Latest / The Parent Tap / Only 1-2% Ever Recover: How to Stop Trafficking Before It Starts

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Only 1-2% Ever Recover: How to Stop Trafficking Before It Starts · The Parent Tap

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Look for the creepy guy in the white van.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying that doesn't exist, but the majority of people who are trafficked were not kidnapped.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: It can happen, but it's a lot more rare.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Usually what we see is that grooming process and relationship building over time.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of time we focus on restoration after trafficking has occurred, which is good.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: We need that.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: But this surprised me to learn when I first started working here a few years ago.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Only one to two percent of individuals who are trafficked are ever fully recovered and restored.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Only one to two percent.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Can you repeat that?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's because that was so jarring.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: This data thread I ran across, it has 433 parents arguing over whether Roblox is an effective grooming site.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Is this a real fear?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And what does a parent do about gaming apps without completely just nuking their kids' social life?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's a really good question.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: I will say there's mixed messaging out there.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: So there are some experts in the field that'll say, just stay off of social media and online gaming altogether.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's not the approach we take with my organization, the Set Me Free Project.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: But Roblox is the exception for me.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's the one where I'm nope, just stay off of it completely.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I think there is a risk with any online interaction, whether it's social media, online gaming, whatever that looks like, whatever platform.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: But Roblox is a little notorious for some grooming and things like that happening.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's so hard because something like Roblox can pop up and no one really knows much about it at first.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times we won't know how dangerous something can be until much later.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think it's really important for parents to just be aware.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: We always talk about know where your kids are in the real world, but know where they are online too, and have open conversation because that's going to be one of the biggest protective factors you can have is open dialogue with kids where they actually want to invite you into what they're doing.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: But is it kind of that same way too with like all the games and the social media?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I think yes and no.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: So it, I mean, the world is so different now.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's how kids connect is through phone, through social media, through gaming, depending on what they're most interested in.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I agree that taking their phone is like taking access to friends.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: We don't hang out the same ways that we did when I was growing up.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so it is an important thing, but I think that it's also dependent on what your kid can handle.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: So what I always say to parents is you're the expert on your kid.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so maybe they are ready for full access to social media.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they're not.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think you are setting your kid up to fail if you give them a smartphone with full access to everything right from the beginning.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: You need to kind of train them and teach them how to navigate it.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, totally.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I love that approach into it.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: But what's the real early pattern where what's the single first move that protects a kid before it escalates?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it starts out so small, it can be hard to catch.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: So one good rule of thumb is you don't play with someone that you don't know in the physical world.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I think that is one big way to protect, just right off the bat, is if we have not met face to face, we're not gonna play online together.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Now, does that prevent everything?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, that for the majority of cases, when there is sexual abuse and things of that nature, it's someone that you already know.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so grooming can take on a lot of different appearances.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: But when we're talking about online interactions, this is someone who is gathering information.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so I say make your information hard to gather.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe that means I'm not playing with my microphone on because I don't want you to hear what's going on in the background of my family.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Things as small as talking about the weather can give a clue as to where you're located and be something to fall back on later.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really a sensitive, tricky thing.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: But when that grooming process is starting, the first phase is kind of that gathering information, building trust.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so it'll be, yes, I understand you.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: Let's find what we have in common.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's also the way a friendship starts.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why I say in the beginning, it can be very tricky to see the differences there.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: But what you'll see when it starts to change is that there'll be some isolation too.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so maybe it will be something like your family really doesn't seem to understand you like I understand you.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: And watch out for those types of patterns where they're trying to create some distance between people that have been your trusted people in the past.
