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How Your Style Shapes Your Identity: Tips from a Personal Stylist · Seated with Furniture Row

• 0:01
  Hi, and welcome to the Seated podcast with Furniture Row.
• 0:04
  I'm Jessa, creative director and design extraordinaire, and I'm.
• 0:08
  Barb, interior designer and buyer, welcome back to the
• 0:15
  Seated podcast. We are talking today about the
• 0:18
  psychology behind style and today's special guest is
• 0:23
  Samantha Don. Hi, Samantha.
• 0:26
  Hi. So glad you could join us today.
• 0:28
  Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
• 0:30
  I'm excited too. Let's just talk about Samantha
• 0:33
  Don. She is a personal stylist and
• 0:36
  style coach who helps high level female leaders and executives
• 0:40
  find their next level personal style so they can own who they
• 0:45
  are in their next era. She fuses style and psychology,
• 0:49
  a framework she developed after re establishing herself post
• 0:53
  motherhood. She's been featured in Harper's
• 0:57
  Bazaar and in Style styled on sets for major brands, but her
• 1:03
  favorite thing is styling powerful women stepping into
• 1:07
  their next chapter. Wow, when do you sleep,
• 1:12
  Samantha? Never.
• 1:14
  Goodness, we are just so happy to have you here and you just
• 1:18
  style so well. I wish you could have styled me
• 1:20
  today because I could have used that.
• 1:24
  So you know, we'd like to ask you about your own personal
• 1:27
  style of your home and just how you style yourself as well.
• 1:32
  Yeah. Thank you.
• 1:33
  Where? Where would you like me to
• 1:34
  start? Let's start with your own
• 1:36
  personal style. Tell us a little bit about your
• 1:38
  background and how you got into styling and then we'll talk
• 1:42
  about your home as well, OK? So how I got started was
• 1:45
  actually a happy accident. Style was not the end goal for
• 1:49
  me. I actually was studying to be a
• 1:51
  or not psychology. A therapist is what I was trying
• 1:54
  to be and style was always just kind of a, a side hustle, if you
• 1:59
  will, to help me pay my bills. It was just something I was just
• 2:01
  naturally had an eye for. Worked in a lot of fashion
• 2:04
  retail, working for other companies.
• 2:06
  And it was COVID. I had my first baby two weeks
• 2:10
  before the whole world shut down.
• 2:12
  And that that was the moment where I had to really decide who
• 2:20
  am I and what do I want my style to actually be.
• 2:24
  And this is the reason why, because I had quit my job and my
• 2:28
  wardrobe was very. Were you working as a therapist
• 2:31
  at that point? No, so I never actually became a
• 2:33
  therapist. I actually just stopped that
• 2:35
  road, OK, because I'm just such a big empath and I wanted to
• 2:39
  work with delinquents. And I just feel like that's a
• 2:45
  whole another podcast in itself. But ears just kind of shifted
• 2:48
  and I was just kind of living like trying to get the paycheck,
• 2:50
  pay my bills. And so I had quit my job and my
• 2:55
  wardrobe was very tied. My identity was tied to my job.
• 2:59
  Therefore, my wardrobe was based off of my work.
• 3:01
  So when you would pick out an outfit to where to work, it was
• 3:05
  to go with. That the intention was to work
• 3:07
  with the brand image, what that looked like.
• 3:10
  Like I was part of that. And so that was the intention
• 3:13
  with my wardrobe. And once I quit that job because
• 3:17
  none of, one, none of my clothes fit because I gained more pant
• 3:21
  sizes after my first final, and two, it wasn't matching who I
• 3:25
  was. It just didn't I, I've already
• 3:28
  evolved past it. And so I told myself, I really,
• 3:33
  let's just focus on it postpartum.
• 3:35
  I just had a baby, it's COVID, I don't know what's happening.
• 3:38
  So I gave myself a style makeover.
• 3:40
  And at the same time, I was doing psychological practices on
• 3:43
  to myself for the first time simultaneously.
• 3:45
  Oh, wow. And that ended up being a happy
• 3:47
  accident where I could actually look in the mirror and say, ah,
• 3:53
  there she is. There's the woman I know who
• 3:56
  I've been like dreaming of, like, it's never really got
• 3:59
  there. And so not only did I feel like
• 4:01
  myself again, I looked like the version of myself where I felt
• 4:05
  so confident just being me. And as someone who grew up being
• 4:11
  a chameleon in her life, because I moved around a lot, I just had
• 4:14
  to adapt a lot. It was very, it just felt really
• 4:17
  good. Yeah.
• 4:17
  And that's where I said I think I know what I want to do with my
• 4:22
  life. And so I started talking about
• 4:25
  it on social media, specifically Tiktok, and that really
• 4:28
  resonated with a lot of women. And now it's six years later,
• 4:33
  it'll be 6 years this year since I've started that.
• 4:35
  And I've helped women all over the world do the same process
• 4:39
  that I did to myself when I was first discovering me.
• 4:42
  And so that's how it kind of came together.
• 4:44
  That's so good and I love that you invested in yourself and and
• 4:50
  then you that confidence was just grew and that now all of
• 4:54
  these ladies around the world and how do you do that?
• 4:57
  Like if somebody's in another country, how are you styling
• 5:00
  them virtual, virtual style of the computer and just go through
• 5:05
  their their closet or do you show, you know, they show you
• 5:09
  their home and you can see their style?
• 5:12
  How do you do it? So if we're talking specifically
• 5:14
  about the closet, they'll take their laptop with them and then
• 5:18
  we will just go through it every single piece.
• 5:21
  And when you work with me, you get your own app, so you get to
• 5:24
  digitize your whole wardrobe. So that's easy for me to go
• 5:27
  through your closet and then make outfits at the same time.
• 5:29
  And then you have your love book in your app as well.
• 5:32
  So you could just pick outfits from there.
• 5:33
  So that's like the external physicality part of it.
• 5:36
  But working in the psychology aspect with the personal style,
• 5:41
  I just need to have a conversation with you because I,
• 5:44
  I just talked about this with a client this week.
• 5:46
  It's not really about what you say for me to understand who you
• 5:49
  are, what your style is. It's how you're saying it, your
• 5:52
  body language of how you're talking about it and yourself
• 5:55
  and translating that into a personal style that actually
• 5:58
  feels like you. Yeah.
• 6:01
  So when you were saying you go through the closet and you, you
• 6:04
  have this app that it shows all of their clothes and you can put
• 6:07
  things together. I could see, you know, in your
• 6:10
  own home. If you're wanting to edit a room
• 6:12
  or maybe even your whole house, sometimes it's nice just to pull
• 6:17
  things out and then reorganize them or put them in different
• 6:22
  rooms, you know, like an accent chair.
• 6:24
  An accent chair that was in your living room may end up in a
• 6:27
  bedroom now so that you can, you know, use some of the same
• 6:31
  things you've had, just in a different way.
• 6:35
  Do you ever tell people you need to maybe just lose that?
• 6:38
  Whoops. Oh, 100% yeah.
• 6:41
  We're not going to work with that.
• 6:42
  I think letting go is part of the process for sure, because
• 6:46
  you can't. I always tell my clients we need
• 6:48
  to get rid of the things that do not serve you so we can make
• 6:50
  room for the things that do. And that's for your closet
• 6:53
  because it's just taking up space, taking up a lot of energy
• 6:57
  that's just making it feel cluttered.
• 6:58
  And you can't really pick an outfit when you're super older.
• 7:01
  Well, I think the same thing goes with your home.
• 7:04
  There might be some memories that I do it, but she's taking
• 7:07
  up space as a couch that I got on yesterday.
• 7:10
  And when we took out our old couch, she's so ratty.
• 7:13
  She's so old, like. Did you even know that though
• 7:16
  before you brought a new one? I knew of that pit, but I was
• 7:20
  just it's. Fine.
• 7:22
  It's OK because we walk past it every day.
• 7:24
  Yeah. So it just becomes part of the
• 7:26
  rest of the, you know, environment and and you don't
• 7:29
  really notice it until you do take it out, right.
• 7:31
  Yeah. So my home was really a the
• 7:36
  intention behind it was convenience, to be totally
• 7:38
  honest with you, because three days before we signed for our
• 7:41
  house is when I found out I was pregnant.
• 7:43
  Oh wow. So I was like, oh, through some
• 7:46
  major life changes, all of a sudden at.
• 7:48
  The same time and so I didn't really have time to just build a
• 7:51
  home that was intentional and curated and that felt like me.
• 7:57
  It was really just built out of community.
• 7:59
  I needed a couch. I don't have time to pay because
• 8:01
  I'm working all the time. I'm, I was, I am so a
• 8:05
  workaholic. Like it was just mainly
• 8:08
  convenience. And so after refurnishing our
• 8:12
  home or our our living room, it was like, oh, this, this is what
• 8:18
  it feels like to have a style in your own home and it feels like
• 8:23
  you and it just felt it just felt natural, felt good.
• 8:27
  It felt happy to be in. And that the same thing goes
• 8:31
  with your closet too, right? A lot of women have their
• 8:34
  wardrobe just based out of convenience.
• 8:35
  What's fast, what's easy. And I just need AT shirt and a
• 8:38
  Jean, call it the sneakers, call it good.
