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How Raising My Frequency Raised My Confidence (Plus: Compatibility In Relationships) · Conscious Mastery: The Science and Spirituality of Creating Your Next Level in Life

• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever get the feeling that you're destined for an even bigger, bolder, more magical life?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Conscious Glow Up.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, intuitive energy healer and coach Crystal Ward.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: My goal is to help you create the life you fantasize about by teaching you energetic spiritual laws of the universe and neuroscience tools.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'll share how I utilize these teachings in my own life with stories of single motherhood, entrepreneurship, finances, and relationships.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dive on into the depths of consciousness and glow up from the inside out.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Hey guys, welcome back to the Conscious Glow Up.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: If you listen to my last podcast, that was the first time I made a podcast without scripting three to four pages of like an actual script.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a lot of fun with it, and it was really cool because I was able to just kind of channel what I wanted to say.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: I had very brief notes about what I wanted to talk about, and I felt really good about it, and I thought it was really powerful.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: So that one, if you didn't listen to it, was about my relationship reflections and how things that felt like big problems in my relationship, they weren't actually problems, but those things that I perceived as problems were actually pivotal for my growth, specifically in the relationship area of life, technically social.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I had a lot of fun with it, so I'm actually gonna do that again.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: What prompted, and I still have a little bit of a cold, so pardon me if I have to grab some water, my throat is still pretty scratchy, and it's late.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: I tend to do my best work late at night.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's because most people are sleeping.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: I was talking to someone about this yesterday, one of my intuition peers and friends, and we were talking about how our intuition feels so much more powerful.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Our third eye is so much more powerful, it feels that way at night, and I think there's just you know less energy going on around me.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: So this episode was prompted by a uh 21-day challenge that I joined.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: So if you've heard of John Hillstead, he is a he's really cool.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: He's a I guess you would call him a manifestation coach.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure what he technically calls himself, but he's a really powerful force on that I found on Instagram, and I found out about him three years ago, and he has had this$33 challenge I highly recommend, especially if you are a business owner.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it is a challenge about raising your frequency, and frequency is everything.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: I've really, really learned that in business.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: I've had my business, I'm going in my seventh year of business, and it has been so much more this episode.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna talk in a little bit about inner winds and outer wins, but you would think of a business as outer winds would be how many clients you have, how much revenue you've made.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Those are the outer external wins, but the inner wins are who you become in the process.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I've always said that well, not always, but since I started a business that being an entrepreneur is personal development on like the highest dose of steroids possible.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: It is constant portals of growth and learning and becoming, and frequency is a huge thing if you are in a frequency of lower vibrational states of fear and worry and scarcity.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: That is going to be reflected in the amount of clients you sign because people are going to be feeling that frequency from you, and it is not the frequency of conviction and being super sure of yourself and and being in that frequency of self-love and confidence and truth and authentic expression.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I have had a lot of fun over the years.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Fun, I say fun.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's been there's been challenges.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Growth comes with challenge, that's why they call it growing pains.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I have had so much fun learning about frequency and learning how to tap into higher frequencies and holding frequencies, even when my emotions want to tell me that I should.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, even when my emotions are in a lower frequency state of scarcity or fear and worry about my business, is this ever gonna work?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: So it has been a true blessing to be able to learn from some really powerful mentors that I've hired over the years who focus a lot on energetics and identity and and frequency.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I heard about John's frequency challenge um, like I said, three years ago.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: And for some reason, I mean$33, I was investing tens of thousands of dollars into mentors and courses.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: I've invested at least$100,000 by now into myself, and for some well, I know the reason I was gonna say for some reason I didn't invest in him, but I figured out the reason the other day.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: It is because I wasn't ready for that challenge.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: I know I had a lot of I was I was learning and growing and and tapping into higher frequencies, but just something about that challenge, it wasn't the right time for me.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: So the other day he he's been in a launch for it.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: So most of his content right now is about this challenge, and I was like, wait a minute, what the heck?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Why why haven't I bought this yet?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I bought it, and I think I'm on day 12 or 13 now, and it has been so potent, so powerful.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I highly recommend it.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you're not a business owner, even if you're somebody who just wants to elevate your frequency and feel so activated, he has such a great activating energy.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's been really fun.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I was sitting there thinking on day two or three of why why did it take me so long to purchase this from him?