Latest / Momtalk Maryland / Behind the Pose: How One Family's Loss Created a Movement

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Behind the Pose: How One Family's Loss Created a Movement · Momtalk Maryland

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey friends and welcome to MomTalk, maryland.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, claire Duarte, founder of the Columbia Mom, and this is your spot for real conversations, local love and a whole lot of community.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Whether you're folding laundry, running errands or hiding in your car for some peace and quiet, let's dive in Well.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited to finally have you here.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This has been a long time in the making really.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: You're pretty much one of the first people that I knew I wanted to get on the podcast as soon as we launched and um, here we are at the end of the summer, making that happen because obviously we were both all over the place.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a great summer, though.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, and I'm so excited to be here.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: Like I said, this is my first podcast yeah, yeah, this is really exciting for me and I'm really I'm happy that it's yours.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: oh oh, my first we're so I mean I'm thrilled to have you here and so well I'll give my little Julie and I love sharing our, our origin story and I was gonna say obviously I love an origin story and that's what we're going to have you talk about in a second.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: But our origin story I we constantly laugh about and obviously I've shared it's kind of like I've already shared it um, essentially, where I've talked about how I started the Columbia Mom, I went to, uh, the Howard County or the Young Professionals Summit back in 2022, yeah and um, and that's where I saw Ali Von Peres speak and I was really excited.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: I joined the chamber that day.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Everyone, like that's all part of my story.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Right, here's the part that you didn't know.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: So afterwards we're at the, at the networking event After the actual summit.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: We're all hanging out and like, literally, I rolled up by myself, didn't know anybody other than, but I walked in with Mary Beth Doolin and so she's walking around introducing me to people.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Great person to walk in with.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, exactly Like I could not have picked a better person to walk in with.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and like she was introducing me to Kevin and Eric and, um, all these people, and I remember she was like you gotta meet, you gotta meet Julia, you gotta meet Julia Zaching.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I remember what soon as it's Zach Zaching.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I was like I know Zaching, I absolutely know Zaching, but I didn't know any of the people, yeah, in it.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: And also at the time, even though, like, born and raised from Maryland, I had no concept of like where the family was from where you know what I mean I had no idea.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: You guys were like right here in Howard County anyways.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: So people were like so we're just buzzing, we're all hanging out, like you know, having a few drinks.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: It's happy, our time, and, um, everyone.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I kept saying like, oh, you gotta meet Julia, gotta meet Julia.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: So finally, like towards the end, um, julia appears and like in our little like circle and I swear to god, like we like shook hands and she was like hi, and I'm pretty sure, like the like she parted the seas and like walked out and I was like, oh, that was interesting like.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: That's not what I was expecting.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: No, but I'll let you tell the rest of it, because it's so funny yeah, no.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: So Claire comes up and little did she know I was six weeks pregnant and I was very nauseous.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Nobody in there knew, besides Kevin yes, kevin knew yeah and I was on the verge of puking and I was like oh my god.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: I met Claire.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: I walked away and I found my nearest trash can yeah, but I was like oh my god, that poor girl like she probably got such the wrong idea and thank god I was able to make it up to her later.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: Yes, one of my good friends, but I know that was not one of my proudest networking.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: No, but it was like hysterical.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, what's funny is that I literally didn't see you, like probably for like another year.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I mean hashtag, like you were pregnant and sick and then you had Mason.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: But then fast forward to 2023 summit and I remember I was like, oh my God, I need to like re-meet this girl because now that I had been doing a little bit more and I had been doing a little bit more with nonprofits too I was like we need to re-meet.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: And so like we and it's funny we literally rehashed that same story and we got coffee at Starbucks.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was our first like real sit down.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I just like, like so that's our origin story, which I still die, oh, I love that story I know, um, but yeah, so please.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I mean I have gotten to know you, your parents, your family.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I know the story kind of front runs it backwards now, but, um, julia letterer of Zach against cancer, please tell us all about.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Well, first all about you and then we'll kind of take our little deep dives, and obviously about Zaching.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I grew up in Howard County, born and raised, went to Manor Woods, centennial and then or Burley Manor and then Centennial.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: And then I went to Mount St Mary's which is still in Maryland, so not far at all for college and yeah've lived here ever since I'm married now with a child, with my little boy mason when I was pregnant with when we met yeah, um, but yeah no.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I love howard county.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I love being a resident here.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: I think it's a great place and claire and I have really gotten to know each other through the howard county chamber board.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: We knew each other well before then, but then yeah we, I kind of talked her into joining the board.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: It was partially, kevin, and then, when I realized you were on it, I was like oh, yeah, and.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I think we had.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: We grabbed you at a networking mixer.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: Literally and.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I was like, hey, you're on the board, that's also another story.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's also part of the story which was not.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: That's not usually how our process works but we knew we really wanted Claire.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: No, yeah.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, I don't know, what else do you want to?
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Well, that's just like a little quick summary.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Where you are now right, yeah, so well.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: So tell us.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Well, first tell us.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: What does Zacking Against Cancer do?
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so Zacking Against Cancer is a 501c3 nonprofit.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: We help all cancers in all ages, which is really what sets us apart from a lot of nonprofits.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: They're all doing great work, don't get me wrong.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but there aren't many that will help all cancers and all ages.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: It's either pediatric or breast cancer, right, or like we could have specialized in just brain cancer, yeah, or like we could have specialized in just brain cancer but yeah that's just not.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: It's like that's one thing that we're really proud of and it's a big thing of what sacking against cancer is exactly.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Um, we've been around for, oh my god, like 14 years.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Now I want to say crazy.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was 2014, so 11 years.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, 11 years.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it's been an amazing thing to watch grow and just to see it go from something that my brother started to what it is now has just been unbelievable.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: That's so cool.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: So we are partnered with 26 hospitals all throughout.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: 24 of them are in Maryland, one is in Boston and one is in florida, and reason being for that is because they gave us grant money.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that money goes towards their hospitals yeah but otherwise we're mainly in maryland, and when I say partnering hospital, I mean that that is where our that's like, where our it's that's a tricky one, that's where our like programs are yeah, yeah however, if somebody were to call us that was not a part of the hospital, we would 100 help them, right, and that's all throughout the us too.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: So if somebody called us from kentucky and they needed help, we would help them, right.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Right, but the benefit of being a partner hospital is you have an allocated amount of money that you get per quarter, right.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: And then you have our programs, yeah, such as, like, the music and the massage therapy, right, and the Zach packs, zach snacks, all of that stuff, yeah, absolutely, which is big, which is great.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: Oh for sure, no doubt so.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: So why don't we go back then?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: So, um, I've obviously, you know, tended the galas and the um running festivals and many Zaching events now, um, but tell us, for those that um may not know, zach stories, tell us a little bit about kind of like how that happened, um, and it was kind of a kind of a beautiful, like a little ode about kind of like how that happened, um, and it was kind of a kind of a beautiful, like a little ode to him.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Today we get to reflect on him.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: So zach was first diagnosed with cancer at the age of seven, or no, I was seven, he was 10, uh-huh.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: And today my my parents took him to the hospital.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: He was having really bad headaches.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: He was throwing up.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: They took him to the hospital.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: They didn't know what was going on.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: He was quickly diagnosed with brain cancer and the doctors and nurses told my parents to take him home and make him comfortable, that there was just nothing that they could do.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: They were so far into the brain that they didn't.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: There was just nothing that they could do.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: So ben carson ended up calling and he asked my parents hey, hey, can I operate?
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: There's no guarantee?
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would love to try.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: And of course, they turned that car around and went straight back.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Obviously, who wouldn't yeah?
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Was he at the hospital where he were, at Hopkins, at Hopkins?
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah so that's where your parents took him in to get seen the first time.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so they went back.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Ben Carson operated.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: It was a very long operation.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: He wasn't able to get all of it out, but he was able to remove a good portion where they were able to do chemo and radiation Wow.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: So he had to learn how to walk again, how to talk again.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: It completely altered him, oh no doubt yeah.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Especially in the brain, like that.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: There's just so much.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: And at that age, yeah, and at that age, yeah, so he had to learn how to eat, how to do everything all over again, and he was so resilient and he did it and came out powerful and better than ever I'd say yeah.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: He was declared cancer free, which was huge for us.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: How?
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: long did that from?
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I guess from surgery to I would say he was in middle school.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I was so young that I don't I know, yeah, I don't remember like the exact lengths of everything, oh for sure.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: But I want to say it was in middle school, because I remember going with him and ringing the chemo bell and how like powerful and how cool that was.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God For sure.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: So he went on and he's big sports guy, yeah.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Love sports, everything about it.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: He would quiz my mom on ESPN in the morning.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Like big sports guy yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: So he was the manager for the Centennial football team, because he couldn't play for a while because you have that shunt in the back of your head and football team because he couldn't play for a while because he had that shunt in the back of your head yep, yep, and it's just so fragile.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, yeah, um, but his senior year he was determined to get out there, like really determined, and my parents got him one of the nfl like helmets, yeah, just anything like keep him safe, yeah yeah, no doubt, and he got out there and he played football and that was such a cool thing for all of us to see.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: I'm sure my parents weren't nervous as hell, but right.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I was like I'm surprised they even let him, but they knew that.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean after all that, like after seeing him, just you know, go through everything, if that's what he wanted to do, then they were gonna let him do it and they were gonna make sure he had the best protection to do it exactly.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Um, so he went on to university of Maryland, where, again, big sports guy.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: He was the manager for the basketball team Loved it.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: He was a sophomore and he was sitting in class one day and his left hand went numb and as a cancer survivor, you can't take anything like that and just brush it off.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: So he called my mom.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: They took him to the hospital and unfortunately the cancer was back and it wasn't the same one that Ben Carson had operated on.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: It was in a different spot.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: So it was unfortunately just a new type of cancer Still brain cancer.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Right, but just yeah.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't New growth new spot yes yeah.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: So he was sitting in bed one day after a long operation and he made this pose and he said dad, take my picture.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: And my dad was like zach, like you got blood on your face, you got tubes everywhere.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Like let's take your picture later.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: And he was like, no, take my picture, I want to post it and make sure my friends and family know that I'm okay and I'm gonna I'm gonna beat this.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: I don't want them to be worried about me.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: So that's what he did.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: He took the picture, he posted it and then my cousins, john and Joey, they got a hold of it and they took a picture of them flexing and they were like t-bowing is out and zacking is in, because this is back when.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Like t-bowing, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah and um, it went viral.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean totally viral.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: There were people from everywhere taking Zaching pictures Celebrities, big athletes, other cancer patients which were the ones that were most important to Zach, Like he loved those.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, and a t-shirt company Nightmare Graphics reached out to us and Zach, really, and said I'd love to make a logo, sell t-shirts and then you can do whatever you want with this money yeah.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Go see a big sports game, like go do whatever you want with that, right, right.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: So zach took it and he started zach against cancer.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: And the reason being is he was in the hospital and he would see he was on the pediatric floor.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was 18, but yeah, on the pediatric floor and, um, he noticed that not everybody had that same support system that he had.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they didn't have their parents.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: One of my parents was with him 24 right, they would switch out and come get me, or like I would go there or they would both be there.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: While I was at school, he constantly had one of them with them when the girl sitting next to him wouldn't have her parents had to work yeah and she would be in the room by herself.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: And then another big, big moment was Zach was leaving chemo and he went back in his nice warm car to go to his nice warm house.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: When the girl that was sitting next to him also received chemo, he saw her at the bus stop in the rain.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, he was wise beyond his years and that was something that really stood out to him and he wanted every cancer patient to feel what he felt that same strength, courage, determination and hope that he had, and he wanted to make sure that that happened.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: So, he started Zachie Against Cancer.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: He took that t-shirt money.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: He got his board of directors, which is where Felicia Fleming came from.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: And she's also, you know, great family friend, right, right, and he started with the golf outing, of course, because, like I said, sports and he wanted the golf outing.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: He passed away in March and our golf outing was in June, wow.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: So, but you know, he had his committee, he said what he wanted, he was very vocal about it and he part of the reason that we help all cancers of all ages, because that's what Zach wanted.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he didn't want it to be like oh, I'm sorry, we can't help you, yeah, yeah.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: No, I love that, that's amazing Long story, but that's Right.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: No, I mean it's, I feel, like those of us that are in Howard County again.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: You might Maybe you've heard of Zach, but maybe you didn't realize that you guys are right here, yeah.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: That here, that's just like essentially one of our hometown stories you know what I mean our hometown heroes really now um, in talking about today and having you on here today, I wanted to know like, uh, you, you and your family, like, in all the beautiful, wonderful things you've done, you guys still have been through hell and back.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Like it's incredible to have this foundation doesn't come without um.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Obviously the loss of Zach, and I can't imagine what it'd been like to be seven years old, and here I mean obviously as, not only as a parent I can't even, you know, fathom, you know your parents position but to be a sibling and a younger sibling.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: You know what was that?
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Experience like for you it was a confusing time for me, for sure, just because, like as parents, and now as a parent myself, I'm like I don't understand, like how you even tell a seven-year-old, hey right, your brother has cancer, we don't know if he's gonna live right, and like we're gonna have to be at the hospital all the time.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: And I spent so much time at the fleming's house, I spent so much time with my grandparents like hopping around and look, I was seven, so like I didn't mind, I had fun with it.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: And I was going to school and still had my normal life.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: But I didn't fully understand and I don't want to say my parents shielded me from it, but they definitely made it a way where I knew what was going on, but it wasn't so scary Like I think they went about it a really good way, cause I just didn't like even at school.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: I was in elementary school and my teachers would like give me like, hey, how's everything going at home?
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Like they made us like big gifts.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: I remember they gave me so many tickets to splash down and I was like kind of confused, right, because I was like this is so nice, thank you.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: But I didn't really understand the severity of it and now, looking back, I'm like, wow, that was so nice.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they were trying to do the best that they could.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite stories is I went to go visit Zach at the hospital with my dad and my mom was there and she was spending the night with Zach that night.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: So my dad and I were going to go home and I was like seven years old, in elementary school and it's probably like eight o'clock, which to me felt like 10 o'clock.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, for sure.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and my dad's like so do you remember ESPN Zone?
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we were at Hopkins.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: My dad's like, julia, like come on, I'm going to take you to ESPN Zone, we're going soda, we're gonna have like chicken tenders and we're gonna play all the games.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that was like one of like my favorite things.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: It was like the two of us just had so much fun.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: It was great for me.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I think it was great for my dad, oh for sure, and just like, like my parents were very good at like prioritizing me yeah, and like still priority, like obviously yeah, exactly like making me feel like it wasn't like a second thought yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, that's so sweet
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: yeah um, I mean you've told.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I mean I feel like I've heard so many cute stories of you guys.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Wait, did you mention that you grew up like with farm animals, like tell me?
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm trying to most well funny because there's there is so much farmland here in harry kenny so I'm like, no doubt, but I'm like he also went to centennial so I was like, no, it's funny because we didn't have like a farmland yard, that's what I'm trying to picture.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I was like where were all these animals?
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: yeah, so we had like two acres but our house backed up to um Route 40 okay, so like it wasn't like an open land, like I don't know like how this happened.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: But yeah, we had a chicken coop and a bunch of chickens yeah, we had a sheep that I think that's the one I told you about that played soccer with us.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: That is hysterical and my brother wanted to name him bucky and I wanted to name him george.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: So my dad was like you know what?
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Let's just name him bucky, george.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: That was our sheep.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: He would run around the yard with zach and I and like play soccer, oh my god.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: And then we had a goat that's hysterical.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm guessing there was a fence oh yeah, yeah, they were all.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: There was a fence yeah, other than when they came out to play, but oh my god, that is wild.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: It was fun.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know, we had roosters.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: I don't know what enticed my parents to ever do that, but it was fun did they have the like all the animals before Zach's diagnosis?
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that makes more sense.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: I was like no, we were like young kids playing soccer with bucky george yeah, okay, because I was like, you were like oh, you know what's a few more things to add some more chaos that's right, I know, yeah, no, we didn't have any of them anymore, other than chickens.
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I think we still had those that's so funny.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Um, well, reflecting back on when you were young too, especially now that you are a mom like um, what do you wish you could tell your younger self about that season of life that you were in?
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: hmm, I think I'm gonna reflect more on like in college when he did pass away because, like I said, seven was pretty young, like I didn't really almost like twilighty.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like it's still like all of that is still fuzzy for me for sure, yeah um.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: But I would say, back in college, like after he had passed, I kept waiting for it to get easier yeah and I wish I could tell myself, like look, it doesn't get easier, but you get better at remembering, like all of the good times, yeah.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Like it's never going to get easier.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: No, and like, don't wait for that to happen because, like your mind will shift and it will be like oh, I remember when Zach and I did this and we had so much fun doing this and we had this family trip, as opposed to like all the hospital visits, right, and watching him go through that Right.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: So like I feel like just remembering that your mind will shift and you'll get those happy memories back, and that it doesn't get easier and it's not, I don't think it's supposed to, but it does like those memories do come back, right, and the bad ones get pushed back.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Which is really nice, right, and it's probably such the wildest process of grief because I feel like you know again I can't speak to what it's like to have lost a close family member like that, let alone a sibling.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: But I think that grief kind of works in that way to kind of protect us from ourselves a little bit you know and, like I said, it does it takes time, you know, takes time.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: You know, um, but um in and kind of in that way, um.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: What did you learn from watching?
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: Zach, face cancer with such strength.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I learned so much.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I think that you can be resilient and just not to be scared yeah, I mean that, like I never looked at Zach and thought, wow, like he looks really scared.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: And that you would go into the zach and thought, wow, like he looks really scared.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: And you would go into the hospital and visit him and be like julia, how are you like?
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: How are you doing today?
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: How was school, how's this going?
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it's just like it's given me such like he has taught me to have such more of a positive outlook on life and just don't like, don't sweat the small things like I'll like even to this day, like I'll the starbucks line's too long, like I'll feel myself getting like, yeah, yeah, and it's just like that, like it just puts in perspective.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: It's like julia, like who cares, like just live life, live it in the moment and don't stress so much and don't be like so afraid.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Whatever happens is gonna happen, yeah, and if you can face it with strength and dignity, or you can face it and be upset and wonder why me.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: And he never did that, yeah, so I think it's more so.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: Just he really shifted my whole look on life and big problems that really aren't so big at the end of the day.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: Do you ever?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's what I was going to next ask too Do you feel like you and your parents ever?
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like it's to me, I would think it's like almost like a natural part of grief to ever kind of like you know, had that like why me, why us?
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Um kind of feelings.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't think that Zach ever let us feel like that, like I think that his outlook and him's like saying saying like he would go in interviews and say why not me, like I can do this, like why not me?
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: He was like he always said I feel bad for the young kids in the rooms next to me that are battling cancer yeah, so why not me be out here and do it?
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: if they can do it, I can do it.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: So I think, like his positive attitude rubbed off on the three of us yeah, so well, and I mean he probably carried us through this I would say yeah, I mean such a positive outlook on everything.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: So no, I mean I didn't think that and I can't speak for my parents, but I don't think that they did either.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: And I think that's because Zach made it like that.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like he made us feel that way.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: And that's like such, like a beautiful, powerful thing.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I think, like again, us being like moms, I feel like we can relate to him Like God, freaking Blasco, it's like it's not your job to make us Like yeah, that's what I think you know what I mean like I'm like, I'm here to take care of you yeah, but he was.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, he was the opposite yeah, yeah I mean, he was just unbelievable through that entire process.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I know, and just you know, great head on his shoulders and wise beyond his years, literally.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's just where.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: What did they say?
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Like too good for this world, kind of?
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: thing, yeah, honestly, yeah like it just um.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, those that are too good for this world never stay on the earth as long as we want them to because they just you know I've never heard that before, but I like that.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to remember where I but I I've definitely heard it somewhere and I just I think that's so true about him.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean and you so it's because just everything about him just feels so golden, yeah.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's, I mean, and like there's nothing bad I could say about Zach ever.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, it's just, and he just didn't give you any reason to.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: No, no, seriously.
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: What moments stand out to you that really capture who he was and how he lived?
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: I would say again, like going into the hospital room and him looking at you with a smile on his face and being like, oh my God, how are you, how are you?
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: today.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: There's a story I told at the gala when I gave a speech there, and this sums up Zach pretty well too.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I was in high school and I went to go stay with him for the first time while my parents were both like at home, getting showered, getting cleaned up, whatever and Zach and I were in there for the day and I was nervous going in there because it's like okay, what are we going to talk about for so long?
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: like what if he like something goes wrong and what if he pukes?
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I like don't do well yeah, we've talked about that at all.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: So Zach and I are sitting in the room.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: I think we were like watching a show, we were talking and I was like Zach, like if you have to throw up, can you just like let me know, because chemo makes you do that?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, naturally it's like very common yeah.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: And he's like okay, and you know he kind of Zach looks at me and he goes run.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: So I ran out the room and he did puke, but I like ran out, oh, and he's like, comes after me and he's like, are you okay?
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, I'm like nurse, but that's.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: And then he was like laughing about it, but that's just how he was like.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: He was so focused on making sure everybody else was comfortable and happy and he wanted you to like be there and have a good time with him.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and not just like sit there and twiddle your thumbs.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was just good at that.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: Like that was such a silly moment.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: And then, like after it was over, we were both sitting in there like cracking up.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: And just like his way of being, like run.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Right, I no, that's so funny.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do you what's like a favorite like family memory you have of like the four of you guys?
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Oh man, I want to say winters were always really fun.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: My parents with all the chickens, or anything they also had a golf cart.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: And you would ride the golf cart like throughout the yard and my dad would like string sleds to it.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's fun and he would take us on like never-ending sleigh rides.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: Then we'd come inside.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: My mom would have hot chocolate made for us.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: We'd all like watch a movie.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, that was always really fun, and then we always watched american idol together oh my god, I remember.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the big night, like we'd have dinner and then we'd all sit on the couch yeah, american idol like I think at home, like just our memories at home were so nice and my parents you know they really like did a great job with us.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know they're amazing yeah, I think those were probably my favorite.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I never thought.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: You know, I've never really thought about isn't that fun.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of fun to like.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's fun for me to get like I'm like peeking in.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I know I've heard a lot of this, but, like you know, kind of just to reflect back and again, like you know, in our way, I know zachie day is like in may, but it's like, you know, our little ode to him today um so sweet how I mean I've seen you know there's so many milestone and events that zachie puts on throughout the year.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: But like within your family, like now, especially now that you have mason too, how do you guys, you know, honor zach like just personally?
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, obviously there's the ways that we do it with the foundation, right, but like um, I mean I know that I, I love when I see little pictures of, like you talking about uncle zach with mason yeah like how is what's that like as a parent with him?
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: with mason.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been really cool.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: So we have a basement that we go down to and Mason's, all of his toys and stuff are down there, and there's a news article that we have framed, yeah, and it's on the wall going down the steps, and every time we go down the steps, mason, I've like taught him for a while right now he does it on his own and we pass it.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: It's one of his football ones, yeah, and he'll go hi, uncle Zach, and he talks to him and and I'll be like, oh, what's Uncle Zach doing?
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: He's playing football.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: And he's like Uncle Zach, I'm going downstairs, I'm going to play, and then whenever we come back upstairs he'll say bye, uncle Zach.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: And then he has a Zach-ing quilt that a very special lady made for us at the gala and that lays on his floor.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: He does not want it off of his floor.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: And it's actually funny.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: The other night, chad and I were watching his monitor.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: We just put him down for bed, yeah, and mason was standing up looking down at the quilt.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: He's like uncle zach, what you doing, it's like the cutest thing.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: So we oh my god, I mean I specifically, and chad tries to, but like it's my brother, like you know right right, right right I'll like explain to him.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Like on zacking day I was like you know, your uncle was a superhero and he helped a lot of people and he was always very kind, it's like I'm trying to like make mason understand that, like uncle zach, was this very like kind nurturing we're obviously not talking about the cancer part.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Yet yeah, yeah, yeah like introducing him as, almost like this superhero that helped others and was super nice.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: And, mason, you could be like that too, yeah and just trying to introduce him that way before.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: Later on we tell him like the harder stuff right exactly I mean for the record, mason's too.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so, yeah, so like there's only so much like you can even comprehend.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Exactly, but that's so sweet to see those like little moments and I've seen, like when you guys are, you know, you take your little like vacations and kind of like those little like moments together and I think that's like that book, um oh, I'm trying to remember the name of the book, um, but it was about um like a little boy.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: That like is speaking to god and the little boy is like, or no, he, I think the little boy, has like a near-death experience and then and lives um and then um talks about how and the little boy talks about how he saw and met um met god, but then met family members that he had never had contact with whatsoever and the family member and the family had never discussed.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: And the book outlines it's like it's a, it's a true story, oh, wow, and it kind of.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: I mean, actually I'll give you the book yeah, if you want to take a look at it's really it's really cute.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: It's really sweet and not saying that it is that but it's just kind of like beautiful montage to just I don't know, regardless of what you believe in this life, in this universe and things like that, it's just like we're all connected and to those who have come before us and left us, I think that's a beautiful kind of way that you're weaving it with Mason.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and fun fact, mason's middle name is Zachary.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, I love that.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, I felt like you have to.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we couldn't not.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: No, I know, that was the easiest decision, exactly Well, um, as we wrap up here, um, tell us a little bit.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know the golf outing was actually that was a while ago.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: That was like back in the summertime june, june yeah, and like my brain feels like it yesterday, but it was like months ago now which is crazy.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Trust me, mind us, yeah, yeah um, well, it's funny because you got the.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I feel like the first half of the year you guys are like slammed because it goes like april, may, june, of like awesome, like your major events, but the running festival is coming up, yes, so let's talk about that.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so november 22nd is our sacking against cancer running festival.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: It's on turf valley.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: It's a very fun event.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: We have a 10k, a 5k and a one mile walk, yep, and then we have a huge after party.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: After after party is there's awesome yes, yeah, you've been yeah, there's a band, we have oysters, we have pizzas, we have a beer garden.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Everybody stays and dances.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: Some people buy tickets just for the after party, which?
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: is totally okay too.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, or they come and do the walk and then go straight there.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: But we've really done a great job with that event and I'd say Felicia, specifically, has really done a great job with it and just making it such a fun environment and one where, like I've been to races before where, yeah, you run, you get your bagel, you get your water, you get your beer ticket and then you hit the road right right, but this is one where people genuinely want to stay and then we usually have like an after after party like last year we went to Oscars, so I love that.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: It's just a party that keeps on going yes, and the runners have a good time.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Our committee does a fabulous job working on it and, yeah, I would love to have anybody out there I know come and support you well and so, like you said, it's the 22nd.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: There's a couple different um race options for you.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Yes, um, and I'm sure there's sponsorship availability um if you're ever, if you're in a business that's looking to get involved um obviously, you know, still take donations too of Um, but we'll link all the information here for you to check out for, obviously, for tickets for the races, for participants, um and um any other businesses that might be looking to um get involved and donate, yeah.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you said, great sponsorship opportunities yeah, would love that.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Thank you Awesome.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Well, thanks so much for having, or for having for being here today, sharing us with us more of your story.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: It's always awesome to kind of like deep dive talk about sack and yeah, um, oh sorry, this is totally I'm.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: I meant to say this earlier, but you mentioned ben carson and obviously your parents will share the story.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: Um, my brother actually met ben carson years ago because he did what was doing a book report and he loved like, literally, was like enamored by him, just thought he was like the coolest.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: This was like years ago when he was kind of getting popular with some of his surgeries and things like that yeah, and my parents.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: I have to find it like a picture of my parents and my brother with Ben Carson oh, that's so cool.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to see.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I know small little.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: That's awesome Like a small little world yeah.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: He was such a nice guy and you know he was obviously just great yeah.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much For being here today.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: We're looking forward to the next couple of zacking events and we'll be sure to share them with you.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Thank you so much.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: Claire, thanks.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Episode of MomTalk Maryland.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: If you loved it, leave a review, share it with a friend or tag me at thecolumbiamom on Instagram.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I'd love to hear what you think and don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Until next time, keep showing up, keep supporting local and keep being the incredible mom, woman, human that you are.