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Best of The Ben Maller Show · The Ben Maller Show

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  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the best of the Ben Maller
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Show podcast. Be sure to catch us live every weeknight
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  Speaker 1: from 2 to 6 Eastern, 11 p.m. to 3 a.m.
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  Speaker 1: Pacific on Fox Sports Radio. And to find your local
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: station for the Ben Maller Show at foxsportsradio.com. You can
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: find it there or stream us live every night on
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app by searching FSR.
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  Speaker 2: This is the best of the Ben Maller Show on
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  Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio.
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  Speaker 1: From rainy Baltimore. And that was the playground for the
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  Speaker 1: kickoff of NFL week number nine as Trevor Lawrence and
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  Speaker 1: the Jaguars were on the prowl visiting the state of
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  Speaker 1: Maryland where they have really good cake to take on
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  Speaker 1: the weather-beaten Ravens on that rainy night there. Not cold,
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  Speaker 1: but rainy. Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreit, along with Dog Peter,
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  Speaker 1: the doggy, they had the call on Amazon. So I'm
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  Speaker 1: not sure if you watched. Chances are you didn't watch.
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  Speaker 1: Perhaps you missed it. Don't worry. It's our public service here,
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  Speaker 1: our good mitzvah of the day. We watched so you
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  Speaker 1: would not have to. And what did we see? Well,
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  Speaker 1: we saw Trevor Lawrence, who had 242 yards and a touchdown, Jacksonville.
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  Speaker 1: Barely worked up a sweat. They got wet from the rain.
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  Speaker 1: They didn't get wet from a sweat. And Joe Fagnano.
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  Speaker 1: Got to make sure I say that properly. That would
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  Speaker 1: be an FCC violation, much like a cigarette in Europe.
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  Speaker 1: But Joe Fagnano and Baltimore get mollywhopped 33-10. Your final,
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  Speaker 1: the Ravens drop under. 500. They have now lost. 400.
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  Speaker 1: I didn't play in the NFL. I am told that
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  Speaker 1: is not good when you've lost four straight games. The
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  Speaker 1: better story, though, is in the losing locker room. And
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  Speaker 1: so let's discuss a good jumping off point. And here
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  Speaker 1: we go. Here we go. Now, before we get into it,
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  Speaker 1: let's hear from the head coach of the Baltimore football team.
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  Speaker 1: which is apparently a gentleman named Jesse Minter. You don't
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  Speaker 1: need to learn that name. I don't think he'll be
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  Speaker 1: there all that long. But here is Jesse Minter, the coach,
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  Speaker 1: pointing out this was a forgettable night of football for
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  Speaker 1: his team. There's no whatever.
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  Speaker 3: We don't have this guy. We don't have that guy.
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  Speaker 3: We've got to make a decision again over this break.
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  Speaker 3: Got a little bit of a break for the guys
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  Speaker 3: to kind of mentally reset and come back and seek
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  Speaker 3: improvement really in all three phases.
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  Speaker 1: That's That's what we'll be after.
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  Speaker 3: Credit to our guys for fighting, but that's obviously a
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  Speaker 3: bare minimum.
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  Speaker 1: You always have to work some kind of credit in.
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  Speaker 1: There was nothing positive to take away from this game. Nothing. Zero. Zippo. Bupkis.
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  Speaker 1: But you can't say that as a coach. You go, oh,
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  Speaker 1: I've got to give him credit for fighting. Dude, you
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  Speaker 1: just lost by 23 points at home. All right, let's
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  Speaker 1: get to the quarterback, though, because everyone loves quarterbacks. They're
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  Speaker 1: more important people. They make more money. They get better-looking
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  Speaker 1: women when they date. You know, that kind of thing.
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  Speaker 1: So here's the question. How did things go for the Ravens'
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  Speaker 1: undrafted rookie quarterback, Joe Fagnano, in his first NFL start?
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  Speaker 1: So I've got Barefoot Bandit, Jiffy Lube, and Filibuster. And
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  Speaker 1: we'll combine all of these things together, and we will
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  Speaker 1: outfox the competition. That's what we're going to do. So, A,
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  Speaker 1: the sports media, which I am not part of the mainstream.
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  Speaker 1: I'm on overnight. Mainstream, 6 a.m., 6 p.m. That's mainstream.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not part of that. I'm an occult here at night.
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  Speaker 1: The mainstream sports media really wanted a fairy tale. Cinderella
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  Speaker 1: showing up to the ball. Oh, Cinderella. Yeah. When Jacksonville
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  Speaker 1: apparently decided they were going to commit some crimes, they
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  Speaker 1: stole the glass slipper. They smashed the pumpkin with a
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  Speaker 1: baseball bat and repossessed the carriage. That's the modern-day Cinderella.
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  Speaker 1: That's it. You could practically hear the production truck at
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  Speaker 1: Amazon and Al Michaels and Herbie trying to get a
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  Speaker 1: hold of Disney to get the rights to the Cinderella story.
