Latest / The Danger Zoo / Mirror Obelisk

Transcript

Mirror Obelisk · The Danger Zoo

• 0:02
  Password accepted welcome. To the danger Zoo.
• 0:08
  Welcome back to the danger Zoo, the department of alum, the
• 0:11
  department of anomalous and non human Genetic entities,
• 0:14
  Reconnaissance and zoological operations.
• 0:17
  I am coyote or game warden and my tongue is too big for my
• 0:20
  mouth bouncing about well. It's not too big for mine.
• 0:25
  Your tongue is too big for my ass.
• 0:28
  This is why we're never going to get famous off this note taker.
• 0:32
  What happened last time? So I I swear thoughty I.
• 0:38
  Swear that's a good question. If I remember correctly, there
• 0:44
  was a very attractive version of Pretty Kitty running around.
• 0:49
  Called Handsome Kitty. Murdered.
• 0:52
  Handsome Kitty. Yeah, and he like Thanos and I'm
• 0:58
  crying in his ashes as baby birds playing in a puddle.
• 1:05
  Yeah, he had lenses for eyes and he was all 2D and his mustache
• 1:09
  was dripping, which is. This water's really tripping.
• 1:12
  Me out guys. Yeah, and then you're just
• 1:16
  fishing because you don't care about us.
• 1:20
  I'm getting dinner ready like a good mother.
• 1:24
  More like a Good Wife. No.
• 1:27
  And where's Hazy? Hazy snuck off into the jungle.
• 1:29
  That's right, he just disappeared.
• 1:31
  He's hiding because everything's getting crazy.
• 1:35
  People are dying. So danger, he was like, I'm out.
• 1:40
  I got I, you know, have faith in y'all, that y'all could take
• 1:43
  care of everything. OK.
• 1:45
  OK. All right.
• 1:47
  So before we start this mission, pretty Kitty up here, he starts
• 1:51
  panicking. He goes, oh, the pretty version
• 1:53
  of me died him. Am I am I the original or am IA
• 1:57
  clone? And he freaks out and he runs
• 1:59
  into the water, and then all of a sudden his body's gone.
• 2:05
  I dive in after him. Wow.
• 2:09
  You dive in after him. A lunk mission start.
• 2:16
  You dive into the water and you look around.
• 2:18
  You see the monoliths and give me a perception roll.
• 2:23
  Fine. God forbid you do some work.
• 2:28
  What's the modifier for that? It's your wisdom. 50.
• 2:33
  Nice, nice nice nice. You see at the bottom of the
• 2:36
  obelisk, which is an amazing word, there is an entrance.
• 2:41
  Other than that you don't see anything in here except you see
• 2:46
  other Saudi shaped dirt clouds floating in the water and it
• 2:51
  looks like they're slowly drifting towards you.
• 2:55
  How big is this entrance? Can you give me some dimensions?
• 2:59
  It's big enough for a person to go in one at a time.
• 3:02
  Or print Kitty and baby bird twice, 2 at a time.
• 3:06
  I go into the entrance without telling anybody what I'm doing,
• 3:09
  OK? You head in there, give me a
• 3:11
  luck check real quick. Nat 20.
• 3:16
  Oh, nice. As you're swimming, you actually
• 3:18
  hit these dirt forms that are in the shape of you and they just
• 3:21
  go and dissipate and then you just pop inside.
• 3:26
  It's pretty Kitty in here. Let's see what everybody else is
• 3:29
  doing. I stopped punching the water.
• 3:35
  I'm like using my full force to punch the water and then I stop
• 3:41
  and I zoom into the obelisk. Why to any of that?
• 3:46
  Because my eyes are cameras. No, no, no.
• 3:48
  You sorry, I forgot you hit the water and like you went back to
• 3:51
  normal. What?
• 3:52
  What did you say happened to him when he hit the water?
• 3:54
  Thought. He he was baptized and is no
• 3:59
  longer Jewish. My nose shrunk.
• 4:02
  Yep, yes. So did your wallet.
• 4:07
  No, my shackles. You ever heard of?
• 4:10
  Ties boy. Anyways, crazy, what are you
• 4:15
  doing? I RIP off my sideburns.
• 4:19
  I guess since the threat has been neutralized for the moment,
• 4:22
  I'm going to scan the area for my hiding spot, right?
• 4:26
  All right, go ahead and give me a perception role then.
• 4:28
  Or do you want to do a nature role, whichever one's hired for
• 4:30
  you? Won't be nature's intelligence.
• 4:35
  And what was the other one? Perception is wisdom.
• 4:37
  Oh. I said negative, so I'm going to
• 4:40
  go with nature. That's.
• 4:41
  Nature. All right.
• 4:45
  No news is good news, No. Fuck me 6.
• 4:50
  Are you? You're looking around and you
• 4:52
  don't see anything. But that laughter from when you
• 4:56
  fell last episode when you were twirling your spear kind of
• 5:00
  picks up again, but it's not as funny.
• 5:02
  It's more upsetting. Yeah, it's like that.
• 5:08
  What you got to do? I guess I'm going to take a look
• 5:11
  at that spear, right? The spear in your hands.
• 5:15
  I think that I think the the right thing to do is to laugh
• 5:17
  back, right? That's what that's what I did in
• 5:20
  school to my bullies. Just.
