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Corey Lyon Folsom - Soul Statements · Vox Novus with Victor Fuhrman

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Vox Novus The New Voice, Vox Novus, the New Dimension, Vox Novus
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thought and movement leaders who will share from their experience and offer tools to help
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us navigate our rapidly changing world. My name is Victor Furman. Welcome to
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Vox Novus, the New Voice. How may we upgrade our communications, mindfulness
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and connection with life to unlock personal power, certainty and joy. My guest
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this week on Vox Novus, Corey lyon Fulsom says we may accomplish this by
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crafting soul statements. Corey has been a professional tracker, aboriginal skills instructor,
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wilderness guide for newly sober people, and vision quest leader. After a spiritual
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soul awakening in two thousand and nine, Corey participated in Ipsalu Source School of
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Tantra, Yoga, Love Coach Academy Tony Robbins, and other programs. As
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a certified NLP practitioner and relationship coach since twenty twelve, he assists people from
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all over the world to increase the soulfulness, clarity, and ease with which
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they experience life. Corey's compassionate about helping people enhance their empathy and communication.
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His website is core Relationship dot com and he joins me this week to share
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his path and book Sole Statements, a love Coach's Guide to successful Communication.
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Please join me in welcoming to vax Novis Corey lyon Fulso Welcome Corey, Thanks
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Victor, glad to be here to have you with us today. Corey,
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as I shared in our introduction, your callings have included being a professional tracker,
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an Aboriginal skills instructor, a wilderness guide for newly sober people, and
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vision quest leader. Please tell us about each of these callings and how they
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shaped your path as a young person. I was really drawn to the woods,
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the forest, the rivers that I was lucky enough to have just right
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behind our house, so I could walk through a meadow to the woods,
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to a creek, to another meadow, to more woods, to eventually a
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river. And that's just where I wanted to spend all my time. And
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it led me to getting hooked up with this school that taught the Aboriginal living
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skills, which would be how ancient people got by, you know, day
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to day, so fire without matches, sheltered just from your air hands,
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tanning hides, edible plants, and that kind of thing. So I ended
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up being an instructor there for several years and some of my closest friends are
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from that time. And so that was the Aboriginal living skills. And then
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somebody suggested to me I might want to be a wilderness guide and with these
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newly sober people, the setup was to have very little equipment, just a
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blanket tied up with some string, a little tiny canvas sack with some food,
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a knife, so we could, you know, make digging sticks to
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dig a soft spot to sleep, or dig up some onion bulbs or something.
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And so it was that averaginal living, pseudo living with those skills that
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it seemed like a natural fit. So I did that for like a nine
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to eleven years nine foul time, and that's where I got introduced to the
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Twelve Steps and the newly sober people who had been through loss and chaos,
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and we just learned how to be human with each other and if there was
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an issue, to sit down and do what we can to resolve it and
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tell us about being a vision quest leader. Folded into those programs, we
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would put our people on a vision quest, which at about day nineteen of
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a forty two day program. We would set them off, you know,
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with preparation and set up by themselves in a ten foot circle, and they
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just had to stay there for three days and four nights, no food,
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plenty of water, no journal, no fire, no shelter, just a
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poncho to put over themselves if it rained. And so it was just so
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boring. And that's the idea is you want to make it so boring.
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There's literally nothing to do except sit there and let your mind just go through
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all of the mundane, wearying, dumb stuff that our mind will do.
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And eventually we get tired. Our mind gets tired and relaxes for a few
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minutes, and there's some insight, the true shining self of our soul that
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just all of a sudden sees the opportunity when the mind wears itself out to
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give you a few minutes of brilliant insight. And those few minutes of brilliant
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insight makes the four days, three nights totally worth it, and it just
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reconnects you with you and you with your higher power. So that was the
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way we did Vision Quest. There was also one other way actually, where
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we would set them off forty five minutes apart on a remote dirt road somewhere.