• 8:40
  But then you kind of just settle with it and after time you
• 8:44
  notice something just doesn't feel right.
• 8:46
  Something is a little off. Off, but because the intention
• 8:49
  was never about you, it was about what was convenient.
• 8:53
  And that's the biggest thing that I see with style, is
• 8:57
  putting yourself back first and making your personal style
• 9:02
  actually personal and feeling like you.
• 9:06
  Yeah, I think, you know, it is the year of investing in our
• 9:11
  homes, investing in ourselves with our wardrobes, with how our
• 9:15
  homes look. You know, it's just your home is
• 9:18
  the place where you should feel most comfortable and, and most
• 9:22
  like yourself, right. So definitely, you know, if
• 9:27
  there's if there is a place to start, it's it's with your home
• 9:31
  and it's with your own personal style.
• 9:33
  I think we have some pictures of your transformation at your
• 9:36
  home. If we we could look at those.
• 9:39
  So this was your before and this is after and this was just
• 9:44
  yesterday, right That we just. Also, my dog Kai knew he was had
• 9:48
  to be in both if you could see him.
• 9:51
  I love the dog, I mean, the dog is definitely comfortable on the
• 9:54
  sofa. There I knew let's see my home
• 9:57
  was built out of convenience like toys everywhere for the
• 10:00
  children, a full length mirror for myself or not just myself,
• 10:03
  but for people. The couch was just made, the
• 10:06
  convenience and then and it didn't have personality.
• 10:10
  It just felt like, OK, I have the pieces.
• 10:12
  Yeah, you have the pieces that was good function for.
• 10:14
  Yeah, that was good enough for the time being.
• 10:17
  But then there was moments where I would go.
• 10:21
  I mean, I just know my home is more stable.
• 10:24
  My style did not match my home. And I was like, there's
• 10:28
  something missing. But I really needed to have, I
• 10:33
  needed to be realistic with myself.
• 10:34
  So this is kind of like finding your personal style, having a
• 10:38
  style that aligns with you, but also works with your lifestyle
• 10:42
  and and compliments that, right. Because if I had to, if I had
• 10:45
  the full freedom to be my true personal style, it would be like
• 10:49
  Fashion Week every single day. But functionality wise, that
• 10:53
  doesn't work for me with my two small children.
• 10:55
  I can't be running around in like stilettos all day and be
• 10:59
  very difficult. Yeah.
• 10:59
  And when I first had my children, I was breastfeeding,
• 11:02
  so they couldn't wear what I wanted to wear because they
• 11:04
  would just have it up all over it, you know?
• 11:07
  So it was just convenience and redesigning the layout of my
• 11:13
  living room. It was designing it with the
• 11:17
  intention of me, of who I how I want it to be, which was more
• 11:22
  sweet, more playful. But I also wanted it to be more
• 11:25
  functional for the family, for the family, right?
• 11:28
  Is that why you ended up with the lounges on each side?
• 11:32
  Correct. So I chose the Roxy on purpose
• 11:34
  because she wants she pulls out right into that bigger bed.
• 11:39
  The. Bed in the middle.
• 11:40
  The armless pieces in the middle, like a bed.
• 11:43
  Yes and my kids, you know, jump on couches all the time, so
• 11:47
  that's great. It also has pockets in the
• 11:49
  couches where I can lift it up and has so much storage.
• 11:52
  This. My original couch didn't have
• 11:54
  that and so is she look wise 110% of what I wanted.
• 12:01
  And more. And more we have.
• 12:03
  Storage now within the sofa. Yes and that I think that's
• 12:06
  where like the functionality piece name in and then the look
• 12:11
  wise of it. She was more clean, she was more
• 12:13
  sleek. If I could have it my way, it
• 12:17
  probably would look more like my lounge chair over here.
• 12:20
  Is that what we call it? A lounge chair?
• 12:21
  Yeah, it's just an accent. An accent chair?
• 12:24
  Yeah, there was like a bigger version of that that I loved.
• 12:27
  I know that sofa, it's quite stunning, but it does not hold.
• 12:31
  Functionality. Exactly, it doesn't have.
• 12:33
  Poison in it or blankets. Exactly.
• 12:35
  It doesn't work with my lifestyle.
• 12:37
  So I had to really decide, OK, how am I going to switch this up
• 12:42
  to make it feel like me, but also work with the home and the
• 12:46
  lifestyle that I have with my children.
• 12:48
  And so it's like I had to, I had it ended up with the Roxy
• 12:54
  because I actually loved her out of all of them in terms of
• 12:56
  functionality and luck wise. But then it's also just adding
• 12:59
  and styling it to make it feel more like me like.
• 13:03
  So right now it's that picture was taken right after we got
• 13:07
  everything, but I added a zebra pillow because I, I love the
• 13:11
  zebra print. I added more gold accents and
• 13:14
  decor. There's like fashion books now,
• 13:15
  but that just felt more like me. And that's kind of like style
• 13:19
  too, where you have your basics and you can see a piece for what
• 13:23
  it is. But if you don't think about the
• 13:25
  styling aspects of it and making it feel more like you, it just
• 13:30
  people don't click with that, right?
• 13:32
  The home decor and the pieces that's like your accessory, the
• 13:36
  rug, the coffee table, like those are your basics in your
• 13:38
  closet. Yeah, it's like the rug.
• 13:40
  That's your shoes exactly. The sofa and your Blazers.
• 13:44
  The accessories are your pillows and your throws.
• 13:47
  Right, Exactly, exactly. And so I think that's just so
• 13:52
  wild with the parallel of the the world.
• 13:55
  They're just so different, but they're.
• 13:58
  Actually, they're very yes. Exactly.
• 14:01
  So yeah, you can have a base like your couch and AT shirt,
• 14:06
  but then there's a huge difference when you have AT
• 14:09
  shirt with a brooch on it to make it a little bit more sleek,
• 14:12
  a couch with a zebra pillow because it feels more sleek,
• 14:15
  right? And it's more elevated.
• 14:17
  Yeah, exactly, exactly. Cuz I'm not gonna lie, when this
• 14:21
  process first happened I was super overwhelmed.
• 14:24
  I was with. Redoing your room.
• 14:26
  Yes, yes, because people don't think that before, like Sam,
• 14:30
  you're a stylist. This should be easy.
• 14:31
  It actually wasn't because I wasn't thinking about the
• 14:33
  parallels. I just thought about kind of
• 14:36
  like when, when my clients look at their closets and they're
• 14:38
  like, I'm just overwhelmed, what do I do?
• 14:40
  The same thing happened to me with this whole design process
• 14:43
  at first because I didn't know what to do and it went back to
• 14:48
  the basics of building the foundation, which is what is
• 14:52
  your personal style? What feels like you, what is
• 14:55
  your lifestyle, right? And then taking the style types
• 15:02
  and aligning with that, right? There's a difference between
• 15:04
  alignment and appreciation. So really finding the pieces
• 15:06
  that I align with and then the fit, understanding what works
• 15:11
  for your body shape, cuts, fits. Same thing with this, the space.
• 15:14
  What is the space? What is the square footage of
• 15:19
  this? What pieces can actually work
• 15:21
  and what doesn't? Because I actually love the
• 15:23
  bigger version of the Roxy. But that's yeah, and it comes in
• 15:26
  a annoying generation. It wouldn't have fit.
• 15:31
  And so once I took the process like personal style, that's when
• 15:36
  it really clicked for me of OK, this is doable and more
• 15:41
  digestible when I think about it in the stylist perspective.
• 15:44
  And that made styling and designing the layout so much
• 15:48
  more fun for me. So.
• 15:50
  Well, you did a great job, I mean, and I love the piece of
• 15:54
  art over the sofa and how it ties in with the rug.
• 15:57
  It just pulls the whole room together.
• 15:59
  Thank you, Thank you. I mean, I have to give credit to
• 16:02
  the ladies of Furniture Row because they helped me.
• 16:05
  They helped me decide and help me pick pieces because I told
• 16:08
  them I don't. I feel very overwhelmed.
• 16:10
  Like I really like this, but then I really like that.
• 16:13
  Like I felt like, you know how you go through every single page
• 16:16
  on a website looking at the clothes and seeing.
• 16:18
  What? That can be so overwhelming for
• 16:20
  me, and I'll do that. And that's how I felt at first
• 16:22
  walking into the store. Oh, there's so much to look at,
• 16:25
  I don't know what to do. Where do you?
• 16:27
  Start. Where do I but then going back
• 16:30
  to the foundations of what is the style, the fit and clearing
• 16:36
  out what doesn't work for me, Making room for the things that
• 16:38
  do, shopping for the pieces and then styling the pieces.
• 16:43
  I just, you don't even know if I'm describing style or
• 16:46
  furniture right? It's literally the same process.
• 16:49
  Same process. And you did.
• 16:50
  I mean, it looks beautiful. And now this is more of a
• 16:53
  reflection of your own personal style.
• 16:56
  Yes, thank you. I did want to ask you back to
• 16:59
  the fashion part of what you do in the styling.
• 17:04
  Can we talk about some of the the ladies that you have styled
• 17:08
  and you could walk us through some of those.
