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Navigating New Horizons: Cathy Casteel's Guide to Thriving After Military Life · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines the compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Hello, hello, hello everybody.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: I have an amazing guest today, kathy Castile she is.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: You know we met I'll go into some more information but we met through Steve Linder, who is an amazing neuro-linguistic programmer, teaches and trains around the world, and just a fantastic guy as well.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: So you know, we both work with veterans and that kind of thing and it's just an amazing fit.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Automatically we just kind of hit it off so I wanted to welcome her.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: She is a veteran.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: She has 31 years of veteran service with the Marines and the Army.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know why she didn't go to the Air Force too, but she didn't.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: She'll explain that, I'm sure.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: But, kathy, why don't you go ahead and join it and tell my guest a little bit about you?
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Well, first of all, thank you, michael.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: I am just honored to be a part of this.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: You know, as we've had this conversation, veterans are near and dear to my heart.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: A little bit about me.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: I didn't do the Air Force because, you know, that was too cushy, apparently.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: I love the self-torture back then.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Anyways, yes, I was in the military for over 31 years.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I worked in corporate America for over 15 years.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: I did law enforcement for a little bit of time and just wanted to serve people and everything I did was figuring out a way to serve.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: So I got introduced to self-development in 2013.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: And I don't know if it was this way for you, but for me it was like I was in a Sahara desert and I was given water and I was like, oh my God, this is amazing, cause in the military, self-development is here read this history book, which is not my jam.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: And so it just lit a fire under me and I decided in 2017, after doing a lot of Tony Robbins type work that being a coach was what was going to the impact I wanted to make in people and into veterans the most was the route to go.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: And so, 2017, I stepped into the ring and been doing it ever since.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: And that's, that's fantastic.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: So you know, I, like you, you know, started back with Jack Canfield and you know some of those people.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Then, of course, tony Robbins and now Joseph McLennan III and so many others, you know.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: So it's when you find the purpose and I find this with military veterans a lot when they're missing the purpose and when they find the purpose, it changes everything for them, you know.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: So I'm glad you found it, I'm glad you drank the water.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: Well, thank you.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: I was given a purpose for 31 years, so now I had to find my own.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's you know, lieutenant, retired Lieutenant Colonel Tina Parker, friend of mine, I was on here last week, I believe she has the same story.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: You know it was I had my purpose in the military and then I got out and I had to find well who I was and my purpose again, and that's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about and I know you are passionate about that transitional period, right.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: Passionate about that transitional period right is getting them helping military find the passion, find what they really want, because they want to serve still.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: That's why they joined the military in the first place.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Most, I would say.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the military does a great job at programming us coming in.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: When you go in basic training and in school and just in your career.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: They do a great job programming you and so, service first, mission first, your life and your family and all that second.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: And then when you get out, for whatever reason it is, whether it's you retire, you do your four years, you get out, or you're medically discharged abruptly, or whatever the situation is, you go from drinking the Kool-Aid to now the military just says, oh, here you go, you're on your own and now you've got to figure yourself all over.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: They do a great job training you to be a veteran, a service member, of whatever branch.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: They do a really horrible job of letting you transition out.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that really seems to be the conditioning that I've heard over and over and over and I've seen.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: You know that's the reality is with my father and pretty much every like I said, every military veteran I've met.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: But it's the norm in a sense, is that you know if they did the same conditioning on the way out to prepare you for that transition as they did when you.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: You know the highest rate of suicide among veterans and I'm not going to get into this a lot because we have some really cool stuff to talk about but is that first 10 years is the highest rate, followed by the second.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: So you know, I know we talked about this before.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: So you know my hypothesis and I think you'll agree to some extent, I hope is they don't have that plan coming out.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: They don't have that.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: They need to make sure they are, you know, building that same camaraderie.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: When they come out, you know they're feeling disconnected and of course, that leads into all kinds of other issues as well, as when you go from military service to civilian, whether you're in active duty or whatever the case may be.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: I think you don't.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: You're a different person regardless, just like if you were to go somewhere for six months or a year or two years, and so is your family members.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: When you come back, right, they're different people.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Everybody has changed or grown to some extent, and there's a lot of times there's issues with coming back together.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: And I'm going to call it what it is I think it's a lot of communication.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: There needs to be more communication 100%.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: I think what the military does a great job, or their focus on, is to get you a job as you're transitioning out, and that's great.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: The biggest piece that most service members miss is the camaraderie, the family.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: So, yes, I have a job, but if I'm missing that whole other piece, which is a big, huge piece of being in the military, I think that's what creates the alcoholism, the drug abuse, the homelessness, the suicides, all that other piece, the fights within relationships.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: And, to your point, yes, I left for a year and everybody kept living their life and I'm coming back trying to fit myself into something I wasn't a part of for the last year.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: So, 100%, it's communication.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I apologize, I'm looking down, I'm not because I'm having a tech issue, but we're good.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm done, we're good.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, I agree.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Again, we've had that conversation before, so it's it's a tough one and, you know, have faith and just be open and have have those conversations and and vice versa.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: You know so that really truly you're open and so because I, I'll, I'll share when, when someone is how do I say this?
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: When someone is being strong and they think that asking for help or saying hey, I'm struggling, or whatever, is a weakness, that's generally where the problem starts, right.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: But I'll tell you and I think I said this on yesterday's podcast, at least I'm consistent, right, kathy, is when you ask for help, you're probably being the strongest you're ever going to be in your life, and the reward for the other person that is there for you and helps you makes them feel good and connected and that's how that relationship growth happens.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: And for so long.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: To your point.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: For so long, though, if you've been in the military a long time the old folks and I say the older folks, like the salty folks that have been in a while that wasn't okay.
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: You didn't talk about your feelings, you didn't discuss that kind of stuff, because then that made you look weak.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: And so we've gotten better where we talk about things, and still it's.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: It's still that barrier.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: It's like you can talk about some things but not other things, and it's you're tap dancing around it, and what my husband and myself have learned through our ptsd is the only way through it is talking about it, which is sometimes counterintuitive yeah, that, true, true, you know.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Another thing that I found with that and I know we're totally getting sidetracked, like I told you we would right and we'll circle back.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: It's all good Again.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: These conversations when they're just conversations, generally are the best ones.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: So, is you know?
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: You know I'm not going to go there right now.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: You know, let's, let's go ahead and get back on track, because I'm going to lose 10 minutes.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, we're going to gain 10 minutes, but we've got so much good information coming.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I want, I want to get back to your stuff, so, so, so, yeah, the relationship's super important, communication's super important, and I'm glad we did talk about that.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: So, thank you.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: So what I'd like to start off with, if you're good with it, kathy, is you know your specialty is empathic women and military transition our audience a little bit.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I know we've talked about it already, but what is an empathic woman or man and how does that impact you generally in like military service?
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: So for me, empath how I define it for myself is that I tend to feel a lot of other people Like.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: I feel their emotions.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I feel their emotions they're going through is the best way to explain.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: So I feel what they're going through and then sometimes it can take a toll and I would say it showed up in this term.
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: I got called a lot in the military because I was a military officer in the army side of my career and I was called a mother hen and for me I took it as a negative for a long time because of what women were told to be and brought up in the military.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: You got to be strong, you got to be like your male counterpart and so for me I treated that as a negative, as a bad quality.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: And it wasn't until my last appointment that I worked with a great Australian colonel who was my boss and having that compassion for your soldiers and seeing it and getting the mission done there's a way to have both mission done.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: There's a way to have both and I think you can do that in men and women.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: And so when I was getting ready to leave and we were doing my evaluation and we were having a conversation.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: It blew me away because I left with him knowing I could create better communication like not necessarily always be to the point create relationship.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: And what he learned from me is it's not always about business, that you can care about your team and still get the mission done.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: It's just finding that balance.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: So, and what I've found, thank you for sharing that, it's great.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: I'm curious was the mother hen something that people actually said and you knew it was a negative thing at the time, or is that just kind of what you were thinking?
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: so well.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I think I was called like mother bear or something to that effect.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: I call it the mother hen.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: Um, indirectly, yes, because of the just how I was brought up in the military I.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: Part of it was probably my internal representation of you know what I deem that word to be.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Um, part of it was the coding of how I was brought up in the military, how women are brought up in the military and the generation I was brought up in the military, how women are brought up in the military and the generation I was brought up in, and I would beg to differ that it has not changed to this day.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Be as strong as your male counterpart or be better than him.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: Prove your worth by doing that and at all costs.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: Like I didn't really have a relationship for the majority of my military career and honestly like being authentic.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: If I did have a relationship for the majority of my military career and honestly, like being authentic, if I did have a guy friend, just a friend, another military officer, I must have been sleeping with him because I was a single female.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: So there was a lot of dynamics that were already given to me the day I joined the military.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think we see that a lot in corporate, the corporate world as well, as far as those rumors, thoughts et cetera, you know, unfortunately.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: So that's great, great information.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: So what do you think?
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Some of those leadership roles and we'll call it mother hen for now and I'll be honest, I don't even like it, but because it paints it, does it paints that picture so what aspects of that do you think has helped you transitioning out of military life and some of the skills that you brought from all of those years, brought from all of those years?
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: Well, the biggest skills on the positive side, like the biggest skills that I brought out was being able to manage teams in a way that I could take their input and see their perspective and hear them out and not just be like, oh, I'm going to make that decision, like I'm in charge, you do what I say.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: So for me, I was able to open to hear that.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: The second part is to realize that they're people and they have a life.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: You know, especially on deployments, they have families at home that they have issues with or are missing or need to be taken care of.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: So it's understanding that you can have like compassion for what they're going through and be like, okay, I got that.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: And when you come back into more, we need to be laser focused because there's things that we need to get done or people's lives are on the line, so giving them the time to have both and you know I have family members that like to bake and send me care packages, so make sure that they get taken care of.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: If they don't have anybody at home, I deployed single.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: It sucks so to make sure that they're getting a little loving from somebody else.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Fantastic as far as transitioning out.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: You know you talked about positive but some of the negative things.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: If we can just briefly talk about some of the struggles that you had and then how you beat those struggles which I think is very important that veterans hear the you know how you beat them so they don't stay stuck in them 100%.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: So for me, the biggest challenge was I identified myself as a soldier for so long.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: I mean, it was 31 years of my life, four years as in the Marine Corps and over 28 in the army so I was no longer going to be say, say that I was a soldier.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: So in the past I was a wife, I was a mom, I was a woman, I was an entrepreneur and I was a soldier.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: So when I was retiring, it was like I was divesting myself of one person and it's almost like a death, it's almost like grieving a death, because I know it sounds crazy it's a change of words from being a soldier to a veteran and it's an identity and you lose that.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Contrary to what most people say, you lose that family the day you walk out of the military, that family that you had.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: Am I still in contact with some of them?
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, and it takes a lot of effort to reach out and then reach back, so it's not that constant dynamic of family camaraderie that you can reach out to talk to.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: So it really was like I was grieving the death of something.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: And the other part was just what do I do next?
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Like what do I?
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: How do I take all those years of military service and translate it into a civilian type job.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: Right, I was in the reserves for the majority of my career and so I was leaving my corporate America job because it was really affecting me health wise.
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: And when I came back from my my first deployment to Afghanistan, I said you know what?
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: I'm going to start interviewing for another job.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: I'm going to figure it out.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: I went to Afghanistan.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: I said you know what?
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: I'm going to start interviewing for another job.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: I'm going to figure it out.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: And that was in 2013.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: And I'm starting to apply for jobs.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: I'm like what do I apply for?
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: What does a combat engineer officer translate into the civilian world?
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: Like I don't construct.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: I'm a great project manager, but I have no project management type titles or anything.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: But I have no project management type titles or anything.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: So it was really I felt lost.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: So how did you and I always ask every vet I meet, because the story scenario is very similar almost across the board.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: So what was the change?
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: What leverage or what life event generally helped you figure it out?
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: So a couple of things.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: First thing foremost is self-development.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: You know I I left corporate America in 2013.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: I got introduced to Tony Robbins.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: I kind of heard of him but never really knew him In 2015, that was a game changer for me, to start the ball rolling even deeper.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: I think another part is the communities of people you surround yourself with.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: There's some great organizations.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: I volunteer with one called Team Rubicon.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: It's a veteran-led organization that does disaster response.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: So a lot of people that we do have civilians to a lot of veterans get there because they're hanging around other veterans and living in crappy conditions, because we're doing disaster response and we enjoy it and we're still able to serve others.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: So finding out for me it was finding a way to still serve others in in a way that maybe necessarily wasn't in the uniform.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: And then the third part was just surrounding yourself with the right friends to talk about it and be OK with whatever emotion showed up.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Fantastic, yeah, and that's again the struggle, because you need to be comfortable to do that right.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: You had to find the right people and civilians as well.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, you have to find the right people to have those conversations, to talk, to lift yourself.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: You want to be a bigger, better person, in a sense, for that self-growth, because if we don't, if we're not growing, you know what are we doing?
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: We're dying, right.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: The old don't.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: If we're not growing, you know what are we doing, we're dying.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Right, the old saying is if you're not growing, you're dying.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: So, um, that's, it's super important for that to happen.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: So, um, thank you for the service that you do, still with team Rubicon and and everything.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: So that's, that's really fantastic, thank you.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: Kind of challenging, because we put judgment on ourself of what we've done, saying that it's so wrong.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: And in reality, because if we say those words out loud to somebody who doesn't understand, then they're like you know, if they get flabbergasted, then it's like oh my gosh, okay, I need to shut down now I can't talk about it anymore because I don't want to scare them too much.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: If I'm just sharing a little bit and you're already freaking out, whereas if you share it with another veteran, we get you.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: 90% of the times we've been there, done that, so we get it.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, and it's important, you know, to feel comfortable because, like you said, if someone's going, what the hell, what you're just going to shut down, walls are going to go up everywhere and it's just, you're never going to do it again.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: So it's just, you're never going to do it again.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: So it's it's super important to have someone that's around or or absolutely a veteran.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I agree a hundred percent.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: So, okay, anything else you want to add on that?
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: Don't think so.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: Just you know, for all the veterans that are listening out there just know the only way through is through and that's by talking.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: So find somebody that you trust and just talk to somebody.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Amen, amen.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: So I wanted to kind of move into some tips.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Yay, my favorite, all right.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: So if you can, I'm going to ask for three tips, but if you just want to start with one, because I know we're going to explain a little bit on those tips and talk about them a little bit, and I think, if we can, because it is near and dear to my heart, let's talk about gratitude.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: Ah, yes.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: So my first tip is gratitude.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: That can change anything in your life.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: So I do a gratitude exercise.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: I used to do it in the morning, I do it at night.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: However, morning or night, middle of the day, anytime that suits you just list the top 10 things that you're grateful for, and I'm going to be true and authentic, because that's just how I am.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: We don't have time for anything else.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: Kathy, there you go.
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: Some days it's I'm grateful that my legs hit the floor and I'm out of the bed.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Some days it's like, oh, thank God my lungs are breathing on their own, because I don't think I could do it.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: Anything as simple as that.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: When you're having those days, and then some days you have amazing days, and then it may be hey, I'm grateful for my eyesight so I can see those birds that are on the bird feeder.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: I'm grateful for my hearing, because I can hear the birds that are actually singing, some of those things that we actually take for granted.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: So if you can get into a routine of just listing the top 10 things you're grateful for, it can change your what I call your state, how you're showing up from being maybe sad or depressed to, you know, feeling like, oh man, maybe I can actually get through today, hallelujah, yeah.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: And I love that.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: So, if I can, I like to add on to that because I think it's fantastic already.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: So every time, this is part of neuroencoding everybody.
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: So every time you think of something that you're grateful for and I'll tell you when I start in the morning, a lot of times I'll wake up like Kathy and it's you know what.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: I woke up on the right side of the dirt today, you know, I got up on time.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: I brushed my teeth.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: Today, you know, celebrate, got up on time, I brushed my teeth.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: Today, you know, celebrate the little things.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: The little things build up and feel like huge things.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: So with neuro encoding, I'm just going to give everybody a little exercise here, okay.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: So when you think of something grateful, and Kathy, let's do it together, can we Sure?
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: So let's think of something that we're grateful for, and I'm going to say mine out loud.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: You can, if you want to or not, but I'm going to say my wife.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: My family.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: So what I'm going to say is put a big smile on your face and then think about them just for a minute.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Do you guys feel that in your body?
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Okay, thank you.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Now pat yourself on the back for doing the exercise, all right.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: So those little exercises like that, on top of what you're doing, I mean the changes your day.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: Imagine how fast you can change You're talking about your state, right how fast you can change your state and feel that inner peace, that happiness and so on.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: When you need to Put that smile on your face, think about the gratefulness and I always say celebrate it, pat yourself on the back, shake your ass.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: It's called Astitude from Joseph McLennan III.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: You can't even say it and not smile.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: It's a fantastic little tool.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: So those are, you know, simple little neuron coding tricks that just assassinate complexity and make it simple.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: So people do it.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: So I love the journaling or there's lots of things you can call it, but gratitude is one of my favorite things because it changes the day, it changes the hour, it changes your life and the more you build it, the better it's going to get.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: You know, it's just work the muscle, work the exercise, and I promise you you will notice a difference in minutes or days.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: It's fantastic, so thank you Like, some days I want to journal and some days I don't.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: So if my gratitude exercise is just me vocally one day, because writing is not like my favorite thing to do, however, sometimes I feel called to do it, so I don't make one way right or wrong.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: It's just whatever it calls that day to do Excellent.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: That's an excellent tip, and let me let me just add on to that.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: So, so you know, even if you don't journal, just do the exercise or just think about it and it still works, not as well as journaling and writing it down, because what we write we invite, but just do that little exercise and it and it and it helps.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: So, um, I love this, Thank you, All right.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Tip number two Um.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Tip number two is have a ritual.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: Uh, for me, I have reminders in my phone each day for things for me to do, and my rituals are things that fill my tank.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: And for me, um, so I'll just give you my top.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: I listen to an audio book, I listen to scripture, I work out and I check in on my feelings to see where I'm at.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: That's my ritual every day.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: Those are non-negotiables for me, whatever yours are for yours.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: Can you explain what non-negotiables are, because not everybody knows that.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: I think it's important to understand what that means.
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: Awesome.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: Yes, I actually did that in my relationship too.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: Just so you know, non-negotiables show up everywhere in your life.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: It's where you make a decision to excuse me.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: It's where you make a decision that I'm not going to bed till I get that done, because I know how it's going to impact me throughout the day.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: So if it's 937 and I'm going to bed at 940, I'm taking those last three minutes and I'm doing whatever I need to do.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: Or if my bedtime's 10 and I haven't done them, I guess I'm getting to bed late that night Cause it's a must.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: Yes, excellent.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: So those are.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Those are very important and that's part of the your personal integrity.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: You know that I am not going to bend on this.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: This is who I am, so and there's an expression I can't remember who it was, I thought it was an athlete Is how you do anything is how you do everything.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: So when I start like wavering a little bit on it, I'm like Kathy, how you do anything is how you do everything.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: And if you chintz out on this, where else in your life are you chintzing out on?
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: So that works well for me to get me in gear.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fantastic.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: I do urge people to get those phrases, those things that connect with you, to get them in your soul, if you will, because they will get you out of bed or whatever the case may be.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: So that's fantastic.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Kathy, do you have a?
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: third one.
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: I do have a third one, and for me this is again also a non-negotiable Doing some type of self-development.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: You made the comment if you're not growing, you're dying.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: Find something.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: There is so much variety in self-development out there now.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: Find some type of self-development to improve on.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: If wellness is your jam, then do that.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: If it's spiritual, do that.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: Whatever it is, do something, whether it's read or listen to some type of self-development.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: I do it every day.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: If you haven't done it, add it a couple times a week for yourself and then just kind of grow on that and get to the point where you can do that every day as well.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: And then just kind of grow on that and get to the point where you can do that every day as well, fantastic.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: I'm Kathy, our time is up.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: I always say, man, we need way more time, love, to have you back on at some point.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: I know your amazing husband's going to be on next week, so excited about that and of course, you're always invited to come back, so thank you.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: I would absolutely love to come back and thank you again for having me on your show.
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: Michael, I appreciate you so much.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: You're such an incredible soul and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: You may not have served.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: You did serve a different way, because you're a family of a veteran, and what you're doing for our veteran community just blows my mind.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: It gives me goosebumps thinking about it.
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: So I appreciate you so much, okay.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you, I'm honored, I am called.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: It's my passion.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Look out here.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: We go Absolutely.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: And when you said that, I got chills too, just so you know.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: So thank you for the appreciation.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: I don't take that lightly.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: I really don't.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: So, kathy, how do people get ahold of you if they want to get ahold of you?
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: Absolutely so.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: If you want to get ahold of me, there's a couple ways.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: You can email me at kathy at msmcoachinggroupcom we're getting ready to transition I know you see Centivo Empowerment Systems underneath there and or go to msmcoachinggroupcom and we'd just love to just be able to do a discovery call and listen and help our veteran community.
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: Amen, thank you, and thank you honestly for again the time I say this on every podcast and I'm going to say it again Thank you.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: Time is the most important resource we have as humans.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: We don't get it back.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: So this 32 minutes that we spent and the 20 before, thank you honestly.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: I'm honored that you've taken the time and the work that you're doing out there.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: So thank you so much.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: It's greatly appreciated.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much, absolutely, ladies and gentlemen.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: I just want to, as always, bring it up on the QR code in the top right-hand corner there.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: Scan that QR code.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: We have resources.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: I have free books that I've written for you guys.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: There's Facebook groups.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: There's all of these resources to stay connected, to reach out and be part of the community.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: So the more people we get together, just like any military, the larger the military, the stronger it is.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: So reach out, scan the QR code and everybody love you.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: We are out of here.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.