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  Speaker 1: That first quarter was a one-score game. It was 10-3
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  Speaker 1: at the end of the first quarter. They were trying
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  Speaker 1: to manufacture the next Kurt Warner. Unfortunately, nobody told the
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  Speaker 1: Jaguars they needed to cooperate. This was not David versus Goliath.
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  Speaker 1: This was David forgetting the slingshot and getting run over
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  Speaker 1: by a cement mixer. Where was that? I don't remember
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  Speaker 1: reading that in the David versus Goliath story. I don't
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  Speaker 1: recall a cement mixer being in there. What happened? So
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  Speaker 1: it turns out that the quarterback, Joe Fagnano, had 10
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  Speaker 1: completions for 60 yards. He had a 22.7 passer rating. Now,
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  Speaker 1: keep in mind, if you throw the ball into the
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  Speaker 1: ground every single snap, hut, hut, hike, take the ball,
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  Speaker 1: you go back, and then you spike the ball into
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  Speaker 1: the ground, you would have a 39.6 passer rating. So
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  Speaker 1: on this night, the dirt had a better passer rating
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  Speaker 1: than the Baltimore quarterback. And Fagnano... is not obviously an
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  Speaker 1: NFL quarterback, but he had an opportunity. It was a
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  Speaker 1: great opportunity. You talk about a brass ring opportunity to
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  Speaker 1: go out there, you get one shot, one chance to
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  Speaker 1: show that you know what you're doing and you deserve
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  Speaker 1: another opportunity. And it turns out he was a crash
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  Speaker 1: test dummy who happened to be wearing NFL merch. So
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  Speaker 1: forget about the glass slipper, as that did not happen.
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  Speaker 1: Fagnano was the barefoot bandit on this night. The Ravens
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  Speaker 1: quarterback running through a parking lot filled with broken beer bottles.
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  Speaker 1: In this case, also broken dreams. So it turns out
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  Speaker 1: that Fagnano is a 99 percenter, which there's nothing wrong
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  Speaker 1: with that, being a 99 percenter. Unfortunately, the NFL is
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  Speaker 1: where the one percenters eat the 99 percenters for breakfast,
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  Speaker 1: or in this case, a late snack. They had the munchies,
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  Speaker 1: is what they had. All right, meanwhile, on the Jacksonville side,
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  Speaker 1: turning the page, because we believe in truth in broadcasting.
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  Speaker 1: So on the Jacksonville side, the question, what is the word?
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  Speaker 1: What is the word for how Liam Cohn's Jaguars played
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  Speaker 1: on this particular Thursday night, the lid lifter for Week
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  Speaker 1: 9 in the NFL? So the word I wrote on
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  Speaker 1: my notes app on my phone was workmanlike. Workmanlike is
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  Speaker 1: the word that I wrote. Do you have a different word?
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  Speaker 1: I like my word, workman-like. I think that's a solid word.
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  Speaker 1: It's the proper word. I came up with the word.
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  Speaker 1: There were no circus tricks. There was not a lot
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  Speaker 1: of razzle-dazzle. This was less a football spectacle. This was
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  Speaker 1: not some kind of dramatic statement. You could not have
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  Speaker 1: a statement in this situation for Jacksonville. This was more
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  Speaker 1: of a routine oil change at Jiffy Lube. Like, you
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  Speaker 1: go in there, you show up, you get a couple
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  Speaker 1: of quarts of oil, and you move on with your day.
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  Speaker 1: And you go get something to drink or a donut
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  Speaker 1: or something like that. That's what you do. That's the
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  Speaker 1: move right there. That's it. And they did it. So
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  Speaker 1: we do give Liam Combs some credit, not too much,
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  Speaker 1: because you did what you're supposed to do. But I
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  Speaker 1: have seen so many times on the NFL, talking about
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  Speaker 1: the NFL, we've all seen it, teams that are supposed
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  Speaker 1: to show up and just win and get it done,
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  Speaker 1: and they F up. and they screw up, and the
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  Speaker 1: Rams lost to the Arizona Cardinals. The Cowboys have lost.
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  Speaker 1: I guess they're our bad team. That's not a good example.
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  Speaker 1: But Jacksonville, his team did not get cute. They didn't
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  Speaker 1: get fancy. There was not a lot of fancy. They
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  Speaker 1: handled their business. Jacksonville did not need to reinvent the
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  Speaker 1: football against Baltimore operating with a make-a-wish candidate at quarterback,
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  Speaker 1: the emergency quarterback. They showed up. And they punched the clock.
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  Speaker 1: They had their lunchbox, and they collected the win. And
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  Speaker 1: upward and onward, you're into the win column. Here's Trevor Lawrence,
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  Speaker 1: the Jacksonville quarterback, who was okay. He wasn't amazing. But
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  Speaker 1: here's Trevor Lawrence, and he's about to put some knee
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  Speaker 1: pads on for his head coach. He's great.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, he's relentless the way he prepares, just the
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  Speaker 4: way he thinks. I think he's a great leader for
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  Speaker 4: our team. Guys respond really well to how he leads.
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  Speaker 4: He's got a lot of energy, a lot of enthusiasm,
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  Speaker 4: brings the.
