Latest / The Difficult Boss Podcast with Fexingo: Managing Up, Toxic Managers, and Workplace Survival / The Manager's Dilemma of Overworking Star Performers
Transcript
- Lucas: I have been thinking a lot about what I call the 'reliability tax.' You know the one. It happens when you are so good at solving problems that your boss starts to view your availability as infinite. It is not malicious on their part, usually. It is just efficient. If you never miss a deadline and you never complain, the path of least resistance for any new crisis is to dump it on you. Luna: Right, because you become a known quantity. With everyone else, there is risk. With you, there is certainty. And in management, certainty is often valued higher than fairness. Lucas: Exactly. But here is the twist we want to look at today. It is not just about the individual burning out. It is about the systemic damage this does to the team. When the star performer is constantly firefighting, she has no time to build systems, train juniors, or think strategically. She becomes a bottleneck, not because she is weak, but because she is too strong in the wrong context. Luna: So the manager gets short-term relief but long-term fragility. They trade sustainability for speed. Lucas: Precisely. And we see this play out in industries where output is easily measured. Sales teams, engineering squads, consulting firms. If you deliver, you get more work. The incentive structure rewards overperformance until it breaks the person. I looked at a case last week involving a senior product manager at a mid-sized fintech startup. She was handling three projects instead of two because the third one kept failing without her. Her manager kept saying, 'Just hold it together for a few weeks,' until those weeks turned into months. Luna: That sounds exhausting. Did she speak up? Lucas: She did, but her manager framed it as a leadership test. He said, 'If you can't handle this volume, maybe this level isn't right for you.' So she doubled down, worked weekends, and eventually had a panic attack before a board presentation. She quit. And now that manager is doing the same thing to the next senior hire. Luna: It is a vicious cycle. The manager learns nothing because the system protects them from seeing the cost. Lucas: Before we dig deeper into how to fix this dynamic, I want to mention something quick. If we've helped you think through a career move or decision, we deliberately don't run ads on these. If you want to support that choice, the link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo — that's F. E. X. I. N. G. O. Thanks for keeping this independent. Luna: Yeah, it really helps us keep the focus on the actual human dynamics rather than selling you something. Lucas: Let's go back to that fintech example. The core issue here is that the manager lacks the discipline to say no to his own ambition. He wants the project done, so he takes the path of least resistance. He doesn't realize that by enabling the star performer's overwork, he is actively undermining the team's resilience. It is a classic case of managerial myopia. Luna: But how do you measure that? If the project ships, the manager looks like a hero. The hidden cost is invisible. Lucas: It is invisible until it isn't. And when it isn't, it is catastrophic. The star leaves, the knowledge walks out the door, and the junior staff who were supposed to learn from her are left with impossible standards. They either try to emulate the burnout or they disengage. Either way, the manager loses. But he only sees the immediate win. Luna: So the problem is partly structural. The metrics reward delivery, not durability. Lucas: Absolutely. Most performance reviews measure output, not sustainability. If you ship four features instead of two, you get a raise. Nobody asks if you did it by sacrificing your health or ignoring the technical debt that will cause fires next quarter. We need to shift the conversation toward sustainable velocity. Luna: That sounds nice in theory, but in practice, managers are under pressure from above. If their boss is pushing for growth, they push their team. Where does the buck stop? Lucas: It stops with the manager's ability to create friction. This is counterintuitive, I know. We usually think of efficiency as removing friction. But for high performers, you need to add friction. You need to make it slightly inconvenient to pull them into every crisis. You need to protect their deep work time. Luna: How do you actually do that? Do you just tell them to be less available? Lucas: No, you institutionalize it. You implement policies like 'no-meeting Wednesdays' or 'deep work blocks' that even the star performer cannot opt out of. You make it clear that availability is not a virtue. In fact, excessive availability can be a sign of poor prioritization. If you are always responding, you are not thinking. Luna: That would feel weird at first. People would think you are being difficult. Lucas: Initially, yes. But once the team sees that the best ideas come from protected time, the culture shifts. You have to model this behavior yourself. If the manager is answering emails at ten at night, everyone else will too. You have to show that boundaries are respected. Luna: What about the high performer who thrives on chaos? Some people genuinely love the adrenaline of crisis management. Lucas: Those are rare. And even they burn out. The physiology of constant stress is not sustainable. Cortisol levels don't reset. I think most people who appear to thrive on chaos are actually just addicted to the dopamine hit of resolution. But that is a shallow form of satisfaction compared to the deep satisfaction of building something lasting. Luna: So the goal is to help them find that deeper satisfaction. To redirect their energy. Lucas: Exactly. You need to give them harder, longer-term problems. Not more urgent ones. Urgency is cheap. Long-term impact is expensive. It requires patience, collaboration, and strategic thinking. Those are the skills that actually move the needle for a career. Luna: But managers are lazy. They prefer urgency because it feels like progress. Lucas: They are lazy, yes. And that is why you, as the employee, have to manage up. You have to push back. You have to say, 'I can take this on, but I will have to drop this other priority. Which one matters more?' Force the manager to make the trade-off. Make them own the consequence. Luna: That requires a lot of confidence. Especially if you are worried about your job security. Lucas: It does. But consider this: if you are the one holding everything together, you are actually more valuable. The risk is not that you will be fired for setting boundaries. The risk is that you will be fired for burning out and leaving them stranded. Your leverage is your indispensability. Use it wisely. Luna: So the paradox is that by making yourself less available, you make yourself more essential. Lucas: Precisely. Because you force the organization to develop redundancy. You force the team to step up. You force the manager to delegate properly. It is uncomfortable, but it is necessary for any mature organization. Luna: What if the manager just says no? What if they fire you for not being a team player? Lucas: Then you leave. Because that is not a manager you want to work for. That is a leader who values obedience over effectiveness. And you will only end up working for another one like him. Better to cut your losses early. Luna: Harsh, but true. It is better to be unemployed for a month than stuck in a toxic loop for a year. Lucas: Right. And remember, your reputation travels. If you leave because you were overworked and undervalued, the market knows. They will hire you for your skills, not your willingness to suffer. Luna: So the key takeaway is to protect your time aggressively. To treat it as a finite resource. Lucas: Yes. Time is the only currency you cannot earn back. Money you can earn. Opportunities you can rebuild. But time, once spent on low-value firefighting, is gone forever. Guard it. Luna: And encourage your managers to do the same. Remind them that sustainable pace wins the race. Lucas: Always. The tortoise might not win every sprint, but the hare who never sleeps dies young. We need to design careers that last decades, not quarters. Luna: Do you think companies are starting to realize this, or are we still stuck in the hustle culture mindset? Lucas: Some are. Especially in tech, where turnover is so expensive. But many are lagging. They are still measuring productivity by hours logged or tickets closed. It is a legacy metric. We need to update our operating systems for work. Luna: Updating the software, but not the hardware. Got it. Lucas: Exactly. The hardware is our brains and bodies. They have limits. The software is our processes. Those can be rewritten. We have to rewrite them to fit the hardware. Luna: One final question. For someone listening who is currently drowning in work, what is the very first step they should take tomorrow? Lucas: Schedule one hour of blocked time. Mark it as busy. Do not let anyone book over it. Use that hour to work on something that matters to your long-term goals, not your daily inbox. Just one hour. Start small. Luna: Simple, but powerful. Protecting an hour of your day is a declaration of self-worth. Lucas: It is. And it sends a signal to your manager that you are serious about quality, not just quantity. See where that takes you.