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Why You Can’t Strategy Your Way Out of Burnout with Mandy Balak · The Re.invent

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Photographers, are you ready to stop simply participating in the industry and start shaping it?
0:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm Noella Andres, a retired wedding photographer, educator, and the behind-the-scenes strategist who has worked alongside some of the biggest educators, events, and brands in the photography world.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Every other week on reInvent, we sit down with the people shaping the future of the creative space.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: From speaking coaches, Facebook ad specialists, event hosts, and marketing experts to the voices behind the brands you already know and love.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: You're also going to hear from top educators, community builders, industry leaders, and a few solo Noella episodes along the way.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: This isn't just another podcast about photography or marketing trends.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: It's about learning how to position yourself as a leader, grow your authority, and create lasting impact through the ripple effect of sharing your voice.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: Because talent may get you noticed, but leadership is what's going to lead a legacy.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to reinvent.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, everyone.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I'm really excited about this podcast.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: And I'm also, I'm not gonna lie, a little nervous.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: And if you guys have been listening to me, you know it takes a lot to get me nervous.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: But we have uh my friend Mandy Balik on today.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: And Mandy and I go way back.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: We first met in 2018, 2019.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: And so, Mandy, instead of you kind of kicking this episode off the traditional way with like a normal reading of the bio, I am going to start this episode off a little differently.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: I have to be a little difficult.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: We talk so much about revenue and followers and launches and accomplishments, almost as if they are evidence of who we are.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: And so I want you to introduce yourself without the accomplishments, without all the fancy schemancy.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: Who's Mandy?
1:44
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: Um I'm so happy to be here.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: This is a lifetime.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: Like we go way back.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: We go like three lifetimes deep at this point when you feel like it.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: Noella sent me a Google Drive screenshot from 2019 the other day, and I was like, that's where we go back.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, it used to really, it used to really intimidate me the question of like, who are you?
2:09
SPEAKER_02: Who are you?
2:10
SPEAKER_02: And I would fumble over my words and I would be like, oh, this is what I do, this is my title, this is my role, like, you know, that frantic energy, and it's like, you know, is this enough?
2:22
SPEAKER_02: And I think in 2017, uh I was I I found myself looking in the mirror and realizing that all those titles didn't exist anymore and asking myself, well, who are you?
2:34
SPEAKER_02: Who are you without that?
2:36
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's a constant exploration for me.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: So I have many titles, I have many roles, I wear many hats.
2:44
SPEAKER_02: But the thing that really drives me is helping people, you know, be the best version of themselves.
2:51
SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm a community builder.
2:54
SPEAKER_02: Uh, I'm someone that is constantly in evolution and constantly growing and constantly learning.
3:00
SPEAKER_02: Um, definitely a student of life.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: And I love to learn everything the hard way.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: So listen to the things I share and save yourself.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: Save yourself.
3:10
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm I'm not afraid to go first.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, but it at the core, you know, I I really I aim to be someone that is, you know, leading my life from my values and integrity and uh leading with love.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: Was there ever a time where you wouldn't you just didn't know how to answer that question?
3:32
SPEAKER_00: Were you by nature responding with like your accomplishments and what you're doing and who you are, what your like what your career is?
3:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and downplaying it also.
3:42
SPEAKER_02: You know, like oh, I just have this little business or I have this thing or oh, I kind of do this, like you know, it's interesting because we are so much more than what we do, like we are so much more interesting and layered and textured than our professional titles.
4:01
SPEAKER_02: And yet also we downplay the things that we create and the things that we stand up and the things that we build.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: And um, I believe that we can be really we can be really celebratory and loud about who we are, what we build, and you know what we're what we're here to do in this world, and also know that that's not all of it.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And that's that's the hard part.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: Like that's it's finding that balance.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: I know when I ran my marketing agency, there was a time I remember being at a network event, and this moment stands out for me so much where I went to go shake someone's hand and I said, Hi, I'm well curated, which was the name of my agency.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: It didn't even occur to me to say my first name because to me, no one knew who Noella was.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Everyone only knew me as the marketing agency.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: And I I remember sitting in that moment and being like, Whoa.
4:54
SPEAKER_00: And that's shortly after that, I ended up realizing that I had to shut my marketing agency down, which is what I ended up doing.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and probably why your book resonates with me so much.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I was reading it this uh morning and I was just like, ah, this is just me to a T.
5:10
SPEAKER_00: It's a little, everybody should go get it.
5:13
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm so grateful.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: You were one you're one of the first.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's so exciting and nerve-wracking again.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Um was there like you've built so many businesses over and over again that you've cared deeply about.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: I know that.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Um was there any of those businesses that you built because you felt like you had to prove something?
5:42
SPEAKER_02: Everything that I've ever built as an entrepreneur has always been driven originally from this place of that's a problem I want to solve.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: Like that's something I feel passionate about.
5:51
SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, that has been the driver.
5:55
SPEAKER_02: But then as we go get market feedback and you know, we see responses and people are commenting or buying things or not buying things or whatever, there you you start to pay attention to, you know, whether it be the applause or the validation or the lack thereof, um, or comparing and looking around.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes that vision that you had that was like so, so clear starts to shift.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: And we're like, oh, this isn't working.
6:25
SPEAKER_02: So we go into sh we go into fix it mode, or we change the colors, or we change the price, or we change how we say something.
6:34
SPEAKER_02: And we just have to be so mindful that those are still your words, that is still your vision.
6:41
SPEAKER_02: And I have found myself, I have found myself like fitting myself into boxes, or you know, saying what everyone expected from me or delivering what everyone expected from me, and it would slowly get me further and further away from my own my own mission and the direction that I set.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: And so that actually I just had to, I was like going through all my questions because you just kind of went to one of the questions I wanted to talk to you about.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to ruin the story because I want people to get the book, but there's this story that you talked about in your book where you had built date night, which I remember also very clearly from back in the day.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: You had this massive community, you had sold out events, you'd been named Startup Entrepreneur of the Year, and you walk into this meeting and someone was like, That's cute.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: How did that person like how did his opinion carry enough weight that it made you made and and this happens all the time, like makes other people question the years of hard work that we've done.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, and how did that not only did we question it, but did you pivot?
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Did did it change the trajectory of where you were?
7:58
SPEAKER_02: I felt so minimized um in that moment.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: It was like cute.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: Are you kidding me?
8:05
SPEAKER_02: You called my business cute.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: I was mad for you listening.
8:09
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, at this place, like I remember I was so audacious back then as well.
8:15
SPEAKER_02: Like that was my I that's my whole personality was this just like we are going for it, we are changing the world.
8:23
SPEAKER_02: Like the vision that I had for that business when I started out was I was gonna be Google.