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And and I realized how ready I was to he calls them codes, how ready I was finally to accept his codes and to welcome his codes into my DNA, really.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not really about learning everything he says, I've known.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's about a remembering when we learn these amazing things from our mentors.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I believe it's things that we have already known and embodied in previous lifetimes.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: So we are just remembering the activations and the codes and the knowledge that they are giving us now.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's what that resonance is, is it's like that soul remembrance.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I he talks a lot about visibility.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in the second part.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: There's I think three phases.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's three phases of his challenge, and I'm in the visibility part.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: So it got me thinking about my own visibility journey.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna start with way back in the day, I was I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in other episodes.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: I was the shyest kid in class.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: There was nobody shyer than myself, and it was so awkward for me for so long.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember in first grade, the teacher had me sit in the front row, and if I had to give an answer in class, she would come up to me, bless her heart, Mrs.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Cave.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: She was an amazing teacher.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: She would put her ear up to my mouth so that she could hear me.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: And there have must have been, well, I know there were, you know, times in my life where I learned very young that it was not safe to express who I was.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just we we all have our thing, right?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: There's there's class clowns, there's the kids who are so excited to share what they know and be the kid to raise their hand, and that's my daughter.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: I am amazed at who she is, and just she's so different than I was.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's really cool to see.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: So she'll have her own challenges.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, we come to this earth experience, needing to grow through things and everything that we grow through.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: So my visibility, I guess you could call them wounds, whatever wounded me very, very young.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: Not intentionally.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: The where I picked up these wounds, they were not intentional things said to me or done to me by people, but it is just things happen, and we our brain programs, okay, this is safe, this is not safe.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: So somewhere very young, I it was not safe to be me.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you can actually go back to in utero.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: So when I studied as a in a subconscious rewiring, it was a a year-long coaching course I took after I took the basic health and life coach training from the place I got certified, health coach institute, in 2019.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I took their mastery course, and that was all about subconscious rewiring.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: So we learned about beliefs that humans have.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: There are five core beliefs, and one of them is the right to exist, one of them is the right to belong.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: There's there's a yeah, like I said, there's five.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: I can't list them off the top of my head right now.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: But these beliefs often get skewed very early on.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: So there are develop developmental stages of childhood, and we are living in our subconscious mind until about age seven, so really fully until age five, and then I think it goes a little more kind of a little more, but you become conscious around that time, and then you're really conscious around age seven, and you start realizing, oh, okay, um, you start seeing life in a different way.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: So one of the developmental windows is in utero to two months, one is two months to, I believe it's four months, and then six months to a year.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: I could be wrong, but I think I should do a whole episode on this because it's really fascinating.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt very blessed that I discovered this program when my baby was an infant.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel really equipped as a parent to have this knowledge.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And at that time, I was I knew, okay, well, I knew consciously she's in this developmental window, so I have to make sure, you know, that she feels safe to take action and she feels safe to belong.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: And as much as I try, as much as parents try, we're still gonna mess up our kids in ways that we don't want to and ways that we don't plan, but it's just it's part of the process, and it was also like a double-edged sword because the more I know about this stuff, the more aware I am of not only how I can try and prevent these skewed beliefs for her, but also the more you know, the more you know, and that knowledge isn't always blissful, so I now I'm hyper aware of oh my gosh, I did this or I said this, and now she's gonna have the belief that she's not good enough or whatever it might be.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so with my visibility wound that led to me being extremely shy and the teacher having to put her ear up to my mouth to hear me, and all through school I would turn b beat red.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean my face, I could f it was hot, hot if I had to speak in front of the class or give a presentation in front of the class, and then that l trickled into college as well.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I did learn a really cool skill in a communications class, or it was around the time I had communications class in college.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think I learned it elsewhere, but I started using it.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: So if you ever have to give a presentation, then I started digging my fingernails into the palm of my hand, and that actually put a lot of my blood into my palms, and I could tell that my face wouldn't get as red.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you can do deep breathing.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I've learned cool techniques to combat that, but I there were a few college classes that I got B's in when I did all of the homework, I passed all the exams, I I'm an incredible writer, and we did a lot of writing in my English classes, but the literature classes, I would get A's on everything, but I would have to get B's in the class.