• 4:29
  unknown: Yeah.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's something big to watch out for.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's a good, because like you said, the signs are similar to just a normal friendship.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so alarming to know that a lot of the sexual abuse happens with somebody that knows you too, that you mentioned that as well.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so all these things are just great tips and things to worry about or to look out for.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: These conversations can start really early too.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I I've talked a little bit with my five-year-old.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, what they understand at five and what they understand at 10 is a completely different world.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: But just laying that foundation of not everyone who acts nice is nice.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: And you can start in small increments, and that looks different for every family and for every child.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: But I think we should be talking about these things so early that they can't remember when we had the first conversation.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: It should just be small and consistent.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Makes it more alarming for me is oh man, who do you even trust at this stage beyond just mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, those kinds of people.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: And something I always like to teach when I'm talking with kids and teens and even parents, really, is we don't want to trust based on roles, but we want to trust based on behavior.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so we can say typically a teacher is safe, but not always.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I can't trust in that teacher role.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: What I can trust is based on what they are consistently doing.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: So if this is a person who has said something that makes me feel uncomfortable, just because I've trusted you before, you don't get to keep my trust always.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it's something that can shift over time.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: So we just want to be watching behaviors.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: And even if it's someone who we are supposed to believe in or be safe with, that may not be the case.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so we just want to be watching for that.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And what I encourage is when we start these conversations, I mean, the earlier the better.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: And if someone's listening to this now, oh my goodness, my teenager is 17.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't start early enough.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Don't worry.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: You can start at any time.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: But I do think the earlier we can talk, the better.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And we can have this open dialogue with our kids to where they know you're not going to get in trouble for telling me.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that is one thing that people who intend to do harm kind of count on.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is maybe our kid has broken a rule right before they got into this uncomfortable situation.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: You need to let them know you're not going to be punished for telling me the truth.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: So even if you went on a website, you weren't supposed to.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care about that.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: I want to help you.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you maybe snuck out of the house, that's okay.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Still call me.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here to support you.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so removing some of those barriers can really help.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: For the parent right now, kind of just listening to this, their day-to-day life, they're busy.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what does that mean?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, can you put that into terms?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: What how do we stop trafficking before it even starts?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: So that yeah, our whole thing is to get on that prevention side.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so what we do is we spread accurate information because there are a lot of misconceptions about trafficking and what that looks like.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so if we're looking for the wrong thing, we're not going to see it when it's right in front of us.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so the Set Me Free Project is all about getting out accurate information community-wide.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: So we talk to kids as young as kindergarten.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, we're not talking about trafficking necessarily at that age, but we kind of lay the groundwork with consent and how do you know if someone is trustworthy?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: And we talk, I mean, all the way up through adding information as it's age appropriate, and then to adults in different industries.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: So, what does trafficking look like in the hospitality industry?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Or what does it look like in the financial industry?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: What are some transactions that can flag that?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because we believe that to stop this, it's gonna take all of us paying attention.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: We have to know what to look for.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's really what we're passionate about.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: And what drew you to kind of working into a life of child advocacy and what what was the moment that you realized this is your calling?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: It was very unexpected for me.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: I had a background in writing curriculum and I loved educating children already.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I saw the Set Me Free Project, the director of programming, and so I do all things curriculum and training.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so when I saw that there was a need there and I just started looking into what the Set Me Free Project does, I thought, yes, I have to be a part of this because it takes my love for education and combines it with something so needed and overlooked, but it just drives the need for prevention in my mind so much more of let's talk about this, let's stop it, let's have a community that's looking out for what is going on and can spot some red flags.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So what are some of those misconceptions you talked about and common mistakes that you think parents are making when they're having these conversations with their kids?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we teach our kids stranger danger, which I'm not saying it's altogether a bad concept, but when that's all we talk to them about, they are not prepared for when it's someone that they know.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: So that's one way that as parents we can shift our language and talk more about people who want to do harm.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: So a person, and we try to stay away from the word predator when we're educating because it gives us a mental image of what that person looks like.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to shatter that because the predator could be your mom's, your mom's friend, or it could be a cousin.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: It could be someone who you don't necessarily think fits that mental image.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we educate, we talk about a person who wants to do harm.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so, what does that look like?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: We can't know who they are based on the role that they have in our life, but on what they do.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: So is this a person who respects my boundaries or not?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: If they're not, that's a cue.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so this, these are the kind of conversations that I have with my kids of your no should be respected.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's not, you come tell me.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: And things like that are so important.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Help them build their consent muscle and let them know that this could be someone that you haven't met before.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Kidnappings do happen and we want to be prepared for that.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: But when we're looking at trafficking specifically, it's more than likely someone who has been a part of our community already that we're familiar with.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: So anyone who's crossing boundaries that needs to be handled.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone who is making you uncomfortable, come tell me, and you're not gonna get in trouble for that.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's okay if there's someone who I consider a good person.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: If they don't feel safe to you, I want you to tell.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, how does that change and how is that transformed?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And how what do we parents need to be aware of?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: What are the tech patterns that parents are just missing altogether?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Really good question.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think the best thing you can do is just pay attention to what is new because as soon, it seems like as soon as we figure out what's going on one app, there's another app already trending.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so just trying to pay attention.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll say this too: you can't stress yourself out about knowing the ins and outs of every single thing because you're never going to.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: So just let that unrealistic expectation go.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna understand every single app that's out there, every single game that's out there, but know what your child likes.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: So if you can't know it all, just know it's important to them.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I have a child who really likes TikTok, I'm gonna be on TikTok.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna understand how it works, I'm gonna know what that looks like.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have conversations.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: And this isn't a conversation where I'm grilling my child on, well, what are you watching?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Who do you follow?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's not gonna be like that.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: This needs to feel more approachable.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so, hey, look, I saw this funny video.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Have you seen this?
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: And let conversation naturally flow.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: The biggest thing we can do is just be that safe person.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: But I think I mentioned earlier, we want to be careful of having microphones on when we're gaming.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: That I would mix all together or limit it to people that we know in the real world and know what's going on with that when it's happening.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: I do think that taking phones at night is a fabulous idea.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: We tend to be a little bit more open and trusting when we're tired, and we tend to make a little bit less wise decisions when we're tired.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think it's a good idea to just, nope, we have this during the day, and at night it's gonna go right here in charge, and you can get it back in the morning.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: Same thing with games.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: That also allows you to supervise a little bit better.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're not gonna be with them every second of the day.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: I also, this is a rule that I had growing up that I intend to do for my kids too.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that people may feel differently about this, but when I was growing up, there was an understanding of as long as I'm paying for the phone, I can check the phone when I want to.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I intend to do with my kids too.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm not gonna take it from you and I don't need to know the ins and outs of every single conversation you're having with your friends.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: But if I feel like something's going on, I'm gonna check it.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: And just having that expectation out front, that way they're not caught off guard.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because if that's something that you've never talked about and then all of a sudden you're taking the device, that can feel like a huge invasion of privacy.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so I feel like everything I'm saying just comes back to that open communication.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think there's a like a like a cadence for the phone checks, or is it more of a spontaneous, oh, I suspect something, or I have a bad kind of intuition gut feeling on this thing?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: How would you how would you approach that for parents?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: I do think it is a little bit more individual.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: So it kind of depends on the age of your child, what they have access to, how regularly you all are talking.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: So if this is maybe you have a relationship where you all say everything to each other and then you've noticed your child's distant, that sparks alarm bells for me.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: I would want to check into what's going on.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: If but what I will say is don't get on a predictable pattern because kids are smart.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you check it the first day of every month, there's not going to be anything to see the first day of every month, even if there is something that you should be aware of.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and the other thing is if you're taking a phone, we want to take all the devices at the same time because some parents may not know that you can delete history from one device to another.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I'm looking through the phone, I'll take the phone, the laptop, the tablet, whatever there is at the same time, check it, give it back.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I would let them know too, this is not anything on you.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: This is not me saying you're bad or that I suspect you of doing something wrong.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is me making sure everything's safe.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I trust you.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think this is really important to tell them, I trust you, but other people in the world are not trustworthy.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: This does not reflect poorly on you.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's an important message for sure.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: And for survivors, let's talk about the generation that have unfortunately experienced some of the trafficking or the sexual assaults or whatever abuse, the kidnapping, whatever, then they're bringing that with them as a parent now and they have their kids.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: But for those people that have that have dealt with maybe the their own experiences with trafficking or some of some of the darker themes we talked about, how would you, or what what would you recommend for them?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I'm getting at generational trauma too.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: How do we avoid from passing some of that down to our own kids?
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's a tough question.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's so individual that it's hard to lay a blanket answer.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: One thing I'll say is for any survivor talking about their experience, make sure you're doing it from a place of healing.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I were to talk to my children about a traumatic experience that I've had, I would not want to share kind of the nitty-gritty details of what happened, but we can use it as a powerful tool for prevention.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so if we want to talk about this is the way that this happened, maybe it was I had a family friend and this is what the grooming process looked like for me.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: And this is when I realized, and then this is why I didn't do this, or this is why I did that.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think using it as an example, as a teaching tool can be beneficial, but we want to stay away from some of those harder detail parts of the story.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: I also want to talk about your personal life.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: So you, so how do you how do you handle all that, like dealing with kind of the heavy work that you do and then coming home to your two young kids and raising them?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Just like you do, we've had conversations that I never planned on having because once I realize, okay, this type of threat is out there, I want to prepare them.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I will say too that we have had conversations that I didn't expect from getting work calls.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so I try to, if I'm having a conversation, I know I'm gonna have a conversation that they don't need to hear.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: I try to make sure they're in the other room or away.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: But every now and then they will be in the room with me when I'm having a conversation and I try to edit my language because they are so young.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: But we've talked about okay, what does human trafficking mean?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: Because they've heard the term now and how kids they hear a word and they start trying to test it out.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: My daughter was doing that, just using it in conversation.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what that means.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: I need to tell you what that means.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so it has led to me responding to my kids in a little bit of a different way and trying to protect them.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Also, things like I do not post my children's pictures on social media at all because I've seen some of the things that can happen with pictures and that scares me.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's changed the way that I've responded.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I have a hard time compartmentalizing as well.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: I think for me, the most beneficial thing has just been remembering the why and seeing my kids as an extension of that.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: So whenever it all starts to feel a little too heavy, I just think about okay, by doing what I'm doing, that means that this awful, terrible thing will not happen to this person and it will not happen to them.