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I mean it was so remote that, I mean we could see for
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sometimes thirty forty fifty miles and there were no lights, you know, And
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so they had to walk on this dirt road, no flashlight, really carrying
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nothing, and just walk the whole night. And we said, you know,
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you'll know when you get to the destination because we'll be there. There'll
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be a little fire and some breakfast. And we didn't tell them it was
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twenty twenty five miles. Just keep walking, as always said, and that
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the same thing. The mind has something to focus on, which is the
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walking, which is making sure there's a hard surface under your feet. We
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tell them if it feels soft, means you're not on the road, so
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you need to kind of go sideway until you find it again. And it
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was the same thing. Your mind gets a task and you can consider larger
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questions and like that. So that was the way we did Vision quest.
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And what did your work as a wilderness guide teach you about relationships, intimacy
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and the healing power of kindness. Well, in the wilderness there's constant unexpected
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things, whether that's an issue somebody's having in the group, or the changing
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weather, like oh my gosh, look at this giant mountain or this cliff
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we didn't know about. You know, it can get dark when you're not
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really ready for it. The season's changed, and then's just unexpected things all
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the time. And so we learned to just work through frustration without giving into
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it, but just focus on solutions. And I also learned that people's differences
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that maybe not so great in one situation, can be a wonderful asset in
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a different situation. And so maybe somebody's a weak hiker and they're slowing the
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group down, but then when we're trying to solve some problem, they come
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up with some brilliant solution that nobody else would have thought of. And there
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was just no manual, there's no playbook. You just had to rely on
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each other and realize, hey, we're all allies, and we're all frustrated,
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we're all hungry or tired of whatnot. And these obstacles, these frustrations
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just show us where we need to work, how we can be better,
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more skillful communicators, and like that. And also there is these moments I
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can think back to where I'm out of water and maybe we're all thirsty,
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but somebody has maybe more water and they offer me some and it's just so
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like, Wow, you see that I'm hurting and you offer a kindness,
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and that just has such an impact, you know, bonding and feeling connected
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to each other. And so I learned a kindness matters, and b there's
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always a solution. In two thousand and nine, you experienced what you described
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as a spiritual soul awakening. What happened and how did this unfold for you?
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It was during a contra exercise, my very first tantra workshop, and
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it was just simply sitting knee to knee with another person and I gazing,
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and as I looked into her eyes, as she looked into mine, I
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just everything dropped away and there was no other reality except this just soul light,
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beauty connection, and something shifted, and I just I think back,
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and I think I was just so deeply inhabiting that moment that it just felt
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like the air in the room went away and it was replaced with breathable joy
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and there was just nowhere to go. It's like I had arrived at me
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and I felt connected to my own center and so happy and I didn't have
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to do anything. I was just that okayness, that total okayness with just
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being me and just being here and not having to do anything to be accepted
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and loved and content. So it really felt like it. It was so
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profound. It felt like it changed me on a cellular level, and I
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was never the same sense. I actually had a similar experience many years ago
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where an event that I was taking part in, I never felt part of
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the spiritual community, and someone came over to me and said, you are
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meant to be here, and that changed everything for me. So I understand
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exactly what you're saying. You participated in a series of programs following your virtual
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soul awakening. Please describe these and how they informed and developed your coaching practice.
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You know, I went to this program up at Harbin Hot Springs,
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and it was all about learning to love yourself, allowing the kind of intimacy
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where it's into me, you see, and just being open hearted and present
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for the moment, for other people, for yourself, and for me personally.
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They said, learning to love yourself starts when loving yourself even when you
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don't want to, And that was actually way too much Philip for me.
