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Fearless Encouragement · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hey there.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is Mark.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is the podcast called Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining me today.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, well, this podcast is just about kind of checking in with yourself.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: We get really good at beating ourselves up, or at least I have, and the experience I have with working with people.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's hard to overcome those sour inner voices.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: So this podcast is around positive psychology, helping people step towards that better version of themselves.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm glad you're here sharing your time with me.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Today I wanted to talk about a couple things that have been on my mind as I've been working and reading and writing through this week.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: The first one is this sense of fearless coaching.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: When I've been listening back to some of my transcripts and learning from my sessions and learning from the things I'm writing and rereading things and editing, well, that's number one, it's that's really painful stuff for me.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you've ever watched yourself play a sport, like watch the video, or sat down and wrote something and then reread it, trying to kind of get out some nuggets, or even just practice this standing in front of a microphone.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's talking or singing to people, or maybe it's putting artwork on the wall.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is, when we get vulnerable, um, we have to get fearless in a way.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: And well, that is freaking hard.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Fearless coaching for me and what I see and what I do, and the amazing transformations that come from conversations, that takes a big shot of courage to do day in and day out.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: We forget the consistency of showing up and training towards or having those amazing things, whether it be a workout, whether it be a conversation, whether it be learning every day or reading every day or being creative every day, or maybe being a better dad, better mom, a better part of your community.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: When we have those fearless conversations with ourselves and with others, well, oftentimes it can leave us raw and kind of coming out of it, maybe a little angry, maybe disappointed in ourselves.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I think the practice of fierce encouragement needs to come online when we kind of do these doubtful sessions or have some fearless coaching or a crucial conversation.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: It might be something that leaves us kind of aching for something better.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's a couple tools we can apply here in the sense of fierce encouragement and putting uh a tactical practice online, and that's creating a micro moment of uh amazingness for yourself.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So just take a pause in your day and connect back with a tiny, um, maybe an invisible in some moments, an experience where you got better and connected with others or made progress in the past few days.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to alert ourselves to those opportunities where we can connect and slow down and create space for remembering the good stuff, uh the warm moments.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: So look for it.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then go a little deeper if you can.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Offer your attention, um, think about connecting deeply with that idea where you had success.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: In a sense, have a deeper conversation with yourself about it.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Remind yourself of the goodness it spreads.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: We often get really good at s thinking it needed to be harder.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I had a client say that to me this week.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to celebrate because I believe it needs to be harder.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: That I should be further along is another thing I hear every week, and I read in my own journals.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: This idea of needing to be further along, or it should be harder than what I'm doing, is kind of a joke we play on ourselves, and we might even physically laugh at that.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: We might laugh that we're so we know what we need to do, but yet we're not doing it.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that becomes the joke we play on ourselves.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: When we ask extraordinary things to happen in our lives, whether that just be solid conversations, um, good friends, a healthy body, and maybe some deeper parts of our lives that we can really love and celebrate about ourselves, when we want those simple but extraordinary results from our human life, well there needs to be extraordinary requests and questions and relationships that challenge.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: So while we might get good at minimizing our wins and thinking less of ourselves, we should know that that correlates to those extraordinary results we want.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: If we are gonna choose to focus on the lesser part of ourselves or our limitations too consistently, those extraordinary results will pass us by and instead we'll have extraordinary um limitations.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: The quote is uh argue for your limitations and don't worry, you'll get them.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And man, that's hard to say out loud, and it's hard to write, and it's hard to remember that kind of when we're in the moment practicing.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Which brings me back to kind of a foundation, a basis for all of this.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this comes from the idea of life force as it was shared by Phil Stutz in the Netflix documentary about Phil Stutz with Jonah Hill.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: But this idea of life force, if you draw a triangle and at the very base, if you cut that triangle in thirds, two lines horizontal going up, the base of the triangle would be the body.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot of our foundation of our life force.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: The second uh layer of this triangle would be the other people, others.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then the very top of the triangle would be the self or I.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: So if we want to get better and build up our life force and have a solid foundation or a solid triangle, at the very base we want to build up that body and that energy.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: The second level is the other, and they made the analogy if you want to climb this triangle, this mountain, so to speak, you will need to be able to reach out to that middle section and connect with others and in a sense see other people as a representation of the universe or God, or you could even go to spiritual ideas.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: What if we see the God-like, uh beautiful, radiant aspect of people more often?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: What if we played and tried to do that day in and day out instead of argue for the limitations of society?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, self-reflectively here, after a really difficult traveling experience on the weekend driving and seeing the kind of chaotic and just the speeding and the risky traffic driving, um, it really just made me pause and actually woke me up the other morning, just thinking how close there we were to an accident and how people will take silly chances just to save a car length.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Or even just reflecting on that anger and frustration that it builds up in myself when driving in those conditions.