• 5:21
  Act like you got the joke. Yeah, the the nervous thing.
• 5:27
  I'll do that. They were just laughing at your
• 5:29
  boner, so you laughed at your boater.
• 5:30
  You're just standing there looking down and the bullies are
• 5:32
  like, something's wrong with this kid.
• 5:35
  The teacher joins in and laughs at your boner too.
• 5:38
  Doo Doo. That sounds good, I'll laugh
• 5:40
  with it. Give me an intimidation check.
• 5:46
  That'd be a one. Exactly how it would play out in
• 5:51
  real life. You go to laugh back, but your
• 5:54
  voice cracks a little bit. The laughing stops abruptly.
• 6:06
  All right, baby bird, what are you doing here?
• 6:08
  Where am I? You're still in the water.
• 6:11
  You didn't do nothing but punch the water like a dumbass.
• 6:14
  I put my pants back on and I get out of the water and I'm feeling
• 6:17
  normal. When did you take your pants
• 6:19
  off? Yeah, that's a good question.
• 6:21
  I had to put them back on. What?
• 6:24
  Oh, OK, OK. I look around, who's around me?
• 6:29
  Well, Hazy is still hidden in the trees.
• 6:31
  Go ahead and give me a perception roll before we go
• 6:33
  back to Thawdy. OK.
• 6:35
  All you see is a pile of dust from where I used to be. 12.
• 6:40
  OK, yeah, You see handsome kitties just in ashes.
• 6:43
  He's a little wet from where thought he was crying into him.
• 6:46
  And you see that the pond that you were in is still rippling
• 6:49
  from the other side, but not from where you were swimming.
• 6:52
  You seem to remember thought he jumping in the water.
• 6:55
  Other than that, you don't see anything, but you do hear faint
• 6:59
  laughing. Oh fuck no.
• 7:01
  I I, I go to where the ripples are coming from.
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  I dive in. Give me an athletics check. 12
• 7:13
  is a nine plus my decks of three.
• 7:16
  Not only do you dive in, you slam into that water so
• 7:20
  gracefully you almost slip right into the entrance of the obelisk
• 7:22
  where Toddy went in. Do you wish to continue or do
• 7:27
  you want to stop there? I'll stop right there.
• 7:30
  All right, back to you, Toddy. Or I guess flashback to me over
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  there, just fishing. Still, I've rigged up a
• 7:36
  primitive TV. I'm watching I Love Lucy now.
• 7:39
  You thought he. Oh dude, I want to.
• 7:43
  I want to go just watch I Love Lucy with you now.
• 7:47
  Too bad I'm in the Obeliskucy. Obeliskucy.
• 7:54
  Actually, I don't know obelisk a penis obelisk.
• 7:59
  This obelisk is a hermaphrodite. Oh, it's a futa futanari baby
• 8:03
  futa. Yeah, it's a futanari obelisk.
• 8:06
  My favorite category tab. What are we doing?
• 8:10
  That better? That better make it into the
• 8:13
  final cut. Yeah, well.
• 8:15
  All right, so if you scroll to the right, you'll see the map
• 8:17
  that you're in Thodi. Yes, I see it.
• 8:21
  As you enter into the obelisk, as soon as you walk in, the
• 8:25
  water kind of just falls away from you.
• 8:28
  Not like you're in a force field, but like the pressure
• 8:30
  inside this room is keeping the water at Bay.
• 8:33
  Oh, I know what type of room you're talking about.
• 8:35
  I've seen Isakai's with rooms like this.
• 8:39
  I was thinking more like the the movie The Abyss of the Aliens
• 8:43
  Underwater, but yeah we'll go with anime.
• 8:46
  As you walk in there are 8 pools around an altar in the centre of
• 8:50
  the room. At the far end of the room there
• 8:54
  is a mural of an Angel painted on the wall and it's 1.
• 8:57
  You know fairly well as as a good Catholic boy it is Michael
• 9:01
  the Archangel. I knew.
• 9:04
  I knew it was. As soon as I scrolled over to
• 9:06
  the fucking map, I knew it. Yep.
• 9:09
  So go ahead and give me a perception roll.
• 9:13
  Oh, for the for the listeners. It's a vast circular chamber
• 9:15
  carved with smooth Blackstone that gleams faintly like
• 9:18
  polished Obsidian. The walls curved upward in a
• 9:21
  doomed ceiling where an enormous mural of the Angel angelic
• 9:24
  warrior looms overhead. Can I roll with advantage
• 9:29
  because of like a religion check?
• 9:31
  Actually, when you walk in here you feel empowered, like a
• 9:36
  paladin whose God is backing him.
• 9:38
  So anything you roll here is going to have a +2 all.
• 9:42
  Right, that's a dirty 20 then. Nice.
• 9:46
  Was that perception? Oh yeah, I forgot about mod.
• 9:48
  I forgot about modifiers. Give me a second PPPPPP 21.
• 9:54
  OK, so as you're looking into the room, you notice all of
• 9:57
  these pools in the circle around.