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So I had to modify it for myself and start with self acceptance, like,
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oh, I accept that I did these things that I'm not proud of
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or happy with, and you know what happened, and I can learn,
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I can learn how to do it better. And so I started with that
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self acceptance and later that self it led into the self love. But that's
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where I started. And I also took workshops and just communication, like nonviolent
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communication, conscious communication, and that gave me better tools to be really authentic
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to what my needs were and to be able to share what my needs are
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in a given situation with more grace and more skill. And just to give
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you an example, one of the tools to do that is if something upsets
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me and I'm like, oh, especially if it's sudden, the best thing
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I can do is to offer love to my own heart, a little empathy
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on the inside, and go, you know what, I see that this
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is upsetting, I get it, it's like, and just offer a little
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sad to my own heart. A little bit of that gives you a little
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bit of time to go, how do I really want to respond to this
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versus just saying the first thing that my brain decides to spit out, which
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not necessarily helpful. So that kind of that concept of just slowing it down
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when things get heated or emotional is a wonderful tool. In what way is
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your present work influenced by your tantra background. It's really influenced by the way
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I think about Tantra. It's essentially an attitude and also a practice of paying
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attention to the moment, So being present for what's going on with me,
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being present to what's going on around me, actual listening to if another persons
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speaking, and just being really as present as possible to what they have to
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say. And so there's a I guess a built in curiosity, and I
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like to say curiosity over critique. And so also the way I look at
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it, the more deeply a person inhabits the moment, the more they're being
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tentric and so and to inhabit the moment, slow down, look for wonder.
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I have a soul statement called it says living in wonder is a gift
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and a joy. What inspired your latest book, Soul Statements, A Love
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Coaches Guide to Successful Communication? And what is a soul statement? Certainly I
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heard Tony Robbins say one time that our brains aren't designed to make us happy.
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They're designed to look for what's wrong. And what's wrong is always available,
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but so is what's right. And that really percolated in me, and
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I thought, and I thought, and I thought, Oh, you know
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what, I have an unhelpful voice in my head, just like everyone else,
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and that concept of oh, I can script in advance what to say
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in response to that voice, that unhelpful voice. So when it's saying no,
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you can't do this or there's no way, I can have a ready
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to go soul statement something like you know what, my soul knows what to
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do, or I have strengthened my center. And so a soul statement is
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a present time reminder of what's true and good and resourceful about yourself. And
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so it's a way to calibrate your surface thoughts with who you really are,
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your inner knowing. And so I really believe that the answers are in our
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center. So my job as a coach isn't to figure out what someone else
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should do or not do, or what their answer should be. My job
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is to help them ask really good questions of themselves so that they are they
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uncover are their own answers. And so the basic soul statement formula is to
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notice that you're having an unhelpful thought or attitude and then declare the soul statement
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silently out loud. And the real power is when you'd feel the truth and
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the rightness of it. So I can trust my deep knowing to guide me.
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My body knows how to heal itself, and so then your next action,
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your next thought, will be more congruent with who you really are,
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what you really are, and how you really want to be in this world.
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So that's a soul statement. What's the source of that negative voice?
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Where does that come from? That negative voice? Well, if if I
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were to be completely honest with what I think, I would say it comes
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from the fact that we are all It seems like we're so individualized and that
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we're made in the image and likeness of the Creator, but we don't always
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feel when we get born, we're like, hey, you know, where's
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the Creator? I don't see him? You know, that energy around it
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and that kind of separation from our concept of God, and we can feel
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more alone than we really are. And I think as we as I personally
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grow in understanding, and I hope I always will be growing and understanding that
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you know, we're not really separate. It just looks like we are.
