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What happens when a narcissist sees you happy with someone else · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So how do narcissists feel or what happens when they see you
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  happy with someone else or or when they hear that you're happy
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  with someone else? Like what goes on in their mind?
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  How do they act? What did they do?
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  That's what we're talking about today, y'all.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist. Here to give you the perspective
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  of a narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. You know what, I just realized I
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  say the word narcissist a lot at the beginning of the video.
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  I was just like, how do narcissists feel?
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  How do nurses act This we're talking about today narcissist.
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  I'm a narcissist mind of a nurses narcissist narcissist.
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  Narcissist sound like like damn candy man.
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  You remember say if you look in the mirror and say candy man
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  three times he hops out. Same thing happened with
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  narcissist. You say narcissist 3 times in
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  the mirror. You go and get one chasing you.
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  You go, you go to you go to attract the one.
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  I promise you I can promise you that you go to attract 1 even if
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  if even if that's not your intent.
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  But how do narcissist act or what happens when they when they
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  see you happy with someone else? So this could go a few different
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  ways. And I know, I think people are
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  going to understand that this can go a few different ways
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  because no, no two narcissists are the same.
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  I think that goes, I think, notice I said think, I think
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  that goes without saying that No2 narcissists are the same.
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  So some narcissistic people when they see how you happy with
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  someone else, they're going to some of them are not going to
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  care. Let's be let's be real.
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  There's the the small, very small percentage that some of
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  them will not care because they're so entitled.
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  They're so their egos are so big that they think you downgraded.
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  No matter what happens. You can look that that your
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  narcissistic ex could be the bummiest of bums and you move on
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  to the most successful, handsome, beautiful, rich,
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  powerful person in the world and they'll be like, you got my
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  sloppy seconds. I'm better than you in some way.
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  They won't care, right 'cause their egos are the delusional
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  ego of narcissists tends to provide this weird shield or
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  this weird cover for them and won't, it won't allow them to
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  see the truth of what they're actually doing and what they're
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  actually experiencing or what is actually going on.
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  And you know what I mean? So that's a that becomes a big
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  part of what happens or what goes on.
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  Like some of them will not care, right?
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  I don't. I don't make the rules y'all.
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  I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.
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  I know people like Lady made my heart drop when you say some of
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  them might not care. Some of you may die, but that's
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  a chance I'm willing to take. Lord Farquhar strike one.
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  But this that happens some of them will not carry out.
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  And it doesn't mean that they you didn't matter to them.
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  It just means that their egos are too big too too huge, too
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  blocking out the damn their egos block out the sun.
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  It's like a damn narcissistic eclipse.
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  Like the sun goes out with narcissists around you.
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  You ever seen what's that movie? I think it was white chicks with
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  Terry Crews walked into the sun and he's like, hey, what
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  happened to the sun? He's like, hey, white chocolate,
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  that type of stuff right there. That's what happens with
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  narcissists come into your life. They block out the sun, they
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  eclipse you. But that's a piece of what goes.
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  Oh yeah, I'm serious. A lot of narcissistic people,
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  like they will not care. But on the flip side, some of
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  them will care. Some of them will absolutely
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  care. And I know y'all like, Yep,
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  that's what we want to hear Lee, 'cause we want to know that we
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  matter. I get that right?
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  But some of them will care because they and lose their
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  minds, right? Some of them will absolutely
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  care. And because they care so much,
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  they will lose their ever loving minds.
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  They will, they absolutely will. They're rooting dude in my
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  because they think they think that you still belong to them.
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  They think there's still some type of ownership dynamic going
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  on there, right? They think that so much is going
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  on here in this space that they will you, they, they cannot
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  relinquish their, their ownership rights over you.
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  So some of them will lose their minds.
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  I'll say this right here though, it does depend on how they see
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  you or where they see you or even if even if they see you at
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  all. Sometimes it can be word of
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  mouth like some of your friends or a flying monkey might go back
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  to them. Like the flying monkey might
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  flap their little flying monkey wings and go back to the
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  narcissistic person and tell them that they tell them.
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  Tell the narcissist that they saw you happy with someone else.
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  Like I saw your ex skipping down brought skipping down Main
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  Street with a new Boo and and y'all in different cities, y'all
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  in different parts of the world. They might care and it might
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  ruin their damn day. It very well.
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  It might ruin their whole entire day when you if they if they see
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  you happy with someone else or they find out you're happy with
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  someone else. But I'll hear it.
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  This can go a few different ways.
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  Y'all, if they see you in public happy with someone else,
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  sometimes, sometimes they can absolutely have a visceral
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  reaction. They can lose their damn minds.
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  They absolutely can. Sometimes they can and will lose
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  their damn minds. Like I've heard stories before.
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  People have messaged me before. Like Lee, you're not going to
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  believe this happened. Like I was walking down and this
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  happened in California. I was walking down somewhere.
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  I'm California ignorant y'all. I was walking down this place.
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  You know what happened? My ex saw me with my new person
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  and he fought my new partner. Even though it's been a year,
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  we've been a year no contact. I haven't seen this person,
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  haven't talked to this person. I blocked him everywhere.
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  So they might have been trying to reach out to me.
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  They saw me and my new person downtown LA and they beat my I
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  don't really say she beat him up.
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  They got to a fight, they got into a fight and a new boot in
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  there breaking up with her. It's like he was like, look, I
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  can't deal with this. If you had crazy ass exes out
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  there like that, they'll try to fight me on site.
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  They don't nobody ever spoke to me and they just like literally
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  squared up and hit him like swing on them.
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  Like soon as they didn't the dude didn't even know what's
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  coming. They walking down the street.
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  The girl knew she saw her ex and the ex was like bow hit the
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  dude. Dude recovering.
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  I guess he got some good licks in or whatever, but he broke up
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  and he's like, man, hell, now you exes out here that's crazy
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  like that. No, I can't do it.
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  So she lost her new relationship because her ex was unhappy with
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  her ex, lost his damn mind because she was out there happy
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  with someone else. That can't happen because if
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  they see you in public happy with someone else and they're by
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  themselves. Yeah, they could try to make a
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  scene. They absolutely could.
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  They could try to make a scene now sometimes, right If y'all
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  walking, if you're walking down the street with your new Boo, or
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  you would see that your favorite restaurant in Paris having some
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  kombucha, having a a nice cup of kombucha and your narcissistic
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  ex sees you. They might skedaddle across the
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  street. They might not say something to
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  you. Some, yeah, some narcissists are
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  passive aggressive cowards. They'll just godaddle.
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  They won't say anything to you. It will affect them.
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  They will be sad, they'll be angry, they'll be hurt.
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  Their their their hearts will drop into the bottom of their
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  stomachs. But they will absolutely.
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  Their hearts may drop to the bottom of their stomachs, but
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  they might not say anything to you at all.
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  They might just disappear into the into the wilderness.
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  Wilderness. They might just disappear.
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  You never heard from them again. That could happen.
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  That's a possibility of what could happen as well, right?
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  So yeah, they could absolutely lose their damn minds and try to
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  fight you. And for some of them will just
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  get out all across the street. Other times, if they see you on
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  Facebook or Instagram, post it up with your new person, post it
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  up with your with your next, with somebody who's making you
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  actually happy. You're genuinely happy after
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  this abusive, toxic relationship.
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  Sometimes guess what happens, y'all?
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  I'm guess what? Guess what I'm going to say
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  right here. Did you guess?
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  OK? Sometimes they'll try to Hoover
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  you. They might not say anything to
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  you in public. If they see you online or in
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  public or whatever. Happy with somebody else.
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  Sometimes that could trigger a Hoover.
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  They might actually starve to try to Hoover you or get back
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  into your life in some way, shape or form.
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  That could absolutely happen. It could.
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  It really got it really could. It really could happen.
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  They could absolutely start losing their damn minds when you
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  and try to Hoover you back in after all of this has happened.
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  They could try to Hoover you back in like regardless, like
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  they'll start messaging you or calling you or texting you,
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  popping up at your house, popping up at your job, sending
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  you stuff to your work, whatever.
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  They might try to, if they see you happy with someone else,
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  they might start to try to Hoover you back in.
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  It will lead. That would never work.
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  It does work. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
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  This is not me picking on anybody that this has worked on,
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  but it it has worked before. They see you happy with someone
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  else and then all of a sudden they start trying to Hoover you.
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  They start telling you what you want to hear.
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  They start telling you the things that you, they start
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  telling you that they've been doing the things that you always
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  wanted them to do. Like that's what happens.
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  And then guess what? Some of y'all are still trauma
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  bonding to them. Have it healed and then you
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  leave your new relationship and go back to this toxic ass
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  bastard. And guess what happens?
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  You sooner or later they're toxic ass bastard reveals their
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  true character that they really haven't changed and that you
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  realize you lost a good person to go back to your toxic ass ex.
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  And I've had yeah, I still do my one on ones over zoom, right.
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  I still do my one on ones over zoom mental illness.net for
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  those. And this is like, say, I've done
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  so many one on ones over Zoom with people that have, that this
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  has actually happened to. They've left their new partners
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  or they start cheating on their new partners with their toxic
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  narcissistic ex. And then guess what happens?
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  They ruin their new relationships by leaving or
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  cheating and getting caught. And then guess what?
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  They lose a good person. And then the narcissistic ex
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  just goes back to doing what what led to the breakup in the
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  1st place. They go back proving the point
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  that nothing has changed. And it it leaves you, the press
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  that leaves the person who left their new relationship for their
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  old toxic, abusive ex. The press because the new person
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  not going to take you back. They're trying to, well, I
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  believe the new person, they wouldn't take me back.
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  Like, why wouldn't they take you back?
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  You left them for somebody else. Why wouldn't they take you back?
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  They're not going to trust you. They're not going to trust you.
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  You see what I'm saying? So sometimes they might actually
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  start to try to Hoover you after this has went down, after this
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  has happened. They might try to suck you back
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  into the relationship dynamic because of this stuff, because
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  of what's going on, right? So don't, like I said, because
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  they see you happy with someone else.
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  They don't want your happiness. They could just when they see or
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  hear that you're happy with someone else, guess what
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  happened? Sometimes they'll just send you
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  a nice little message and just say got good.
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  Good to see you happy. I always wanted the best for
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  you. I always wanted the best for
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  you. Sucks that it could.
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  Sucks that it couldn't have been us.
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  Sucks that it's not me making you happy, but I've always
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  wanted you to be happy. By the way, I want to get my
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  hair cut. By the way, I'm stopped beating.
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  I stopped beating women. By the way, I stopped having
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  babies with other people. By the way, I'm in therapy.
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  By the way, I've been went back to school.
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  By the way, I started working. By the way, I started twerking.
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  You see what I'm saying? Twerking.
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  Ignore the twerking part. Y'all just got carried away.
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  I got carried away. You got to do it.
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  But yeah, by the way, so does this work on a lot of people?
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  Yeah. Yeah, I'm, I'm just telling you,
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  it absolutely does work. And people do go back into the
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  toxicity because they miss the person, the person tricks them
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  coming back and you ruin your life.
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  And then you end up sad as hell because it happened, because now
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  you're mad as hell, because now you're pissed off that you gave
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  this person another chance when they didn't deserve another
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  chance. I've seen this happen time and
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  time again. So if you're happy with someone
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  else and your narcissistic ex tries to Hoover you, do not fall
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  for the Hoover. I don't give a damn what they
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  say, how many changes they've made, even if you have kids with
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  them. If you're happy with someone
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  else and this new person is treating your kids well, don't
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  leave your new good person for a toxic abusive ex to keep the
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  family together. Whatever you know, don't do that
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  because you end up ruining your life.
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  Your kids can be sad as hell. They'll be happy, they might.
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  They may be happy for a little while to get back with your ex.
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  But then when you break up again, you just reach out
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  without the kids. I get it, I really do get it.
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  But sometimes they try to hoof you.
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  Sometimes they get pissed off. You're not with them for a
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  reason, right? You're absolutely, positively
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  not with them for a reason. So it's understand y'all, it is
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  healing season. When I say it's healing season,
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  I mean that it is healing season.
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  It's time to heal. It's time to grow.
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  It's time to progress forward because that's what we're doing
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  from this point, this this point on.
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  We're not allowing toxic narcissistic exes to dictate our
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  future when we are happy with someone else.
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  Even if you're not happy with someone else, even if you're
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  happy by yourself, don't let them dictate your future.
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  Don't let loneliness or the fear of missing out on your old
• 13:13
  partner ruin your new relationship or ruin your
• 13:15
  future. Anyways y'all thank y'all for
• 13:19
  vibe with me. Y'all hit the subscribe button
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  if you haven't already. Again check out mental
• 13:23
  illness.net Scroll is on the bottom of the screen for
• 13:26
  everything. Lee Hammock my one on ones my
• 13:27
  coaching my my courses are still available as well y'all.
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  The courses are helping a lot of people.
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  Thank you for taking the course. I really appreciate every single
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  one of y'all and check out joining the support group as
• 13:50
  well Y'all this is out. Peace.
• 13:53
  Before you leave make sure to hit that subscribe button if you
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  haven't. It just helps us reach more
• 13:57
  people. Also everything I have is
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  available at mentalillness.net, my coaching, my courses.
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  I have a couple of courses that can help you understand and help
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  you heal and also have a support group all available at
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  mentalillness.net. Check my site off everything
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  y'all and I will see y'all later.
• 14:12
  Peace.