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Reimagining Success and Finding Balance with Ryan Hanson · Finding New Waters

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Helping individuals to become their own advocates, Helping
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individuals to become more informed healthcare decision
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makers in a variety of ways. It it it has to be personal.
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Like like good general information is nice.
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But you know most of us are smart enough or egotistical
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enough that that that we can we can talk away logical
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information. But as you pointed out the 2nd,
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that somebody points out to me that if I have a drink later in
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the evening, I don't sleep as well.
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It it it's that simple. But it but it's that important
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that it that that person can use their information.
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It's not just general information about alcohol later
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in the day. It could affect your sleep.
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It's when I have a drink or when you know in my case, when I eat
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the you know the bowl of ice cream at 9:00 PM, I'm not going
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to sleep as well. It's obvious you know, but you
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know and and and individuals, you know.
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Again in that example doesn't mean I'm not going to do it
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right, but at least the next day I'm not blaming it on something
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else. I can.
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I can have some accountability around it and I can make some
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decisions about what I'm going to do now in order to to feel
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better in a more sustainable way.
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Good afternoon. My name is Graham Dergie and I'm
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the founder and CEO of New Waters Recovery in Raleigh, NC
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Welcome to our weekly podcast, Finding New Waters.
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Our goal in creating Finding New Waters is to provide a resource
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for families to help navigate the complexities of supporting a
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loved 1, struggling with substance use or mental health.
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When we find ourselves in crisis due to one of these issues, most
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people have no idea where to turn.
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We hope to shed some light under what is often the darkest hour
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for many families. I'm joined here today by our
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medical Director, Doctor Harold Hong and Ryan Hansen, who's a
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founding partner at Trifecta. TRIFECTA Specialized unit
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specializes in advanced consulting and therapeutic
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services for discerning clientele.
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Ryan Hansen boasts an extensive 20 plus year background in
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behavioral healthcare combining clinical expertise, research,
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acumen and organizational leadership.
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His commitment to authentic, compassionate communication has
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driven positive results within multiple organizations,
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enhancing team morale, productivity and loyalty.
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Ryan's therapeutic expertise is vast with a focus on sexual
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health, grief and loss, career development, addiction, mental
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health and process driven disorders.
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His systematic approach takes into account the whole
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individual, offering a holistic pathway toward toward healing
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and balance. His clinical work has fueled his
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talent for innovative program development.
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By harnessing creativity, data-driven decision making and
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best practices, Ryan has built sustainable and profitable
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programs and startups, not-for-profit centers and large
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healthcare corporations. The solid business acumen
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extends to board management, state licensure program
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accreditation and facility oversight.
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Ryan, thank you for being here with us.
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Thank you for inviting me. It's great to be here.
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Of course, of course we we go back many years back to my days
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back in Florida when you were at Karen treatment centers and and
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I was at voyage and it's just great to reconnect with you.
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We we haven't seen each other talked in in quite a little
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while. So I'm very excited to.
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Learn more about Trifecta and for our listeners to learn a
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little bit more about what you guys are doing.
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So why don't we kind of start there and you can tell us just a
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little bit about, we know what Trifecta is and and kind of the
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work that you guys are doing right now.
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Yeah, thank you. Trifecta was really designed you
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know myself Liz Duffy and Randall Mullings we have a
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number of years of experience in the behavioral health industry
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and and we designed Trifecta after seeing a whole bunch of
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things that were extremely helpful for clients and families
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and and and life changing and also some components that didn't
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work and and we really wanted to figure out the the why didn't it
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work, what what was missing, what was misapplied, what could
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have been done better. We all take it very personally
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about how a client or a family, how they do you know what,
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whether their lives get better. And so the idea behind Trifecta
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was always let's tailor it to each person and really make sure
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that we understand what they need, what blind spots are
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present. Working with the entire system
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and using measurable strategies throughout the the course of our
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our time with someone to make sure that what we're doing is
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having the effect that the client and the family have have
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asked, asked to have help with. And and that's that's what
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Trifecta was founded on. Yeah.
