Latest / Dear Son, / Parenting In the Gray | What Would Compromise Your Principles? | Ep 151 | The Dear Son, Show

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Parenting In the Gray | What Would Compromise Your Principles? | Ep 151 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Dead Sun Show.
• 0:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: We had meaningful conversations about life through the lens of Fatherhood.
• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's four fathers, those with fathers, and the fatherless and nobody's left out.
• 0:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: These are the conversations we want our sons to access as they grow through life in the manhoods and no topics or all limits on one of your host, D. John, I'm your other host, J. Black.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: J. Black, how are you from?
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm good.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a crazy day.
• 0:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's a crazy day.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's the same all.
• 0:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because you, that's the same all.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Listen, I want to thank you publicly, man, for your assistance.
• 0:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: You provided this morning for a family.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm going to.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I appreciate that.
• 0:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: For sure.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Good show.
• 0:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's family.
• 0:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: But not a family real life.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: To be clear.
• 0:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like real life, you know, like if I'm in a bind I know for a fact if I call you we picking up Yeah, yeah, but other than that man, we we pushing out.
• 0:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's gonna be a hot one the day But before we do I let how you doing, but I am ball the apparently Ball man, it's less yeah ball man.
• 0:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah ball man with less what is what is the I don't know if he was a white in a white, but his energy was given white.
• 1:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't like call him that
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: his energy was out of the way he was trying to antagonize me to comments.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what are you saying, ball man?
• 1:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: All right.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because if the if the emphasis that I'm ball, but it don't look crazy, the bus because what it is, I just had time to do it today.
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you know, you didn't affect, you didn't affect me.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, my, my saying it.
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, it was fun times, man.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: One time, I loved the way we curate conversations on this platform.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes the algorithm, let's say go, yeah, algorithm, let it go.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'll go with the algorithm, that one fly.
• 1:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I enjoy it, you know, something I got to, I got to read them in, and, you know,
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And like, Jesus, yeah, I give me about 10 minutes of it.
• 1:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then I got to stop worrying about 10 minutes on a step away saying because at the bout 10 minutes, I start acting as if they're talking to me or to you, people are talking from their pain points.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Correct.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's the thing, I, you know, I try to keep my video.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know, anything, anything polarizing is good.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is, it is.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: And top of the top of the aisle.
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like share and subscribe, hold it in and don't forget 22 life prompts.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we got 20 20 It's too real.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I say too.
• 2:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Y'all might don't add it to it.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was the driver.
• 2:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just this on a 20 life process of facilitating effective parents in.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you again for the purchases.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, if you are a member comment and say send my book or the first three to do that
• 2:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: On this episode, we'll get a free book courtesy of my sister CJ.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: But that's it, man.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't put the season then on.
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: My wife's book is running across the screen.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: The book that we had is, is, uh, Did I have a handy, uh, somebody picked that up the other day?
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not going upstairs to the vault.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: To get all the rest up.
• 3:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, man.
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you, Ajay.
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pretty signally.
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, thank you.
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I say that, you know, they let it go.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's interesting to see how people feel about a thing that in discussion was an important thing.
• 3:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But I didn't realize it was the end of the world thing.
• 3:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even me saying I'm a down there here.
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not the comments raised from, not leave her.
• 3:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like throw your wife from have you ever been involved in anything not as let alone a relationship with a with a with a woman or whatever your choice is Jim do you have that energy with whatever you're doing No, this means all of that This means all of that I bet you won't be late to work with what are we talking?
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: What they put a couple of my head I can keep stepping over you but I know you ain't gonna say I had a lot of couple of no So what happens when you actually are the employer?
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: because that that that didn't had the effect that you thought was going to have talking about.
• 4:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: I bet you ain't late for what is.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: What is we talking about?
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: The weird is, you know, the the craziest thing is the assumption, the level of assumption to say.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I bet you're probably not going to even be successful in life.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: You want your wife because he laid out like you're weak, weak.
• 4:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're weak in your house because there's an issue to work through.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: Spindless.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's smiling.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I was like, yeah, run that.
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Another interesting point is somebody brought up that I didn't even think of, but I can vouch for is the concept of being on time, even though I still vouch for it.
• 4:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And for me, it's really a respect to things.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: From some of the comments, I couldn't tell the feels and respect thing or reputation thing.
• 4:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: because you are known as this and you want everybody to know you as the you stand on that and I get it right my thing was it's a respect for I have communicated that I need this can you meet me here so whether it was time management anything else right that's the core of it for me but in other cultures somebody brought it up said this is such a U.S.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: thing
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's true.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've lived and worked abroad with my family.
• 5:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've lived out on the economy.
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I've lived on the military base abroad as well.
• 5:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But in the economy, it turned it.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was a laborer moment for me because the final straw for us leaving Dubai, I was tired of inshallah.
• 5:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not as a disrespectful tone, but every appointment time,
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: three o'clock in Shala.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: That means at some point in the day they're going to come.
• 5:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 5:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And only typically, the American X-Pad are over there, frustrated.
• 5:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I try to go to work and tell a story about it.
• 5:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, my coworker is like, yeah, that's kind of normal.