• 17:10
  I think we have some pictures of them that we could put up here,
• 17:13
  the befores and afters. So tell us about this client of
• 17:19
  yours here this. Client.
• 17:21
  She is a high level woman. She is a an executive and she
• 17:27
  came to me wanting to figure out her style, really elevating it
• 17:32
  and giving her a powerful presence but still being her and
• 17:36
  considering her lifestyle too. She has kids, she has a very
• 17:40
  busy social calendar, she's in pageants, she's an executive in
• 17:44
  her company. Like there's so much going on.
• 17:47
  And so it was really helping her.
• 17:51
  I think one of the biggest things that really helped her
• 17:52
  was understanding her body shape, understanding what her
• 17:56
  proportions are, what kind of cuts and fits actually work for
• 17:58
  her shape. Where does she carry more volume
• 18:00
  in the upper half, lower half? And really understanding that in
• 18:05
  order us to find the pieces and then creating the looks that
• 18:07
  actually mirror who she knows she's capable of internally and
• 18:12
  having that reflect externally. Well she looks amazing.
• 18:15
  I love how you styled her outfits and this is it.
• 18:19
  Looks like she went from a more casual.
• 18:22
  Style and even the green pants it looks like you elevated those
• 18:26
  with. Tell us about that before
• 18:30
  photos. I have my clients send me a
• 18:32
  seven day style analysis. They take photos of their self
• 18:34
  for seven days just so I can get an understanding of what their
• 18:38
  mindset is like how they currently get dressed.
• 18:39
  I just want to know baseline what is happening now.
• 18:42
  And then I restyled her pants and showed her how to maximize
• 18:50
  the wardrobe and the fit can make it more elevated.
• 18:53
  So this, it's literally the same body, literally the same pants.
• 18:58
  We just shifted her top because that added way more volume in
• 19:02
  her upper half and she doesn't need that more volume.
• 19:04
  So we lowered the volume in her upper half.
• 19:07
  We wore pointed toe boots to help elongate those legs even
• 19:10
  more rather than the round toe sneakers.
• 19:12
  So it's a lot of balancing, kind of like with furniture, you
• 19:16
  can't have everything on one side and then just one right
• 19:18
  there, right? Yeah, and and she didn't have to
• 19:22
  throw out some of her things. She she was able to reuse them
• 19:25
  just like at the house. You don't have to throw
• 19:27
  everything out exactly. You know, just repurpose some of
• 19:30
  the things you have, rearrange, maybe add.
• 19:34
  You were saying in the one picture that you added the zebra
• 19:36
  pillows add little accents. You can easily, you know,
• 19:40
  elevate your room by just adding a few things to them.
• 19:43
  Yeah, oh, 100%. Tell us about this.
• 19:46
  Is this Jamie your client? Is Jamie?
• 19:49
  Yes, this one was such a fun one to help for do so.
• 19:52
  This one, she was like a client I was telling you about earlier.
• 19:57
  Or just the psychographic of it. Convenient style.
• 20:02
  Didn't really know her shape, so just whatever was helping her
• 20:06
  get ready and dressed for the day.
• 20:07
  What I found out through this client is that she was really
• 20:10
  hiding, right? So it's kind of like with your
• 20:13
  clothing, you hide behind your clothes because there's some
• 20:16
  kind of insecurity or? This is the psychology OK tell.
• 20:21
  Us more tell us more so when I'm working with my clients I tap
• 20:25
  into an inner child and really understanding what was their
• 20:32
  life growing up what standards did they hold themselves to what
• 20:37
  projections of standards did were put on to them and that
• 20:41
  just really helped me understand why someone's dressing the way
• 20:44
  that they are why do they make the choices that they make when
• 20:48
  it comes to their wardrobe and for Jamie it was convenience and
• 20:52
  imposter syndrome and hiding her body shape because she didn't
• 20:56
  feel the most confident with it and so when does the.
• 20:59
  Imposter syndrome. Come in on that, I.
• 21:01
  Feel like with the imposters. So in my opinion, when you dress
• 21:06
  a certain way, it becomes visual confirmation of how you view
• 21:10
  yourself, right? So if you want to like when you
• 21:15
  want to be someone, right, and then you're not dressing like
• 21:20
  that person or how you want to become.
• 21:22
  The brain isn't like connect the two like, oh, OK, it's it's not
• 21:26
  there, it's a lie, whatever. And then when you do a dress
• 21:30
  like, it's like acting as if, right?
• 21:32
  When you act as if or you show up as if, you just become right.
• 21:38
  And that was like a big issue that I see saw with Jamie was
• 21:41
  like she was just dressing at a convenience, not reaching her
• 21:44
  full potential. She was this, she was at the
• 21:47
  time she was an HR manager and her confidence just wasn't
• 21:51
  there. But she was such a fun person.
• 21:54
  Her personality was so edgy, bad ass but colorful.
• 21:58
  But her style did not reflect that at all.
• 22:00
  Her style was literally. You wouldn't know it was the
• 22:03
  same person. Skinnies, leggings, big old
• 22:07
  T-shirts, big old T-shirts to just hide the body shape.
• 22:10
  And so no one clients don't tell me that straight off the bat.
• 22:13
  They're not like, oh, I'm hiding my body.
• 22:16
  So I just wear these big old T-shirts.
• 22:17
  They just say my, my style is boring.
• 22:20
  It's I just wear leggings and AT shirt, but there's just so much
• 22:23
  more to that. They're like but why do you wear
• 22:26
  waddles and AT right? I don't start the process asking
• 22:29
  what's your favorite color? What stores do you like to show
• 22:31
  off at? I really ask, like, what is
• 22:35
  where, where it is happening when you go into the closet,
• 22:38
  when you get dressed, what's the first thing you think of?
• 22:39
  And a lot of the times it's I'm going to XYZ, I'm going to see
• 22:44
  these people. And so, so many people, this
• 22:47
  client included, was dressing for the occasion rather than
• 22:52
  dressing as if you're at the occasion, right, Like that.
• 22:55
  Yeah. I'm all about dressing to
• 22:58
  express rather than dressing to Empress.
• 23:01
  And that's just way more magnetic than trying to impress
• 23:06
  other people. So you can't meet other people's
• 23:08
  expectations ever. Like then you can't control
• 23:11
  that, but you can control what you wear and how you want to
• 23:14
  show up, right? And so with this client, it was
• 23:16
  just so much fun with her wardrobe because so there's so
• 23:21
  much colors, so much fun. Like neons were her thing and
• 23:25
  you could see clearly in the photos.
• 23:27
  Yes, we changed how she was bouncing her proportions, but we
• 23:31
  probably did a wardrobe full of color, full of fun, full of
• 23:34
  personality that this is actually her.
• 23:36
  That's her. This is the version of her that
• 23:40
  has been hiding all along and they want to be seen, but
• 23:44
  they're just afraid to do it with the judgement that comes
• 23:46
  their way and that's what they think about themselves.
• 23:49
  And now she can feel liberated to just show up as her.
• 23:53
  And he's so freeing. It's so liberating.
• 23:56
  Yeah, and and I've got to think, you know, if they're doing that,
• 24:01
  if this obviously made her feel so free, if she's going back to
• 24:06
  her home and saying, you know what, I'm going to make sure
• 24:08
  that my home reflects my personal style.
• 24:11
  Cause a lot of times people look through a catalog and they're
• 24:14
  like, I want my house to look like this.
• 24:17
  But reality, you know, their house may not look like that.
• 24:21
  To get back to the point of copy and paste.
• 24:24
  Tell me about that, like with style.
• 24:26
  And then you know how people will copy and paste like they do
• 24:31
  in their home. They may see a style that they
• 24:34
  like or that everybody else is doing, and they try to
• 24:37
  incorporate it into their own home.
• 24:39
  And then they live in it a while and they're like, I don't know
• 24:42
  if I really like. That.
• 24:44
  So does that happen in fashion a lot with your client?
• 24:48
  Every time, all the time. I call it copy and paste style
• 24:51
  syndrome. Where you find?
• 24:53
  What happens in home furnishings too?
• 24:55
  In homes. Yeah, And they try to copy the
• 24:59
  outfits that they see on Pinterest or TikTok, instant,
• 25:01
  whatever, and they try to replicate it on to themselves.
• 25:05
  And you could buy the exact copy of an outfit, but you cannot buy
• 25:12
  the aura that you see that is actually attracting to that
• 25:15
  outfit, right? And so that's why, especially
• 25:19
  with trends, for example, I feel like people just go to the
• 25:23
  copying or the trends because it's easy.
• 25:28
  It's less brain power. It's someone telling you what to
• 25:30
  do because your brain is, we have 62,000 thoughts a day and
• 25:33
  we just don't want to make a decision.
• 25:36
  But then there's funds to that right where you end up buying so
• 25:41
  much more that actually doesn't. Have these trendy pieces.
• 25:46
  That Poppy. And exactly.
• 25:48
  And then you that's how you end up with a closet full of things
• 25:51
  and nothing to wear because you have so much of tiny like, I
• 25:58
  forget the exact the term, but you see it and you just want it.
