Latest / Teachings On This Day On FerventWord / On Aug 30, 2009: 1 Peter 3:1-7
Transcript
- Here in 1 Peter chapter 3, we are really continuing a subject that Peter began in chapter 2. We saw it last week in chapter 2, verses 11 through 25. Peter began the subject, he began this section talking about sojourners. In verse 11 of 1 Peter chapter 2, Peter says, Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul. Verse 1. And so last week as we began this subject, began this section of Peter's letter, we talked about sojourners and what that means and that God has called us to be as sojourners. A sojourner is a foreigner or a stranger. It's one who lives in a place without the right of citizenship. You and I live in this world, but as believers in Jesus Christ, we have become a new creation and our citizenship has changed. We are no longer citizens of this world, but we are citizens of the kingdom of God. Our citizenship is in heaven. Right now, I like the picture, the analogy of us camping. We're like camping right now. We're roughing it out here in the wilderness. But our real home, well, we're going to be going back there soon. But as we're here in the wilderness, as we're roughing it out here, camping, so to speak... As we're living in this world, we're called to live as sojourners. Peter, as he's talking about this idea of a sojourner, he's trying to remind us, he's encouraging us regarding the fact that everyone around us is going to stand before God one day. He says they will glorify God in the day of visitation. When God returns, when God visits, when He comes back, they will stand before God and they will glorify Him. They will recognize that He is the King of kings and Lord of lords. And Peter is saying that you and I are to live as sojourners in that we live in such a way that when they stand before God, that they glorify God Not only because He is God, not only because He is King of kings and Lord of lords and is worthy of all glory and honor and power and praise, but they also glorify God because of what they observed in your life and in my life. We are to live in such a way that our works and our conduct is a subject that is used for them to glorify God when they stand before Him. For those who are believers, when they stand before God in the day of visitation, that means that they will glorify God because of the work that He was doing in us and how God used us to minister to them and to impact their lives and to share with them about God and encourage them in their relationship and in their growth with God. But even those who are not believers will glorify God in the day of visitation. They will stand before God and every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. And what Peter says is even those who do not believe that they will glorify God because of the good works which they observed in you. They will glorify God in the day of visitation. They will stand before Him and say... God, you were speaking to me. I refused. I rebelled. I didn't want to listen. But the way he lived, I noticed. I observed. I paid attention. And I know you were trying to get a hold of my life. And you were trying to speak to me and you were reaching out to me through that person and through the testimony that they had. But I refused to listen. Everyone around us will stand before God and they will glorify him. Peter says, live in such a way That your conduct is on the list of subjects about which they glorify God. So how do we do this? How do we live in that way? How do we have our conduct honorable as sojourners, as Peter commands us? Well, last week in chapter 2, we started this discussion looking at submission. Submission. We submit to governing authority, Peter says. In order to live our lives in this way, to be a witness and to impact the world around us, we are to be submitted to the governing authorities that are over us. Peter says to obey every ordinance of man that were to be submitted to the government that is above us. He then went on to share with us that we're to be submitted to our employers. The way that we impact the world around us and be this witness is that we submit to those who are over us and have authority above us in the workplace. Peter also encouraged us there at the end of chapter 2 to suffer like Christ did with patience and enduring it, trusting in God to take care of things. Well, as we continue on now in chapter 3, the subject is the same. Peter is still encouraging us regarding the idea of being a sojourner, only now he was talking about, he's dealing with the honorable conduct that we need to have within the home and between a husband and a wife. And so that's what he's talking about here in verses 1 through 7. Now, as you look at this, verses 1 through 6 is dealing with the wives and what God has called them. And then verse 7 is dealing with the husbands and what God has called them to do. And the question has often been asked, why is there so many verses, six verses for the ladies and just one verse for the men? And there's different perspectives and people have shared different ideas about why this may be. Some say, well, men cannot handle more than one verse at a time. So you just give them a little bit of instruction. It's about all they can handle where the wives perhaps can take a little bit more. I like the way Corson shares about this. He says, look, if you are going to go to a farm and buy a turkey and you want to get some instructions on how to take care of this turkey, the turkey