Latest / Movie Meltdown / No Skin Will Be Eaten (Promo)

Transcript

No Skin Will Be Eaten (Promo) · Movie Meltdown

• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Before i threaten people with this recent discovery no literally
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: a recent discovery i saw this like two days ago
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: in the for real world on vhs so tail sting
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: so it gets better hold on wait till we get
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: to the description Sometimes science goes seriously wrong.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Sometimes.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: Dr.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Jennifer Ryan never imagined that her genetically enhanced scorpions, never
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: imagined that her genetically enhanced scorpions would terrorize the formerly
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: friendly skies, in quotes.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Wait, what are they doing in the sky?
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: I'm tired of these motherfucking scorpions.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: The formerly friendly skies when her creations break out of
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: their cryogenic jails.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: And begin whipping deadly stingers into their victims. Do you
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: want to hear more? There's even more.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: I don't think that's how scorpions work.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Jennifer.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Dr.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Ryan must organize a battle against the ravenous monsters and
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: guide the crippled planes safely to LAX. The voracious killers
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: with a vicious queen as their leader wage a bloody
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: war against the humans where only the strongest will survive.
• 1:36
  Speaker 5: I feel like the copywriter of that description should have
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: mentioned in the beginning that they were on planes. Because
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: I'm picturing scorpions flying on their own.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: How could she never imagine that her genetically modified scorpions
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: would cause an issue?
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: Finishes up with, what? See who prevails in this must-see
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: terror trip.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Tail sting.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: That's way too long.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Is it must-see?
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: That's why I said, do you want me to continue?
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Because there's more. That was the entire back of the
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: video box.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: What year was this unleashed on an unsuspecting world?
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: After they made planes. I'm guessing.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know.
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: I would think a scorpion in a hot air balloon
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: would be quite terrifying.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Genetically modified or not.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: But then you could just fling him out.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Actually, a little more disturbing because I was hoping it
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: was like 70s, you know, coming off the airport run, but.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: No, 2001.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is almost more like a bad straight to DVD.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Pre-Snakes on a Plane, though, right? Yeah, I guess. Well.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: Maybe.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: I think so.
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: Damn it. Stupid looking stuff up. Snakes on a Plane
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: was probably.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Like, I'm going to say 2006. I want to say
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: you're right.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: That's going to be my guess.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: If I'm right, that would be insane.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Snakes on a plane. 2006, well done. Oh, shit.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: You get bonus points. I don't know how you cash
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: those in.
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: I'm not mad at the snakes on a plane people
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: for ripping off.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: What was it?
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Scorpion tails. Tails of a scorpion. That makes more sense.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: But I would be upset with the scorpion people for
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: ripping off snakes.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: On a plane, and I don't know why.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, it seems like there would... I mean,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: there have to be. I don't think I've dug into it, thankfully. But,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, there had to be your bad straight-to-DVD knockoffs
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: of Snakes on a Plane. I feel like I may
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: have even seen a few of them over the years,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: but I blocked out the titles, thankfully.
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: So feel free to Google those yourself.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: But, yeah, I feel like there was a lot of
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: those transmorphers versions of Snakes on a Plane somewhere that
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I have not sought out.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Why would you bring multiple scorpions?
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you got to have at least a
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: six pack, right? I mean, you show up with one
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: and then everybody's going to want a scorpion. So you
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: got to have at least a six pack, but probably
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: like a full case, you know, if you're going to
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: have a party. You need a good 24 scorpions roaming around.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Well, why are you genetically modifying scorpions?
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a lot of questions.
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: To be more deadly, obviously.
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: I have a lot of questions, but I don't feel
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: like watching the movie to find out.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: No.
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: Now, if it comes up on the magic die list,
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: I will watch it as part of my team spirit.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: Your curse.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: The curse.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, anytime I genetically modify something, it's to make
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: it more deadly.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Let's just say.
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and I think that's why you fail at it,
• 4:40
  Speaker 5: because you're trying.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: It almost just kills me, so I just keep getting
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: deaded every time, and then I.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: Have to revive myself, and it's a whole thing.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Anyway, science.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: This is why science is bad. It's why we should
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: defund all science.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Wait a minute.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: I didn't expect that's where you were going, but all right.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: We're heading in the right direction.