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: The teacher would have to give me a B because discussion was part of the grade, and I was just not discussing.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: I did realize in my final year of college that I just something shifted in me, and I really wanted to do the best I could.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: I actually did.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Here's a little side story.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was on Zoloft from age 16 to I think 20.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And as much as I studied in class, so this was freshman year, the entire year, I failed, and I had been an A-B student my entire life, maybe a C or D here and there, but I had been a really good student, but I failed an entire semester's worth of college because I would study and study, and these are basic classes, like you know, math 106.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: I got a freaking F in, and I would study and I would not pass these tests, and I realized my brain, I was on a really high dose of Zolof for somebody who was 130 pounds, five foot five inches.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I was on 100 milligrams of Zoloft, and I learned later that that's kind of a lot, but it was affecting my brain in ways that was it was just not healthy, and I felt like I was a zombie and my memory was absolutely trash.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: So my dad was helping me fund school, he would pay a base payment, and then I would the rest would go on a loan, and he was, you know, we had to have a you know coming to reality moment.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what is going on?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm normally a really great student, and these classes are not that hard.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I got off of the medicine and then I ended up taking a full semester off of college.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: I told him, I was like, look, I'm gonna get off the drugs, let's give me some time.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized in that time, that semester off of school, I I nanied and I had a job at a restaurant.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I was working my butt off, and I realized I really love learning, so I want to go back to college.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I went back.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was on social probation, so I couldn't take more than 12 credits per semester for I think it was a year.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then after that, that's when that thing flipped in me, a switch flipped, and I was like, I want to do so well, and and I enjoyed it so much, and I had my brain back, I had my energy back, my focus, my memory was getting better.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: And the last year of college, I ended up getting straight A pluses.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: I got straight A's one semester and then straight A pluses.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: And after the probation, on my last year, I had gotten permission from the dean.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure I had to write letters and stuff, um, asking to take more credits than normal, which in a normal college semester is 15 credits.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: So the second to last semester I took 19 credits, and these are English major classes.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: So you're reading a hundred to two hundred pages every few days.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: I guess I don't remember exactly what my class schedule was, but every few days and then writing, answering long essay form questions as the homework.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I was working hard, it wasn't just memory learning stuff, memorizing it, and taking exams.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: I was putting time and effort, and I took 19 credits, and then the follow the last semester, I took 21 credits and I had an internship and I had a job on the weekends.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that is when I got straight A plus.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I learned, okay, you're gonna have to talk in class.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: So part of my higher self's lesson in this lifetime is visibility and feeling safe to be seen, even when I say things that might not be um uh accepted by everyone, and part of the visibility was people pleasing.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: I never wanted to say anything that was wrong.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: I I spent a lot of my childhood, and this isn't to like out or bash, you know, my caretakers, but I spent a lot of time in the corner as a as punishment because I was very opinionated, very emotional, and I got was in the corner a lot for disrespecting or arguing.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: And to me, I was just saying my piece, you know, saying what I felt and believed, and it was a journey for me and my poor stepmom, but we made it.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: We have a great relationship today.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_01: So that further instilled the belief in me, the fear of expressing my truth, and and it it all it all worked so perfectly together because that is something that I had to, from a high conscious perspective, I I'm so okay with all of that because I had to learn how to move through my fear of being seen, my fear of speaking my truth, and those final two semesters of class and taking part in the discussions, it helped that a lot.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: But what really helped me was in 2020, you might remember that year, there was a lot going on, and there was a lot of stuff coming to light, and I was, and now this is not a chat about vaccines or the pharmaceutical industry.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: I am a health coach.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: I am all about natural health, and I have a lot to say on that, but I'm not here to say it today.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I was one of the people speaking out about the dangers of the new vaccine that was not really tested on people.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I was listening to, I had listened to by that point, I was listening to health podcasts 24-7 for four years.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I was listening to a lot of a lot of doctors who were looking at a lot of things, and I just felt in my heart and in my body and my intuition at the time it wasn't scientifically precise, dialed in like I'm training it now at the school I'm at.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I was still pretty in touch with my intuition and I was just worried for humanity.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Again, I we all have our own we all have our own beliefs, and this isn't about like whether you got the vaccine or not or whether I got it or not, but I what this era did for me was help me speak my truth even when it went against what 97% of society believed and was saying, and I lost a lot of friends.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: I lost a lot of friends, family members thought I was batshit fucking crazy, and but I I I had my back.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: I learned to have my back even when the clan, the tribe, right?