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Mystic in Plain Clothes · The Spiritual Shitshow Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello, and welcome back to the Spiritual Shit Show.
• 0:02
  My name is Julie Nguyen, and today I wanna tell you a story that still feels like a dream when I remember it, and it's actually taken me a long time to figure out what the heck the experience is.
• 0:14
  But now that I am on the other side of healing, I'm in my new era of, what happens after healing, and I love this notion that it's not about the great awakening, it's the great remembering.
• 0:29
  And the more that I learn, the more that I do this soul work, the more humbled I fucking am by all of it.
• 0:38
  Because here's the thing: there is such a thing as a spiritual ego.
• 0:44
  There's this part of us that can take our healing gifts, our intuition, our sensitivities, our abilities to see angels or do tarot card readings or whatever, our connection to spirit, and we can quietly turn it into identity.
• 1:04
  It's the egoic part of us that wants to feel important, that wants to feel chosen, that wants to become somebody, that wants to be seen.
• 1:15
  When my gifts first started opening about 15 years ago, I could feel energy.
• 1:20
  I could sense people's guides.
• 1:22
  I could see them.
• 1:23
  I could see angels.
• 1:24
  I could see colors.
• 1:25
  I could receive messages.
• 1:27
  I could also hear messages from animals, dogs.
• 1:32
  I could feel and see angels and loved ones, and I could see ghosts and spirits that were hanging around, and these gifts were real.
• 1:43
  And at the time, so was my desire to matter.
• 1:48
  I will say it again, where I am in my journey now is fucking humbling.
• 1:54
  Humbling.
• 1:56
  There was still a very human part of me, just actually up until recently, and it's probably still there, it's just not as loud, where there's part of me that's searching for the role, that's searching for the identity, that's searching for the,"Ooh, wow, this is who I am.
• 2:11
  This is what I do," searching for something to replace the old identity that I had lost.
• 2:17
  So spirituality become another place where my ego could whisper,"This is what makes you special.
• 2:24
  This is what makes you important.
• 2:26
  This is what makes you somebody." And I say this with so much compassion for that version of myself because 10 years ago, I wasn't trying to harm anyone, and I definitely wasn't trying to overstep any boundaries.
• 2:43
  I was just trying to find myself more Sometimes when we are trying to prove our gifts, we can overstep.
• 2:49
  We can forget humility.
• 2:51
  We can forget boundaries.
• 2:53
  We can forget that no gift makes us better than anyone else.
• 2:59
  And this story that I'm about to share was one of the first times that I got humbled in a way that I didn't understand at the time, but I understand it now a little bit more.
• 3:11
  All right, so I'm gonna take you back to the year 2020.
• 3:14
  I was overseas teaching dance, and it was literally right before the world changed.
• 3:20
  There was this strange feeling in the air.
• 3:23
  it just felt odd.
• 3:24
  It w- there was something, I couldn't name it.
• 3:27
  And the moment before everything shifted, when something was coming, but none of us fully knew what it was yet, I had this really crazy, mystical experience.
• 3:39
  I was supposed to fly home the next day.
• 3:41
  My luggage is packed.
• 3:43
  I'm ready to go home.
• 3:45
  And my translator for this trip sent me a message, and she said,"My teachers know you're in town.
• 3:52
  They changed their train tickets home because they want to meet you.
• 3:57
  Can you come out tonight with us so we can talk mystical talks?" And I paused, because when I travel internationally, I am tired.
• 4:07
  I'm not out exploring the city past 7:30.
• 4:10
  I'm actually in bed at 7:30 tucked in like a grandma.
• 4:16
  So my first instinct was,"No, I don't wanna be tired.
• 4:18
  I wanna go to bed." But then something deeper inside of me said,"Go.
• 4:22
  My God, go." So I went.
• 4:25
  I met my translator in the lobby.
• 4:26
  We took a cab through the city.
• 4:28
  We turned down an alleyway.
• 4:30
  Very unfamiliar place.
• 4:31
  I've never seen it before.
• 4:33
  We got out of the car, and we walked into this random tea shop, and this alley that we were on was empty.
• 4:42
  It was dark, empty.
• 4:44
  And the moment I stepped inside of this tea shop, number one, I was confused.
• 4:48
  I'm like,"Where are we?
• 4:49
  Who are we meeting?
• 4:50
  What is happening?" But I just felt like I was walking into this strange portal.
• 4:57
  I had entered this room, that people came to meet me.
• 5:03
  I looked around the space.
• 5:05
  There was a long wooden tea table, and at the head of it sat a woman with long hair, steady eyes, gorgeous, stoic, strong.
• 5:18
  She just had a presence I've never really felt before.
• 5:22
  Kind eyes, and looked at me like she knew.
• 5:26
  And at the back of the shop was a man who I later found out was this woman's partner, and he was the mystic.
• 5:33
  He was the teacher.
• 5:34
  And when I arrived, he was working on somebody, and he was doing his healing work, and it almost looked like chiropractic work.
• 5:42
  And then I looked to the left of me, and there was this other guy who stood in a focused posture.
• 5:50
  He was still and grounded, and it was like he was practicing some sort of energy work, almost like Tai Chi, focused.
• 6:00
  He was focusing on energy.
• 6:03
  And then there was this other man, this younger, playful, bright, almost like bouncy 20-something-year-old kid with a lot of curiosity and a lot of energy.
• 6:13
  He was just like a puppy dog.
• 6:14
  Everyone was dressed normally, plain clothes, no robes, no costumes, no grand display of spirituality, just people in a tea shop.
• 6:24
  and somehow that made the whole thing feel more powerful and, ah, it just generated a curiosity.
• 6:33
  When I walked in the door, there was also another man who looked at me but was looking over, up, and above my head.
• 6:42
  And he asked my translator,"Is she Catholic?" And she looked at me.
• 6:49
  He was like,"She, he wants to know if you're Catholic." And I said,"I don't know.
• 6:53
  That's like a loaded question for me.
• 6:55
  I have a very Catholic lineage and, but I'm not necessarily a practicing Catholic." And I said,"Why?" And he's still just holding this glance over the top, like up to the back corner of the room.
• 7:10
  And he said,"She brought a lot of people with her tonight." And he said,"But I'm asking if she's Catholic because a lot of them are wearing robes, carrying staffs." And in that moment, I was like,"What is happening?
• 7:22
  What is happening?
• 7:23
  And also, who are these people?
• 7:25
  Where did they come from?
• 7:26
  And how can he see them?" it was just so wild.
• 7:29
  So eventually, this teacher, this mystic who they sat me across, was ready to meet with me.
• 7:36
  I said hello.
• 7:38
  His eyes were so kind.
• 7:40
  My translator's there, so I am already anticipating the whole conversation is gonna run through my translator.
• 7:48
  And he said to me very clearly in English, Do you know who you are?" And I think I just stared back at him stunned.
• 7:57
  what is, what do you mean do I know who I am?
• 8:00
  And then he said,"Do you know where you come from?" And then immediately my spiritual ego came to the forefront and I was like,"Oh my God, he's gonna tell me like, I'm some, I'm like, I'm a star seed.
• 8:14
  I'm a Pleiadian.
• 8:15
  I'm an I'm Arcturian." I'm somebody special.
• 8:17
  I'm a healer." And I asked him, I was like,"What do you mean?
• 8:20
  Like, where do I come from?
• 8:21
  like a galaxy?
• 8:22
  a, am I a Pleiadian?" And he was like,"No.
• 8:25
  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
• 8:27
  None of that." And then he just looked at me straight again and he said,"Do you know who you are?
• 8:34
  And do you know where you come from?
• 8:37
  Like when you leave this place, do you know where you go back to?" And then of course I'm like, uh, yeah.
• 8:43
  Like I think like to my star seed collective, like I'm special." And also I didn't know how to answer him.
• 8:52
  I wanted him to give me a title.
• 8:53
  I wanted him to tell me.
• 8:55
  I wanted like a little notch on my cosmic resume.
• 9:00
  I wanted a beautiful spiritual explanation for why I mattered and why he wanted to see me and talk to me.
• 9:09
  Do you know who you are?
• 9:11
  Not what you do, not what gifts you have, not what people call you, not what pain you survived, not what role you are trying to become.
• 9:23
  Who are you and where do you come from?
• 9:27
  Not as a label, not as a spiritual category, not so you can give yourself on Instagram this really crazy title of I'm the divine creator of Christ consciousness here to activate consciousness and activity and blah, blah, blah, blah, all the things.
• 9:44
  Not as something to make you more important than someone else, but as A remembrance that you come from the same light as everyone else, that there is no hierarchy to the light, that eventually all light returns to the light, and none of us are closer to God than anyone else.
• 10:01
  We are all sparks of the same creator source, every single one of us.
• 10:07
  Different expressions, different blueprints, different stories, different wounds, different medicines, but the same source.
• 10:15
  I sat there and met with this mystic and his students and his partner for probably two hours.
• 10:24
  He did say,"You still have sadness, and I can help you with the sadness," and he gave me a healing.
• 10:32
  But as I reflect back on that from where I am now six years later, I am being reminded that sometimes we use our gifts to place ourselves above other people.
• 10:43
  I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you.
• 10:46
  And sometimes we place other people above us because they seem more gifted or more healed or more enlightened or have more gifts or are more spiritual.
• 10:55
  What I'm realizing for myself is both are distortions.
• 11:00
  The pedestal is still a pedestal, whether we are standing on it or kneeling before it.
• 11:06
  And that night in that tea shop, I saw something different, which I am embodying today.
• 11:13
  I saw people who knew, but they did not need to be seen in their knowing.
• 11:18
  They worked during the day.
• 11:19
  They sold tea.
• 11:20
  They moved boxes.
• 11:21
  They handled shipments.
• 11:23
  They lived ordinary lives.
• 11:26
  And when they gathered at night to practice, to listen, to serve, to heal, to help others to remember who they are, they were just mystics in plain clothes.
• 11:36
  I didn't enter that tea shop that night with people wrapped in mala beads and felt hats and fur coats.
• 11:44
  They showed up in their everyday wear: jeans, a button-up.
• 11:50
  Mystics in plain clothes.
• 11:53
  That is what my translator called them after we left.
• 11:55
  When we stepped outside after this incredible, mystic, magical, dreamlike experience, it was wild because the alley was wrapped in fog And there was this crazy thick mist hanging in the air, and the cab pulled up through to pick us up like a scene from a movie.
• 12:18
  It just all felt so surreal.
• 12:21
  And as we drove away, I felt like I was leaving one world and returning back into another, which in many ways I was about to, because when we got home in 2020, things were gonna start shifting and looking a lot differently.
• 12:37
  I also remember thinking that when I showed up,"Ooh, I'm special.
• 12:42
  These mystics know I'm here, and I am somebody special." And I walked out of this mystical meet and greet, and I was like,"I am a fucking baby." I literally feel like I have a spiritual diaper on.
• 12:55
  My translator, of course, was giddy and happy.
• 12:58
  And when I asked her, I was like,"What was that?" She said,"Those are my teachers." And then she explained,"They are mystics.
• 13:06
  We have many of them here.
• 13:08
  During the day, they work in the tea shop, move boxes, and at night they gather and they practice, and they are mystics in plain clothes." Mystics in plain clothes.
• 13:16
  I have never forgotten that because it stripped something away from me, which again, I am learning how to embody now, which is this idea that spirituality has to look a certain way, that wisdom has to dress itself up, that healing has to be branded, that mysticism needs a costume, and it doesn't.
• 13:37
  The mystic is not separate from ordinary life.
• 13:40
  The mystic is inside ordinary life, inside the tea shop, inside the alleyway, inside the person moving boxes, inside the mother making lunches, inside the tired body paying bills.
• 13:54
  The mystic is inside the grief, inside the grocery store, inside the human being who remembers, even for a moment, that they are more than the roles that they are playing.
• 14:06
  The mystic is the part of you that remembers that you are light.
• 14:10
  The mystic is the part of you that remembers that you are here to experience, to love, to heal, to forgive, to serve, to create, to remember.
• 14:22
  The mystic is not more special.
• 14:24
  The mystic is the one who just is curious about what it is to become more of themselves.
• 14:30
  And these particular mystics were in their knowing.
• 14:35
  They knew who they were.
• 14:37
  They knew where they came from, And they knew how and why they came here to serve.
• 14:44
  And that is the part I keep coming back to.
• 14:46
  The point is to not become more important, and I think the more you deep dive on the spiritual path, the more humility is required.
• 14:56
  The journey's actually really humbling.
• 14:59
  The point is to become more of who you are.
• 15:04
  For you to remember your energetic blueprint and to remember that you matter.
• 15:10
  Your soul experience matters.
• 15:12
  Your soul song matters.
• 15:14
  Your gifts matter.
• 15:16
  And everybody has gifts that are different.
• 15:19
  I can see angels in light and do soul channeling, and in so many ways, my husband is such a better master at all of it.
• 15:27
  He's got such an incredible intuition.
• 15:30
  He can access parts of his brain that frickin' are crazy.
• 15:35
  He's so smart, and he's so humble.
• 15:39
  So in many ways, I'm over here trying to become someone and something and sell my gifts to the world, and I have my husband who's already mastered all of them, so he doesn't need to sell any of them.
• 15:52
  And that is humbling.
• 15:53
  The medicine is you.
• 15:56
  That is the remembrance.
• 15:58
  Can I become honest enough to know who I am?
• 16:02
  Can I become humble enough to stop performing?
• 16:06
  Can I become present enough to serve from love instead of importance?
• 16:11
  Can I remember where I come from without needing it to make sense to anybody else?
• 16:16
  Can I remember that there is no hierarchy to the light, that there is only light remembering itself in different forms?
• 16:24
  And maybe all of us are mystics in plain clothes, walking around in ordinary bodies, living ordinary lives, carrying ancient stories, forgetting, remembering, forgetting again, remembering again, living our human lives while something eternal moves quietly beneath the surface.
• 16:49
  Selling tea, moving boxes, raising children, grieving dogs, paying bills, holding hands, saying sorry, beginning again, everyday life, holy life, mystical life, all of it happening right here in plain clothes.
• 17:09
  So I'll leave you with a question that he gave me on that very mystical night Do you know who you are?
• 17:16
  Do you know where you come from?
• 17:19
  Do you know why you came here?
• 17:21
  And not as a way to become special, but as a way to come home to the truth of who you are.
• 17:28
  Because we are not here to rise above humanity.
• 17:31
  We are here to remember the light inside each one of us.
• 17:36
  Thank you for listening, and for those who are listening, I am just closing my eyes for a moment and humbly bowing to you, for you are also the mystic in plain clothes.
• 17:51
  Thank you for being here.
• 17:52
  Till next time