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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: How To Trust Your Gut & Make Difficult Decisions · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, EMILYA Badi here, you're listening to five Minute
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Friday from Hurdle.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: What a week?
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  Speaker 1: I feel like I start every frid Minute Friday by saying,
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  Speaker 1: what a week? But this has been a good week
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  Speaker 1: for me, and I really feel like I needed a
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: good week. I don't want this to be the subject
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  Speaker 1: of today's episode, but I have been making it a
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  Speaker 1: point and I tried to do this most of the time,
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  Speaker 1: but very intentional over looking for the good lately. I
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  Speaker 1: was candidly just struggling at the beginning of the year,
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  Speaker 1: and I got to a point. And this often happens
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  Speaker 1: when we are in need of change and maybe aren't
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  Speaker 1: at a point yet where we want to admit it.
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  Speaker 1: Staying where I was was more painful than making the change,
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  Speaker 1: and so I decided to make some changes, and I
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  Speaker 1: decided to start seeking the joy actively. I write about
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  Speaker 1: this in the Weekly Hurdle today. But noticing where there's
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  Speaker 1: good around me and paying attention to that, being in
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  Speaker 1: the elevator and seeing two cute snorting bulldogs on my
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  Speaker 1: way out for my run this morning. On the run
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  Speaker 1: this morning, seeing I think there were toolips that were
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  Speaker 1: about to come out from under the ground, like the
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  Speaker 1: smallest peep of yellow.
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  Speaker 2: Coming up over the soil.
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  Speaker 1: Seeing a man that I had once, I was finishing
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  Speaker 1: a run and he was finishing on a run and
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  Speaker 1: he said, I'll race you to the corner. We did
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  Speaker 1: not know each other, and we raced each other to
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  Speaker 1: the corner and we laughed about it and it was
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  Speaker 1: really sweet. And I saw him on my run today
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  Speaker 1: and he said, have a great run, and that was
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  Speaker 1: just so delightful. So I am paying attention and seeking joy.
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  Speaker 1: And I find that when I do that, it comes
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  Speaker 1: back to me. I say it all the time time.
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  Speaker 1: Energy attracts like energy, and when I choose to seek joy,
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  Speaker 1: then my thoughts are positive too. So as I'm on
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  Speaker 1: my run, I have this thought, and maybe it sounds
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  Speaker 1: a little woo woo, but I just have this moment
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  Speaker 1: that I think, well, now's my chance to start over.
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  Speaker 1: And I recognize that every second, every minute, you don't
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  Speaker 1: need to wait for a January first, or the first
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  Speaker 1: of any month, or even a new day. You can
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  Speaker 1: start over with whatever you are navigating right now, something
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  Speaker 1: that might be frustrating you, something that you might feel
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  Speaker 1: caught up in. Listen to me when I say that
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  Speaker 1: right now, you can start fresh if you choose to
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  Speaker 1: make that decision, and that decision, yes, I understand, there
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  Speaker 1: might be some caveats I understand, but you can make
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  Speaker 1: that decision most of the time, and that feels really great.
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  Speaker 1: So I encourage you to do that. I encourage you
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  Speaker 1: to seek joy in your day to day. I actually
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  Speaker 1: wanted to make today's Five Minute Friday about a listener
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  Speaker 1: question that came in, so you can think of this
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  Speaker 1: as me segueing now into the listener question, but really
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  Speaker 1: I'm just going to talk about it for a few minutes.
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  Speaker 1: The listener question specifically, Hi, Emily, I've been listening since
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  Speaker 1: twenty seventeen.
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  Speaker 2: Six exclamation points. Love you for this.
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  Speaker 1: My question for you is, how do you know if
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  Speaker 1: a decision is right? For example, interviewing for new jobs
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  Speaker 1: or opportunities. I tend to get hesitant because I can
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  Speaker 1: be a bit too comfortable where I'm at right now
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  Speaker 1: or scared of change. But question is, how do you
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  Speaker 1: determine what your gut instinct is telling you? How do
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  Speaker 1: you know if the decision is right? Any advice would
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  Speaker 1: be much appreciated. Thank you so much, Taylor, Taylor this
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  Speaker 1: is so good. I can tell you that I have
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  Speaker 1: literally been in this same questioning position, especially when it
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  Speaker 1: comes to deciding about a job change, so I can
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  Speaker 1: sympathize with the nerves that go hand in hand with
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  Speaker 1: making a big decision like this.
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  Speaker 2: They call it gut instinct. I don't know if you
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  Speaker 2: know this.
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  Speaker 1: Gut instinct is actually a term that's rooted on this
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  Speaker 1: concept of the mind gut connection, the signals that pass
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  Speaker 1: between your gastrone testinal system and your nervous system, and
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  Speaker 1: you will likely experience when you are nervous or trying
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  Speaker 1: to make a big decision, or you're feeling really anxious,
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  Speaker 1: your stomach is in knots that I'm using air quotes
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  Speaker 1: here because of this connection. So naturally, when you are
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  Speaker 1: making a decision that makes you uncomfortable, there are going
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  Speaker 1: to be feelings like you listed, being hesitant, being scared, feeling.
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  Speaker 2: A little bit all over the place.
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  Speaker 1: Right now, even though it's difficult, when you're making the
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  Speaker 1: right decision, there are a few things that will happen.
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  Speaker 1: First and foremost, you will recognize or be able to
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  Speaker 1: recognize that the decision that you are making aligns with
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  Speaker 1: your core values. If you've never taken a step back
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  Speaker 1: to ask yourself, what are my core values? You can
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  Speaker 1: literally go on Google Google values. I know it sounds silly,
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  Speaker 1: but google it. Write down ten to fifteen words that
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  Speaker 1: resonate with you, and then when you're making these difficult decisions,
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  Speaker 1: you will notice that they fall in line with the
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  Speaker 1: things that are important to you the direction that you're
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  Speaker 1: going in. If you recognize that it doesn't align with
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  Speaker 1: your core values, then you have to ask yourself, what
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  Speaker 1: is it that's pulling me toward this thing? If it's
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  Speaker 1: not indicative of what I care about or who I am.
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  Speaker 1: The next thing that you'll realize is that even though
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  Speaker 1: you may feel nervous when you're making a decision that
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  Speaker 1: is in alignment for you, you will feel relief period. I
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  Speaker 1: know this might sound a little weird, but fear and
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  Speaker 1: excitement can feel the same in your body. So you
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  Speaker 1: need to really pay close attention to whether you are
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  Speaker 1: scared because this is something that is new for you,
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  Speaker 1: or simply because it is something that is wrong, something
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  Speaker 1: again that doesn't feel aligned. Okay, so both of those
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  Speaker 1: things are important when it comes to making big decisions.
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  Speaker 1: There are a few things that I will advise you
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  Speaker 1: in the first thing is take a second to recognize,
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  Speaker 1: like what your triggers are, what are your biggest fears
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  Speaker 1: When you are in fear mode, ask yourself what's happening here?
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  Speaker 1: Is that fear causing you to feel overwhelmed? Are you procrastinating?
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  Speaker 1: Are you over analyzing? And rather than judge whatever is
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  Speaker 1: happening in this moment, simply recognize it. Just state it
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  Speaker 1: as this is how I'm feeling in this moment. And note,
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  Speaker 1: this is how I'm feeling in this moment. It is
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  Speaker 1: not I am overwhelmed. It is I feel overwhelmed recognizing
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  Speaker 1: that there is some distance between you and that is
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  Speaker 1: a feeling, It is not a state fact.
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  Speaker 2: Period.
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  Speaker 1: The next thing you can do is do something to
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  Speaker 1: deliberately calm your nervous system. So, whether that is something
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  Speaker 1: as simple as taking a walk around the block or
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  Speaker 1: doing four rounds of box breath, which I've talked about
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  Speaker 1: is a technique that I love, love, love so many
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  Speaker 1: times over here on the show. Do something to really
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  Speaker 1: reset the mind and calm down a little bit so
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  Speaker 1: that you can come to your decision making process with
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  Speaker 1: a more level approach.
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  Speaker 2: The next thing I want you to do.
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  Speaker 1: Is I want you to ask yourself a very valuable question,
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  Speaker 1: what is my goal here? What is the desired outcome?
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  Speaker 1: When you shift to what is my goal here and
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  Speaker 1: thinking about what it is that you want out of this,
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  Speaker 1: you start to get to a place where you're less
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  Speaker 1: attached to whether or not the decision is quote unquote
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  Speaker 1: right and more attached to what is best for insert
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  Speaker 1: your name here? So what is best for Emily? If
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  Speaker 1: I'm talking to myself, so you're asking yourselves questions like
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  Speaker 1: what is it that I want to feel? Like? What
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  Speaker 1: is it that I want to achieve? If you are
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  Speaker 1: in the situation as you described, deciding on a very
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  Speaker 1: big job or between two different jobs, break down what
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  Speaker 1: is it that I am looking for?
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  Speaker 2: Period?
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  Speaker 1: Do I want something like the opportunity to be more creative?
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  Speaker 1: Do I want job security? Is money a factor here?
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  Speaker 1: There are so many different things that can go into
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  Speaker 1: your decision making process to help you really decipher what
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  Speaker 1: is right for you. There are so many more tips
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  Speaker 1: I could provide here, but the last thing that I
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  Speaker 1: will say is twofold. When making any big decision, you've
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  Speaker 1: got to give yourself some grace and you've got to
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  Speaker 1: give yourself some time, right, So, I know that we
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  Speaker 1: don't always have the gift of time. But with that said,
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  Speaker 1: if you need time to sleep on something, sleep on something,
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  Speaker 1: know that ninety nine percent of the time, someone else's
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  Speaker 1: urgency isn't really your problem. In that if you were
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  Speaker 1: in the fight up against a deadline to say hi,
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  Speaker 1: I really could use a night to make my decision,
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  Speaker 1: I almost guarantee you that that person will meet you
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  Speaker 1: with where you're at. It really isn't that crucial most
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  Speaker 1: of the time. And the second thing I said there, grace.
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  Speaker 1: Grace is so important. It isn't easy. If it was easy,
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  Speaker 1: it wouldn't be such a hard decision. So be kind
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  Speaker 1: to yourself, speak nice to yourself. Recognize that there are
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  Speaker 1: people around you every single day that are making difficult decisions,
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  Speaker 1: that are trying to figure out what's right for them.
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  Speaker 1: And know that although trusting your gut might not feel easy,
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  Speaker 1: you will never regret taking the time to do this
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  Speaker 1: kind of inquiry to get to know yourself better, because
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  Speaker 1: when you do, the next time you are faced with
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  Speaker 1: a truly difficult decision, you'll have some of these tools
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  Speaker 1: in your toolbox ready and waiting to help you on
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  Speaker 1: your way. I hope this helps I understand again. Difficult
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  Speaker 1: decisions are not easy for anyone, But it's just like
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  Speaker 1: strengthening a regular muscle. How does muscle strengthen you give
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  Speaker 1: it something to push up against? How does your will
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  Speaker 1: strengthen you give it something to push up against? Make
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  Speaker 1: sure you're following along with Hurdle Over at Hurdle podcast.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: I am over at Emily a Body. I love your
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  Speaker 1: listener questions. I say it every week. I want more
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: of them, So hit me with your best shot. You
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: can reach me over at Hello at Hurdle dot Us
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  Speaker 1: Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time