• 26:03
  And really what's satisfying is that dopamine rush of just
• 26:05
  buying the item and then you get it and then you're like, doesn't
• 26:09
  feel the same. Or when you copy and paste it
• 26:12
  off of somebody that you saw and you looked so good on her,
• 26:14
  right. And you're like, I just want
• 26:16
  that outfit. Yeah, I want to look like her.
• 26:19
  I want to feel exactly what my perception is of what I think
• 26:23
  she feels like. So you buy that outfit, you put
• 26:25
  it on and you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like,
• 26:27
  this looks nothing like what it did on.
• 26:29
  Her and then maybe be disappointed and be so.
• 26:32
  Disappointed and then you go into this negative hamster wheel
• 26:35
  of not even blaming the clothes, but then you start blaming
• 26:37
  yourself. You start blaming your body
• 26:39
  shape. You start blaming the way that
• 26:41
  you look. Nothing ever looks good on me.
• 26:43
  This is why I just go back to the same 35 outfits because it's
• 26:46
  just, it's just frustrating. It's making me feel like crap,
• 26:49
  right? And so This is why you go back
• 26:51
  into that foundation, the intentionality, understanding
• 26:55
  your actual style, aligning it with versus appreciation.
• 27:00
  Aligning with a style is when it feels like you, it actually
• 27:03
  represents you. It helps you express how you
• 27:05
  want to express yourself into the world.
• 27:07
  It's part of your story of stepping into the room.
• 27:10
  It's a story that is told when you step into the room without
• 27:14
  having to tell it. Right?
• 27:16
  Versus alignment is when you're like, OK, this is really cute,
• 27:20
  but I just no longer align with it.
• 27:21
  For example, my identity with my style.
• 27:25
  Before I used to dress very boho, very, very boho.
• 27:29
  And if you know me now. And that is not style, no.
• 27:34
  Did you like the boho style for you at that time?
• 27:37
  I thought I did. OK, so maybe this is a different
• 27:41
  transition of. You that inside, though, when I
• 27:45
  think about it, I just really aligned with that style.
• 27:48
  I just wanted to fit in. I just wanted to become one of
• 27:50
  the girls. What were around me?
• 27:53
  It wasn't actually me. And that happens a lot with
• 27:56
  style where you just pick things that other people have or you
• 28:00
  just want to fit in, right. So that's part of our need for
• 28:03
  belonging and it's very important for our hierarchical
• 28:06
  needs. But then at the end of the day,
• 28:09
  when you're looking at your closet, you're like, I just
• 28:11
  don't, I don't like anything. I don't like that anymore.
• 28:14
  And because it was never the intention was never about you
• 28:17
  and feeling or aligning, aligning with you.
• 28:20
  It was just for the sake of impressing other people or to
• 28:23
  fit in with other people. And I think that happens with
• 28:25
  the homes as well. You see a home or a display,
• 28:30
  whatever it is in a showroom and you're like, oh, I love this.
• 28:34
  I want, I want it and then you paste it into your home.
• 28:38
  And it may not. Fit.
• 28:39
  It may not fit. Yeah, it may not actually align
• 28:41
  with you. You're gonna look at that piece
• 28:44
  in the stair and you're like, why?
• 28:46
  Why do I have you? But you already spent money on
• 28:48
  it. You spent time on it, so you
• 28:50
  just settle with it and you just get into this hamster wheel of
• 28:53
  wasting more time, money, and energy.
• 28:56
  And that's how it relates to the closet as well.
• 28:58
  You just have pieces in your closet that are just collecting
• 29:00
  dust. Your money is hanging in your
• 29:01
  closet just like a bookshelf. A bookshelf that you thought was
• 29:05
  really cute on a display and you wanted to copy it and then you
• 29:08
  ended up hating. I love this book.
• 29:11
  I love this book. But I think this is in your
• 29:14
  home. No particular.
• 29:16
  Piece or one like it? Yeah, it's very similar.
• 29:19
  Yeah, very similar, but. Do you see what I'm saying?
• 29:21
  I'm just the similarities. Yeah.
• 29:22
  I mean, the two. It's fascinating.
• 29:24
  It is. Really fascinating.
• 29:26
  And you know, the last thing we want is for people to get things
• 29:29
  in their home and just be like, I wish I wouldn't, you know,
• 29:31
  wouldn't have put this in my home.
• 29:34
  And it's, you know, if if we had stylist everywhere, how great
• 29:38
  would never make a new mistake. I think your outfits are very
• 29:43
  well done. And I think that when you're
• 29:46
  selling your clients, you know, they're very happy that you were
• 29:50
  able to bring out their own personal who they are.
• 29:53
  And it'd be interesting to see Jamie.
• 29:56
  It would be fun to see what her house looks like.
• 29:59
  I'd just imagine it's probably like color.
• 30:03
  Wonderful art. I bet she is an artist inside.
• 30:06
  I bet she actually has. Very creative, but which is so
• 30:11
  funny of her job. It's so analytical.
• 30:14
  Structure. Yeah.
• 30:15
  Yeah, well, she has a creative outlet if she's in HR every day,
• 30:19
  right? Totally.
• 30:20
  So yeah, I would just love to see it.
• 30:23
  I bet she is. It's very fun and colorful.
• 30:27
  Have you ever seen your clients homes?
• 30:29
  Not all of them know unfortunately.
• 30:31
  I see their inside of their closets but not really their
• 30:35
  home homes, but I think with their closets and then or with
• 30:42
  their style and how it relates to their homes.
• 30:44
  I'm sure it's the same thing, but they just don't even realize
• 30:47
  that with the process of it. So whether it's designing the
• 30:53
  room with the art or the like, I could see her with start truths
• 30:58
  pillows or knees and absolutely really cool bad ass like art.
• 31:05
  What is she doing that I don't know.
• 31:07
  I should we should ask her. Jamie, Jamie, if you're watching
• 31:10
  those pictures of your health. So let me ask you this on to
• 31:16
  another subject about life transitions.
• 31:19
  And you were saying you went through a whole boho style for a
• 31:24
  while. And was that right before you
• 31:26
  became a mother? Yes, OK.
• 31:28
  And before you moved. Yeah, it was before I became a
• 31:31
  mother. It was tied to my work.
• 31:33
  My work was very boho ish. I was like the brand Boho
• 31:39
  Western. OK, not me, not you.
• 31:43
  Not me at all, but as you evolve, your style evolves too.
• 31:48
  And so I think that's where a lot of people get hung up as
• 31:51
  well when it comes to their personal style 'cause they think
• 31:53
  they're married into a specific style, but you're exactly, you
• 31:57
  can change it that evolve. I always say as you evolve, your
• 32:01
  style evolves too. When you're going through
• 32:06
  transitions, whether it's adding a baby to the family or moving
• 32:10
  or a job, career change, it's going to shift.
• 32:13
  And that's where I think people need to take their time with
• 32:18
  really understanding that transition that they're going
• 32:21
  through. So that way, when they are
• 32:23
  rebuilding their wardrobe to match that of who they are and
• 32:27
  who they're becoming, it's intentional and it feels in
• 32:30
  total enlightenment, right? And you're, you don't have to be
• 32:34
  married to the end result of what you think you're going to
• 32:38
  because it's going to change. And I think that's where people
• 32:40
  get so hung up on when it comes to their personal styles.
• 32:44
  They want this specific image. And so they want to buy all the
• 32:48
  clothes all at the same time and in the most convenient place
• 32:51
  where everything's all in one spot.
• 32:53
  But I always say don't buy everything at the same store.
• 32:56
  It's the same thing with the home I feel, where you don't
• 33:01
  have to be married to the specific piece if it's going to
• 33:04
  transition out into something else.
• 33:07
  Right? Like the bookcase could end up
• 33:09
  being a mini. Closet for your baby?
• 33:11
  Oh, absolutely. Or your own closet.
• 33:14
  You could put shoes and sweaters on it.
• 33:16
  It doesn't always just have to have books.
• 33:18
  Yeah. And tchotchkes, we learned were
• 33:20
  yesterday. Tchotchkes.
• 33:24
  But like in your own home, are you are you going through a
• 33:28
  transition through your the entire home?
• 33:30
  Or was it just that one room you're looking at a?
• 33:33
  Little home. OK, My whole home was based out
• 33:35
  of convenience. OK, I like I said earlier, it
• 33:39
  was never designed intentionally.
• 33:41
  It was literally just based out of function.
• 33:43
  I need a crib, I need a dresser. I need this.
• 33:47
  I never took the time to paint the walls, add wallpaper and
• 33:51
  then paint the faucets and stuff.
• 33:53
  One finances it's I in my mind, I was like, I need to do it all
• 33:57
  at once, all at the same time, which we don't need with your
• 34:02
  call that you don't need to buy the.
• 34:03
  Whole. Wardrobe at the same time.
• 34:06
  But now that I've had the sense of who I am, how I'm
• 34:10
  transitioning, my kids are a little bit older now, 1216, I
• 34:15
  can add a rug into my living room.
• 34:17
  I didn't have a rug before I did, but I took it out because
• 34:20
  everyone just was spilling everything on there and it just
• 34:25
  wasn't working out lifestyle wise.
• 34:26
  But now I'm in this transition where OK, I can shift things to
• 34:31
  make it feel more homey, like my husband and I really actually
• 34:34
  want a new home. Like a new house.