doesn't get any instructions, but the person caring for the turkey gets the instructions. And so he compares the men to turkeys and the women to the caretakers. And so they're the ones with the instructions. But I look at it from a little bit different perspective. And allow me to share this with you. I think it's a matter of style. Peter is simply recognizing that there are differences between men and women. I think we can all recognize that and understand that. Peter was married. He... knew what it was like to be married. And so he shares with us, with the women as they can understand and with the men as they can understand. Now, women usually talk a little bit more than the guys. And guys talk a little bit less, right? Everybody kind of in agreement? There's a different way that we approach subjects and situations. But as we look at this passage, it really boils down to about the same amount of content. two commands that Peter gives, as well as some motivation. Two commands for the women and two commands for the men. Now, when he's talking with the ladies, Peter adds some examples and some colorful words and some special scenarios and then a summary at the end. I mean, he just kind of fills it in really well, but you can boil it down to two commands with some motivation to be obedient to those commands. With the guys, he He doesn't, you know, use flowery words. He just kind of cuts right to the point, gives the command as simple as possible and the motivation necessary for us to be obedient to that command. And so it's the same amount of instruction, but just a little bit different approach because you and I as husbands and wives, we are a little bit different and we receive a little bit differently than one another. So let's look at what the commands are. What are we called to do as husbands and wives to be sojourners and be a witness to the world around us? First, Peter addresses the wives and the first command he gives is that wives are to be submissive to their own husbands. Look at verse 1. He says, So he starts out instructing the wives to be submissive to their own husbands. Now, I know that many of the ladies this morning are up in the mountains. They're on the women's retreat and they're being blessed and Guys, I want to share with you, this is a great opportunity. It's a great opportunity for you to take some good notes, to pay attention, and to start a Bible study with your wife. And I'm serious. I'm not really joking. When she comes down, take some time this week to share with her this passage. Take some time. It's something we ought to be doing. It's something we need to be doing. And if you're not doing it, this is a great opportunity to start. God's been speaking to her as she comes down. Take this time. Take this opportunity to share with her what God says about our roles as husbands and wives. And I don't mean, you know, just get the CD and then give it to her. No, I mean, you take some notes and share with her what God is speaking through this passage. And then if she doesn't believe you, then you can get the CD and I'll back you up. And, you know, you can have her listen to the things that God will speak this morning. But it is so important that we spend time in the Word together, as we'll see a little bit later in dealing with the husbands. Notice the word likewise there in verse 1. He's connecting this thought with wives being submissive to their husbands with the previous one. So he's been talking about submission to government, submission to employer. He's been talking about suffering like Christ. And he says likewise in the same way as a sojourner, wives be submissive to your own husbands. In the same way that we are to submit to God, government authority, wives are to be submissive to their own husbands. In the same way that we are to be submitted to our employers, wives are to be submitted to their own husbands. Whenever we deal with this subject of submission within a marriage, it can be a sensitive and difficult subject because, well, it's offensive to some people. But you know, if God's word offends you, then you need to repent. You need to get right. Because God is right. And His Word speaks accurately. He knows what we need. He created us. And so we need to be submitted to Him. And in order to be submitted to Him, wives, you need to be submitted to your own husband. Now, Peter uses this word submit. It's the same one that we saw last week. It means to arrange under, to subject yourself to, and to yield to. But again, I don't believe that we have a problem with the definition. That's not very difficult for us. The difficulty is not the definition, but the application. And so this is where God wants to work in the application of this word submit, specifically in regards to wives and their husbands. Now, in dealing with this idea of submission, I do like to point out, I must clarify, when God calls the wives to submit to their own husbands, understand that it is not a statement of importance or value. God is not saying that women are less important, nor is He saying that they are less valuable. He's not saying that they're less deserving, or less discerning, or less wise, or less intelligent. He is not saying any of those things. The reality is, is just that this is the order that God has established. It's the order that God has established within the home, within a marriage, within a family, And so that is why he calls the wives to submit. If I were to line all of you up, single file, tallest to