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THE ANTIDOTE TO SHAME (IT'S NOT MORE HEALING — IT'S THIS) · Erotic Spirit Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: You get up every day and you breathe.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's all you have to do every day.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: You are totally valuable.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: You have totally sealed your value right there.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: You can do nothing else all day, and your value is sealed.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: My love for you is sealed.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: There is nothing else you have to do.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Anything else you do on top of that, besides just breathing every day, that's just icing on the cake.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: It has nothing to do with your inherent value.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast discusses sensitive and sexual topics that may be triggering.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Please understand we are not therapists.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: We are simply sharing from our own journey and experience.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Erotic Spirit Podcast.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Angela Shelby.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm Jenna Lee.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And today we are talking about why you are not broken.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna learn some shit today.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: And why you are not broken.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So we talk about this topic because we talk about sex a lot.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And for our culture, sex and shame seem to go hand in hand.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that is not a natural state.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So shame is not a natural state.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: It is not our natural state.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And shame is not holy.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: That is one of the things that has been.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I grew up Catholic, so shame was totally holy for like the first 20 years of my life.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got out of Catholicism, built my own connection with Jesus that is mine.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And uh shame is not a holy thing.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so we talk about shame a lot and the root of shame.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we have between discussing with ourselves and getting downloads from spirit, we've come to understand shame is about us feeling broken, like we're missing something.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And all the ways that we are brought up, what religion has taught us, what culture teaches us, what the beauty industry teaches us that you are missing something, you are broken, and oh, we're gonna fix it for you.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Instant shame.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I'm missing something, I'm broken, don't look, it's not right.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it is it is so subconscious in messaging, in marketing, in I will be the first to admit in the personal development industry.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, like even in the spiritual community, a lot of the ways that people do talk, not everyone, but it is like the I got something for you.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like I know the fix for it.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's the wording, it's the intention, but it's when we don't see that we are gravitating towards something because of that wording, right?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: We're seeking the validation of the I am broken, I need something to fix.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm attracted to their foresaid industry or space that says they're gonna fix it for me.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: And there's no resolution in the truth of my real perspective, which may be that I feel like something is innately wrong with me when there isn't.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: But that's what's learned.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: So we you you talked about the beauty industry, you could talk about anything, you could talk about weight loss.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: I need to lose weight, I have to lose weight.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: Now, of course, if you have this all taking out of context of anything medical, anything that's wrong, and it's like, okay, you know, you need to lose weight, otherwise you may have like a heart attack.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: So out of any context of that, when we are speaking, so watch how you speak.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: If you're like, I need to in anything, I have to, I need to, that's an indicator that could be a symptom or indicator of there's something there.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: Not always, but I recognize that within me, where there's an opportunity to challenge.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And when you say something there, that's something that is not natural, something that has been programmed into you, that's what you're referring to.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: Where it's like, I need to do this because it's again that innately something is wrong.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I need to fix as opposed to I I would love to feel good in my body.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like I just, it feels heavy, feels like I struggle.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: It feels like I um like I don't like when I, and this is not me, but if I was to say at some point, I don't like when I walk up the stairs and I'm you know out of breath, you know, like oh okay, I want to be able to do all these things.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: I want to go hiking, I want to do all these things.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: And there's what is the intention behind it?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know, where's the intention?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: And like we're dive deeping into the resolution of instead of I need to, it's like I get to show up for me, but it's not because something is wrong.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I like the switch from I need to to I get to in the especially weight loss, especially in the US.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: We all struggle, most of us struggle with weight loss.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of stuff that contributes to it, but that I'm just thinking of people who are bulimic or anorexic who will look in the mirror and they could look like a concentration camp victim and still see 10 extra pounds that they have to lose.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because of programming.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because of what they've been, you know, what we have been taught.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just interesting that the I need to statements, how many of them are there are.