• 5:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 5:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And here is me thinking that my frustration is going to change Dubai or the UAE, the middle Eastern general will not.
• 6:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's a wireless and important.
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I want to harp one or two much, but wireless and important.
• 6:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: context matters to the context matters all the way you know if you if you on time you punch a little stand on I appreciate it but don't throw in a throwing a relationship away or being that example being all of the thing.
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Come on.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Which brings up a very important topic
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: a mindset.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 6:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: We have a let's have a mindset discussion.
• 6:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 6:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's some.
• 6:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know you can do the book by it's cover.
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: But what do you have on your cover?
• 6:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you're going to beat you certainly are being judged by please certainly are being judged by the biggest lie that people live by is walking around thinking that people
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: on judges.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 7:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Everybody says, oh, I don't judge.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't judge.
• 7:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't judge.
• 7:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Human nature.
• 7:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're going to see something.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're automatically going to.
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's going to strike you a certain way.
• 7:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: Whether you speak on it, whether you acknowledge it.
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 7:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Whether you choose to act like it's a real thing or not.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: It happens.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: What would you do to prepare your family?
• 7:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Your sons, your daughters?
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Four.
• 7:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: the double standard of don't live for the crowd.
• 7:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 7:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: But find the, but also keep in mind to be mindful of the crowd.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who'd be my little crowd?
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's, in a very time.
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just, I'm just, I'm just using my, uh, say the adjective.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: My attitude has been ever, etched.
• 7:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um, today.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: This week was been on my mind taking my son to school.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the thing.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's three.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 7:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Cause I take him to school.
• 7:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: My day two thirds of the trade school.
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: and I was thinking about his experiences recently with interview.
• 8:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So he's in school.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's also trying to find a job because he got to get that brand as he says.
• 8:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Got to get that brand.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I got to get that brand.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Get that brand every time.
• 8:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's go.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: He says sub to interviews.
• 8:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's ambitious about that.
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when I take him to the interview and he comes downstairs, I'm like, this is a presentation.
• 8:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm, I'm kind of letting them play out to see how he adjust.
• 8:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, right.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Having been a hiring manager, I have a perspective of what was acceptable for me, like how, how I judge, right, if you actually got to the point for an in person interview, how you present yourself, getting to the relative top of the latter organization, how
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I like my children to form their own identity and express themselves, and I've been dancing with the line of conformity, you know what I'm saying?
• 9:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
• 9:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I'm not in a traditional work space anymore.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: but I can't throw away all of the information that I got, maturing, progressing, and being in that corporate space, so I understand what it is, yeah.
• 9:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So part of me is like, ahhh, cut the dress off, but I don't want him to, I don't want, I guess what I'm going, that probably I already called me all types of suckers.
• 9:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you know, you need your family, correct.
• 9:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want him to be able to understand the challenges that perception presents whether his fault or not.
• 10:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now, yes, he has control over.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: You could dress a different way.
• 10:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can cut your hair, you can conform, and they're a place to that force that some industry you have that are going to military.
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't be whatever you want to be, right?
• 10:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: In terms of presentation.
• 10:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that I'm glad we're talking about this because I'm really
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Trying to work on my time in the, okay, so I like, what do you think has been part of the role, because he wanted to interview one time at McDonald's.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I dropped them off.
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I promised you I wouldn't get gas and read the role.
• 10:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: He got gas at the adjacent parking lot, but I'ma get gas, he's saying that outside.
• 10:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let them get in the car and I was hitting my mouth like I'm way to go say something on the way to work on the way to take them to school That's an A so Any what's worth any feedback interview right oh she said they were They would look at for people with with more experience I said something with it.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: What did the interview person look like?
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: that she was an older white lady, you know, middle ladies, probably her late 20s.
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right, right, middle ladies is late 20s, right?
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, good.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: Middle ladies, late 20s, number one.
• 11:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you big doc.
• 11:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, son, McDonald's is actually the entry wrong.
• 11:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's no need for it.
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Experience, no, OJT.
• 11:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's no need for actually, he wasn't in me for like a manager, anything like that.
• 11:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, so that was a data point.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And right now when I met his, how to finish that conversation, right?
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's, let's evaluate how you end up using God.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you think the common denominator is in this thing?
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're going to choose to not conform, what is your plan to get to spread, correct?
• 12:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because they both can happen.
• 12:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: They want us to say for out, one may be a more lucrative route, and also conforming doesn't guarantee any longevity, especially that it does not.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: The biggest thing or stand out in that this play is is coming to
• 12:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's undestimated.
• 12:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: I think people just glaze over, like five things are going wrong or not in my favor, in five different situations that aren't directly tied to each other.
• 12:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it's not, I don't get the favorable outcome that I'm seeking in each of those.
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: The only consistency in that is I'm the one engaging in all five of those scenarios.
• 12:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: back to not to be the dead horse, but back to the comments of the last clip that we just were discussing about.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: People saw 30 seconds of a minute long clip and they formed a lifelong opinion.
• 13:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: Came up with a solution.
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Resolution, you name it.
• 13:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: They had resolved they had.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: I would not dare.
