Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S2 E23 - Dr. Xenia Goldfarb Redux

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S2 E23 - Dr. Xenia Goldfarb Redux · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:00
SPEAKER_03: Previously on the Steven Jeff Show.
0:02
SPEAKER_03: I don't want to say that there's a pattern here, but every third grader on Earth made fun of him.
0:08
SPEAKER_03: The richest man in the world.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: I am Richie's uh public persona, his representative, if you will, or his sock puppet to a more of a uh prenatal up.
0:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
0:20
SPEAKER_03: The other side of South Carolina, yeah.
0:22
SPEAKER_00: We all know that people equals money grabbers.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: So he now, uh, congratulations on your show.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: And I am, as you Americans say, wasted.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: Please to keep buying my appropriated ethnic trinkets.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Thinking that this would be a good way to quote pay forward when there is monsoon season in South Carolina.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: He's actually suing us for$25 million.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: Mr.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: Rich will pass on your business and he will give you your name back.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: Great people.
0:52
SPEAKER_03: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:57
SPEAKER_03: And now here's Steve and Jeff.
1:00
SPEAKER_03: Well, thanks, Johnny and Jeff.
1:01
SPEAKER_03: Great to be here again.
1:02
SPEAKER_03: We're gonna get back into that big studio, Jeff.
1:05
SPEAKER_03: I can't wait.
1:06
SPEAKER_03: How's it going, Steve?
1:07
SPEAKER_03: Going great, Jeff.
1:08
SPEAKER_03: You know, uh you look a little different today.
1:10
SPEAKER_02: I think you know that periodically I've had some problems with my nose, my new nose.
1:15
SPEAKER_02: It's not new anymore.
1:16
SPEAKER_02: But Jennifer's nose.
1:17
SPEAKER_03: Jennifer's old nose, your new nose.
1:19
SPEAKER_02: Jennifer's old nose.
1:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, I think a lot of it had to do with when I had COVID.
1:23
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you remember, and it just took a lot out of my nose or put a lot into my nose, or you know, I gotta tell you, Jeff, it looked better on Jennifer.
1:31
SPEAKER_03: It really did.
1:31
SPEAKER_02: So this weekend, I was Dr.
1:33
SPEAKER_02: Reinerstein scheduled sort of an emergency nose replacement procedure.
1:38
SPEAKER_02: We did it at the public library.
1:40
SPEAKER_02: You know what's funny about those libraries now?
1:42
SPEAKER_02: Hardly anybody's there to read books, so it was great.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: We were able to get a room, and I was able to just lay down on one of those conference tables.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: Dr.
1:51
SPEAKER_02: Reinerstein, it was good to see him again.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, oh yeah, did a great job, and he didn't even charge me for the replacement.
1:56
SPEAKER_02: I didn't realize, Steve, I still had a warranty with him that was uh gonna be up soon.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: But but uh it was good.
2:03
SPEAKER_02: And so what about you?
2:04
SPEAKER_02: Uh, how was your weekend?
2:05
SPEAKER_03: Had a really kind of interesting weekend.
2:07
SPEAKER_03: It was my dad's 90th birthday.
2:09
SPEAKER_03: I haven't talked a lot about this, but you know, my dad, he was a little upset when my mom got pregnant from faux Jerry or faux dad, you know, and had little Stevie at age 90.
2:20
SPEAKER_03: Well, he just turned 90, he's a little slightly younger than my mom, and she was always kind of in charge anyway, to tell you the truth.
2:26
SPEAKER_03: But he's he's a few months younger, so he just turned 90 now.
2:29
SPEAKER_03: But he left, he took off when she got pregnant, and you know, he's wandering around chasing babes, drunk, you know.
2:38
SPEAKER_03: I heard Vegas, but who knows?
2:40
SPEAKER_03: I don't know where he is.
2:41
SPEAKER_03: It was his 90th birthday, and we wanted to do something.
2:43
SPEAKER_03: We couldn't reach him because we have no idea where he is, but we had a little party in absentia.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
2:49
SPEAKER_03: Well, actually, we had it at my mom's house, but it was kind of in absentia.
2:52
SPEAKER_03: She doesn't live there, she lives in in Omaha here, but but I digress.
2:56
SPEAKER_03: It was a great party, you know.
2:57
SPEAKER_03: We all told favorite stories about my dad and one of my uncles, who I don't like to talk about much, but because he's he's got he might know your dad from prison, but you know, he's he was he was there, he's out now.
3:08
SPEAKER_03: He's he's old.
3:09
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, they let him go finally, he can barely walk.
3:11
SPEAKER_03: What's he gonna do?
3:12
SPEAKER_03: Right, you know, so they they finally let him go, and he uh told this story that I had never heard.
3:17
SPEAKER_03: My dad, before he became this kind of wandering drunk, he was a judge.
3:22
SPEAKER_03: He was actually a judge.
3:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I remember that kind of a high-profile judge, too.
3:26
SPEAKER_02: Didn't he do a lot of a lot of murder cases and stuff?
3:30
SPEAKER_03: Did a ton of murder cases, and he was in criminal court for years, a couple of decades.
3:34
SPEAKER_03: He was in criminal court.
3:36
SPEAKER_03: And my uncle was talking about this one trial.
3:37
SPEAKER_03: And the only reason my uncle saw the trial is my uncle's trial was in the courtroom next door, and there was they were on a break, so he came over.
3:43
SPEAKER_03: He says, Well, I'll watch my brother for a little bit, you know.
3:46
SPEAKER_03: So he was in there.
3:47
SPEAKER_03: So you know, my dad's my dad's the judge in this trial.
3:50
SPEAKER_03: Guys charged with murdering his wife and kids, right?
3:53
SPEAKER_03: This god, bad dude, right?
3:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, after a couple days of trial, pretty clear this guy is a bench trial because no jury would ever side with this guy.
4:03
SPEAKER_03: So, of course, it was a bench trial.
4:04
SPEAKER_03: And my dad is, you know, you could tell.
4:06
SPEAKER_03: I you you know, my uncle was saying, you looked at him, you knew he said, Oh, you're guilty, you're guilty.
4:10
SPEAKER_03: You know, he just knew it, right?
4:12
SPEAKER_03: You could tell, I mean, plenty of evidence, right?
4:14
SPEAKER_03: So trials near the end.
4:16
SPEAKER_03: You know, this lawyer's going on and on and on with some questioning.
4:19
SPEAKER_03: My dad interrupts him, turns to the the murderer, you know, and says, Uh-huh, look, you know what?
4:23
SPEAKER_03: I got some good news and I got some bad news.
4:26
SPEAKER_03: Courtroom absolutely silent, you know, didn't need to wrap the gavel.
4:30
SPEAKER_03: Boy, no, nobody's talking there.
4:32
SPEAKER_03: So this murderer says, Well, hey, what's the bad news, your honor?
4:36
SPEAKER_03: Called him your honor.
4:37
SPEAKER_03: He tried a curry favor, too late, too little, too late, but I digressed.
4:41
SPEAKER_03: So he says, What's the bad news?
4:42
SPEAKER_03: So my dad says, Bad news is your blood is all over the crime scene.
4:47
SPEAKER_03: They did DNA tests.
4:49
SPEAKER_03: It's you, you're guilty.
4:51
SPEAKER_03: So then the guy says, Well, you know, what's the good news?
4:54
SPEAKER_03: My dad says, Oh, the good news is your cholesterol is 130.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: Very healthy guy.
4:58
SPEAKER_03: I mean, he's probably still alive in prison.
5:00
SPEAKER_03: That was a long time ago.
5:01
SPEAKER_03: He's probably in there lifting weights or something, you know.
5:04
SPEAKER_03: So everybody starts laughing, you know.
5:05
SPEAKER_03: Funniest thing they'd ever heard, especially during the murder trial.
5:09
SPEAKER_03: Problem is the defense asked for a mistrial.
5:11
SPEAKER_03: So the guy went free, but he got arrested again.
5:13
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, he is in jail, but he got arrested again, but he got off for that one.
5:17
SPEAKER_03: The supervising judge didn't like it.
5:19
SPEAKER_03: Thought it was a little too flippant.
5:21
SPEAKER_03: I thought it was pretty funny.
5:23
SPEAKER_02: No sense of humor.
5:24
SPEAKER_03: No sense, uh, these guys have no sense of humor.
5:26
SPEAKER_03: They suspended him from being judge for a year.
5:29
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
5:30
SPEAKER_03: So that's it.
5:30
SPEAKER_03: That's when he kind of picked up the mowing the lawn habit.
5:33
SPEAKER_03: But he had a great sense of humor.
5:34
SPEAKER_03: I thought it was a great joke.
5:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I remember your dad.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: And your dad always had a good sense of humor.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: So he did.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: I think that would be hilarious.
5:41
SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like telling jokes at a funeral, you know?
5:44
SPEAKER_02: And it's like everyone's so serious.
5:46
SPEAKER_02: You say something funny.
5:47
SPEAKER_02: It's it's even funnier.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: It's even funnier.
5:51
SPEAKER_03: It's even funnier because you're not supposed to laugh.
5:53
SPEAKER_03: That's why it's so funny, you know?
5:55
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
5:55
SPEAKER_03: Something funny happens.
5:56
SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh, it's hilarious.
5:58
SPEAKER_03: You know, thinking about my dad's sense of humor, I I can't help but think that maybe there's some genetic connection to sense of humor.
6:06
SPEAKER_03: Maybe I inherited that sense of humor from my dad.
6:09
SPEAKER_03: That started me thinking, you remember last season we had that geneticist on, uh, Dr.
6:14
SPEAKER_03: Xenia Goldfarb.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: Was that during the time when I was when I had my surgery on my nose?
6:18
SPEAKER_03: Uh I think it was right after you had the opera, you had the first operation, yeah.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I think I was struggling.
6:24
SPEAKER_02: I my nose was covered with bandages, and I remember that was a tough uh episode.
6:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you had a lot of problems communicating, but boy, Dr.
6:32
SPEAKER_03: Goldfarb was all over it.
6:34
SPEAKER_03: And I think it'd be nice for the millions.
6:36
SPEAKER_03: Let's face it, Jeff, the millions who probably haven't heard the Xenia Goldfarb episode, because hey, nobody goes back and listens to the early episodes, right?
6:44
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's too much work.
6:45
SPEAKER_03: No, I'm just gonna listen to the new, you know.
6:48
SPEAKER_03: Come on, come on, what's that?
6:49
SPEAKER_03: I think we should bring back kind of the guts of the show, not the whole show, but the guts of the show, you know what I mean?
6:55
SPEAKER_03: And when I say gut, I don't mean literally guts, like that murderer that my dad was making the joke about, but you know, the core, the graviman of the show, if you will.
7:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think we should play it, Steve.
7:06
SPEAKER_02: And I just remember her accent was really cool.
7:09
SPEAKER_02: Uh sure was smart lady, smart lady.
7:12
SPEAKER_03: She was very smart.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, look.
7:14
SPEAKER_02: Don't you think we ought to play this episode?
7:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, let's listen to the show.
7:17
SPEAKER_03: Johnny, take us back to Dr.
7:19
SPEAKER_03: Xenia Goldfarb.
7:21
SPEAKER_05: Hello, Steve and Jeff.
7:23
SPEAKER_05: Hello.
7:23
SPEAKER_03: Hey, you know, that is an amazing name you've got, Doctor.
7:26
SPEAKER_03: Uh Xenia Goldfarb.
7:27
SPEAKER_03: You know, I think I I knew somebody with a similar name, and maybe you're related.
7:30
SPEAKER_03: It was Xeniaphobia.
7:31
SPEAKER_05: No, because um people are not typically related by their first names, it is usually a surname relation.
7:39
SPEAKER_03: See, these geneticists just know so much.
7:42
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that was amazing.
7:43
SPEAKER_03: That's amazing insight.
7:44
SPEAKER_03: What area of genetics do you really do you focus in?
7:47
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, well, I like to consider myself a bit of a renaissance geneticist.
7:53
SPEAKER_05: I'd like to dabble here and there in the botanical geneticism, human genetics, and also I don't like to talk about this in public, but um, just between the the three of us.
8:09
SPEAKER_05: I have been studying paleogenetics.
8:13
SPEAKER_03: That really will stay just between the three of us because of course none of the listeners will ever say a word about this.
8:19
SPEAKER_03: Paleogenetics is that for old people?
8:21
SPEAKER_03: Because we're old.
8:22
SPEAKER_03: Maybe that would work for us.
8:24
SPEAKER_05: You know, it might benefit you, and certainly I think that there is a lot we can learn from the past, and not so much from the future.
8:33
SPEAKER_05: I think the future is overrated.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: Do we have her guest on yet?
8:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, she's right the other side of the glass.
8:39
SPEAKER_03: See, look, she's waving.
8:41
SPEAKER_03: There she is.
8:42
SPEAKER_03: Hi, Jess was wide.
8:43
SPEAKER_03: Hello.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: Hi, look, she's yeah, that's her.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: From what I'm detecting, you're a gynecologist.
8:48
SPEAKER_05: No, this could almost be no further from the truth.
8:53
SPEAKER_05: I am a geneticist, I work with the genome, and I don't like to spend too much time in women's private parts.
9:04
SPEAKER_03: Genome, now that's that's like that travelosity thing.
9:07
SPEAKER_03: The this the travelocity genome.
9:09
SPEAKER_03: The travelosity genome, yeah.
9:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
9:11
SPEAKER_05: Yes, yes.
9:12
SPEAKER_05: It's like that in that it isn't.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: So are you are you a scientist then?
9:18
SPEAKER_01: Is that fair to say?
9:20
SPEAKER_05: That's incredibly fair of you to say, Jeff.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: Good.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: So are you a scientist, like a real scientist?
9:26
SPEAKER_01: Because I know and are you a doctor?
9:29
SPEAKER_01: Because there's a lot of different kinds of doctors.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: Are you a real doctor then?
9:33
SPEAKER_05: I yes, I have a real PhD in uh both genetics and paleontology.
9:40
SPEAKER_01: So when you studied in college, were you studying to be a like a degree at scientist?
9:47
SPEAKER_05: Yes, uh, that's that is correct.
9:49
SPEAKER_05: I took many years of college.
9:51
SPEAKER_05: I also took a skip year to work in in the Disney College program in Orlando, Florida.
9:59
SPEAKER_03: Oh, wow.
10:00
SPEAKER_03: Lots of animal genetics there, I bet.
10:02
SPEAKER_03: You know, mouse.
10:03
SPEAKER_05: They have an entire animal kingdom.
10:06
SPEAKER_03: You know, genetics at Disney, is it true that they clone those employees and they they're not like actual, well, I guess they're people, but they're not like people you would ever meet.
10:15
SPEAKER_03: They're just like Disney clones.
10:17
SPEAKER_05: That is correct.
10:18
SPEAKER_05: That is, in fact, why they are legally obligated to call them cast members and not employees.
10:23
SPEAKER_05: Uh-huh.
10:24
SPEAKER_05: It's the same way that Kraft has to say cheese product because the singles are not what you could legally refer to as cheese.
10:33
SPEAKER_03: It lacks enough cheese to be called actual cheese.
10:36
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, exactly.
10:37
SPEAKER_05: And the the employees at Disney lack the human biology to be called employees.
10:44
SPEAKER_03: Wow, no wonder they're always smiling.
10:46
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
10:47
SPEAKER_05: They have been genetically engineered to be cheerful and helpful in at all times.
10:52
SPEAKER_03: And Jeff, I you're you're you're you're smiling a lot there, Jeff.
10:55
SPEAKER_03: I think you're I think those are still see.
10:58
SPEAKER_03: Well, I yeah, it's kind of under the bandages a little bit, but it looks like you're smiling or you're you're asleep, maybe.
11:04
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
11:05
SPEAKER_05: Jeff, as a doctor, I'm concerned about the work that has been done to your face.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: I I haven't actually had the surgery yet, so you know Oh, this is the before.
11:15
SPEAKER_01: This is the before, yeah.
11:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: Velvita, is that your last name?
11:22
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: Velvita.
11:24
SPEAKER_03: So the cheese was an unrelated conversation.
11:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, okay, okay.
11:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's although I do know somebody named Velvita.
11:30
SPEAKER_03: Should we we should bring her on too?
11:31
SPEAKER_03: But anyway, but I digress.
11:33
SPEAKER_03: No, go ahead.
11:33
SPEAKER_05: I think I think she's Dr.
11:35
SPEAKER_05: Velvita is a colleague of mine.
11:37
SPEAKER_03: Oh that's how I know her.
11:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yes, yes, yeah.
11:41
SPEAKER_05: Yes, you've probably seen her.
11:42
SPEAKER_05: Um, we have our little scientist cookouts once a month in my backyard.
11:48
SPEAKER_03: They use these really cool lasers.
11:49
SPEAKER_03: I, you know, because I I live near Dr.
11:51
SPEAKER_03: Goldfarb.
11:52
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you knew that.
11:53
SPEAKER_03: We're kind of neighbors, and I I see they use these lasers.
11:55
SPEAKER_03: I mean, they don't use charcoal or no, no, no.
11:57
SPEAKER_03: They put this thing on a grill and they just turn on a laser and zap it, you know, and it's done in like 10 seconds.
12:03
SPEAKER_03: It's crazy.
12:03
SPEAKER_05: It's more ecologically friendly to to laser your meat.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:09
SPEAKER_01: I always try to laser my meat as often.
12:12
SPEAKER_03: That got you in trouble a few times, didn't it?
12:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it really has.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:16
SPEAKER_05: Is that what they're going to do to your face?
12:17
SPEAKER_05: Will they be lasering your face meat?
12:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm not quite sure, but I'm hoping they will.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: But related to that, I have a question for you.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: I have role models, Steve and I, you know, have role models in the talk show podcast category.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: And I was just wondering of these three scientists, which one do you think you are closest to being like or that you respect?
12:43
SPEAKER_01: Um it brown from Back to the Future, Josh Brown from Star Trek or Ross Geller from Fred.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: I think he was a scientist.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: I, of course, since I will have Jennifer Addison knows you know, big fan of Ross Geller.
13:03
SPEAKER_03: You know, in fact, not only was he a scientist, I think he has something to do with paleo.
13:07
SPEAKER_03: He was on the paleo diet or something.
13:08
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
13:09
SPEAKER_05: Actually, yes, I think of those three, I would be closest to Ross Geller.
13:14
SPEAKER_05: And I, in fact, I took uh uh on I took an online survey on which friends character are you?
13:20
SPEAKER_03: Oh, and those are those are really accurate.
13:22
SPEAKER_05: Those are I came up with Ross Geller, yeah.
13:25
SPEAKER_05: And it I had to have a deep philosophical meltdown with that because he's widely regarded as the least likable friend.
13:33
SPEAKER_03: See, I took that same test and I thought I was gonna get Ross because I'm all over Ross.
13:38
SPEAKER_03: I I kept getting Chandler.
13:39
SPEAKER_03: I don't know, I I can't understand it.
13:41
SPEAKER_05: You got real Chandler Bing energy.
13:44
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I yeah, well, maybe that's it.
13:46
SPEAKER_03: Maybe that's it.
13:46
SPEAKER_03: Maybe and I might get it from the same place, but I digress.
13:49
SPEAKER_05: Jeff, I I see you as a Gunther, a Gunther.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: I I like that character too.
13:55
SPEAKER_01: I was considering Gunther's nose as an option at one point, but Gunther made some great coffee, you know.
14:02
SPEAKER_03: Laugh if you will, but that coffee that was darn good.
14:05
SPEAKER_05: His coffee was impeccable.
14:07
SPEAKER_05: I mean, they couldn't stop frequenting the coffee place for his famous brew.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
14:14
SPEAKER_01: The other obvious question that I have for you, I think you probably get this a million times.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: Is science just a left-wing conspiracy to make people promote evolution?
14:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, it's a little heavy question.
14:28
SPEAKER_01: Incisive.
14:29
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
14:30
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
14:31
SPEAKER_05: Well, I I think it's a I I think conspiracy is a heavy term.
14:36
SPEAKER_05: It implies that there was a lot of thought put into it, a lot of layers of mechanics involved.
14:42
SPEAKER_05: And in fact, uh, you know, it's just that uh evolution is good and correct, and you should believe in it or you should die.
14:51
SPEAKER_03: See, that's a great thing about our podcast, Jeff, is we we really touch on the big issues, like life, existence.
14:58
SPEAKER_03: I gotta ask, since you're you're looking, you're learning from the past, uh, the paleogeneticism.
15:04
SPEAKER_03: Are you working on a machine for time travel?
15:07
SPEAKER_05: Uh would that that were true.
15:09
SPEAKER_05: Time travel is a myth uh created by fiction writers who are, in my opinion, the lowest form of author.
15:18
SPEAKER_05: I think it's a cheat, really, to travel back in time and just to observe the thing.
15:25
SPEAKER_05: It takes almost no effort, you know.
15:27
SPEAKER_05: It'd be the same thing as uh if you were to to study the weather just by standing outside of your own door and pointing up at the sky and saying it's cloudy out.
15:37
SPEAKER_05: It it takes no work at all.
15:39
SPEAKER_05: I prefer to really dig into it, literally and figuratively burrow into the earth to find artifacts of the past, to then educate us in the present.
15:51
SPEAKER_03: Well, Doctor, if time travel is fake, then I'm not really from the future.
15:57
SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry, Steve.
15:58
SPEAKER_05: Do you think that you're from the future?
16:00
SPEAKER_03: Well, I did.
16:02
SPEAKER_03: Maybe I don't know.
16:03
SPEAKER_03: Gosh, if I'm not from the future, I got I got a few phone calls I gotta make later.
16:07
SPEAKER_03: Man, I'm gonna start making a list, but I kind of thought I was, but wow.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, Steve, we've known each other for 50 years.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: I I thought you were from the future.
16:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: All long.
16:17
SPEAKER_01: I remember when we first met.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: It seemed like it was in the future 50 years ago, which probably would have aided about half.
16:25
SPEAKER_03: You remember when we first met, first time we met, I don't know if you remember this, but I do.
16:30
SPEAKER_03: First time we met, that was 1971, I want to say, something like that, right?
16:35
SPEAKER_03: 1971.
16:36
SPEAKER_03: And I asked you, hey, have you Googled that?
16:39
SPEAKER_03: And you said, What the hell?
16:42
SPEAKER_03: But the F you talking about, there you go.
16:44
SPEAKER_03: See, how'd I even know that?
16:45
SPEAKER_05: How'd I know that word?
16:46
SPEAKER_05: This is fascinating, Steve.
16:48
SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry that we have not spent more time as neighbors because you've opened up a new window uh into the very fabric of reality as we know it, and I must know more.
17:01
SPEAKER_05: How how and forgive me if this has been covered before on your podcast, but what is the means of transport that you have come from the future back into 1971?
17:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, actually, Steve, I think it was covered in a future episode.
17:17
SPEAKER_01: I think it was of our podcast.
17:19
SPEAKER_05: Oh, now we're getting into a real uh paradox here.
17:23
SPEAKER_03: It was it we did that broadcast, I don't know, 2029, I think it was.
17:28
SPEAKER_03: And yeah, it'll be on the website.
17:30
SPEAKER_03: Well, you might have to wait about oh, I don't know, about seven years, I guess, but it might be on the website.
17:35
SPEAKER_01: How does my nose look, Steve?
17:37
SPEAKER_03: And in that episode, Jeff, I I'd had a couple of scotches before the the thing.
17:42
SPEAKER_03: I usually don't do that, but I had that night, and you know, I kind of thought you were Jennifer Aniston for a second.
17:47
SPEAKER_03: That's that's how good your nose was.
17:49
SPEAKER_04: In addition to the Jennifer Aniston nose, did he also have the haircut known as the Rachel?
17:55
SPEAKER_03: Oh see, that's how I that's how I knew it wasn't her because there was no Rachel.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: I think I remember when I signed the papers, I signed for a bundle, but I don't think the hair was the second part.
18:07
SPEAKER_01: I think it was my ankles that I had my ankles.
18:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you were lengthening the ankles.
18:11
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
18:12
SPEAKER_03: That's yeah.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: So I should have Steve, I should have put in that I wanted uh Rachel's hair.
18:17
SPEAKER_03: Well, that'll be an upcharge, I bet.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's a hot ticket item, it has to be.
18:22
SPEAKER_03: We got some more questions for the doctor here.
18:24
SPEAKER_04: We're gonna do some more talking, but I feel like I have more questions for you, but it's your show.
18:28
SPEAKER_04: Go ahead.
18:29
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, and and you know, yes about uh opening that window.
18:32
SPEAKER_03: I I tell you, as a neighbor, I don't mind you looking through that window.
18:34
SPEAKER_03: Let me tell you.
18:36
SPEAKER_03: Oh, thank you.
18:36
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I look through all my neighbors' windows, so I why shouldn't you?
18:39
SPEAKER_05: You know, if they didn't want us to look, they wouldn't have made glass clear.
18:44
SPEAKER_03: Why did they make windows?
18:45
SPEAKER_03: There you go.
18:45
SPEAKER_03: That's it, that's it exactly.
18:47
SPEAKER_03: Before we get to the more questions, Jeff, we got another sponsor.
18:52
SPEAKER_03: We're just we're just raking it in.
18:54
SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, this one we're not really raking it in because this one is a little different.
18:58
SPEAKER_03: This is actually a public service announcement.
19:01
SPEAKER_03: Guy at church came up to me and said, We're having a tough time getting people to come to church.
19:05
SPEAKER_03: And could you just run a public service announcement on your podcast to just to remind people, hey, go to church.
19:12
SPEAKER_03: Well, I said yeah, but then I started thinking, you know, they really need something more than just your PSA.
19:17
SPEAKER_03: Everybody doesn't know about church already.
19:19
SPEAKER_03: I mean, why?
19:19
SPEAKER_03: Come on, right?
19:20
SPEAKER_03: I mean, if you know, we're not informing anybody.
19:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're not informing anybody about anything, right?
19:25
SPEAKER_03: I think they needed something a little zippier.
19:27
SPEAKER_03: And Jeff, I know you remember, and Doctor, I don't know if you're old enough for this, but Jeff, I know you remember those great, great drag race commercials on WLS back when we were kids.
19:36
SPEAKER_03: I did, you know, so I started thinking about that, and I put a PSA form together, and we'll go to the commercial.
19:43
SPEAKER_03: We'll we'll be right back.
19:45
SPEAKER_03: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, it's fucking US 30 Cathedral.
19:50
SPEAKER_03: Watch the holiest folks in the country get together for a monster Sunday service.
19:54
SPEAKER_03: From Detroit, down the Nican Allen in his microfield funny car from Almondow, Pennsylvania, the Lee High Legend Lee Vale, and his dual exhaust twin blackster.
20:02
SPEAKER_03: From Chicago, see the shiny time customer stomp the gas metal on his 457 challenger.
20:07
SPEAKER_03: Mike the Mickey Mitchell in his rocket.
20:10
SPEAKER_03: And of course, from the architecture.
20:12
SPEAKER_03: Big daddy further funny kicks in his breakfast.
20:17
SPEAKER_03: If you only go to church once this year, this is the time travels at night, racing a ten, admission.
20:23
SPEAKER_03: Just one little dollar in the collection plate.
20:25
SPEAKER_03: Speed thrills, folks.
20:26
SPEAKER_03: So get your thrills Sunday, Sunday, Sunday at Smoking US 30 Cathedral, where the great ones pray.
20:33
SPEAKER_03: Pray.
20:34
SPEAKER_03: Pray.
20:40
SPEAKER_03: Well, I don't know about you guys, but I think that is really gonna bring people back to church.
20:44
SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
20:45
SPEAKER_03: I think that's just that's gonna be a religious revival.
20:48
SPEAKER_05: Steve, I must say, as a scientist, I am obliged to atheism, but boy, that commercial really wowed me.
20:57
SPEAKER_05: Like I wanted, I would just you will find my seat in the pew for that one.
21:02
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
21:02
SPEAKER_05: I've never been more excited for theology.
21:06
SPEAKER_03: So, doctor, it's studying the past, what have you found about the origins of humanity?
21:11
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that must be something.
21:12
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you're not really I mean, you're doing genetics versus you know, really history and that sort of thing, but what what have you discovered about the genetic origins of of us?
21:22
SPEAKER_05: Well, I found that humanity by and large was a humongous mistake.
21:29
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you're telling me.
21:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no doubt.
21:32
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it was really it's really just a a comedy of errors as far as uh genetics go.
21:38
SPEAKER_05: I mean, we we shouldn't have happened.
21:40
SPEAKER_05: It it shouldn't be like this at all.
21:42
SPEAKER_05: Any rational thought about humanity and and the society we've built, it crumbles upon any kind of uh uh you know consideration you give it.
21:51
SPEAKER_03: If it wasn't gonna be us, people, what was it gonna be like?
21:55
SPEAKER_03: What what would have been uh like a better result or a different result?
22:00
SPEAKER_05: Oh well, you know, in my findings, I think the superior life form would have been cats.
22:06
SPEAKER_03: I'm a big cat fan.
22:07
SPEAKER_03: I I could go for that.
22:08
SPEAKER_05: Cats are the really the only uh pets that we humans keep that are self-domesticated.
22:15
SPEAKER_05: We did not breed them into domestication the way we brought the wolf into the tiny Chihuahua dog.
22:21
SPEAKER_05: You know, the cat it found a weakness within humanity, and it it just it attacked that weak spot within our our very consciousness and it became a member of our homes.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: Wow, how how far back are we talking here?
22:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, are we talking like 10 years, 100 years?
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Like, how far back do you study this stuff?
22:44
SPEAKER_05: All the way back to the very dawn of man.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: Oh, wow.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: So because I had a cat, but I don't remember her.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you had a cat in the future, and you don't remember had a cat in the future, and you don't remember the future yet, but you did I have one?
23:00
SPEAKER_01: You you may yet to have a cat.
23:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, do I have one?
23:04
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: All I can tell you is in that 2029 podcast that we did, when you came into the studio, you had these little little short hairs on you.
23:12
SPEAKER_03: Now, don't care about your private life, but they could have been cat hairs, you know what I'm saying?
23:16
SPEAKER_05: I mean, that's a that's a study in biology all on its own.
23:19
SPEAKER_03: You know, if you wanted to study biology, you really got a couple of fruitful uh subjects here.
23:24
SPEAKER_05: I I'm still baffled by the notion that you are you you claim uh to be from the future.
23:31
SPEAKER_05: And I mean, are you existing simultaneously in different time periods or are you hopping around?
23:37
SPEAKER_03: It feels more like I'm hopping around, but I don't know because sometimes I'll wake up and I'll I'll say, Boy, I could really go for some zagimba, and I have no idea what that is, it hasn't been invented yet.
23:50
SPEAKER_03: And I realized, oh, zagimba's from you know, like the 2030s, they come out, it's uh it's like a breakfast drink, it's really good.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: And I know there's like a question whether Steve is you know making this up or whatever, but I just want to point out that Steve is always ahead of every meeting that we have scheduled.
24:08
SPEAKER_01: He's there 10 minutes before anybody else.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: And I I don't think he could do that if you don't know the future.
24:14
SPEAKER_05: As someone who has studied um humanity, I we are a chronically late and inconsiderate species.
24:22
SPEAKER_03: I couldn't agree more, Doc.
24:23
SPEAKER_03: And in fact, you know, that actually reminds me of something, Doc.
24:25
SPEAKER_03: You know, I just imagine we we are neighbors, of course, and you know, yeah, you know, kind of our backyards kind of sort of touch a little bit.
24:32
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I can see you out there doing the laser on the stakes and everything, but you know, doc, you just painted your fence.
24:38
SPEAKER_03: And I normally don't care what people do, but I mean that it's like a turquoise, it's like a turquoise fence.
24:45
SPEAKER_03: Oh, like I look out every day.
24:47
SPEAKER_03: I see this turquoise fence.
24:48
SPEAKER_03: It's like, why?
24:49
SPEAKER_03: Why the turquoise fence?
24:51
SPEAKER_05: I mean, it's I'm sorry, I didn't realize it had been an issue.
24:55
SPEAKER_05: It is my own private fence.
24:57
SPEAKER_05: It just so happens that turquoise is uh the same color as my uh lab coat.
25:04
SPEAKER_05: And I I'm trying to go for kind of a theme, you know.
25:07
SPEAKER_05: I I want my home to really reflect who I am inside and out.
25:12
SPEAKER_03: Turquoise, I don't have anything against the color per se.
25:16
SPEAKER_03: It sounds like you do Indian jewelry, beautiful, wonderful.
25:19
SPEAKER_03: Fences, eh, maybe not so wonderful.
25:22
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
25:22
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
25:22
SPEAKER_01: Goldfarm, I'd be careful to minimize what Steve is saying because he knows the future.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: And in the future, you may not like turquoise.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: I think he's trying to sort of nudge you in the right direction that this is a chance to kind of correct a mistake before you might regret it in the future.
25:41
SPEAKER_05: That's just fundamentally goes against everything I believe in.
25:44
SPEAKER_05: I will not let the future dictate how I live my life.
25:48
SPEAKER_05: I will let the past dictate how I live my life.
25:51
SPEAKER_05: But um, you know, I will make my own choices to color my fences however I darn well please.
25:57
SPEAKER_03: I would violate the prime directive if I really told you about the future.
26:01
SPEAKER_03: I'm not supposed to.
26:02
SPEAKER_04: Who is directing you?
