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Transcript

What You Carry - and Who You Choose to Be: Introducing Expect and See™ · The Inspired Speaker Network

• 0:08
  Welcome to Evolving With Elle, where a capable woman recognizes what she's managing,
• 0:16
  understands the responsibilities that she's carrying, and chooses self-honoring over
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  self-abandonment, and decides to continue, change, or release. I am Elle. I bring the mirror,
• 0:34
  the map, and the method. You choose how you show up in a way that honors your capacity.
• 0:42
  So let's lean in, learn, and evolve together. You are back to Evolving With Elle,
• 0:51
  capable women carrying too much. Yes, we are all capable women.
• 1:01
  And as I shared with you in episode one about being on autopilot, second-guessing myself,
• 1:09
  and choosing what role, how to harmonize the different roles that I have,
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  what did that lead me to? I am so glad you asked. So what it led me to was understanding that
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  every relationship, every relationship, relationship with my boss, my children,
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  the co-parent, myself, was all important. Because by me recognizing that I am an open,
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  powerful, free woman, I got to, I get to walk in that. That's where I get to create results from.
• 2:05
  And I value connection, compassion, and love. So that is why I created this space
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  to connect with you, to offer you compassion that others may not give you. And sometimes,
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  let's be honest, we may not even give it to ourselves. And love, everyone has a different
• 2:44
  definition of that. And what I want to be able to say is, universally, we are to treat people
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  the way we want to be treated. And on this evolution journey that we're on together,
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  you get to remember how you want to be treated and treat people the same way.
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  So what have I been building? I have built a better relationship with my children.
• 3:30
  They gave me feedback. And you know what I did? I took their feedback, and I met them where they
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  are. And they have said to me, Mommy, you are going to sleep with a smile on your face.
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  And I'm like, yes, sweethearts, I am. Because I'm being fully me. My sense of humor. I'm joking with
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  you guys. We are able to talk. They bring to me things that I don't even have to ask them about
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  anymore. They just connect. And in my professional career, because yep, I still have that nine to
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  five job, I am understanding and walking in how to harmonize my full-time job, stay focused on that,
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  be a mother, be this entrepreneur. All the things. And then that other relationship that I know a lot
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  of us, if you are divorced, separated, that co-parenting situation, even if you're married,
• 4:49
  you are also co-parenting, by the way. So in that co-parenting relationship,
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  I am recognizing what's mine and what's theirs. And I'm not trying to control them,
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  nor am I allowing them to control me, because I'm standing in my power. And on this evolution
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  journey, everyone, you have that same opportunity to do the same thing. And I want to really say this.
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  You may look at me and say, oh, she's got it all figured out. She's got smooth sailing. She doesn't
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  understand what I'm going through. I hear you when you say that. And I recognize that in this
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  day and age, you are seeing me with a smile on my face and letting me tell you that my daughters
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  see me going to sleep with a smile on my face, right? Honestly, this is evolving with L,
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  meaning it is still present and ongoing. Okay? So with that present and ongoing evolution,
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  please know that there are still situations that are painful for me. I am by no means perfect.
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  We are really and truly in this together. And so I really appreciate you for that.
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  And as I am building and evolving and transforming myself, yep, said those,
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  what do you call that? Repeated myself. Synonymous terms. You'll hear me do that a lot. Okay. So my
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  framework is called expect and see expectancy, right? What happens when you are in expectancy?
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  It means that you have something that you expect to occur
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  and you wait and see what actually, and in the waiting to see what actually happens,
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  it's not this twiddle your thumbs, tap your foot. No, you are actually operating from who you are,
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  from your values and making decisions. You are choosing what you need to do.
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  So the expect and see framework has a mirror, a map, and a method.
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  So as we begin, we get to reflect. That's what the mirror is for. We reflect individually.
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  And as I shared with you guys earlier, we allow people to read our labels. So just imagine
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  that you had a bottle, right? It has a label. Does the water know what this label says?
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  No, it doesn't. So someone has to read your label to you because in this time where you are
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  overwhelmed and you're just trying to balance everything and you're second guessing yourself,
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  you may have self-abandoned because you think that that's what you're supposed to do in
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  particular roles, whether it's at work or as a mother. And someone gets to tell you, hey,
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  Danielle, Susan, Elle, this is how I see you. And you get to reflect on their label reading
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  and say, do I agree or do I disagree? You don't have to take the feedback. You always have a
• 9:45
  choice here. That's the one thing that I value highly is our ability to choose as human beings.
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  And for so long, we may have forgotten that we actually have the power to choose.
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  And that is huge in this expectancy framework. So as you look in the mirror and reflect and as
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  other people read your label, you get to say, I like it, don't like it. Maybe you need to table
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  it, come back to it later. All of those are important. And then the map, the map, of course,
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  has so many different directions that you can go in. And as I share my journey, whether it is through
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  grief, parenting, having a full-time job, choosing to also become an entrepreneur,
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  working in different relationships, I'm going to share with you guys my journey, the path I chose.
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  And then you get to, like, oh, I hadn't thought of that. Let me see how I can
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  take what Elle has shared and make it work for me. Again, it's your choice.
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  And then the method. It's a method, ladies. It's the manner in which you can continue to choose
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  and be and evolve. And as with any method, there's always more than one way. And you get to choose
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  that. You get to choose the manner that works for you. That's important. And you are on your
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  journey. You are honoring yourself, your capacity, through every step you take on this journey.
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  Again, you're not alone on this journey of transformation, of taking huge leaps and strides
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  that you may not have ever thought possible. And you can also take micro steps.
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  Everything doesn't have to be big because in stepping into a new place, a new way of thinking,
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  stepping out of the familiar and into the unfamiliar, you may have to take
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  micro steps, not baby steps, micro steps. And in this community of capable women
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  who have been carrying too much, we get to support you. You choose how to evolve.
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  And you are not doing it alone. So just as I had to do, trust the process,
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  be uncomfortable, excuse me, be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
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  Step into the unknown. Did you listen to that song from Frozen? Into the unknown is where we're
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  going. That's where we're going to create. That's where we get to have a structure that we
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  get to flow within and harmonize from who we are deep inside the core of our humanness. That's
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  where we are evolving from. And you get to create results from that place. Keep listening to your
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  homework.