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I challenge you to do a practice.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I have done this practice.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: I still do this practice because there are moments, especially when I feel very stressed or like I'm in a rut, sit down and pay attention to your thoughts.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And how often do you think I need to, I have to, or I should.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I invite you to consider those as Jenna was saying, as red flags and to stop and go, do I really need to do this?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And what what is my intention behind this?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: What is driving this?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: I need to do this, I have to do this.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: Cause ultimately, say you drop the weight.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: If you did no shadow work on like, you know, what you truly believe, you drop the weight.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like you said, you know, people can still look in the mirror and be like, I still do not feel beautiful.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: So there's something underlying.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's like the the material, we go back to the material world, has no indication on our internal value, but it is our belief systems that are projecting out like our actions.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: So we're we're going in, we're losing the weight, and then it's like, ah fuck, man, I still don't feel good.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: I still don't feel sexy, and it's and it's not embodied.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: So we haven't done the work.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: So it doesn't mean that, hey, don't lose the weight, but what's the intention?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: And then also there's growth there too.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: There's there's there was probably also a reason that we're we were holding on to the weight, I like to say, because I know I had a a separation from a long-term relationship and I dropped 30 pounds.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: But I did a lot of somatic work with sexual healing.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I did that for 10 days straight, and separation happened not long after that, but then within a few months, like all this weight drop, because I know I've been I've know with my higher self that I was holding on to it because I needed a protection, my body, not from person, from experiences I've had, from sexual trauma.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so it'll come out in different ways.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, where's our where's our value?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_02: Where's our what do we think our worth is?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: Come out with sexual trauma all the time.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like I can speak for myself and my experience.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I I was sexually abused when I was younger.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: And so I recognize as I was growing into this younger, you know, or older teenager.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I would people would label and have the words as I would be promiscuous.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: I would, and that that's just a label.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: There's, you know, that the meaning that was attached to it at that time was for me that I believed, see me, see me, this is my value.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: This is, oh, we're gonna have sex.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna do all these things for you.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: And this time, you will love me.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: But I didn't, I didn't actually like hear those thoughts, but I know now that my subconscious was wanting to go through this path to see something would be different.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I had I had several partners where I was like, ah, I just was gonna keep doing it.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because you felt that's where your value was.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Felt that was my value, and there was something innately wrong.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: I did not know uh that I was attaching my worth to that.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: That was so unconscious when I was like, I didn't know that that there was shame there.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that washed up at one point to recognize that whoa, this is I have been attaching my worth to my sexuality and how I project that outwardly.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: I love how you brought up that you are attaching your value to it, because the antidote to shame is value and what we value.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that belief in we are missing or we are broken, it's a part of ourselves that it's like we have no value because we are broken.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: That moment of there's something wrong with me, I'm broken.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: That belief, you just give your power away.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just gone and your value has just tanked.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's like driving a car, a new car off the lot.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as you leave the lot, the value has already gone down like 10 grand.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as you have that belief of, I am broken, there's something wrong with me, your sense of self-value just like goes in the toilet.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's important that we value ourselves and we feel valued.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: So when someone comes along that says, Oh, I know what to do to fix that, I know what to do to fix you.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, that hope of, oh, you'll fix me and then I will be valuable again.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: I will have value that gives that person power over us.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, for example, if you're a Catholic, I am not poo-pooing Catholicism.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: If it works for you, I am very happy for you.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Did not work for me.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's a belief in Catholicism that it's called original sin, which means it doesn't matter how good you are, as soon as you pass through your mother's birth canal, you are hosed.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: You are coated in sin.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: You are just hope to God that you live a good life so that uh you will be that you give your life to Jesus and you will be saved so that you make it to heaven.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: So you suffer, you give, you serve through your life, and you hope that when you die it will be better.