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  Speaker 1: Juice every day. Brings the juice. What kind of– is
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  Speaker 1: it orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice? Apple juice. Apple juice. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: there you go. Brings the apple juice. That's outstanding. There
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  Speaker 1: you go. So, again, my mantra– You don't get extra
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  Speaker 1: credit for doing what you're supposed to do. But the
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  Speaker 1: pigskin gods ordered some sprinkles cupcakes on Uber Eats. Femi,
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  Speaker 1: the Uber Eats driver, he actually drove all the way
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  Speaker 1: from Minnesota to Baltimore to deliver the sprinkles cupcakes. And
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  Speaker 1: the Jaguars had the good sense to not play with
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  Speaker 1: the cupcakes. They didn't futz around with the frosting. They
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  Speaker 1: didn't choke on anything. And that's it. You don't have
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  Speaker 1: to overcomplicate things against an overmatched opponent. The Ravens were
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  Speaker 1: shorthanded playing without a real quarterback. So Jacksonville, they didn't
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  Speaker 1: win the beauty pageant. They passed the quarterly performance review
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  Speaker 1: is what they did. Now, last word. We now go
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  Speaker 1: to the broadcast itself on the Amazon. So Jacksonville came in.
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  Speaker 1: There was not a lot of, to use the word
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  Speaker 1: Trevor Lawrence just used, juice. There was not a lot
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  Speaker 1: of excitement for this game. This was not a sexy matchup.
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  Speaker 1: Jacksonville's a the London team you know they're more of
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  Speaker 1: a London team than an American team and Baltimore has
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  Speaker 1: their fan base but they don't have a quarterback so
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  Speaker 1: Jacksonville was a 10-point road favorite very rare that you
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  Speaker 1: will see a 10-point road favorite in the NFL and
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  Speaker 1: they went out and they manhandled The Ravens, as we've
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  Speaker 1: talked about here, as anticipated. The question, how did Al
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  Speaker 1: Michaels and company handle the blowout game over there on Amazon?
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  Speaker 1: So they emptied the cannons is what they did. Now,
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  Speaker 1: I kept the game on because there's really nothing else
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  Speaker 1: to watch. So I had the game on and I was,
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  Speaker 1: you know, was I as engaged as I had been? No,
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  Speaker 1: but I had the game on. I had the audio on.
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  Speaker 1: And that's a tribute to Al Michaels that. When Doris
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  Speaker 1: Burke's doing a game, I hit the mute button. I
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  Speaker 1: don't listen. But when Al Michaels does a game, I
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  Speaker 1: want to hear what he has to say. I want
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  Speaker 1: to hear what he has to say. So I kept
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  Speaker 1: the TV on. By the fourth quarter, the ammunition depot
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  Speaker 1: was bone dry, even though it was raining. There was
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  Speaker 1: no artillery remaining. Al Michaels and Kirk Curbstreet and that
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  Speaker 1: production crew had gone from NFL broadcasting to the spam special.
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  Speaker 1: You had the mystery meat off to the right. You
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  Speaker 1: had some reheated leftovers off to the left, and whatever
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  Speaker 1: else you could scrape out of the back of the
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  Speaker 1: refrigerator that didn't have mold on it. They were even
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: going into the freezer, and they were taking some bag
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  Speaker 1: of potato, like some fries they had in the freezer,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: and they had freezer burn, and they were going to
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  Speaker 1: cook that as well. That's how bad it was. And
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  Speaker 1: so they had started the night as the three musketeers
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  Speaker 1: trying to turn the Joe Fagnano into the great Cinderella,
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  Speaker 1: as we talked about, the Cinderella story. Of course, that
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  Speaker 1: only worked for about a quarter and a half. And
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  Speaker 1: then by the fourth quarter, by the fourth quarter, they
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  Speaker 1: were rummaging through the NFL attic. And Al Michaels told
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  Speaker 1: a Tom Coughlin car dealership story about how he ended
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  Speaker 1: up coaching Jacksonville when he was in Boston College and
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  Speaker 1: this whole thing about caller ID and Tom Coughlin thought
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  Speaker 1: the person calling was talking about a Jaguar car, not
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  Speaker 1: a football team because that was an expansion team and whatnot.
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  Speaker 1: And then they even discussed the Duluth Eskimos, which I
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  Speaker 1: believe I saw a photo, and it looked like Curmudgeon
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  Speaker 1: Wayne was playing for the Duluth Eskimos. the guy that
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  Speaker 1: hides behind his social media account there. But they were
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  Speaker 1: so excited about a helmetless Duluth Eskimo, which was like
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  Speaker 1: an early NFL team before the NFL went corporate and
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  Speaker 1: all that years ago. They also spent a lot of
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  Speaker 1: time explaining how Joe Fagnano brought his playbook on his honeymoon.
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  Speaker 1: They made sure to show his pride on TV quite
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  Speaker 1: a bit. I don't know if that counts as the
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  Speaker 1: honey shot. I mean, she was all right, but I
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  Speaker 1: don't think that was the honey shot. Al Michaels was...