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't, you're not talking to me.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: The biggest thing that stood out to me was,
• 13:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: the boldness of single people talking to married people about how to successfully be married.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: People that have no background or experience based on interaction because I don't want to make the same mistake in judge based on the 30 second clip or a one comment that you threw out.
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: But because you're constantly engaging with other people that are also questioning your stance.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: for you to be bold enough to stand on a principle that you do not possess.
• 13:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have no experience with you have no background.
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's never been tested.
• 13:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's never even been tested.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're strictly theory.
• 13:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're walking around with the, I just know for a fact that my head and heart of hearts.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: If this ever happened to me, this is exactly what I'll do.
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: How many times have you implemented that thing?
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Not once.
• 14:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Haven't had to.
• 14:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Nobody played with me like that and even tried me.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: If that's what your saving group is, cool, run that.
• 14:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it's hard for your, for a level of, of by definition, a level of ignorance here, is to speak as though you're an expert of a thing that you've never laid hands on.
• 14:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: On all of a thing, oh, if all this,
• 14:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: This excerpt means all of you is this, correct?
• 14:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And one of the common, your core, just wake up early, easy.
• 14:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, y'all are missing the actual value of what's, there was some valuable commons and commons.
• 14:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's like the actual value, the thought process and like the dynamics of relationship, whatever you stand on, stand on this.
• 14:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: But here's one thing that we've never discussed and I might be prejudging you.
• 15:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: How might be?
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Come on, how might be?
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pop it.
• 15:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: The comment that was recurring on both platforms or IGN, it's a top, yeah.
• 15:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do you do anything, how do you do everything?
• 15:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I've heard that in some times as glazed over and I've been, it's like motivational speaker, Jim 101.
• 15:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 15:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: How you do anything is how you do everything?
• 15:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I started thinking like, hmm, that's, that is very motivational.
• 15:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's a great mantra to always be of an excellent.
• 15:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Statue, right?
• 15:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then I started thinking about, I'm like, man, I know some people that are committed.
• 15:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: to their health in terms of working out.
• 15:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, four to six days a week from last 10 years.
• 15:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, they've been working out.
• 15:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
• 15:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Ask them about their diet.
• 15:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Terrible.
• 15:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not addressing it at all in their rationales.
• 16:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: What does what I work out so much?
• 16:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: to come back to town right so it's hot so it's how you do anything really how you do everything and it can be it may be I'm missing it like I agree I'm sure it's a great locker room speech great in the military great in in different industry great in how it sounds really good no and I'm gonna tell you why that doesn't I work because I have a cousin
• 16:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm trying to kill a net with a sledge him.
• 16:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: By definition, that's overkill.
• 16:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: So when you're jumping up and down, grabbing your crotch and spitting, talking about, this is how you address your wife and your children about an issue, if you're stuck on.
• 16:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Presenting yourself as a tyrant.
• 16:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, sure.
• 16:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Sure, yeah.
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can absolutely, in your mind, you have the authority to walk in the front door of your home and beat your chest and be an absolute ogre.
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 17:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: And ogre, you can be a tyrant.
• 17:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can tell them you better do this or else or else or else.
• 17:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Sure, will it get done?
• 17:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: Certainly, perhaps.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: Certainly.
• 17:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: But for you to think that that's the approach that's necessary for people that you care about love and cherries.
• 17:23
  [SPEAKER_02]: At Wood Coast, that's why that's the part that kept, you know, that's always left out of scenarios at Wood Coast.
• 17:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: will that get the desired result, one of them?
• 17:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: But the byproduct of that desired result, I'm pretty certain if you care about these people the way you say you do, you're not going to like that at all.
• 17:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's the thing, that's that's the dictatorship approach and dictatorships, have results.
• 17:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Certainly, I get it.
• 17:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, stand on it and that's you.
• 17:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's not what I said exception to is when people say and attire that to all of leadership, all of it.
• 17:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's that's not
• 18:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't know that these people have actually led anything.
• 18:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they led a house, or maybe they've led outside.
• 18:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
• 18:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 18:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: When I became a better leader in any capacity, is when I realized that my goal is to get the maximum benefit from the available resources.
• 18:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is more in a corporate setting.
• 18:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can be a boss that says, do this, do this, do this, do this.
• 18:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get it some industries.
• 18:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: I work shift work before, so I understand when the whistle blows at seven, you start working, when the whistle blows at 12, you go to lunch, when the blows at 12, 30, you start working, when the blows at three, third, you go home.
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I signed up for that, right?
• 18:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: It gets things done because their multiple shifts come in like it has to be that way.
• 18:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: As I progressed into corporate,
• 18:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: time Nazis to deliverable Nazis, have you managed it?
• 19:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you know, and to what, like, as I became more senior, this is, wow, it isn't, I know it's not this at entry level.
• 19:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do you manage a schedule to a degree?
• 19:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because you being in the seat doesn't mean productivity.
• 19:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I could definitely run circles around people and three hours in what they did in eight.
• 19:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: In any field, I've ever suffered sugar shucks, that's difficult because you can see what somebody's not working.
• 19:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: But my point is, it's to actually understand the context.
