Latest / The Philadelphia Sports Table | Philly Sports News & Views / PST SPECIAL: "The Dirt" Movie Review

Transcript

PST SPECIAL: "The Dirt" Movie Review · The Philadelphia Sports Table | Philly Sports News & Views

0:22
Hey, what's up. Patreon subscribers, thank you so much for your subscription
0:28
here to the Philadelphia Sports Table Patreon platform. We really gratefully appreciate your support,
0:34
and this show here is going to be a ton of fun. So,
0:38
first and foremost, if you have not seen the movie The Dirt on
0:43
Netflix, you got to see it to understand what we're talking about. So
0:47
either stop this podcast and go waste waste close to two hours of your life.
0:53
I'm kidding, but it's totally worth it, it really is. Eric
0:56
and I are going to be talking about and reviewing this film here on this
1:02
particular podcast show here on our Patreon platform. So Eric, my man,
1:06
we watched this. Uh you saw it at least a few times. I
1:10
know you saw it before the draft weekend that us our crew had, but
1:15
we watched it actually during that draft weekend, and man, what a piece
1:19
of garbage the Dirt is. I mean, it's just dirt, that's what
1:23
it is. It's actual dirt, and it's pooh. It was a fucking
1:29
terrible, terrible movie. Oh my god, I'm not sure what movie you
1:34
watched. I kind of disagree with you. Um yeah, I watched it
1:40
weeks ago. And I text all of the all you guys saying, uh,
1:44
you have to watch the Dirt, and not not because it's good and
1:48
not because it's bad. It's just kind of it's it's it's just superd It's
1:53
definitely one of the my favorite stupid things I've seen on Netflix since they started
1:57
doing like their original programming, and that's what it's actually. Yeah, And
2:00
I honestly thought, like, should we tweet out to people that they should
2:05
watch it first? And I actually don't think it matters if if they saw
2:08
it already, once they hear this, they're gonna go want to go watch
2:13
it. So either way, if you've seen it already, that's perfect.
2:16
If you haven't, you're probably gonna want to go watch it. If you're
2:19
like me, um, I mean, just quick thoughts on it before we
2:23
really delve in. It definitely accomplishes something that most movies like this just never
2:30
do. It's both like good bad and it's and bad bad throughout the entire
2:36
movie. If if if you know what that means, But that's where I
2:38
was going with it. That's where I was going when I said this was
2:40
horrendous. It's one of those movies like for instance, like when when our
2:45
buddies, when we all get together and we all watch whether it's Super Mario
2:49
Brothers or we've watched before. We've watched Mannequin too. We have watched Um
2:53
fifteen and Pregnant. You know, it's just that it's so bad but it's
2:58
so great at the same time. But at the same time, Like to
3:02
me, those are bad bad, but we've also sat and watched for hours
3:07
Slap Shot, Caddyshack, you know, the those are good movies. I'm
3:12
talking more like it has the elements that make like Roadhouse and I'd say Cobra
3:17
awesome. Ye, Like those are good bad movies, but it also has
3:21
the elements and make movies like Jack and Jill, you know, the Adam
3:24
Saidler movie or the Mario Bods movie you just reference, like just completely unwatchable.
3:30
Like somehow, somehow, for an hour and forty seven minutes, they
3:35
combine those both those elements and it's that combo that I've I've actually watched it
3:38
three times now, Like I'm I'll fully admitted, like I can't believe I've
3:44
watched it three times, but it's absolutely worth it twice for my Actually,
3:47
I actually like it better than Bohemian Rhapsody that was up for fucking Oscars.
3:53
I mean seriously, I mean the lead actor won an Oscar portraying fordymer Kery,
4:00
you know. And if you've seen that, right, have you seen
4:02
that? I actually haven't seen it yet. Okay, Well, Rhapsody like
4:08
really tries hard to romanticize the whole story behind Queen, including how they got
4:12
stygned, they came up with songs. It's really corny, you know,
4:15
like like they got signed to a major deal in like five minutes of the
4:18
movie, and you knew it was one hundred percent produced by the surviving members
4:24
of the band, because no one was painted in a negative light in the
4:29
film, and it was almost magical, like like wizard dream that they came
4:31
up with the music and any idea for the band. But I implore people
4:36
to see it with that in mind and you try not to laugh. Like
4:41
the Dirt is actually a perfect mix between that movie and the h the VH
4:46
one def Leppard documentary from two thousand and one. Like, I don't know
4:51
if I'm sure people have not seen that one, but I've seen that one
4:55
like ten times. Like it's corny, it's terrible. You know it's it
5:00
was. It was on TV before like they figured out how to do movies
5:03
and documentaries correctly. Yeah, especially so like that, That's why The Dirt
5:09
is so good because they tried really hard to make a movie, but this
5:13
still had one foot in that crappy late nineties VH one documentary making and and
5:19
and not only that, but like you combine that with this is Nikki Six's
5:24
story, Like this is absolutely this is from his book called The Dirt,
5:28
and like this is Nicki six is like love story to himself. If if
5:33
you if once you watch it, you'll you'll know what I'm talking about.
5:35
That is a great way to describe it. It really is because when you
5:40
and he romanticized himself. I think a lot throughout this movie. And I
5:46
mean, let's let's talk about the actual guys in this band, Nicki six,
5:51
Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, Mick Mars. The actors a term that
5:57
I used pretty loosely for this movie didn't look like any of them at all.
6:00
Their hair was the only thing that actually resembled what they looked like in
6:04
real life. And for some reason, Nikki six had really high cheekbones.
6:09
For some reason. I remember mentioning that to you when we watched it we
6:12
were down in Virginia a few weeks ago. Just the actors. They just
6:15
didn't look like any of them at all. It was terrible. It's funny.