• 9:59
  You can't see into them from an angle, but you know the closer
• 10:02
  you get, the more clear the images that you can see what's
• 10:06
  inside them. Do you wish to take a look in
• 10:08
  there? Do you want to explore the room
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  more? Yeah, I'm going to approach the
• 10:14
  pool, the nearest pool on my right, but not that it's like,
• 10:18
  but I'm not going to like stroll up to it because I don't trust
• 10:20
  these pools yet. But I want to get closer to see
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  like if the image will clear up. The closer you get to it, the
• 10:27
  more the image seems to clear up, but it doesn't seem quite
• 10:31
  natural. Do you want to look directly
• 10:32
  into it or no? Fuck it, we bald.
• 10:35
  Yeah, I looked directly into it. Give me AD 8 roll baby girl. 8.
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  OK, as you look into this pool, the reflection of the Angel his
• 10:46
  sword ignites and a firelight flickers across the chamber.
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  And in the mirror of the Water, you see all the lanterns in the
• 10:54
  room light, but none of the lanterns in the room you're in
• 10:57
  light. So the the sword that's
• 11:00
  igniting, is that in the pool or in the room I'm in?
• 11:03
  That's in the pool. Nothing has changed in the rule
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  room that you're in. OK, I want to look into the pool
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  to my left. Give me another D8 rule
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  excluding the number 8. 6. As you look into the pool, the
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  entire room turns emerald green in the reflection, and the
• 11:20
  angel's sword drips with liquid light.
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  The pool churns with shifting matter.
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  Ice, ash, flame, all of these things come to your mind, but
• 11:34
  the one thing that really sticks out is liquid silver.
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  And you see Handsome Kitty reaching out to you from the
• 11:41
  pool, crying. Can't believe you left him.
• 11:44
  You let him die out there. I think I know what's going on
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  here. OK.
• 11:57
  But wait, there's 8. There is 8.
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  Was that a question? Is I'm like talking my way
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  myself through this because like this is this is the seven deadly
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  sins. But there's 8 pools, so that
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  mean one of them is the right pool.
• 12:21
  Are you trying to get the answer from me?
• 12:24
  No. Question mark.
• 12:29
  I don't know the right pool for what.
• 12:32
  Well, if there's seven deadly sins and there's 8 pools, one of
• 12:36
  the pools has to not be a deadly sin and that is the right pool.
• 12:41
  That is sound logic, but we're going to go back to hazy here in
• 12:45
  a second. But as you're pulling your head
• 12:48
  away from that second pool that you're looking in, you happen to
• 12:51
  catch a glimpse of something up by the Angel.
• 12:55
  Sammy. It's a little boy, a little lost
• 12:59
  looking boy, scared to death, just hovering over against the
• 13:03
  wall and his eyes look at you wide with fear and he's just
• 13:07
  shaking. What did I say?
• 13:09
  He. Said he's hovering.
• 13:11
  Cowering, not hovering. No, he's not hovering.
• 13:14
  Let's say he's hovering. I'm going to kill him that.
• 13:16
  'D be a very different NPC. I'm going to kill that kid.
• 13:19
  He will die anyways. Back to Hazy.
• 13:22
  What are you doing bud? I guess I'm tired of being the
• 13:27
  only person not in the water, so I guess I'm going to jump in the
• 13:29
  water are. You going to get down from the
• 13:32
  tree, then go to the water or you just going to do a flying
• 13:34
  leap from the water? Oh yeah, flying leap from the
• 13:37
  top rope. Give me an athletics check.
• 13:40
  That should be fine. Hey, 17.
• 13:45
  How nice. You jump off the top rope, the
• 13:49
  crowds cheering. You do a backflip into the
• 13:52
  water, but you hit something before you hit the bottom of it,
• 13:58
  and you look down and there's a body.
• 14:02
  It's basically picked. It's a bones inside clothing,
• 14:06
  but there's no organic matter anymore besides the bones.
• 14:09
  What the fuck happened to me? It's not you dumb ass.
• 14:13
  Oh. Jesus.
• 14:16
  Well, I'm going to go EW and go to the other side of the.
• 14:21
  Pool You swim to the east side of the of the pool.
• 14:25
  Baby bird, what are you doing? I hear a splash above me and I
• 14:29
  freak out and I go into the the the part of the.
• 14:34
  The Ablafutina. Obolus obolus oboluski.
• 14:42
  That sounds like a food from Eastern Europe.
• 14:48
  All right, well, you pop in there, get sucked right into it,
• 14:50
  and you pop out right behind thoughty.
• 14:54
  About say, I didn't know that we all knew there was an entrance.
• 14:56
  I want to go behind them. Oh OK, so you see baby bird
• 15:00
  disappearing. You just want to follow behind.
• 15:02
  Yes, Sir. Bloops.
• 15:05
  Bloops all around. I peek my head out and then I
• 15:08
  look up at the statue and I'm like why is that statues fat ass
• 15:12
  Dick out? Hazy before you dip in, give
• 15:18
  before you dive in. There you hear not the laughter,
• 15:22
  but you hear something that sounds like glass rubbing
• 15:27
  against the glass right before you go underwater.
• 15:31
  Yeah, that would kill me. So that should be fun.
• 15:34
  That was the last thing I heard before I came into this room.
• 15:37
  Correct. Dude then made my neck hurt and
• 15:39
  it wasn't even a real sound. You just talked about a sound
• 15:41
  and it made my neck hurt. Yeah, that would make me scared
• 15:44
  shitless. Yeah, it's pretty fucking awful
• 15:48
  sound, Dick. All right, all three of you are
• 15:50
  in here now with no sign of Pratikiti.
