Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Pimpin' Pain: Stop Renting Space to Yesterday

Transcript

Pimpin' Pain: Stop Renting Space to Yesterday · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
• 0:06
  learning and living your full experience.
• 0:11
  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is your Fearless Friday episode, Pimpin' Pain.
• 0:17
  Pimpin' Pain.
• 0:19
  I know. The title alone probably made some of y'all clutch your pearls. Good.
• 0:26
  Because somebody needs to hear this. Stop pimping your pain.
• 0:31
  I said what I said. And for the people in the back, stop pimping your pain. Grow up.
• 0:38
  Now, before somebody says, Coach C, are you telling me to ignore my pain?
• 0:43
  Absolutely not. Pain is real.
• 0:47
  Trauma is real. Grief is real.
• 0:51
  Betrayal is real. Abuse is real.
• 0:56
  Disappointment is real. I'm not minimizing any of it.
• 1:01
  I'm talking about what happens when the pain that happened to you starts becoming
• 1:07
  the identity you introduce yourself with.
• 1:11
  Somewhere along the journey, we stopped carrying our pain and started marketing it.
• 1:17
  We rehearse the story so often that we can tell it without feeling a thing.
• 1:23
  We know exactly where to pause, exactly where people will gasp,
• 1:28
  exactly where they'll say, girl, man, I can't believe that happened to you.
• 1:34
  And slowly, our pain becomes our personality, our biography,
• 1:40
  our conversation starter, our excuse, our comfort zone.
• 1:45
  We've told the story so many times that we've accidentally given it permanent residency in our lives.
• 1:53
  Here's today's real talk. Healing doesn't mean pretending it never happened.
• 1:59
  It means refusing to let what happened become all that's happening.
• 2:05
  Some of us have become so entitled to our pain that we expect everybody else to carry it too.
• 2:12
  We expect people to excuse our attitude because of what happened.
• 2:17
  Excuse our inconsistency because of what happened.
• 2:22
  Excuse our bitterness because of what happened.
• 2:27
  Excuse our unwillingness to trust because of what happened.
• 2:32
  Listen, pain explains behavior. It does not excuse staying there forever.
• 2:40
  At some point, the pain stopped happening to you and started happening through
• 2:46
  you. Let me say that again.
• 2:49
  The pain stopped happening to you and started happening through you.
• 2:56
  Because when we don't heal, every new relationship pays for an old relationship.
• 3:03
  Every new opportunity pays for an old disappointment.
• 3:09
  Every new friend pays for an old betrayal.
• 3:13
  People who never wounded us end up bleeding because we never closed our own wounds.
• 3:20
  That's too expensive.
• 3:22
  And here's the danger. Paying gets attention.
• 3:26
  People check on you, comfort you, encourage you, wrap their arms around you.
• 3:33
  There's nothing wrong with receiving support.
• 3:37
  But eventually you have to ask yourself am I healing,
• 3:42
  or have I become comfortable being known for my wounds,
• 3:48
  because healing is uncomfortable healing asks hard questions healing requires accountability
• 3:56
  healing means letting go of the
• 3:58
  one thing you carried for so long that you forgot who you were without it.
• 4:04
  And that's scary, but it's necessary. You weren't created to become a museum of your worst moments.
• 4:11
  You were created to become evidence that healing is possible.
• 4:17
  So tell the story if it helps somebody, but don't keep living in it. Visit it. Learn from it.
• 4:25
  Honor what it taught you, then locked the door behind you, because your future
• 4:30
  deserves a version of you that is not constantly renting space to yesterday.
• 4:37
  Here's your fearless homework. This week, identify one pain story you've been replaying.
• 4:44
  Ask yourself, what story do I tell most often about what happened to me?
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  How has it shaped the way I see myself?
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  Is this story helping me heal or helping me stay stuck?
• 4:58
  If my pain wasn't my identity, who would I become?
• 5:04
  Then do something different. Instead of telling someone what hurt you,
• 5:08
  tell them what you're building.
• 5:11
  Instead of rehearsing the wound, celebrate one sign of healing.
• 5:16
  Instead of introducing yourself through your scars, introduce yourself through your growth.
• 5:22
  Let your future have the microphone for once.
• 5:26
  Here's what I know. Your pain deserves to be acknowledged. It deserves compassion.
• 5:33
  It deserves care. But it does not deserve permanent ownership of your identity.
• 5:39
  You are more than what broke you. More than who left you.
• 5:44
  More than what failed. More than your diagnosis. More than your disappointment.
• 5:52
  The pain may have shaped you, but it doesn't get to name you.
• 5:56
  So stop letting yesterday collect royalties on today's life.
• 6:01
  Your story is not over and your healing deserves top billing.
• 6:08
  This is real talk because your greatest testimony won't be what hurt you.
• 6:14
  It will be who you will become after you decided your pain no longer is your paycheck.
• 6:21
  Keep learning keep living this is real talk where everyone is always learning
• 6:29
  and living your full experience make sure you're following me on instagram and facebook
• 6:35
  at real talk for real life that's l-y-f-e for more inspiration merchandise and
• 6:42
  motivation between episodes,
• 6:45
  this is coach c i'll see you in the next one.