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Let's not go down that road so yeah yeah we
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: could be watching that but instead you're gonna give us
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: a better option is the question mark there otherwise you
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: have to hear us say horrible things like this should
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: be like from the Merv Griffin Studios on the Alex
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Trebek stage starring Ken Jennings it's wait what's the name
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: of this thing again.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Now if a chimpanzee or an orangutan.
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: Or any of the greater.
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: Or lesser apes yeah if any of those creatures were
• 5:43
  Speaker 5: to get a cell phone and take a selfie.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I'd be impressed that would be newsworthy refer to it
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: properly an octopus that's what I want to.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: See that would be impressive as well.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: I have to tell you, had.
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: I witnessed this as a double feature in the theater,
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: I would have been so confused.
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you'd be like, where are those hippie kids? Are
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: they getting eaten? Wait, nobody's getting eaten.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: What the hell's going on? I get that.
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: Double features don't have to be a continuation of each other,
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: but the titles are so similar, and one of them
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: is 20 years older.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: Than the other one.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: It's like spooky, atmospheric, witch. We know I love witches.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: You hate those movies.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: Irish folklore, mystery solving, bad men get comeuppance.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: Are we playing Password?
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: It's very good. I loved it.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Speaking of game shows.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: There's a ghost dog.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Not to spoil things, but I mean, it just sort
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: of comes into play that there was a previous dog in.
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: That location and Indy kind of interacts.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: With this dog.
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: So it's, yeah, it's kind of awesome. And I was like,
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: this is cool. I'm okay with that because it already
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: happened a while ago.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: So, but.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Indy's okay. Let's put you in a movie.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: This goofy cat we've got here that hangs out and
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: does weird things every episode.
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: You can just follow him around with a camera.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: It'll just be him sitting and staring at the food robot.
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: Waiting to be fed again because you never feed him.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: He told us when we got here. He's like, please
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: give me food.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: She never feeds me.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: Starving.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: You might enjoy because it does contain a witch who
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: eats children.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Yay.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: And disguises herself as other people and then eats the children.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: And then when she eats the children, the people connected
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: to the children die. forget that they ever existed in
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: the first place.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Well, that's convenient, actually. Then you don't have to be upset.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: And it actually has a twist that was.
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: Kind of, you know, as far as twists go, which
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: I'm not a big fan of anyway, but they actually
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: set it up to where it's like, oh, I did
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: not see that twist coming, but it kind of works.
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: Many years ago, we drank their blood, but now we're
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: back to eat their skin. Which do you want to address.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: It right now?
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Which part?
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: The fact that there's no skin.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, there is. There is a considerable lack of skin.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: No one eats any skin. I eat your skin.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: What the hell?
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: There was blood drinking and I drink your blood.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I remember.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: I saw it.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, weren't they drinking blood here? They were definitely
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: flinging it around on people. So I'm sure some got
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: in their mouth.
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: But I didn't see anybody eating any damn skin.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Nobody was eating any skin. Lies.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: This movie is full of lies.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I don't think anybody ate anything in this movie. There
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: was a lot of booze being consumed.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: He said he had breakfast that next day.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: He did say he had breakfast.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: There was drinking coffee and a lot of booze, but yeah.
• 8:53
  Speaker 5: His breakfast could have been six martinis for all we know.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: Or a person omelet.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Maybe that was the skin eaten and we just was
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: not on screen. He did it earlier that morning with breakfast.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: don't think you get quite as much in the movie
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: so maybe it's well more octopus the entire thing is
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: inside an octopus's mind that's that's a little more yeah
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: i think you got to take some acid before you
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: watch that.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah He's trying to like bring tourists to the town. Meanwhile,
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: this ancient hundreds of year old curse has awakened. So
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: he's like trying to bring people in and kind of
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: squash all these things that are happening while also dealing
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: with it.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I'm watching this and he is just, just, there's such
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: glee in his filmmaking when he's just pummeling his lead.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: And it used to always be Bruce, but now he
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: finds other people and he's just like, who else can
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I pour goo on and like make do disgusting things?
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: It was really strange, but it was so good, which
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: is how she. described that movie are charming about things
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: that are not Charming.