• 15:54
  Dottie, back to you. I'm.
• 15:56
  Going to go approach a child. Remember, neither one of these
• 15:59
  guys have any idea of what happened with the pools in here.
• 16:02
  Oh, I turn around and I say guys.
• 16:05
  Hey, I'm going to stop them and be like oh hell yeah, and I'm
• 16:08
  going to jump in the first one I see.
• 16:13
  Give me a look check. Mama didn't raise no hoe.
• 16:17
  Let's see. Oh it's -1 I should be falling
• 16:21
  6. OK, you go to jump into the 1st
• 16:25
  pool and you can. You're so athletic, you're not
• 16:28
  used to this whole golden body. You clear it and you just land
• 16:32
  ass first on the other side. Boom, and you take two points of
• 16:35
  damage. I'm going to get up and act like
• 16:37
  nothing happened and, you know, point at him and be like,
• 16:40
  continue. What did what did he need to
• 16:43
  roll to to pass that? Or was that a pass?
• 16:47
  The world may never know. You will never know I.
• 16:51
  Hate it here, All right? I'm just like, I'm just, I'm
• 16:56
  just like stuck on the fact. Like, was that a failure?
• 16:58
  Was that a success? I don't, I don't know.
• 17:01
  That's the beauty behind not telling you.
• 17:04
  All right, so yeah, I'm going to go approach the child.
• 17:07
  No, thought he don't do it. Jesus Christ.
• 17:11
  All right, go to that kid. You head north up to the child
• 17:14
  and when you get to them, this kid starts screaming I'm.
• 17:19
  Sorry, I'm sorry. Leave it alone.
• 17:22
  And there's the screaming, just it was really abrupt and it
• 17:25
  stops you like 5 feet away from. Him can.
• 17:32
  I'm not giving kids pick. Pick what you're doing very
• 17:34
  carefully. Knock his ass out dude.
• 17:38
  Step away very slowly, don't make eye contact.
• 17:42
  Let me look at my character sheet real quick.
• 17:44
  Oh no. I'm assuming adrenaline will
• 17:49
  make the situation better. Probably, probably not.
• 17:55
  Never know. OK, well, I say, hey there, kid,
• 18:01
  everything's OK. But what are you?
• 18:03
  What are you so sorry for? Give me a persuasion check. 6.
• 18:12
  This kid starts screaming for his dad and he runs to the pool
• 18:15
  closest to him, the northwest pool, and jumps in disappears.
• 18:20
  Shoot the water. I look into the pool.
• 18:22
  I look into the pool. Give me AD 8 check. 5.
• 18:27
  Fuck, you look into this pool surface and it's perfectly still
• 18:31
  after that kid just jumps in there, there's nothing.
• 18:35
  Everything looks completely untouched and exactly like the
• 18:38
  room looks. And as you're looking through
• 18:41
  there, baby bird, you happen to look towards the pool up in the
• 18:45
  North East corner, and you see Sammy's head poke out just a
• 18:48
  little bit out of the pool, looking over at Thadi who has
• 18:50
  his back turned to him. What are you going to do?
• 18:56
  OK so I see the kid poke his head out and I scream and run at
• 19:01
  him because that shit is freaky. Give me an intimidation roll.
• 19:09
  That 20 holy shit I am the scariest motherfucker.
• 19:16
  He just sees this dripping former Jew, now Catholic boy
• 19:20
  running at him, his mustache still dripping that weird black
• 19:23
  stuff for some reason, and you just run up to the pool and you
• 19:26
  snatch him out of the pool snatch and you plop him on the
• 19:30
  ground. He's real.
• 19:33
  The kid starts freaking out again.
• 19:34
  He's like I'm. Sorry, please don't kill.
• 19:36
  Me. Oh, I'm so sorry.
• 19:37
  They're coming. They're coming.
• 19:38
  Please stop. Help me.
• 19:40
  I just want to go home. Like grabbing by the shoulders
• 19:42
  that I shake and violently. Who's coming?
• 19:45
  All of my strengths, just who's coming?
• 19:46
  Who is it? And with that, you guys hear
• 19:49
  that, that glass on glass noise that coming from the entrance,
• 19:59
  Crazy. It's your turn.
• 20:05
  I'm going to go towards said noise and see if I can see the
• 20:09
  source of it. So towards the entrance.
• 20:12
  OK, you start heading towards the entrance here.
• 20:15
  Are you sneaking or are you just?
• 20:17
  I'm always sneaking, yeah. OK.
• 20:19
  Give me a sneak check. Yeah, you, you are a ninja.
• 20:22
  Now be more like Ninja. I I like him, just imagining him
• 20:27
  like crouching and like walking quietly and he's like brother.
• 20:34
  It's actually not him saying, it's his feet making the noise
• 20:37
  as he walks. It's a dirty 20.
• 20:42
  Dirty 20, very nice. So you sneak to the side here,
• 20:45
  you go northwest around the corner, and you peek around the
• 20:50
  edge here and what you see is just horrifying.
• 20:57
  Does it have a crystal penis? Why is this penis this.
• 21:01
  Monster. Oh my God, shut up.
• 21:03
  You see this monster made of glass and you can tell that's
• 21:07
  what the noise is. It's movements.
• 21:08
  Just glass noises just scraping against each other as it walks
• 21:12
  into the entrance. Oh, what an annoying creature
• 21:15
  you are. Is it my turn?