• 19:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, the thing, the principle that you're talking about, is important.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: don't compromise the principle.
• 19:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Also understand what the net benefit and what your outcome your desired outcome is.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Please, it's your desired outcome to have a reputation that that you're this and you stand on it fantastic.
• 19:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it makes it up a tap, maybe they read it in your
• 20:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: All of me isn't a product of a situation that is this right now that's being worked on, correct?
• 20:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's being worked on, and nothing meaningful really changes overnight, no.
• 20:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Outside of your country, like you, I don't know, somebody will take exception to that too, anyway.
• 20:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: But getting your family to where you want to be as a leader,
• 20:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: doesn't happen always just because you say it a thing is this way.
• 20:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: And please never, never misunderstand that structure.
• 20:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: is not automatically synonymous with cookie cutter.
• 20:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: To show, you can have a structure that adapts to the situation.
• 20:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: As long as again, you if you truly go into a scenario situation with a goal and objective.
• 21:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: then if you've ever participated in any project or in the interaction or any relationship that was semi-successful, thrive, started at point A and at least made it to point B. There was some adaptation that was communication.
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: There were things that you absolutely thought.
• 21:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: Our initial plan was this.
• 21:26
  [SPEAKER_02]: We're going in and it's going to look like this.
• 21:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you show up to that project and things go right, if you're steadfast going to say, hey, plan A is plan A, there is no other plan.
• 21:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm going to beat this square into this whole.
• 21:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: until it gets in there with this sledgehammer, if you will.
• 21:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because I did not account for, I said it's gonna be this way.
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: Perhaps that's not the approach.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: Perhaps there needs to be more communication.
• 21:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay, we came and we thought, the, the, the, the, in basal information, we thought we had, we received, perhaps it's outdated.
• 22:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's antiquated now.
• 22:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're no longer able to come here and say, hey, the Blueprints we receive, it said that this dimension,
• 22:14
  [SPEAKER_02]: way of the city came in.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: They did an assessment and we were into the easement.
• 22:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can't be at 50.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have to stop at 45.
• 22:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: You have to give their five foot easement because that's by law.
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're bad.
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're people who ever drew up the initial plane.
• 22:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: But this my blueprint though.
• 22:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hey, city, take your blueprint.
• 22:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't fit here.
• 22:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 22:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: So because of that, because of that thing,
• 22:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: the tyrant approach to every aspect of life.
• 22:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Perhaps, indeed, there are people that will say tyrant works in no situation, that's your opinion.
• 22:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: There are people that believe in tyranny, that says it works in every song, I'm not here to debate that.
• 22:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: But what I am here to debate is there's more than one way to skin a cat.
• 22:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you think that you can approach and have the audacity to shun,
• 23:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: a thinking person that actually comes up with a perhaps a different approach, but they're getting the desired result and productivity out of the situation, the relationship is thriving.
• 23:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: You actually are getting the message across it just.
• 23:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: If my end goal is to make sure that eventually, hey, I understand the importance of time.
• 23:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: I understand the importance of a schedule.
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: I understand the importance of respecting someone else's time and their demands on what I have going on.
• 23:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not going to happen in two days, but if I'm yelling at you and screaming at you and putting my hands on you,
• 23:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're more focused on just trying to get from in front of me.
• 23:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're the death.
• 23:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: But then when I'm out on my own, guess what I'm going to rebel against, perhaps I, you don't know that.
• 23:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 23:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: So be mindful of the tone or the, the place that your message is being received because if your message is being received, then yeah, yeah, yeah, just stop talking to me.
• 24:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you think it's really gonna stick?
• 24:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: There were a couple of those children that were products of that.
• 24:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that made me comment about how it impacted them in life.
• 24:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 24:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Some said it was great.
• 24:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Some said it wasn't so great.
• 24:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, everybody is not this, everybody can't be managed the same way, right?
• 24:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: In your house, in my house, because some houses I haven't been in.
• 24:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: In my house, everybody can't be managed the same way.
• 24:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even having five children,
• 24:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: number one and number three don't act the same.
• 24:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 24:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: So by virtue of having one a second and then a number three means I'm an expert on number three.
• 24:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, it means I have data points and information that I can try.
• 24:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: If things don't get the results with that individual, you make adjustments.
• 24:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's it, and though I was going at you on the on the word compromise, those are the adjustments that are necessary to get the desires of result, which should be a thriving family or a thriving organization or a thriving project, whatever it is in the corporate space.
• 25:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you have a plan that you think is great and you saw the the senior executive leadership on it.
• 25:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 25:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you take that plan into action and your plan doesn't work based on the resources based on adaptation, cooperation, whatever it is.
• 25:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: You could be saw writing your plan.
• 25:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what you cannot do is go back to the executives and tell them that your plan was right, but the people ain't do.
• 25:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: They don't want to hear that.
• 25:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, you guys applaud in my plan when I told you I was going to do this.
• 25:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying, no, they, they act at the results.
• 25:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: You got to be at the results, bottom line.
• 25:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, I mean, it's, it's cool.
• 25:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: It'd be like, I'm a stickler for some things.