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: If you go back to the you know, hundreds of years ago, we lived in tribes and clans, and if you said or did something that went against that, you will be kicked out and eaten by a big animal because it's just you out there.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: So our bodies are programmed to feel safety when we belong, when we are fitting in with the norms.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, fuck this, I can't fit in.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't believe in this stuff.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I also started talking a lot about the pharmaceutical industry and the food industry, which it is so refreshing now to see people are really waking up to what we are eating and ingredients labels and all of that.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: So that visibility like that COVID era was my rite of passage, I think, to to deepen my connection to my truth and my authenticity and feeling less and less afraid to express who I am and who and what I believe.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I think that is so John Hillstead's program, I don't think it was out at that time, but shortly after that, a couple years after that, was when that he had that challenge, and and now I see how I am so ready for his challenge, and that is why I recently signed up for it, not knowing, you know, but the inner guide in me knew I was ready, so this is like the the cherry on top, and I'm not a really a big so I like social media just sharing little bits about my life and being silly or sharing about my podcast and and my life, but I'm not I tried social media marketing for a long time and it's just not I'm not fighting against an algorithm, I'm not here to go viral.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: I could honestly care less.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be famous at all.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: I want to have a very successful business, but it is going to be more word-of-mouth run, at least as far as I'm concerned, but you won't see me wanting to be in Hollywood or on TV or anything or on the radio at all.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: So kind of how that ties into the rest of this episode is that the bit the inner winds and the outer winds.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: So while I was social media marketing and working on my visibility, that was the time when I started my business, so end of 2019, beginning of 2020, not only am I talking about things that people did not want to hear, people deleted me for, blocked me for, people I had been friends with since elementary school, best friends.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um I uh the I was not signing a lot of clients.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: I who knows if it was related to that, probably, but the external win that I was looking for was making money in my business.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was making some money, you know.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: I made up to up to$2,000 a year signing maybe a little more.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: There were a couple years where I made a little more, but signing some one off sessions, signing a few packages, and but the inner win, the real inner win that will positively affect my life and my business forever was being able to speak my truth and stop people pleasing.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: I was a professional people.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Pleaser.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: I was just so good at it because I wanted to keep the peace.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to manipulate how I showed up in the world.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to manipulate how I was perceived so that people would like me so that I wouldn't make anyone uncomfortable.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: So the inner win was saying, here's who I am, take it or leave it.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm no longer afraid to be visible and speak my truth.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: So while I wasn't signing as many clients as I had hoped at the beginning, the coaching industry kind of tells you that you will sign a shit ton of clients if you take their programs.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um but the inner win was being able to to tap more into my authenticity and just show up as me.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: So some other inner and outer wins.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: One, well, and actually I'm gonna go back to the business one.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I had last year was finishing up my fifth year in business and still just so inconsistent.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm still not at a point where I can leave my serving job, serving at a restaurant, but I had struggled so long and I was like, what the hell is going on?
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I found my mentor, Alessandro, Guide to Light Healing.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: If you've ever heard me talk, you've probably heard me talk about him, and that is where I'm learning to train my intuition to be scientifically precise.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: I am learning a lot of things.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: I took a really amazing financial class, so his intuition has been incredible for like 40 years.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: So his classes are actually, you know, he uses his intuition and channels from source his a lot of his courses.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: He does take information, he's learned high-frequency information, he's learned from other people in the world.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but pairing it with that source intuition, his his classes are just amazing.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: So had I been successful like I wanted, I would have been capped around$80,000 a year.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: But because I was and that would have been fine, I would have been comfortable.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: I probably wouldn't have tried so hard, you know, my higher self wouldn't have led me to him because I would have been satisfied.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: But because I struggled so much, I was not getting those external wins of consistent clients.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: I ended up paying, it was$1,400 for my first one-on-one with him.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: And he, in that one-on-one, he told me that my two top skills, the the reason that my business hasn't opened up to where I want, is because not only because I was supposed to find him, but my two biggest skills are and my biggest potentials, so skills that I have to hone in order to reach these potentials are intuition mastery.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I, with his intuition, he calculated that I, once my intuition is where it's supposed to be, I will be in the top two percent of intuitives in the world.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then energy healing is my second skill, and I will be in the top 3% of energy healers in the world.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: So that's incredible.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: So thank goodness I did not have my external wins that I was seeking so deeply at those times because I would not have found him.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: I would not have started training my intuition.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: I am taking his energy healing course.