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: Not charming at all.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: You remember the days.
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: When you used to go down to the pool and
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: tell dirty stories to strange women and they would kiss
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: you for it?
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: They would gather around and be super impressed and keep
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: stroking their hand on you for some reason?
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: It's just like petting him like he's a dog.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: He's not a good boy. I know, Indy.
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: A lot of terrible things in that opening sequence, but man,
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: I love the 60s because of it.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: I just had like a voodoo shimmying... Bikini ritual.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: Dance party.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Oh, goat sacrifice.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: No.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I got way to go later.
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: I specifically made a note.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I just brought my goat here to see the dancing
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: is how I saw it. The goat just likes to
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: watch dancing.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I got it.
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: And then he sat him down so he could get
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: a good view.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: And that's all that happened. Because really, he was right
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: next to the girl. He might have been killing the girl.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: I got a goat sacrifice, but it was 45 minutes later.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's later. Yeah, there's another one.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: So you got two.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: You got two.
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: You missed out on extra goat sacrifices.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: God damn it.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: Although I still think it.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Was the girl.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: It all sounded like when you're in middle school. Like
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: the lowest effort boy in your class.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Why'd you glance at me when you said that? I
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: took Spanish.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Because I had to stand up and read your little
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: paper that you wrote for us right now.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I took Spanish.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: In Spanish. Muy importante.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: Seriosely.
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: And we haven't even gotten to the eyeball zombies yet.
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: I've seen worse makeup on better movies. Especially from that
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: time period.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: The stone walls that were supposed to look like a
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: castle or something.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: It was clearly.
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: Plywood that they had sprinkled sand and then drawn lines on.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: I'm like, this isn't even a high school production. This
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: is like grade school.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Because high school get pretty good budgets these days. This
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: is like your sixth grade got together and were like, okay, um...
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: We need to have a castle or something so they
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: get some cardboard and they draw all the stones and
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: they glue some sand on there.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: And they're like, look, my.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Mom's going to be so proud when she sees this.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: Look what I built. But as the movie.
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: Went on, I was like, no, they put effort into this.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: Not that much.
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: No, they put a lot of effort into a really
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: bad effect.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: Like, that's our thing, man.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: We obviously know better.
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: Do you not know our reputation?
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: And it looked like the guys milking the snakes were
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: definitely the same actors, which makes me wonder, did they
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: hire snake professionals for this movie?
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Or were those guys just winging it?
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Speaking of explosives, I also like This plan to
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: get rid of the plane is take a zombie, have
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: him hold explosives, and then just walk towards the plane.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: And then the better plan is I'm going to shoot
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: at that guy holding a box.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: Clearly marked explosives.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Coming towards me, I'm going to fire a gun at it.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Her dad says, he's like, get her out of here.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: And he says, there's nothing anyone can do. And it's like,
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: You stop doing... Yeah. Stop injecting people with the thing
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: that turns them into zombies.
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: Is this after... Because he smacked her good.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: He's like, wow.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: I think so, yeah.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: You know that's your daughter, right?
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Jeez.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: There's nothing anyone can do. Bitch, you did this.
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: You are the one doing it, actually. And alarms that
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure were just somebody going.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: Pretty sure it was just a person.
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: Well i did like the the soundtrack when they were
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: in the lab with all the stuff.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: It's like that's how you know it's science doing science.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Taking screwdrivers inserting them in things turning them.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: Science god this was the best movie it really.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Was pretty fun i gotta say yeah So go to MovieMeltdown.com,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: join the Horror Club. It's right there, the top right-hand side.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I redid things the other day.
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: It is still right there, top right-hand side.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: Of the screen.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: And you can join the Meltdown Horror Club, and you
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: can be part of all of this fun and or
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: scorpions who may or may not kill you.
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: Shenanigans will be part of your life if you join.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: We do have a lot of shenanigans.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of shenanigans.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Most places you go, I would say shenanigans.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: They follow me.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Well, shenanigans and wackiness.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. As you pull me close, grab me and
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: you'll see.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. You're electrical.
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: Oh, I'm gonna listen to the show. As your flatter
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: talk shivers down my spine, I hear the Holy One
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: exposing all the lies.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Lord, forgive me.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: I know my flesh needs a dime.