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um that feeling of you are totally screwed and there's something wrong with you before you even have a chance to breathe, automatic just devalue.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: You come into the world feeling guilty for breathing and existing.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I left the Catholic Church because of that, because I was being told about how uh how sinful I was just because I was alive and breathing.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I left the Catholic Church, I was really pissed.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I had this long conversation with Jesus where I basically flipped him off and said, I'm done.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Your church has done horrible things, and I don't know that, you know, it like they're doing it in your name, and I don't see you doing anything about it.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm out of here.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Good luck, I'm done.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Walked away, uh, started looking into other spiritual paths, and I was meditating.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it was probably like six months later.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sitting there in meditation, and Jesus came to me in meditation, which I was like, what?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, why are you here?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just shocked for a minute.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Will you please give me the opportunity to get to know you?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I would never, I'm like, I had to think about that for a minute.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm not even sure what that means.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, don't you already know me?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're Jesus.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And that started changing my relationship with my spirituality and with that particular ascended master who I love and adore, and I work with him every day.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I consider myself Christian, even though I do not follow Christian, traditional Christian standards.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Christian means you believe in Christ.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I totally believe in that man.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: But part of this story, we were talking about our value, and that these I have to, I should, I must are direct connections to how we think of ourselves and our value.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: I must do this because uh it's what makes me valuable.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: I have to lose 10 pounds, otherwise I won't be as valuable.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was, I was the queen of I must have or I have to, and then overworking.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I was sitting in meditation again, and I was really stressed out because I had a deadline, or I overscheduled myself again, chronic state.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: And again, Jesus popped in and he goes, I want you to understand something that you get up every day and you breathe, and you're that's that's all you have to do every day.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: You are totally valuable.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you have totally sealed your value right there.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can do nothing else all day, and your value is sealed.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: My love for you is sealed.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: There is nothing else you have to do.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Anything else you do on top of that, besides just breathing every day, that's just icing on the cake.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it has nothing to do with your inherent value.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that threw me for a loop.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh because, again, raised as Catholic, which means you serve, you serve until you break, you serve until there's nothing left to give, and then you give 10% more beyond that.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where your value is.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you are holy, that's how you earn your place.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: And to have that beautiful, compassionate being come to me who you know, the church is built around and say, you breathe, you exist, and that is your value.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's all that's important.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Everything else, that's just icing.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, just changed my reality, totally shifted my world.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: Pause on that.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, just because you fucking breathe, drop the mic, walk out.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think we I think we just finished.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: Just because you breathe, you are valuable.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: That is literally it.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: There's nothing else to force or prove or anything out there.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I loved how you brought up work because that like I I talked about sex before, and that's a big thing, right?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: When we talk about in this podcast, but that was very challenging for me to see, especially because of the trauma there.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: But uh another thing that you can do that I that downloaded in was I know that I also worked to prove my value.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'll I'll give this exercise out there.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: If you are working, say nine to five job, and you get paid for from nine to five, and then you work actually more, you work nine to seven, uh ask yourself, would you ask your boss for more money?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: And then if you won't, why not?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: And then if you do and they say no, then would you go back to working nine to five?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_02: And then if you can't do that, ask yourself why.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like just being curious, why won't I get, won't I just work what I'm getting paid for, right?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: Or like what there may maybe there's other energy exchanges, right?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe there's other perks, there's other things to ask, like, you know, maybe you uh get more vacation days, whatever, right?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: Being creative.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: So there's an energy exchange and a value to what we bring, and just being curious about, I know for me, I was working 60 plus hours in my 20s.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I was making good fucking money.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: I was making, I was making six figures, but it was not worth that because the rest of my personal life was out the door.