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: When we can, I guess, come back and understand that we're part of a whole, and when we work with others out in the world, it can be really disturbing.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And at the same time, that is kind of where we can climb the mountain and have a good solid base to our life.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, the top of the pyramid, the top of this life force pyramid or triangle is ourself and that relationship we have with ourselves.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: How we can bring more of that into um awareness and just being present with ourselves, how we can invest in ourselves, how we work with that those shadow parts of ourselves, and basically how we can thrive and kind of flourish in our own higher achievement way.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, why do I bring this life force triangle up?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's a really good visual for me, if you can visualize it.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the base is where we need to make sure that we are moving, that we are sleeping, and that we're eating healthy.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: And this does not mean we need to do the overindulgence with healthy stuff either.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: A nice balanced life is best.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine to uh have treats occasionally, but really find out what is balanced for you.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: We don't need to compete with others, but just compete with that person we were last week or last month.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: How can I get a little bit better at the diet, nutrition, sleep?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: When we focus on that bottom part of the pyramid, that makes up such a foundation of how we will feel going into the next month or two.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: When we consider, if we just invest in some energy practices, some better sleep, maybe it's better hydration, maybe it's just a little bit better food, when we get five, 10% better on that, we make big progress in our day-to-day and in our life.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, find those moments where you are or you can connect with people and thinking about that second life force when we slow down and find those moments where we can connect or just slow down and celebrate and kind of reach out and open up instead of um isolate or regress.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard work sometimes, and especially in this day and age where we're all connected to the things that you have in your ears or the what you're listening to.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to be pulled inward with constant information when it's also really important for us to connect with people socially, whatever that means for you.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Going to church, getting out of your house, um, even just reading a book and having a cup of coffee somewhere, a way where you connect in a social way with people and have meaningful, intimate moments with them.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's a good place to end because at the very top of the pyramid, I think we all know to how to invest in ourselves.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Keep doing the things that you do to make you a better person.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: But in this middle level, when we deal with others, that can be the most troublesome area.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, for whatever that means to you, reach out to one person, uh, have a practice of challenging yourself.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I've been working with one of my clients on this for the past two or three weeks.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: As uh a man who doesn't have a lot of deep connections and recently went through a breakup.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's really important that we create intimate moments with others in our community.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And what do I mean by that?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's not intimate in that way, so get your mind out of thegether.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: But it is something where we slow down, look people in the eye, ask how they're doing, and not just say good morning, but hey, this is a good morning.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: How how have you been?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: How uh is the depth of your life going?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it is interesting where we can be there for others, and at the same time, if we ever need to talk, it's great to have those few people or maybe a little bit more that we can connect with.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or getting good at connecting with strangers and creating rapport and listening to people.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: What a gift you could give to your family, to your friends, your community.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you showed up with one or two percent more of that over the next month, what an amazing project that we can think should be harder.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And we can almost, I don't know, not take those steps just to be a little bit more compassionate or a little more grounded for those around us.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to thank you for listening.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna keep this tight.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Think about the fearlessness that it takes.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Think about the extraordinary things that you want in this life and how those need extraordinary questions and extraordinary requests.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And also check that minimizing part of yourself that needs to pull yourself down or devalue what you've been up to.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: Take some time to journal or even reflect right now for a minute afterwards a few things that have been going well for you, and how can you do a little bit more of that?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, think about that life force uh triangle or pyramid.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Think about how you can build up that physical energy, knowing that it's the foundation of that.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: The more you work on that, the more you're gonna feel plugged into your life, the more you're gonna have the ability to show up for the people on the second half of the mountain, the others where we need to slow down and learn to be present with others and how we can just, I guess, in a way, not uh be uh mean to them with our hearts and maybe even fiercely encourage them with love and compassion.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that means just creating healthy boundaries.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Again, my name is Mark.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: I am a full-time coach.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: I do speaking and workshop engagements, and I will be going into a little blitz going in here to the last part of um this month as we move into September.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: I can't believe September is here.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: But check out the link I'll put in the show notes if you're interested in joining a workshop and a webinar I'm doing online.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: It'll be during the week and it'll be in and around these ideas I share in parcel and in whole.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: But more or less, it'll be giving you an experience of what I work with people one-on-one about pausing and slowing down and creating this better, I guess, mindset and energy around their work and around their uh life and families and those relationships that we were talking about in this episode.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, check out for that link if you're interested in joining me.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, I really appreciate you being here listening.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know I can help you take care of yourself.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Have a good day and a good evening wherever you're at out there.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, bye bye.