• 25:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 25:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: But to brush, stroke, paint my,
• 26:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: severing ties, severing relationships, because the thing is not because anything now, there are some things that are dealbreakers.
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Certainly.
• 26:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Certainly.
• 26:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this was a dealbreaker for many.
• 26:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Certainly.
• 26:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm super cool with that.
• 26:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just, I, the problem with me is I always think that there's a chance in a conversation.
• 26:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know why?
• 26:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because the opposite is called through on the baby out with the bath water.
• 26:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 26:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: This bath water is no good, it's dirty.
• 26:31
  [SPEAKER_02]: You take the whole, maybe baby, baby, still in it, make another baby and toss it.
• 26:36
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's a study out.
• 26:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it was, it was, it's a basic concept if you really think about it.
• 26:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: But it was mind blowing to me, to me once I actually heard it and then started to let it resonate.
• 26:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: if a set of parents, same set of parents, same mom, same dad, if you have three children, not twins, not duplicates, three children at three different stages of your life, because obviously even if you back to back home, you're different, right?
• 27:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's time between the two, no two children will have this same parent.
• 27:16
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's so awesome because of the expectation that you would have with what you think child birthday is or parenting is with this first child versus the next versus the next wherever you are in life financially, your mental stability should change.
• 27:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: throughout the years, uh, perhaps a year, but certainly if there's a three-year gap between three children, yeah, that's three different people.
• 27:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's three different versions of yourself.
• 27:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: Should be, should be.
• 27:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I know for a fact myself, I haven't been the same person over three years span as they passed by.
• 27:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: So now the three different personalities, the three different individuals, and what they cater to, what they need in life, their demands, their wants, their interests.
• 27:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're going to have two, three children, four children, five from the same set of parents, and no two like the same food, no two have the same allergies, no two have the same body type or size or blood type even.
• 28:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's just that specific.
• 28:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: So for you to go in and assume that this is the way I roll.
• 28:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you come into my camp, this is the way that you're going to receive.
• 28:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: my leadership.
• 28:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 28:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: You got to be always ingesting data.
• 28:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 28:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even if you don't like the data, doesn't mean that the data isn't about right.
• 28:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 28:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're making decisions, absent data, that's a very dangerous, a very dangerous thing to do, which is what social media is for.
• 28:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You make, it's people come to get off.
• 28:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 28:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get it.
• 28:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I often hope more for the conversations because I know the spirit in which we had the conversation is number one, we're not suggesting that we're experts at anything, no server, no, no.
• 29:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: The closest thing that I'm gonna expert to is what goes on in this house and that means I just have all the data in this house.
• 29:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
• 29:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: And nobody else does this stuff for the people in this house.
• 29:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then all of us have a different interpretation of the data.
• 29:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: that is being demonstrated in the house, the same day.
• 29:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so to keep it on track with my son he is, or without, you know, dears and the dears sign thing, which every man is a sign.
• 29:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: If that had said that in 40 episodes, that's kind of the thing.
• 29:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So it's the journey of a man who, but it's it's
• 29:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: watching as we're watching our sons go out into the world and have to make these decisions and fend for themselves being able to take in data and process it up against or through their lands and also knowing when somebody else's perspective is valuable.
• 29:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I can, there is some value in some stand on this.
• 30:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is even if it's to the extent of this is what this family represents.
• 30:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that core values that should be that way.
• 30:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: But to limit my son to the extent of my growth, yeah, I think that's dangerous to suggest that you can never even consider the perspective that's different from yours.
• 30:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I value and again, I value the comments because if everybody agreed like if we agreed with each other wouldn't work that this we would have got the episode 52 and you came on a 47 yeah high five and I'm like, hey, bro, so you want to do your own show yeah I produced it but like us sitting here and saying the same thing.
• 30:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I think that's value in it.
• 30:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't want my son to slip into the, like, the dismissive nature of what society would a lot of society has become because I don't think like you, you're stupid, right, immediately.
• 30:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And God forbid, you got grammar errors when you try to come at me.
• 31:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Uh, to me, which are good.
• 31:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm loud, smart to me.
• 31:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: You got, you got grammatical terrorists trying to tell me what they teach in school about and how I foolish, a perspective like the iridale.
• 31:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want him to be rooted in a thing, have his perspective, have his perspective tied to tangible, not necessarily tangible, but think, but A.
• 31:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: but values that he can readily explain and be able to stand on.
• 31:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I can make a case for my belief.
• 31:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right, there's a reason I've been in this other than somebody said, I read somewhere.
• 31:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or the group feels like most people feel like this.
• 31:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let me jump over here because I want to be, I want to be,
• 31:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: in the crowd that's yelling versus receiving being yelled at, being yelled at, right?
• 31:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's a comfort thing.
• 31:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's a great thing.
• 31:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I can't knock anybody for being with they all in life and dealing with what they dealt with in life.
• 32:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like the thing that doesn't bother me may have had a detrimental impact or may have had some kind of psychological impact to somebody growing up.
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I can't dismiss it.
• 32:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, that's what I want to say.