6:21
He definitely picked he definitely hadn't picked the actor who portrayed him, because
6:26
the other three actors that portrayed the other, like Nikki, Vince Neil and
6:30
Tommy Lee, they kind of resembled them, but it's almost like they were
6:35
like stunt doubles. Yeah, it doesn't matter if faces look like them,
6:39
it's just their bodies look like them. When you say romanticize it, it's
6:46
incredible how much he romanticizes himself in terms of wanting to be let's just delve
6:53
into him. Like before I say that, though, like each character.
6:56
Of course, it's a film, so it has to be an exaggeration because
7:00
you're portraying a real person and its supposed to be a movie, and you're
7:01
supposed to be like entertained, you don't honestly the boring parts of their life.
7:04
There's tons of exaggeration with this, with every character in this movie.
7:10
But it didn't have to be such an extreme for each person in the band
7:15
like that. That's the part for me that I was just like so absurd,
7:18
Like nick He's six, I'll just start there. It was definitely a
7:23
love letter to himself. He put himself up on this like rock and roll
7:28
pedestal. Uh. He's he's always seen himself as like this true punk rocker,
7:32
even though he played the music he played, you know, like the
7:35
hair metal stuff. Yeah, and it definitely showed in the movie, Like
7:41
he made it very clear if it wasn't for him, there's no Motley Crewe.
7:44
That just didn't exist. It was never gonna happen without his influence.
7:48
Um. But I mean, I'd like to hear your take on Nikki six,
7:54
the character in the movie, because I had more thoughts than that.
7:57
They go further and through romanticism of himself. Yeah. Well, I think
8:01
the transition too, and it's might not be necessarily from a characters standpoint,
8:03
but from a director's standpoint, the transition of him having a horrible childhood to
8:09
then you know, being out on the streets and then suddenly having this,
8:11
oh my god, successful band. It was just it was poorly done.
8:16
But I think that, you know, because this really is you know,
8:20
quote his story. A lot of stuff was probably left out, and it
8:26
made it seem as though he was the hero, that he was the hero,
8:28
especially at the end of the movie where it was he going to Tommy
8:33
Lee's house and then you know, they go to the poor hospital after Mick
8:37
Mars has his hit replacement, and then they go to the bar where Vince
8:41
Neil is just just you know, down in the dumps, and that's where
8:45
the band gets back together. And then for another twenty years they're rocking and
8:48
rolling on stage and it's like everything was his initiative, and it just doesn't
8:54
work like that, especially when you have such a large and successful band like
8:58
Motley Crew was. It doesn't work like that. It's not just one guy.
9:01
I mean Christ even Metallica got to the point where you know, it
9:05
was all about Lars and James and it was all about their arguments and they're
9:11
coming together every now and then. But now you know that band it's actually
9:16
about Kerk cam At too, and it's about Rob Trio and after time it's
9:22
about the actual band itself. But Nikki six didn't make it like that.
9:26
This was it's like it was his baby through and through from the beginning until
9:31
the end, and I thought that was horseshit. He he he made himself
9:35
at the same time, simultaneously the hero and the anti hero in the same
9:41
role. And I but yes again any point, Yeah, it goes back
9:46
to him making himself into some kind of like mythological character. Yeah. I
9:52
just love when guys think that highly of themselves. When they played bassar in
9:56
a band like not that important, we wrote the lyrics the other music supposedly
10:05
please we all know. Yeah, I know, um, but but I
10:09
want to talk about the romanticism quick that he he put on screen, like
10:15
his his his love affair with Heroin is fully explored and shown in such a
10:20
gratuitous fashion. Oh I was gonna be getting to that too, Yeah,
10:24
go ahead, Well they it's so gratuitous that they even light his Heroin closet,
10:31
like as if he's about to make love with a like a Teddy Pendergrass
10:35
song in the background. Like it's so over the top, Like we we
10:39
get it, Heroin, you know, the musician and Heroin is like a
10:43
love affair, and like I'm surprised he didn't have you know, like Valentine
10:48
hearts and blistering in the background while he was shooting up, like it was
10:52
just so it's just so over the top. Yeah, Like he's shooting up
10:58
and I'm in he's like, um down in the dumb me while I'm laughing
11:00
my ass off because it's like, dude, we got it. You you're
11:03
you're, you're, you're, you signed a contract with the devil and you're
11:07
you're, you're got coming out of it, man, And I mean,
11:11
and it goes so far into that as well as the punk ethos. He
11:16
tries to portray that when he you know, later in the film when he's
11:20
he survives that OD and he does the famous like the famous uh he almost
11:26
dies and he does a he did this in real life. He did a
11:30
like a not a voicemail but an answering machine message where he said, this
11:33
is Nikki six and I just died or something like that. Yeah, and
11:35
then in the background is paying Johnny Thunders can't put your arms around a memory,
11:39
which is like the antithesis of punk, like the Punk and Heroin.
11:43
It's just I just can't believe how much he like blow is the term blowviated
11:50
bloviated in himself, like I've I get that he wrote the book, and
11:56
he was like at the forefront of of making this, but like, man,
12:01
it was actually worse than the Bohemian Rhapsody film where the remaining members of
12:05
Queen painted themselves is like the Princes of Music in England, and it was
12:11
just I felt kind of embarrassed, like, dude, you know you're trying
12:16
a little too hard with the way you portray yourself. Yeah, I great
12:20
points, great points. And there are two we get it moments for me
12:24
within this movie. Oh my god, they're two big ones for me,
12:28
And this was one of the This was one of the first ones, which
12:31
was with the whole heroin thing. It's like, yes, we get it,
12:35
for God's sake, but it really goes to the NonStop partying of the
12:39
first half of the movie. It's actually like exhausting, like, yes,
12:43
we get it. You were Motley Crue, we get that part of what
12:46
this band was and what it meant to the scene back then. But then
12:50
they they try to automatically transform the movie without any ease by the way,
12:54
into a serious, serious drama, which was actually kind of just cringe inducing
13:00
and very painful to watch in a way. Just it just the movie flips
13:03
back and forth between the partying and hedonism to you know, quote real life
13:09
drama and fucking moralizing basically, you know what, let's get to that.