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: And just really keeping that why at the forefront.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: That is, yeah.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: That was one of my next questions about self-care.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: How do you kind of step away from the heaviness and kind of recharge your batteries and then come back fresh?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that what you said is is just so, yeah, no, that's so important.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's just to just to do and you brought up the social media aspect, and I totally understand that position of I don't, I don't want to let them win because that is so my natural personality too.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I totally get what you're where you're coming from.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: And my kids have not expressed a desire to record video and stuff like that.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm thankful because it would be a lot harder if it's something that they're actively doing and enjoying.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I like I sympathize there.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's difficult situation.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think for me, what I always heard as the risk before, because I used to post my kids online.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: I did the little birth announcements.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was mostly Facebook, but I'd post stuff, whatever.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: And what I had always heard was a risk before starting here was kidnapping someone finding where your family is.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that's not gonna happen to us.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: We're fine.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I wasn't really worried about that.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think the biggest motivator for me now is what AI is capable of.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so there are people out there who can take photos and images and then with AI make them do really disturbing things.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the biggest thing for me right now is okay, my kids aren't actively wanting to be online, anyways.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that scares me.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: And because my kids aren't asking to be online too, I think that's another layer for me personally, is what if one day they grow up and then they didn't want me to post what I posted about them?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's a little bit different when, you know.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but that's a layer for me.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's such a hard, it's a hard topic to navigate in one that we're really the first generation of parents to really struggle with this because of the way things have progressed.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're all just trying to do our best and find what works.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think a safe word?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: I think a safe word is a fabulous idea.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: My kids and I have one right now.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think I've used it twice, and it was get out of the situation now that we had an issue at the park.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: We have this whole thing, I'll just tell you about it really quickly.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: But we were at a park and this teenager was also at the park, and she was talking to someone on FaceTime, but she kept pointing the daughter at my the camera at my daughter, my five-year-old.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't like it.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I stepped in the way and I was like, she doesn't need to be on video.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be like that person because I'm sure it's just a teenager who's not even thinking about it, but it felt weird.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then she did it again, and she was trying to get my daughter to talk to the person that was on the other side.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I said our safe word, we got out of that park, we're done.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think safe words are good for a variety of situations.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the only problem is if you have a child that's a yapper and there's someone who will tell your safe word because we've had to switch ours because of that.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: But I can I think that's a really good that can help on online interactions, then that sort of thing too.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, it it's just there's a lot to to consider in Mull over here.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: What and what this is kind of where I want to end before we talk about your pro set me free project more in depth, but why why is this so tabooed?
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Why is the these topics?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know even like when I post stuff like this on Facebook, it's like you kind of have to blur out the words or you you can't even really why is it just such an uncomfortable conversation to have about this stuff?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we kind of destigmatize that?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like the less we talk about these kinds of things, the more of a threat potentially there is out there.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think that as far as human trafficking goes, human trafficking is very similar to how people responded to domestic violence 15 years ago.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't want to acknowledge that it exists, it's not happening.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that part of that comes from fear.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: If I acknowledge that human trafficking is a real thing, then that means that people I love could be at risk and I don't want to think about it.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: But I think the other part of that is kind of the flip side of, oh, it's not happening where I am.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: And the reality is human trafficking happens all across our country, all across the world, in big cities and small towns.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: And what a lot of people don't realize is that by pretending it doesn't exist, we're allowing it to flourish.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so what we have to do is have these hard conversations, and they are hard and it is uncomfortable, especially when we realize that people of all ages could be at risk for that.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it could be me, it could be someone I know.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a really uncomfortable thing, but that's a necessary step to solving the problem.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Can you tell the audience more about the Set Me Free Project, the Resilience and Relationships podcast, and everything else that you're working on or a part of?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: So you said it earlier, but the set me free project is all about stopping human trafficking before it starts.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's so good.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: A plethora of resources to share out and get in the hands of parents and help their kids kind of maneuver through these tough topics, but also just keeping them safe and keeping them alleviating fears, at least for me, the more information I have, the more I feel like I can I can go combat whatever.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like I feel in a better spot right now that I can go protect my kids and make sure that they grow up without worrying about all this stuff that that potentially is out there.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And uh yeah, so I feel like once you're we're armed with these knowledge, I feel like I'm in a better spot.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope the viewers and audience are too.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: And we actually have a book for parents on how to talk about this stuff.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: So it's called Talk Early, Talk Often.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: You can get it on Amazon, you can get it from our website, and I'll give you the link so we can put that out there for anyone listening.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: But it's all about how to have conversations about human trafficking, exploitation, and social media safety.