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm already doing energy healing stuff in his Dark Forces classes and learning how to protect energy and clear energy.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's been life-changing in itself.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I wouldn't have found him.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: And now I am a match to making millions of dollars in my business per year once my skills are honed because I have soul contracts with tons and tons of people to help them in a very specific way.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, I know how to do subconscious rewiring.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm an incredible health coach, I am a great life coach, I'm an awesome coach, I know this.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but I have way more contracts to help people with intuition.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: So that is why my business has not opened up yet like I was hoping.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: So that is the internal win of not getting the external win at that time, is finding my mentor, and my life is just it's going to open up way more than I could have done without him.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_01: Another example will be the relationship area of life, my favorite area.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: So there are four compatibilities that we can have, four areas of compatibility we can have with a romantic partner, also with friends as well and other people in our lives, but I'm going to specifically talk about relationships.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: You have physical compatibility, spiritual compatibility, emotional compatibility, and mental compatibility.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: I kept, and I know this because I've hired there's an intuitive in who's been she's a one of my peers, but she's very far advanced, way more advanced than I am.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: She's taken all of his classes and her intuition is very dialed in, and she actually specializes in relationships.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I went to her when I was ending, I was in the final stages of my last long-term relationship with somebody named Michael, which is funny because my daughter's father's name is also Michael, and she told me that we were a three out of four compatibility.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: When you're four out of four compatibility, I'm pretty sure that's soulmate, and then there's something called a soul complement, which I'm not even going to get into now, but that's four out of four and then some, not other compatibility areas, but there's just a lot more there.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: So he and I were missing the emotional compatibility, and what it looks like when you're missing emotional compatibility is one of the ways it looks like is that you you're one person is thinking, I am doing so much to show them how much I love them, and they don't see how much I love them.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I was on the end of not seeing how much he loved me, even though he felt he was doing above and beyond to show me how much he loved me.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: And consciously, I do see, you know, all of the way I do see many, many ways he loved me, but because we were missing that emotional compatibility, it just I didn't feel it fully, and he that means he didn't feel it fully from me as well.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: So she looked in at our contract and saw that, you know, we had learned everything that we were supposed to learn from each other.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: Now, just because you're not four out of four doesn't mean you can't have an incredible relationship or marriage, but because I knew that we had grown all we were going to grow with each other for the most part, we also were just going very different ways in life.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna get into it, but we we exited the relationship and we're still friends.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: We actually still work together, and it's really cool being friends with him.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: So we still care about each other, and but just we're not in a romantic relationship anymore.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I entered the dating scene for a very brief period and I had um one interest and I talked to this intuitive about this person as well, and we were also missing the emotional compatibility.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: So another way emotional compatibility can incompatibility, emotional incompatibility can show up is in communication.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: So he was very uh not communicative all the time, so I would go a few days without hearing from him, but we were very into each other and I knew this, but it bec I know that I had to be in this situation because of the immense growth that I had, and this was only about a two-month time period, so yeah, it was two months, and I was in the freaking trenches.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: We went on one date, you guys.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: We went to lunch, and that was it, but I was so emotionally mentally myself involved with this person, and I was going through so much pain because I was like, what like this communication thing sucks, we haven't hung out again, and he was moving across the country, so I think he was also scared to enter a relationship that would have to be long distance, and I see now why it wasn't supposed to work out, but I do see why we were supposed to have this little thing that we had, even though it sucked, it hurt so much.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: I was just thinking about it all of the time.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: I had to learn.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: So when you are lacking one of the compatibilities with someone, if you want to make it work, you have to learn how this is key, you guys.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna change your freaking life if you utilize this information.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: You have to learn how to give that to yourself.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: So this intuitive told me that I was going to keep being paired, my higher self was going to keep pairing me with people, with men, where I was lacking this emotional compatibility because I had not yet learned how to give that to myself.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: So about a month later, after my fur my session with her about this guy I was mentally dating, like not really technically, physically, but mentally, she after I after that initial session, I had another one with her about a month later, and I had done so much work to I didn't know the tools.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't no one told me, hey, here's how to give yourself emotionally what you need.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: But because of the inner work I was doing and the growth I was giving myself through this painfully hard experience, I actually started dating somebody else where I had her look in, and we weren't actually dating at this time.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: Me and this actually, my current boyfriend Cameron, we weren't dating, but I was starting to get interested in him.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: We had hung out a few times, and she said, Crystal, what did you take?