13:16
Yeah, well hold on, yeah, we hold on real quick here.
13:18
So but when it comes to like the heroine stuff, like I don't get
13:22
too hokey here, but a small part of me was actually a bit offended
13:28
by this whole romanticism of what in who Nikki six was with regard to his
13:31
addiction and the addiction component of this movie. I mean, the complexities of
13:37
addiction and what it is within our society. We're so so ignorant and virtually
13:43
non existent in this movie, you know, and you know it goes to
13:48
the whole you know, goes and maybe that this is a segue into what
13:50
you wanted to talk about. And it was kind of like also the scene
13:54
with Vince Neil and his daughter in the hospital, like that family dynamic and
13:58
delem it was embarrassing. Okay, Okay, let's get to that right now.
14:05
Okay, let's just go to let's just go to Vince's character because this
14:09
is the perfect segue into him. And you just talked about the amount of
14:13
partying and you know, they try to fit twenty to thirty years into an
14:20
hour and forty seven minute movie. I get that it's hard to do,
14:22
but you didn't have to go to those far of extremes. Yeah, the
14:28
characters extremes and the storytelling went to far extremes, and to go from the
14:35
heroine stuff, which didn't offend me because it's just whatever. It's just you
14:39
did heroin. I know you tried to glamorize it obviously, but what really
14:45
offended me personally was vince Neil's character and you trying to tug at my heart
14:52
strings in this shitty movie. Yeah, what are you wing? Like what?
14:58
It's a bad movie like Roadhouse. There's no scene where I'm I'm clutching
15:05
myself going, oh God, I hope Patrick Swayze makes it through it.
15:07
Like, I don't care about the characters, so don't try and make me
15:11
care about vince Neil's daughter. It's a horrible story. Okay, I'm not
15:15
mocking the story itself exactly, but to try and like tear jerk me into
15:20
caring about this is absurd. Like I didn't like it, and I wasn't.
15:26
I wasn't offended, I would say, but I was just more like,
15:30
guys, what are you trying to do? Like I just get to
15:31
the point where where you bring in John Karabi and it's absurd, and then
15:35
you bring in you bring Vince back Like I didn't. I thought that was
15:41
I wasn't offended, like I said, but I thought it was really funny
15:43
on a certain level, Like Okay, just make a movie where you're banging
15:48
chicks and you're doing drugs and you're drinking alcohol. That's all you had to
15:52
do. People would have still enjoyed it. Did you have to did you
15:56
have to have the scene with the daughter goes Daddy, this hurts? I
15:58
don't like, kid, like, come on, are you serious? Exactly?
16:02
Wasn't don't let them cut me or something like that. It's like,
16:06
oh, for God's sake, and and God bless whoever played Vince Neil.
16:11
You know, he's a bad actor and he's he's like a lifetime actor and
16:15
he and he's and he's had her bedside and he's clutching her her hand going
16:22
I won't let you do this. And you're like, oh my god,
16:25
if this was a good actor, I might this might be touching. I'm
16:27
the Lin'm laughing because you suck like it's just a really it's it's it's giving,
16:33
it's giving a it's giving this like Sophie's Choice type of script to a
16:38
D plus level actor and it's just in wrong hands. I'm going to laugh.
16:44
That's just how it works. Um, Vince Neil's the Vince Neil character
16:48
was horrible, and the way they wrote him was terrible too. I mean
16:52
the way they wrote him was terrible when it came to you know, their
16:56
their friend, you know Razzle. How did Razzl introduce himself in the movie,
17:02
Eric Hold, I have three favorite scenes and that's one of them.
17:07
The introductions are just so over the top, And my favorite one is Razzle
17:11
walked up to their table at the Rainbow and just goes, Hey, I'm
17:15
Razzle from HANDAI Rocks, because that's how people talk. I used to introduce
17:21
myself when I was at Verizon. Hey, I'm Eric Leonard from Verizon,
17:25
Like, who know, people don't do that, they don't talk that way,
17:29
like I Oh. It was so over the top and so good,
17:32
and I know they were trying to build up their relationships so that when he
17:36
died in the car accident, you're supposed to be like feel bad. No,
17:38
I laughed when he died because his character was so ridiculous. Like,
17:44
I know this all stuff is true, but like when you portrayed in such
17:47
a ridiculous fashion, I'm gonna have to laugh. Sorry. Yeah, yeah,
17:51
Well I want to get into the accident and that part of Vince Neil's
17:52
storyline in the movie. You know, here in the United States, if
17:57
if a black guy, say a rap artist, did what Vince Neil did,
18:02
killing somebody by getting into a car accident the way he did, driving
18:06
under the influence, that individual would have gone to jail a lot longer than
18:11
Vince Neil did, and they just completely glossed over it. He was sentenced
18:15
to thirty days in jail for killing somebody and consequently giving two other people permanent
18:22
brain damage. When I'm gonna get to in just a second, but yeah,
18:26
thirty days in jail. That jail sentence actually got reduced to fifteen days
18:30
because of good behavior. Can you imagine that happening to anybody else? Could
18:34
you imagine it happened maybe maybe another rock star, you know, I mean
18:38
in the world of sports. I know Dante Stalworth killed somebody with his car
18:44
accidentally. You know, and he didn't. Necessarily he didn't get thirty days
18:47
in jail, but he uh, I don't know, I know that he
18:51
would. It just wasn't It wasn't a huge sentence. So it does happen
18:56
with people who are quote celebrity. Yes, Vince Neil was on five years
19:00
probation, two point six million dollars in restitution to the victims of the crash,
19:04
and he did like two hundred hours of community service. But if you
19:08
read about the story and what actually happened in the movie, it's it's just
19:15
it's ridiculous. It's a complete like fabrication. Basically, it wasn't until Vince
19:18
Neil was at the police station that he actually learned from a police officer that
19:22
Razzle had died. So in the it wasn't like it was in the movie
19:26
where's he's basically cradling the head, the dead head of Razzle saying, look
19:33
at the Christmas lights? You know, what do you want for Christmas?
19:36
Raz? Do you? But I'm like, what the fuck is this?
19:38
What the what the fuck is going on here? Christmas lights? What?
19:42
What's what's happening here? And oh and again the movie leaves out the two
19:48
passengers in the other car that Vince Neil hit. They both get brain damage
19:52
for the rest of their life, So you know, that's completely glossed over
19:56
with this awful incident. But I think with that particular aspect of the movie
20:02
and his character, they made it seem as though it wasn't actually as bad
20:07
as it was, and they and they somehow made it seem as though it
20:11
was more disturbing to Vince Neil's life more than anything else, like it was
20:15
an inconvenience to his partying lifestyle. And I thought it was just terrible,
20:21
like kind of like they were trying to rewrite history in a way. They
20:25
really kind of glided past that whole situation, didn't they. Yeah, Yeah,
20:30
Vince Neil ruined not just three lives killed one, but like multiple lives
20:37
in that accident, and they somehow they try to paint Vince as into it
20:41
as a sympathetic character in the whole situation. Yeah, and he's mainly mad
20:47
that his bandmates didn't visit him in jail or call him, but that's what
20:49
he was upset about. Well, how could they He was only there for
20:55
like nine hours, so they couldn't have visited them it was ridiculous like that
21:00
part of the movie. Like, I know they had to do it,
21:03
but again it was just a like he I guess Nicky had to create some
21:10
kind of sympathy for the members of the band within the movie, and in
21:15
doing so, he just like just glossed over. Yeah, we killed some
21:19
people as a band, and uh destroyed lots of lives, but you know
21:25
we all got back together in the in the end, and all things,
21:26
you know, all things are good now, twenty more years of rock and
21:30
rolling, millions millions of dollars exactly. Um, Like, like, okay,
21:37
we've talked Vince Neil, can we get to Mick Mars. It's I'm
21:45
not really sure what the fuck the Mick Mahrs thing was in this movie.
21:49
I love to hear your take because I have my own, and I don't
21:52
even know. I still don't know what the fun to make of it.
21:56
I I it's tough for me to know too, because I actually, as
22:00
a guitarist, I've always actually liked Mick Mars. You know, I go
22:03
back to I think it was like the nineteen ninety one Christmas where my parents
22:07
bought me my first like real, real huge stereo system and it had a
22:11
CD player in it, and they bought me my first three CDs, which
22:15
was Metallica Black Album, Van Halens for an Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, and Motley
22:21
Cruz Doctor Feel Good. It's because I liked all the guitarists, like I've
22:23
always liked Mick Mars as a guitarist. Not the greatest by any stretch of
22:27
the imagination, but he just held a special place in my heart just because
22:33
of my guitar playing over the years. So I look at this character and
22:37
not only did they make him out to be some sort of curmudgeon, but
22:41
they didn't really do anything with his character, a guy who I don't even
22:47
want to say he was miserable because they just didn't do anything with his character.
22:51
He was just the guy playing guitar. I don't know. Maybe that's
22:55
how he wanted to be portrayed in the movie, but he was boring.
22:59
Seemed like he really didn't even care about being in the band, even though
23:03
he ended up naming it based on what we saw in the movie. I
23:08
don't know. I don't know what to think of his character. Maybe he
23:12
just didn't care what Nikki six was doing when it came to character development or
23:18
anything like that, because he doesn't necessarily seem to be the type of guy
23:22
who is. He's like, he's just the soft spoken, I don't want
23:25
to say soft spoken one, maybe the I don't give a crap guy in
23:29
the band. You know, he's not. He's not the Tommy Lee you
23:32
know, out there trying to date all these chicks and famous chicks and stuff
23:36
like that. He's certainly not. I don't think the Nikki six with the
23:40
heroine stuff, and I don't know, there was just there was just nothing
23:45
there. There was nothing there when it came to Mick Mars, who I
23:48
think is actually a talented guitarist, and I thought it was kind of unfortunate.
23:52
Like what I know of the band, I think Mick Mars. I
23:55
think the Mick Mars documentary would be way more interesting than any of them,
24:00
any of the other three. Yea, um, but you said he wasn't
24:03
portrayed as miserable. That's that's exactly how to portrayed him. Actually, I
24:07
he was just he was just a nudge, like a lump on a law
24:11
like he was udg yeah, my god. Like I wasn't sure what to
24:17
make of his character. And I say character because I don't really know much
24:19
about him. But like, if you didn't know anything about Molly Crue,
24:22
you would just think he's a like a freaking pod person hatched like five years
24:27
ago, like an alien or something, or at one point he was either
24:32
that or a middle aged sort of loser who dumped his wife and kids and
24:37
was paying alimony. So he's somewhere. He's somewhere in between that and an
24:40
alien. So I don't know, I don't really know what what what that?
24:45
What that? What that was supposed to be. He's constantly laying around
24:48
like he's in a tomb um, he has his arms crossed like at one
24:52
point he's laying on a couch with his arms crossed like he's like he's Dracula,
24:56
And I highly doubt it was. Again, I think Nikki was trying
25:00
to romanticize that character as well as like this, he's just mysterious as hell
25:06
and we don't know what the hell to make of him. Or do you
25:07
think maybe it's because they gave us that They gave us that little bit of
25:11
information at the beginning of the movie that he had health problems. I mean,
25:14
he had health problems throughout his life, and they kind of highlighted They
25:18
didn't do a good job highlighting them, but they highlighted it at certain points
25:21
in the movie. And I was thinking, watching it the second time,
25:23
maybe they're trying to show us that he's uncomfortable, maybe, you know,
25:29
because of his physical ailments. Okay, but once Molly Crew had enough money
25:33
to start throwing like health insurance company, why did he not just go get
25:37
treatment? My god, I know, like when they're like hills drinking champagne
25:44
and he's laying there like a corpse, Like why does this somebody go,
25:48
hey, we have two billion dollars, let's go get this guy fixed.
25:51
For God's sake. He plays a cart in our band. Jesus, where
25:55
was that the outrage? Like, okay, Mick, time to hop up
25:59
and get the doctor. Good. So true because he's essentially the sound of
26:03
the band, him and Vince Neil's voice, you know, they are the
26:04
sound of the band completely, and his character confused me big time. Yea,
26:11
the whole movie. Um there's one more person we have to talk about,
26:15
drummer before before we got to get some some scenes and some things we
26:19
noticed. Um I Tommy Lee's character, I thought was, I'm not sure
26:26
if I'm not sure if NICKI hates or likes Tommy Lee. I'll be honest.
26:30
Um, he really portrayed him as just this total dork and annoying and
26:37
annoying who kind of puppy dog eyed his way into the band. Yeah.
26:41
Um. And in terms of like leaps in character development, character I'm using
26:47
the term character development very lightly with this movie, but I will say his
26:51
leap from being the innocent like Mama's boy to this road this road warrior maniac,
26:57
that's the thing. Yeah, It's like it's like where, where's the
27:00
development of it? Yeah? It just literally isn't explained, and the path
27:03
there just isn't shown at all. He turns into this this savage on the
27:07
road. It's such a weird, like, I don't I know, he
27:12
was this dough i'e kind of like he you know, could fall in love
27:17
easily that I wanted to be in love. Yeah, and and and I
27:22
also got the sense that, oh, he was truly in love with Nikki
27:25
six, you know, which just happened in past films where like really in
27:29
the love affair, but again now in a crappy movie, like this,
27:33
you try and explore that and it gets lost immediately because the writing's bad and
27:37
the directing is bad and the actors are awful. But and again, Tommy
27:42
Lee's character, knowing what we know now, like that was probably the lost.
27:48
Uh. They could have probably explored that more. But they that's really
27:52
where they failed in this movie, where his character is just I don't understand
27:56
the point of it yet. They didn't get into his big hog, his
27:59
big dick. But we did see his heinie a couple of times. Oh
28:03
yes, we did. Speaking to Tommy Lee the scene it was about eight
28:08
minutes and fifty five seconds into the movie, close like right before the nine
28:15
minute mark, we're introduced to him, and that scene him and his family,
28:21
his parents, his nerdy parents, his middle class home where he came
28:23
from. He's in his bedroom, he's got a bunch of stuff, got
28:26
a bunch of posters on his wall. I think there's a fair faucet poster
28:30
on his wall. And it's right around that time, that eight minute and
28:33
fifty five second mark, he's looking in the mirror at himself getting ready to
28:37
go out on have a night on the town, and he's you know,
28:41
wearing his sister's spandex and stuff like that. But for some reason, if
28:45
you look at that particular scene when he's looking in the mirror, for some
28:49
reason, he has a hand drawn picture of a guy who looks like a
28:52
farmer right next to his mirror. I saw that. It makes no sense
28:56
at all. He's got all this crapple versus walls, and it looks like
29:00
somebody took just a white piece of paper eight and a half eleven eight and
29:04
a half by eleven piece of paper and just drew what looks like a farmer
29:08
with overalls and put it right next to the mirror. It's in the freaking
29:11
shot for some reason. It's terrible. His rooms very confusing because at the
29:18
time I'm thinking he's like twenty or twenty one, right and still living with
29:22
his parents. Yeah, but that that room looks like that of a fourteen
29:26
year old fourteen year old boy, yeah, yeah, like if if if
29:30
he was a sports dorc like us, it'd be filled with you know,
29:33
posters or Randall Cunningham and Reggie White. But it doesn't make sense that he's
29:38
twenty one and his room looks like that. Again, his character is so
29:44
far off. It doesn't his character doesn't make any sense. And just I
29:49
love movies like this when everything has to be so obligatory so even idiots can
29:53
understand it. Yeah, like Bohemian Rhapsody was for stupid people. I'm sorry
29:57
if anyone out there listening like that movie. I'm not saying you're stupid,
30:02
but it's a kind of movie you turn your brain off and just enjoy it.
30:04
This movie like just didn't even try to like like, Okay, Tommy
30:11
is childish, we got it. Oh he lives with his parents, got
30:14
it. His dad is like, oh shucks, gee boy, Like he's
30:18
like everything about it is like, oh my god, we get it,
30:21
Like yours over the head with the extremes that Tommy is a childish guy,
30:26
even down to the bedroom where I did, I didn't notice that picture.
30:29
And when I watched it the fourth time, I'm gonna I'm gonna try and
30:32
notice that I didn't notice that. But yeah, it goes right along with
30:34
oh yeah, he's a little kid, we got it. Yeah. Yeah,
30:37
here's here's another we got it part of the movie. The one that
30:41
I had referenced earlier was they they had to have at least two scenes where
30:47
the band was getting blow jobs under a table at that bar or the restaurant.
30:51
It's like, Okay, we get it. The girls wanted your penis
30:53
because you're rock stars. It was so freaking annoying. Did they really need
30:57
to waste time telling us weis that they were getting blown under the tables at
31:02
that bar and restaurant. I think that was Nikki six like putting his dick
31:07
on the table and going yeah, we did this. Yeah. In here,
31:11
everybody like like after the first time, you're like, okay, we
31:15
got it. Like there's a lot of we got it moments um. And
31:18
if you've ever read the I never read the book, but I've heard it's
31:19
just filled with them. It's just them bragging about, yeah, we got
31:23
laid a lot, we did a lot of drugs, and and and and
31:27
our music's extreme and like like and and I should have I should have known
31:32
that that would have been portrayed in the film. And it's a Netflix movie,
31:37
so it's obviously it wasn't done tastefully. Yeah, and there's plenty of
31:41
those moments, um, But it was two scenes where they were getting blown
31:44
under the under the table, and it's like, why, why do you
31:45
need two scenes for this, it's the same scene. You know what?
31:48
At that point, just do ten, Just do ten scenes like that,
31:52
like just bringing different characters, like bringing the lead singer from White Snake.
31:56
Oh, there's a lading under the table. Yeah, you didn't know,
32:00
Like, like, why not just make a whole movie of that'd be hilarious.
32:02
Right. What did you think about the scene with Ozzy Osbourne? I'll
32:09
give you my take after you. What do you think? What are your
32:14
thoughts? I had a section to my notes after watching it the third time
32:17
called Biggest Gripes and one of my top ones is Ozzie and the portrayal of
32:23
Ozzie. Um. When someone is so like like I know Molly Crue,
32:29
but Ozzie is Ozzie's an icon, like Ozzy, Ozzie is Azzias, Like
32:37
I know Ozzy Gean, but I don't know any other Azzi and it they
32:42
should they shouldn't even try to have portrayed them in the film. It's just
32:46
so fake. It's just an actor with a bad wig and Ozzie's bad tattoos.
32:52
You could tell the guy's tattoos were drawn on. He pulled his robe
32:57
thing up and showed his Wiener to pe ball and he saw his bide.
33:00
But the whole time he's just thinking, like, that's not Ozzy. Like
33:05
I can accept that you guys aren't molly Crue, but just don't do Azzy
33:09
It just I can't. I can suspend disbelief because I am a huge fan
33:15
of really shitty movies, but that one, that was the one I was
33:17
like, I can't get past this one. It's too much. People who
33:21
know music and people who no metal history, no Ozzy Osbourne. They know
33:25
his past, they know things that he has done off stage, and he's
33:30
an icon because of it. It's not that it's necessarily celebrated, but it's
33:36
part of who he was and what he meant to the music and metal scene.
33:39
But that scene where Ozzie's just they just have him out there pissing on
33:45
the ground right by a swimming pool and then he starts licking it up.
33:50
Like the actual scene itself is kind of awkward, not the pissing part and
33:53
the whole licking it up, but the actual directed scene of the people there
33:59
at the hotel around the swimming pool. You have some old people, you
34:01
know, some girls in bikinis with like fake boobs and stuff. There's hardly
34:06
anybody there. There's like maybe a dozen people there. It's like nobody knew
34:09
that Ozzy Osborne Motley Crue were staying there. Again, that goes back to
34:14
the writing and directing of this movie. But just to make Ozzie, Like,
34:20
if they wanted to bring Ozzy Osborne into the movie, just create and
34:22
write a different part for him. He just doesn't have to piss on the
34:25
ground and lick it up or snort ants like they did. That's all they
34:30
did. It was totally not It wasn't necessary. It just wasn't necessary to
34:36
have an Ozzy Osborne character in this movie. Well what if you know anything
34:40
about the band and metal music, like them touring with Ozzie and him snorting
34:46
the snance sorry snorting the ants and then the piss Like it's actually a famous
34:51
metal story. Yeah, but the Netflix crowd doesn't know it. You didn't
34:57
have to do it, like you could have put it in another famous we
35:00
got fucked up with somebody's story, Like like what White, I'm sure they
35:06
got messed up with Lemmy at some point in their lives, Like why couldn't
35:08
you do that? Although portraying let me pretty absurd too. Um I just
35:14
I'm not sure why, Like I would have avoided the ones where the icons
35:17
were portrayed and you're just like that, that's not Auzzy, that's some shitty
35:22
actor with a bad blonde nineteen eighty two Azziwig terrible accent. That was the
35:30
worst part. You couldn't get a guy from Birmingham, England to do the
35:32
freaking act like to so the accent was at least right. No, I
35:36
was like, listen to him mits like when when when did Azzi come from
35:42
New Zealand? Like when did that happen? Oh my god, I haven't
35:46
I have another couple of pet peeves here too, but like, what are
35:51
some of your other girls? What do you have? Any more gripes before
35:53
I get to one of mine here, I've got a couple, um and
35:57
then I'll get Then we got to get to our favorite scene after that.
36:00
Okay, well, we've already talked about Razzle's introduction. That's one of my
36:04
top three favorite scenes, the Tommy's Hulkimania shirt in the beginning it's nineteen eighty
36:13
two. He took one of my favorite parts. Yes, it's eighty two
36:17
Hulkimania was not a thing until eighty three, so there's no goddamn way Tommy
36:22
Lee was wearing a Hulkimania shirt in nineteen eighty two. That actually bothered me.
36:25
And I'm pretty sure I text you guys at that point saying this movie's
36:30
bullshit and the Hulkimania shirt ruined the whole movie. I love that you took
36:36
one of mine right there. Oh my god, here's what. Here's what
36:39
really bothered me. This is one thing that really, are we to believe
36:44
that, in their very first like gig at some club, that Tommy Lee
36:50
is such a clutch that he knocks over the symbol before even before anyone plays
36:54
a note of any song whatsoever. We're to believe that he knocks over the
36:59
symbol and it's clutsy fashion, and then the crowd starts heckling, which I
37:05
can get that. Then it turns into a full on fucking brawl where people
37:10
are just beating the shit out of everybody, and then all of a sudden,
37:14
the fight stops. It's over. There's utter silence, and then some
37:16
guy in the back of the room just shouts out and screams, Fucky Motley
37:22
crew, and then he starts clapping. Everybody starts clapping. Oh, and
37:27
then it's fun. They get back on the stage and then it's a full
37:30
on night of hair glam metal partying. Are we supposed to believe that actually
37:35
happened? What the fuck again? It's the absurdity that you have to fit
37:39
into an hour and forty seven. Like the legend of Molly Crew occurred in
37:45
a minute and a half at their first show. Yeah, like like Timmy
37:50
Lee hit his symbol and the whole thing, his whole drum kid exploded somehow,
37:53
Like like nobody screwed anything in he just started. He did one thing
37:58
in the whole everything just went to shit? Did in some asshole in the
38:00
backyield Molu Crew? Like I know they had to build up the legend of
38:05
Mony Crew, but like, did it really have to take thirty seconds to
38:07
happen? Yeah? Like that was that was really? I completely agree that
38:10
was. That was ridiculous. Um let me get to my next one quick.
38:15
Um. Pete Davidson is in this movie the comedian. Yeah, just
38:19
are we under your favorite parts? No? Okay still grows okay, um
38:24
or maybe my favorite because I'm a huge fan of bad acting. He might
38:29
be the worst actor I've ever seen, like, like no joke, Like
38:34
I know he was trying to play kind of a goofy manager trying to get
38:37
into the club and stuff. But even that, like he's just a bad,
38:43
bad actor. And I don't hate Pete Davidson, Like I know,
38:45
the mainstream hates him because he dates women. So I don't really understand it
38:51
because he dates women. Well, I like he dated Ariana Grande, like
38:55
yeah, but like I I've always thought it actually kind of funny. And
39:00
but in this movie, like he he he sticks out like not a sore
39:06
thumb, but a sore hand, like the whole hand. He really really
39:09
sucks. Yeah. Yeah, and he actually took away from a bad movie.
39:15
I'm actually kind of happy he's in it because I mean the acting is
39:17
really bad, but you have to have someone who's really really bad. Um,
39:22
he's not their manager, she's that he's the guy that signed signed them.
39:24
Yeah, the guy that plays their manager is actually a really good actor.
39:28
Um, he was the best one in the movie. But the guy
39:30
played mut Lang. Yeah, he never should have been in this movie because
39:35
he outshines everybody and every scene and you're just like you should have got like
39:39
God, who's out there, like get Emilo Estevez or something like just get
39:43
an actor who hasn't been around along like he was too good of an actor
39:46
like Pete Davison really really sucks and for some reason they made him was like
39:50
Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Yeah, I didn't I'd understand that at all.
39:53
Um, that's I'm trying to think. That's kind That's kind of my my
39:59
biggest gripes right there. Besides the the Vince and his daughter was just gross.
40:04
I I don't don't try and tug at my heart strings in a in
40:08
a bad movie. Yeah, and just just the it's just the overall transition
40:14
from Razzle's death to Vince's prison cell to Nikki six and heroin Tommy losing his
40:20
mind like literally happened like ten minutes of the movie, Like just such a
40:24
transition. Like any actual filmmaker would watch it and I know it's a joke
40:30
movie, but like they'd be like, what, you can't do this,
40:32
this is not how storytelling works. Like it's unbelievable. All right, what
40:38
were some of what were some of your best because I have one that was
40:42
like what it's probably gonna be you're probably gonna think it's bizarre, but for
40:45
me being a guitarist, um, it was one of my favorite parts.
40:49
But I'll let you go for like, what was one of your favorite parts
40:52
that I mean, of course it's awful, but like just so so ridiculous
40:57
that it was great. Okay, Well, we talked about the interest induction
41:00
of Razzle. The introduction of the manager was great because he looks right at
41:05
the camera and again, he's a much better actor than everybody else, and
41:09
he just out acts everybody in his introduction and it's like, I would not
41:14
have done that as a director because it just makes everyone else looks so shitty.
41:17
Yeah, but by far my favorite scene, it's the scene we quoted
41:22
over and over to each other after we watched it is when Nikki six is
41:27
in the ambulance and he overdosed and there's two paramedics back there with him and
41:35
the one I hope I never get the one paramedic if I'm ever in an
41:39
ambulance because the guy like Nicky six is out and the you know, the
41:45
one paramedic goes but I guess he's dead time of death and he just starts
41:50
take you know, Nikki six is alive and and this this paramedics going time
41:53
at death. But the other paramedic who might be the best actor of all
41:58
time is this guy. He just his partner there he goes time of death
42:05
and he just goes, no, no, no, man, this is
42:07
Nicky fucking six. He ain't gonna die my ambulance. He ain't gonna die
42:12
on my watch, my watch, And he just starts jamming needles into his
42:15
chest. And it's just the weirdest, Like I know, as a paramedic,
42:22
would you even know who NICKI six was in like nineteen eighty eight or
42:25
eighty six, whatever year it was like, but just he goes for it's
42:30
so hard, Like I give the guy credit. He's like, you know
42:35
what, I'm in this bad movie. I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna I'm gonna
42:37
act my ass off and go for another part and just nahna man, not
42:42
my watch, and just starts punching him in the chest with like those needles
42:46
the savior heroin life needles from like pulp fiction and to life. But that
42:52
that guy deserves an oscar before the guy from Bohemian rapsod he does. That's
42:55
for damn chore. I love it. Oh, that's great. Well.