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  Speaker 1: essentially communicating with the ghosts of football past. Good old
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  Speaker 1: Al there because the football president had flatlined. They were
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  Speaker 1: conducting a three-hour filibuster is what they were doing. And
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  Speaker 1: much like in D.C., the filibuster. At that point, the
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  Speaker 1: only thing missing, they didn't discuss UFOs landing. That would
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  Speaker 1: have been really cool if some goblins had landed at
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  Speaker 1: the 45-yard line right at midfield there, and then abducted
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  Speaker 1: Kirk Herbstreet. Wouldn't that have been great? That would have
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  Speaker 1: been our lead, by the way. I'd like to let
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  Speaker 1: you know that would have been our lead. If the
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  Speaker 1: aliens had come down, the lizard people, and they had
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  Speaker 1: abducted Kirk Herbstreet and his dog Peter, that would have
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  Speaker 1: been the story that we started with. But we didn't
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  Speaker 1: start with that because it didn't happen. And I think
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  Speaker 1: next Thursday, if there's another bad game, Amazon will be
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  Speaker 1: providing exclusive footage of Kirk Herbstreet's third-grade spelling bee. which
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  Speaker 1: is going to be very exciting for those people that
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  Speaker 1: watch the entire game. But Jacksonville is set up. They
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  Speaker 1: are sitting pretty right now as they are racking up wins. One, two, three, four, five, six.
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  Speaker 1: Who do we appreciate? Six wins, two losses. They got
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  Speaker 1: Cupcake City up ahead. They got Tennessee, a mid-level Giants team,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: and you've got the Titans again. You're looking at getting
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  Speaker 1: at the very minimum to eight wins after week 12,
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  Speaker 1: most likely nine. The Giants, I know that game's in Jersey.
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  Speaker 1: The Giants aren't great. They're okay. They're not amazing. Oh, J.J.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: McCarthy's God's gift to football. Okay, we'll see about that.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: We'll see about that wise guy.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific on
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: Welcome to Football Doesn't Lie.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Bill Parcells.
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: And I'm Catherine Zazzora.
• 15:01
  Speaker 6: I have a lot of experience in the game of football, Catherine.
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: And I'm learning the game with Bill's help. Every week,
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: we're going to talk about the NFL slate through the
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: lens of Bill's expertise as he coaches me from novice
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: fan to football expert over the course of the season.
• 15:16
  Speaker 6: You know, I'm looking forward to this show, Catherine, and
• 15:18
  Speaker 6: hopefully we can give our audience a little in-depth look
• 15:22
  Speaker 6: into the inner sanctum of pro football that they can't
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: get anywhere else.
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: Tune in every Thursday for unfiltered stories from Coach Parcells,
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: analysis on the state of the modern game, and education
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: on how football really works.
• 15:35
  Speaker 7: Continuity is very important but what happens when you get
• 15:39
  Speaker 7: good coaches on your staff and people begin to recognize
• 15:43
  Speaker 7: them then they want to hire them and then you
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: can't stop a guy from trying to improve himself but
• 15:49
  Speaker 7: you have to replace.
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: Them Because once you understand what's going on inside the
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: mind of the coaches, you'll understand more about the whole game.
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: So all aspects can be discussed. The only thing I
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: haven't done, because I didn't have enough money, I don't
• 16:03
  Speaker 6: own the team. I never owned a team.
• 16:06
  Speaker 5: Listen to Football Doesn't Lie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: or wherever you get your podcasts.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: From Kansas City, the home of the Ben Maller Chicken Fingers,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: in Liberty, Missouri, the landing there in Liberty. It's also
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: the home of Rashi Rice. I don't know that he'll
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: be able to afford buying the Ben Mather chicken fingers
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: for a while. The wide receiver for the Chiefs has
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. He claims that there's $ 3. 4
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: million in debt, and he just has $ 677, 000 in assets left.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: The math ain't mathing. So if you saw this, you
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: might know what I'm talking about. Perhaps not. Maybe you
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: saw it and didn't really read into it, didn't dig
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: into it. And we're loud and proud over here. We
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: don't mind that. So we are told that much of
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: the financial wreckage stems from that now infamous 2024 Dallas
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: event where he remade Fast and the Furious. Remember, they
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: got in an accident. People got hurt. And then he
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: just walked off the highway. Yeah, well, you know what
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: didn't walk off the highway? The lawsuits. All those billboard
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: lawyers licking their chops, and Rice reportedly pledged his Super
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Bowl ring, his Chiefs Super Bowl ring as collateral to
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: pay for his attorneys. If you're curious, a Chiefs Super
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Bowl ring by Rashi Rice estimated value $ 160, 000 for that trinket.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: that sits in a safety deposit box, $ 160, 000. Now, with
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: felony convictions, jail time, NFL suspensions, you got free agency
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: on the horizon. Rashi Rice has got a lot of issues.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of things going on that continue to
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: overshadow himself as a football player. And this continues to
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: be the way it is. That's a good jumping off point.