shortest, your position within the line would not be a statement of your importance. If you are the tallest person, I think that's probably Daryl, it doesn't make you the most important, although Daryl might like to think so. If you're the shortest person, I won't point that person out. Doesn't mean you're the least important person. If you're standing in that line, your position in the line is a matter of order. It's a matter of the order that has been given, not a matter of value or importance or anything else. And so when God talks about submission within a marriage, understand it's not demeaning. It's not negative towards wives or women at all. It's about the order that He has established. And so he calls the wives to be submissive to their own husbands. Now, it's interesting, he points out their own husbands, and he does this again as well in Ephesians chapter 5. It says, It's not that women are to be just submitted to men in general. It's not that women are submissive across the board to every man, but it's God's specific order within the home. And so, how much ever authority... A woman might have outside of the home, in the workplace or in society, there's no prohibition against that. That's not what the Bible is talking about. No, what God is saying is within the home, yeah, she may have all kinds of authority, but within the home, I don't know if I said that right, outside of the home she might have all kinds of authority, but inside the home she is to be submitted to her own husband. As I did last week, I want to take you to another portion of Scripture just so that you can, with your eyes, visually see, you can give a little bit of peace to your heart and recognize this indeed is what the Bible teaches. It's not a fluke thing. So turn with me please to Ephesians chapter 5. In Ephesians chapter 5, the Apostle Paul is dealing with the subject of husband and wife and the roles within the marriage. And Paul takes it from an example of Christ and the church. Look at verse 22 of Ephesians chapter 5. It says, Here, Paul gives us The same statement as Peter. The wives are to be submitted to their own husband. Paul goes on now to give a little bit of a picture so that if you have any questions, concerns, if you need some clarification on, well, when are we to submit and how is this submission supposed to take place and what areas is there to be submission? Well, Paul gives us the example of Christ and the church so that we can look at that and have all of our questions answered. So, As you look at the example of Jesus and the church and how the church is to be submitted to Jesus, now you have a clear picture of how the wife is to be submitted to her husband in everything the Apostle Paul says. It's what the Bible teaches. We may not like it. We may disagree. Society may reject it. Our friends and family may be opposed to it. But it's what the Bible teaches. It's God's that he has established within a marriage relationship. And since he created marriage, since he's the one who invented it, he knows how it is to work and what is best for us. So wives, submit to your own husbands. Now Peter's dealing with it in the context of being a sojourner. Listen, ladies, do you have friends, family, co-workers, friends, those around you that you want to see come to the Lord? You want to see them get right with God and be born again? Do you have people around you that you want to get saved? Peter says, here's a great way to do that. Be a sojourner. Live your life here. It's just temporary. Live your life here as a foreigner, as a stranger, not subscribing to this world. You're not a citizen of this world, but instead subscribing to God what God has established in His kingdom, the role of a wife. You want those people around you to be saved? You want them to be submitted to God? Be the example of how they are to submit to God by submitting to your own husband, Peter is saying. This is what He's calling us to do. He's calling us to be sojourners, to live our lives in such a way that it impacts the world around us, that by our conduct, by observing how we live and what we do, God is speaking through them. So you want those people around you to know God, to get right with God? Peter says the best thing you can do is to submit to your own husband. He goes on to give a special scenario. What if the husband is not a believer? What are you to do then as a wife? Peter says it's the same thing, same command. You're to be submissive. He says, even if he does not believe the word or even if he does not obey the word, the wife is to be submissive to her own husband. But look at the purpose. Look at the objective. He says that even if they don't obey, that without a word, they may be won by the conduct of their wives. So by the wife's obedience to this and being submissive to her husband, that is a powerful testimony that words can't even compare to. And so even without a word, the obedience to this command is powerful enough to impact the husband that he might be won or that he might get saved, that he might be won over for the kingdom of God. Now, Peter doesn't say, okay, so... If your husband is not a believer, then you don't have to submit. He doesn't say that. He doesn't say, if he's not a believer, okay, well, let's start a plan, okay? What you need to do is you need to tell him every day about hell and make sure he understands that's not what Peter says. He doesn't say you should nag him. You know, I think about it this way, you know, nagging, it's so