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Replay: Grief--When Love, Life and Lost · Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast

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Welcome back to Just Be True, a soul -led podcast.
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This podcast was born from the deep desire to
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live authentically, to strip away the mask, the
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expectations, the old stories, and remember who
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you truly are. Each episode, we explore what
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it means to live in harmony with your soul's
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truth through real conversations, intuitive guidance,
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and powerful moments of reflection. I am Summer,
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and I am thrilled that you are here with me today.
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So today, we're going to talk about something
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that touches every single one of us, yet we rarely
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slow down enough to truly honor it. And that's
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grief. Grief when love, life, and identity change.
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So not just a grief of losing someone that we
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love But the grief of losing a version of our
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life a season an identity a dream a role we once
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held Grief isn't only about death. It's about
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change and sometimes It's about becoming someone
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new So grief after losing someone There is a
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sacredness in grieving someone that you loved.
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When someone passes, whether suddenly or after
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a long goodbye, something shifts in the architecture
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of our world. Their voice no longer fills the
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room. Their laughter isn't heard on the other
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end of the phone. The holidays feel different,
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sometimes very empty. Ordinary days can feel
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like it's missing something. And what I've come
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to understand both personally and from holding
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space for others is that grief is love with nowhere
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to land. Love that is hitting a void that can't
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truly be explained other than the feeling of
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it. So this doesn't mean that you're broken.
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What it means, it means that you love deeply.
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and honor this about you and be grateful that
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you had the ability to love and to love so deeply.
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You know, grief moves in waves. Some days are
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very manageable, but you're going to have other
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days where a song, a smell, a memory that's going
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to change you. They're gonna pull you under and
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you may feel like you're drowning But there is
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no timeline for grief There is no I should be
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over this by now. There's no why am I sad it's
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already been a year Grief does not ask to be
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fixed it has to be felt and Sometimes the most
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healing thing that you can do is to sit with
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it not analyze it, not rush it, not distract
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yourself from it, and not spiritually bypass
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it, but to sit with it. Allow the emotions to
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arise. Allow the tears to fall. Allow the tightness
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in your chest to happen. Allow the anger, the
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confusion, and the ache. This part is extremely
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important because grief is energy and emotion
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is energy in motion. So when you allow yourself
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to feel, I mean truly, truly feel, you allow
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that energy to move through you. It comes in
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waves, swells, it peaks and then it passes. And
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when we try to bury it, when we try to ignore
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it, when we try to push it aside, when we say,
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I don't have time for this, or you think that
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you need to be strong and hold yourself together,
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or you may feel that you shouldn't feel a certain
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way, you're interrupting the natural movement
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of that grief, of that emotion that needs to
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move through you. Because what happens is if
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when you interrupt that and you don't allow it
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to move through you it gets stored It settles
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in your body. It lingers in your nervous system.
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It shows up as heaviness irritability anxiety
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numbness That is when grief becomes stuck and
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when grief is suppressed long enough It doesn't
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disappear. It falls harder later. So sometimes
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through burnout, sometimes through illness or
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addictions, sometimes through emotional overwhelm
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that feels disappropriate in the moment. But
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it's not disappropriate. It'll be at that point
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you'll be trying to acclimate it. and you'll
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try to normalize it. But you have to allow yourself
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to feel. And when you allow yourself to feel,
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you are honoring the sacred intelligence of your
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body and your heart. When you let grief move,
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even if it's messy, you are telling your system
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it is safe to release. And release creates space.
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Space to breathe. Space for peace. And space
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for new life to enter. So feeling it fully is
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how you move through it. It's not meant to be
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easy. It's meant to be powerful. It's meant to
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be life changing and healing. I mean, I've certainly
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lost loved ones throughout my lifetime, and what
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surprises me the most about my grief was not
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that the pain of their absence, but the clarity
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of their impact. In the quiet, after they're
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gone, I began to see how deeply they shaped me.
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The things that they taught me, the ways that
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they loved me, the subtle ways they influence
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who I became. It was almost if that grief illuminated
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the imprint that they left behind. At first,
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the loss felt very overwhelming, heavy and consuming,
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and there were moments where I felt like I couldn't
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breathe, or that life would never be the same
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again. And life's not going to be the same again.
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because we've lost and through that loss we've
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changed and we've became something new but what
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I also notice and this took time was that once
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the sharp edges of the grief softened something
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else emerged and it was their presence not in
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a dramatic way, not in a way that replaced the
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physical absence, but in a quiet, steady way,
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a sense of connection, a warmth, a knowing. It
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was as if once the storm of emotions moved through
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me, I could feel them differently, not gone,
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but integrated. not outside of me, but woven
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within me. And that shift, that being able to
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acknowledge their presence, that only happens
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because I allow myself to feel the grief fully.
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And when the waves settle, what remained was
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the love that I still had for them. And that
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love never disappears. And in fact, That love
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that you have for them can continue to grow stronger
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even though they're on the other side. It doesn't
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end. It just transforms and it changes. So I
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empower you. If you're going, if you're grieving
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for the loss of someone, I empower you. To take
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all the time that you need to fully allow that
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grief to move through you and to let go So that
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you can experience life after and experience
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the change that it creates and the wonder and
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the power within yourself that comes alive So
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the next thing that we're going to talk about
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is grief for life transitions It's a whole other
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type of grief, but one that we can still resonate
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with. So it's the kind that doesn't come from
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the loss of a person, but from the loss of a
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chapter. This is the grief of change. Leaving
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a career that defines you, stepping away from
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a role you carry for years, outgrowing a life
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you once worked so hard to build. This kind of
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grief can feel disorienting because on the outside
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everything looks perfectly fine There may not
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be a visible tragedy in fact there may even be
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forward movement happening expansion and opportunities
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that you're taking advantage of Maybe it was
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even your choice for these changes to happen
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or they were necessary Or maybe you're even becoming
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more aligned with where you're at, where you're
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supposed to be. But yet, there's an underlying
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sadness to it all. Now, I can say this personally,
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there are moments when I miss what I once was.
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The structure, the familiarity, the identity
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that came with it. And there are days when I
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feel nostalgic. nostalgic for the version of
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my life that felt known and steady, but at the
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same time I know deeply that what is being created
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now is way more in alignment with who I'm supposed
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to be. I'm more fulfilled, I'm more expansive,
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I'm more prosperous in many ways. and that goes
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way beyond a title or a paycheck. But both can
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be true. You're not grieving the pain, you're
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grieving the familiarity. The nervous system
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attaches to what it knows. Even if what it knows
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wasn't fully aligned, or that it was very predictable,
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it had shape, it had rhythm, and it was comfort.
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So when you choose growth, or when growth chooses
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you, because many times that's how it happens
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too, right? There's often a threshold of space,
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a limited or a space of in between where the
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old is gone, but the new hasn't fully formed
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yet, right? So you're kind of in this in -between
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kind of weird space, right? But in that space,
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your heart may whisper, I know this is right,
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but I miss what was. That doesn't mean you made
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the wrong decision. It means that you're integrating.
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It means that you're getting used to what's to
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become. This is where transitions are taking
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form and transitions are very layered. You can
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feel gratitude and grief at the same time, relief
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and longing, excitement and uncertainty. You
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can feel all of those at once. But these are
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not weaknesses. This is expansion. And honoring
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the complexity is part of the moving through
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it with grace. being open to that and being honest
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with yourself as you're going through these emotions
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they're perfectly normal there's no judgment
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in them and allow those emotions to come up and
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work through them find someone to talk to and
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work through them so the third part and this
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one might be the quietest grief of them all the
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grief of the person you used to be. Not the version
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that died, not the version that carried you,
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the one who survived, the one who hustled, the
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one who stayed small in safe spaces, the one
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who held everything together and carried everyone
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else. As you step into awakening, as you heal
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and you evolve you begin to shed identities and
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even when those identities are heavy when they
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that were familiar they gave you structure they
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gave you purpose they gave you a way of understanding
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yourself and I see this often especially in moms
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you know there is a profound grief that can rise
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when our children begin to grow independently,
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when they don't need you the same way, when they
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stop reaching for your hand, when your role shifts
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from constant caregiver to quiet supporter, and
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it can feel like you're no longer needed the
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same way that you were. And you may be asked,
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well, you know, I used to do all of these things.
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Who am I now? And that question can ache. You
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know, because motherhood, especially hands -on
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motherhood, becomes intertwined with our identity.
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It becomes rhythm. It becomes a mission. And
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it becomes proof of value. So when that season
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changes, It can feel like something inside of
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you is dissolving, but what's dissolving is not
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your worth, it's your role. There can be grief
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in no longer being the fixer, the strong one,
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the rescuer, the overachiever, the constant caregiver,
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the one who never needed help because of You
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are no longer that, then what are you? When you
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step into who you're supposed to be, start owning
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your own becoming, you are asked to release identities
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that once identified you, that once defined you,
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and letting go, even when it's growth, It carries
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loss. But here's the reframe. A different way
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to look at it. You're not losing yourself. You're
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expanding beyond that single role. You're meeting
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the version of you that exists outside of being
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needed and discovering that you are worthy even
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when you are not required to be. and that kind
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of becoming can feel very destabilizing but at
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the same time it is deeply freeing because you
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are stepping into a space of learning who you
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are again you're no longer the mom who took everything
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on that drove everybody to soccer practice or
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to PTA meetings or you know to go see their friends
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you're being able to discover what keeps that
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brings excitement and joy to you that makes you
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feel alive and that is amazing so you know grief
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isn't something to rush through but something
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to walk with not something to conquer not something
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to get over but something that reshapes you quietly
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from the inside grief will slow you down it softens
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the sharp edges that we carry it strips away
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what is performative and returns you to what
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is real and when you allow it truly allow it
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grief becomes a threshold it can humble you it
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deepens your compassion it expands your capacity
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to hold complexity in yourself and in others
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it teaches you that strength is not suppressive
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that love does not disappear that identity can
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evolve without you losing your essence grief
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reminds you that life is fragile and sacred and
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in many ways grief is proof that you lived that
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you loved that you risked attachment that you
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allowed yourself to care deeply and that you
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dare to change even when change costs you something
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grief is not the opposite of growth often is
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the doorway to it now if you are grieving right
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now whether it's over a person, a season, a role
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or a former version of yourself I want to offer
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you this you are not behind you are not failing
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and most importantly you are not weak you are
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in transition and transition even when it feels
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disoriented is very sacred you are in the space
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between what was what is becoming. That space
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can feel tender, it can feel uncertain, and it
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can feel like standing in an unfamiliar light.
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But nothing about this means that you're doing
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it wrong. So let yourself cry when the waves
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come up, when those emotions come up. Let yourself
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rest when your body needs stillness. Let yourself
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remember without rushing to move on and let yourself
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evolve without apology Grief and growth often
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walk hand -in -hand The very thing that aches
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is also the place where something new is forming
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And you don't have to force the becoming You
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only have to allow it. So if you are moving through
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grief right now, I want to offer just a few gentle
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supports. Not to fix, but to help you walk with
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it. So first thing I would say is journal. Giving
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the grief a voice. So sometimes grief just wants
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to be witnessed. So try writing about it without
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censoring Write a letter to the person that you
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lost write to the version of yourself that you
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released Write about what you miss the most write
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about what you're afraid of Write about what
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is happening? What is your beginning starting
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to look like? You don't have to be poetic you
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just have to be honest and when emotions move
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from the inside of your body onto paper it creates
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space and it's allowing that emotion to be in
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motion so there are some prompts that you can
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use to help with this like what did this person
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teach me or what did What part of me feels most
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tender right now? What am I afraid I will never
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be the same? And then what is quietly trying
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to emerge? These are great prompts. The second
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thing I would like to do is tell you to share
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your story. Grief softens in safe spaces So isolation
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intensifies the grief whether so I'm gonna say
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whether it's a trusted friend a therapist a spiritual
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mentor a support group Speaking your story out
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loud allows your nervous system to feel witnessed
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And there is something profoundly healing about
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someone saying That makes sense. Or it's okay
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for you to feel that way. You don't have to carry
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this along. So please find someone or a group
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that you can share with. The third thing I would
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say is allow ritual. So you can light a candle.
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Visit a meaningful place. Create a small personal
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ceremony to honor what was. Rituals give the
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heart a container for transition. So create your
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own ritual that works best for you and your memories.
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The fourth thing I would say is tend to your
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body. Grief is not just emotional. is psychological.
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So walk, breathe deeply, practice yoga or tai
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chi, something that brings in movement. And there
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can be times like when you're having a really
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hard time, just place your hand on your chest.
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When the waves come up and let your body move
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that energy, Rather than bracing against it whether
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than trying to shove it down or forget about
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it Be gentle with yourself offer yourself gratitude
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offer yourself graciousness and patience And
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laughs And the last thing that I would like to
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offer in this is give yourself permission to
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feel joy again. And this one surprises a lot
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of people. But sometimes we unconsciously hold
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onto grief because joy can feel disloyal. Smiling
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feels wrong. Laughter feels like betrayal. But
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moving forward can feel like leaving something
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or someone behind. But allowing yourself moments
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of light does not diminish your love. In fact,
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it actually honors it. And if you pause for a
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moment, and if you think about the person or
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the season that you're grieving, will they truly
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want you to stay small, stay dim, and live half
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-heartedly? Of course not. They're going to want
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you to get out there and enjoy life. and thrive
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and find laughter and hope and joy again in your
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day. The love you shared was never meant to cage
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you in sorrow. The lessons, the memories, the
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imprint that left in your life, all of those
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are meant to expand you, not shrink you. So choosing
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joy again is not forgetting. is carrying their
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impact forward. It's living in the way that reflects
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what they gave you. And it is allowing love to
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evolve from memory into embodiment. You are allowed
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to heal. You are allowed to continue living.
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And you are allowed to expand even after loss.
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And in many ways, this is how you honor what
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has been lost. Staying buried in grief does not
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prove your love. Living fully, following your
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dreams, and remembering with an open heart, that
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is what honors that love. is what honors that
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loss. So as always, thank you for being here.
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Thank you for being willing to feel deeply. Thank
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you for allowing yourself to sit with this. And
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thank you for choosing this whole lead path.
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God asks you to grow through change. Embrace
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it and move forward with it. So, if this episode
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resonated with you, share it with someone. Right?
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And I would say be sure to subscribe so you stay
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on top of the latest episodes that come out.
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And I promise you, you do not have to rush through
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your healing. You do not have to carry it alone.
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Find someone to support you and until next time
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Just be true to you and all will align Check
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out our show notes so you can get Links to my
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website my services upcoming events and also
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sign up for my newsletter and find out where
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you can get my Meditations to support these amazing
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podcast as well And until next time, I'll see
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you then. Bye.