• 34:36
  You're ready to move again. I'm ready to move again, but the
• 34:40
  market is sounding no thank you. You can wait.
• 34:42
  And because again, I want to. When we bought our first house,
• 34:47
  we bought it out of convenience, intentionality.
• 34:49
  We just wanted to get out of the space that we were at before.
• 34:53
  But now I don't want to waste money, time, energy on another
• 34:58
  house. We're just going to settle for.
• 34:59
  I want to wait for the one that I really, really love.
• 35:01
  Yeah, because you're going to have to really dig in and say,
• 35:04
  you know, this is my style and I, you know, just definitely go
• 35:10
  for exactly what you want because then you'll be able to
• 35:12
  go in and decorate it exactly how you want as well.
• 35:16
  Your backdrop up, you know we'll be able to reflect your style
• 35:21
  when you do find another home. Exactly, and that's why with our
• 35:25
  home currently and like instead of me just sitting there and
• 35:27
  just being sad that my house doesn't look like the way it is.
• 35:31
  I am taking the initiative to finally make it more of a home
• 35:36
  with what we have currently. Whether it's redesigning how
• 35:40
  things are placed or adding pieces that I actually do love
• 35:44
  making it feel more of like a home for the time being.
• 35:47
  Maybe we won't change every hardware that I want to do in
• 35:52
  our whole home, but there's little things that we could do
• 35:54
  to fix it up to add. I always say just be 1% better
• 35:57
  than you were yesterday. That's good.
• 36:00
  And the baby steps equal the big result.
• 36:02
  And I think that happens with the home as well.
• 36:05
  I was just talking about the home.
• 36:06
  It's. It was both style and.
• 36:08
  Home, but you don't have to do it all at one time, right?
• 36:11
  Like good style, I tell my clients, just add earrings.
• 36:14
  If you don't wear earrings every single day, you don't have to do
• 36:17
  the full 180. Just add, do something different
• 36:21
  and baby step it that way. So that way the end result,
• 36:24
  it'll be the sum of the end result.
• 36:25
  Yeah, kind of like working out. You can't just do 10 squats and
• 36:28
  then your butt is the best shape.
• 36:31
  Ever. I think you have to have
• 36:32
  consistency. Exactly, exactly.
• 36:34
  And so I think that relates to the home as well, just adding
• 36:38
  bit by bit, personality wise, whatever works for your style,
• 36:42
  functionality, finances. And then eventually it'll become
• 36:47
  that way, and it's smarter because it's probably going to
• 36:49
  change. Maybe later on.
• 36:51
  Yeah, you know what, maybe I don't like this style as much as
• 36:56
  I thought I did anymore, but cuz at the time being or at at the
• 37:00
  current time, I'm just evolving into something else.
• 37:02
  And that's good. I think we always have to
• 37:04
  evolve. You did bring up a point that
• 37:08
  when you were saying that you want to move into your into it
• 37:12
  in another home, I think a lot of people are in that same
• 37:16
  situation. They can't really move right now
• 37:19
  or, or they're just like, that doesn't work right now for us to
• 37:21
  move. So they're not in what they
• 37:23
  would consider their forever home or their next transition
• 37:28
  home. So it's OK.
• 37:30
  So how can I take the home that I live in now and really elevate
• 37:35
  it and have my style and my personality really shine
• 37:40
  through? And there are things that you
• 37:42
  can do just like you, you changed that before you had a
• 37:46
  sectional, but, and it sounds like that's something or it
• 37:49
  looks like something that works very well for you.
• 37:52
  So you were able to bring in another sectional.
• 37:54
  You put artwork up the rug, the coffee table, which we didn't
• 37:58
  talk about, which we should because that was really cool.
• 38:02
  That's a neat function that can move around.
• 38:05
  And, you know, that can be a, a play table for your children
• 38:09
  because the one is small. Yeah.
• 38:11
  So, you know, there are things we can do in our own homes so
• 38:15
  that we're satisfied with it for now and it does reflect our own
• 38:21
  personal style and personality and.
• 38:23
  I think just pushing boundaries of how you usually see things
• 38:26
  normally, right? You see it as one function and
• 38:30
  we don't zoom out and see other ways that we could use it as
• 38:33
  like as you describe the coffee table, it's a coffee table, but
• 38:36
  can it also be used as a little play area for the children,
• 38:41
  right? Or even they can eat their
• 38:42
  snacks there. I mean, it really was a perfect
• 38:45
  height for for them. Yeah, exactly.
• 38:46
  And I think that's, and that's a big thing in fashion right now,
• 38:48
  just going pushing the boundaries, being extra like
• 38:51
  maximalist, creative and just thinking of different ways.
• 38:54
  That's how I style too. Like sometimes I'll take a
• 38:57
  necklace and make it into a belt.
• 38:59
  Maybe I'll change a dirt and make it into like a skirt, like
• 39:04
  really reimagining things and making it as a different, making
• 39:08
  it used as a different function than what it's originally.
• 39:11
  So. That's happening in fashion,
• 39:12
  too. Oh, that's like, yeah, oh, all
• 39:15
  the things Paris Fashion Week is happening and just the
• 39:19
  creativity. It's just so awesome to just see
• 39:23
  pushing the boundaries and just reworking things and just seeing
• 39:26
  things differently styled. And I think that's like with the
• 39:30
  home as well. Then people need to feel more
• 39:33
  open to Yeah, you're not. I think they are open to it.
• 39:36
  I think they're. Just they just don't.
• 39:38
  They may not know like we're talking about this bookshelf or
• 39:40
  even oh wow, oh wow. It doesn't have to just go in
• 39:43
  your bedroom. A dresser could be an entrance
• 39:45
  piece for your hallway, or it could go in a living room with a
• 39:49
  piece of art over it or your TV over it.
• 39:51
  And I think that's just what is missing in the world is just a
• 39:54
  lack of knowledge because people know how to replicate.
• 39:57
  Because you're taught how to replicate.
• 39:58
  You're taught how to copy and paste.
• 40:00
  We're just looking at the picture that everybody else is.
• 40:03
  But no one's teaching you how to do the the things that XYZ, how
• 40:09
  to transition it because they just don't know.
• 40:11
  But thankfully, people like us are educating people to learn
• 40:17
  more about that and be more creative with what they have,
• 40:20
  maximizing what they have, changing it in different ways
• 40:23
  with for both style, for your personal style and your style at
• 40:28
  home. Yeah.
• 40:29
  Absolutely, yeah. I would say rearrange, take
• 40:32
  pieces from 1:00 room, use it in a different room.
• 40:35
  I did that my house with a sofa table.
• 40:37
  I had it in my entrance area and there's art above it.
• 40:41
  It moved from there to my family room.
• 40:44
  Now it's in my dining room and I just love the piece.
• 40:48
  Like I'm never going to get rid of this.
• 40:49
  Never say never, but probably not.
• 40:52
  And now it it acts as a sideboard in my dining room.
• 40:56
  So I think, you know, we just got to empower, empower people
• 41:00
  to just look at things differently.
• 41:03
  And if you love the piece, figure out another function for
• 41:06
  it instead of necessarily getting rid of it unless it's
• 41:10
  just doesn't work for you or service you anymore.
• 41:12
  Yeah. And yeah, I think.
• 41:13
  What, to your point, is giving yourself the permission slip to
• 41:17
  just say yes? Don't be scared, just try it.
• 41:20
  Just try. You cannot knock it.
• 41:22
  That was a double negative. You can't knock it unless you
• 41:25
  try it right. And if it's a bad outfit, that's
• 41:28
  a good thing because now you have feedback of what worked and
• 41:31
  what did it. Failure is not the end of the
• 41:36
  world. It's actually feedback is what
• 41:37
  I've learned over the years. Exactly.
• 41:40
  So it's something that didn't work great.
• 41:42
  I'm never doing that again. But now I know how to do it for
• 41:45
  a nice time, whether it's for your clothing or for the home.
• 41:48
  I agree that's that is good, good advice.
• 41:53
  Do we want to talk about designing the next version of
• 41:59
  yourself? We can do.
• 42:02
  Barb, I know. Well, now I'm the psych.
• 42:04
  No, I'm not the psychologist. But yeah, just tell us about if,
• 42:10
  if you were, you know, where would someone start?
• 42:13
  If they're just like, OK, I was in the same boho area, you know,
• 42:18
  I it's not me. I I'm going into this different
• 42:21
  walk of life. Like where do I start?
• 42:24
  Don't start by shopping, OK? Start with asking what is your
• 42:28
  story and then ask yourself what do you want your story to be?
• 42:35
  Do those align? If not, where are the gaps?
• 42:38
  And then reverse engineer that and fill those gaps with the
• 42:41
  action steps that you need to take.
• 42:43
  So what personal style does your style tell that story that you
• 42:48
  want? And if not, where are those
• 42:51
  gaps? Is it the accessories that are
• 42:53
  missing? Is it the aura or the feeling
• 42:55
  that you get from the clothing that's expressing them?
• 42:57
  Is it you need to get rid of and simplify, right?
• 43:01
  There's so many different directions with it.