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  Speaker 1: Let us discuss the question. Do you have compassion for
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: the Chiefs wide receiver, Rashi Rice, that he has filed
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: for bankruptcy at such a young age? He's already had
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: to file for bankruptcy. So I've got Beanie Babies, Where's
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Waldo and United Nations. And we'll combine all of these
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: things together. We're going to mix and match them together.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: And we'll do that since you're in earshot right now. Now,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: to lead off, the Malheur Compassion Meter. We just checked
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: the Malheur Compassion Meter. It's running on empty. The needle,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: in fact, is buried below E. That's not good. We've
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: got more empathy for the guy who bought a timeshare
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: in Death Valley. There's more empathy for that guy. What
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: kind of financial advice... was Rashi Rice getting— and forget just
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: financial advice, just like life advice. Like, hey, dude, maybe
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: don't do Speed Racer stuff in and out of traffic
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: on the highway. Maybe you shouldn't do it. Yeah, maybe
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: you shouldn't do that. Was his accountant, by the way,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: a magic eight ball? Did he talk to the magic
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: eight ball to try to figure out what was going on?
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: His financial portfolio— has more red flags than what? It's
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: got more red flags than a NASCAR race under caution. Boogity, boogity, boogity,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: as Random Ryan in Carolina says. Rice didn't get here
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: because the stock market crashed. He didn't get here because
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: he invested all of his money in Beanie Babies. As
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: far as I know, there was no major investment into
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Beanie Babies. His own decisions played a major role. And again,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I go back to Speed Racer around the highways and
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: byways in the greater metropolitan Dallas area there and play
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: stupid games. Generally speaking, you win stupid prizes. Filing for bankruptcy. Now,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: it does not, from what I read, it does not
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: automatically eliminate every debt, particularly the liabilities arising from willful
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: and malicious injury, I believe is the legal bull crap.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: That's the phrase. They actually use the word bull crap.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: That was my word. They didn't use the word bull crap.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: But willful and malicious injury. That's the jargon. So Rice
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: has gone from Super Bowl champion in Kansas City to
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: a pawn shop with his Super Bowl ring. Not ideal.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Not ideal. That Super Bowl ring was supposed to be
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: a family heirloom. Passed for future generations and not something
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: that you put up for collateral to make sure your
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: lawyers are happy. Here we are, though. Rice has demonstrated
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: a remarkable ability. to outrun defensive backs. Unfortunately, he has
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: not been nearly as successful to outrun his financial obligations. And,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: of course, this is not like the guy that's got
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: the regular job that goes bankrupt. Rashi Rice, assuming he
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: does not completely fall off the wagon, will have at
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: least three, four more years in the NFL, which means
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: he's going to make a lot of money. as an
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: NFL player, even the poorest NFL players, what we used
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: to call rich when I was a kid. So you're
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: going to make a lot of money, and it's not
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: like the guy at the factory that has no way
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: to get any real money. It's not that guy. All right, now, meanwhile,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: to La La Land we go. We stay in the
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: AFC West where the Chargers have made a move with
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Mike McDaniel. You knew it was coming. It has now happened.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: If you have not heard, big news out of L.A.,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Jim Harbaugh, not a softie anymore. The Chargers offensive coordinator,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Mike McDaniel, is heading upstairs. Yeah, he's going to call
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: the game from the press box. This is the Chargers solution.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: This is it. They've decided, Mike McDaniel, we're going to
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: put you in the coach's booth on level seven at SoFi.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: And hopefully that'll jumpstart the just absolute dreadful piecemeal offense.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: The Chargers have as many wins as you do and
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: are averaging 14.1 points per game, which I don't think
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: is good. Oh, you're being mean, Maller.
• 22:45
  Speaker 6: I know.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I know. I'm a schmuck. I'm a schmuck. Averaging just
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: two touchdowns a game. Generally, I consider that not good.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: I know. You're right. You're right. They're really trying. They're
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: really trying. Remember when everyone was playing matchmaker, Mike McDaniel
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: and Justin Herbert? We even thought that would be a
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: good marriage. It is not. Justin Herbert has been guilty
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: of fraud impersonating an NFL quarterback this year. Now McDaniel
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: hopes the bird's eye view will improve his play calling.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: Of course, the critics are out there wondering whether changing
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: his location can fix the offense, which appears to be
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: fundamentally broken. Just fundamentally broken. So different scenery. You got that.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Same football program and same problems. Now, question. Where are
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: you at on Chargers offense coordinator Mike McDaniel's decision to
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: move on up to a penthouse on the Upper East Side?
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: So I don't believe this was Mike McDaniel's decision. I
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: believe this was a group decision. And oh, what a
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: group it is that Jim Harbaugh and McDaniel and some
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: other people got together and they said, okay, we got
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: to do something. I heard it through the grapevine. We've
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: got to do something. People are upset, and all seven
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: of our fans are angry. They're not happy, so we've
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: got to do something. So this is their solution. McDaniel
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: is trying to save his run with the Chargers, and
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: he's going to save it by taking an elevator ride. Well,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: that'll fix everything. I know when I go into an elevator,
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: it's like a time portal. It always works.