• 32:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to
• 32:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: There is a point where you can not necessarily write somebody off in terms of wishing bad for them, but they demonstrated enough to know that there's no value being around them.
• 32:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: And it does not apply to me.
• 32:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 32:34
  [SPEAKER_02]: That which you feel does not apply to me.
• 32:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 32:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not under your control.
• 32:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 32:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Feel free to go run a field, man.
• 32:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 32:42
  [SPEAKER_02]: It just does not apply to me.
• 32:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 32:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: I had a conversation with Bishop recently about
• 32:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can't tell a minute thing about something that they've heard already.
• 32:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: For me, no, no, no, like if they're already aware of what a word means or what a thought it's supposed to mean.
• 33:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you start to explain it to them, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, oh, easy.
• 33:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: So the importance of, yes, initially you may feel like this what you were about to say,
• 33:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: I explain the importance to them of here or not anyway, you don't know what extra little tea it bit they may add to it.
• 33:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: It may help you, even if you don't agree with it, sometimes the disagreement to a thought helps you further build your foundation or dig even deeper.
• 33:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: This really why I stand on this, that I'm so against how you feel what that means to you.
• 33:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm absolutely in the other direction.
• 33:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: So I told them, just hear him out.
• 33:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you walk away with nothing, no harm, no file.
• 33:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: But if you've missed out on some valuable information in that moment,
• 34:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: You can't put a price on net, that's price is good of enhanced.
• 34:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Your thought price is, and you just cut them off because you're so quick to be rated and know everything.
• 34:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's up, what's the dial net hill value for you?
• 34:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I can say for me, lie into yourself.
• 34:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Lot of lines to yourself that there's no end to the destruction that that can cause for you specifically and then the collateral damage to everybody around you, um, I, that that's definitely a hill for certain that that I did I would die on and that I would want my son to not wave
• 34:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: 1,000%, but I dare not say the exact same thing.
• 35:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: Me personally is, I say it would cost a lot, but for me, to be able to recognize that a person has a price, you're in factuation with money, Trump's all, I can't stand, I can't deal with
• 35:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: I have conversations with my children as often as possible so that they do not have a reverence from money.
• 35:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: Don't cherish money in wealth and riches and attention.
• 35:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: That whole, oh, I just got to get this money.
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_02]: I got to get this money.
• 35:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: And before you know it, a person like that
• 35:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: So now, because you cherish money so much, there's a dollar sign, and you can't lie to me and tell me there's not.
• 35:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you cherish money, riches and wealth, you'll turn your back on your closest personal planeter for the right dollar amount.
• 36:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: And if you view money as the tool that it is and not the riches or the wealth that you've been trained or taught that it was
• 36:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: It'll be easy for you to say there's no amount of money that'll make me disowned or disrespect or turn my back on this principle.
• 36:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: See you eat.
• 36:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: Make sure I heard you say that people have a price or people don't put a price on, don't, don't be the person that has a price.
• 36:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
• 36:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: You cherish money so much that it equips to what everything has, guys, no matter what the topic is, there's a price.
• 36:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 36:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's, there are people that say, hey, there's a lot of things in life.
• 36:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: My business, my, my,
• 36:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: earthly possessions, my assets, their focale is not focale, but it can go.
• 37:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 37:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: But when you start to talk about your soul, your integrity, if your integrity has a price, I can't deal with it.
• 37:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: I can't trust that.
• 37:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the, I think that's part of the epidemic of us killing
• 37:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: not valuing life properly and putting a price on somebody else's life.
• 37:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 37:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: We had an interesting gathering on Sunday.
• 37:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 37:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: At your house.
• 37:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 37:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: That was that challenge.
• 37:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Challenge group think.
• 37:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Challenge what we personally thought about each other.
• 37:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Challenge.
• 37:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Um.
• 37:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can you really evaluate a situation that you've never been close to, let alone been in?
• 37:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm trying to be careful of how to present it and, you know, jump in and push and pull away, need to, but yes, it was ahead to do with the assumption of guilt versus
• 38:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's perfect.
• 38:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I had a very strong stance on the two.
• 38:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but in terms of how the legal system works and how it is not tipped in our favor, in most cases, what compromises would
• 38:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: what becomes your ceiling and your position on the right thing in those instances that I that's perfect.
• 38:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'll try to skate.
• 38:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: No, no, you listen.
• 39:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's absolutely perfect.
• 39:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: To frame it, I would call it legality versus morality.
• 39:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: Even though there's a there's a legal obligation to move a certain way in life.
• 39:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you're in this society, there's guidelines rules and boundaries that are not supposed to be
• 39:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: And so now, knowingly or unknowingly, because they say ignorance of the law does not justify here, you break and say it law.
• 39:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know how a speed dummy won't speed, so because of that clause that belief that structure
• 39:37
  [SPEAKER_02]: It behooves you, it's your responsibility is what they're basically telling you to know thoroughly.
• 39:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: In this situation, I'm about to partake or embark on whatever the case may be.
• 39:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: It is my responsibility to know where it's the line.
• 39:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: There's a line and I have to know legally where that line is to cover myself and all those involved.
• 40:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Consequence comes with cross and say it line, but the challenge becomes how close are you as the person issuing the Consequent consequence.