• 43:04
  And then once you get into the intentionality of the
• 43:06
  foundations, once that is done, then you can take the action
• 43:09
  steps of shopping and finding those pieces because now you
• 43:13
  have a personal filter. You have your blinders thought
• 43:16
  of what actually works and what's not going to work for you
• 43:19
  and I and the closet. Please get rid of the things
• 43:23
  that do not serve you, that do not fit, that do not align.
• 43:27
  Especially now. I mean, spring is on its way.
• 43:30
  Isn't a good spring closet cleaning a good thing?
• 43:33
  So good, so good. But see, it's a double edged
• 43:36
  story because get rid of the things, but then if you will
• 43:39
  love a piece and just because it's like 10 years old doesn't
• 43:42
  mean you have to get rid of it. You just have to reimagine it
• 43:45
  and restyle it in a different way too.
• 43:46
  I've done that so many times with clients and they're like,
• 43:48
  I've never would have put this together with this piece.
• 43:51
  I just got to throw it out. Like, good thing you didn't
• 43:53
  because you just needed to restyle it for it to work with
• 43:57
  this new version of you, right? So yeah.
• 44:00
  So you could take things that you've had before and repurpose
• 44:04
  and reuse. I just.
• 44:06
  Heard from 10 years ago. Yeah, she has polka dots and I
• 44:09
  still love her and wear her. Well, it sounds like a classic,
• 44:13
  but it's it's one of those things that will always be in
• 44:16
  style or work for you to. You right like neutrals where
• 44:21
  you can talk about neutrals of black creams, but that might not
• 44:25
  be the next person's neutral. Their neutrals might be zebras
• 44:28
  and zebra print or leopard print for truths like those could be
• 44:33
  their neutrals. That's true.
• 44:34
  So different for each person. And This is why I always say get
• 44:37
  really intentional with what actually own lines with you
• 44:40
  rather than just copying the trends.
• 44:42
  Because. Friends, you can take what you
• 44:46
  want from them and what aligns with you, but if you just go
• 44:48
  through, they just take all of them on.
• 44:51
  You lose yourself. That's where you lose your
• 44:53
  identity because you're no longer dressing for the version
• 44:56
  of you that you want to become. You're dressing for the version
• 44:58
  of the person you've. To Harper, you're supposed to
• 45:00
  become oh, that is deep. That's good.
• 45:03
  That is my. World so it's kind of and you
• 45:08
  know we we talk a a lot about millennial Gray on this show and
• 45:13
  and I love Gray. I think Gray is a good classic
• 45:16
  color. It's just when you know,
• 45:19
  everything's Gray or a Gray tone, Gray walls, Gray
• 45:23
  furniture, Gray toned floors, and then it just becomes that
• 45:30
  cut and paste again. So it's not like, you know, you
• 45:35
  don't have to throw out all of the things in your home that are
• 45:38
  Gray. Just add to it or add it easily.
• 45:42
  Edit out some things. Add the zebra pillow that you
• 45:46
  talked about to the Gray sofa. I had so much resistance at
• 45:50
  that. I love the couch, but the color
• 45:52
  was like the biggest resistance for me.
• 45:55
  I'm Gray. I want cream.
• 45:57
  I really want cream, but it was there was it's not available on
• 45:59
  cream. It's available on brown but my
• 46:01
  dog has cream hair and it would just be everywhere.
• 46:05
  That's right. There's a lot of dog looked
• 46:08
  great on it. It looked like your dog matched
• 46:10
  the soap. He blended around.
• 46:12
  He literally made it his home already.
• 46:13
  And I, I just, there was a lot of resistance with the couch at
• 46:18
  1st and I was keep going back and forth, but then I was like,
• 46:21
  OK, I need to zoom out and add to it like the rug.
• 46:28
  What can we pull out the art that actually had the warm tones
• 46:31
  in it? Because I'm really attracted to
• 46:32
  warm tones. And so adding more personality,
• 46:36
  adding a, another color palette. So it's essentially creating an
• 46:39
  outfit, right? The couch was my T-shirt and
• 46:42
  jeans and I was like, OK, I don't.
• 46:44
  That's the main piece. That was the main piece.
• 46:46
  So it's like working off of that.
• 46:48
  Yeah. And so then adding the rug
• 46:50
  actually pulled the colors from the artwork.
• 46:54
  And because the artwork also had blue in it, and I was like, do I
• 46:56
  want the blue? I don't know if I want the blue.
• 46:58
  I'm more of a pink girl. But then adding the zebra print
• 47:03
  pillow, the brown accent chair, adding those were like the
• 47:08
  accessories, the shoes, the belt, the brute, the brooch,
• 47:12
  like, that really made it feel complete.
• 47:15
  Yeah. And that's just like with an
• 47:17
  outfit. You can't just have AT shirt and
• 47:19
  jeans and then feel extra stylish.
• 47:21
  I mean, you can, some people can definitely do that.
• 47:24
  But to feel put together, which most clients request, you need
• 47:27
  those little connector pieces is what I call them.
• 47:30
  But the earrings, the shoes, how you style it, the belts, like
• 47:35
  how you're like styling them together.
• 47:37
  And that really what makes a complete put together outfit.
• 47:42
  Put together room too. I feel like with your calling of
• 47:45
  styling, these ladies feel like you need to add on design you.
• 47:52
  Think so I do, I think. You should ask them, hey, take
• 47:56
  me on a tour of your home and just see, you know, because in
• 48:00
  some cases maybe they aren't in alignment there too and you
• 48:04
  could help them with their home. As well.
• 48:08
  Are we sure we have time? If I add extra hours to my day,
• 48:13
  maybe, but that's definitely something.
• 48:15
  Oh, do I want to do that? I don't know.
• 48:17
  That's something. Literally, if you asked me that
• 48:19
  a month ago, two months ago, I would have been, no, I don't
• 48:22
  know what I'm doing and no idea. Now I have the education.
• 48:26
  I understand the process now from my personal style process
• 48:29
  and relating it to that. That definitely made me feel
• 48:31
  more confident in the choices. But I want to do that, that part
• 48:36
  of my career. Maybe it'll be a side thing.
• 48:37
  We'll see. Yeah, we'll see.
• 48:38
  What that happens, I I see it in your future, I think it's just
• 48:41
  going to be an add on to what you do now.
• 48:47
  And a complete outfit. It might be the Libra moon in me
• 48:50
  though. Yeah, maybe so.
• 48:53
  Little astrology along with the psychology, yeah.
• 48:57
  Do you love me some astrology and woo woo?
• 48:59
  Yeah, I know we we've bounced around a bit, but we wanted to
• 49:03
  touch on on this particular styling session that you did.
• 49:08
  Can you tell tell us about? Yeah, this client wasn't an
• 49:11
  executive or in charge of leading teams at all, but she
• 49:17
  just had a baby and she just didn't feel like herself in her
• 49:23
  clothing. She was just, again, dressing
• 49:26
  based out of convenience and has been to elevate that.
• 49:29
  A lot of my clients survive. Yeah, exactly.
• 49:32
  Exactly. We kind of feel like that from
• 49:34
  time to time. Survive, right?
• 49:37
  Literally every day. But I feel like my clients all
• 49:43
  together, demographics may not be the same.
• 49:45
  Psychographics are the same. They're women who work really
• 49:49
  hard and the work ethic is so high and they do everything for
• 49:55
  the sake of their family, for others around them, put
• 49:57
  themselves last. And when a lot of my clients
• 50:00
  come to me like this particular client, they're finally seeing
• 50:03
  that it's OK to say yes to put yourself 1st.
• 50:07
  And for her, at this time when she was working with me, it was
• 50:10
  with her style because getting dressed, the stress of looking
• 50:14
  in your closet when you have an event or you just need to get
• 50:16
  dressed for the day was just no. Who needs a added stress into
• 50:22
  it, right? Right.
• 50:23
  It's one of the first decisions you make of the day.
• 50:25
  What? My wife is going to wear today.
• 50:27
  Right, especially if you have an event, it's it's overwhelming.
• 50:31
  It can be absolutely and then you exactly, and then you feel
• 50:34
  like you need to buy a new outfit right off the bat just to
• 50:38
  feel like you are new, which you're actually facing dopamine
• 50:43
  is what you're trying to get. And so this time it came to me
• 50:46
  wanting to change that and we didn't next the entire wardrobe,
• 50:51
  but we did get rid of a lot and I actually didn't shop a ton for
• 50:58
  this client. Actually, I don't think I
• 50:59
  shopped at all for her at all. I think I also gave her the
• 51:02
  plan, the style makeover and what she needed to do, what to
• 51:05
  look for and styling the pieces. So this she actually styled her.
• 51:09
  Did I style her? Did she sell herself?
• 51:13
  I teach clients how to style themselves.
• 51:16
  You're educating them, they have the confidence to do it
• 51:18
  themselves. Exactly.
• 51:19
  I mean, so overall for this client, it was more so about
• 51:24
  just feeling good when she looks in the mirror and feeling at
• 51:28
  ease, getting dressed for herself, putting herself first,
• 51:32
  especially after motherhood, you know, you're just, it's just
• 51:35
  about the baby. Yeah, about the baby surviving,
• 51:38
  put on whatever is convenient. Whatever.
• 51:40
  Fits. Whatever fits.
• 51:42
  Yeah, we've all gone through usually.