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I was avoiding all this stuff in my home life.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: I was avoiding all, I didn't even know I was avoiding my trauma.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't know at that point, I was not conscious at all.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: But I had something to prove.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: And that went back to a bit of how I grew up and the the dynamics of even the sports and like the the dynamics of a lot of the tension and the stress and the chaos around needing to be the best.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: And that was how I was seen in a certain way.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I had other dynamics in my life of of of trauma and other things there.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: So it was like, you see me and I'm safe and I'm valuable.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but that's not true.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: So I really equated my success to that.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: So just look at that that exercise, being curious.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: Why not?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: Why won't you speak up and why won't you cut back?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, because you're deserving of it again, because you breathe.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because you breathe.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I like how you're saying that because I'm telling you right now, anyone who is doing that, as soon as they think about it, they're going to say, because I have to.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I have to to keep ahead.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: I have to to be valuable for this company.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: I have to.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: Anywhere there's a I have to, I need to, I must, I should.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, ah, look at that.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: I invite you to consider looking at that value system.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Invitation.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: And don't get me started on the value to the company is not saying that there isn't truth to that, but also there's so much truth to how they can easily find other people.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: Every person is unique and is not replaceable in their own right.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: But as a business, as a lot of businesses, not every business, but a lot of businesses, like they'll just, okay, we'll find someone else, right?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I get it, there's budget, there's all these things, but uh it goes to back to you know, you go elsewhere.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: You go elsewhere where you feel that value because it's over it's always going to be in that overperformance.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's always gonna be in that seeking.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: And and then there's a balance of other things, you know, if you're truly happy with what you do, great.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: But also the energy exchange.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: Always like a I have to I know you don't have to do shit.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_02: Don't have to do shit.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's what so this awesome podcast is sponsored by Enlightened Energy Works.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Would you like to meet your spirit guides or build a deeper connection with them?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: If so, I have an online self-guided course with simple exercises and recommendations to help you build your connection with your spirit guides in your own way and at your own pace.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you're interested, please check it out at www.angelashelby.com or click the link in the show notes.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the thing, it it doesn't mean just sit inside and do nothing.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's just uh attaching our value to what we do, our inherent value, like our right to deserve to exist, our our right to go on to heaven, or you know, our right just as value as a human being, we breathe.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Value is sealed.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Anything else we do on top of that, great.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that takes, at least for me, the have-to's out of it.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's not what do I have to do, it's what do I get to do.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Shifting my thinking.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: If it's an I have to, it's like, is this really vital for me?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: For example, being a nurse, I'm a nurse too.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of nursing work is really hard.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: And there have been a lot of times where it's like, well, I have to go to work.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: I have to go to work.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Not I get to go to work, I have to go to work, I have to pay my bills.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: This has to happen.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's like this life is my creation.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: I do have to pay my bills.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do to shift it so that I get to go to work?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I started looking at different types of nursing and different places to work and try different things on until I found something that fit me pretty good.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: And now it's you know I get to go to work.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: I get to travel now as part of my job.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I get to so it's shifting that and remembering at least for me that it's my creation.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: What do I want it to look like?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: I want to have to I want to get to yeah and what can I do to shift it from I have to to I get to yes I don't want to have to live life.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like I don't want to have to fuck man I'm fucking living living the Via Loca baby.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: And for me it's there's a little bit that I I brought in with that exercise where you start to be curious and the next step for me and all the mixes in between there's the awareness there's the curiosity there's the beliefs and then it's also the boundaries so the boundaries would be like in the in the circumstance of work is I I now I'm creating a boundary where I'm I am only going to to work in these spaces if I'm not compensated in some sort of energetic exchange that feels good to me.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: Or my boundary is I leave.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then if we look at like our sex and sexuality right we look at how do how will I feel in this experience so say you call it casual like these are all labels right when you call it casual a relationship this experience how am I going to feel am I going to be waiting by the phone because I had sex and it was a casual experience and I'm waiting by the phone to figure out if they're going to call me that's having to live life and waiting on the edge and waiting to see if someone will see me.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: So we look at it in the context of intention but also how am I going to truly feel because I I understand I I understand the space where you're an in but maybe you're in between.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: So if you're in between where you are not sure how you're you'll feel or you think you may feel that way either you have a boundary around casual or you express you know in in that in that experience where you you do want to embody the experience in a different way you are open to casual but then you have an expression of boundaries with that partner on what feels good is like yeah I would like to actually have a text after shoot me an emoji I would like to have a chat.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: I understand that this is what what we're creating but have that I don't want to say like definition like it's defined in a box and that's always how it's going to be beforehand but have conscious relating with another being and say what is it that I want and this is how I feel and if they are not open for that then they are not the one and of course people can lie.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah I get that um so there may be flags or indicators or symptoms of that that you learn through the process too as well.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_02: Or then you just learn I don't do casual I'm going to date right these are boundaries that we create so that when we're in and exploring our sexuality we actually feel good.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's like how do I feel not versus how do they feel about me?
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yes exactly because when we're in that well how do they feel about me no think like you said thinking on a date sitting across from someone I wonder what they're thinking about me.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it should really be I value myself like that when we're in that what do they think about me it's from that mindset of I wonder what they think about me because I wonder if they see where I'm lacking.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if they see you know where I'm shaky I am I putting on you know am I presenting myself well are they really seeing me I don't know that I want them to really see me because I know I'm broken.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm missing something that's coming from a place of shame and it's it's a dangerous place.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a good place to come from but if you're thinking how what do I think of them how am I feeling right now it's it's recognizing like you said your own value.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: And understanding I'm not broken.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I may not be perfect but I'm not broken and there's nothing missing.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: I am I'm valuable because I breathe and valuable because I'm here everything else on top of that i sing good bad perfect imperfect all the quirks and a lot of our quirks and what we think to be our imperfections are some of our best qualities turned up a little too high and or they are what make us individual and vital and precious.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah that I like how you how you were talking about you know it's about how do I feel yeah this is where I'm coming from this is my self value coming from that place automatically clicks you into being honest because you're checking in with how you feel and if you're thinking that you're checking in with well am I presenting myself and how I feel authentically can you like I can feel the energy shift just talking about it.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah it's it's a way of relating and if somebody has a problem with that I like that again drop the mic.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: If you have a problem with that then you know this is not meant to be yeah there's a billions of other people out there literally that will take you as you are yeah yeah it goes from performance to right how do you feel about me and I'm gonna perform because I'm thinking about that to like I'm fucking valuable.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm here yep if you see it great.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_02: If you don't okay like I know where it stands.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_02: So it just it switches the energy and so when we operate from that space it goes from projecting fear and insecurity and you need to see me so I'm gonna do these things I'm gonna have sex with you I'm gonna do all these things it goes from that space to I'm good.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: I don't need to do any of that oh if I get to because I I care about this connection and it's great and I am an intention and flow drop a dime on me baby like I love it like yes mic drop I breathe that's it I breathe and I see my value.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yep yeah that was is that your takeaway that sounds like a really good takeaway do you have another takeaway for today no I mean I dropped the mic on that one so no that would that would be my takeaway yeah how about you uh my takeaway for today that is a very good question I just had it and I got so caught up in your takeaway that it just left give me the same my takeaway is we are not broken we are different period nobody nobody's truly broken we are different I am doing my best to see my traumas my imperfections my quirks my my strengths my weaknesses is all like different colors on a painter's palette what am I gonna create with this I'm not broken this is just these are the colors I'm presented with what do I want to create with these colors what do I want to do with this trauma do I want to stuff it well I can try that do I like the result is it good is it bad I don't know try it on if stuffing it's not working I it hasn't worked for me doesn't work um I'm gonna try it this way I'm gonna allow I'm gonna deal with it I'm gonna allow it to move through what is that like instead of this happened to me I'm broken I was treated this way I'm broken or I you know I'm five four instead of five seven I'm broken it's I'm different what am I going to do with what I have been given what am I going to create with what I have been given yes mic drop just because I breathe just I I already breathe I my value is sealed I'm here and I breathe I love it I love it well thank you for tuning in today to Erotic Spirit Podcast if you enjoy what you like hit that subscribe button we're on all the major platforms come follow us on all the social medias check out the website eroticspiritpodcast dot com and bye for now this podcast is sponsored by my awakening within if you are looking for some sort of practice to drop into your pleasure to reconnect to your body to start to build and cultivate safety from within join me on this online self-guided journey where you will start to learn breathwork techniques emotional release practices and start to build this foundation of safety and security from a place of presence so join me online myAwakeningwithin.com or linked in the show notes thanks for hanging with us today if you find value in this podcast please like subscribe and share