8:28
SPEAKER_02: Like, I I remember I won an award for um uh startup entrepreneur of the year, and I was presenting on one of the biggest stages I still to date have ever presented in front of.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: There was a thousand people in this room, and like the dragon's den was lady was was hosting the event, and I was getting up there and I had my three minutes of of stage time, and in my pitch, trying to win venture capital money to for this business, I said, Google can't do that.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: That was my line.
9:03
SPEAKER_02: I was like, date night is going to change the world.
9:06
SPEAKER_02: Google can't do that.
9:07
SPEAKER_02: This was 2014, okay?
9:10
SPEAKER_02: So, like now we ask Alexa, like, what like what do I wear today?
9:14
SPEAKER_02: Right.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: So the the the the the irony is not lost on me.
9:20
SPEAKER_02: But the thing is, is that I had such a conviction in what I was building back then.
9:26
SPEAKER_02: And that guy, in that moment, when he said, Wow, that's a cute little business.
9:32
SPEAKER_02: Is that your full-time thing?
9:34
SPEAKER_02: I started questioning myself.
9:37
SPEAKER_02: And that was a big mistake.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: The the biggest mistake there was that I let him.
9:43
SPEAKER_02: And I started wavering, right?
9:45
SPEAKER_02: So I, you know, he he turned down my vision, my proposal for what I was offering.
9:51
SPEAKER_02: And the business model at the time was, you know, paying a subscription and and and um and also advertising on Facebook and things like that.
9:59
SPEAKER_02: He just didn't believe in that.
10:00
SPEAKER_02: He was a bit dated in, you know, traditional advertising is the way.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: And so I let that dishearten me.
10:08
SPEAKER_02: And in that moment, I decided to pivot my whole vision based on what he said.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: And I started another business.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: And so now it's 2014, and I have two startups on my hand.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: I have this media company, which really was sitting on the edge of like, we were the first influencers uh before influencing was really influencing.
10:29
SPEAKER_02: Like this was revolutionary, and I was trying to say, like, no, the future is here, it's on Instagram, it's social media marketing.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: Like, I had the vision, I was early.
10:39
SPEAKER_02: And then I was like, he said no.
10:42
SPEAKER_02: So I said, Well, I'll start a traditional magazine.
10:45
SPEAKER_02: And I started that magazine from a place of proving, from a place of I'll show you.
10:53
SPEAKER_02: And you know what?
10:55
SPEAKER_02: I built a really beautiful magazine, and I'm super proud of that work, and I still have it in my office and I look at it all the time.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: But here's what happened, here's what it cost me.
11:04
SPEAKER_02: It cost me this thing that was on the leading edge of being like maybe one of the best.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: Who knows what I could have done with it?
11:14
SPEAKER_02: Like I could have focused solely on that, invested the revenue or invested in you know, the app development I wanted to back then, invested in the team and like focused and gone hard.
11:25
SPEAKER_02: But I was split and I was splitting my energy between two businesses, two teams, all the things, and really just like spreading my energy everywhere.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: So neither business really got the full part of me.
11:37
SPEAKER_02: And I kept telling myself that they fed each other and you know, this one worked and this one worked.
11:42
SPEAKER_02: And there was a great story that I had back then.
11:44
SPEAKER_02: But looking back now, uh, that was sabotage.
11:49
SPEAKER_02: And I let him, I let him like you know, shrink me.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he did.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: Do you and then like, and I think that so many entrepreneurs out there right now probably have maybe not a guy saying that's cute, but they have similar stories, whether it's trauma from like childhood or just past relationships or exes that are, you know, telling you that you're not good enough to do this.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: Do you uh uh think or how do you know when you're making a smart decision?
12:21
SPEAKER_00: And in your case, that decision turned out to be incredible.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: But how do you know when you're making a smart decision versus when you're making yourself smaller because of this old version of you that still believes maybe there's a limit to that kind of you know, potential success that you could have?
12:41
SPEAKER_02: It really I having conviction in yourself is so important.
12:46
SPEAKER_02: And that comes down to trusting yourself, right?
12:49
SPEAKER_02: It comes down to it comes, you know, we we're so good at collecting evidence for all the reasons why we should count ourselves out.
12:57
SPEAKER_02: We're so good at collecting evidence for all the ways that we screwed something up.
13:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, tell me the last time, right before you went to bed, you're like, wow, I did so many awesome things today and I crushed it.
13:08
SPEAKER_02: And oh my gosh, I'm so proud of all the things that I did, and these are all the things that went well.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: Like, no, we're trained to be to look at the opposite and look at here's all the loops that are left undone, here's all the ways I could have said that better, here's all the things I didn't do, here's how I fucked that up.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: And we're so hard on ourselves, right?
13:27
SPEAKER_02: So we have this bank of evidence within us that we are wrong and that we are not good enough, and that we're not talented enough and not qualified enough and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah enough.
13:39
SPEAKER_02: And when we work on strengthening the other part of that, the bank of evidence that shows us that we can, that shows us what we're made of, that we keep promises to ourselves.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: We are the person that we say we are.
13:53
SPEAKER_02: You know, when we have that, when we can also give ourselves credit, when we can celebrate wins, when we can pause and acknowledge progress, when we can take a look up in the middle of the climb and be like, yeah, I'm killing it.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm making progress, like not moving the finish line immediately, the more often we can do that, the more conviction we have in ourselves.
14:16
SPEAKER_02: And in my ex and in my experience, we have to manufacture that in our lives.
14:22
SPEAKER_02: We have to, you know, we've got to celebrate wins, we've got to open ourselves up to talk to other people and not think that we've got to lone wolf it and have it all perfectly figured out before we share with a friend or a community or put it out there, right?
14:36
SPEAKER_02: And those were mistakes that I made.
14:38
SPEAKER_02: I wish I had taken that meeting to a trusted friend or to my partner at the time and and said, like, hey, this happened today.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: And they would have been like, screw that guy.
14:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, ignore him.
14:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, 100%.
14:50
SPEAKER_02: Rem and reminded me and put a mirror and been like, you're Mandy Ballock.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Like, you don't, you like listen to yourself, you know?
14:59
SPEAKER_02: Um, so all that to be said, I don't regret this because I don't believe in like going back and changing anything.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm super grateful for the journey that I've been on, and I can look at that situation and say, with the tools that I know now and with the ways that I've learned to trust myself as a visionary, so I know you have a lot of creatives that are listening to this.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: This is very important.
15:26
SPEAKER_02: A visionary person and a creative person will see things before anyone else will understand them.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: We have to get super comfortable in that tension and being rejected potentially.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Because there's no proof and no evidence when we're creating something new, right?
15:48
SPEAKER_02: We're blazing a new trail for the very first time.