• 40:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: If if it's a total stranger, you're not connected to a country.
• 40:24
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're not tied to this person in this shape for my fashion.
• 40:28
  [SPEAKER_02]: Now are you the right is right wrong is wrong black is black white is white.
• 40:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: But then when you start to look at circumstances, you start to look at age groups, demographics, you start to look at things that perhaps, even if you don't know who's involved, it reminds you of someone yourself, or perhaps someone you're tied to, what if they made this saying transgression?
• 40:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's black black and white white,
• 41:02
  [SPEAKER_02]: Am I going to treat my connected person to me?
• 41:06
  [SPEAKER_02]: The exact same as I would treat a total stranger?
• 41:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's hard to say.
• 41:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: More often than not, if people would be honest with themselves, based on how society works, I don't know too many mothers that would turn their back on their children, right?
• 41:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: So morality versus legality.
• 41:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: They're going to choose morality.
• 41:32
  [SPEAKER_02]: I have to follow the law and my mother, my motherhood, if you will, and I don't want to speak for women.
• 41:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: My fatherhood, in the right situation, scratch that part, my fatherhood is, I'm, my charge is to protect my son, right?
• 41:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right.
• 41:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: So they say, oh, you never lie, you never cheat, you never steal, yep, ideally, you do
• 42:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: A person that could too quickly respond to, I'm doing the right thing, I'm turning him in.
• 42:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Stand on this.
• 42:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: I'm standing on business.
• 42:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's what this is.
• 42:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you're going to be honest with yourself, you're at least going to explore how do we get here.
• 42:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Circumstantial.
• 42:21
  [SPEAKER_02]: In my opinion, you're going to go through the gambit of emotions of perhaps outrage, perhaps shock, perhaps I can't believe this.
• 42:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: is this if if if they're tied to you is this my false reflection of me this is a reflection of me did my leadership go awry did I not raise this person properly if you did do everything
• 42:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: some said you perhaps were too strict.
• 42:58
  [SPEAKER_02]: Who knows?
• 42:59
  [SPEAKER_02]: Who knows?
• 43:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: But if you did all of the things that the masses would say was your charge to do to make sure this came out to be an upstanding citizen.
• 43:08
  [SPEAKER_02]: Because that's what people feel to realize.
• 43:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: A person that commits a crime or makes a mistake in life.
• 43:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: If you get to listen to some of the guy, what happened and
• 43:25
  [SPEAKER_02]: I must take none the less though, that carries a heavy consequence.
• 43:29
  [SPEAKER_02]: So now because it's a heavy consequence associated with this mistake, all you didn't know, we preface this conversation with ignorance of the law does not excuse you from the law.
• 43:41
  [SPEAKER_02]: So now, where do you fall?
• 43:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: I would love to hear what the, the deadly due rights and the perfect human beings of the world really think about.
• 43:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: the right scenario, you know what I mean?
• 43:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was this specific set of circumstances that were, let's start speaking so vague.
• 44:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going into details.
• 44:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 44:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: What happened was it was a, you can say a mock trial.
• 44:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, it was, it was a trial preparation conversation.
• 44:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: There you go, right?
• 44:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 44:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: So somebody preparing for a trial,
• 44:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: was presenting some scenarios to us to see how he like we were reacting to as if we were a jury to be selected or a jury, a selected jury to actually deliberate on the thing.
• 44:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
• 44:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the scenarios that were presented went from, I mean, obviously, too.
• 44:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the consequences that await them, I'm not for it, I'm not.
• 44:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, and you can start to see the compromise and in a person's humanity based on what they believed about a thing or understood about a situation through their lens, correct?
• 45:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: So while punctuality is a far cry from what we're talking about now, this, the way that it was addressed was, if this, then all of this is, is fair game, this, right?
• 45:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: only being rigid in everything.
• 45:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you come to the point of being rigid didn't work and it landed.
• 45:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe not because of your actions, but the rebellion too.
• 45:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you can't wear it.
• 45:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: got it.
• 45:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Right.
• 45:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: We don't got it.
• 45:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: We never assumed the worst situation or the worst scenario until you're in it.
• 45:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then it's beyond assumption is beyond repair.
• 45:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 45:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, like, would you stand on that?
• 45:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And even on my position didn't really change.
• 45:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It was like a humbling
• 46:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Standing on business for me because I was really thinking through, man, what if that was my sign?
• 46:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you start the massage, the rules, when again the consequences are pointed to war, somebody that you're close to?
• 46:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this particular instance, it involved a young guy and a young girl.
• 46:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: I also have a young girl as a child, correct?
• 46:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there was no bias.
• 46:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't be bias in a situation, right?
• 46:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: The wrong thing was the wrong thing, but God, Derek, could I actually deal with my son
• 46:52
  [SPEAKER_02]: And, and, and, oh, oh, watch this, this ties back to a previous portion of this episode.
• 47:05
  [SPEAKER_02]: There was a presentation of generic scenario, just to kind of feel you out.