• 21:17
  Is it my turn? Everybody roll for initiative.
• 21:22
  Damn it, damn it damn it, damn it, damn it damn it. 15-5.
• 21:27
  Oh my God. 2 Hazy, You're up first.
• 21:33
  I'm going to I guess try my luck.
• 21:37
  Did it see me? No, it hasn't seen you, so
• 21:39
  anything you do is going to have a + 2 to it.
• 21:41
  It's flat footed. But it's mine says sneak attack
• 21:44
  is a plus D6 damage if enemy is flat footed.
• 21:48
  Yeah, so the +2 is just that if you make contact, that plus is
• 21:54
  even more added on to it for your damage.
• 21:57
  OK, well I want to do some. No, I'm not going to do anything
• 22:00
  crazy this time. I'm actually just going to like
• 22:03
  samurai this shit, be as efficient as possible and try to
• 22:07
  jam that fucking spear. Bros Bipolar.
• 22:11
  What? What weapon are you going to use
• 22:13
  on him? That spear.
• 22:15
  OK, you're going to use this spear?
• 22:17
  What? Fuck.
• 22:17
  What did we say this spear was last time?
• 22:21
  Well, give me the give me the D20 check. 9.
• 22:26
  With with the +2, so that's 11. Oh, so 11?
• 22:29
  Yeah, 11. OK, you swing at that thing and
• 22:32
  it just without even looking at you, it just turns its shoulder
• 22:35
  and your spear misses it and then its head slowly turns at
• 22:38
  you and you hear, just hear that.
• 22:42
  My bad. It's cool.
• 22:45
  Cool. Whoops.
• 22:47
  All right, so this thing is going to go.
• 22:49
  It comes charging at you guys, it just completely ignores Hazy.
• 22:54
  Oh shit. The glass man comes charging at
• 22:56
  you guys, but he makes it to right in front of the altar.
• 22:59
  Sammy picks up a rock and throws it at this fucker and it just
• 23:04
  hits the glass, shattering it. Now there's just pieces of it on
• 23:08
  the floor. Don't like that?
• 23:11
  I mean, it's completely in pieces all over the room now.
• 23:14
  Sammy saved our lives. Sammy picks up another rock and
• 23:18
  pegs you in the fucking head with it.
• 23:21
  I'm a beat the shit out of this kid.
• 23:23
  He's a safe trick. Here are the dangers that we
• 23:27
  don't condone violence against children.
• 23:28
  All right. What are we doing, gentlemen?
• 23:32
  Boddy, hold him down, we're going to beat his brakes off.
• 23:37
  Well, we're not doing that. Pickup should be.
• 23:42
  I think we're. Boddy, hold him down.
• 23:45
  We're going to beat him up. All right, anything that starts
• 23:48
  with Thoddy, hold him down. It's not going in the episode.
• 23:51
  Thoddy, quit licking your lips. We're going to leave this kid
• 23:54
  alone. I'm going to, I'm going to jump
• 24:04
  into the pool that the kid jumped into earlier.
• 24:09
  OK, give me a luck check. 12 all.
• 24:13
  Right. You jump into this pool and then
• 24:15
  when you hit the water, your mind kind of goes blank and it
• 24:18
  goes back to a memory of a very embarrassing time.
• 24:22
  What embarrassing time is it thinking of thoughty?
• 24:25
  Got to be honest. Oh geez.
• 24:28
  Oh man. God's listening.
• 24:31
  Where do I start? We don't need all of them, just
• 24:35
  pick one. Probably the time I trusted a
• 24:38
  fart in 6th grade. Oh no.
• 24:42
  Is it I? Is that all you want?
• 24:46
  I can keep going. Yeah, no, that's that's fine.
• 24:49
  I think we all figured out what happens there because of that.
• 24:53
  You see Pretty Kitty at the bottom of this pool, and his
• 24:55
  body is just kind of floating there.
• 24:58
  You open your eyes and you're brought back to reality.
• 25:01
  You're in the water holding your breath.
• 25:02
  What are you doing next? I'm going to try to grab him.
• 25:09
  Is there like a surface that kind of swim back to where I
• 25:11
  jumped in at? Yeah, you can swim back, but
• 25:14
  when you go to grab him, your fingers just go through him like
• 25:19
  he's just an illusion in the water.
• 25:21
  Does he moan? No, he's snoring.
• 25:24
  OK, well let's swim back to the top.
• 25:26
  Nothing I can do here. All right, Hazy, what are you
• 25:28
  doing as study climbs out of the pool?
• 25:31
  I'm going to be pissed that I missed, you know, the pool last
• 25:34
  time, so I'm going to focus real hard, dive head first right into
• 25:39
  it. Give me ADH check.
• 25:43
  So I got A7 all. Right now give me a look check.
• 25:48
  18. 18 Very nice. So you go to jump in this pool
• 25:51
  to the northwest of you, next to pool 6, and right before you hit
• 25:59
  the water, you could see in the water that the Angel in the
• 26:02
  reflection is dead. The wings are torn, the body's
• 26:06
  Gray, and as soon as you hit the water, you see another Angel in
• 26:10
  the water and its eyes open and look at you.
• 26:12
  Oh. Fuck.
