Latest / Son of a Boy Dad / Mark Normand | Son of a Boy Dad #402

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Mark Normand | Son of a Boy Dad #402 · Son of a Boy Dad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Hey guys, it's big cat. When you're on a long
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: road trip traveling between cities, anything can happen, flat tires,
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: endless traffic, stopping to see a fifty foot wooden alligator.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: But I suspect everything actually happens for a reass Like
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: is grit Week really it's time to visit different training
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: camps or is it just an excuse to check out
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: different places.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: To get eress?
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: And when we stop to fuel up or are we
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: really stopping to refuel on REases after countless miles thinking
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: about chocolate and peanut butter, It all starts to make
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: sense that everything happens for a reass You guys.
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• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Alrighty well, nothing much to it.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Get you Vinyl up there.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: Mark was like, what's that real?
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Oh shit, Hew, you fooled me.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Premise well Harry's diary and might be premise.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we have no premise. All right, great, happy to say,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: all right, shot weick let's do it. Label out on
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: that too, that sponsored label out.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: You have been get the belt, I'll think.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 1:45
  Speaker 6: Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast.
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: We are here joined by Mark normand he good to
• 1:52
  Speaker 6: be here. Thank you for being here, Thank you for
• 1:55
  Speaker 6: joining us.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Fellows. How we doing?
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: Good energy?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: You stutter.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Boys? How about it?
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: You're like walking into a game. Stop what's going on?
• 2:12
  Speaker 6: I never know how to start it when we don't
• 2:13
  Speaker 6: know when the exact date it's coming out is.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this is gonna come out in the future,
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: sometime next year. They all do.
• 2:25
  Speaker 6: Kevin Hart's doing like a new show where it's like,
• 2:28
  Speaker 6: I mean, it's kind of like last comic standing.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they have judges and then they have young comics
• 2:35
  Speaker 5: come on and perform for them and they vote who's
• 2:37
  Speaker 5: the best and all that shit.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: If you're doing that show, how do you know when
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: to like hit the NOAs, like, are you using your
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: best material? It's like America's got talent. If you're a comic,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: are you using your best ship right at the top
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: of the show. Yeah, I mean then what about like
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: week eight when it's like the finals, then you're fucked.
• 2:53
  Speaker 6: That's pretty much what's going on. I've watched the first
• 2:56
  Speaker 6: two episodes. The first one it's like they just do
• 2:58
  Speaker 6: like the seller and everyone like a ten minute spot
• 3:01
  Speaker 6: or something like that. And then like the second episode,
• 3:03
  Speaker 6: they're like they're roasting Marshawn Lynch, which is a very
• 3:09
  Speaker 6: odd yeah, like task to be uh provided with, but yeah,
• 3:13
  Speaker 6: so they're they're roasting marsh On Lynch and that was terrible.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: No one did well. They all did back. Can we
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: touch on Marshawn Lynch for one second?
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't.
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: I was actually thinking about this while I was watching.
• 3:25
  Speaker 6: I was like, because they bring out Marshawn Lynch, the
• 3:27
  Speaker 6: crowd's going insane and in my head, I was like.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Who's having that?
• 3:30
  Speaker 6: Who would be having that reaction from Marshawn?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know, be careful of Francis, what are you
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: about to say about Marshall Lynch.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: So this is my thought about Marshawn Lunch, And this
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: is a thought that I've always had about Marshaw Lynch,
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: which is that, as we may remember, during his playing days,
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: he professed to have an anxiety about postgame interviews that
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: bordered on like crippling social like claustrophobia. Do you remember, Yeah,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: kind of because they kept finding him for it, and
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: then he'd get up there and have to do it,
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: and all the pundits were like, this, poor guy. You
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: can just see him breaking. Clearly he's not comfortable, and
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: yet now he's spun out into a cross cultural media career. Yeah,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: how do you go from not being able to answer,
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: so what do you think about their defense? To playing
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: a guy on Euphooria That to me is bullshit? I
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: and you know he care about this call bullshit on
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: like a mental health thing, but.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he beat it. You're like pissed that he doesn't
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: have cancer forever like.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: He was doing stuff with Conan he's got like all
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: kinds of front facing, speech oriented roles and things that
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: require him being on camera and talking on camera and
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: being himself, and he seems to be relishing it. And
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: that's to his credit. But I don't find that squares
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: for me with with how insanely crippled he became postgame interview.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: Do you remember this?
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I've seen him eating things other than skittles,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Like I think he's a fraud.
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: Yes, Of all the athletes to roast, like, yeah, get
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: a Michael Vick, Aaron Rodgers. There's a lot of kookie
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: stuff going on. Marsha On Lynch just feels a little dated.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it just doesn't really make sense. And like the crowd.
• 5:27
  Speaker 6: It's in a theater, right and the crowd's going insane.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: I mean that's all you know. Yeah, stage, come on,
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: there's like a director there.
• 5:36
  Speaker 6: I feel like if I saw Marshawn Lynch, I'd be like,
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: holy shit, it's Marshawn Lynch.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then that would be it about it again.
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: You'd move on to next airport.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: He's roastable though, he's cross he's cross eyed, he is.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: That's timeless. That's like, yeah, you can always find some
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: something physical.
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  Speaker 3: Everything I just said was just an audition for Kevin
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  Speaker 3: Hart's show. I didn't mean any of it. Actually, I'm
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: a big fan.
• 6:00
  Speaker 6: I honestly think I have a theory that Kevin Hart's
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: not even there while they're filming. Yeah right, every time
• 6:05
  Speaker 6: they cut to him, it looks like he's in like
• 6:07
  Speaker 6: just his own room with like a green screen behind it.
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: Sounds rare. That's what's a problem with these shows is
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: like I never watched these because what they do to
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: stand up, Like we're all gonna live in a house,
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: and then we're gonna cook a pizza and we're gonna
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: roast the pizza, you know, like they always have to
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: make some events.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: And so it started off with comedy.
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: They're at the cellar, they're doing stand up, okay, but
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: now we're off on roasting. And then the next one's like,
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: we're gonna build a lawnmower out of sticks.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Why not just have to do comedy the whole time.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know, comedy to comedy. I think they're out
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: of material. It is like, uh, I don't know.
• 6:43
  Speaker 6: I feel like these shows like the payoff doing them
• 6:45
  Speaker 6: as a comic. It's like you either win or you
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  Speaker 6: just look like a fucking dumb ass, right, it's kind
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: of tough, Like I don't I don't think I would
• 6:53
  Speaker 6: ever be able to do something like that. Like I
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: was watching the Roast, like they have to roast like
• 6:57
  Speaker 6: you know, like in like a regular roast, like you'll
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: roast the the guests to the special guest and you'll
• 7:02
  Speaker 6: roast everyone else on like the panel and everything. Yes,
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  Speaker 6: like they have to do that at a theater, but
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  Speaker 6: it's like no one knows the people because they're all
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  Speaker 6: like small comedians and sure spread out around America. So
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  Speaker 6: it's like you're roasting just like a random dude to
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  Speaker 6: the crown.
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  Speaker 1: I honestly don't want to see white people roasting. I
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  Speaker 1: have no interest in it. I just need my black
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  Speaker 1: brothers to be doing that. I really don't want to
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: sit there's like no no white dudes, and that's like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: he's fucking killing it right now. It's it's an art form.
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  Speaker 1: If some black dudes are doing it, they have a
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: different Yeah.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know, man, Jeff Ross, Greg Giraldo, Okay,
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: well Greg, And also I saw Shane Gillis's his couple
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: of his Kevin Hart jokes. They're pretty great.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he said that they were good.
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: They're dicey. He's gonna get in trouble.
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  Speaker 1: I think I'm more talking about like classroom roasting, like
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  Speaker 1: when everybody's like snapping on each other. I think that like,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: if you want a cerbic well written like sharp joke, Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: those are probably the guys to go to. What is
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  Speaker 1: it there? Like a show and it's like a bunch
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  Speaker 1: of dudes. It's like a bunch of grown comics sitting
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  Speaker 1: in like a classroom and it's the funniest fucking show.
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  Speaker 1: All they're doing is like roasting on each other and
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: it's like on the spot. That's a great idea. It's
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: so fucking funny. Is it called is it roast me?
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: So ron? If you don't know Mark Roan grew up
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: in the hood, and I don't even think I'm actually
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: a kidding. He's he was a world champion battle rapper.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: This is all true?
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: What and.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: King of the Dot, which is their kind of super Bowl,
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: And and so he comes, he comes, sorry, he's he's
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: like Mark Wahlberg in that movie Four Brothers. Oh yeah,
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: uh where instead of like violence, they rapped.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's probably a better movie comparison. If you're going
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: to compare to a rap battle, there's probably like mile.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that would work. I forgot about that fish
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: Fish out of Water sort of premise, But.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I gave that up a long time ago because it
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  Speaker 1: is uh, not lucrative and after a while embarrassing to
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: keep on doing, you know what I mean, there's like
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: you kind of have to age out of that. You
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: can't just do that shit forever. But this show was
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: funny as fuck. These dudes are I think that this
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: is the one. I'm talking about five seasons, just these.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: I mean, without even hearing it, I can already it's funny.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: That's funny.
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: That's really funny.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: This is brilliant. I've never heard of it. Honestly, it
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: would be something that you would like and maybe even
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: thrive at.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: But public school, if you had been there, wouldn't you
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: have been right at home?
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: I think these dudes are significantly funnier than I am.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I think that these dudes are so And there's something
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: about the way you deliver the joke where you're laughing
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: at your own joke.
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: And then everybody starts laughing at it.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: It's like a supreme confidence to be able to machine
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: gun because I don't even know if these dudes are
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: writing it. Maybe they are in their deliveries, just so natural.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have been sitting in one of those
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: chairs being like, can we please shut up so we
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: can learn something distracting from the reason we're all here.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: You said you went to public school. Yeah, what was
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: the ratio?
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: Was in New Orleans, so I'd say it was probably
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: seventy thirty black.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, Oh wow, yeah really, so that wasn't that kind
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: of thing.
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: Totally a lot of zinging, a lot of zanging, a
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: lot of your mom is so fat. I think I'm
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: a little older than you guys. So it was a
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: lot of uh, just classic mom shit any appearance. And
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: black people have this like weird ability to get kind
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: of abstract and creative with a zing. Like one time
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: a guy told me he's like, shot the fuck up, man,
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: you look like a rich lady's dog, and it crushed
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: about me and I was like, damn, that's good. But
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: I don't know if he's right or wrong, but just
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: the fact that he came up with that, in my mind.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Everything about is good. Like the economy of language is
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: like fast you like get to the punchline really well,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: like that's I mean, yeah, yeah, pretty brilliant.
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: Brilliant coming out of those guys. And they're all almost no.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Time though.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: If they had the MTV too, I know them. Yeah
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: it was filming then, Mark, did your school have metal detectors? No,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: we were.
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: We was kind of before all that. We never got
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: that far.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: I was gonna say, they'd probably going off all the
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: time with their teeth and whatnot.
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, true, true, and the jewelry, but yeah, it was.
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: It was dicey for sure.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: That's exciting that, like they were throwing.
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: Well, the weird thing is we never had a school
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: shooting because they were black.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: They don't do that.
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: Ironically, black people have the metal detectors at the school,
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: didn't shoot each other?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Does it just not count? Like, you know, is there
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: a tree falling? And like what why is that? What
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: they you know, what.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: They say is that the only thing that can stop
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: a school shooter is a black student with a gun.
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: Did you see that principal that tackle the guy. Yes,
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: that was amazing. That was like out of a movie,
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: the fat balding principle.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: Everybody wants to believe that that's what they would do totally.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: You want to think that that's what they would do, but.
• 12:03
  Speaker 6: I does I know for a fact, I wouldn't do that. No, no,
• 12:06
  Speaker 6: sprinting the other way.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: As a teacher, kids behind you into the line of fire.
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: I wouldn't trust you to just sprint general. Look at
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: that so serious.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, this guy's gotta be fifty eight sixty.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: And then they went to prom the next week. I
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: got out he got shot in the leg. He did
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: because of that. Yeah, he went to prom when he
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: got crowned the king.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: It's like a movie.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: Shit. Yeah, well, everyone dances with the paraplegic.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: It's so easy to get invited if you're a paraplegic.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: But Francis, I'm just scared that that will never be you,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: because I know that you want it so bad. But
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I feel like you just have had like chances recently.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: I've only had the one chance.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: You had two chances.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: When was the other one?
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: The guy on the street out here and then the
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: people biking in from Brooklyn that stole that lady's purse
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: right in front of you while you were on the bike.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: I know that one. What was the one out here?
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: On there was like a guy that you like accosted
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: or something, but then you like let him go.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: You took and the girl that was that was vandalized.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: The girl that was vandalizing.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: He wants to be a hero you're talking about. Really,
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: he wants to He wants to stop crime.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: He thinks he would, but then he had three chances.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: Stop, wait a minute, let's let's break those three chances down.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you because you're you're you're a city biker.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Right big time?
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, a city bike everywhere, and uh yeah I
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: do wear one now. Ever since the comic passed.
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: Away, it's pretty horrible.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: That hit way too close to home. For like, I'm
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: like that I literally take that route that he he
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: hit his head on. It was what's his name, Casey
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: was Kenny. Yeah, he just like went out, he hit
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: a pothole, went over the handlebars, and hit his head
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: on a car fender and that's it there was. It
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: wasn't like he he didn't hit a moving car. He
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: wasn't like drinking nothing. So I was like, all right,
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna wear a helmet that it kidding. That is
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: a Harvard Lacrosse commet. But be a little on the
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: nose if bike around the city.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Like seeking out contact.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: It's one of those guys on those single wheel things
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: where they have like arm pads on and that is
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: what they wear.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I saw one of those dudes yesterday weaving in and
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: out of They're amazing.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: Mark. I was. I live in Dumbo, and I was
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: coming into the city and I was getting on the
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: Manhattan Bridge and I saw out of the to the left,
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: like kind of out of the corner of my eye,
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: I saw a woman get knocked down. Oh, she was
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: just waiting kind of on the curb. And I saw
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: then a guy close by to her really like wobbling
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: on a bike, on a city bike and e bike,
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: and I was also on an ee bike, and then
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: four other people were like with him on e bikes,
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: and I started to process what happened. I noticed that
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: he was slinging a woman's bag over his shoulder, So
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: he had like driven up, ridden up to her, knocked
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: her down, grabbed her handbag, slung it over his shoulder,
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: and then biked off with his like four lookouts or whatever.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: And I turned to chase them down four of them.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: That was five, it was five.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: There was the there was the thief, and then there
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: was his four henchman, and I thought, I think confidently
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: I could overtake them simply because I city bike so
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: much that I know, I know really how to get
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: the most juice out of my e bike.
• 15:46
  Speaker 6: Okay, the physic key is to let it sit for
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: a couple seconds.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: We'll give it a couple of pumps. That's not it.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: You think that those guys know how to like draft
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: and to lower their head to the point where they're created,
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Like I was gonna go
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: full on them to hunt them down and do it
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: in a way where they wouldn't have They would have
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: been like, oh, this guy's in a hurry. Yeah, and
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, I'm knocking them down. I
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: played the whole thing out my number.
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: Your plan was to get knock them down, get the purse,
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: and then bail out.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: Before My play was just to knock him the guy
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: who had stolen the purse, was to knock him down. Okay,
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: that was my whole plan.
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: Why wouldn't the four other guys just beat the shit
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: out of.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: It because they're all The first guy, I had a
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: stick and I was going to throw in his spokes.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Indiana Jones style. He flips over.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, much like in the stick would have just exploded.
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: He would have just cleanly ridden off.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: Did you ever see that movie, uh with the with
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: the the cyclists in it was like it was a
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: great movie. It had Dennis Quaid in it from the
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: nineteen eighties.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, break Away, breaking Away a film, What a great movie.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Great movie.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: And he finally rides with the Italian team and they
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: throw they throw the in his spokes and flip him over.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: So that was what inspired That's how I got the
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: first guy. That's one guy, and then the second guy.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: I think I was just gonna hopefully push away, right,
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: and then maybe the other two guys now realize I'm
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: not to be fucked with, so they bug off. They
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: like bug outever, you know. But then now it's just
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: me and the guy with the with the bag.
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: Okay, with a young Oh yeah, yeah, all right, that helps?
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, what like how old were they though?
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: You know, probably like sixteen to twenty.
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: They got nothing to lose.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: It's dangerous ia thing.
• 17:33
  Speaker 6: They would have pieced you up. I have to go
• 17:35
  Speaker 6: far to lose. No, they would have found it. They
• 17:38
  Speaker 6: would have found whatever you have to lose, and they
• 17:40
  Speaker 6: would have taken it.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: They would allerd you to a one way, they would
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: allord you to a cul de sac.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: The only thing that I have. Well, bring me into
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: my own environment, bring me to a home game. Oh no,
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: su oh, look ring Cam, It's perfect, just what I want.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: I want this documented, so it goes viral and I
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: get you know.
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: So I grew up a pretty bad neighborhood. I got
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: my bike stolen all the time, and one time three
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: guys pushed me off of b I was like eleven
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: twelve and they were probably sixteen seventeen. They had armpit hair,
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: which freaking I'll never forget it. But I had gotten
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: fucked with so much and I kind of just lost
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: my kool and the kids stole my bike, and before
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: you get away, I just pushed him like fuck you.
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: I knocked him over on the bike, and then one
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: of his friends just punched me in the stomach, and
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: I was like, okay, okay, okay, all right, take it easy.
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: But I got off easy.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I felt like, stomach punch is almost more disrespectful than
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: a face punch. Yeah, it really takes it out of you.
• 18:35
  Speaker 7: Yeah, And I was like, oh, yeah, you can't breathe
• 18:40
  Speaker 7: when you I mean, when you're a kid, right and
• 18:43
  Speaker 7: you have your bike stolen, What's what happens next?
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: You buy a new bike?
• 18:50
  Speaker 5: Well, yeah, I ran home crying and my mom, you know,
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: she's such like a bleeding heart liberal that I was like,
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: these black kids stole my bike, and she was like, well,
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: they need it, thanks, bitch, appreciate its mark. And yeah,
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: I got I guess I got a new bike, like
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: in Christmas or something.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: And but that my question becomes, if they have such
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: an easy time stealing a bike from you and there's
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: no repercussions for them, and then you get a new bike,
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: don't you just become like a vending machine of bicycles?
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: I stopped riding it after a while. Yeah, that's pretty sad.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: And you're just looking up at his armpit hair.
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: You get why people buy guns. You're like, comes home
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: to shoot them. It's my only option. I can't beat
• 19:36
  Speaker 5: them up. They're all tougher than me and bigger than me.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I remember the first time seeing kids had armpit hair,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: and it was I was in seventh grade, I think,
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: and it was a kid a grade lower than me.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: He was in sixth grade. Oh yeah, yeah, it's devastating
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: to see a kid in sixth grade have armpit hair
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: like I was in sixth he was in fifth. It's like,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: why am I not? Why am I not caught up yet? Yeah?
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Finding out like one of my.
• 19:58
  Speaker 6: Buddies had like a full bush and I had like
• 20:01
  Speaker 6: I didn't even I hadn't even begun to have like
• 20:04
  Speaker 6: a single hair.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like, what the fuck? How did you find out?
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: That's probably just showed it to us.
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: Do you remember your I remember seeing a couple of sprouts?
• 20:14
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, An, I remember I had one individual pube
• 20:20
  Speaker 6: and I cut it off with a nail clipper.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: I get this thing the funk out.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Of here, saved it, framed it.
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: Can you grow fisher or you just do the cleanest
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: shave of all time, every single day of your life.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: I can grow a full beard.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I really have a sick beard. You would have
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: awesome year.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: What color is it? Like? A dark rust? Really? Whoa
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: dark rust? That's crazy, it's kind of nice.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Why don't you just grow that? Bitch?
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: Everyone wonders of this, Why I don't grow a beard?
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: I've just even let it stubble, like you got the
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: cleanest shave on today. Okay, but I've never seen you
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: with any kind of.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think I have either. Yeah, you definitely have.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: I definitely would remember this rust if I saw it.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: No, it is, it's I've seen it once in an
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: incredible rust.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've got a rust and now it's got flex
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: of gray and it's quite distinguished.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why not let that thing go?
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Well, the first the first problem is that I have
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: really sensitive skin. So for two weeks or maybe even three,
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: it is the most uncomfortable thing in the world for me.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: To get past that, it's like itchy and really really miserable.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: And then somehow you kind of break through the cloud
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: cover and you're you're increasing altitude and it's fine after that.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: But the other part of it, you know, full disclosure,
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: I'm very vain, as you guys know. It rounds out
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: my face.
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: Ah, I see.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: And I like having a little angularity.
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: I get it. I get it.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: It can be one of those dudes that like shaves there, like, yeah,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: a sharp beard, that'd be sick.
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and your pupes are they quite rich and full?
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Uh?
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: That was rusty as well. No, I shave those every day.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, you have a landing strip. I forgot that you
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: have a landing strip.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Tac toe board currently losing.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: Beautiful landing strip. But damn, I think just what was
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: the longest you ever had it? Have you ever had like?
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Is there a picture? Maybe?
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 22:29
  Speaker 8: Really?
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: There we go.
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, don't don't you hate I hate shaving. That's like
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: you got a straight razor right there. Yeah, you gotta
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: go to the barber shop every day.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sweetening TODs every day.
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: I don't love shaving. But again, it's just like after
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: three or four days, my face is so fucking uncomfortable
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: that I have to shave every day. No, I shave
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: like every three days probably, damn. Yeah, I'll show you
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: a picture. Here you go.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm fucking struggling to grow this bitch ass, shitty,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: fucking beard. You could easily have a thick ass rust
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: on your face.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: Look, just because I'm better than people at certain things
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: doesn't mean I need to exercise that, thank you do.
• 23:08
  Speaker 6: I wish I could grow a beard. Oh, I mean
• 23:12
  Speaker 6: it'll get like, it'll grow out, but it's just like
• 23:14
  Speaker 6: patchy and gross. It looks like having like showered.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: That's nasty.
• 23:20
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• 25:06
  Speaker 5: So wait, what happened with the bike?
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: He just thought about it. Nothing happened. He turned his
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: shoulders and then he and then he's like he thought
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: better of it.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: I realized that everything you said, which is that there
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: were five of them, and you know, I don't even
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: know if what this woman had in her bag was
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: particularly value.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: She might have been in on it trying to.
• 25:30
  Speaker 6: Maybe she robbed them maybe that was their bag.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: They were taking it back. Yeah.
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: The problem with being a hero is i'll, i'll, I'm
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: down to do some hero shit if I get a
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: guaranteed news story.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Same, I don't want to do it for nothing.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: There were this was middle of the day. There were
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: a lot of people around.
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: That helps me.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: And she was decent looking.
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: Oh that helps too.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: You know, satisfaction is awesome. It might just be enough
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: to just know if you're that guy, if you're that
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: principal for the rest of your life, you kind of
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: feel pretty good about yourself.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but he knew, He definitely knew that camera was there.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he waited till the guy got fraid. Yeah.
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah, he was like, there's one right over by this bend.
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: Just take him out here.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Is that rolling he's.
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: Looking right at the camera while he's removing the gun.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: I was like, I bet that's his wallpaper now on
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: his phone.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
• 26:29
  Speaker 6: He's probably like I feel like if you do that once,
• 26:31
  Speaker 6: like you're just waiting for the second time now. Yeah,
• 26:34
  Speaker 6: walking around all day just waiting to tackle someone.
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and it sucks to if you're in the gross
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: store and somebody breaks in. Everybody's like the hero. Right
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: you go, oh that looks wow, look angular, that's crazy.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: This is from twenty eighteen.
• 26:53
  Speaker 6: No, I get what you you're definitely look I feel
• 26:54
  Speaker 6: like it's decently round a right, you look decently round.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: That doesn't even look like you. I know.
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: See that guy would have stopped the kids on the bus.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: If they wouldn't have taken it, they would have seen
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: there's a viking over there.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Exactly what, bro, You're fucking up so bad by not
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: having it, that's crazy. I never I never, Hey, hey
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: do it?
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not against it. You know, I'm not going down
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: on anyone these days.
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: You will with that thing.
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: My point is I don't want to cause irritation.
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, beard Burn, you would be a hero.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: No, I'm saying, I'm I'm open to do it now.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Because there's nobody lined up.
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: We need a female poll. We need like a Twitter
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: poll of him with.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Both those pictures to UH producers, just so they have
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: it to put into the men.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: Men love beards on other men. I don't know if
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: women do. I actually don't know the answer to that.
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: We could ask, but I assume you have no female listeners.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we have a few. We got a couple. Uh yeah,
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: we do have a few, but but they're they're few
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: and far between.
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: Got it?
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: Because sass is a heart throb? Is really what that is?
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: What it is? Women go crazy for that, right, Yeah,
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: they really do. Everywhere. I get messages from women being like, hey,
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: can you pass on this picture of my breasts Sary
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll make sure he gets it.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: I don't want I don't send it. I print it.
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: Well, you got the little cute boy thing. We really
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: like boy men.
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: When I was younger, I had a lot of girl fans,
• 28:36
  Speaker 6: but now it's pretty much just dudes. You got to
• 28:39
  Speaker 6: the shows and it's just a bunch of dudes, right, Francis.
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: Do girls come to shows like that? Like, dud, would
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: your women fan come to your shows? Early on?
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: Matt Rife, that's all his fans.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all girls.
• 28:53
  Speaker 6: I'm trying to think, like I remember, like maybe like
• 28:56
  Speaker 6: when I was really young, there would be like a
• 28:58
  Speaker 6: lot of girls of the shows, but now it's I
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: would say that there are girls at the shows now,
• 29:03
  Speaker 6: but it's usually girls that are there with like their
• 29:05
  Speaker 6: boyfriends or something, and they're pissed, right, right, happy at all.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: The girls aren't, no, because they're there with their boyfriends,
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: so they can't come up to you.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Exactly, dude, I just, I just I didn't even put
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: put it together that you have your new ship show
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: that came out. It's fucking sick with all the ball dudes.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: And yeah, that's I was talking to Mark about that.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: That's so good. That's that's such a creative concepts.
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we're shooting three more episodes tomorrow, so oh hell yeah, yeah,
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: we got a Chinese businessman hookers and I think white
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: supremacists really yeah groups, so that's gonna get that's crazy.
• 29:43
  Speaker 6: How did you find uh, like that many white supremacists?
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: How did you find that?
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: Well, you just throw out like a Craigslist type casting
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: thing and people want to be on TV and have
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: clicks so bad. They're like, yeah, well all the white supremacist.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: Do you almost doubt whether they're being authentic or not?
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: I think so, But I think there's more white supremacists
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: than you think.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, definitely, would that want to come on camera?
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: Well, I mean once you're it's kind of cool because
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: they're like, yeah, I'm racist of course, like everyone I
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: was like.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I'm not racist, don't cancel it. But they're all like, yeah,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: of course, why wouldn't I be racist? What do you nuts?
• 30:22
  Speaker 6: Maybe they'll have like the gators on, you know, the masks.
• 30:24
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, just fucking with masks on.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: It's like J six, you know. They're like, yeah, I'll
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: go to Jay six. Yeah why not? So what is
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: the had that premise come to be?
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Where's that come from?
• 30:37
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: It's funny.
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: I pitched it for years. I was like, Oh, this
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: should be a show. It's like a simple concept. And
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: everybody's like, ah, this, how are you gonna get all
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: those people? It's never gonna work. And I pitched all
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: these networks they all said no. I was at a
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: comedy club and a guy came up to me. He's like,
• 30:51
  Speaker 5: if you ever have any ideas? You know how they
• 30:52
  Speaker 5: always do that shit?
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: And I told him the idea and he was like,
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: that's it, We're doing it. And I was like, you
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: do all the work. I'm sick of it. And he
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: got everything settled and that was it. We shot it
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: and it worked.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: It worked, It did great. Yeah, it's fucking going good. Thanks.
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: Then you hosted or are you producing? What are you doing?
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: I just didn't want to do anything, So I said,
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: I'll do a set or you know, on each show,
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: but I don't want to like have to promote it
• 31:17
  Speaker 5: or book it or anything. They were like, okay, fine,
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: because that's how they get you. They always go, oh,
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: you won't do anything, and then they're like, we need
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: you to go on this this show and talk about
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: it whatever. But uh, yeah I didn't.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: These guys.
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: This is a company called Unicorn. They're like a production company,
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: and they made it and they did all the work.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: They edited it. Yeah, they're great.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: They killed it. They have some really good shows.
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: Brandon Burrera is my feature on the road and he's
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: been doing it. I think he's on He's he opened,
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: he hosted or something.
• 31:44
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he was a great host.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's awesome.
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: The beauty of him was he would go out after
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: the show and do like a Q and A And
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: it was this ship. These women said, These gen Z
• 31:54
  Speaker 5: chicks were fascinating.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: What uh like, is there how much you have to
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: change what you're about to say to any group or
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: are you just doing your material right down the middle,
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Like are you tailoring it for the group?
• 32:06
  Speaker 8: No?
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: I mean I only have what I have, so I
• 32:09
  Speaker 5: just do my act and let's see how, say, how
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: it goes.
• 32:12
  Speaker 6: I mean, who do you think is gonna be the
• 32:13
  Speaker 6: hardest tomorrow? I feel like white supremacists. I feel like
• 32:15
  Speaker 6: will be easy.
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: Super Yeah girls is always going to be the hardest.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like hookers might be tough.
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: Hookers can be tough because I don't think they're gonna
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: care or listen.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think they're gonna know what's really happening.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: That's what they listen to.
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, maybe I have a couple jokes fall flat, just
• 32:35
  Speaker 6: raise the hand.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Do you pay? Do you pay the hookers to come?
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we give them a couple of bucks and we
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: say you're gonna be on YouTube?
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: And is it like their rate? No?
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: No, thank god. We give them drinks. We'll say it's
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: gonna be a good time. You have a fun show.
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: A lot of lonely people have nothing to do in
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: the city.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, makes sense that many lonely hookers. It's crazy.
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think they're like I get to not get
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: you know, Yeah, this.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: Is way better. Let's just sit in a chair.
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: I can't wait for the Chinese businessmen to be like hookers.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: The lobby.
• 33:17
  Speaker 6: It's going to be a slow turnover between the show
• 33:20
  Speaker 6: one two right, Clearing out the room's going to take
• 33:25
  Speaker 6: a while.
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: But it really is wild how different I mean you
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: put its group. Think you put different people in a show,
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: same material, completely a reaction.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Like one of the early ones you did. I forget
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: all the groups that you did, but it was a
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: group that I was like, I don't know if these
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: people are gonna laugh, Like I don't know if this
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: humor is like for them, but it's like you kind
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: of like slowly got them, like one by one. Who
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: was it was?
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: It like it was gen Z girls girls, Yeah, and
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: like here's what's scared about the gen Z chicks was
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: there was two in the front who hated us, arms folded,
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: fuck you, you're offensive, you're problematic. But there was three Long
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: Island whore's in the back who just loved everything. They
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: were like, go darker, go harder. And then when they
• 34:07
  Speaker 5: did the Q and A, the two girls in the
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: front who were super like, you know, kind of woki
• 34:12
  Speaker 5: and whatever, they they made everyone else feel bad for
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: enjoying it. And then the Long Island girls were like,
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: we're sorry, you're right, they were problematic, and it was like,
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: oh my god, it's scary to watch them have a
• 34:23
  Speaker 5: good time. And then then they started to be like
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: I don't want to look like an asshole. So you're right,
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: they were bad. Yeah, yeah, And that's what was the
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: scariest part is that like they dominated them and made
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: them change their tune.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: It's sort of like sociological question, but like, do you
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: think that there's anything about maybe if the Long Island
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: girls had been in the front and those other girls
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: had been in the back, maybe the maybe crowd would
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: have followed that, and maybe, you know, I think, what
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: do you think the like angry is always going to win?
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: I think the angry wins because they were the loudest,
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: you know, the squeaky wheel thing. They were like no, no,
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: that one girl be like I thought it was funny,
• 34:59
  Speaker 5: and the other girls like, well, maybe you're a problem,
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: maybe you're a big and and she was like, okay,
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: you're right. It's kind of a microcosm of like Twitter.
• 35:07
  Speaker 6: Especially if they're like if you're on camera and they're
• 35:09
  Speaker 6: not usually on camp.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, probably like yeah, I don't.
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: Want this coming out and everyone's gonna think I'm like racist.
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: Exactly exactly, and you want to go, hey, you psycho
• 35:18
  Speaker 5: or just doing joke so you're retards.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Relax.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: It's funny because, as I'm sure you know or like
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: we've all experienced, is that for me, an audience that
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: has uh like is diverse, has black people in it,
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: those shows are always.
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: Better, way better. The black woman loved it.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: And because when when you do a joke that's edgy
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: or something like, often i'll white people will nervously check
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: out of the corner of their eye to see if
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: the black people are laughing, and then they are, and
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: it allows that it's like permission that everyone can laugh. Yeah,
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: whereas it sounds like with just the gen Z girls,
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: they're going to follow the leader of the anger.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:58
  Speaker 5: And again it's like you said, everyone wants to look
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: on the up and up. You know, nobody wants to
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: be called a racist on camera.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: Except for the white supremacist.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, they didn't call me a racist on camera
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: passed off after the fact. Damn, that's gonna be sick. Yeah,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: great concept.
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: Hey, thanks man, I wonder.
• 36:17
  Speaker 6: If they like do you think like they like any
• 36:19
  Speaker 6: of those guys like link up after.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: The show, like the probably.
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:23
  Speaker 6: If you get like forty Chinese businessmen in one room.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna get a stadium bill.
• 36:28
  Speaker 6: They're probably, Yeah, let's go get some drinks. They're networking, yeah,
• 36:31
  Speaker 6: talk shop.
• 36:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah true.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: They got to. I ate this weekend at a restaurant
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: in Brooklyn called The River Cafe.
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: M Oh, I've been there.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I saw you there one time from Afar and I
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: didn't want to. It's such a nice restaurant. You're not
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: going to fucking bother somebody at that restaurant. But how
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: sick is that restaurant?
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: That's a beauty I mean, that's a panty dropper, it is.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: It's like a timeless old New York.
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: It's fucking crazy expensive.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is fucked, but it's all right.
• 37:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah it was really cool, really pretty. Brought brought the wife. Uh,
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: I think I was in trouble, so they like it's.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: The perfect if you're in trouble, that's the perfect get
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: out of jail. Yeah, and like dumbos is awesome. Yeah,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: that's fucking lovely, sass. You gotta go to the River Cafe.
• 37:16
  Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely at some point wear your Jeff cap.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: But it's the kind of place you have to dress
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: up nicely. And I've seen them before. They they'll rent
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: out suit jackets to dudes there will come up under dress.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: They have like a white suit jacket that's rent miliated.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: It's so humiliated. They give it a white one. You
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: stick out like a sword thumb. And I saw the
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: guy trying to take it off, and the major d
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: came over to his table was like, you need to
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: wear that.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: I just go home. I'd be like, this is mortifying.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fucking nuts. You have to. I mean, I
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: guess you gotta dress.
• 37:51
  Speaker 6: Wearing fucking like the like just like corduroy pants and
• 37:54
  Speaker 6: a white blazer.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: You're like thumbing the corduroy Like, I don't know, sir,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure.
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: Concept we require this, and then you show up you
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: don't have it. They're like, we'll give you one.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, we do that with money. I don't
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: have any money with the bill. That is fucked. It
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: is nice. I mean, it's nice to dress up, but
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: if you're not dressed up, I don't know, you're you're
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: kind of fucked.
• 38:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah you're wearing a stinky jacket.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't like dressing. I don't like dressing up
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: to go get food, because.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Then you got then you're then you're then you eat
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: any type of.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: Does it need to be going to get food?
• 38:31
  Speaker 8: No?
• 38:31
  Speaker 6: No, I don't like dressing up, But I don't like
• 38:32
  Speaker 6: dressing up, especially to eat, because then you eat and
• 38:34
  Speaker 6: then your full, and then you got a fucking.
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: Suit on, yeah, bursting through it and you spill something
• 38:40
  Speaker 5: on it. Oh yeah, that sucks.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Reaching for ship in the jacket too, It's like you're
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: kind of like fulking out. It's like tough on the elbows.
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: So true.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: I know you love that ship trance.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: None of my dress clothes fit anymore, none of them
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: do really.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: But on a few LB's he's getting.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Fat, as joked. Right now he's up to two twenty
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: him twenty.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: Four now, Oh Jesus Christ.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: I normally fly around at like two ten to a
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: weight when I'm chasing people on city bikes. Yeah, and
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: right now I'm just way above my fighting weight, which
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: I'm not happy about. I'm okay with it.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: We got to get your body fat percentage.
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: I looked up. I looked up like how the most
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: efficient ways to cut on YouTube and all the thing.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: Again, that's vertical.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: After some assprin in a tub. But no, the uh
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: you know, all the videos are like twenty to thirty minutes.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: They always do that.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: It's really drives I'm like, I need one minute of
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: telling me what to do?
• 39:36
  Speaker 5: What about chat GBT?
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: What exactly? Just ask chat GBT. That's the kind of
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: shit you should be using it for, just some stupid
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: mindless thing where you could get the answer right, and
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: they just.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: Give you like it gives you the wrong answer.
• 39:47
  Speaker 6: It'll just it'll just tell you, like it doesn't matter
• 39:49
  Speaker 6: what you eat.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: Can we let's look it up in real time?
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: Here? All faith? And yeah, he thinks it's all wrong.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: Everything they say is wrong. Well, it's just it.
• 39:58
  Speaker 6: It's wrong so often that it's me makes it hard
• 40:00
  Speaker 6: to trust it for anything.
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: Right, which gives me hope because I'm like, all right,
• 40:03
  Speaker 5: it's wrong still.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly, it's wrong. It's wrong.
• 40:08
  Speaker 6: And like, have you seen those videos we were talking about.
• 40:09
  Speaker 6: Have you seen those videos of the kid that'll like
• 40:11
  Speaker 6: talk to chat chas. Oh, they're so funny.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: I think he does ship with Unicorn too, stuff with
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Unicorn too. Yeah.
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: Shit, yeah he'll put on like he'll just like show
• 40:21
  Speaker 6: his face and He'll be like, look at this, like hideous,
• 40:24
  Speaker 6: like face filter I have on? And then chat ChiPT
• 40:27
  Speaker 6: will be like, yeah, you look like fucking disgusting.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: And then he's like, I don't have a filter on.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: He just catches the damn this hat is actually say.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: It looks nice and take it, take it down to golf.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, grow a beard and wear hats from now.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: And that's not a bad idea.
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: Oh nice, that's a good call.
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: That's who I am now.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: Just be a sovereign citizen. Just be like a guy
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: who knows his rights and like films and post offices
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: and ship like that.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: So did you guys have a boy dad? Like? What
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: does that mean? Your dad was just a deadbeat or
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: a what is the boy dad?
• 40:59
  Speaker 6: The boy thing doesn't really come from anything. I guess
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: it was we started the show. I don't remember how
• 41:05
  Speaker 6: long ago, like five years, five years ago, and uh,
• 41:08
  Speaker 6: it was just me and Roan in the beginning, and
• 41:10
  Speaker 6: he came up with the name.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: But it was I guess I'll play on retarded.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it has nothing to do with anything, I guess.
• 41:17
  Speaker 6: Like the the ideas that we're all sons of boy dads.
• 41:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's what I thought.
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's very inclusive.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, got it.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: It's quite circular too.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: Everyone's Sun podcast for everybody, got it, We're all. It
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: was when Kobe was really pushing the girl dad thing
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: and people really got.
• 41:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah that was that was after he died.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was. But it's like girl dad like
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: he he popularized being a girl dad, girl dads, Like,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: where's the boy dads?
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: He's a real helicopter parent.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: Having fun. We're having fun. It's funny. It's fun Is that?
• 41:58
  Speaker 5: Is that a Rogan weight?
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: That's funny?
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: That is for that?
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: I bought that. It was like five hundred dollars.
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: Every time he says it, the price goes up.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: It was four hundred, it was like three fifth.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: We can't have it on our table because the cameras
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: focus on his face.
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah you got black face Rogan.
• 42:17
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 42:18
  Speaker 6: I thought it was really funny when I bought it,
• 42:20
  Speaker 6: and then it just kind of became a weight to
• 42:22
  Speaker 6: hold the carpet down.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: It's not even doing a good job of that. That
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: carpet is still curling the carpet.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: But the ironic thing is that all this weight that
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: I've put on comes from the fact that I've got
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: into kettlebell workouts as watching them from Rogan and other
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: people on Instagram and stuff.
• 42:40
  Speaker 5: So you are more weight from muscle.
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: It's I think it's mostly that's good. Yeah, but I
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: don't look good. I just look like I'm ready to
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: fucking tell people they can't come into a bar.
• 42:55
  Speaker 6: But isn't that what we're all striving for to be
• 42:59
  Speaker 6: able to tell? I want to look like I'm ready
• 43:01
  Speaker 6: for this season. Yeah, golf season, no football season. I
• 43:07
  Speaker 6: want to look like I'm ready for football.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: You're gonna have to keep gaining weight.
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: Then came back from OT eight. Now I'm receiver. You
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: know what I mean. I want to look at your
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: receiver DeVante Smith AJ Brown.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: That's a big year game weight. Then yeah, you're sixty.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: This show is sponsored by Better Help. Life is a
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: journey some feel some days feel good, some days feel bad.
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: So many of you have reached out to me Francis
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: and asked me for help on your mental health journeys.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: And while I'm very honored and flattered to be solicited
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: for such advice, because I've been transparent about my own
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: mental health issues and the benefits that I've received from
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: working with a therapist. I'm not exactly equipped. I can
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: only go so far. If you really want trained, licensed professionals,
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  Speaker 3: you need to go to better Help. Okay, better help
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• 44:00
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  Speaker 3: e LP dot com slash sun. It's never too early
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: to start your mental health journey. Good luck. You think
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: aj how tall is?
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: He's six one twenty five or something like that.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: All right, that's not that far off from where I'm at.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Well you're like six three, Yeah, this is There's no
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: need for you to be walking around like.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: He's six eight. This is what we want. This is
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: who I want to be. Oh, I'm going to get
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: a bunch of tattoos.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: Why is he so shiny is listening.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: From a party.
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: That guy would have stopped a bike thief, Yeah, definitely, or.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: He was probably just flying away on the bike.
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: Train like that's what it sat on the video.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: What did it say?
• 45:19
  Speaker 6: That was the title of the thumbnail? Just said train
• 45:21
  Speaker 6: like like he's like a train.
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: Oh a freak. Yeah, there's no no reason to be
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: walking around like that. It's just disrespectful to everybody else.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: It's also a full time job like that.
• 45:33
  Speaker 6: Yes, Like you gotta be training every day consistent, like
• 45:38
  Speaker 6: you know, not just not just one kettlebell workout.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: I want to be. I want to be like the
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: one on the right, on the right, DK metcalf DK
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: eats a US candy. Still that's true.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he has a he's one meal a day and
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: like a bunch of candy. I refuse to believe that.
• 45:58
  Speaker 6: There's no way he's eating one meal a day. That's
• 46:01
  Speaker 6: the meal is like twenty thousand calories.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: Incredible bodies. Mark, let me ask you, you're walking through
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: the city of New York. You ever look at dudes packages?
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: You ever look Francy Dude's balls at constant balls and
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: dick Yeah, the.
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: Great sweatpants guys walking around. I always have to take
• 46:22
  Speaker 5: a check.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: You have to. I really feel like dudes are just
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: really flaunting their penises in this day and age, and
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know, I don't know if it's
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: like disrespectful or respectful to to just like get get
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: a sense of their penis.
• 46:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm a urinal looker.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'll go the extra even urinal. Wow.
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: Well, I'm very insecure with my genitalia, so I have
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: to know where I'm at.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Always assessing, assessing the people around you. The barstool Chicago
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: office just got a trough, old school trough there you're
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: just going to camp out. Was examined to post it
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: up with a stool and the and.
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: You know, I'm not I'm not huge, I'm not tiny.
• 47:02
  Speaker 5: But you know where I get fucked is my balls
• 47:05
  Speaker 5: are saggy, so I don't get that ball lift. You know,
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: like when you're a tight ball. Yeah, tight ball, it
• 47:11
  Speaker 5: pushes up the dog, so you get that little little lump.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: I'm the same way. I always talk about real long.
• 47:17
  Speaker 5: Balls, same hang, what's wrong with us?
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Like a necklace in like a jewelry store window,
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: houses like perch stopped there underneath the lights. Yeah, you
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: need a nice tight sack for that.
• 47:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so I think I would have a decent bulge
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: if I had had a good sack. Well, my sack
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: is on my knees.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: That's Sass's problems. Has has been going and Sas has
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: been going through this for the last five years since
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: we've had this show. He's always had long balls. Yeah,
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: well at the bottom of your pants right now.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: It is true though they don't. They don't. There's no
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: prop whatsoever.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: Right, no proper just to hang and instimes.
• 47:50
  Speaker 5: It a cold pool. You get a proper when you
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: get out. That feels pretty good.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: But is there a way that you can, like, shorten
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: the string you know what I mean, shorten the yo
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: yo string and pull them up? Or is it like
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: there's a pure yeah nut lift, get the lift. Girls
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: can get a boob job. We can't just get our
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: knuts like fucking.
• 48:07
  Speaker 5: We should hit it with boattox.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: Ball talks. Francis, you've been conspicuously quiet. I know you
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: got a tight sack.
• 48:16
  Speaker 3: No, I don't.
• 48:20
  Speaker 5: Bald as your cheek.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: Sitting on an orange a no droop to his sack.
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: Not good, it's the same.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: It's just a cartoon ps my.
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: Sack is above my paints. It's uh, it's the same
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: that your guys are describing. In fact, I had a
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: doctor's appointment a long time ago now where they were like,
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: that's too long. These are so long that you could
• 48:46
  Speaker 3: be affecting your sperm.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Can is there nowhere near your body? Yeah, like a
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: lawyer's desk.
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: We're gonna need to monitor this because I remember that
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: there was some medical thing they were quite concerned about.
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: And then I saw a different primary care physician years
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: later and I was like, you're okay, but it has
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: always worried me.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: I think that how did they check that? Were they
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: just like.
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean it's not for nothing that you know,
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: in order for me to come sexually, I need sexually.
• 49:20
  Speaker 5: Thanks for having that.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: I need them hoisted a little bit. I need them, lady, Yeah,
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: not need it.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: It just helps I enjoy a hoist.
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: I need the I need the dumb It's a bit
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: like you know when you were a kid and you'd
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: get to the bottom of the giant water cooler in
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: sports and there's only a little bit left and you'd
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: lift the whole thing to then tilted. Yes, I need
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: them lifted so they're closer to to spill.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: It like water in a plant.
• 49:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you throw your balls on the coach. Yeah, ball
• 50:01
  Speaker 5: ball play is great. But women like a tight sack.
• 50:04
  Speaker 5: They don't want that weird fucking over easy pendulum.
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they love a tight sack. And I just wish
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: they would be more open about it. Like we can
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: hear it from time to time, but that's got to
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: be one of their main things.
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: Well, this is why I only have sex with with
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: my pants on through the fly.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: Oh nice, hide.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: The sack completely. Yeah, well I need the world or
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: all have it with my underwear on and I'll go
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: through the thing because I have a built in shelf.
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: And I see, Yeah, you're automatically being lifted.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, because you're a brief man.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: They told me. They told me I had to be
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: a brief guy when that when I had that issue
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: with They're like, you got to switch whatever you're doing,
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: it's just it's not it's dragging them down.
• 50:47
  Speaker 6: Maybe that's my issue because I got no I have
• 50:50
  Speaker 6: no support at all. I wear big boxers support. It's
• 50:57
  Speaker 6: like a pair of shorts. You guys will tie like
• 51:01
  Speaker 6: a kettlebell to them. There you go, Yeah, what is
• 51:05
  Speaker 6: that jelking?
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: Is that tying into your balls or is that tying
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: into your bird?
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: I think it's to your penis?
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeahling, Are you familiar with joking? Is that you
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: put a weight? Yeah yeah, yeah, which seems like a
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: timeless technique, but it seems like it also was like
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: experiencing a rebirth. More people are the youth are finding jok.
• 51:25
  Speaker 6: Youth are getting into jelking at a rapid pace.
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: There was a famous pianist I can't remember a closer
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: who wished that he could have a wider His hands
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: weren't big enough to play like tenths or whatever, and
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: it bothered him, so he started putting his hands in
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: these like spacers, and it fucked up his hands to
• 51:46
  Speaker 3: the degree that he could no longer play.
• 51:47
  Speaker 6: Well, yeah, that's not that's not that surprise. I'm not
• 51:49
  Speaker 6: surprised by that. It feels like that's kind of a
• 51:52
  Speaker 6: recipe for disaster.
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but then rock.
• 51:54
  Speaker 6: Probably works similar with jelking as well. Yeah, and it
• 51:57
  Speaker 6: just stops working again. We've doubled in size in the
• 52:00
  Speaker 6: last month.
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: Rock Monov had huge hands famous.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: That's why Kawhi Leonard so good at piano.
• 52:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's rare in the thirteenth century.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's crazy.
• 52:13
  Speaker 6: Imagine I mean six six back then, they probably just
• 52:16
  Speaker 6: You're probably just people are probably just trying to kill
• 52:18
  Speaker 6: you all the time. Yeah, just trying to drink your
• 52:22
  Speaker 6: fucking witch.
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: Jesus Tyler.
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: Who is the guy the pianist who fucked up his
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: hands by trying to make them bigger anytime? Shuman? Yeah
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: there you go, Yeah, Shuman, it's really too bad. Great composer.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Oh really tiny little hands.
• 52:40
  Speaker 6: Though I had just switched to composing after he destroyed
• 52:43
  Speaker 6: his hands, I might be thinking of super maybe, Oh yeah,
• 52:46
  Speaker 6: he's got tiny little hands.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: The Asian ladies that would bind their feet, they would
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: suck it up in the kind of the inverse way
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: of that they try to have, like the cute little
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: tight feet, the way that I think, I guess Asian
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: men were like women of today. They just a tight
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: little foot like we the women, like a tight ball sack.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: Maybe it is just you wanted like a little speck
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: of a foot.
• 53:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah it's feminine, I guess, But I'm not a foot.
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: I wish I was a foot guy. Yeah, guys got
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: it made because people give it away for free by exactly.
• 53:14
  Speaker 5: The flip flops and open toe, barefoot, they're all they're
• 53:18
  Speaker 5: all out there.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, feet doesn't that That doesn't do it for me.
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: Nothing, nothing, I've stared at him. Come on, it's like
• 53:25
  Speaker 5: gay porn. Maybe something happened.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: It would just be so much more simple.
• 53:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah, if anything, it has the opposite effect, like the
• 53:34
  Speaker 6: it's more gross, same than anything else.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: I don't I'm not.
• 53:38
  Speaker 6: I just don't really want to see anyone's feet.
• 53:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I just I don't care.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: But there's some people, I mean Hollywood, you know, Jersey, Jerry,
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: Jersey Jerry. Yeah, there's a guy who worked for us
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: that got caught. But then he got foot fit, foot
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: fished and like a man put his foot under or
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: something and he like got horny from it. And it
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: was like just a dude's foot. It's like, oh you're
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: gay now, whow Yeah, who wounded up gay?
• 54:01
  Speaker 5: You think you'd see like the little Yeah, look.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: At those feet on the right. Those are the ones
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: that got him. That was like, oh, those are fucking
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: hot ass feet.
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: Those are big cats.
• 54:09
  Speaker 6: He shaved his head, he shaved his feet, big cat foot.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: I guess it's nice. Yeah, big toe looks a little.
• 54:17
  Speaker 5: Bit of ankle it on. That's a Fred Flintstone on
• 54:19
  Speaker 5: the left.
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: I totally forgot that Jerry did this.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: He got visibly horny on camera. He started salivating.
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: And then it's like, with the name of the shell.
• 54:36
  Speaker 5: That's right, that's right now. Is there a female body
• 54:40
  Speaker 5: part that you think is underrated? I like, you know,
• 54:43
  Speaker 5: I'm not talking tits, but even vagina.
• 54:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess I'm just into the standards.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: The middle, the small of the back, that's a good one.
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: I like the nape of the neck, the nape where
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: there's especially when they have their hair up and there's
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: just a little bit of sort of.
• 55:01
  Speaker 5: Fuzz statutory nape. I'm a shoulder clavical guy. This this
• 55:09
  Speaker 5: area right here on a woman really Oh it drives
• 55:11
  Speaker 5: me crazy.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but what if they're like ron ar tests like
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: broad like clavical like or is it any claviical we'll
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: do it for you.
• 55:19
  Speaker 5: Or just like a really nice it's like anything, there's
• 55:21
  Speaker 5: good claviicals and bad claviicals. Like uh, I saw a
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: woman the other day with that tube top thing where
• 55:26
  Speaker 5: it just ends right here and as tan kind of
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: tight muscular almost shoulder. It looked great.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 55:34
  Speaker 5: It was very hot.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: Nice clavial, good clov interesting collar bones, interesting collar daddy.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: There's some people that are that are super anti knee
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: that are like disgusted by knees. That's like a phobia,
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: or like they they're like they get the quote unquote
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: from knees, and I guess knees look pretty weird if.
• 55:55
  Speaker 5: You guess, yeah, I guess they do look kind of weird.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it would be a make or break
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: for me then yeah.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: Or if there's guys who are who love it, who
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: are like beating off to.
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: The the back of isn't it amazing how much an
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: ankle can can make or break a woman?
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: Though, No, it.
• 56:12
  Speaker 3: Sounds like that's your thing.
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: Or you're saying you hate a candle. That's what I'm saying,
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: you hate a candle. Yeah, but that's like I don't know.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: There's a sturdiness to a cankle true that you know,
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: kind of suggests that they could maybe have like fourteen
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: or fifteen kids, or walk from Venezuela or push off bike.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: There's something very respectable about a cankle.
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: You hate it, I just don't love the idea that
• 56:39
  Speaker 3: like if you cut their feet off, you could just
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: stick them into a lawn and they'd be there, like
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: protecting against pigeons or something.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: You want something fragile that can't really run away or
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: make cuts in the woods or anything like that.
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: Wow, I might prefer athletic, but yeah, sure all of
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: the above. You should do a show where you got it.
• 56:57
  Speaker 6: You get a bunch of people with gen what is
• 56:58
  Speaker 6: this genophobia pronounced phobiaphobia? Oh, and then just have all
• 57:02
  Speaker 6: the comics where shorts right, Yeah.
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: That's what like Maury turned into after a while. Maury
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: just like would bring out cats to people who had
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: like a cat phobia, and they would just sprint off. Yeah, Like,
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: why would you even go on Moury if that's the
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: thing that you know that you're advertising, you know that
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: they're gonna fuck with you.
• 57:23
  Speaker 6: I mean, this has to be pretty tough to even
• 57:24
  Speaker 6: live with, right, nausea or panic attacks at the sight
• 57:28
  Speaker 6: of the side of knees.
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: What if it turned out that this is what Harry had. Yeah,
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: and all this time he's been like, yeah, I just uh,
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: every time I have a meal, I don't know, I
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: get diarrhea. It's like, no, dude, you've just been around.
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: People with too much people's knees. Turns out it was
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: the knees that was getting me any phobias over here,
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: not a phobia, but my thing that would make me
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: sprint off the stage at Maury is when people rub
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: two pieces of styrofoam together, like, oh, that's a good one.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: Like gets me, like it like gets underneath my skin,
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: like I can't even compose myself when I hear it.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: It's fucking foul to me.
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: I got a weird thing with cars.
• 58:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, what, Yeah, it's tough inside or just seeing.
• 58:15
  Speaker 6: Being in I'm being in.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: In the right city, I guess. Yeah, a phobia of cars.
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: Does it bother you when you're driving them?
• 58:23
  Speaker 6: Ah No, not really, just like the passengers I have.
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: I have this too.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: I have this to phobia.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: I don't trust the person driving.
• 58:31
  Speaker 6: It, not even like that. I'm not like even afraid
• 58:33
  Speaker 6: of of crashing. I guess it's just being in call.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 58:36
  Speaker 6: I mean, I had a bunch of panic attacks and
• 58:38
  Speaker 6: cars when I was younger. What and then since then, Yeah,
• 58:41
  Speaker 6: since then, it's just been.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: Is it claustrophobia?
• 58:44
  Speaker 6: It might be like some sort of form of that.
• 58:47
  Speaker 6: It has something to do with being in the car
• 58:49
  Speaker 6: and not being able to get out of the car.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: Do you feel it when you're on a boat?
• 58:53
  Speaker 6: Like no, but like I I think that I'm going
• 58:59
  Speaker 6: to Like when we went on the Fish Week, I
• 59:00
  Speaker 6: was the whole time. I was like, it's gonna be
• 59:02
  Speaker 6: a fucking disaster, like moreak out. I just get like
• 59:07
  Speaker 6: I think I just have like a panic disorder. And
• 59:09
  Speaker 6: then I just like don't like being stuck right right,
• 59:13
  Speaker 6: like even like comedy, like being on stage, Like if
• 59:16
  Speaker 6: I have to do like fifteen minutes, I'm not nervous
• 59:18
  Speaker 6: at all, But when i have to do longer amount
• 59:19
  Speaker 6: of time, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be up there
• 59:21
  Speaker 6: for a while.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: WHOA Like traffic is horrible?
• 59:25
  Speaker 6: Like it honestly depends on the day because sometimes I'll
• 59:28
  Speaker 6: just be on my phone and I won't give a fuck.
• 59:29
  Speaker 6: But then other days I'll be in the back of
• 59:30
  Speaker 6: the car and I'll be like, I got to crack
• 59:32
  Speaker 6: the window, got it gasping for air.
• 59:35
  Speaker 5: I'd love to get you in you in the car
• 59:37
  Speaker 5: with Tiger Woods. Yeah, what happens road trip?
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: Do you have anything? Do you have anything that You're like,
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: this is a little bit weird.
• 59:46
  Speaker 5: But my only thing like weird. I'm not worried about cancer.
• 59:50
  Speaker 5: I ride without a helmet. I don't think about anything
• 59:52
  Speaker 5: but home invasion scares the shit out of me. I'm
• 59:57
  Speaker 5: in bed, like you ever wake up at like two am,
• 59:59
  Speaker 5: Like I'll do it a night and I'm high, and
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 5: I wake up and I'm like, what was that. I
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 5: heard something? I swear to god, I heard something. I
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 5: have a cat, so then my cattle walker the room,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 5: and I'm like, I have all these game plans like
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 5: you did where I'm like, all right, here's what I'll do.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 5: I'll keep a pipe over here, and then I'll keep
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: the thing over there, and I'll hit the guy with
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 5: a potted plant or whatever. I've out all these scenarios
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 5: in my head.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: Are you like that even in the city.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I live in Brooklyn. The first week we
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 5: moved into our apartment, I was like, because we have
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 5: two floors, I was like, this is it. It's gonna happen.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And oh my god.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 6: The city doesn't get me as bad as the Like
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 6: when I was growing up, I used to like mack
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 6: up my pants every night.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: I hate to say it, Mark, But you know I've
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: lived in you know, walk ups and whatever and moving
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 3: into a doorman building like that's pretty letely solved.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: That is good. And his place actually got broken into.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: Well he was asleep, no, but that was not when
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: I lived in a dorm.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a guy break into my apartment while
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: I was asleep and I confronted him, get the fuck
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: out of Yeah, I had to testify against him.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 5: WHOA I've been talking about bor Sean Lynch for half
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 5: an hour.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 5: I mean, like, how did you were you in your boxers?
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: I was naked? Wow?
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: Publish? Wow?
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 5: Were you tight knit on the balls?
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 8: Right?
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: I had a sliding bedroom door and I was a
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: small duplex, so they were like the bedroom in Chelsea, Chelsea,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: it was the garden apartment. The bedroom was downstairs in
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: like the living room kitchen were upstairs. And I was
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: in the bedroom, and then outside of my bedroom was
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: my bureau, like my dresser or whatever in the hallway.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: And I heard someone pulling the drawers of the bureau open.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 5: Oh my lord.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: And I woke up and out and you do that
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: thing where you're like, I must because ninety nine out
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 3: of one hundred times every other time in your life. Yeah,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: you're like, I'm just imagining it. And so you're like
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: and and and in those instances you're proving to yourself, yes,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: that you're imagining it. And then in this one, it
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 3: was like, this is really happening, and I'm trying to
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 3: prove does that make sense?
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, completely understand anyway.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 8: So.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: So I went quietly to the door and then listened
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 3: and I and then I like could really I was certain.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 3: I mean, the guy was four feet away.
• 1:02:27
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  Speaker 3: And so I didn't know what to do. Really, I mean,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: there was no lock on the door. It was a
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: sliding door, and so I opened it a crack and
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 3: saw him.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, what do you look like?
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: I have a photo of him. Yeah, I took a
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: picture of him. Fuck. I wonder if I can find
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: this at the time.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 6: You took a picture, Then you took a photo when
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 6: you found him outside.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: He know, he went upstairs. I here it is. I
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: found it perfect, amad it because it was right around
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: the time when I was growing the beard. So I
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: was already way back in my uh in my.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 5: Crazy A young Hispanic man.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well I don't know how young he was because
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: he died shortly after that. This story is crazy and
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: I know this.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: Can you send this a tyler too? We could black
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: out his face or something dead.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: But uh, well you did you know you can't defame
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: a dead person? What do you mean legally it is
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: not possible to commit defamation against how because how do
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: you what do you how do you think I know
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: about this writing the book the blog?
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, yes, no, that makes sense.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so you confronted him. I could do there.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: I had I remember decidedly keeping my my penis like
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: I was. It was like I was in the bathroom
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 3: asking somewhere for a towel, right right, you know. I
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 3: was like and I went, I went, what are you doing?
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: Whoa And the guy goes, oh, sorry, I'm lost. And
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 3: then I was like, you're in my apartment and it's
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: three in the morning, what the fuck are you doing?
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: And he goes, chill out, man.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: You're kind of just shot him. How does he know
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: you're not a psycho?
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: He he was like, so maybe he was fucked up or something.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it was. But he wasn't like, oh,
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: I've been caught. I need to run. Yeah.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, given the picture, He's like.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: In this picture he's finished. He goes, why are you
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 3: taking a picture of me? That's why he's saying that.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: That's what he's saying. Look and and and this one's blurry.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: But he's like, I'm having a conversation with him in
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: the hall because he all right, so he he I
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: had a door to the downstairs from the downstairs hallway
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 3: that was like the basement of the building, but then
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: it didn't have an exit to the out outside or
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 3: so he had to get in the elevator to go
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 3: up to the first floor to get out. So when
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: he went out of my door, I knew he was
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 3: going to get in the elevator, So then I like
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: threw some shorts on and then ran up the stairs
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: so that I could get a picture of him from
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 3: my front entrance as he stepped out of the elevator,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 3: and that's where I'm confronting him there, and I remember
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 3: taking the picture and he goes, why are you taking
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 3: a picture of me? And I was like, you're You
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 3: broke into my apartment at three in the morning, in
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: the middle of the night, and I was like, get
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 3: the fuck out of here, man, Like, what are you doing?
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 5: And you prepared to throw down because that he could have.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: Didn't you have a knife?
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: Were you looking around your room for something? Hard? I
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: thought you grabbed from your kitchen, so maybe I did.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 3: Honestly, I can't really remember if I like grabbed something.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 3: At this point, I'm sure I'm sure I did. And
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 3: I've told this story before, so you know, whatever the
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 3: truth was then remains the truth. But you start to
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: feel like you're lying, you know. But anyway, Gomez, and
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: then I called the cops, and you know, because I
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: lived in Chelsea, they were there in like three men,
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: which was like, oh, gentrified neighborhood, how nice. And so
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: many of them came. I mean they were like truly
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 3: and you're like, oh, there's nothing going on at the precinct, right, yeah,
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: And so like three of them came into my apartment.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 3: They knocked, and uh. First of all, two of them
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: knew who I was, and they were but they were
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: like nice about it. They're like I know who you
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: are and I'm like, oh, thank you and uh. And
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 3: then I told them what had happened, and then they
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: were like went outside and then they were on the radio.
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 3: And then they came back in and they're like, are
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: we found someone who matches your description, but we need
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: you to come look at him because he's in the
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: he's in the one of the cruisers, and we can't
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: tell you like what he looks like, which must have
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: been yeah. They was like they didn't want to be like,
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 3: is the guy you caught wearing this and this? Because
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: I told him what he was wearing. And I also
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: had a fucking photo of him exactly can. They were like,
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: you need to come confirm with your eyes without any
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: sort of prep who we've caught as the guy you saw.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: I walked out, the window was down, and he's in
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 3: the back of the car. He's got handcuffs on. I'm like, yeah,
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: this is the guy. And again he's like he's not
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: He's like annoyed.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, he definitely was on drugs.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: Definitely.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: He was like, what's the deal, Like, why are you
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: guys all making such a big deal out of this?
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: And by the way, I should mention another fact, which
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 3: is and it's probably why I wasn't really afraid, which
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 3: is that I'd seen this guy before. Oh So I
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 3: lived in like a building that had like seven apartments
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: and it was this like small converted townhouse where whatever.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: And one of the owners of the building also had
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 3: an apartment in the building. And this dude was super weird,
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: really really weird, Like what's that the owner? Yeah, one
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: of the owners. It was like a fan a family
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 3: of guys, and none of them really liked this dude,
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: but he had because he was in the family, like
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 3: he had part of the ownership and got one of
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: the apartments.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: And family of guys. Are you talking about a gay couple?
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 3: It was like, guys, you know, this Italian patriarchal family,
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: and it was like the nephews had shares in the
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 3: apartment project and and then like one of the cousins
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: was the super but he drove a Bentley. I mean,
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: it was crazy, like I never knew what was going on,
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: but I had seen them hanging out together before, because
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: the guy would always leave his fucking door open and
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: he would play organ like I'm not making any of
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 3: this haunting organ music on full blast. Whoa like a
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 3: weird hours of the night, and his door was open
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: and he lived on my floor. So and then one
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 3: time and I saw them coming out one time and
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 3: they like at that time, they were kind of nice
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 3: to me. They were like, oh, hey, you're the new guy. Yeah,
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 3: this is the dude. Then like six months later, I
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: find him in my apartment at four in the morning,
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: which is why when he was like I got lostble,
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: I was kind of like, oh, maybe he was just
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: lost and couldn't find his way out and whatever.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: Was going through the dresser though.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 3: Well then look for when I went to testify, you know,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: I had to go meet at the I had to
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 3: go to the District Attorney's office, which was weird because
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 3: I had been a paralegal there for a year when
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 3: I was like, very early on, like I'm not going
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: anywhere in comedy. I need to get serious in my life.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: So I was trying to go to law school and
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 3: this was the Street Crimes Division, which was exactly where
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 3: they were prosecuting this guy. And I had to meet
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 3: with one of the assistant the ADAS who was prosecuting
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 3: the case and tell her everything, and she he said
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: that the reason that he was opening drawers and what
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: they found because I also found that a number of
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 3: documents that I had up in my kitchen, which were
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: like credit card statements and things like that. He was
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 3: looking for documents to steal my identity or sell my identity.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 3: So that's what he was doing. Okay, that's a tough task.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 6: That's going and breaking into someone's home, being like I
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 6: got to find the social Security number right.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 3: Here it is, But it's also probably not as hard
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 3: as you'd think. You know, everyone had a lot of
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: people at home.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: He probably would have thrived.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 6: And yes, I don't I think they would take Like
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 6: if you were to go to my apartment.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: And be like, I got to find something that I'm.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 6: Gonna be able to steal his identity with. You'd be
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 6: tearing the place up for two hours. Yeah, it just
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 6: probably doesn't exist social security, Like my social Security cards
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 6: got to be at the bottom of a box.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 3: But is that the only thing in your apartment that
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: has your social Security number on it?
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 5: Maybe it's a mail a Banks.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. Like, this guy was trying to
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 3: find lots of papers, Yeah, and he could whatever, So
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: ho'd he die? I only found that out after the fact.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 3: The district attorney, the woman, The funniest thing that happened
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 3: was that finally she I haven't been trying to be funny.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to tell us as fast as possible.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 3: The funniest thing, the one funny thing that had happened
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: in my story, is that I was at barstool at
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: the time and she was like, look, by the way,
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 3: I've become aware that you've told this story now on
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 3: your radio show, that you have written a blog about it,
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 3: and you've been tweeting about it, and it's getting very
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 3: hard to paint you as a victim in this case.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 3: Oh shit, given how much light you are making of it.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: With that said, though, it's what I've seen has been
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 3: very funny, and I was like, you should have started
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 3: with that, because it's easier for me to accept criticism
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 3: when it's couched in praise.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: WHOA.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 3: But then I had to testify in front of the
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 3: grand jury. You know, went in like dressed up for it,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 3: and then you know, you're in front of like I
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 3: don't know, thirty or forty people or whatever. Yeah, and
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: they're just asking you questions to determine if there's enough
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 3: evidence to prosecute the case. But what I found out
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: after that, because I don't think the case went to trial,
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: was that this dude had actually been an informant for
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 3: presumably the DA's office or something what what, and had
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 3: been informing and like helping them out and was killed
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 3: because I think he was was found out he was
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 3: found out to have been an informant.
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 6: Oh my god, that's crazy.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 3: And the d's office told me, yeah, you're.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: Trying to get out from under the case of like
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: stealing your identity, and he's like, here, I'll work with
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: you guys. Again.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 3: It's one of those weird killed him where I'm like, if.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: You weld just let the guy walk away with his
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: family today, you had to fucking be a hero. Paul
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: nine one one.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 3: Still, to this day, I'm not one hundred percent sure
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 3: that he was actually doing anything wrong. Oh yeah, drawer
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 3: in the morning, I know, it's it's it's certainly I
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 3: don't feel bad about calling the police and doing what
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 3: I did, but like, given that he was an informant,
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: given that he knew the guy and was probably like
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: partying with him and fucked up, and then like there
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: was a way for him to not know how to
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 3: get out. But yeah, the drawer thing made no fucking sense. Yeah,
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: and the papers and whatever. Anyway, I do think he
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 3: was fucked up. Yeah, definitely. You guys know me. You
• 1:14:31
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  Speaker 5: So I got robbed in the West Village.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 3: I'll be short, I'm not Brevity is not the soul
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 3: of my way.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 5: I was out doing spots and my girlfriend at the time.
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 5: She said, I'm out at a dinner with some friends.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 5: I'm right by your house. Can I We weren't dating
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 5: that long, we didn't live together. She's like, can I
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 5: just go to your house? And I was like, yeah, sure.
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 5: So she goes to my house. She's like, your door's
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 5: wide open and there's a bunch of furniture knocked over,
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 5: and I was like, ash shit, all right. So I
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 5: ran home and I get there. She's drunk out of
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 5: her mind. She was at a party or something, and
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 5: she's like, this is crazy. I think somebody broke in.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 5: And then she just falls asleep on the couch. I'm like, okay,
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 5: So I go in the bedroom. My bedroom window is
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 5: opened up on the fire escape, and I see footprints
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 5: on the bed. So You're like, oh my god, it's
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 5: just so violating. TV's there, laptop's there, everything's there, iPod everything.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 5: There was one drawer that I had an a dresser
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 5: that I kept all my spot paying like I would
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 5: go do the cellar, I'd go to the stand New
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 5: York Cut and I would just throw twenty five bucks
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 5: in one hundred bucks at whatever. It was probably like
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 5: eight grand accumulated money. I had mushrooms weed in there.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 5: I had a sling shot, brass knuckles, baseball car. It
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 5: was like a cool guy drawer like you were a kid.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 5: I had condoms and whatever. And he took everything out
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 5: of the drawer and just bolted.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: What How did he know that drawer was there or
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: it was just like typical top drawer.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 5: It was the first dresser when you walk in. I
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 5: just I think you opened that. He was like great
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 5: cash drugs.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so he put it here for me.
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Ken Griffy Jr.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 1: I'm out of here, like cartoon breaking? Is this so
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: that he flipped all the furniture and left footprints behind
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: and went out the window.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 5: Well, fuck, I guess I should flip. He was like
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 5: tiptoeing out with the burglar mask on. I shouldn't say
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 5: he flipped all the furniture. I had a coffee table
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 5: like this and a chair, and he put the chair.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 5: He flipped it in front of the door, like in
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 5: case somebody came in.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 5: I don't know what the hell he was thinking, but
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 5: she said, your door was unlocked.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: There was a chair.
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 5: When I opened the door, there's a chair in front
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 5: of it. So I guess he thought that would do something.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 5: And then I think he moved the top coffee table,
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 5: like just get this out of my way, and.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: You called the cops, or call the cops, and they caught.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 5: Him the anger print. Oh, apparently he broke it into
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 5: a ton of places. They've been looking for him.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 5: But I had a way worse experience than you, because
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 5: first of all, the cops come in. I got a
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 5: passed out gal like a cocktail dress, and I'm like, oh,
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 5: this is weird. I was like, I have a ton
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 5: of cash and drugs here all that he's still here.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 5: So then they go out to like check me out.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 5: So they go out to the car, check me out,
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 5: and they google me, and I guess my clips came
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 5: up and they were not into it. They came back
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 5: they're like, oh, some kind of comedian.
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 1: Huh. We didn't care for it. I'm like okay.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 5: And then then they called me like a week later
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 5: and they found the guy. Did they recover and this
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 5: touff it was cash and drug so you can't really
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 5: claim it. I could just make up any number. I'd
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 5: be like, I told ten grand.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 3: And then presumably if you were to like go through
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 3: what Renter's insurance or something like that. Would that have
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 3: covered it?
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 5: No, I don't think so. I don't even have insurance.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: Damn. Is that why you're scared because of that experience
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: or you were already scared? And what is Francis's story?
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 3: Like?
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: Does that scare you.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 5: Get out of me? I got broken into a lot
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 5: as a kid, and I walked in on a couple
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 5: robberies and my parents got held up a gunpoint. Yeah.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 5: I wish Jesus was know. I didn't get the toughness
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 5: out of it. I got the scared out of it.
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 5: So I think that fucked met. I think that's why
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 5: I was a bedwinter. I had a lot of trauma.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, that reminds me of my favorite joke I
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 3: ever saw you tell, which was on the Tonight Show
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 3: when you were like, uh, it must just be a
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 3: cup of piss.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah. It went the bet at the friend's
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 5: house and he was like, what the hell happened? I
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 5: was like, I spilled a cup of piss. I had
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 5: to fight for piss. They want to say piss is funnier, dirty.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 1: That's crazy, it's sanitary talking about it sterile.
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 3: I think you can see Fallen like shaking with laughter too.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 3: In the background, he's like a shadow.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, those are fun times. I'll let you do a
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 5: late night show and two people see it.
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, is that just cooked?
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 8: Now?
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: Going on late night shows.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 5: You get the credit, I guess out of it, like
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 5: I can say it was on Jimmy Fallon, but no
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 5: one's gonna see it. The clip of the show will
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 5: do better than the show.
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just like the still photo of you having done it.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 6: I remember, like Ian Laura telling me that, like like
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 6: occasionally after he'll do like Fallen, he'll just get like
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 6: an email from someone, like people will like email him
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 6: and be like really loved to set.
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like that's it.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 5: One of the good thing is it's clean, so you
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 5: get like a corporate gig out of it, maybe like yeah, yeah, Fellon,
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 5: we'd love to hire you for an hour, and you're like,
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 5: I can't do a clean hour.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, at a corporate gig sounds like.
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 5: Hell, oh I've done I just did one last weekend.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 5: They pay is incredible, but they're always always shit.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 3: I've been doing a lot of member guest golf tournaments.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 3: Not easy.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: Not easy. You're working out there.
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 3: Outdoors, cigars, men's mouths full of cigar. He's laughing around.
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 5: Us, just counting the minutes.
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I mean.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: The one that they had you do.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 6: It's like the timing also, it's like they were they
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 6: wanted you to do it before, like the kickoff of
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 6: the member gat.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's always on the opening night. So there's been
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 3: like a practice round and then like everyone's saying hi,
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 3: people been flying in. Yeah, they've all seen each other
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 3: in years, and like they're catching up. And then some
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 3: guys like, you know, hey, by the way, everyone gathered around,
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 3: we got a comedian, please walk, And you're like, no, hope,
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 3: no host, no opener, horrible acoustics, Mike doesn't work every time,
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 3: just and people are like, who, who the fuck? I
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 3: don't know this guy. I want to go back to
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 3: drinking my friends that I spent, you know, grew up with.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: When you do it as often like a brand or
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: like a company that you can tailor some material to,
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: or you just like, let me just do what I
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 1: fucking do.
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 5: I just did one for a steel company. It was
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 5: like a steal Pittsburgh Steel Company.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: Oh so you're getting paid that. They must be crazy money.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 5: Then it's all a bunch of like steel guys, like
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 5: iron bearing guys. So they were they were actually cool,
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 5: but the only real laughs I got was like googled
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 5: the dude who owned the company, and it's just I
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 5: don't give too much away. I I get in trouble.
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 5: It's a big german guy. So I was like, all right,
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 5: steel German. So I went out there and I was like,
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 5: this guy is fucking what a Nazi. You probably built
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 5: the concentration camps, all that steel, and probably did the railroad.
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 5: They were like, You're like, so I gotta I gotta
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 5: marry and they're like what their ship? They wanted you
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 5: to fuck with their people, but they don't hear your stuff.
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 5: That's corporate for you.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: Didn't you do one?
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 3: I feel like I saw a clip of you're talking about.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: Doing one where like you were.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 6: They gave you like a list of things to say.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, and they were like but then they were like,
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 6: what the fuck are you doing?
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 5: I did want in Toronto great money again, and the
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 5: guy met me outside. He's like, I'm a huge fan.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 1: You gotta do this joke. I love this joke.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 5: And I was like, oh, this is gonna be great.
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 5: This guy loves my stuff. He's he's quoting jokes. I
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 5: got this. This is gonna be a cake walk. And
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 5: I go upstairs. It's all these rich guys in suits
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 5: at like a fancy restaurant, horrible mike ere you know, feedback,
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 5: and I'm bombing. I'm bombing, and the guys in the
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 5: front road Going'm like come on. So I'm like, oh,
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 5: I'll do the jokes he picked, and those jokes bomb.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 5: At one point he looks up at.
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 3: Me and goes.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm doing comedy. This is that's what
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 1: you asked for, you one of these.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 5: But he actually he's like blowing doing something. I'm like,
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 5: this is what stand up is. Oh my god, it's
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 5: just not working. I came what are you doing?
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 3: See, I did one in Vegas. It was for a
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 3: like a hedge fund, and the whole they had they
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 3: were doing a corporate retreat and at lunch they had
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 3: a keynote speaker who was Alex Honald from Free Solo.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 3: Oh that guy, he's unbelievable.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 8: Wow.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 3: He came out and did this whole PowerPoint presentation or
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: like slides and stuff. Clearly he tours this in a
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 3: corporate environment when he needs a paycheck, and like it
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 3: was so seamless, and he was tying in like you know,
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 3: business and like professional themes to like his ascent of
• 1:24:41
  Speaker 3: l cap and like being like you know, trying to
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 3: like teach, and like it was funny and cool and
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 3: daring and all this, and then everyone filed into this
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 3: like small theater that had a huge stage that was
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 3: way above everyone, and I went up no opener forty
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 3: five minutes and then the CEO of the first came
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 3: on and apologized.
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 5: Oh, no, fort is too long, so anybody you can
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 5: have a fucking cat Williams up there.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what did he say? What was the apology?
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 3: He was like, hey, everybody, obviously we didn't really know
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 3: what we were getting ourselves into.
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 5: There no no side stage.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I hadn't gotten paid yet.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 5: The only thing worse than bombing on those is being
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 5: you know, insulted like that got a double whammy.
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: It's his fat. I mean, why do they continue to
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: book comics if I've only ever heard stories about it
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 1: going poorly.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 5: I think I'm one of this too. I think in
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 5: their mind they're picturing like, I'll book this guy everybody's
• 1:25:41
  Speaker 5: gonna be howling, laughing and high fiving each other. We're
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 5: have a great night, but it just never turns out
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 5: that way. You've got hr in the room, does it
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 5: work for me?
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 3: It's that they see me at a comedy club. They've
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 3: had a great time there, and they think that that
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 3: environment will translate to their work. Like I want to
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 3: bring my peace people into this. It's like, well, then
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 3: bring them to the comedy club.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, why not.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 3: Put on a even that doesn't work though, and like
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 3: a multiple acts, you can, you can try to express that,
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 3: but then you know they just don't get. My attitude
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 3: is these are not going to go well no matter what.
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 3: So I just want to get in, rip the band
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 3: aid off, get paid, and get the fuck home.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, my my worst one. I did a show at
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 5: the seller went well, this guy goes, I'm a big
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 5: fan of your I like how you you're you're dark?
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 5: You say crazy shit. I want you to do my
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 5: hedge fund, roast my hedge fund, and I was like, okay,
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 5: paid a lot of money. It was up in Westchester,
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 5: took the Metro north up.
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 1: I get there.
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 5: It's at a golf course with like Ferrari you know,
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 5: Lamborghini in the crowd. Bentley. I was like, oh my god,
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 5: this is a big deal. I go in and he
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 5: gave me like a cheat sheet of all these crazy
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 5: zings on people, like like this guy cheats on his wife,
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 5: this guy's a coked, this guy's actually gay, this guy's whatever.
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 5: And so I was like, Oh, this is gonna be great.
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 5: I gotta like I got it all written for me.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 5: So the guy goes up slick hair, suit, cigar, and
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 5: he's like, all right, I saw this guy in a
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 5: comedy club. He's fucking hilarious. He's gonna roast us. It's
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 5: gonna be great. And everybody's like who all right. It's
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 5: a big ballroom, round tables, everybody's with their family. This
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 5: kid's there, and I go up and I'm like, hey,
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 5: so is that Bob in accounting? And everybody's like, hey Bob,
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 5: Bob doing this shit, you know, And I'm like, we
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 5: all know you're actually gay. And his wife's like.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 8: I do it.
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: That boss.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 5: I was like, hey, Rob, we all know you're doing
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 5: blowing the brain and he's like two cops come in,
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 5: they arrest Rob.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 8: You know.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 5: It was just like every horrible thing and I was like,
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 5: get this guy cheats on his wife. His wife's there.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 5: All was horrible. And that was like six minutes in.
• 1:27:48
  Speaker 5: So I see the guy in the back like, oh no,
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 5: what the fuck are you doing. I'm like, you gave
• 1:27:53
  Speaker 5: me this dirt, pulled this out of my ass, and
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 5: then I started trying to go into my act. I'm like,
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 5: cereals weird, what's up with that?
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 1: And they hated me.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 5: So I think I did probably like sixteen minutes and
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 5: got the hell out of there.
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 1: You just caught it on yourself. You just pulled your
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: pulled your own leash.
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 5: No, the guy was like, kind of do it, let's go,
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 5: let's wrap it up.
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: It's not working.
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 5: But they always act like it's your fault. And I'm like,
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 5: you booked me and you gave me these notes, so.
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate to do it. I have to jump out.
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, right, you're good brother. Yeah you gonna You're
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 5: gonna be all right.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 3: Probably not. Oh no, it was worth it. This was
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 3: really fun.
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: I really ah.
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 5: I feel it was a LaGuardia.
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, we can get you there.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 3: I'll be all right, Well they'll be fine.
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: We'll bang you for coming in, bro, you're the man.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you got anything? You want to promote it all.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 5: Watch watch my special on Netflix. We might be Drug
• 1:28:44
  Speaker 5: Tuesdays Stories, and I'll see you on the road.
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 1: Thanks for having me.
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 3: Thanks Mark, that was awesome.
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 8: You're the man. No,