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And I think that's so important, especially right now in in kind
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of. You know as the world that we're
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in and and the clients that we're seeing on a daily basis
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these days I feel are more complex than ever, right.
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We're just dealing with way more variables now.
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You know going down to kind of social media and all the kind of
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aspects of that and you know a lot of very, very complex mental
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health issues and and I think that you're 100% on the on the
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button, right. And you know, we've got to be
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individualizing our care like this.
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This model of kind of I call it kind of Cracker Jack treatment
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where you know this you know one-size-fits-all you know
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treatment is just doesn't work for, for the stuff that we're
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seeing these days, you know so, so important to to highlight
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that and and kind of how you guys manage that.
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Yeah, right. I'm I'm curious to hear more
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about what are some. Stories of clients that have
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sought out your services, like what are some of the stories
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that motivate them to engage with trifecta in the background
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for my question is we have a lot of, we see many people who don't
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know they need help until someone really puts it in front
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of their face through an intervention of some kind.
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And then they come in and then you know, thankfully they feel
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grateful that someone put that issue in front of them.
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So I'm always curious about to hear these stories of people
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who. Didn't really know they needed
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help or realized they needed help.
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But what was that insight that connected them with a place like
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Trifecta? Well, the the relationships that
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we've spent, you know, 20 plus years developing, We don't
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advertise our services. So everyone who gets to us is a
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referral from someone we already know.
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And that that kind of has set the stage for you know is that
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you know, a reputable assessment program that says, look, here's
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what we've found out, this isn't our wheelhouse.
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Can you help or will you help, Would this be a good fit?
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Right. Those are the types of
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introductions that that we we typically have at the beginning,
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but the the clients that are coming to us are coming to us
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for a variety of reasons, right. So individuals who are
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struggling with substance use and mental health whether it's
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themselves whether it's their they're referring to therapist,
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a friend a wealth manager an agent you know someone within
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their system is trying to you know to encourage change and and
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you know as we all know individuals can be in varying
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stages of of openness to that process and and so the those
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clients that they they get to us and and many times it's the
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identified individual who has the problem right.
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And as we start working with the whole system and that's really
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our approach we're a systemic approach we we don't we don't
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generally want to focus only on one component and so that allows
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us then to to get into family work and relationships and
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business business partnerships and financial health and medical
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health and and and really start incorporating all the pieces of
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of who someone is and what matters to them.
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So you know we have, you know we've worked with high profile
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individuals and we've worked with family members and we've
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worked with a whole bunch of people that nobody would have
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ever heard of. They're wonderful people and and
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and all of them are coming on some level because of pressure.
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There's a pressure that either internally externally or both is
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really pushing on them to do something different in their
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life and and they may may be incredibly willing to to tackle
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what we would identify as as the you know the the primary concern
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and sometimes they're not and and regardless because we're
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working with the system we can start providing tools and
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resources to hopefully move move the individual and the system
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itself toward a healthier level of functioning and and and and
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more productivity and more happiness.
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Yeah. And I kind of think of you guys
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as kind of as the, like, Crisis Intervention team, right?
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And you're coming in on, you know, at the front end when the
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family is blowing up and you know, kind of keeping it all
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together and and you know, it's unfortunate, but most people
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have no clue what to do when they're faced with this, right?
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And you know, we've talked about this many times on The Pod
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before, but it's. You know, the dreaded people
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start Googling things and you know, looking for information
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online and you can really never know what's what or who, you
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know, what program is a good one.
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So you know, I think it having a team like you guys who are so
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entrenched and have been doing this for so long to really say
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like, listen, we've got it, We're going to, we're going to
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help you guys walk this path. We know all the right programs
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for different, you know, specialties and all that.
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And and then you know when you get the client to, you know
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whichever program is, is a good fit for them.
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You continue to work with the family component and kind of
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handle and manage that, which is such a big help to us as a
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program right to, you know, 'cause families that can be a
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lot of times a a huge part of the of the core issue, right,
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and and to have like. To have a little bit of space
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there while that the identified patient is in treatment is
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really an important piece and and until they're ready to do
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that family work right. So I would agree with that
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wholeheartedly Graham. It it you know what's what's
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important to all of us. It's it's connection it's it's
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feeling loved and loving others and and and you know being
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spiritually connected and emotionally connected and
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physically connected and and families and and and my my
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career has been about working with families I I fell into it
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but it has been and guided everything that I've ever done.
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So the families, many programs tend to view them as the, the
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Wild Card or The X Factor and they're not quite sure what to
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do with them. And and we approach it from the
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lens of that's probably the most important component of someone's
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approach to Wellness is, you know, they don't want to be left
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behind by their family and they don't want to have to leave
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their family behind in order to be well.
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So everyone in the system deserves a chance.
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Yeah, agreed. What are some ways that you get
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the family engaged? Because in in my experience,
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many family members will say like, I'm, I'm fine.
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Right. It's my husband or it's my
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partner. It's my child.
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They're the one that needs the help.
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Why are you looking at me? Yeah, yes, everything in our,
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everything in our home would be fantastic if this one thing
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changed, right? And, and on some level, they're
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correct in the sense that that thing is causing problems, but
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it normally only takes about half a conversation to ask a
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family member, what would you have been doing with all of your
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energy that's gone to this one problem?
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What would you have been doing with all that energy for the
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last year, five years, 10 years, however long it's been going on?
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And most of the time a door opens into, yeah, I, I, I quit
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my job 10 years ago to pick up the slack or I had to work two
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jobs to pick up the slack or I I quit singing or I quit, you
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know. And almost everyone gets there
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quickly to yeah, that this is what I would have been doing.
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And. And that's normally the entry
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point to OK, well then it's not about saying that you're you're
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sick. It's about saying, but you've
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experienced this also and and and what would you need to be
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whole again? Yep.
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Yeah, 100%. And you know, I I just feel it.
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It's always interesting with the family aspect too.
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I know in my from my own family, my own experience, it was, you
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know, kind of going to an Al Anon meeting and saying, well,
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that's not really for me, you know, like you.
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It's great that you go to a like, I don't really need this.
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This is about you. And not really understanding
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that this is just a family disease, right?
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And So what kind of work are you guys doing with the families?
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Are you, are you meeting with them kind of weekly, doing
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sessions, recommending any sort of like outside, you know,
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community based work or what do you guys do with your clients?
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Similar to you know the identified individual who comes
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into into our care and into our system, we we approach it the
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same way with a family member and it's not a programmatic.
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You know everybody does AB and C and everybody gets sent to this
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type of support or everybody, everybody has to do a
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codependency worksheet. We we don't approach it that we
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approach it from a very individualized standpoint of we
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need to know about you and then we we tailor a plan.
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If someone needs to be on the phone twice a week, great, then
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that's how we're going to figure it out.
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If it's twice a month, that's fine.
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If it's some some of the wonderful family support
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meetings that are already available, great, let's let's
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help you be able to access that. But if there are going to be
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barriers to that then we we try to be as creative as we possibly
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can to eliminate the the things that that stop people.
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And then, Graham, you give a great example that someone goes
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to their first Al Anon meeting and they identify differences.
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They identify all the things that are unlike them and say
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this isn't helpful for me or I didn't, I didn't relate or I
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don't see how this applies to my situation.
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And so we want to shift the thinking around that to you tell
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us and we're going to work together to identify what you
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need and then we're going to do 10 things to make sure that that
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we found it. That's great.
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Yeah. And when you're thinking about
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starting the work with the clients and given how
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individualized the approach is, what's your framework or lens
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that you'll bring to try and understand like what are the
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core pieces of this puzzle. So we start with some of the
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basics which we've all learned. You know, the biopsychosocial
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assessments, you know, gaining records from previous, previous
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providers if, if they, if they're their current providers,
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if they're their family histories, you know, we're
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getting information from collateral sources to be able to
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corroborate or rule in or rule out information.
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And then then similar to to the great work that you that you're
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doing starting to find out where don't we have enough information
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and it's and and we are you know we're happy to go outside of
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ourselves we we want to work with other professionals who are
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in different realms and different disciplines.
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So you know someone says you know what everything changed
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when we we got our home in Vermont in in 1989.
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Great. Well let's talk about that.
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But then let's also look at you know potential environmental
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factors. Somebody contract Lyme disease
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and have they been struggling with that on a, you know a
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physical and neurological level ever since and it's never been
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talked about or it was treated but may not have been completely
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resolved. I mean that there, there are
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1000 different pieces that when we start picking apart we can
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find the big ones and we can also make sure that the the ones
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that may may have gotten missed that that would have tripped us
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up, yeah. Yeah.
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Yeah. And I think that you know that
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that's kind of highlights, you know, the work that we do here
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at New Waters to an extent with, you know, really getting that
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information. You know, traditionally it's
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been a lot of, you know, treatment placement happened
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pretty quick because families were in crisis and we had to get
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them somewhere safe, you know, as as quickly as possible and
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medicated and stabilized and all that.
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And you know, we do that here, but I think even more
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importantly it's like it's it's doing you know, the assessment
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work that we do here and getting that information on the front
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end. Because it's it's it's so hard
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to really get the full scope of what's happening with this
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individual on you know, a couple phone calls trying to make
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placements and and find out what's going on.
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But you know, if everybody stops, takes a deep breath.
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You know, does some assessment work, some psychological
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testing, you know, full medical work up, psychological work up.
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And then we have such valuable information to move forward and
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say OK this is what's really going on with this individual
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and this is what's driving our referral moving forward.
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Instead of just kind of throwing darts at the dartboard, you
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know, which is I feel like we've done for a while.
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So it's cool to you know be partnering with you guys in a in
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a sense and working with you all a lot on on being that kind of
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source of information really you know?
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And helping, you know, positive outcomes, you know, moving
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forward. Yeah.
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When it comes to helping clients build, we're in full agreement.
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I'm sorry when when it comes to helping your clients build
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insight, what are some some of your favorite stories about like
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breakthrough moments and how they got there?
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So I I I'm a big fan of throwing things back in your face.
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It's not called that most of the time, but it's it's, you know,
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if if I want to make sure that every client understands that
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we're listening. And so when we create care
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plans, those care plans are this is what you're telling me you
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want to accomplish. This is what we would agree.
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We agreed together we were going to use to measure that and how
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you would know that we made you know that we made a difference
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that your life is better today. And and so those great moments
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are when somebody somebody says you know, I I don't know why
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I've been doing this. Like you know I just spent a lot
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of money and and I'm not I'm not any happier.
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And we pull something out and we go back to you know you told me
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you're fighting with your spouse every single day that you
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literally go to bed angry every every night of the week.
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And over the last month you've told me that you had one
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argument with your spouse some something changed right And and
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and if if we need to shift to something else or or we've
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accomplished what we set out to do awesome.
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But but you know those moments of insight are no I did say
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that. You know, I I I told you at the
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beginning. I I, I remember a specific young
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man that that said I am never ever getting married never like
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OK, you know that that's I don't play matchmakers that's not
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really, you know, a concern of mine.
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But what what what had happened is because of some of the
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experiences that he had in the past, his connections had really
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shrunk. His need for safety had shrunk
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some of that. And you know, six or nine months
21:59
after after we started doing some work, he came in and he
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said, you know what? I met this person and I think, I
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think this could really turn into something.
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And I'm like, I'm just going to, like tell you now.
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You promised you were never getting married.
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And he started laughing because he never remembered saying that.
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He's like, I know, I probably did say it, but he's like, you
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know, and we're, you know, Fast forward 4 1/2 years later and
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two children that have been added to the mix and you know
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it, it's, you know, he's happy. He has a life and and and he
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gets to share, share it with people in in a way that he
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created. Yeah.
22:43
It's beautiful. And you know I guess one of the
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things that I I wanted to you know dig into as well because
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you guys are are you know with the families throughout you know
22:56
the entire treatment episode and and in in most cases I would
22:59
assume you're working with families after the fact and.