• 24:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: He'll be searching for a geographical solution. to a football problem,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: which is just horrific for the Chargers in terms of
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: football problems. He's going to have better sight lines. The
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: problem is the blind spots will still be there. The
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Chargers offense is so atrocious. How atrocious? It's so atrocious
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: that the best thing McDaniel can do is physically distance
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: himself from the players. He's treating this like the pandemic.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Remember the social distancing, which was ridiculous? And McDaniel is like,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I need to social distance from the players. That's what
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: I need to do. The further away, the farther away
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: you get, the better the chances. Now, at this point,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I have an idea. I'm an ideas guy. And the
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Chargers are conducting a scientific experiment. Does offensive incompetence decrease
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: with altitude? If that's the case, they might want to
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: move their games to Mexico City. It's a very high-altitude city.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: McDaniel shouldn't stop at the press box. I think this
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: should become a thing. The Chargers are bad and they're boring.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: So why not make a side deal, have a brand
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: partnership with Where's Waldo? And every week, this is like
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: an old radio bit that we would have done back
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: when we used to do radio bits back in the
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: old days, like local radio. The bit would be, okay,
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: so McDaniel this week goes to the coach's box. If
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: that doesn't work, they get a helicopter, and they can
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: have a camera following McDaniel out to the helipad. He
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: gets on the helicopter, and it hovers over the stadium.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: They say, well, there's a roof on SoFi, but you
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: can kind of see through it. It's like a mesh roof.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: So have McDaniel coach from that location. Say, okay, this
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: is what we're going to do is we're going to
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: put you in the helicopter. Now, if that doesn't work,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: if the Chargers lose that game, then you bring in
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: the Goodyear blimp. And same concept. Where's Waldo? Where's McDaniel?
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: You put him in the Goodyear blimp, give him some popcorn,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: buttered popcorn, movie theater buttered popcorn, some nachos and some
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: candy and some kombucha tea, and he'll call the game
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: from the Goodyear blimp. Now, if that doesn't work, how
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: about a deal, a partnership with NASA that And you
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: can put Mike McDaniel on the International Space Station. Now,
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: if NASA won't do it, we can get Elon Musk involved,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: and McDaniel can go on a SpaceX rocket. He can
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: do that. That would be the way to do it. Now,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: when his altitude trial inevitably fails, which is going to happen,
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: the next big coaching innovation will be forcing McDaniel— to
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: watch the game on television from his sofa, just like
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: the rest of us. Although not many of us are
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: watching those games. Suspend disbelief if you're actually watching those games. Well,
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Fergdog is. There's a few other guys. All right, final point.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: To the Bay Area we go, where Brandon Iok wants
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: back in the NFL today. Said to be a big
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: day this Friday. But the 49ers would like him to disappear.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: We have a follow-up. to a story we've talked about
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: in previous episodes of the show. The mainstream media has
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: been all over this story. And Iok has formally requested reinstatement,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: his future. He's hanging on by the skin on his
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: chinny-chin-chin at this particular point. Kyle Shanahan has not gone Mr. Softy.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: John Lynch, the general manager, promised a solution benefiting both
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: sides of And it does not seem like there's too
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: much trade interest. They're not dying to get Brandon Iyuk.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: So the question, how do you react to the 49ers
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: general manager, John Lynch, and his promise to find a
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: solution for both sides in the Brandon Iyuk drama-o-rama? So
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: John Lynch has mastered the Rosetta Stone. He is speaking,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: John Lynch, the 49er executive, in Fluent GM. Lots of words,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: absolutely nothing said. Absolutely nothing said. He sounds like a
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: United Nations diplomat, direct out of the UN, wearing one
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: of those blue helmets, negotiating a ceasefire between two countries
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: that don't particularly like each other. They're not fans. Now,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: the pathway that works for both sides, that's John Lynch's rhetoric,
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: not mine, that's John Lynch's rhetoric. Give me a break.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: We are not talking about couples therapy this is not
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: some kind of couples therapy session the 49ers are consulting
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: with the nfl management council i don't know what that
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: is some kind of bureaucracy they're doing that because this
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: mess has no playbook according to john lynch but let's
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: be real corporate america these nfl teams are corporations they're
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: billion dollar corporations they have perfected corporate america They have
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: perfected the art of using 500 words to avoid saying
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: five words. But we're not part of that. We can
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: say the five words. The five words John Lynch wants
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: to say but does not say are, we don't want
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: him back, period, stop. We don't want him back, period, stop.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: Those are the words. Now, meanwhile, Brandon Iook has mastered
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: the greatest trick in sports and becoming a storyline for
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: an NFL team without actually playing for said NFL team.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: And John Lynch is like, well, anything's possible. Yeah, I
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: want to bet. I guess if that's true, anything's possible, well,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: technically that means Brandon Ayo can move to the Vatican
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: and eventually become the Pope. Why not? Anything's possible. Who
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: says no?
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
• 30:26
  Speaker 7: Knock, knock.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: Who's there? Lame week.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: Lame week who?