43:00
On one of my favorite parts of this movie that was awful was it was
43:05
the whole scene where the guy who's trying out to be the guitarist, the
43:09
initial guy, the first guy, that blonde guy before Mick Mars comes into
43:15
the picture. They're trying to play their instruments with him and it's just kind
43:20
of not working out. But I asked them as a guitarist, you know,
43:23
don't you think they would have known right when they met him if he
43:28
was going to be a good fit for the band or not. As somebody
43:31
who has been in bands. And in fact, when I was down in
43:34
Washington many many years ago, I actually tried out for a band and I
43:37
literally knew about two songs in. They had me learn five songs. I
43:43
knew two songs in that it just wasn't going to work. There's just a
43:46
certain demeanor. There's just this certain vibe that you get when you're playing your
43:52
instruments with other people that something's gonna either either work and it's gonna be fun,
43:57
or it's gonna seem like it's too much work. And that's what was
44:02
going on with that scene. It was a lot of too much work,
44:06
And like I said, don't you think they would have known if the guy
44:09
was going to be a good fit for the band? Just kind of like
44:13
they made it seem like they'd been trying to play together for so long here
44:15
at least during the afternoon or whatever it was. I mean, and they
44:20
of course the movie intentionally makes this guy look awkward and not even in the
44:24
realm of possibility that it would be a good fit for the band. And
44:28
and can you have NICKI six and Tommy Lee talking outside, it's just saying
44:35
this is what they said. I just don't see him being a good fit
44:37
for the band. I can't put my finger on it. Really, you
44:40
can't put your finger on it. The guy's a dork, is not what
44:45
you are portraying. Just awful writing and directing. But it was so good
44:50
too because of the sheer stupidity of it. Eric Well, and it was
44:53
heavy handed directing, like just the immediately the juxtaposition of the too. They're
45:00
in all black, they're going for it hard, and this blonde schlub in
45:06
a blue and white flannel flannel like you just and his guitar is way too
45:12
high. It's like nipple high. Yes, like you just know your your
45:15
guitar has gotta be down by your knees in a band like that. Ye.
45:19
Like as soon as you see him, you're like, Okay, me
45:22
as a viewer, I know he's not gonna make it. Do we have
45:23
to keep going with this and we have to have this scene where they go
45:28
out in the porch. You go, I don't know if this guy's gonna
45:30
do it, Like we get it. The guy sucks like he's a door
45:32
the blind was. I can't put my finger on it. Look at him.
45:37
He sucks like he looks like he should be in a Grateful Dead cover
45:40
band. Like it was like again, like I as soon as he walked,
45:45
as soon as they go to the scene, you're like, well,
45:46
he's not gonna be in the bank on like like to have the scene of
45:52
I'm not sure. And then of course as they're talking, Mick Mars pulls
45:55
up Zoom in the car right on cue and it's like, oh my god,
46:00
this movie sucks, but I love I absolutely love it. Yeah,
46:02
he pulled up, miserable, he pulled up in his crypt car and like,
46:08
oh that's great. What else do you have here? The only thing
46:14
else I Have is an underrated funny scene in the movie that I actually laugh
46:19
at, and like, not not laugh because it's bad, because actually made
46:22
me laugh. Was the Tommy Heather wedding scene. Yeah. Like, and
46:29
and they do play up the Tommy's in love with Nikki thing in that scene,
46:32
but just how screwed up the band is. And I actually believe that.
46:36
I'm sure the band was all kinds of fucked up when that wedding happened,
46:39
and they do portray pretty well. Um, but just the photo,
46:44
the wedding picture taken and the band's just all fucked up and Tommy's looking at
46:47
Nikki. I actually do laugh for real at that scene. It is kind
46:52
of funny. Um. And I put it into my favorite scenes not because
46:54
it sucks, because I actually made me laugh. Yeah. And at the
46:59
end of the movie, they actually take the real picture that was taken from
47:02
that wedding with the guys in the band and put it with the one where
47:05
they did it in the movie, and it was kind of it was like
47:07
off. It was completely off. Though from a ridiculous standpoint, It's like,
47:12
boy, they really overacted this, oh big time. I mean you
47:15
were supposed to. I guess you're supposed to know that they hate each other
47:19
at that point. Yeah, and there's a huge riff in the band.
47:21
But man, I'll be I'll be on it. Poor John Karabi, I
47:25
mean, he just he was portrayed and just the worst. I'm hoping he
47:30
watched it and was like, come on, guys, I could talk like
47:34
I had a like I have a tongue, I could speak like he was
47:37
portrayed like a mute. Yes, even it is hilarious. Oh that's great,
47:45
what a great Oh man, what a great show this was here,
47:47
This was fun. Oh my god. They gotta have Netflix has to put
47:51
out more awfulness. Dude. They marketed the shit out of this freaking thing.
47:54
And oh my god, I couldn't wait. I couldn't wait only because
48:00
people I respect, actual musicians on Twitter we're talking about it and just saying
48:07
you have to watch this. It's not good, but you have to fucking
48:10
watch this. And when I finally did one night and just had a couple
48:15
of beers by myself watching, I was like, oh my god, my
48:19
boys and I have to watch this together. This is so good. It's
48:22
right at their valley again. It's good, bad, and bad and bad
48:27
and bad bad. If you haven't seen any please go watch it and don't
48:31
expect, I mean expect to be entertained, but don't expect to be like,
48:36
oh, this is a great piece of arts. That is the case
48:39
exactly. All right, Well, I think that's gonna do it part Do
48:43
you have anything else before we head out of here? No, I think
48:46
we got to find something else to review. Did our part on We did
48:52
our part one of the YouTube video critiques, so part two is going to
48:55
be coming up at some point in the future here, bro, But we
48:59
need to find something else to like a good bad or bad bad movie and
49:02
maybe like go through even maybe sports related, because there's plenty of those.
49:07
There are tons of tons of content out there. We got to figure that
49:10
out, all right, everybody. Well again, to our Patreon subscribers,
49:15
thank you so much for supporting us here. We really do appreciate it.
49:19
I hope you've been enjoying this. Let us know what you think. Feedback
49:22
at Philadelphia Sports Table dot com as you know, let us know what you're
49:25
thinking about these podcast shows, and if there's any type of subject matter that
49:30
you want us to get into. Hey, listen, you're paying five bucks
49:34
a month for it, and we want to give you the type of content
49:37
that you want, so again, reach out to us feedback at Philadelphia Sportstable
49:40
dot com at Philadelphia PST as you know out there. So that's gonna do
49:45
it for Eric and myself. Take care, we'll catch you next time. Everybody,