prevalent, it happens so much because it's so effective, right? Right? No. How effective is nagging? It's not. It does the opposite of what you're intending to do, but it's kind of a last resort. It's kind of a desperate effort that people do. Peter says, look, you don't have to open your mouth. You don't have to use words. You don't have to nag them. Here's what you got to do. If you have an unbelieving husband or someone who's not obedient to the word, win them over by your conduct. By being obedient to God and submitting to the husband as the church submits to Christ, that will speak more powerfully. You can't argue them into the kingdom. You can't debate them or nag them into the kingdom. You just need to trust God and be obedient to him. Be submissive to your own husband. He says that they may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. So, not only to the world around you, but especially when your husband is not a believer, not obedient to the word, then the husband there is looking at the conduct of his wife. And that's powerful. God is using that conduct. God is using your obedience to his word to speak powerfully into that man's life. And that's the point of being a sojourner. It's living so that others see God in you. Again, 1 Peter 2.12 says, He talks about having our conduct honorable that they, the people around you, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation. The people around us are watching us. Especially the people within our family, but all of the people around us, they're watching. They're observing. They're paying attention. And Peter says, live in such a way that your conduct will glorify God when He returns. Now, for me, it's very hard to imagine the difficulty of being a Christian woman married to an unbelieving husband. But that is the case of many. And I can't pretend to understand what that's like and how tough that must be. And how tough this command must be to those who are in that situation. But understand what Peter is saying. It's worth it. It's tough, but it's worth it. Because by your conduct, they might be won. They have the opportunity. It speaks powerfully for them to get right with God. But not only if you have an unbelieving husband. Peter says, look, you have friends, you have family, you have co-workers. You want to see them come to the Lord? Be a sojourner. Submit to your husband. And be the example of how they're to be submitted to God. Well, the second command Peter gives to the wives is to adorn your hearts. Look at verse 3. He says, Don't be consumed with the things on the outside, the arranging the hair, the wearing gold, the putting on fine apparel. He's not saying that if you arrange your hair that you're now a sinner. He's not saying that you were a sinner before you arranged your hair and arranging your hair doesn't change the fact that He's not saying that if you put on fine apparel that now suddenly your salvation is in question or that you can't follow God and put on those things and wear jewelry and those types of things. There are those who teach that. But that is not at all what Peter is saying. He says, look, when it comes to adornment, now this word adornment, The Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God, the Word of God Because it's talking about the things that are in order. This world and this universe is something that has been set in order by God. From this word cosmos in the Greek, we also get the word cosmetics, makeup, those types of things, cosmetology. What does it mean? It means to set in order. That's all that it means. Here's what Peter's saying. The things that you set in order, the way that you order your life is not to be based upon the things on the outside. Don't order your life, don't set your life in order the way that the world does based upon arranging of the hair, fine jewelry, fine apparel. Don't order your life based on appearance. Instead, order your life based upon the inner person. Now, When it comes to makeup and fine apparel and arranging the hair and stuff like that, I like the way that J. Vernon McGee puts it. He says, look, if the barn needs painting, then paint it. Now, husbands, if you're taking notes, you're going to share this with your wife later when she comes back from the retreat. You might leave that part out. I have a little bit of shelter I can duck down right here if I need to, but you might not want to share that in close quarters. Hey, if you need to take care of some things, take care of some things. It's not sinful. It's not wrong. Here's what Peter's saying. Don't be consumed by the outside. That's temporary anyway. Instead, pay attention to, look at verse 4, rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. So here's the priority that Peter is saying. Here's where our focus needs to be. This is where you need to be paying attention. Not to the outer person, but to the inner person, the hidden person of the heart, Peter says. Now, women put on makeup and they get dressed up all kinds of different ways to achieve all kinds of different goals, right? Some makeup is put on and it's applied in order to conceal. There's things that they don't want others to see. Sometimes women and ladies apply makeup to look natural and to kind of have a natural feel, a natural tone. Some apply it very much so to have the makeup look so that you can tell that there is makeup upon them. And there's all kinds of reasons for why they apply makeup the different ways. Sometimes they dress themselves up in