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The Man Without a Preference: How People-Pleasing Buries the Self - and the Dig Back Out
Mid-thirties, successful, genuinely kind - and when asked what he'd want a perfect first date to be, he paused for a long time and asked what women usually want. Not a dodge: thirty years of being agreeable had buried the product so deep that "what do you want" returned a scan of the room instead of an answer. This episode is about how that happens, and why it happens to generous men, not selfish ones.
People-pleasing looks like generosity and is actually self-erasure on an installment plan. Every softened opinion and performed laugh is a quiet statement to the bookkeeper: my real answer…
The skinny
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