• 47:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: If this isn't this, what, what are you standing, oh, like you said, left, this isn't this
• 47:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: This is this got all the way down to circumstantial gray area-ish detail that was like oh that's not that's just not fair that's not fair it's like it's not about fair the law states this and the law because it stays this mandates that so because of a and b are tied together
• 47:45
  [SPEAKER_02]: You're looking for that gray area.
• 47:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Man, what about C right here though?
• 47:48
  [SPEAKER_02]: That's a gray area.
• 47:51
  [SPEAKER_02]: And then, there's a stand out to you.
• 47:54
  [SPEAKER_02]: The pause of, okay, let me help you with that gray area, then.
• 47:57
  [SPEAKER_02]: Tantantantantant, let me give you another scenario of another situation that you were like, oh, it goes back and again, I'm being very vague.
• 48:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: It goes back to,
• 48:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: judge in a book by it's cover but be mindful of your cover right so now because of judge a book by a cut it's cover but be mindful of your cover if you're presenting as a person who eats meat but you're trying to stand in front of me now that you're in trouble for eating meat to try to convince me that you are a vegetarian
• 48:40
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's hard for me not to look at something showing me last week.
• 48:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: You had a burger, you understand, so because you had a burger, y'all don't understand how good of a you can't because you can't say, but you can't eat a burger last week.
• 48:56
  [SPEAKER_02]: And now, tell me the gray area of this week is, but he just thought of this vegetarian thing and just didn't know.
• 49:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: that that was a burger you know what I mean like like he didn't know that's really good so now it's like oh you had me but because you ate a burger last week I don't want to hit this vegetarian talk this week you know what else happened for all of us that participated just
• 49:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: We were in our minds asking questions to confirm what we thought our lens suggested before we knew the actual details of what these people looked like.
• 49:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: Great.
• 49:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
• 49:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: this.
• 49:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 49:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in reality, we walk around with these assumptions all day every day, though we don't articulate them and would have no reason to articulate them until we were in that scenario, but it had me thinking like, man, I. Book, book covers never lied to me, but I don't necessarily want you to, you know, I got the right to change my cover, how you go hold me to the
• 50:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: How do you go home instead of first edition when I just remixed it.
• 50:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: They ain't steal it.
• 50:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I just remixed it.
• 50:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: They ain't steal it.
• 50:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: So it's hard for me to, you know what I mean?
• 50:33
  [SPEAKER_02]: You didn't took that.
• 50:35
  [SPEAKER_02]: You always go to the grocery bag, the paper bag, and cut it and made you a book of, yeah, make sure.
• 50:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 50:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't buy it, yeah, I don't buy it yet, I don't buy it yet.
• 50:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, I think this is a great panel discussion, because I would love, it would have been cool that we could have had a camper with, it wouldn't have been right to have cameras in there, right?
• 51:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: But to have the dynamics that we had in that room, I think we'll be valuable.
• 51:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I would like to invite some other perspectives
• 51:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: parenting through the grade.
• 51:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what?
• 51:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Hold it up with talk.
• 51:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's why I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, you wanted something right there.
• 51:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, parenting through the grade man.
• 51:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I don't know.
• 51:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you're not, you know, you're not here like that.
• 51:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: You're not going to get up.
• 51:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, no rush.
• 51:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: I know I see what you get the love.
• 51:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: There we go.
• 51:38
  [SPEAKER_02]: Full ball season.
• 51:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: Who do you do have to do full ball season this year?
• 51:43
  [SPEAKER_02]: And I told y'all, all season, all season.
• 51:47
  [SPEAKER_02]: What you don't want me to do is check the score right now.
• 51:49
  [SPEAKER_02]: I don't because you're gonna feel food.
• 51:50
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not, don't you know the score?
• 51:53
  [SPEAKER_02]: Right now as we're recording this, we'll tell it.
• 51:55
  [SPEAKER_02]: As we're recording this right now, somebody's team, the America's team.
• 52:00
  [SPEAKER_02]: It's not America's team.
• 52:01
  [SPEAKER_02]: Are you an America?
• 52:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna say this in America, but you don't like the name?
• 52:04
  [SPEAKER_02]: Are you gonna, you know, but it bugger news is there, they're in a man.
• 52:07
  [SPEAKER_02]: You gonna call this some different because you don't like the name.
• 52:09
  [SPEAKER_02]: Somebody is a cowboy as fan and a cowboy as a playing the night.
• 52:12
  [SPEAKER_02]: He's an opener.
• 52:13
  [SPEAKER_02]: So they're playing right now.
• 52:15
  [SPEAKER_02]: As we're recording that, it's probably punish.
• 52:17
  [SPEAKER_02]: You think I went in right now?
• 52:18
  [SPEAKER_02]: I ended that this time.
• 52:19
  [SPEAKER_02]: Mine's not.
• 52:20
  [SPEAKER_02]: Please let me check this as we're recording.
• 52:22
  [SPEAKER_02]: This can come in.
• 52:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: This can come in.
• 52:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
• 52:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I could so let it's my boy Parents is in the gray is a community conversation and come to use some by way of the dance on that word Come on, stop people.
• 52:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: We appreciate you guys.
• 52:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: God bless you, please.
• 52:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah