Don't Obey In Advance
You’ve seen it a thousand times.
Someone spends years saying the most vicious things imaginable. Calling people groomers. Threatening civil war. Celebrating cruelty. And the moment you push back, even once, they collapse into victimhood. Suddenly you’re the problem. Suddenly you’re uncivil. Suddenly you’re the one who needs to calm down.
This isn’t random. It isn’t hypocrisy in the casual sense. There is a specific psychological mechanism at work, and researchers have been studying it for decades.
Psychologists Piercarlo Valdesolo and David DeSteno at Northeastern University ran a series of…
The skinny
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