order to impress a guy. Other times they dress up just because that's what they want to do and that's how they want to look. Sometimes it's to compete with someone else. All I'm saying is there's all kinds of reasons that ladies do these things that Peter's talking about here. Arranging the hair, wearing gold, putting on fine apparel. And what Peter's saying is stop trying to please everyone else and start trying to please God. We know God told Samuel, I don't look at the outside. That's what man looks at. God says, I look at the heart. And so Peter says, look, don't let your adornment, don't set your life in order in order to please everybody else. Set your life in order so that you might please God. And what does he look at? He looks at the heart. So pay attention to the heart. Remember that we're sojourners. The outer is temporary anyway. It's the heart that God is concerned with. And so your heart, God says, well, it needs to have the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. A gentle and quiet spirit. He says this is very precious in the sight of God. I would suggest that at least as much time as you spend taking care of the outside, you should spend taking care of the inside. Setting this in order, a gentle and quiet spirit. The word gentle, it's the word we know as meekness. Power under control. A gentle and a quiet spirit. This is what's precious in God's sight. This is what God desires. This is what pleases God. Order your life in such a way. Set your life in order. Set this thing in order because it's what's pleasing to God. Now, as Peter goes on in verse 5 and 6, he gives a summary and a little bit of an example. He says in verse 5, For in this manner in former times the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. And so as Peter goes on now, wrapping up with the wives, he kind of gives a little bit of summary as well as a look back at some of the godly women of old, the godly women of the scriptures. He says, look, they also adorned themselves in this same way with a gentle and quiet spirit and they were submissive to their own husbands. And so this is how you are to be, he says. This is how holy women are. This is how godly women are. Even... As Sarah, he uses a specific example. There in verse 6, Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And he says, look, you're her daughters if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Now, Peter was writing to Jews who had been dispersed throughout the world. And so, for a Jewish person, There's not a higher role model than Abraham and for the ladies, Sarah, his wife. They were the beginning of the Hebrew nation, the beginning of the Jewish nation. And so it would be something that they would desire and aspire to, to be like Sarah, to be daughters of Sarah, daughters of a godly woman who had godly virtue and character. And so we have Sarah as an example that Peter gives us. Now, Sarah, she had some tough spots in her life, but she was submitted to her husband, Peter is saying. She adorned herself with a gentle and quiet spirit and she submitted to Abraham. I think Sarah is a great example for us to consider as well because sometimes when talking about submission, some guys have tried to use it and take it too far to rule with an iron fist. But that's not really what God is saying. Sarah had a voice. And she communicated with Abraham. There were times when Abraham should not have listened to her. That's quite clear. Genesis chapter 16, when Sarah says, Hey, take Hagar, and God will fulfill the promise of a son through my handmaiden Hagar, instead of through me. And Abraham should not have listened to her in that case. But later on in Genesis chapter 21, Sarah was telling Abraham, Hey... You need to send away Hagar and Ishmael. They're causing problems. They're not going to be heirs and receive the inheritance with Isaac. And so you need to send them away. And Abraham didn't like it. He was fighting. He said, no, no, no. But God spoke to Abraham and said, hey, you need to listen to your wife. And so you see both sides that she was able to communicate that there were times that he was to listen to her, that times that he was not to listen to her. The point is she had a voice. She was a part of the process. It wasn't, you know, just like you need to be quiet and I don't have to listen to you. That's not what submission is all about. It's simply deferring the final decision to the husband, allowing him to make that decision because that's the place that God has given him within the marriage. And so he says, like, you're her daughters if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. You know, fear is often the reason that women are not submitted because they're fearful of what would happen if I submitted. They're fearful of what would happen if I submitted to my husband as the church is to submit to Christ. The motivation for many is fear when it comes to the outer appearance. The arranging of the hair and the dressing up, it's as a result of fear. What if I'm not accepted? And what will people think? And what will people say? And so he says, look, you're her daughters. It was something that would inspire them and encourage them to be obedient to God, to fulfill their role, to submit themselves to their own husbands, and to adorn themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit. Well, now Peter goes on to talk to the husbands. And as we look at the husbands again, it's two commands. Notice the word likewise again in verse 7. