Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose …the 'Granny Lane' with Julie Benz

Transcript

I Choose …the 'Granny Lane' with Julie Benz · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi, everyone,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is about choices
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: and how our choices shape who we are today. I
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: love sitting down with inspiring guests and talking about what
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: it really means to put yourself first. You probably know
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: my guest from shows like Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Dexter,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: and Defiance, and today we are going to talk about
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: real life, about resilience, reinvention, and what choosing yourself really
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: looks like. Please welcome actress, advocate and all around amazing
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: woman Julie Ben's to the podcast. Okay, wait, how do
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: we know each other? To start with? Was our first
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: meet like actual meat at a convention?
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought so, but I honestly, when we met,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: I felt like I'd known you forever.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Well, I have known you forever because I was a
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: huge nine fan.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I felt like that, probably because I was a huge
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Dexter fan. So it was just like I was meeting
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: my old friend. Yeah that's what it felt like. I
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: loved it. How do you how you like and doing
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: those conventions?
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Oh god, I've been doing them forever. I love them.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I mean it's it's great to be a part of well,
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: because I started with Buffy and Angel and to be
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: a part of a show that has such a global
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: following and that fans come together and they hang out,
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: they meet, some of them fall in love, get married.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I'm now at the stage where little kids that I
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: met like twenty years ago are now full grown adults.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: So they come back and say hi, and I'm like, well,
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: that's kind of weird, weird, but they're really wonderful.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: But you have a whole that you have a whole
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: new generation of fans.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Then yes, yes, And then with Dexter feeds into that.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: It seems like a large part of my career feeds
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: into the convention life.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: So the vibes at the conventions are so much different
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: than I thought they would be, you know. And I
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: have gotten so much personally, as like from meeting fans
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: and from hanging out with them.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Yes, do you feel that way? Yeah, I mean I've
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: become friends with some of them.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Some things just random I call them friends.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I think it's just such a
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: great way to like I always say that it's so
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: great to be part of a show where the fans
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: are just as passionate about the show as we were
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: making it and to be a part of that world
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: and have that synergy. And then some people you just
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: meet and you're just like, hey, you don't want to
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: hang out with you? Right?
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: We could be friends, like, you know, instantly.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Like there was when I was on Defiance, which was
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: a show I did for sci Fi. There we would
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: live tweet the show and there was a group of
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: women and that were so snarky and so fun, and
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: they would life tweet with us. That I ended up
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: at dragon Con when you're hosting them in my hotel room, oh,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: to watch the finale of the season, and we had
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: a glass. And I'm still in touch with all of
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: them and like we're still friends.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I love that. That sounds like something I would totally do, Like,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: come on, guys, let's hang out. Hang out my room
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: so lonely. Oh that's so cool.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: I've made some really good friends and we've gone to
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: dinners and hang out at Dave's bar and just I
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: don't know, I just they're friends, yeah, plain and simple. Yeah,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: But there is that weird like how did the friendship begin?
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Like they were they're super fans, right, you know, and
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: then they somehow sort of like ease into just being cool,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: like we're friends, we're equals.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, well, I think also you have to be open
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: to it. I mean I do see so many actors
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: at conventions that they don't want to have an experience,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: they don't want to have a connection. I like having
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: a connection. I like meeting people. I like learning about
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: other people I like. I think that's one of the
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: reasons why I'm an actor. So I'm open to having
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: a connection.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I used to be really shut off to it,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: just connections in general. I literally used to walk around
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: my head down, my eyes down, never meeting people's gaze,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: you know. But I've changed so much now that I
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: really like thrive.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: But do you think that was because with nine oh
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: two and oh it was such a global phenomena that
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: you really couldn't you had to keep your head down.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: I think so. I think I've always just been uncomfortable
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: in the spotlight. I've always been like, I just want
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: to blend in. I just want to be normal. I'm
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: from Illinois, like I just I'm not a Hollywood person
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: at all. So I felt like I had to do
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: that in order to sort of like stay in my
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: comfort bubble. But now I've realized that bubble only existed
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: because I was creating it in my head, right, So
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I feel so much more freedom when it comes to
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: like connecting with other people and meeting people and just
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: shooting the shit with, you know, anybody on the street.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm always shocked when people know who I am.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I'm like, how, like, how how do you know? I
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: don't ever lead with that, So I'm always shocked when
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: someone is like I'm a huge fan and I'm like, oh,
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: thank you. That's like so flattering because I don't lead
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: with that. That's not how I define myself. But you know,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: like I was at the grocery store the other day
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: and the guy bagging my groceries was telling me about you.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: Just started talking about how he wants to be a
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: teacher and how he had finally got out a certification,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: and I was like, wow, I believe in you, like
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: you're going to do it. And then he was like,
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I'm a huge fan. I was like, oh, that's so sweet.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Like it's the best feeling when you can give somebody
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: that support that they might not be getting in their
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: real life. And it seems I know, for me, it's
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: really genuine. But I can tell from you it's really
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: genuine too.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Well. I think everybody needs somebody to say I believe
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: in you. Oh yeah, like I tell every I say
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: it's so much to strangers, and I think it's kind
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: of like they get taken aback by it, probably, But
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: I think we all need to be told like, I
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: believe in you. I know you're going to do that.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: It feels good to lift people up. Yeah, I mean
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: so much better than the opposite, yea, being closed off
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: and like you're better than people like all that. Yeah,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: celebrity juice that flows. Okay, I want to talk about
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: the beginning because I know you were a competitive figure skater.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I was, and you started when you were two years old.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Three years old, three.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Years old, okay, anyway, that's a tiny little person. Yes,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: you were probably super tiny too.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Yes. So there was an ice rink at the local mall,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: and my mom was looking for something that the family
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: could do together, like a family activity. So she took us,
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: my brother, sister, and I for group lessons. And I'm
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: the youngest in the family and my brother and sister.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: The group lessons they were like like group one Group
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: two all the way up till ten, Group ten, and
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: my brother and sister moved through those lessons fairly quickly.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: I was in group one for like nine months, and
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: my mother couldn't figure out why it was because I
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: was super cute. I was super cute. I had like
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: these chubby little cheeks and those like blonde, super blonde hair.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: And I thought ice skating was people just push you
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: around on the ice, because people would they'd be like, oh,
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: you're so cute, and they would just push me around.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: And that's what I thought skating was. I didn't realize
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: like I had to skate on my own, and so
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: then my mother put a ban on people pushing me around,
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: and so so you had to learn. I had to learn.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you told me a funny story about your mom
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: loved to go shopping. Yes, we were talking because we're
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: both born in nineteen seventy two. Yes, and we were
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: talking about I don't even know how this came up,
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: but leaving your kids in the car. We were talking
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: about we didn't use seatbelts when we were little. We
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: didn't have car seats until we were eight years old.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: They do now, and we still survive somehow, Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: My mom used to leave us in the car and
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: she'd go shopping in the mall. She was a shopaholic,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: and she would leave us in the back of the
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: station wagon and we would just entertain ourselves.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, And I asked you if it was hot,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: and you're like, well, she left the windows. God, wait,
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  Speaker 1: so maybe the whole like let's go ice skating at.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: The mall at the well also, because she would leave
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: us at the rink and then she would go and shop.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: The family time, family time. It's so funny. Was that
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  Speaker 1: your childhood dreamed to be a professional skater?
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: No, you know, my parents are suckers for your kids
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: are so talented. So they really believed that we were
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: super talented. And we worked really hard. I mean I
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: trained eight hours a day, seven days a week, two
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: weeks off a year.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: That's incredible.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, from the ages of what from like three until
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: I officially retired at sixteen. I had an injury at
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: thirteen and so I had I was off for about
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: six months, and so that's when I finally got to
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: experience life and go like, oh wait, I don't know
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: if this is what I want to do.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: And also you're basically giving up your life to do
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: that if you're not like super passionate about it.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it was. It wasn't until I was
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: in college and I was I was in the theater
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: program and I had a breakdown in class and I
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: finally admitted and finally I had a like it was
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: a breakdown revelation moment where I realized, like I didn't
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: love skating. I was told I loved it. So my
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: brother and sister, they were junior national ice dance champions.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: They were really good. They loved it. Mother loved it,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: my father loved it. I didn't love. I was the
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: little kid, like I was the little sister. And I
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: think for me when I when I had that injury,
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: my mother that's when I had my She exposed me
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: to acting because I was off and she knew I
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: love to perform, which that part is true. She dragged
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: me to audition for a play and that's when I
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: started going like, oh, this feels better. I like this,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: this this is something that I really enjoy doing. And
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: then that's how I shifted into acting.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: That's lucky that you found that at that age. You know, yes,
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: a lot of people takes a lot longer than that. Yes,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I'm curious what was your injury? Because I watch ice
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: skating and I hold my breath because that ice looks
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: really hard. It is when you're doing crazy things on
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: like a metal plane. But really, what did you do?
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: So? I had a stress fracture in my to be
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: a bone, and it was because I had a growth
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: spur and and just from all the jumping, like in
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: the impact landing over time, I had a stress fracture.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: But because it was the middle of competition season, you know,
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: I was basically told, suck it up, Buttercup, get through
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: competition season and then we'll take you to the doctor.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: By that time I went to the doctor, I had
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: the stress fracture, had like fractured the whole bone, and
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: so then I was put in a cast for a
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: fairly long period of time. And then when I went back,
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: I couldn't jump as well because of the muscle loss.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: So I started ice dancing, which is what my brother
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: and sister did. So I met ice dancing.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Less jumping, less sleeping and leaping. Okay, I don't even
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: know if I've ever seen ice dancing. You have, I have?
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: You have?
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: I just don't know that the difference. I got a
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: look closer. So that wasn't your childhood dream. It was
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: your family's sort of like dream thrust upon.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: You, Yes, which I think happens. Yeah, in families, especially
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: back then. I think now we're you know, children have
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: more of a voice of what they want to do
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: and more of a say. But you know, in the
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: seventies and eighties, it was this is what we do.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: We are a family of ice skaters. We're all going
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: to the Olympics. Like that was the plan. And I
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: was the first one to break the plan.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: How did they take that?
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: They were fine with it.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Actually my mom loved the fact that I wanted to
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: be an actor. She said she loved that.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: She was like, okay, let's give it.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: So she was the first one to be like, yeah, okay,
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: you can pivot, you can do this instead. So yeah,
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: So from there, you went onto NYU and went to
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: NYU to study acting. You were at tish I was
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: same place that my oldest daughter went.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I believe I could be completed.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Did she study acting?
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: She was actually a gallatint yes, yes, so she was
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: in your dorms probably, Yeah, which dorm? Oh care I
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: can't remember. I have another one, my third daughter going
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: into a dorm this fall.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: No, no, oh no.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: She's staying local. Thank god, Oh god. But you finished
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: at NYU and you pretty much just jumped right into
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: your career. Yes, so well in the pavement.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: When I was at NYU, I booked my very first
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: television series, like my first month of freshman year.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's exciting.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: And it was a sitcom that ABC and Nick at
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Night were doing. It was called high Honey, I'm Home.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: And they had a rule at NYU that you weren't
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: supposed to be auditioning professionally your freshman year, and I'm
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: not a rule follower, so they tried to kick me
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: out of school. But I had a teacher stand up
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: for me and say, you know, if you kick her out,
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: I'd quit, and so I was able to stay. I
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: was given a D for the semester, but no one
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: has ever asked me my grade point average, so doesn't matter.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: So yeah, so I did the pilot and then that
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: show got picked up, so I took a semester off
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: to do the series.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Was that in New York?
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: It shot in Orlando, Florida. Okay, so I took a
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: semester off, and I realized at that time it really
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: wasn't ready to work professionally. Like I was really struggling.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I was on location, I was with a bunch of
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: adults and then some little kids, Like there was nobody
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: my age to hang out with. I was nineteen, and
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: it just I was really lonely. I was really struggling,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: and I realized, like, this isn't for me right now
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: at this point in my life. And so then the
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: show got canceled, thank god, and I went back to
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: college and I finished up, and then I moved out
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: to La. Ah.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: And did you get an agent right away or how
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: did that all kind of about how did the path unfold
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: for you?
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Well, I had met my manager, who was my manager
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: for thirty some years before until he retired. I met
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: him when I was about fourteen years old in Pittsburgh,
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: and I had been going to New York for auditions
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: and so I he moved out to LA a year
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: before I graduated college. And so then when I graduated,
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: he's like, we'll come out to LA and so yeah,
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: and then just started I started working right away.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Did you did you use the Thomas Guide to find
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: your way around town.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Oh my god. So I moved out in January of
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: ninety four, two weeks before the earthquake, the big earthquake,
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: and the ten Freeway had collapsed. Yeah, and I didn't
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: know where the ten Freeway was, so I didn't take
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: a freeway for a long time because I was too
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: afraid I was going to like drive off of it.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Luckily, you can get around LA without the freeways.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, And I lived in Brentwood at that time, so
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: it was fairly convenient. But yeah, that Thomas Guide was
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: I just remember having to pull over and like look,
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: like flip through the coordinating.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I have my Thomas Guide, you do. I found it
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: my mom's house, and it's like a coveted archive piece
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: for me.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Well, mine was probably covered in like peanut butter stuff
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: because I would always eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: It was like my audition food.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: In the car.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: In the car because you'd have like six seven auditions
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: a day and you're driving all over town and I'd
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: have like little like little snack packs of like peanut
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: butter and jelly sandwiches and like crackers and anything. They
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: keep the energy up.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: And now we don't even have to leave our house
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: to audition.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I hate it.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: You don't like doing the auditions from home?
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: I I don't know. I miss the energy I miss.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: I miss sitting in a waiting room with other actors.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: You do, I do. I miss that camaraderie. I miss
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: feeling like you're a part of something. It's really hard
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: for me to audition at home.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard to get in the right space. It
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: is just weird.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: It's weird, it's lonely. I find it so lonely and isolating.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: I recently had my first in person audition in five years.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: How it was so exciting, Like it was like I
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: was like, oh, we are back.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: That is amazing. I didn't get the part, but you
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: had a good time with the audition.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: It fed my soul, Like it really fed my soul
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: because I was like, maybe now this is a sign
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: we'll start getting back into rooms again.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: I would love that.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: I read that an acting coach once told you were
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: never going to make it in the industry. Yes, okay,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: we've all had you know, people say mean things to us,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: but that's pretty hardcore from somebody that you looked up to.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: I'm sure, but how did you turn that negative messaging
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: into like the fuel that fired you to keep going?
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: So that happened when I did a Carnegie Mellon summer
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: program the I think it was between junior and senior year.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: It was like an acting program and like you lived
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: there and it was like six weeks where they exposed
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: you to full on like what it would be like
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: if you came to Carnegie Mellon And it was one
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: of the teachers there, and honestly, in my brain, I
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: mean I just thought, Wow, what a loser you are,
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: like telling a sixteen year old that you'll never make
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: it in this industry and and you're not even working. Really,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: you're teaching act yet.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Right, What did you do when he like when he
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: said that, it was she Well, what did you do
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: when she said that? To your face?
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: I mean I just looked at her and I was like, well,
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: that's your opinion, and that's not everybody else's opinion.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I have.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Like I had a manager an agent in New York,
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: so I was like, I go to New York for auditions, Like,
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: what do you do? I had a big bigo.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, but it sounds like you had to stand
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: up for yourself.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, And I think she was the voice teacher, like
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: the speaking voice teacher, and she just thought my voice
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: was awful. And I remember my manager saying to me,
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: he said, well, sometimes the thing that makes you unique
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: is also the thing that makes people not like you.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: And he goes, you do have a very unique voice,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: so that's what makes you different than somebody else. So
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: it's okay, and some people aren't gonna like it, and
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: that's okay. So but I still have the report card
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: from her. I still keep it just as a reminder
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: that I had, I had the nerve at that age
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: to kind of stand up for myself. But I've always
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: you know, I feel like i've I think in order
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: when you come from the Midwest and you want you're
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: not born into the industry and you want to be
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: an actor, everybody tells you, good luck, honey, you're not
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: gonna make it. Yeah, So I think there is a
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: bit of that youthful belief in yourself, the ego that
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: comes out and says I'm going to prove you wrong.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Do you think that has carried with you in your
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: adult life? Like until now, do you have that streak
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: within you still.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, definitely, definitely. I still I mean, I still think
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: like I'm the only one for the part.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I still feel that that's a really good mindset, Like
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: that's incredible, and it's not a fake confidence.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: I mean I do always say like why not me? Like,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: if you're going to choose somebody, then why not choose me.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm a hard worker. I've you know, I
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: work very very hard at my job. I show up
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: on time, I'm prepared, I always have a good, good energy,
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: good spirit, Like why not me?
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: So that's the best thing you can say to yourself.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: Why not? Yeah, with any obstacle that you're coming up
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: against in your life. Yes, And I didn't really start
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: thinking that until I was in my fifties.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And it took me. It was really hard for
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: me to get there because I was so full of
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: self doubt and so full of insecurities, and you know,
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: just had let the business sort of have its way
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: with my mind and my soul.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, until I was like, no, well, you were under
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: a microscope. I've never been. I've never been. I've never
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: experienced that, like I've never I've been a part of
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: some great shows yes, but I've never been like under
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: a microscope like I've always felt I've been able to
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: keep my personal life and my work separate and keep everything,
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: you know, separate, normal, and I was never I mean,
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: the level of fame that you reached very quickly was astounding.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: I mean that's once in a lifetime.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a wild ride. Yeah, so it definitely
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: had an impact on my development in a lot of ways. Yes,
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: but you said you're from the Midwest. Yes, I think
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: that there's something about the grit of a Midwestern Yeah.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Do you feel that too.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, totally totally. Like there's nothing wrong with nepotism at all.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: And I love like, I love like, I understand it.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: I see why not?
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Why not? Right? If I had kids, I'd be like
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: why not? If I can help you, why not? But
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: for me to like, I just feel like coming from
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Pittsburgh where I didn't know any other actors and I
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: had to like forge my way and like and just
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: be like, I'm going to do this no matter what, Like,
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: this is what I'm doing and I'm either going to
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: sink or swim, like that's it. Those are the two options.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: So I'm going to choose to swim that I feel
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: that I still have that in me.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: I think that's such an incredible trait, you know. I
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: think it's it says a lot about who you are.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: And also we were talking earlier also about your driving style,
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: which is now I'm getting.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: A little bit of a contradictory message because you said,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I know I'm slow and steady, you're the slow lane.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Kind of got I'm in the fast lane.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Like, yeah, yeah, I'm slow and steady. I'm a Taurus,
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: like you know, I'm a tourist, very very like you
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: get that when you get there, give yourself enough time
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: to get there. You don't need to speed. I don't
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: need to show off, right, I know.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: I think that was younger me, like it was like
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I am a crazy la driver now, but I've gotten
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: a little bit more mellow, And I think my husband
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Dave has really helped me with that because he's like
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: an eighty year old man in the body and in
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: all of his life, and he drives really slow. So
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: I kind of find it so comforting that I started
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: to adopt it.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just slow and steady, you know. I also
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: I was in a lot of car accidents as a kid.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: Because my mother was a terrible driver.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: So wait, how many like roughly?
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: Oh my god?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: And are we talking like fender benders?
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: Are we talking no major like where the car was totaled?
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Oh no, yeah, yeah she was not. She didn't learn
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: to drive until she was thirty years old.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I mean she should have waited a little longer. Maybe
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: she should have started earlier. That is crazy.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so that we had a couple. I was
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: in a couple of massive car accidents. I mean two
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: of them I was in the hospital for because I
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: had like massive concussion and whiplash. And so I think
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: when you have experienced car accidents on that level, you
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: just kind of go like, you know what, I'm gonna
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: take the granny lane. I'm perfectly happy in the granny lane.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna think of you now when I'm in the
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: granny lane. I'm gonna enjoy it. Be like this is
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: something that works for her. We talk a lot about
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: learning to choose ourselves on this podcast. When would you
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: say you started to first consciously think about the importance
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: of choosing yourself, the importance of self care.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: M I mean, I really think up until I got
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: divorced from my first husband I was. I mean, I
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: was very motivated and set on my path of what
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: I wanted to do, but the rest of my life
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: I was kind of just going along with everybody else.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: How old were you when you got divorced?
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: I was thirty four, and had you been married twenty four?
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: I got married too, so you were married at twenty four. Yeah.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: And I remember hearing Terry Hatcher had written a book
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: and I can't remember the title, but something about eating
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: the burnt toast. And I remember seeing her on the
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: view talking about it and about how women take the
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: burnt toast. And that's when I realized, like, that's what
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: I was doing in my marriage. I was taking the
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: burnt toast, the burnt piece of toast, every single time.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: And I really started. I was struggling, obviously in the marriage,
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: and I ended up filing for divorce because I was like,
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I can't do this anymore. I'm losing myself. Who I am,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I'm not being I'm not able to grow, not able
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: to become a grown up. I had married somebody older,
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: and he's a lovely man. It's just the dynamic just
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: wasn't working. And I think for me that was the
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: first time I really like chose myself was deciding to
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: get divorced, because it was I grew up in a
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: very devout Catholic family. Divorce was very much looked down upon,
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: and I never thought like, I didn't get married thinking
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I would get divorced. So it was it was a
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: very difficult decision. But I honestly felt like I was suffocating,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Like I felt like I was just I couldn't breathe,
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: you know. And then I would go on location and
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: I would smoke cigarettes and drink and like all this
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: bad behavior, and I like and be like, why did
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I why Why do I feel like? Why am I
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: acting like this? And I was like, it's because I'm
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: not able to just be me. So that was like,
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: really the first time.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: That's good, that's you know, that's a significant moment in
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: your life and so important in that time when you
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: realized I have got to take care of myself in
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: a different way. Yes, yes, how do you I know
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: we follow each other on social media? How do you
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: like social media? What do you think of it? We
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: were saying before we're instagram we.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: Are instam instagrammys, instagrammy, your instagrammys.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I love it? Did you just come up I do.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: I love Instagram.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: You're not a TikToker.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: I've tried the TikTok. I've tried it. You know, it's
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: just it's a time suck.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: It just it just feels like it's killing your brain cells.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's too much information. It's like it's addictive. And
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: I for me, like during the pandemic, it was recommended
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: that I try the TikTok and I did a couple
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: videos and it was super cute.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Are you dancing? Did you do the dancing?
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: I did one dancing. My husband said he was like,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: if you do the TikTok, you're not allowed to dance,
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: and so because he was like, please, don't be that lady,
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: like please.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: And so what if you want? By the way, but.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: I did the one. I did it once and it
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: was super funny and cute, and then I did I
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: did a lot of lip syncing videos which were a
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: lot of fun. And then I did a couple other
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: videos and some of them went viral, which was great.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: But I just was like, it takes too much time
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: to like film it, edit it, come up with the idea,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: do the sound, do that. It was like too much,
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: So I.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Mean that's why kids go to college and major in
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: it now, I know, because of people.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Like us, because we don't know how to do it. No.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I think it's definitely like there's such a so much
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: significance in like the younger generation. We're basically our moms
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: now and we're looking at what we were and thinking, Oh,
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: the kids these days, what they what they can do.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: But I think they're just they're used to it in
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: a way that doesn't they don't feel like it's robbing
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: them of their life.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: I know. I know. I don't know if that's a
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: good thing or bad, but I feel like it it
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: affects your attention span.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Uh yeah, so my kids can literally, like especially my
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: youngest who's eighteen, who is really in the TikTok generation,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: It's like you've got three seconds with her, yeah, before
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: she's onto something else, not listening to you, already talking
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: about something else, thinking about what she's going to talk about.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: It's so worrisome.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's what I noticed. It was happening to
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: me when I was doing it. It sounds like a drug.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was on the TikTok.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: I was on the TikTok. I couldn't read books anymore
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: because like my focus was gone, and I didn't like that, right,
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: because I love to read. I love to just sit
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: and focus and read a book and just be in
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: a whole other world. And I found that, you know,
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: just the scrolling even now, it's even still with Instagram,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: Like I have to keep my scrolling in check me too,
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: because I'm like, why am I sitting here doing this
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: when I have a really great book sitting next to
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: my bed that I could go read.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll get sucked in, Like I'll go to look
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: at something and then I'll just get sucked in and
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: then five minutes I'm like, oh my god, hate myself
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: right now, Like put that phone down. Yeah, this is too,
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: it's too. It takes over your brain in the weirdest way.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know how it does it.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: And I get influenced very easily. For me too, I'm like, oh,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I want to buy that shirt, I want that mask
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: and care I want that I.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: Need not everything, everything, saw anything. I will buy anything
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: basically on TikTok if it's a cool, if it looks great.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Listen, if you are on there saying that you use something,
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: I am like Jenny, I'm buying it right now.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: I know I'm very selective about the things that I
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: promote because I know how influential it can be. And
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be like buy all these crappy
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: things right to take it very seriously. I don't want
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: to be responsible for people going bankrupt having just stuff
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: they don't need. How do you stay grounded and in
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: touch with your sense of self or your self worth?
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: Even like it is it through those times of like
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: I'm going to read book, I'm gonna just sit here
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: quietly and you know, be in my own world for
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: a minute, Like what do you how do you do
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: it well?
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: I mean I really I think I get myself worth
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: from being a good person and being a good friend
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: two people. I mean, in some ways, it's being in
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: service of others and trying to help out where others
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: might be like my friends might be failing in one
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: area of their life. Like like I had one of
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: my close friends she's a mom of four kids, and
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: like helping out with the kids when her life gets
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: too busy, and and just helping other people. And my
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: love language is cooking for others. Like that's really to me,
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: it's very intimate, like if I were to have you
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: over and make you dinner, it's like a very like.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: It's it's how I express like my love and friendship
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: to people. Is like, I'm going to cook for you.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: I like that, So.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: You can cook for me anytime.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: You want to come over, I'll cook for you.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: No one ever cooks for me. My oldest daughter's cooked
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: for me, and that's about it. My husband orders for
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: me right, which I appreciate too.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: No one cooks for me ever.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: Would you like somebody to cook for you?
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: No, I enjoy it.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: I like to do it.
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: I love being in the kitchen. I mean I I
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: enjoy it. It's it's a creative outlet for me, and
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: it's especially helpful during the times when work is slow.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: I start getting creative in the kitchen. You know, I
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: wish I filmed it.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: More, but it kind of pulls you out of it.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: It's too hard.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Again, President, I forget. I'll forget. I forget like steps
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: one through five, and you're like, oh, no, yeah, I
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: gotta do that again.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: Is so true.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: I read that you said you love to cook and clean.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I do chores.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: I do. I was like my sister, I do I
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: love doing chores. I love it.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: What's your favorite chore?
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: I love vacuuming and mopping my floors.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: Vacuuming is so like meditation.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's so relaxing, and people hate it, I know,
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: and I love it.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: I I what kind of vacuum do you have?
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: I have like just it's a stick vacuum, like a
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, like a cordless.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: A cordless That's the way I love it. And then
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: I love to mop my floor because my house is
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: mid century and I have these giant windows and you
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: can see any dirt on the floor and it drives
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: me up a wall. And I've got big dogs that
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: go in the pool and then come running in the
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: house with wet feet, and so I'm probably vacuuming and
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: mopping like every other day.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, wait, this is going to be really boring to
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: some people. But how do you mop? Because I want
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: to be better mopping. I want to be better mopper.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: You want to be a better mobb per too.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: It's like a goal.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Well, I use the banaa the spray spray, and then
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: I just swish it around because you don't want to
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: put too much water on a wood floor.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Right, But do you ever feel like you're just squishing
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: around like the dirt and like, oh no, it all
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: comes up, it goes on the thing, it goes.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: On the pad.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, God, I'm going to break out my Bona
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: on floor cleaner kit. I know I have one.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: Fwhere it's the best thing.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get it. Okay. So have we talked
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: about the fact I think we have that my husband
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: was at your wedding? Yes, your parent husband, Yes, he
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: was someone's date. I think your makeup artist.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, Kels Kelsey.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, they used to be really good friends.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Did he have a good time at the wedding?
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: He said he had a blast.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: It was a great wedding. I'm going to it was
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: an amazing wedding. Lest still talk about it. And it
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: was thirteen years ago.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I mean it must have been good that your marriage
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: is still thriving after thirteen years. Like that's a symbolic thing,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: like when you have a great wedding, Yeah, and everybody's
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: happy and.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, I didn't really want to have a
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: wedding like I wasn't because I had a big wedding
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: and I was kind of leaning towards like, let's elope,
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: But my husband had never been married before and then
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: and it wasn't that he wanted a big wedding. It
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: was just that we wanted to celebrate all the people
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: that helped get us to this amazing point in our
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: relationship together. And so that's how we looked at it
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: as was it was a celebration of all the people
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: that were there who were a part of getting us
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: to Yeah, this stage, it takes a village, and it
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: did for us because we neither one of us. We
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: weren't looking for a relationship when we first started dating.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: How did you guys meet?
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: I was we were set up to have a one
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: night stand, a one night stand.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: It turned into thirteen years of one night.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: Stand, yeah, eighteen if you could count. Yeah, so it
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: and it took us a while to even admit we
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: were dating. We were like, no, we're just looking up.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: We weren't looking for a relationship. So it really kind
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: of happened organically our relationship and for us, it was
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: just so great to be able to celebrate like all
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: the people in our lives. And we had it at
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: the Soden House, which.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: I heard all about it. By the way, A.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: Beautiful home, not a typical wedding venue, which is what
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: I want, Which that's what I imagined. I was like,
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: I don't want I don't want the all the church
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: and this and then that I had that. I went
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: something that is more like a swanky Hollywood party, and
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: that's exactly what it was.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: That sounds like fun. I wish I was there. I
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: know we'll get married again. The vow things your vows.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: I want to do that.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: I want to do it too. I wish that that
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: house it changed owners and they don't rent it out anymore.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: But I wish we could do the wedding again again.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: It was so much fun.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: How do you think your marriage has grown over these
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: years together? Because you know, you've been together a significant
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: amount of time. That's a success story that's happening for you.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, we've been through a lot. We also keep
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: our relationship off social media. It's a very important for
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: the both of us. I mean I maybe post about
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: it once on our anniversary and then on a birthday
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: or something. But like we you know, we we don't
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: believe in throwing keeps throwing it out how we feel
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: about each other, like that's personal to us. It's very intimate.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: And then you know, we lead very different lives, like
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: we like very different things we have. I always joke
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: around we have nothing in common, like just our core values.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: But other than that, like he likes sports and like
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: gay go sports. He likes to watch like war movies
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: and documentaries, and I like rom coms and you know,
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: fantasy shows.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: And I think her husband should hang out and we
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: should hang out, but that they can be happy doing
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: their thing. Yeah, because it's the same for me. And
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's like all. I know, it's
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: not all guys, but it's it's good to have differences.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Well, I think it's great. So I was married. My
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: first husband wasn't actor, and it was I always say,
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: there's room. There's only room for one peacock in the family,
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: and it was I mean, I think that was part
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: of the problem. Yeah, and also you know, we we
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: liked all the same things. I love that my husband
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: and I are so completely different. You know, I read books,
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: he doesn't. You know, he's not an actor. I am like,
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: it's just it's just for me, it's it's very it
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: gives me space than to be able to be myself.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Right because that autonomy is so important in a relationship.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: I feel like, don't you Yeah, okay. I always ask
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: everyone this at the end of the podcast, Julie e
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: Ban's what was your last I choose me moment?
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: Oh? Is this morning I worked out?
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: There? You go?
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: There, you go every morning every morning I choose me,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: I go to the gym, I work out. That's me
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: choosing me. And that's that's why you have that boy,
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: I do you know it's it's really for mental health purposes.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: I find that that's where I center myself. I don't
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: have my phone with me. I'm not looking at my phone.
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not watching TV. I'm not I'm just focused on
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: lifting a weight or you know, counting the rep counting
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: the reps. And it's very meditative for me. And nothing
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: is allowed to interfere with my workout schedule. Drives my
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: husband up a wall.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: But it's on the calendar.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: If if i'm you know, if it's a day I'm
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: scheduled to work out, he's got to wait. Yeah.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: So good for you. Yeah, thank you so much for
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: being on my pood. I loved it.