• 26:15
  Well, it's metal. And all of a sudden, all these
• 26:18
  undead hands reach out from the bottom of the pool and start
• 26:21
  grabbing at you. Oh.
• 26:23
  Shit. But where are they grabbing at?
• 26:26
  They're grabbing for his crotch. I allow it.
• 26:30
  Be one of the obeliskis. Oh, his hands are Bony.
• 26:37
  A bone for the Bodie hands. I've always wanted to go for
• 26:41
  full zombie. Give me a deck saving throw.
• 26:44
  Man. Uh oh. 8.
• 26:47
  OK, yeah. They grab onto you and they're
• 26:49
  starting to pull on you a little bit and in a panic, you're
• 26:53
  starting to lose breath and you take one point of damage while
• 26:55
  you're while you're trying to escape.
• 26:57
  While that's going on, thoughty baby bird roll for initiative.
• 27:02
  As Baby Bird was looking at this kid and thought he was jumping
• 27:05
  in the pool and coming out, and Hazy's doing that, none of you
• 27:07
  noticed this mirror Monsters. Pieces collected back together
• 27:12
  and now there's three monsters. Fuck.
• 27:16
  I fucking knew it. I fucking knew it.
• 27:21
  Fuck, I rolled it 2. That's not good.
• 27:27
  I rolled at 12. They rolled at 9:19 and 8:00.
• 27:32
  Uh. Oh.
• 27:35
  So this first one jumps over the it's, it's not exactly an altar,
• 27:40
  it's more like kind of a pedestal with like a hole in the
• 27:42
  center of the room. But weirdly enough, everything
• 27:45
  else in the room looks very like Catholic Christiany looking
• 27:49
  except for the center. It's has Pagan symbols written
• 27:53
  in it and some things that look like lightning bolts.
• 27:57
  Not not 2 lightning bolts next to each other.
• 27:59
  Not that, not that. Shoo.
• 28:01
  There's a hole. There's a hole in the center
• 28:04
  that's almost spear shape. Is that on your mind recently?
• 28:07
  I just didn't want baby bird getting scared.
• 28:09
  Oh, he's not Jewish anymore. Recovered that early?
• 28:12
  Earlier. Oh yeah, Hey, you're fine now.
• 28:14
  Yeah, I ripped off my sideburns. That's how it works anyway.
• 28:18
  Stuff. The middle class man gets the
• 28:21
  youth dotty, the second class man gets the you baby bird, and
• 28:24
  the other one is just standing there looking at Hazy in the
• 28:27
  water. Oh no.
• 28:30
  He's spawned camping hazy it's. It's your guys.
• 28:33
  Turn. Well, Hazy's already responded
• 28:37
  once. So wait, who goes first?
• 28:40
  Thought he. Yeah, thought he's turned.
• 28:43
  OK, well I'm I'm gonna Gordon Freeman this and use my crowbar
• 28:50
  in my pocket and combine it with my Street Fighter ability or
• 28:57
  plus do damage with improvised weapons and I'm going to swing
• 28:59
  on them. Swing that crowbar.
• 29:03
  Oh baby, a nap 20. All right, soon as you hit this
• 29:08
  guy shatters him. He's just in pieces in front of
• 29:11
  you. Nice.
• 29:13
  I'm going to grab Sammy and put him in between me and this glass
• 29:17
  monster. I'm like, throw the rock, kid,
• 29:21
  do it. You turn around to grab Sammy,
• 29:24
  but he's disappeared and you see the pool right next to you,
• 29:27
  sloshing a little bit like he jumped in again.
• 29:30
  Fuck. Coward.
• 29:32
  He's 8. That's the other guy jumping
• 29:35
  into pools. OK, I'm going to, I'm going to
• 29:40
  blast this motherfucker Was my thumper point blank.
• 29:44
  Get him 5. For your role.
• 29:50
  Yeah, whoops. Yeah, you go to blast him, but
• 29:55
  the mirror shining off of him is like really hard to see.
• 29:58
  And so you actually hit what you thought was him, but it's like a
• 30:01
  duplicate mirage next to him. My eyes.
• 30:06
  All right, Hazy, give me another deck saving throw.
• 30:08
  Oh. 17. OK, yeah, you you kick your legs
• 30:13
  free of these undead hands coming at you, and you surface.
• 30:20
  Now we'll roll for initiative and I'll put you in.
• 30:23
  That would be 16. Very nice.
• 30:27
  As soon as you come out, you knew these fucking mirror guys
• 30:30
  were going to be here. So you get an attack up
• 30:32
  opportunity on this guy and he's not expecting you to pop out, so
• 30:35
  he's going to be flat footed again.
• 30:37
  Nice. Well, yeah, so I guess I'm just
• 30:41
  going to use the spear again. Hold on, give me one second.
• 30:48
  Guys, while he's gone, we should say bad things about him.
• 30:53
  He's not a good leader. Don't say that.
• 30:58
  Well, he's going to edit all this, isn't he?
• 31:00
  Yeah, probably. Sorry, wife is leaving for work.
• 31:02
  All right, swing that spear. What happened?
• 31:07
  Nothing. We're we're swinging that spear.
• 31:11
  You'll see it when you edit. You'll see it when you edit the
• 31:13
  episode. Oh.
• 31:14
  You fucks. All right, What was the spear?
• 31:17
  Was it AD 10? We had him rolling.
