. Oh, look at that. That looks
17:50
S4: like Abraham Lincoln. And then I'd pop it straight into
17:52
S4: my mouth, not realizing that I could have sell that
17:55
S4: chip for literally tens of thousands of dollars, much like
17:59
S4: someone did. Um, in the US of a where a
18:04
S4: Cheeto that was shaped like the beloved Pokemon Charizard was
18:10
S4: recently sold at auction $87,840.
18:16
S5: We've known Charizard has a lot of value, Matt. Ever
18:19
S5: since we traded a Charizard Pokemon card for a Mazda 626. Um,
18:24
S5: but we did.
18:25
S4: We did do that.
18:26
S5: The Pokemon fans came out for the auction. It was
18:29
S5: a golden auction house in New York, and it described
18:32
S5: the item as a three inch long Flamin Hot Cheeto
18:35
S5: in the shape of the Pokemon Charizard, affixed to a
18:37
S5: customized Pokemon card and encapsulated in a clear card storage box. Now,
18:42
S5: I think this did increase the value a little bit.
18:44
S5: You don't just get a raw chip, okay?
18:46
S4: A raw no, no one just walks over it, reaches
18:48
S4: into a packet and then, you know, puts you it
18:50
S4: says put your hand out. And then you have to
18:53
S4: just take home a chip in your hand that's worth $87,000.
18:56
S4: It was very well protected.
18:57
S5: So cleverly, the person selling the hot Charizard Cheeto came
19:01
S5: up with a card that surrounds it that says Cheeto.
19:04
S5: Zade gave it 120 hit points. Put it in this box.
19:09
S5: It's marketing 101. You don't sell the steak, you sell
19:12
S5: the sizzle. And they have absolutely flamed this one up
19:18
S5: into a talking point and have made bank off it.
19:22
S4: There were 60 bidders. Um, you know, you can see
19:26
S4: the bid history. It took approximately two weeks, starting at $250.
19:33
S4: Right at 11 a.m. on February the 11th. And it
19:36
S4: just went up slowly, slowly, slowly, suddenly, a week, ten
19:40
S4: days later, it's $2,000, then another ten days later, it's 10,000.
19:44
S4: And then once you hit, once, people start bidding in
19:47
S4: the tens of thousands. Yeah, it just went up and
19:50
S4: up and up. The winning bid was $72,000, but they
19:54
S4: also have to pay a buyer's premium as well. Um,
19:59
S4: which took it to an extra $15,000. So there you
20:03
S4: have it. That was. Imagine getting whopped with that.
20:08
S5: Put it on a shelf. They're just going to put
20:10
S5: it on a shelf, and people will walk in and
20:12
S5: go check this out and have a look at it.
20:14
S5: So the Cheetos are and they'll go huh. Pretty cool.
20:17
S5: That's it.
20:17
S4: I mean, don't charizard's, like, burn things because that has
20:21
S4: certainly burnt through someone's well-earned cash very, very quickly.
20:26
S5: It is a good reminder to keep your eyes on
20:29
S5: your nugs. Cheetos. Chippies. Um, toast. Any sort of processed food.
20:35
S5: The toast. Oh, Jesus. And a cheese sandwich. I tell
20:37
S5: you what, that that was a big. That was one
20:39
S5: of the first original food looking like something. Sales. So
20:44
S5: just keep stay vigilant, keep your eyes peeled, and hopefully
20:48
S5: you'll be in for a big windfall very soon. Hey,
20:51
S5: we've got to wrap this bad boy up. Thank you
20:52
S5: so much for hanging out with us today on all
20:54
S5: day Breakfast.
20:55
S4: And if you happen to see any crazy characters or
20:59
S4: faces in your food over the next, you know, day
21:01
S4: or two, send it to us at Matt and Alex,
21:03
S4: we desperately want to receive these.
21:05
S5: And we will catch you for another large episode of
21:08
S5: Matt and Alex tomorrow.
21:09
S4: Bye bye.
21:09
S2: That's it. The all day breakfast kitchen is closed. Got
21:12
S2: something to add to the show? Slide into our DMs
21:15
S2: at Matt and Alex.