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: Did you take a drug?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because the amount of growth you have had since I last saw you is insane.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: She said, You and Cameron have the emotional compatibility, and I was like, I thought I wasn't going to be emotionally matched with someone for a while because of all of the lessons I still needed to learn, all of the emotional whatever I had to give myself that I was able to do that in that one month's time of the pain and growth I was experiencing with that other guy I mentally dated for two months.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_01: So that really taught me that really reinforced the idea of external wins and internal wins.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: I did not get what I wanted from that situation.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: My human self, we've higher self and human self, they are a bit different.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: My human self wanted so badly to date this guy.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: I would have done long distance.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_01: I was like thinking about ways that we could make it work in my head.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: Probably sounded like a freaking crazy chick, to be honest, but that's okay, right?
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here to be vulnerable and honest with you guys because if I'm not, how am I gonna help you?
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I did not get the external win of entering a relationship with him, but I got the huge inner win of learning how to be there for myself on an emotional level, ex outside of getting that from a man, which since I started dating when I was 15 years old, kind of late, late bloomer, but whatever.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um I relied my happiness was always tied to my happiness, my sense of safety, just my day-to-day feelings and frequency were always tied to how the relationship was going, how I was being treated by my boyfriend, like all of that.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, if you've dated for a while, you probably know, you know, you've probably been there too to some degree, right?
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: When it's kind of like health.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: When we don't have health, all other areas of life just feel a lot shittier.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: And when we are not experiencing what we want to be experiencing in our life, in our relationship, I mean, other areas of life are gonna feel a bit shittier.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: So by learning to give myself the emotional support that I needed from myself and learning to be okay in my day-to-day, even when the dating area of my life, the male figure area of my life was not going well, I was able to unlock this relationship that I'm in now.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: We just hit five months yesterday.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Small milestones, but it's been an incredible time.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm able to have that compatibility with someone.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: And Cameron and I are lacking the spiritual compatibility, and what that is, it's about your potentials.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: So that means that my spiritual potentials are much, I don't know if it's much higher, but they are at an incompatible level to his spiritual potentials.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: I am teaching him a lot of things about like reflections and spiritual stuff, and he is into it.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: He's just, I'm highly spiritual.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: My whole business is going to be spiritual, my whole life is spiritual.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: So my spiritual potentials, obviously, if I'm if I have potentials to be one of in the top two percent of intuitives in the entire world, that's high spiritual potentials.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: So we're just not compatible in that area.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: But how I give myself that spiritual compatibility, which makes me feel whole in the relationship, I do not feel like I am lacking anything with him because I do not need to get my spiritual, you know, parts of life from him.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: I get those from the classes I'm taking and my peers in my school.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: We I am constantly talking about spirituality in those, in that place.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I am fulfilled and beyond spiritually, and also I give myself what I need spiritually when I when I'm doing my inner work, when I'm practicing intuition, when I'm taking my classes, like even when I'm not talking to my peers about them.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I that is a huge internal win is learning how to emotionally support myself.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I am so grateful that I had that really painful situation with that guy because I got way more than I bargained for.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: I I I got way more than I think I even would have in the relationship had we just gotten together and been in a relationship.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: I probably wouldn't have learned that as quickly as I did.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: So if there are areas of your life where you are looking for an external win, see what the internal wins that you have gotten are.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_01: See how you have grown, see what the inner results you have gotten, and see how those are actually way more beneficial than the external, and see how those are actually going to create the external.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: And what that reminds me of is the paradigm, the the idea that it's about the journey.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily about the destination.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember who this quote was from.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: I actually heard it today, and I'm gonna butcher the quote, but the idea was that you know, when you get to the summit, there's nothing there.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's all about getting up there and the preparation to even do the climb and the hydration on the way and fueling yourself on the way and the mental game you have to be in on the way up to that summit.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then it's about, you know, climbing down the summit.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I don't want to reach the summit of my business and climb down, but there's nothing at the summit.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many business owners and CEOs highly, highly successful, who are bored, who are unsatisfied, who are not like their life does not feel like they thought it would feel when they hit millions, billions of dollars when they're the head honcho, the top of their game where they've worked so hard to get at.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: But they have done so much inner growth and work to get there that is about the person they have become on the way.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: So you might not be where you want to be in business, or you might not be dating the person of your dreams, but see how your journey is actually the most precious prize that you could ever win.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's it.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's your channeled riff of a podcast episode.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you enjoyed it.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I love connecting with you all.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: So if you want to reach out, my email is crystal at crystalwar.com.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's K R Y S T A L.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: Or you can find me on Instagram if you want peeks into more of my day to day life, Crystal underscore baller.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I will talk to you next time.