• 31:20
  Yeah, I think so. Oh, roll the D20, see if you
• 31:23
  hit. The D20 was a 19.
• 31:26
  Oh, that hits then. Give me the D10 me that didn't.
• 31:30
  Ah 9. Yeah, you hit this thing with a
• 31:33
  spear and it just smashes it, but not only that, the lightning
• 31:37
  comes out of it and fries the glass pieces on the ground,
• 31:40
  turning them into shitty sand. Noise y'all see what I just did?
• 31:46
  Is that how it works? Reverse Engineered sand, yeah.
• 31:49
  I think like it would just melt into like a puddle.
• 31:52
  For glass, yeah. Is that how that works?
• 31:57
  You can't really turn glass back in the sand unless you grind it.
• 32:01
  Yeah, I guess you would have to grind it.
• 32:02
  You would know about grinding, huh?
• 32:04
  Yeah. All right, it turns into a pool.
• 32:07
  It turns into a liquid, a pool like the Terminator in the
• 32:10
  second one on the floor. Yeah, science.
• 32:16
  Science bitch. Science Roofs.
• 32:19
  As that's happening, more of a Beetman's world kind of guy.
• 32:25
  Anyways, these two glass guys still have their turn, and they
• 32:29
  both formed back in front of Thoughty and Baby Bird, and
• 32:33
  that's their turns. Hazy.
• 32:35
  It's your turn again. Nice, I'm going to sneak up on
• 32:41
  the closest one to me and see if I can get a nice little clean
• 32:44
  shot. You don't even have to roll for
• 32:46
  that, you just sneak up behind him.
• 32:48
  So you got to go northeast, sneak up behind the one that's
• 32:50
  facing thoughty, but you don't get to attack yet.
• 32:55
  I'm going to do a little dance to distract the glass man as he
• 33:00
  sits up behind him. All right, if you do that, he's
• 33:04
  going to get a turn before Hazy gets his turn.
• 33:06
  Fine, I'll grapple him. All right, go ahead and give me
• 33:11
  AD 20. 6. Oh, you go to grab him.
• 33:15
  Oh. Wait, nevermind 8.
• 33:19
  Oh, that's better. You got to grab him and you take
• 33:21
  two points of damage from like all the glass shards just
• 33:24
  cutting into your arms as you try to wrap around I.
• 33:26
  Grit my teeth because I was a sad emo boy in high school and
• 33:30
  I'm used to getting my hands and wrist cut and I bear down and
• 33:35
  grapple that little monster. And you slightly moan while
• 33:39
  doing it. And you came a little.
• 33:41
  Yeah, maybe, Maybe. All right, well, I'll, I'll let
• 33:46
  the grapple happen, but you do take damage from it, baby bird.
• 33:48
  What are you doing? He he does not take damage from
• 33:51
  your grappling, by the way. That's fine.
• 33:54
  I blink really hard, getting the tears out of my eyes from
• 33:57
  getting blinded, and then I launch another.
• 34:01
  Send it. Seven.
• 34:04
  What happened? My good rules.
• 34:05
  What the fuck you? Give me a damage roll.
• 34:11
  Wait, I hit. You hit something.
• 34:16
  Oh no, 2D6. I hope it's a child and not
• 34:21
  anyone important. A6 and A2.
• 34:28
  Good Lord. Wait, why do you roll 2 dice?
• 34:33
  It says 2D6. That's my damage.
• 34:36
  Was this your grenade? You shooting at a thumper?
• 34:39
  Fuck yeah. Holy shit.
• 34:41
  Thottie you take 6 points of damage.
• 34:43
  Hazy you take two points of damage.
• 34:45
  Sons of bitches. My friends, no, it's.
• 34:49
  Completely missed shooting W hitting your friends.
• 34:52
  This guy is clearly South of you.
• 34:56
  Hazy. You're back in the mix, buddy
• 34:57
  girl. Oh, wait, no, this guy takes a
• 34:59
  turn. He's going to hit Thottie.
• 35:02
  Thottie. What's your AC?
• 35:04
  It doesn't matter. That's a three.
• 35:05
  He does nothing. Then this guy's going to hit
• 35:08
  baby bird. Baby bird, What's your AC?
• 35:10
  Shut the front door. 19. Well, this guy got a 5, so they
• 35:14
  both like that one's grappled and it can't hit you.
• 35:18
  The one that's trying to hit you, baby bird apparently is
• 35:21
  also thrown off by like all the sounds and blasts going to the
• 35:25
  left of him. He's he's very confused and he
• 35:27
  swings and misses. That makes sense because glass
• 35:30
  is very prone to like vibrational disturbances.
• 35:36
  Science. Sure.
• 35:38
  Science. Easy, you're back up.
• 35:40
  All right, well, I'm going to am.
• 35:41
  I'm still unseen, like sneaking. Yeah, he's focused on him.
• 35:45
  You guys have him flanked, so anything you do to him is going
• 35:47
  to be a + 2, as well as your sneak, which is another +2.
• 35:51
  So you get +4 and then your other stuff here gets added to
• 35:56
  your attacks, or gets added to your damage, not attacks.
• 36:00
  I'm going to do like the Spartans just thrust forward
• 36:04
  directly into his back. Thought he's holding him.
• 36:08
  Yeah, that's probably not a good idea, huh?