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week. And away
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: we go. Back at it again, Big Ben and you
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: side by side. It's Ben. Yes, Weedman. You were late, Weedman.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 30:46
  Speaker 7: I was late.
• 30:47
  Speaker 6: I'm here.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Were you sleeping?
• 30:50
  Speaker 7: No.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: What were you doing, though? You're almost always on time now.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: I was watching David Letterman.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: You know he's not doing new shows.
• 31:06
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Weed Man, you're supposed to at least give the illusion
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: that you listen to the show. You're supposed to say, oh,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I was listening to your show and I got carried away.
• 31:16
  Speaker 8: You've done a good job recently, but next time this happens,
• 31:19
  Speaker 8: Weed Man, we're going to have to write you up.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're going to write you up and we'll replace you.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: And you could, when I was a kid, there used
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: to be this Wally, the Wally Pip thing. You might
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: get Wally Pipped, you know. Oh, no. Yeah. All right. Well,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: let's do it. Here we go. Big Ben's Lame Jokes.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: If you would like to send a joke in for
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: a future episode. It's bedmallershowatgmail.com, bedmallershowatgmail.com, name and city, name
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: and city, jokes in the headline, jokes in the headline,
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: name and city, name and city, name and city, bedmallershowatgmail.com.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Why does Weed Man like raccoons? Why? Well, they help
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: you find food. That's Michael in Tulsa. Did you know
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: that Weed Man Hippie has a long-term relationship with his furniture? No, really? Yeah, yeah.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Apparently you and your recliner go way back. You know,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: way back, way back. That's George. George from Uvalde, Texas.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: What's a word that begins with N and ends in R? Uh-oh.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I'm having my say. Yeah, don't say that. It's neighbor, actually.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: And that's the word you never want to call Weed Man,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: is neighbor. That's John in Youngstown, Ohio.
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: That's great.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: I love that, John. If Weed Man was one of
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Snow White's dwarfs, which one would he be called?
• 32:43
  Speaker 8: Who?
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Toki, that's Noah in Austin. There you go. Noah in Austin, Texas.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: What is the best thing about Weed Man?
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: What?
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: What is the best thing about being Weed Man?
• 32:56
  Speaker 7: What?
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Well, if you get punched in the mouth, you don't
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: have to worry about losing any teeth. So that's good.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: That's how Eek.
• 33:05
  Speaker 7: That's true.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: That was actually funny. That's Eek in Roseville, Minnesota. Why
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: did Weed Man get kicked out of the movie theater?
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Why? Well, apparently you kept yelling, this is the best
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: documentary ever during the previews. That's not good. That's Scotty
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: on the Pike. Why doesn't Weed Man vote?
• 33:25
  Speaker 6: Why?
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Well, apparently his couch is not high enough. So that's why.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: That's Michael in Tulsa. big man's land jokes of the
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: week uh weed man was voted king of miami this
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: week what do they call what do they call them
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: now what your highness is what we uh mike mike
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: the leprechaun there with that one what is weed man's
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: favorite movie What? Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke. You
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: like that one. Why doesn't Weed Man like Kyler Murray?
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: His joints are too small. That's from Brendan in Boston.
• 34:09
  Speaker 7: All right.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: There you go. Last one. What's Weed Man's Christmas wish
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: going to be? What? Weekly appearances on the Fifth Hour Podcast.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: Is that accurate? Can I get on the street? No, no,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: we're good this week, I think. I think we're good.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio has the best sports talk lineup in
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: the nation. Catch all of our shows at foxsportsradio.com. And
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: within the iHeartRadio app, search FSR to listen live.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: All right, well, you know what to do here, Marcel.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Come on, you know what.
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: Time it is.
• 34:42
  Speaker 6: Oh, yes, it is.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: Put the 100% of me, folks, because the Coop Scoop
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: on Entertainment starts right now.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: And here is Justin Cooper, our Buffalo fan on X.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: All yours.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Marcel. All right.
• 34:56
  Speaker 8: We're going to start off Coop Scoop on entertainment in
• 34:59
  Speaker 8: the theater, as we always do. And there's a couple
• 35:02
  Speaker 8: of movies that I want to point out this weekend.
• 35:04
  Speaker 8: The first one is Godzilla Minus Zero. And so this
• 35:09
  Speaker 8: is the sequel to the highly successful Godzilla Minus One
• 35:14
  Speaker 8: from I think it was like three years ago now.
• 35:16
  Speaker 8: I believe it was in twenty twenty three. It's a
• 35:20
  Speaker 8: Japanese film, so I'm not going to tell you any
• 35:23
  Speaker 8: of the actors that star in it because I will
• 35:25
  Speaker 8: butcher their names. But basically, war has reduced Japan to
• 35:30
  Speaker 8: zero and Godzilla plunged it into minus. Two years have
• 35:33
  Speaker 8: passed since then. The country has faced agonizing struggles to
• 35:36
  Speaker 8: achieve recovery and finally reclaim its daily life. And just
• 35:41
  Speaker 8: as humanity managed to cling to a hard one piece,
• 35:43
  Speaker 8: a new threat strikes.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Sounds exciting, right? How great is it that Godzilla, the
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: original Godzilla, debuted in the 1950s? Yeah. It's 70-something, almost,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: probably 75, close to 75 years later. They're still making
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Godzilla movies?