23:02
Through the aftercare and and all that and you know how in
23:05
your opinion does individualized treatment or care really set
23:10
people up for success and and you know with relapse prevention
23:14
and you know positive outcomes and you know what what's the
23:17
importance of that in your mind. There's there's no reason to do
23:25
it if you can't prove that it worked.
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And and and an opening clients up and opening really the
23:33
behavioral health industry up to being accountable in the sense
23:40
of we have a responsibility to be behavioral sciences and and
23:48
and and really pushing an industry into change.
23:55
You know and and and and clients clients on some levels that I
24:00
mean clients understand very quickly like is this you know
24:07
treatment speak or or is this something objective that that we
24:12
can measure and we can measure it the same way you know from 7
24:16
different angles. So.
24:19
So the outcomes Graham that that you mentioned being able to
24:25
identify the objective strategies as well as you know
24:34
certainly we want somebody to feel better that's that's going
24:36
to be you know while it comes across as being more subjective
24:41
there are actually are some objective ways to to to approach
24:45
how how we help clients and how we help ourselves as clinicians
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take a look at our is what we're doing with this client this
24:56
individual client is it effective and then we can start
24:59
talking about how to design studies and and and do some of
25:03
the other stuff. I I'm secretly I'm I'm a
25:07
statistics nerd I was a a a stats TA in my undergraduate
25:14
career and and and it's actually influenced just about everything
25:19
I've done in my career because I I want somebody to be able to
25:24
know for sure and I want us. I would like knowing for sure
25:31
that something had the effect that we wanted it to have not
25:36
because of 27 commingled factors which is actually how life works
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but that you know we gave this particular medication and three
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days after and ever since I've had a different experience in
25:54
the way that I approach the world.
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I know I I had my brain mapped and we started doing some some
26:00
neuro rehab services and since that has happened I now feel
26:08
less angry or I feel less triggered in in circumstances
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right. Those things are measurable both
26:15
from a subjective and objective standpoint.
26:19
And I I'm always excited when when you know individual
26:24
providers and and academics and science, you know works
26:31
together. Because I, I, I, you know, I'll
26:36
use an example like a a biometric tool that it's not
26:40
medical grade but it starts to provide information that I can
26:44
use to potentially change behavior, improve, improve
26:52
health and Wellness, improve you know, connection.
26:57
That stuff's cool and and and it produces real change that people
27:04
can see. And you're referring to like
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using a whoop band or something like that with your biometrics
27:12
and and kind of tracking sleep and you know recovery and all
27:15
that type of thing exactly. And and and there's some some
27:20
new new companies that have come into the market that have that
27:25
are producing medical grade measurements you know that FDA
27:31
approved and and So what what starts to happen is we're before
27:38
this was seen as kind of a pseudo piece of information.
27:43
It's it's now actually real information that we as
27:46
healthcare professionals can be including in fact should be
27:51
including when we're looking at the overall you know sense of
27:55
Wellness and and and and how if if someone is telling us you
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know I I started my career you know 2223 years ago and and
28:06
clients would say well I'm not sleeping and you know the
28:11
overnight staff at the facility would say every time I check on
28:14
them there is. So we so we have this immediate
28:18
discrepancy about the experience that can actually be pretty
28:23
objectively measured today. You know whether whether it's
28:26
you know the mattress that can measure movement and or the app
28:33
that can be put on the bedside table that that measures you
28:36
know sound and and and breathing throughout the night or or you
28:41
know a wearable biometric that you know is measuring what some
28:47
of the heart rate is like. All of those things can give us
28:50
an objective piece of information to understand is
28:52
this person like you know do they do they have sleep apnea
28:55
And so their experience of their sleep, they're exhausted even
28:59
though they were in bed for 10 hours.
29:02
That's going to affect every other decision that they're
29:05
trying to make at a critical time when when they know they
29:08
have things that that that need to to happen for them.
29:14
So use you've integrated wearables and biometrics into
29:18
the treatment plan for the client work.
29:24
Yes, yes and and and it gives it it's one tool that we can use
29:33
for a variety of individuals. But again if if someone is
29:37
opposed to it, if someone says I don't think that's my issue.
29:41
You know we're going to find some other creative ways to to
29:44
to think about how how can we how can we help confirm for you
29:49
that what you wanted to do is happening.
29:51
How can how can we how can we measure your Wellness in in 50
29:57
different dimensions. You know that that's not always
30:00
going to be a biometric wearable that could be, could be a whole
30:04
bunch of things. But being creative that way and
30:06
helping, helping to to do it in a way that the client can accept
30:11
it and own it and use it and benefit from it, that's that's
30:15
what we're. After yeah, super interesting.
30:16
I've been, I've been messing around with Apple Watch and
30:19
whoop and Justin's been talking like in the aura ring.
30:23
Do you have any preferences for like which platform you think
30:27
works best for this type of consulting work?
30:30
Well, I I think some of it depends on what, what the issue
30:34
is. But in general our society is
30:36
sleep deprived. So you know, it's the fact, you
30:41
know, sleep, food, water connection, shelter, sex, like
30:49
there's some foundational pieces and and sleep effects,
30:53
everything, yeah. Absolutely everything.
30:56
So. So I don't particularly care if
30:59
if someone, I don't have a particular preference around
31:03
which biometric wearable someone uses as long as they'll use it,
31:09
right. So you know the, the, the, you
31:11
know the rings generally are less obtrusive, people don't
31:16
take them off as often they tend, you know they tended that
31:21
therefore get used a little more consistently that what whatever
31:29
will reduce the barrier and keep the progress moving forward.
31:33
That's what I prefer, yeah. I've been really impressed with
31:37
the accuracy of these these wearables.
31:40
So I started using the Apple Watch sleep tracking.
31:43
And I I honestly think that the American Sleep Association like
31:47
they're getting close to endorsing it as like fairly
31:51
accurate because it can tell you how much time you spend in light
31:54
sleep, slow wave sleep, and R.E.M. and and people are really
31:59
seeing correlations. Oh, if I had a drink at.
32:03
Dinner or if I had two cocktails, my REM sleep like
32:07
plummeted. My slowly of sleep also
32:10
plummeted. And you know, that's why I feel
32:12
so crummy in the morning, just like so unrested.
32:15
And then that that is like a very powerful motivation for
32:18
people to like optimize their daytime activities.
32:21
And they're seeing all these new connections, and I think it's
32:24
wonderful that people can understand their bodies more,
32:27
more correctly, more more clearly because.
32:31
Without these insights, they're just kind of going on their gut
32:34
reaction. A lot of times we're just a
32:36
little bit miscalibrated. Now I I, I agree and I I, you
32:42
know, helping individuals to become their own advocates,
32:46
helping individuals to become more informed healthcare
32:50
decision makers in a variety of ways.
32:52
It it, it has to be personal like like good general
32:55
information is nice. But you know most of us are
32:59
smart enough or egotistical enough that that that we can we
33:05
can talk away logical information.
33:08
But as you pointed out the 2nd that somebody points out to me
33:12
that if I have a drink later in the evening I don't sleep as
33:16
well. It's it's it's that simple.
33:20
But it but it's that important that it that that person can use
33:25
their information. It's not just general
33:27
information about alcohol later in the day.
33:29
It could affect your sleep. It's when I have a drink or when
33:33
you know in my case when I eat the you know the bowl of ice
33:36
cream at 9:00 PM, I'm not going to sleep as well.
33:39
It's obvious, you know, but you know and and and the individuals
33:44
it you know. Again, in that example doesn't
33:48
mean I'm not going to do it right, but at least the next
33:51
day, I'm not blaming it on something else.
33:54
I can. I can have some accountability
33:56
around it and I can make some decisions about what I'm going
33:58
to do now in order to to feel better in a more sustainable
34:04
way. Yeah.
34:05
Yeah, Yeah. So how does it?
34:10
How does a client's level of readiness to change affect the
34:13
tailoring of the treatment plan? So I I I I think Graham we're
34:20
always looking for how can we how can we be collaborative and
34:25
Invitational and the person who says you know I'm I'm never
34:28
going to a 12 step meeting you know whether you know if they're
34:33
one of their issues is is you know substance use disorder.
34:38
I'm I'm not starting with the fight right.
34:42
You know I'll start with tell me tell me what you want to
34:46
accomplish and tell me what you think you're willing to do
34:50
today. We'll start there we'll start
34:54
there. It doesn't mean that that's you
34:56
know where we're ending but in general we're trying to help
35:01
individuals lower resistance that doesn't generally happen
35:06
with a with a full frontal assault.
35:09
So especially meaning. Yeah, go ahead.
35:15
I was going to say especially with the clientele that you're
35:18
working with, right is is, you know, mostly you know, high
35:23
profile, high net worth families and and people of that sort who
35:26
are coming to you with a very different perspective than most
35:29
people, right. And and it's hard to sometimes
35:33
get them to make that shift because they do what they want.
35:38
You know and there's not a whole lot holding the back and and
35:43
many times the system that they've created around them
35:47
supports their that thinking and that decision making and that
35:51
that level of of ability to to to chart their own course.
35:58
So. So telling someone here's what
36:01
you need to do. You know, there are moments
36:06
where that can work but most of the time it really is a you know
36:11
we're we're here to work together now and and and you're
36:16
telling me you're not happy about something I'm going to
36:20
throw out. Maybe it's connected to this.
36:23
If you want to prove me wrong, that's awesome.
36:25
I I'm good with that. Yeah.
36:29
Curious what are some versions of success that you're seeing
36:34
and and the ways in which they are?
36:36
Structurally, not anywhere close to the idea of being successful.
36:40
So for example, you could have a very successful executive in the
36:46
conventional idea. So they're C-Suite, very high
36:50
net worth, individual, but profoundly depressed and
36:54
disconnected. And they might be surprised that
36:58
they've been on the happiness treadmill for decades.
37:01
They got the promotion, they got the title and.
37:04
There there's not much further left to go on the treadmill and
37:07
now they're at that the cliffs edge and what does that moment
37:11
look like for people and how would you help them explore the
37:15
idea of success all over again? We I'm so glad you asked that
37:25
question because that is our client probably 50% of the time
37:34
and so successful that they don't know anything else.
37:40
And the narrative that they walk around with is I have to be
37:47
whatever I have to succeed at this level and and it and it
37:53
despite their enormous level of success, it has limited them in
37:59
their options and their and their ability to to be happy.
38:03
Because the narrative says I'm I'm happy when I'm the best in
38:09
my industry. I'm happy as to when I'm running
38:12
12 companies, I'm happiest when you know, I own 14 homes.
38:17
I'm happy. And those aren't the things
38:20
making them happy, you know, so, So redefining success,
38:26
redefining meaning and and helping to find a, you know,
38:31
passion and purpose. Like that's actually how I got
38:35
into some of the the career counseling and executive
38:39
coaching components was working with people and and feeling like
38:45
I needed to expand my ability to help them explore success in a
38:51
new way and find new ways to define what the next chapter of
38:57
their life could be without being held back by what some of
39:02
the. You know by all accounts
39:04
successful chapters at the beginning of the book have been
39:08
So that that and it's so powerful to watch when when when
39:13
somebody finds the next passionate experience that is
39:19
completely outside what they thought it was going to be like
39:24
it just it's it's it's that moment and we've all seen it
39:28
with clients where they're like, Oh my goodness, I could be doing
39:32
this. I, you know, and and you know, I
39:35
I've, I've had it happen in my career those moments where like
39:40
well wait a minute, what? What?
39:41
Why why does technology, you know, you know I have a master's
39:46
degree in counseling. Well, I what do I really need to
39:49
know about technology? And all of a sudden you find out
39:55
like there's this, this thread that once you start pulling on,
39:59
it's like, oh, this could do so much and and and that's the
40:03
moment that we want for our clients.
40:05
Yeah, love that. It's awesome.
40:07
And I think too, with those really high functioning
40:11
individuals, you know, a lot of times what happens is they've
40:14
got that thing that's that's, you know, keeping them in their
40:16
routine, that's keeping their life together, They've got
40:19
people that to answer to. And then maybe they retire and
40:23
that all changes, right? They're all of a sudden they're
40:25
at home, they're, you know, with with the family a whole lot
40:28
more, not a lot on their plate. And before they know it, they
40:31
didn't have a problem before. And now all of a sudden they're
40:33
drinking 3 bottles of wine all day long, right.
40:36
So it's interesting. For their spouses because
40:40
they're home all day a 100% so and I actually went through kind
40:44
of a little bit of that as a as the son, right.
40:47
My dad worked on Wall Street forever and retired when I was
40:51
in, you know pretty pretty early and I was in the 7th grade.
40:54
So it went from like you know he was working a lot of my my
40:58
childhood to all of a sudden he was home all the time.
41:01
And you know we have a great relationship now.
41:04
But at that time I was already using drugs, you know, and I was
41:07
already on my way and you know, we were not seeing eye to eye,
41:11
you know, at that point in our lives and struggled a lot.
41:14
I'm sure he, you know, have struggled a lot with me and what
41:18
I put him through. But yeah, it's just interesting
41:20
to see how that dynamic shifts with these high functioning
41:23
people in the in the family system, you know?
41:26
And and and retirement can be one of the triggers for that.
41:31
But but again talk about some individuals who've written some
41:34
really amazing first chapters, so they create the multi million
41:39
or multi billion dollar business and then they sell it, Yep.
41:44
And that the what next? That what next can be a very
41:48
daunting moment, 100% yeah that's scary because you're
41:52
just, you're always achieving and and you know if you don't
41:55
have that, that next thing that you're looking towards people
41:57
fall apart a lot of times because you've been so trained
42:00
for that so. We live in a tough society.
42:05
We can know what it means to succeed in a role, but no one's
42:09
actually talking about what it means to be a human.
42:13
Beneath all of that, until they start working with people like
42:17
you, Ryan. Right?
42:18
Right. Well, thank you.
42:20
Thank you. Thank you.
42:22
But but but to your point Dr. Like the are we human beings or
42:27
are we human doings And and in most cases we're a combination
42:32
and it's it's it's it's finding that alignment for each of us at
42:37
different points in our life because it changes.
42:39
Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah.
42:42
And I think it's, it's just so important for families and This
42:44
is why we wanted to have folks like you on here for families to
42:47
understand that there are other resources out there.
42:50
You know, please, please, you know, reach out to to people
42:54
like Ryan or ourselves to, you know, just to have that
42:57
conversation about, you know, what do we do in this in this
42:59
situation. And we are very happy to be
43:04
working with you guys, collaborating with you guys on a
43:06
lot of stuff. Is there anything that you
43:08
wanted to plug, maybe your website at the least, and maybe
43:11
some social media? I'd rather plug you guys.
43:21
Yeah because in in general the the clients who come to find us
43:27
come through other people that we trust or other people that
43:30
we've worked with and and so you know we're we're not we have a
43:34
website we actually don't push our website we don't really push
43:38
social media and and and that's purposeful and we we we aren't
43:43
trying to be the biggest we're trying to.
43:47
Really be thoughtful and intentional so that we can do
43:52
our very best work. So I you know what trifecta.com
43:58
is is or sorry trifecta dot life is the website.
44:02
But I'd I'd I'd rather have somebody if if they think they
44:07
that we can benefit them I'd rather just have them give me a
44:10
call and and have a conversation.
44:12
Yeah, love it. So trifecta dot life.
44:16
Mr. Ryan Hansen, such a pleasure connecting with you today and we
44:21
look forward to to seeing you again in person soon.
44:24
I'm. I'm excited to come up and see
44:27
you guys very, very shortly. So thank you for having me
44:30
today. Thanks, Ryan.