• 36:11
  I will. I mean you can.
• 36:12
  Do it. I will not do that.
• 36:14
  I will sweep at his legs. Sweep the leg, Johnny.
• 36:19
  OK, give me give me a melee check. 11.
• 36:25
  You go to sweep at him and he without even turning around he
• 36:30
  just jumps up both legs and you miss.
• 36:33
  What the fuck? That was pretty cool.
• 36:37
  Now this guy is going to squeeze down on Thoddy and he can't
• 36:40
  miss. He does 3 points of damage to
• 36:44
  you, Thoddy. That's crazy.
• 36:45
  And I want you to know that's incredibly impressive because
• 36:48
  the damage he's rolling is AD 20.
• 36:52
  Next one's going to take a swing of baby bird.
• 36:56
  This one does 13 points of damage to you Baby bird.
• 36:59
  Geez. Oh shit.
• 37:02
  He just clocked you in the face. He's finally his vibrations have
• 37:04
  stopped and he hits you and it's just glass in your face like
• 37:08
  it's a bar fight in Thailand. I think he lost some teeth there
• 37:12
  too. Can I toss this dude into the
• 37:15
  pool? Give me an athletics check.
• 37:20
  That's such a good idea. 15. Yeah, you got to pick this guy
• 37:25
  up and toss him right into the pool, and as soon as he hits the
• 37:29
  water, he just disappears. Well.
• 37:34
  Take that as a win for now. OK.
• 37:37
  So worry about that Lady. After endangering my friends, I
• 37:41
  grab C4 and I activate it in my extended hand at the monster.
• 37:49
  Give me a roll. Let.
• 37:52
  Me. Get rid of these other dice.
• 37:54
  Come on, baby. 12. It explodes.
• 37:59
  Wait, what's the damage for your C4?
• 38:03
  What's the radius? 15 foot.
• 38:06
  Damn it. OK, so give me two damage rolls.
• 38:10
  Give me 3 damage rolls. 1/3 and three.
• 38:18
  All right, so the Glassman takes one point of damage, which
• 38:21
  shatters him, and then so he and Hazy both take three points of
• 38:25
  damage. I'm going to run over there to
• 38:30
  the pile and stab it with the spear.
• 38:33
  Stab that spear. Can we?
• 38:35
  Like does he get to keep his hand after pulling a stunt like
• 38:38
  that? He doesn't take damage from.
• 38:41
  Him. Yeah, Point blank bomber.
• 38:43
  Yeah, but can I? Like, can me and him roll D20
• 38:46
  against each other and if I roll higher he loses his hand?
• 38:50
  Well, no. Why would you do that?
• 38:54
  For fun. Hazy stabbed that thing before I
• 38:58
  thought he takes Paper's hand. An 8.
• 39:01
  You go to bucking, stab that thing and you miss.
• 39:03
  Give me a damage role. Son of a bitch, I'm a terrible
• 39:08
  ninja. It's gonna hit baby.
• 39:10
  Bird. Yes.
• 39:13
  No. What was it?
• 39:16
  The D10. D10. 5.
• 39:19
  You do five points of damage, Baby, baby bird.
• 39:22
  That's a total of 18 points. What are you?
• 39:24
  What's your HP? I'm dead.
• 39:28
  No, OK, he's down. I have 18.
• 39:30
  I have 18 in points. No, he's, he's down.
• 39:35
  I'm the one that landed the killing blow.
• 39:39
  And so as you stab baby bird, you stab him right in the
• 39:42
  stomach and he feels lightning shoot through his stomach and he
• 39:45
  starts rolling around and his sweatshirt kind of lifts up and
• 39:48
  so does his tac vest. And you see a black mark at the
• 39:51
  center of his stomach and it slowly grows in 10 inch diameter
• 39:57
  and his stomach is just black. And you look at your own hand,
• 39:59
  hazy in your whole hand, which was was just originally your
• 40:03
  fingertips turning black from using the weapon.
• 40:05
  Now your whole hands black and you're starting to lose feeling
• 40:08
  in it. Well, that's not good.
• 40:09
  I'm. Getting frostbite?
• 40:11
  Why? Would it be frostbite from
• 40:13
  lightning? I don't know.
• 40:15
  Sammy pops out and he grabs pieces of the glass man and he
• 40:19
  throws it into the pool to the right of him.
• 40:23
  He yells for you guys help me throw them in the pool before
• 40:26
  they get back together. Quickly don't.
• 40:29
  Tell me what to do. I can't say me I'm dead.
• 40:33
  They're all in the pool now, so that's not a problem.
• 40:36
  Well, he's got there's still pieces of black he's trying to
• 40:38
  do. Whoa.
• 40:41
  I'm just saying. All right, so you guys, just so
• 40:44
  you 3 adults are just going to watch this fucking scared child
• 40:46
  just pick up glass pieces in a dungeon in a Pagan underworld,
• 40:49
  Throw it into the pool. First of all, what does this kid
• 40:52
  do it? Wait, I'm dead.
• 40:55
  That's all the time we have for today everyone.
• 40:58
  Hope you enjoy this episode. Come to find out if Baby Bird
• 41:01
  dies in the next episode or not, you're going to have to do a
• 41:03
  saving throw when we come back, man.
• 41:06
  OK. Transmission loss Teen status
• 41:12
  unknown.