• 51:43
  Leggings and a big old T-shirt or your pajama moo moo, whatever
• 51:47
  it is. And it gets to a point where is
• 51:52
  this is not like I'm so much more than just a mom and I'm
• 51:56
  not. I'm a mom myself.
• 51:58
  Moms are the greatest humans ever.
• 52:01
  But there are so much more to you than just the title mom.
• 52:05
  And being able to express that and feel that through your
• 52:07
  style, it just makes you feel the permission slip to say, OK,
• 52:12
  I can do this. This is also for me and also
• 52:14
  sets the tone too for your children of how you want them to
• 52:18
  show up in their life. And I feel like I, I hear that a
• 52:21
  lot with my clients is that they don't want to.
• 52:25
  They don't want how they grew up with style to be passed down to
• 52:29
  their children of whether it's body image, how they show up.
• 52:33
  They want to build their confidence, but how can you
• 52:37
  teach that to your children if you don't know it yourself?
• 52:39
  And so she went through this process to teach herself that,
• 52:43
  and now she feels more confident to teach that to her daughter.
• 52:45
  Oh, that's so good, so good. And I love that that you did
• 52:52
  educate her and that she does have that confidence to get
• 52:56
  dressed every day and feel good about what she has on.
• 53:00
  And she looks fantastic. Thank you and very comfortable.
• 53:04
  To you, yes, that was a big thing.
• 53:06
  I mean, you kind of comfort and style can coexist.
• 53:09
  They absolutely can materials how you struggle together.
• 53:13
  But this was actually from a few years ago, but she messaged me
• 53:16
  actually a few months ago saying she still practices what I've
• 53:20
  taught her feels really good in her clothing.
• 53:24
  And so that's always, it's nice to hear because it's not, you
• 53:27
  can have a stylist and then have them dress you and then that's
• 53:31
  it. But then it's another thing to
• 53:33
  have a stylist to teach you. So that way you become your own
• 53:36
  personal stylist at the end of the day and you know what to do
• 53:39
  going forward and, and not having to rely on somebody else.
• 53:44
  Yeah. No, I you're absolutely right.
• 53:47
  And it's kind of like that, like with your own home, you were
• 53:50
  saying that, you know, she became a mother and she didn't
• 53:56
  have time and she didn't feel like she had time to dress like
• 53:59
  the actor or she, you know, was putting T-shirts and leggings
• 54:03
  because it's easy and convenient.
• 54:06
  And it's same thing in our home. Sometimes I feel like we get so
• 54:11
  busy trying to survive that in our own homes.
• 54:15
  We're just like, you know, I can't have that because I have
• 54:18
  small children or I can't have that because I have pets or, you
• 54:21
  know, I can't have, I can't live in my home how I want it to be.
• 54:28
  I'll wait until my children are grown or I'll wait till my
• 54:33
  beloved hat of 16 years is no longer here.
• 54:36
  But but I say, do those things now.
• 54:40
  Don't have excuses. Just find better alternatives.
• 54:44
  So, for example, you were talking about you didn't have a
• 54:47
  rug before because the children were spilling on it.
• 54:50
  Well, now, you know, we have washable rugs that you can
• 54:53
  easily wash in your own home, or you can put it in your washing
• 54:57
  machine if it's big enough. Or you can put it out on your
• 54:59
  driveway and, you know, hose it down so there's no more excuses
• 55:03
  about not having a rug. And and so I think, you know, I
• 55:07
  would just want to encourage people to put the excuses aside.
• 55:14
  Whatever fear that's in them that's driving those decisions
• 55:18
  to not live the way they want to live in their home or, or not
• 55:23
  really have their personality shine in their own home.
• 55:26
  Just put away those, you know, put away those fears and just go
• 55:32
  for it and really live in your home.
• 55:34
  How do you want it to feel? And an expression of your own
• 55:38
  personality. And I'm going to take my own
• 55:41
  advice 'cause, you know, there's some, some areas in my home that
• 55:45
  I'm making excuses for. No more excuses.
• 55:48
  I'm telling you the year 2026 is no excuses.
• 55:52
  And it's, it's about living exactly how you want to live in
• 55:56
  your home 100% 'cause that's, that's your, that's your refuge.
• 55:59
  You know that's where you should be most comfortable.
• 56:02
  Totally. But you know, the excuses are
• 56:05
  putting away the excuses is easier said than done.
• 56:07
  It absolutely. Yeah.
• 56:10
  And I think it's more so thinking about it as a reframe
• 56:13
  of either asking yourself like, well, why not?
• 56:16
  Why can't I do this? Because it's so easy to say,
• 56:19
  well, we can't do this XYZ. You can't have that couch
• 56:23
  because my children, they're going to like destroy it.
• 56:27
  Yeah. Versus.
• 56:27
  Well, why can't I have this couch and make it work?
• 56:32
  I just have to tweak a few things for a shirt.
• 56:34
  I can't wear this the shirt because it doesn't fit my shape.
• 56:41
  That's the excuse that comes up, right.
• 56:43
  Well, why can't you? And what's the solution for us
• 56:46
  to make it work for you, Whether it's changing the neckline or
• 56:49
  it's changing the print that complements you better in the
• 56:51
  way that you want, Right. So it's just a little little
• 56:53
  reframes that we do that we need to start doing.
• 56:56
  We're actually making it work into our lifestyle.
• 57:00
  So instead of just coming up with the problems and going on
• 57:02
  to this crane of thinking of the excuses, it's a reframe of
• 57:08
  solutions that can make it work. Reframe of solutions.
• 57:11
  I love that. I love that.
• 57:14
  So no more can't. It's reframe of solutions words.
• 57:18
  Matter. I literally did this words
• 57:20
  matter. When I was studying for my psych
• 57:22
  degree. I had my research studies was
• 57:24
  about words and how it affects you.
• 57:26
  Yeah. And the littlest words actually
• 57:29
  has an effect. And that's why when I'm teaching
• 57:31
  my clients about what works for their shape or not, a lot of
• 57:35
  clients say, I want to hide this, I want to hide that.
• 57:37
  OK, let's reframe. Let's say let's consciously
• 57:39
  camouflage that for now. Because then it's just the words
• 57:43
  effects you way bigger than you think.
• 57:46
  And it just changes your mindset of how you view things as well.
• 57:49
  Yeah, and you replay those words in your mind and it's like, But
• 57:55
  yeah, for sure. I think that's why, you know, in
• 57:58
  our own homes, we don't move forward with things that we want
• 58:03
  to do and and we just keep playing.
• 58:05
  I'll do it later. I'll do it later.
• 58:08
  In the game. Yeah.
• 58:09
  But I, so I always say this, the amount of time it takes on to
• 58:15
  put on a bad outfit is literally the same exact time to put on a
• 58:19
  good outfit. There's so much more benefits to
• 58:21
  the good outfit. So you might as well just do
• 58:23
  that for the long run. Like, and that's why I say it
• 58:25
  like investing in pieces, investing in pieces that you
• 58:28
  actually love, that feel like you, that fit, that will last
• 58:32
  you for a very, very long time with quality that is so much
• 58:36
  more worth the investment versus buying the cheap thing that's
• 58:38
  more convenient right now, the late gratification, which I feel
• 58:41
  like we all need to work on. For sure.
• 58:45
  So let me ask you this, since you just redid this room in your
• 58:49
  home and it's beautiful, if there's somebody watching today
• 58:54
  and they're just like, OK, I'm going to change it.
• 58:57
  I'm going to change. No excuses.
• 58:59
  It doesn't matter if I have, you know, cats and dogs and children
• 59:03
  and all these reasons why I'm not changing something in this
• 59:06
  room. What bit of advice?
• 59:09
  Because I feel like you're really good at, you know, that
• 59:12
  psychology of, of encouraging people to make changes.
• 59:15
  But where would you tell them to start?
• 59:18
  Like, what's your opinion? Since you just did this?
• 59:21
  Where would you tell somebody you know?
• 59:23
  Here's an idea of starting in this room.
• 59:27
  Physicality wise or psychologically wise?
• 59:29
  How about those psychologically wise?
• 59:33
  I would really get clear on the story you want to tell in your
• 59:38
  home and does that reflect you? Like when OK, when you.
• 59:43
  And for me, when I was entering the living room, like what is
• 59:46
  the feeling that I want to feel? I wanted to feel fake, but
• 59:51
  playful and approachable because we host a lot in our as well.
• 59:55
  And then we have children. And that was like the main
• 59:58
  feeling that I wanted to feel little pockets of all of that.
• 1:00:01
  And then I got clear on what that actually meant to me.
• 1:00:04
  And so then the physicality wise, I needed to get rid of the
• 1:00:07
  things that did not serve me. That couch, that ratty couch
• 1:00:10
  with a broken arm, he needed to go, even though there was
• 1:00:13
  memories attached to that couch. Yeah, I was like, couch I
• 1:00:16
  breastfed and took naps on when I was exhausted from the
• 1:00:20
  children, late nights when I didn't have an office just yet.
• 1:00:22
  That was literally where I was working was on that couch.