15:52
SPEAKER_02: And we have to have enough trust in ourselves to be like, look, there's no evidence here, but I can see it and I trust it, and I trust myself to take that next step.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: I trust myself to say the thing no one said.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: I'm not waiting for permission.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: I'm not waiting for anyone to say it's okay to do this.
16:09
SPEAKER_02: We have to just lead that way.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: That was a good one.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: I feel like um, when I was listening to the book, I immediately wanted to run to my daughter's room and write a bunch of like positive mantras and just like I am, and stick it all over her room because yeah, you're right.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: It the the negative noise is often so much louder than the the positive things that we already know about ourselves.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: And and sometimes that can kind of eat us alive and sway us in the directions that we don't necessarily want to go in.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: Totally.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: I uh wanted to talk a bit about burnout because a lot of the people that are listening are so the a lot of my audience are um creatives that are kind of trying to look into pivoting a little bit of their business.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of the time it is brought on by burnout.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: Um and one of the things that I really like about what you are saying in the book, and even for everyone, I'm gonna make sure you guys can follow her on Instagram because she talks about this a lot on on your Instagram.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: But you um don't actually ever tell ambitious people to stop being ambitious.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: And that is often what a lot of people when when someone says they're burnt out, the answer is often well stop what you're doing.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: And you don't ever do that, you've never said that.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: I think um that there is a bit of a burnout pandemic, and what you're saying is that it's a capacity crisis.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: Can you explain a little bit about what that means?
17:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it this is really, really valuable because and also if you ever want to piss off an ambitious person, tell them to stop.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's why I was like, You didn't do that.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: I was like, yes, I don't have to stop, but what do I do now?
18:00
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, uh, not at all.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm I want to be very clear.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: Chasing enough is not about handing your ambition back, it is about learning how to resource it properly, and it's about noticing how uh it's just it's about noticing.
18:16
SPEAKER_02: Um sorry, someone, someone was just calling me go away.
18:22
SPEAKER_02: Um it's really about noticing when we are catching ourselves in these patterns, and there's a difference between burnout and capacity, and I think we use burnout as a label for way too many things, it's too big.
18:36
SPEAKER_02: Um, burnout is the crash, and capacity is the math that caused it.
18:42
SPEAKER_02: And everyone is treating the crash, you know, they're saying to burnout, like, take a break, take a bath, come back Monday.
18:50
SPEAKER_02: But no one is looking at the math, and that's what what's being demanded of you versus what you actually have.
18:57
SPEAKER_02: And when your demands are bigger than your resources, you don't lead, you react.
19:04
SPEAKER_02: And then we call it being busy, right?
19:06
SPEAKER_02: So rest doesn't fix a capacity problem, but redesign does.
19:13
SPEAKER_02: And if anything, you know, the advice of take a break, take a vacation, it makes it worse because a vacation with the same calendar waiting for you when you get home is a pause, not a fix, right?
19:27
SPEAKER_02: So many of us are overextended, and that is a design problem, not a character flaw.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: Like there's nothing wrong with us.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: So there's so many ways that we can burn ourselves out, and our demands being greater than our resources is, of course, one of them.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: Of course, we're going to be overextended and depleted and running on fumes.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: But we're also, you know, the other reasons that we can burn out is we're living someone else's dream, like we're living someone else's expectations.
19:58
SPEAKER_02: We are running from instead of running towards.
20:01
SPEAKER_02: And there's a very significant difference there.
20:04
SPEAKER_02: That example that I just shared with you about the guy that called my business cute, and then that sent me into a spiral of starting another business.
20:11
SPEAKER_02: I was running from not being enough, not running towards a vision that I had, running from fear, right?
20:20
SPEAKER_02: And that that is a completely different energy.
20:24
SPEAKER_02: So many of us uh grew up and you know, we got the gold stars and we got acknowledged and rewarded for doing all of the things.
20:33
SPEAKER_02: And then we carried all of those amazing skills that made us successful into our business.
20:38
SPEAKER_02: And we do the same thing, right?
20:40
SPEAKER_02: We are taking care of everyone else's needs, we are uh essentially becoming like the highest performer in the company, but we're not doing the most important role in the company, which is leading because we're carrying all the things.
20:55
SPEAKER_02: So burnout ensues, right?
20:57
SPEAKER_02: And so, especially if you've got a lot of creative leaders that are listening to this, you are the talent, you are the face, you are the one that is, you know, booking the revenue based on your skill and your actual output and what you're doing.
21:11
SPEAKER_02: And then you're taking care of the admin and you're answering the emails, and you've got to show up on social media, and then you have a family, and then you have, and then you get sick and it all falls apart, right?
21:25
SPEAKER_02: So we have to look at all of these demands that are very real and the resources that you have, and starting with the question of okay, if you're gonna show up in your full vitality and aliveness to do the work that only you can do, which is probably the creation part, right?
21:44
SPEAKER_02: Then what needs to be true that you're resourced and ready and available to do that?
21:51
SPEAKER_02: And generally, all the things that are the answer to that are the first things to get cut when we get busy.
21:57
SPEAKER_02: It's the, you know, prioritizing.
22:01
SPEAKER_02: Your movement, like finding space, open space to think.
22:06
SPEAKER_02: You know, not being overly scheduled, having meals all taken care of at home, like having support systems in place, enough, you know, all of those resources are really, really important.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: And so when I work with leaders, I look at let's get real about all the demands on your plate.
22:25
SPEAKER_02: And then let's ask ourselves what would be possible to sort of make sure that the demands and the resources are matching for the season that you're in.
22:36
SPEAKER_02: And the math has to math.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: It really does.
22:39
SPEAKER_02: But it doesn't need to be perfect.
22:41
SPEAKER_02: You know, if you've got demands of 11 and you can, we can we see that your resources that are four, okay, well, what are our choices here?
22:50
SPEAKER_02: Like we have to decrease some demands, or we have got to increase our resources.
22:55
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I just feel like, you know, a magnesium pill is not gonna solve your burnout.
23:01
SPEAKER_02: But an honest look at your calendar, who put everything in there, an honest look at is everything you're doing, are you really the only person that can do it?
23:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, that's a that's a really big one.
23:16
SPEAKER_02: And um, especially for those of us that are really good at doing all the things, that's a hard one.
23:23
SPEAKER_02: We have to learn how to receive as well.
23:25
SPEAKER_02: And no one taught us how to do that.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: It is so hard.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: And it I think just kind of my experience is I am, I can say this at this moment, I am over capacity.
23:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh far more demands than I have time for.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: But I think when I again, I'm telling you, you guys have to listen to this book because I literally that was like these are all the thoughts that was going through my mind this morning.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: Is just like how so, like if if I can stand here and I can say I am at capacity and you're saying evaluate everything, look at my look at my buckets, look at everywhere where I'm spending my time.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: I think for me, what a big problem is, and I'm sure this is a problem for a lot of high achievers out there, I'm a people pleaser.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: I can take I can take something off my calendar today and fill it right back up tomorrow because I'm one, I'm a people pleaser, but also I'm tooting my horn, but I am good at every like I'm not I'm good at everything.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to say I'm good at everything.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm good at a lot of things.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: And so, like you were saying, yeah, it's easy to just say I can take care of it myself.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: Is there like is there any advice you have for other people that are kind of at this?
24:35
SPEAKER_00: It's like we take off, we put on, we take off, we put on.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: Is there like what what can I do to stop this crazy cycle?
24:43
SPEAKER_02: Well, um, I'm celebrating you because you notice it.
24:46
SPEAKER_02: So that's great.
24:47
SPEAKER_02: That's step one.
24:48
SPEAKER_02: Um, you we know we are a people pleaser.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: Congratulations, you're a people pleaser.
24:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, as of today, you can be like, I'm a recovering people pleaser.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it's all using language mindset.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: Got it.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: Put it on my sticky note, put it on my meeting.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's really important because notice that you labeled yourself as a people pleaser as an identity piece.
25:07
SPEAKER_02: And that is really, really important because you are not a people pleaser.
25:12
SPEAKER_02: That's not a part of your identity.
25:13
SPEAKER_02: You tend to people please sometimes.
25:16
SPEAKER_02: That's important.
25:17
SPEAKER_02: That's an important differentiator because if we call ourselves a people pleaser or a perfectionist or controller or hyperachiever or whatever that is, um, you know, that becomes a life sentence.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: And so, first of all, we want to take that off.
25:36
SPEAKER_02: And we really want to notice it.
25:38
SPEAKER_02: And unfortunately, I think that this is the thing with you know, that being a the human condition is um right, the human condition uh is like we have it has to get really bad before we make changes.
25:54
SPEAKER_02: And you know, sometimes we reach our enough is enough moment.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: And I have had many enough is enough moments, and I've had enough people mirror back to me, you know, what is this costing you if you continue, if you continue.
26:08
SPEAKER_02: So you gave a great example, you know, it's faster if I do it myself, so I'll just continue to do it.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: Okay, cool.
26:14
SPEAKER_02: You know what, Noella, you're the best at it, and it's faster if you do it.
26:20
SPEAKER_02: No one can do it better than you.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: But guess what?
26:23
SPEAKER_02: If you continue to do it, you will always be the one who does it.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: So we take the hat off, we set it down.
26:33
SPEAKER_02: That's a rep.
26:34
SPEAKER_02: We're creating a rep.
26:36
SPEAKER_02: We just we need to solidify that rep as like, okay, wow.
26:39
SPEAKER_02: I just I just showed myself that there is evidence that I don't need to do this.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: I just showed myself that there's evidence that I'm taking this hat off and that it's safe.
26:52
SPEAKER_02: It might be for five minutes that you hold that space.
26:56
SPEAKER_02: Great.
26:57
SPEAKER_02: The next time, maybe it's gonna be 10 minutes, maybe it's gonna be a day, maybe it's gonna be a week.
27:02
SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
27:03
SPEAKER_02: We can continue to notice the pattern and we can continue to interrupt it and make a new choice.
27:08
SPEAKER_02: But what is most important is that we notice the pattern and we take the pause, and the power is all in that pause.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: That's where we take the power back.
27:16
SPEAKER_02: I notice that I am currently people pleasing.
27:19
SPEAKER_02: I notice that the energy behind this is proving.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: I notice that the energy behind this is because I think everyone thinks I should do this.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: Right?
27:29
SPEAKER_02: I notice that I'm avoiding this hard conversation.
27:34
SPEAKER_02: And then we have to choose ourselves, right?
27:36
SPEAKER_02: So what would a what would a healthier choice be here for me?
27:40
SPEAKER_00: Photographers are constantly being told the answer to making more money is booking more clients, more sessions, more weddings, more weekends away from your family.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: But what if the next level of revenue is already sitting inside the work you've already delivered?
27:54
SPEAKER_00: Freedom Print Lab helps photographers offer professional prints, albums, and wall art that turns their work into something clients can actually hold, display, and pass down through generations.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: It gives your clients more value while helping you increase the revenue from work you've already completed.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: More income does not always have to mean more shooting.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it means creating a smarter, more complete experience around the images you're already producing.
28:21
SPEAKER_00: Learn more about Freedom Print Lab through the link in my show notes.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: It's it's interesting, and I think you're probably often you're probably uh similar to me in this, that I sometimes think that uh these traits like people pleasing or high achieving, or I'm really good at really good at that or good at this.
28:40
SPEAKER_00: Those are often some of the things that I think are strengths because they've allowed me to create multiple businesses, you know, especially I you're a visionary.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm a visionary.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: It's almost a it it's a problem, but it's also a blessing, right?
28:53
SPEAKER_00: It's a problem when we continuously build and build and build and are not great at maintaining.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm awful at maintaining, I'm great at building.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: But at the flip side of that, it means that we are constantly in this cycle of visionary and um I think I see it as a good thing, but then at the same time it can be a bad thing.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: And I guess how do I immediately stop my mind from going, oh, but it's actually a good thing for being to be a high achiever, to be a visionary, to be a people pleaser when I know that it's like actually harming myself.
29:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm now sitting in like 10 businesses because I'm so good at being a visionary.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: And then that, but that's how that's the good, it's what what I'm good at is what's causing the problem.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so and I just feel like there's so many other people out there that are in the same situation where it's the things that are causing the problems are also the things that are making us great at what we do.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: And so it's hard to differentiate sometimes.
29:53
SPEAKER_02: I feel you, girl.
29:54
SPEAKER_02: I just you're not you're not resourcing your vision.
29:58
SPEAKER_02: And so that's depleting you, and that's soul sucking because and like you know, tell me if that feels true for you, but it's exhausting to see only a partial part of your vision living when you know it could be so much more.
30:12
SPEAKER_02: And there, there's that ambition gap between what we know could be possible and then the reality of where we are.
30:19
SPEAKER_02: And I believe that that's where so many creative people get stuck.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: And it feels it feels depleting, and that's where we're also hard on ourselves because there's this gap between where we are and where we want to be, right?
30:33
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, not all visions need to be pursued.
30:39
SPEAKER_02: Uh, my husband and I have a joke because we're both like this, and we like have business, we're both entrepreneurs, you know, for the last 13 years.
30:47
SPEAKER_02: We have like traveled all over the place, like laptop warriors, like let's start another business.
30:51
SPEAKER_02: Between him and I, it's always like we have six businesses going at once.
30:54
SPEAKER_00: And literally, your husband's business in my freezer, by the way.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
30:59
SPEAKER_02: Great just chill out of here's a shut up.
31:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, but but uh, you know, we we have been in the last couple of years, like, you know, how can we like do less?
31:08
SPEAKER_02: Because what is it really costing us?
31:10
SPEAKER_02: And we used to want to be like, oh, let's do all the cool things, but at the end of the day, the cool things were costing us time and money.
31:18
SPEAKER_02: Like we are funding all these things because we could we didn't properly resource it, right?
31:24
SPEAKER_02: So know your skills, know your value, know what you bring to the table.
31:28
SPEAKER_02: You're a creative visionary, so maybe the opportunity is uh, you know, what would need to be true for this vision to be successful and not burn me out?
31:37
SPEAKER_02: Great question.
31:38
SPEAKER_02: Uh, maybe it's an operating partner.
31:41
SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's your clients.
31:43
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you're really good at actually like helping your clients get a vision off the ground and you give that vision to them and they take it, and you, you know, there's a partnership in there or whatever.
31:53
SPEAKER_02: Like, maybe there's a way to actually monetize your vision, visionary skills without having to incorporate a business every time you do.
32:01
SPEAKER_02: And James and I laugh now because it's like whenever we have a business idea, I'm like, oh, that sounds like a hundred dollar idea.
32:08
SPEAKER_02: He's like, and then like I'll have another one, I'll be like, that's a million-dollar idea.
32:12
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, is it?
32:15
SPEAKER_02: And now, like, I kind of like wish I owned a bunch of parking lots because the parking lots are not cool, but they make money, and then the you know, they make they make a a parking lot, like one single car stall makes more than minimum wage an hour, you guys.
32:34
SPEAKER_02: This is crazy.
32:35
SPEAKER_02: So, like, I want to buy some parking lots so that I can just bring all my like random ideas back to the city.
32:43
SPEAKER_00: She's a visionary, but she's handing the idea off to you guys.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: So take it.
32:46
SPEAKER_02: You guys take it.
32:47
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to do it.
32:48
SPEAKER_02: Just kidding.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, she secretly does, you know.
32:51
SPEAKER_02: But at the end of the day, you know, at the end of the day, the the really important question is like, at what cost?
32:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:00
SPEAKER_02: So at what cost do you want to do all these things?
33:03
SPEAKER_02: What is it costing your family?
33:05
SPEAKER_02: What is it costing your connection?
33:06
SPEAKER_02: What is it costing your level of presence?
33:08
SPEAKER_02: What is it costing your health?
33:10
SPEAKER_02: What is it costing your level of stress, your sleep?
33:12
SPEAKER_02: How does all of that look?
33:14
SPEAKER_02: And if you really want to pursue all the things at once, and if you really want to bring all the ideas to life at once, cool.
33:20
SPEAKER_02: Then just ask yourself, what resources do I need to do that?
33:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, that's really great advice.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, especially for a lot of the creatives.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: And you know, then there is so many resources for people, but again, it comes back down to like everybody thinking, well, I could do it better.
33:37
SPEAKER_00: I actually just hired a virtual assistant like two days ago.
33:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: Good for you.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: Good for you.
33:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm very excited.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh, so I want to just talk a little bit about your story.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, like we said, you and I kind of go way back, and you have done a lot of really amazing, I uh successful things.
33:56
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I remember back in the day, like just like really looking up to you.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: You built this incredible empire.
34:01
SPEAKER_00: And I think, you know, you had the audience, you built the companies, you had all these like girlhood around you.
34:09
SPEAKER_00: And there are plenty of reasons for you, for me, to everyone to say Mandy is killing it.
34:15
SPEAKER_00: But internally, there had to be a moment where it felt very different to you, like you felt like you weren't killing it.
34:22
SPEAKER_00: What did that moment look like for you?
34:24
SPEAKER_00: And do you remember that moment where you just were like, wait a minute, something needs to change?
34:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there were lots of them.
34:31
SPEAKER_02: Um, I think there were lots of them, and I I really ignored the signs for for many years, actually.
34:36
SPEAKER_02: I um people would be saying that all the time.
34:40
SPEAKER_02: So Noelle and I met during the time that I was building the Ace community, and the Ace community was founded upon this brunch series that I started, Throw Back to Babes Who Brunch.
34:50
SPEAKER_02: And the timing, yeah.
34:53
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I actually built this at the the come down of my uh the branded magazine, which was around for two years.
35:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, around that time frame, my father passed away.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: And instead of sitting and processing with that grief, I was simultaneously dealing with the loss of a business and the loss of my dad and the loss of my professional identity, because back then all I knew was, you know, Mandy is the CEO and the publisher.
35:25
SPEAKER_02: And if I am not that, who am I?
35:28
SPEAKER_02: So I I do remember that that mirror moment when I was really sitting with, you know, who am I without this?
35:39
SPEAKER_02: And I couldn't hold the tension of that question back then.
35:43
SPEAKER_02: I didn't have the capacity to hold that question.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: And instead of feeling the immense loss and the guilt and the pressure that I was feeling at the time, I just decided to fill that space with more work.
36:00
SPEAKER_02: So that's when I started the Ace community.
36:04
SPEAKER_02: And I started that brunch series with a desire to bring people together to have vulnerable conversations.
36:09
SPEAKER_02: The irony, again, is not lost on me that I was unable to have that with myself.
36:14
SPEAKER_02: But here I was, you know, I had a vision, and the vision was women need to come together.
36:20
SPEAKER_02: And the timing was perfect.
36:22
SPEAKER_02: It was 2017.
36:23
SPEAKER_02: The Me Too movement was happening simultaneously.
36:26
SPEAKER_02: And these two things, like I feel like women's empowerment communities and that conversation was so ripe and ready to be had that this brunch series, you know, within a few months, it had taken off and was six cities across Canada.
36:43
SPEAKER_02: And Noella was one of our community activators, and so she was leading up the Winnipeg um um movement.
36:50
SPEAKER_02: And it looked really good on paper because this thing was blowing up.
36:56
SPEAKER_02: Like it was like, you know, the events were happening in six different cities at a time, different cities, like the brand was tight, the messaging was tight, we were right on the moment.
37:07
SPEAKER_02: Um and everyone was like, wow, this is amazing.
37:11
SPEAKER_02: You are killing it.
37:13
SPEAKER_02: But the currency I was running my life on at that time was grief, guilt, shame.
37:22
SPEAKER_02: I was holding this invisible weight behind the scenes, and I was again running from, I was running from fear of facing any of those emotions, didn't know how to, couldn't possibly go there.
37:40
SPEAKER_02: Um, it was easier for me to scale than it was to feel.
37:44
SPEAKER_02: And I never felt, you know, I would be like, oh, thanks.
37:49
SPEAKER_02: But I would just go back to work.
37:50
SPEAKER_02: Like I would just, I'd put in my 16-hour days and I would just keep crushing it and not look up and um never felt ahead, always felt behind.
38:02
SPEAKER_02: And it was truly exhausting.
38:05
SPEAKER_02: Exhausting to uh exhausting to be in my skin.
38:09
SPEAKER_02: Uh could never keep up with myself.
38:12
SPEAKER_02: I had team members that, you know, you know, on on the other side of things, like, you know, that was also the culture that was being created as well, which was this like, we gotta move faster, we gotta, we gotta push harder.
38:25
SPEAKER_02: So um yeah, I think I think that's the high achiever wound there.
38:30
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of leaders and entrepreneurs that I work with as well, you know, everyone, it looks like you're killing it on the outside and behind behind closed doors, it's never enough.
38:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: And so how do you that's like how do we know the difference between I guess chasing the next thing in order to make us feel like this is enough, like I I am enough versus the real um like authentic, genuine desire to reach the next goal.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes they can look the same depending on your mindset.
39:08
SPEAKER_00: You're either chasing to fill your empty cup or you're chasing to reach the next goal, which one could be healthy, one could be unhealthy.
39:17
SPEAKER_00: I guess there's a there's a fine line, honestly.
39:21
SPEAKER_02: Um, that discernment is really important to check in with.
39:26
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, I think I I talk about this through the lens of the the chasing leader versus the choosing leader, and all of us are leaders, right?
39:36
SPEAKER_02: We start with being the leader of ourselves, and then we're the leader of our households, and then we're the leaders of our communities, and we're the leaders of our teams and our organizations and our mission and our vision.
39:46
SPEAKER_02: Like all of us are leaders, and it all starts with ourselves.
39:49
SPEAKER_02: And so when we really check in and say, well, the chasing leader versus the choosing leader, there's there's fuel, right?
39:58
SPEAKER_02: Both are high performers, but only one of them is building something that outlasts the adrenaline.
40:04
SPEAKER_02: The chasing leader is fueled by the fear of not being enough.
40:09
SPEAKER_02: And the choosing leader has clarity about what they're building.
40:13
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so there's the there's a very subtle difference.
40:16
SPEAKER_02: The energy of the chasing leader is being pushed by something behind them.
40:23
SPEAKER_02: The choosing leader is being pulled by something in front of them.
40:28
SPEAKER_02: The chasing leader, yeah, the goal for the chasing leader, they move it the second it's hit, right?
40:34
SPEAKER_02: So we hit the goalpost, we don't celebrate, we don't pause, we get to the end of the day, and we're like, uh not enough, gotta keep going.
40:42
SPEAKER_02: But the choosing leader has a finish line and says it out loud.
40:48
SPEAKER_02: And the choosing leader is uh understands how to walk the line between today, right here, this is enough, and I can want more tomorrow.
41:00
SPEAKER_02: The pace of the chasing leader is set by their nervous system, and the pace of the choosing leader is set by strategy and capacity.
41:11
SPEAKER_02: So these are really important things to be able to differentiate, and um awareness is everything, right?
41:18
SPEAKER_02: So I wrote the book really intentionally through three parts.
41:23
SPEAKER_02: Part one is notice, part two is release, and part three is rise.
41:30
SPEAKER_02: And each part of the book is built as a guide for you to notice where you are at between chasing and choosing.
41:38
SPEAKER_02: And it's not black or white sometimes, it's gray.
41:42
SPEAKER_02: And I think that that's the hard thing for high achievers to acknowledge because we're generally taught it's black or it's white.
41:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm winning or I'm not.
41:55
SPEAKER_02: I gotta be all in or not.
41:57
SPEAKER_02: I you know, I I either got the award or I didn't.
42:03
SPEAKER_02: I either get the gym for an hour or I don't go.
42:06
SPEAKER_02: Right?
42:07
SPEAKER_02: There's this like spectrum.
42:09
SPEAKER_02: And I feel like when we really have a clear anchor within us of who we are, uh, what our standards are, what we will tolerate, what we're working towards, what what that deeper vision and mission is, which is really, you know, every leader needs to be able to define those things.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: We can see this is the fine line we're walking on.
42:33
SPEAKER_02: And I'm living it right now.
42:36
SPEAKER_02: I, you know, as this book is coming out, I am navigating a very busy season.
42:42
SPEAKER_02: It's um, you know, I have my biggest event of the year, which is the gathering.
42:46
SPEAKER_02: We have 2,000 people.
42:47
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's like it is a massive undertaking and a massive event with a million moving pieces.
42:54
SPEAKER_02: There's 75 different speakers, there's 2,000 people coming, there's four stages.
42:59
SPEAKER_02: I have a team of 13.
43:02
SPEAKER_02: And then I also have a book coming out simultaneously, and I've never done that before.
43:07
SPEAKER_02: So I am learning how to do that, like the context switching between learning and figuring out how to market and launch a book.
43:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you know, the the visibility edges that I'm meeting in that, and um, you know, the time that goes into having conversations like this and and figuring it things out.
43:28
SPEAKER_02: Like there's a lot going on, and I'm managing my resources.
43:33
SPEAKER_02: I've got my next four months calendared to a T, include including my self-care and my date nights, and those things have to be in there first, right?
43:43
SPEAKER_02: But there's also an edge of me that's like, you know, what if the book doesn't sell?
43:50
SPEAKER_02: What if the what if I don't make a list?
43:52
SPEAKER_02: What if I don't like those are all things, and and where I land on it is okay, I'm an achiever.
43:59
SPEAKER_02: I want this.
44:00
SPEAKER_02: Book to create impact.
44:01
SPEAKER_02: I've worked very hard on this book for the last six years and I want to get it in as many hands as possible.
44:07
SPEAKER_02: And in order to do that, the marketing and the promotion and the conversations and the asks and the visibility and the showing up is required in order to do that.
44:16
SPEAKER_02: I will continue to do that and I will do my absolute best to ensure that this is a successful launch.
44:23
SPEAKER_02: Please buy the book, everyone.
44:24
SPEAKER_02: It really helps me out.
44:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, look at look at me asking for things.
44:28
SPEAKER_02: Um and then also, I'm also sitting in the if this book never published, it has been enough.
44:37
SPEAKER_02: Because this has been the most incredible healing journey for me.
44:42
SPEAKER_02: The most incredibly reflective therapy and project.
44:48
SPEAKER_02: And it has had so much weight in my life, whether anybody ever reads it or not, I have become this person, this whole new person, because I have, like I said, like I'm a person of great integrity.
45:06
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not, I can't publish something if I'm not leading it and living it.
45:11
SPEAKER_02: And there were times when I got stuck in this book and couldn't move it forward because I was still stuck on that pattern or trigger or something.
45:20
SPEAKER_02: And I had to move through it in order to move that forward.
45:24
SPEAKER_02: So I am incredibly proud of the person that I've become writing this book.
45:31
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, of course I want to make a list.
45:34
SPEAKER_02: I want to be, I want to say I'm a best-selling author.
45:36
SPEAKER_02: Of course I want that.
45:38
SPEAKER_02: And if it doesn't happen, I am 100% okay because I know that the book is enough.
45:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:45
SPEAKER_00: Well, and I love that you're kind of coming at this and not just and not saying like I am here.
45:50
SPEAKER_00: I um and not the most perfectly healed, perfectly resourced, you know, you're kind of you're you're admitting and also giving permission to a lot of people to kind of sit in that middle part.
46:05
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it feels messy.
46:07
SPEAKER_00: And I know I I was looking over um some of the notes from the book and noticed that you had talked about this like kind of one moment where you it felt like you were attending like a hundred funerals.
46:18
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, uh that feels like feels like that feels a lot like what um I think a lot of entrepreneurs are going through.
46:28
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah.
46:30
SPEAKER_00: Do you think that sometimes becoming that person that you want to be requires sometime grieving like who you were?
46:38
SPEAKER_00: Or yeah, 100% even what we were like two years ago.
46:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:43
SPEAKER_02: The same woman I was on Tuesday last week.
46:46
SPEAKER_02: Like we are constantly growing and evolving and changing.
46:50
SPEAKER_02: And I think that we really need to give ourselves permission in that.
46:55
SPEAKER_02: And I absolutely there's a there's such a grief.
47:00
SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's such a grief in letting go um of old versions of ourselves, you know.
47:06
SPEAKER_02: And I I feel like having more conversations about it gives someone else permission to not feel wrong in their growth because you know, growth is romanticized, becoming is romanticized.
47:20
SPEAKER_02: Like, oh, you're becoming the best version of yourself.
47:22
SPEAKER_02: That sounds roses.
47:24
SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, it's hard, actually.
47:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, being a person of great integrity, living in your values, doesn't mean that's easy.
47:32
SPEAKER_02: That actually can be very challenging.
47:34
SPEAKER_02: You have to take a stand.
47:36
SPEAKER_02: You don't just shrink, you actually have to say something, like you have to lean into those challenging conversations.
47:43
SPEAKER_02: You know, I have had to have conversations with my husband, like, hey, I'm not happy in this marriage.
47:49
SPEAKER_02: This is what is going on for me right now.
47:52
SPEAKER_02: Those are hard conversations to have.
47:54
SPEAKER_02: I've had to uh release friendships and and um, you know, people on my team and and places I've outgrown, you know, you've had to let those things go.
48:05
SPEAKER_02: And all change is um destabilizing, right?
48:10
SPEAKER_02: The ground under your feet is moving, and all of us have experienced this over the last few years.
48:16
SPEAKER_02: Like everything around us is changing.
48:19
SPEAKER_02: And when everything around us is changing, it gives us the opportunity to say, wait a second, like how do I feel about that?
48:26
SPEAKER_02: And in in my in my space in that, what do I care about?
48:31
SPEAKER_02: What's meaningful for me?
48:34
SPEAKER_02: And I believe that there's a lot of data in the noticing and in the frustration piece.
48:40
SPEAKER_02: And I think we should be using frustration as such a great data point for where to go next.
48:48
SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, we often push that away.
48:51
SPEAKER_02: We're like, oh, I don't want to be frustrated or whatever.
48:54
SPEAKER_02: But like I was frustrated for a really long time that I couldn't achieve the things that I set out to do, and I kept getting in my own way, or I kept getting stuck, or whatever.
49:03
SPEAKER_02: And acknowledging that, like I've become obsessed with why we chase or why we get stuck.
49:10
SPEAKER_02: And at the core of it, it's these patterns we're talking about, and it's it's continuing to carry around with us the things that are no longer ours to carry.
49:19
SPEAKER_02: And that does require a deaf.
49:22
SPEAKER_00: So if running your photography business sometimes feels like you spend more time answering emails, sending invoices, and chasing questionnaires than actually taking photos, you need Sprout Studio.
49:33
SPEAKER_00: Sprout Studio brings your client communication, contracts, invoices, scheduling questionnaires, and workflows together in one place so you can stop piecing your business together with 12 different tools and a collection of sticky notes.
49:46
SPEAKER_00: It helps you automate the repetitive work, create a better client experience, and get back hours of your week because you did not become a photographer, so you could spend every single evening doing admin work.
49:58
SPEAKER_00: If your business is growing but your systems are not keeping up, check out Sprout Studio through the link in the show notes.
50:04
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've already taken up so much of your time, but I want to kind of end with one maybe or two thoughts.
50:12
SPEAKER_00: There was a version of you when you were little, and then there was the version of you sitting in front of that guy who said, That's cute.
50:22
SPEAKER_00: And then there's the version I know, like the ace class version of you.
50:26
SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, I know there was so much.
50:29
SPEAKER_00: I remember actually, I don't know if you remember this, but I remember going to your office with my family.
50:34
SPEAKER_00: I I went into your office, I had two very little kids, that's where I met your team.
50:39
SPEAKER_00: And so there's I think of that version as well, like the founder badass Mandy, yeah, who had this beautiful office space.
50:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, you had employees, you had a whole ton of expectations on you.
50:52
SPEAKER_00: And then there's Mandy today.
50:55
SPEAKER_00: If all of those versions of Mandy were kind of listening to this podcast today or sitting here in this room, what would you tell them about enough?
51:03
SPEAKER_00: Because they were all chasing.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: All those different versions of you were chasing something, what would you tell them today about about what you know now that you spent six years writing this book?
51:18
SPEAKER_02: Oh it's so crazy.
51:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I I really love I really love that thought um about sort of reconciling with all the different versions uh of myself.
51:31
SPEAKER_02: And you know, I dedicated the book to Mandy Pandy, who was actually the seven-year-old version of me.
51:39
SPEAKER_02: And that is that was like the most true version of me, you know, before any of the expectations happened and yeah, before the world told me anything else.
51:51
SPEAKER_02: I just was in my you know, audacious Mandy.
51:54
SPEAKER_02: And then there was the girl, you know.