• 36:00
  Speaker 8: Yep, still making money. Still, you know, doing well.
• 36:03
  Speaker 9: I do have something I want to say about that
• 36:05
  Speaker 9: movie really fast.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Randy would like to say something, Coop.
• 36:07
  Speaker 9: Godzilla's scream is exponentially louder than it needs to be,
• 36:11
  Speaker 9: and there have been people who have been wanting to
• 36:13
  Speaker 9: use earplugs for that. And it's all in subtitles anyway,
• 36:17
  Speaker 9: so it actually doesn't block.
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: You from hearing anything.
• 36:19
  Speaker 8: Okay, well, that's your prerogative.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Have you seen the movie?
• 36:22
  Speaker 9: It's not my prerogative.
• 36:24
  Speaker 8: It was a whole new thing. She's probably referring to
• 36:25
  Speaker 8: the first one, right? No, it's this one.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Oh, well, then how do you know? Yeah, you haven't
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: seen it, have you?
• 36:31
  Speaker 9: No, but I was watching reviews on it.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: Who cares? Make your own review. Who cares what those
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: people say? You live your own life.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 36:37
  Speaker 9: Well, when your ears are blown out, you just let
• 36:39
  Speaker 9: me know.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: My ears are already blown. I've been talking radio for
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: 30 years. Have you ever heard his headphones? You don't count.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: You're right. I can't hear anything.
• 36:45
  Speaker 5: The echo is serious.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. I can't hear a damn thing.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Go ahead.
• 36:50
  Speaker 8: Also in theaters is a movie called Wild Horse 9.
• 36:53
  Speaker 8: This one I'm pretty excited about. It's getting rave reviews
• 36:57
  Speaker 8: from the critics, 94% on Rotten Tomatoes so far. It
• 37:00
  Speaker 8: stars John Malkovich. Sam Rockwell, Steve Buscemi, Tom Waits, and
• 37:06
  Speaker 8: Parker Posey. CIA agents Chris and Lee face a trust-testing
• 37:12
  Speaker 8: mission from Santiago to Easter Island during 1973 in Chile.
• 37:18
  Speaker 8: And it looks pretty good. It looks like an interesting film.
• 37:21
  Speaker 8: So that is out in theaters this weekend as well.
• 37:25
  Speaker 8: Moving over to television. First, I'm going to start off
• 37:28
  Speaker 8: with what I believe is a documentary. I just found
• 37:33
  Speaker 8: out about this by logging into my Netflix account.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I saw it right there.
• 37:36
  Speaker 8: It is called Funny Money, The Dane Cook Story. And, yes,
• 37:42
  Speaker 8: basically there's interviews with Dane Cook in this movie, and
• 37:44
  Speaker 8: he talks about how after he achieved superstar status in 2008– He.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: Discovered because it was he on like talk soup. Was
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: that the show? Was he on that? I remember that show.
• 37:56
  Speaker 8: I do remember that.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: I think you're thinking of confusing.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:00
  Speaker 8: He that's I forget his name.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: All right. I stand. Joel McHale, I think.
• 38:06
  Speaker 7: Oh, yeah.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: They're all the same. You know, all those guys. Yeah. Yeah.
• 38:10
  Speaker 8: Dan Cook was like the comedian when I was in
• 38:13
  Speaker 8: high school. But yeah, when at the height of his
• 38:16
  Speaker 8: fame and success, he discovered that his half-brother and business
• 38:19
  Speaker 8: manager had embezzled $ 12 million.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: Shut up. That seems like a problem.
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:27
  Speaker 8: So he talks about that in this documentary. That's available
• 38:30
  Speaker 8: on Netflix right now. Also available right now is season
• 38:34
  Speaker 8: two of the British spy thriller Black Doves. Now, it
• 38:40
  Speaker 8: stars Keira Knightley. This is a show that I started
• 38:44
  Speaker 8: season one, and I kind of lost my way four
• 38:47
  Speaker 8: episodes in. So if any of you Mallard Militia members
• 38:51
  Speaker 8: watched the whole thing, tell me if it's worth going
• 38:52
  Speaker 8: back and checking out and getting ready for season two,
• 38:55
  Speaker 8: which is available right now. And last but not least
• 38:58
  Speaker 8: is a new movie on Netflix. This is available right
• 39:01
  Speaker 8: now as well. It is called Possible Love. It is
• 39:05
  Speaker 8: a Korean film. Critics are raving about this one. It's
• 39:08
  Speaker 8: probably going to be nominated for Best International Feature. And
• 39:12
  Speaker 8: it is about the socioeconomic differences and hidden desires between
• 39:17
  Speaker 8: two married couples. And, yeah, that is on Netflix.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: And that is Scoop Scoop Entertainment.