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Oh, and so that that voice is is that doubt of you know,
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are we really in this world all on our lonesome and you know, just
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having to get by with our with our wits and there's no allies or help
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to be found. We're just you know, life's us struggle and then we
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die and it's a are we sure? Are we wondering about that? Maybe
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I won't make it, maybe I'm not up to the task, And so
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that it just starts this little tape that runs around. Is that programming coming
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from events that have transpired in my life, our childhood, et cetera,
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and up to the point where we're at right now. I think it can
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exacerbate that. If there's unhappy situations or events, yeah, it can reinforce
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it. Or you know, if we have better parenting or experiences, experiences
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that lead us to believe that we are connected with the greater spirit, then
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that can help quiet the voice a little bit. There are so many wonderful
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poems and songs such as Usuf Kat Stevens on the Road to find Out that
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remind us our answers lie within. How may a soul statement increase inner clarity
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and help us find those answers. Yeah. Well, I'm a big fan
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of spending time quiet time alone and whether that's you know, some people find
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that just walking, strolling through their neighborhood or in the natural area. Some
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people find it in their workout space. Some people you know, sit and
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meditate, maybe in front of an altar. And I actually can find it
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on body surfing, where I dive under the wave and I hold myself on
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the bottom and I just listen for the great silence and just still my own
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thoughts. And so there's this well spring of knowledge of our own wisdom of
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why we're here and what we're about that if we can stop thinking or stop
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paying attention to our thoughts for a bit, we naturally naturally bubbles up.
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And so if I can spend a little quiet time come up with a statement
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that's empowering and connected to my self image and who I really feel like I
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am, that sole statement then can be brought out in times of distress or
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distraction or confusion to remind us, you know what, I'm stronger than my
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challenges. There's a place at my center where I can tune out everything that
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is not me and my inner alignment is always available. So those kind of
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soul statements can bring us back to you know what, there's greater forces at
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play. I'm not in this world to just work and struggle and then die,
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but where I'm here to you know, add meaning and contribute, and
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that can take place as as long as we're living and breathing at any time
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in our life. Just so, my guest is Corey Lyon folsom his book
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Soul Statements, A Love Coach's Guide to Successful Communication. Corey, please share
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with our listeners where they can get your book and find out more about you
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and your work. Yeah, certainly, I have a website core relationship dot
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com, and there's all sorts of stuff about my coaching practice, kind of
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how I work. There are probably a couple dozen blog articles I've written,
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and there's a page dedicated to the book, and there's a link to Amazon.
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There's a link to bookshop dot org and a person can always ask their
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local bookstore to order it. And we'll be back with more of Corey after
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AD Council. Back on Box Novus. My guest this week Corey Lyon folsom
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his book Sole Statements, A Love Coach's Guide to Successful Communication. Corey,
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one of the challenges many of a space is communicating our truths. How do
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sol statements improve open and honest communication. Well, that's so so common,
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Victor. And the thing is when you have a soul statement, or maybe
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you have several soul statements, that it connects you to your value, and
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it connects you to your values. And so the more I'm connected to my
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values, the more I'm able to remember who I am beneath circumstance or worry,
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and I can speak to what's really important. And so a soul statement,
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such as as my serenity increases, I can hold circumstance more lightly.
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And that's a way to just again calibrate the outer you to the inner you,
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and like an emotional postcard saying you know what here, here is where
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you stand, this is where you belong and so and sometimes I'll even say
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to that when I hear that voice catastrophizing, I think to myself silently,
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oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm thinking that again and or something like
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you know what I used to believe that and what's actually true is and then
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I give my brain a better message. You know, there is grit inside
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me. I'm stronger than my challenges. So that's how I use it.
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And this presence, this clarity of maybe what you're going to say or how
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you want to be is just developed by consistently feeling, demonstrating your integrity,
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your attention for just what's life is, as life is occurring in real time,
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and just being present for that. And so the sole statement reminds you
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what you're made of, shifts you into a better state, and you can
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just speak with more clarity. And so that's how it works. How do
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we delineate between honest communication, open and honest communication and communication that might be
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painful to someone, Well, I like to do a little bit of setup
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and ask what the person maybe has the bandwidth for or how open they are
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to hearing what other people's maybe my experiences of them. So I could say,
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you know, hey, there's something i've been thinking about, or the
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way we've been interacting isn't working super great for me. Are you open to
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hearing about it, and you can kind of gauge how much they're attached to
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their own, you know, standard of self betterment or whatnot, and kind
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of tune the dial to you know, speak more generally or more specifically,
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as the case may be. But you want to feel or just ask the
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other person how much they're interested in hearing the real stuff. So honesty and
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kindness are not mutually exclusive, that's right. Please share with us the importance
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of mindfulness in all situations and the importance of being present well, you know,
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mindfulness. I also think of it as really connected to a self examined
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life, and so I'm mindful of how I speak to other people. I'm
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mindful of, you know, what thoughts are coming up. And one of
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the beautiful things about interacting with other people is they can be like the emotional
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weather vein of you know, this is your impact on other people as they
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experience it, and so they can give that feedback however skillfully or and skillfully
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they will. And because you know, I'm an expert on what I meant
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to do or what I meant to say, but they're the expert on how
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it actually came out. And so that's need to know information so that I
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can understand how I am received in the world and how I'm perceived in the
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world, and so I want to I want to know that, and so
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I can be in alignment with how I act and how the kind of person
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I think I am. And so, yeah, and how do we present
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our authentic selves in that situation By say, if someone says, hey,
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you know, I didn't really appreciate the tone in your voice, I might
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I might be able to say something like, oh, well that's interesting,
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and then please allow me to try again or let me redo that, so
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then I can say maybe with a different tone or and or a different phrasing.
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And so you want to share what you need to share, but you
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don't have to be harsh, and and other people will let you know if
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you're if it feels like it's too harsh to them. You know, I'm
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not the person that gets to decide, well, I thought that, you
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know, sounded just fine to me. You know, if it if it's
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didn't feel fine to them, that's their their truth. And and uh,
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that's where that's what really matters. And hopefully and energetically, within the context
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of that conversation, they will open to the same thing that you're opening to.
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Yeah. Yeah, And and that's where I think curiosity goes a long
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way. And I think it's an actual skill to hold a little bit of
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tension, meaning that if I want to say, oh, you know,
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this is how I feel slighted in some way, and I want to,
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you know, just quickly it feels bad in my body, I want to
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quickly send that out to somebody else, to, you know, preferably the
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person that I think caused the tension. AH. A lot of times it's
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better to say, you know what, I'm going to be a better container.
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I'm going to hold hold a little bit of tension, and I'm just
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going to be interested in what their perceptions are there and maybe ask about their
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motivation. Hey, what did what did you mean by that? Or you
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know, I heard what you said, but I'm not sure I understand what
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you're saying, and and just check it out, listen and and say,
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uh, you know, I I'm just wondering how you formed that opinion or
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what makes you think or say that. And then at some point it might
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be appropriate to say, well, you know, this didn't maybe sound super
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great to me. Are you open to hearing. You know my experience of
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what just happened. I had a wonderful teacher who used to say, listen
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twice, speak once. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, we
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have two years in one mouth, so it makes sense. That's it,
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two years in one mouth, Listen twice, speak once. You share that
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daily rituals and routines should align with our visions and our goals. How may
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we connect these? Well, you know, we have a self image of
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who we think we are showing up as. And also we have, you
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know, things we want to accomplish, and these these everyday routines. It's
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I think it's a good thing to give a quick examination and say, you
33:07
know, is this or that really moving me toward what I what I want
33:13
or how I want to be? Am I moving the needle in the right
33:15
direction? And and so or or you know, like say say there's a
33:23
day, just as an example, somebody says, well, you know,
33:27
I'm going to be stronger. I'm going to do ten push ups every morning
33:30
no matter what. And and if you don't do them, it's like,
33:37
oh, I didn't keep this little promise to myself, and maybe people like
33:43
me how I think of myself. People like me keep their promises well.
33:50
But if but if I'm not doing that, then there's this incongruency. So
33:57
you want to do things that you will do consistently that will kind of align
34:02
you with your self image. And I like to say self care is sole
34:08
care. So if I'm doing the things that are that are good for me,
34:14
that are are creating self betterment than all to the good and the sole
34:21
statement. Sometimes that I'll tell myself if I'm doing something that's difficult, like
34:27
like a difficult exercise, I'll say to myself, I'm doing this as an
34:30
act of love, meaning I'm making myself stronger or better in some way.
34:36
And you know, as we apply a practice here and a tool there,
34:40
at some point we're no longer practicing. It's just our habits become who who
34:45
we are. I like the soul, the soul statement. My self care
34:51
allows me to be more present and so and in that time that we spend
35:00
bettering ourselves, it's not lost. It's not I don't think of it as
35:06
wasted or or lost time, you know, cultivating our own spirit, however
35:10
that might look. When I take my morning shower every day, I use
35:16
it as an opportunity not only to clean my body, but to clean myself
35:22
and clear myself of anything that I'm holding on to that might be hurtful to
35:25
me, whether it be something that happened with another individual, a disappointing situation.
35:32
Every morning, I wash it away and I start fresh. That's that's
35:36
an idea of what you're talking about, right, one hundred percent. That's
35:39
wonderful and so yeah, So a soul statement that might really anchor that in
35:45
could be something like, you know, my cares are washing away with the
35:51
water, or what I'm doing right now is cleansing me at every level.
35:57
One of my personal challenges was running around and caring for everyone else and not
36:02
taking care of myself. How can soul statements help busy people improve their self
36:08
care? Well, when you're saying a soul statement, you know, my
36:16
inner knowing is available to me. I'm bigger than any complaint. Then if
36:24
we're not acting in accordance with that, well, then there's this incongruence.
36:30
And so I have a client who, you know, I've said all sorts
36:36
of soul statements during our talk, and I have a client who does what
36:39
many people do is she just has one that just is the universal for her
36:45
and just applies to anything, and so that would be I am enough.
36:52
And so if you just remind yourself, wait a minute, I know what
36:58
I was just thinking, and the truth is I am enough. And so
37:04
that kind of reorientation, a little bit of empowerment in the moment, it
37:12
allows us to then act in accordance with that, and so we're able to
37:20
maybe hold in a little tension, breathe love in instead of blurting out the
37:27
first thing that comes that we want to say, and that you know,
37:34
being I like to say that being uncomfortable is okay. Reacting badly is not
37:38
okay. And so the sole statements connect us to that more empowered self that's
37:49
able to say I can just be I'm okay, I'm enough. I don't
37:55
have to react badly just to make a point or try to convince somebody that
38:01
they just slighted me in some way. And so it gives us that space
38:07
and that time to just listen a little more, be a little more curious
38:14
about the other person, and just feel okay, even when maybe perhaps before
38:22
we would have felt like we had to just act. You offer a fabulous
38:31
not to do list and sole statements. Not a to do list, but
38:35
not to do list. What are some of the not to do statements?
38:37
And how may readers create their own? You know, I know for me,
38:45
my enemies a lot of them start with S, so sugar, sloth,
38:54
but also some of my saviors start with S like sleep and and so
39:05
or soul time or self care. And so that that not to do list
39:12
is those things were just I know, it isn't good for me. And
39:16
and so I had for most decades of my life what I would term as
39:22
a sugar addiction. I was always you know, popping a little gingin or
39:28
some other little sugar thing. And at some point I just realized I'm better
39:35
than that. I'm I want to have less allergies. And when I stopped,
39:45
it was not so much a decision like I'm gonna, you know,
39:52
not overly do sugar forever, but it was more like like a stand,
39:59
like a position that I occupied, or my feet were planted in a standard
40:07
and a it just that was it. I had my lance in the ground
40:13
and my line in the sand, and so I just you know, this
40:17
isn't who I want to be. And that was that. And you also
40:22
offer a way of saying no by saying yes, right, And I'm a
40:29
big fan of yes, and so if somebody comes up with some proposal,
40:37
I might and maybe I don't want to do it in the way they're describing.
40:40
I would say something like, yeah, that sounds really cool, and
40:46
I don't think I could participate at this time, or you know, if
40:52
it was a different week or a different month or whatever, you know,
40:57
I might be a yes, but right now I'm a no. So My
41:00
guest is Corey Lyon Folsom. His book is called Soul Statements, a Love
41:06
Coach's Guide to Successful Communication. We'll be back with more after these words on
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Novus. My guests this week Corey low In folsom his book Sole Statements,
44:02
A Love Coach's Guide to Successful Communication. Corey, how do soul statements make
44:09
us more empathic partners, co workers, and friends? Well as we in
44:17
the process of discovering what our sole statement or sole statements may be, is
44:23
a practice of spending a little time, whether that's journaling or just being still
44:30
and considering you know who, who the deeper me is, or allowing enough
44:37
stillness to where that bubbles up and it you know, our our heart or
44:40
our spirit says hey, you know this is it. And so feeling the
44:46
deeper you is really a way of I like to think of it as filling
44:52
up your emotional and spiritual well. And so I have friends who we might
45:00
and you know, we have that language, so we might we might say,
45:05
like going back to our original thing we just talked about, which is,
45:08
you know, somebody has a proposal, and one of us might say,
45:14
yeah, that that sounds like a good thing, or that's very interesting
45:17
to me. And you know, my will is only about half full right
45:22
now, and so I'm going to be I'm going to be a no until
45:27
I you know, boost that up. And so you know, there there
45:30
is a place at our center that each one of us where we can tune
45:37
out everything that's like I like say, everything that's not me is at my
45:45
center. It's only me. And so if I can go back to there,
45:49
I can feel who I am without any context or of the of the
45:55
world, then I'm like, oh, that's what I made of. And
46:00
so the well gets a little more full. And if we have a regular
46:07
practice of filling up our well, and you know, that's all to the
46:12
good, and we can then speak from a more place of empowerment and power
46:19
and clarity and integrity. But it begins with some quiet time with our own
46:28
spirit, connecting to who we really are. You're right about living in the
46:35
shallow end as suffering. What does this mean? Well, I'm not a
46:45
I'm not a somebody who you know won't do small talk or you know I
46:52
have that's its own pleasure. But I'm also the type of person that is
47:00
interested in depth and realness and meaning. And you know, when when we
47:07
can have conversations that are about deep things, uh that that it charges me,
47:17
It fills me up, and it makes me feel like, wow,
47:23
there's there's a contribution that I can make to some make real changes for another
47:32
person you know that they want. And so if we just if we never
47:40
dip down, then to me, it's just what am I doing here?
47:46
You know? I mean, I'm here to make deeper contributions, not just
47:52
you know, live my life and make a paycheck and and go to sleep
47:58
and do it again. But I'm very much attached to real contribution, real
48:06
moving the needle forward, for myself and for others. Many people have difficulty
48:12
reconciling sexuality with spirituality. How do you address this? Well, the one
48:19
way I think about that is the same creator who made your mind made your
48:27
body. Well if they if we accept that, then well, my body
48:31
has parts we usually don't talk about, and we can't say, well,
48:38
the creator didn't make those parts and in just only these ones. Well,
48:45
it's all. It's all part of who we are and the package that we're
48:51
that we arrived with. And in Tantra we learned to hold sexual union as
49:00
a holy sacrament. I like to think of sex as an acronym, so
49:07
sex meaning sacred energy exchange. And I also have that concept that we each
49:16
have a beloved that dwells within and and sometimes someone who's really connected to that
49:27
beloved, that beautiful, radiant heart that's awakened and powerful. You know,
49:35
there's this ability we have to then it's almost like the flame of one person's
49:40
heart can actually like a candle to a candle light the flame of another person's
49:45
heart, and we're all capable of so much like every woman is radiant when
49:55
inhabiting her joy, and every man is compelling when in touch with his deep
50:01
clarity. And I like the sole statement my center informs me as I love
50:07
my partner, or I have a beloved that lives, that dwells within.
50:13
And so I think another important contract concept is having a sacred content tract to
50:22
love and to loving. And so that's a beautiful thing because then if time
50:30
goes by and I'm not acting in a loving manner, I'm like, oh,
50:34
I can remember I have a contract to loving and to love itself,
50:39
And so then I have to realign how I'm acting to be back in congruence
50:45
with that contract. Who who I really think of myself? As you offer
50:54
a wonderful blessing practice in soul statements, please share that with us. It's
51:01
actually an ancient Hawaiian practice of just offering It's similar to offering loving kindness,
51:12
where but you're just offering a blessing to anything that captures your attention. Like,
51:20
wow, I get to travel on these highways that took a lot of
51:27
energy and effort and money and planning for a whole bunch of people to make
51:34
that happen, to create this highway that I just get to cruise along at
51:37
sixty five miles an hour and not think about and if I if that thought
51:44
occurs to me, I can just offer a silent blessing to all the beings
51:51
that contributed to making this highway or this chair I'm sitting on offering a silent
52:00
blessing to Wow. Somebody conceived it, somebody created a factory, somebody you
52:07
know, got the materials and it all got put together without me being there.
52:14
And here I am getting to use it. And that's a wonderful thing.
52:17
And it's like, oh, a blessing to all those people, and
52:22
a blessing to the air itself or any anything that I can think of.
52:31
It. It's just somehow opens my heart and my perception, my sense of
52:40
the world, and I realize the effect is I am surrounded by blessings and
52:52
and things I benefit from that I had no effort in producing, and so
53:00
at the same at one time, on one hand, it makes me feel
53:04
a little bit small and insignificant or but at the same time it can make
53:08
me feel like wow, I am the beneficiary of so much amazing energy that
53:15
what a beautiful thing, and I can I can move through and and make
53:21
my own contribution. It's another extension of gratitude. Tell us about with each
53:30
chapter in the book you offer a journaling exercise. What does journaling do well?
53:37
I love journaling, and to me, journaling unlocks this spirit water that
53:52
like this bubbling up of what's really inside us that maybe we didn't have contact
53:59
with when we're just thinking through whatever is happening in our day. But if
54:04
we sit down and we start journaling, that the unexpected happens, like,
54:10
oh, I didn't expect to write that. I wonder where that came from.
54:15
And so it's a way to contact things that are underneath are normal every
54:22
day thinking it just so, I'm a big fan of journaling. And when
54:28
I would have the newly sober people in the wilderness, I would have them
54:32
every day go off for an hour. We'd maybe stop in the middle of
54:37
the day, have a little lunch, and then it's like, all right,
54:39
everybody, go find a place to be alone, and I'll give a
54:45
yell when it's time to come back. And I would have them bring a
54:50
journal and write at least a page in it, and that was just so
54:55
useful, and I've just kept that up for myself. What would you like
55:00
readers to take away from Soul Statements, you know, Victor, I think
55:07
if I were to encapsulate it in one statement, I would say, you
55:14
can learn to call up the best part of you in a moment, and
55:20
maybe another one would be the next right action is obvious when you're connected to
55:24
your value and what you value. Absolutely, my guest, Corey Lyon folsom
55:30
his book Soul Statements, A Love Coaches Guide to Successful Communication. Corey,
55:36
one more time, please share with our listeners where they can get your book
55:38
and find out more about you and your work. The website core relationship dot
55:45
com and has it all. It's all there and that's spelled cor correct correct
55:52
cor e and then relationship all one word, and of course they can get
55:57
there the book on Amazon in all places where they get their books, and
56:00
especially let's patronize our local bookstores. Corey, thank you so much for joining
56:06
us and sharing this wonderful wisdom with us today. My pleasure. It's been
56:09
fun. Victor, You've been great, and thank you for joining us on
56:13
box Novus. I'm Victor, the Voice Furman. Have a wonderful week.