51:57
SPEAKER_02: I should have, I should have uh I won't shit on myself, but I I've been thinking about the dedication of Mandy Pandy as the seven-year-old, and and who this book is really for was actually my surviving self, which was really probably from the ages of 15 to 27, maybe 30, um, where I was really running on empty and really running from this place of chasing and not enoughness.
52:29
SPEAKER_02: And then um, and that also was simultaneously that like badass, you know, boss babe CEO in there too, right?
52:36
SPEAKER_02: Um so what I want to say to, you know, to both of them, you know, to Mandy Pandy, like thank you for your light, and you are enough.
52:49
SPEAKER_02: And to that chasing one in survival.
52:57
SPEAKER_02: You know, I really want to her, I really want to give her permission to know that she doesn't have to figure it out all out alone.
53:06
SPEAKER_02: And I feel that my community builder hat is so important to me because of that, because I really know what it feels like to feel like you have no one and to feel like you have to have it all together and you have to do it all perfectly, and you can't stop, or everyone will leave.
53:31
SPEAKER_02: Um and so I feel like if I knew that I actually could ask could ask back then, you know, I think that's the message I would really want to share.
53:42
SPEAKER_02: And and I would want to share that with anyone here that is listening to this, and maybe just means to write a permission slip to yourself that you don't have to do all of it perfectly by yourself.
53:55
SPEAKER_02: Maybe there is an opportunity to resource yourself.
53:59
SPEAKER_02: Maybe there is an opportunity to, you know, even just share some of the some of the things that are coming up for you and have someone challenge the beliefs that are running your life because our beliefs, our thoughts and beliefs are the things that fuel our action, and our actions create the life that we have.
54:21
SPEAKER_02: And many of us are living a life that we're just tolerating because we haven't challenged those beliefs enough.
54:28
SPEAKER_02: And we haven't challenged the actions, and we haven't challenged like the energy behind it.
54:33
SPEAKER_02: And what I want for everyone that picks up my book is, you know, whether you're the one that can't stop or you're the one that can't start, you know, the one who's chasing or the one who's stuck, because there's we can be both of them sometimes, but both fueled underneath it is the am I enough?
54:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
54:53
SPEAKER_02: I hope that someone can pick up this book and can notice the pattern, can see it clearly, and recognize that it's not a character flaw, it's a pattern.
55:04
SPEAKER_02: And patterns get to be broken.
55:07
SPEAKER_02: And when we can take a step back for long enough to notice it, we get to release it and we get to rise from it.
55:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
55:16
SPEAKER_02: So I hope none of this felt like an attack to anyone.
55:20
SPEAKER_02: But if you felt a little twinge or like you recognized yourself in some of the things Noella and I were sharing, you know, you're not alone.
55:27
SPEAKER_02: Many of us feel these ways.
55:29
SPEAKER_02: And um, noticing it is the first step before we get to put it down.
55:35
SPEAKER_00: It's funny that you close like that because I wrote a closing line and it said, for everyone listening who has been mentally diagnosing themselves, you worded it much nicer than I did.
55:45
SPEAKER_00: Which, but but honestly, it's what I felt like I was doing as I was going through the book.
55:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
55:50
SPEAKER_00: So um, I I mean, let's talk about the book really quick.
55:53
SPEAKER_00: Chasing Enough, High Achievers Guide to Sustainable Success.
55:57
SPEAKER_00: It is launching still September 22nd.
56:00
SPEAKER_02: Yes, September 22nd official launch in Canada.
56:03
SPEAKER_02: Uh, it is a big help.
56:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, October 20th in the US.
56:07
SPEAKER_02: But uh, if you're listening to this, you can buy the book anywhere that books are available.
56:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, we'll provide you with all the links.
56:15
SPEAKER_02: Amazon, indigo, Barnes and Noble, all the spots.
56:18
SPEAKER_02: There is an audio book as well.
56:20
SPEAKER_02: The audiobook is available.
56:22
SPEAKER_02: It was really important to me to build to write a to do an audiobook for high achievers because I know we're all listening to it at 1.3, multitasking, all the things.
56:30
SPEAKER_02: I got you.
56:31
SPEAKER_02: I see you.
56:32
SPEAKER_02: You can take me in the car, take me for your walks, all the things.
56:36
SPEAKER_02: Um and uh yeah, this is the this is the beginning of uh of the work, really.
56:43
SPEAKER_02: This is these are the beginnings of the types of conversations that I really want to be having again.
56:48
SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm building my launch around gatherings and getting us back together in community.
56:53
SPEAKER_02: So Noella and I will be doing an event together in Winnipeg.
56:57
SPEAKER_02: Um, I've got a launch event in Edmonton, in Vancouver, in Calgary.
57:02
SPEAKER_02: And as I'm thinking towards 2027 and beyond, I'm also thinking about all the ways that you know we can create community together and come back, um, come back together and really have these convos.
57:13
SPEAKER_02: So I've got a quiz if you're interested as well uh in understanding what your armor pattern is.
57:19
SPEAKER_02: I'll provide the link for that.
57:20
SPEAKER_02: But otherwise, you can put this baby in your in your cart and feel free to send me a DM or a message and let me know where it resonated for this.
57:29
SPEAKER_02: I love um just hearing from all of you, and uh it helps me continue to you know communicate and um and and share and support.
57:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you so much, Mandy.
57:40
SPEAKER_00: I just I want to close with one thing, one little thing that I just noticed.
57:44
SPEAKER_00: What is it?
57:45
SPEAKER_00: You were just you well, no, it's it's good, but it's just I ironic, a little I a little bit of irony.
57:51
SPEAKER_00: You were talking about beliefs and your actions and community building, and here you are just going around Canada building community, which is going to change people's beliefs, which is going to change their actions.
58:02
SPEAKER_00: You did it full circle.
58:04
SPEAKER_00: Uh thank you so much, Mandy, for having the courage to write the book.
58:08
SPEAKER_00: It's incredible.
58:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm obsessed with it.
58:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm literally excited to go on another walk tonight just so I can listen to it again.
58:13
SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for writing the book and for coming and hanging out with us on the podcast.
58:18
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
58:19
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate you.
58:20
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening to the reInvent podcast.
58:22
SPEAKER_00: I hope today left you really inspired and that you walked away with something that you could put into action in your business today.
58:29
SPEAKER_00: If this episode resonated with you and you would like to help the podcast reach even more creatives, hit follow, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a review.
58:38
SPEAKER_00: Those reviews really help other listeners find us when they need it the most.
58:43
SPEAKER_00: So for show notes, links, different resources, head over to my website.
58:46
SPEAKER_00: It's noellaandres.com.
58:48
SPEAKER_00: That is n o E L L A N D R E S dot com.
58:52
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, guys.
58:53
SPEAKER_00: See you the next time.