• 1:00:25
  But letting her go was the permission slip to say, OK, it's
• 1:00:28
  time to evolve. And so getting rid of that was
• 1:00:32
  that couch was able to clear that space psychologically and
• 1:00:36
  physically and enter in a new one that's going to serve me
• 1:00:39
  better. There's a book that I love 10X
• 1:00:42
  is greater than 2X and that it's about making the big moves 10
• 1:00:47
  times more than the the 2X ones. So the little moves and that is
• 1:00:52
  just what propels I love. That.
• 1:00:54
  I love that book. We should put that up in our
• 1:00:57
  notes. That's a good.
• 1:00:58
  I I want to read this book great.
• 1:01:00
  I I need to reread it cuz it's a good motivation of stop playing
• 1:01:04
  it safe and just take the risk and go go.
• 1:01:07
  For it. Throttle.
• 1:01:09
  Yeah. Cuz you could.
• 1:01:10
  You could just sit there for the next few years in the same
• 1:01:14
  place, or you can go and try it and say that you actually tried
• 1:01:19
  and you never know what the result's going.
• 1:01:20
  To be I love that. Oh goodness.
• 1:01:23
  So we should just, you know, I would just challenge myself.
• 1:01:28
  I'd challenge everyone out there to just really reflect and and
• 1:01:32
  think deep on how you're living in your home and, you know, make
• 1:01:37
  those changes now. Yeah, make them now.
• 1:01:41
  It doesn't. Have to be like you have to
• 1:01:42
  block off an hour in your day. No, like that's that's the
• 1:01:46
  biggest time or the biggest block.
• 1:01:49
  I feel for people is time. When am I gonna find the time to
• 1:01:51
  do that? I'm not if I'm gonna find.
• 1:01:53
  The we all have 24 hours. What are the 24 hours are not
• 1:01:55
  exactly the same for each person that's.
• 1:01:57
  True, that is true. It's.
• 1:01:58
  Very different. Like, yes, we all have 24 hours,
• 1:02:01
  but how we have the 24 hours is very, very different.
• 1:02:03
  And so even taking this a minute, instead of doom
• 1:02:07
  scrolling in the minute or it's the hours that people do take
• 1:02:10
  the 5 minutes and just look, look up and just look at your
• 1:02:13
  home or look at your closet and really ask yourself, is this
• 1:02:18
  really me? Is this how I want to feel in my
• 1:02:20
  clothing? And if not, what are the baby
• 1:02:23
  steps I can do to make that happen?
• 1:02:26
  For example, spring cleaning is coming.
• 1:02:28
  That's right. And we cleanse the closet of
• 1:02:30
  things that you haven't touched that are dusting in your.
• 1:02:33
  Closet Start selling things that are no longer serving you.
• 1:02:37
  Yes, and I had my husband gave me that hard talk because we
• 1:02:39
  were clearing things out. Because you are a hoarder.
• 1:02:43
  You. Need to stop thinking you're
• 1:02:45
  going to do something with this and actually let it go.
• 1:02:48
  Let it go. But what if?
• 1:02:50
  And you come up with excuses, right?
• 1:02:51
  No, I'll use this for XYZ and then you actually don't.
• 1:02:56
  So bring in a third perspective or expect to be real with
• 1:03:01
  yourself as well if you need to help eliminate something in your
• 1:03:05
  health. I love that.
• 1:03:06
  Absolutely. Bring in a third party.
• 1:03:09
  Make it. Yeah.
• 1:03:10
  Make it fun. Romanticize the process.
• 1:03:12
  You know, getting ready. It's the same thing.
• 1:03:14
  Romanticize the process. If you're just getting ready in
• 1:03:16
  a stressful environment, you're rushing all the time.
• 1:03:19
  You're listening to sad music. You don't have enough like that
• 1:03:22
  is going to you're getting ready is your pregame to the day.
• 1:03:27
  That's right, right. And so romanticizing that with
• 1:03:31
  music, getting your matcha ready in the morning for you, like
• 1:03:36
  actually being able to walk in your closet peacefully.
• 1:03:39
  Is your closet chaotic or is it organized?
• 1:03:42
  Same with your home, right. If your home is just full of
• 1:03:44
  clutter and messes are everywhere, it's not going to
• 1:03:46
  feel fun. You can't romanticize like
• 1:03:50
  laying there enjoying it with like the lights.
• 1:03:52
  Like you know how the accent lights are so much better than
• 1:03:56
  the overhead lights? Agreed.
• 1:03:57
  We we did a whole segment on Next.
• 1:03:59
  Right, right. But that's like, romantic.
• 1:04:01
  Yeah, yeah, it's. Romanticizing the process.
• 1:04:04
  Same thing with your with your getting ready process.
• 1:04:07
  More people need to do that as. Well, especially, you know,
• 1:04:10
  'cause we are, like you said, everybody's 24 hours.
• 1:04:13
  It's different for each person, but it's the same amount of
• 1:04:16
  time. Just, we use it differently.
• 1:04:19
  And then mornings can be very stressful if you're trying to
• 1:04:22
  rush out the door. And and so just taking that
• 1:04:26
  little bit of, you know, slow down and just, yeah,
• 1:04:31
  romanticizing the process is the yeah.
• 1:04:34
  Even like blast like instead of drinking water out of a water
• 1:04:36
  bottle, put in a wine glass. I love that.
• 1:04:39
  And then it's a lot. More romanticized way to drink
• 1:04:42
  your water. It is.
• 1:04:43
  That is so true. And you know what?
• 1:04:46
  You can get things like that for inexpensive.
• 1:04:48
  You don't have to like spend a lot of money on it.
• 1:04:51
  We talk about that a lot of going to second hand stores,
• 1:04:54
  like your little teacup there. It's so pretty.
• 1:04:58
  Yeah. I mean, even if you wanted to
• 1:04:59
  drink water out of that doesn't have to.
• 1:05:02
  Be tea. Because I can't.
• 1:05:03
  That's right. Because I can't.
• 1:05:05
  Yeah. Person is usually stopping you
• 1:05:06
  from doing the things that you want to do is yourself.
• 1:05:08
  That's right, that's right. So we need to give ourself
• 1:05:11
  permission and just go for it and live your best life at home.
• 1:05:16
  Dress. Dress in a way that really
• 1:05:18
  expresses your personality. Live in a way that expresses
• 1:05:22
  your personality. It's not going to be.
• 1:05:23
  Perfect and we want perfection. I am a perfectionist to AD but
• 1:05:29
  it's not very going to be perfect and the best things in
• 1:05:33
  my life that have happened are because of messy action.
• 1:05:35
  Oh yeah. Going through it and figuring it
• 1:05:38
  out a lot, whether it's wardrobe, home, parenting, yeah.
• 1:05:45
  Yeah, there's, there's no rule book for that, Yeah.
• 1:05:48
  They make the books, but there's no perfect way, right?
• 1:05:52
  So. Let me ask you this, You just
• 1:05:56
  have so, so much good wisdom, not just in in the fashion part,
• 1:06:02
  but just in life. That's probably your psychology
• 1:06:04
  behind behind all of it. If someone were wanting to, you
• 1:06:10
  know, change their style and they need your help, how how
• 1:06:13
  would we find you? Like, could you tell us a little
• 1:06:16
  bit about your website or your your online presence So you can
• 1:06:21
  find me on TikTok and Instagram. It's by Samantha Dawn BY
• 1:06:25
  Samantha. DAWN and that's where you'll
• 1:06:28
  find my social media. If you like put on a lot of
• 1:06:32
  tips. They like resources on there.
• 1:06:36
  And then if you go on my website, www.byesmithodon.com
• 1:06:41
  has a lot of information as well about what I do with my clients.
• 1:06:43
  But the easiest way you could either e-mail me, DM me on
• 1:06:47
  Instagram and we can just get started there.
• 1:06:49
  I just I want to get to know like clients.
• 1:06:53
  Yes. Or people who want to work with
• 1:06:55
  me just to make sure it's a good fit too.
• 1:06:56
  That's really important, that's all.
• 1:06:58
  Absolutely, it's got to be a good fit both ways and the fact
• 1:07:01
  that you don't have to, they don't have to travel to you, you
• 1:07:04
  don't have to travel to them necessarily.
• 1:07:06
  So there's really no reason not to, you know, reach out to you.
• 1:07:12
  And I just again, just appreciate you being here and
• 1:07:16
  sharing your information. You, you're not, you're
• 1:07:20
  certainly not gatekeeping things and you're really wanting to
• 1:07:25
  help others. So we appreciate you being here.
• 1:07:27
  And yeah, thank you. Thank.
• 1:07:29
  You so much for having me. This is so fun.
• 1:07:31
  Yeah, we want you to come back. I I really would love for you to
• 1:07:35
  to style someone and have that home connection just to see you
• 1:07:41
  know how how their home is connecting to their their own
• 1:07:45
  style. Oh yeah.
• 1:07:46
  Oh, maybe we could do something for fashion.
• 1:07:48
  Week, it would be kind of fun to do that.
• 1:07:51
  Do you think that's a possible possibility that we can do like
• 1:07:54
  we? Already got this one like we had
• 1:07:55
  ideas. Yeah, we have ideas.
• 1:07:58
  But anyway, that's a wrap, everyone.
• 1:08:01
  We're going to see you the next time on Seated Podcast.
• 1:08:05
  Thank you. Bye.