26:03
SPEAKER_03: But let me just say, I I'm a little psychic and I'm I'm closing my eyes and I I see a day where there's no turquoise.
26:10
SPEAKER_03: There's none.
26:10
SPEAKER_03: Well, there still is a like the Indian jewelry, but elsewhere, no, no, it just doesn't exist.
26:16
SPEAKER_05: No turquoise at all.
26:17
SPEAKER_03: None.
26:18
SPEAKER_05: No, you're like this has been has been removed from the color spectrum.
26:22
SPEAKER_03: The corporation that owns your lab changed their lab coats to to I think dark like maroon or something.
26:27
SPEAKER_03: It's it's not better, it's just different, you know what I mean?
26:31
SPEAKER_05: No, how could they do this?
26:33
SPEAKER_03: I guess I broke the prime directive again.
26:37
SPEAKER_05: This is an outrage, doc.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: I I think that in fairness, here we are.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: You're an expert on the past, and Steve is talking about the future, and I think you're at a little bit of a disadvantage.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: So let me kind of bring you back to what you really know.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: So let me ask you this question of the three movies that Jennifer Anniston started, which one of the three do you think was the best?
27:02
SPEAKER_01: And those three are Horrible Bosses, one of my favorites, the movie, Horrible Bosses 2, also very good movie, and the Friends Reunion movie.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't think it made it to the movie theaters, but you know, I have a I have a private recording of it.
27:22
SPEAKER_01: And so from a historical standpoint, where do you put those in history?
27:27
SPEAKER_05: I mean, I no one can deny the historical impact that Horrible Bosses 2 had upon society.
27:35
SPEAKER_05: It's I mean, it were there to be a Horrible Bosses 3, Horrible Bosses 2 would be the godfather too of the Horrible Bosses trilogy.
27:44
SPEAKER_03: We are still feeling the reverberations of that movie, I'll tell you.
27:47
SPEAKER_05: I I think that's true, yes.
27:49
SPEAKER_03: I am sorry to say that we are just about out of time, but I want to think we've only just started talking about horrible bosses.
27:55
SPEAKER_03: Oh, well, uh Doctor, we could have you back.
27:58
SPEAKER_03: We and and we can talk further about that.
28:00
SPEAKER_03: And I might bring up the fence again, you know, it's possible.
28:03
SPEAKER_03: But he, but but listen, thanks for coming on.
28:05
SPEAKER_03: You were a great guest, and now here's Steve and Jeff.
28:09
SPEAKER_03: Jeff, it sounds like your nose is so much better now.
28:13
SPEAKER_02: Unbelievable, Steve, and what a coincidence that you know we're listening to this episode.
28:18
SPEAKER_02: I just feel like it's it's my whole life, or at least my nose's life, from beginning to middle to end.
28:24
SPEAKER_02: And I really enjoyed the episode, and I'm so glad I got this new procedure done.
28:28
SPEAKER_03: Oh, absolutely.
28:29
SPEAKER_03: I really enjoyed listening to that episode, and I'm just gonna always think about my dad and his sense of humor and the fact that his sense of humor let a murderer go free.
28:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, that's just bringing tears back in my eyes.
28:42
SPEAKER_03: That's special.
28:43
SPEAKER_03: You know, I mean, how many people can say that?
28:45
SPEAKER_02: At least that murderer can.
28:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:47
SPEAKER_03: I and my dad, wherever he is, dad, wherever you are, I know you're listening to the show.
28:52
SPEAKER_03: You know, happy birthday.
28:54
SPEAKER_03: Johnny, do we have anything for my dad for his birthday?
28:58
SPEAKER_03: Right, Steve.
28:59
SPEAKER_03: Your dad can ring in his 90s with a fully documented yet artificially created genealogy report showing that he and you, Steve, are related to Charlemagne, just like everyone else is.
29:12
SPEAKER_03: And if your dad wants onto the highway to happiness, we have something that can get him off the frontage road to nowhere.
29:20
SPEAKER_03: That's right, Cologne from Appropriation Station's new stem of our line.
29:25
SPEAKER_03: He'll feel like a new man, and the ladies will like it too.
29:29
SPEAKER_03: This box set contains a Tom Dar J Ling and three bottles of Lapsan chunk fragrance, which can cover up just about anything.
29:37
SPEAKER_03: Spell like a Russian buffet, courtesy of Appropriation Station, always taken by us.
29:44
SPEAKER_03: And of course, we have the home version of the Steve and Jeff Show, sure to be a huge hit with his Vegas pals.
29:50
SPEAKER_03: This is Johnny speaking.
29:52
SPEAKER_03: I don't think humanity was a mistake.
29:55
SPEAKER_03: I mean, without humanity, who would hire announcers?
29:59
SPEAKER_03: And how would I be able to hang out with Steve's mom?
30:02
SPEAKER_03: Steve's dad doesn't know what he's missing.
30:06
SPEAKER_03: I won't tell him.
30:08
SPEAKER_03: Good night.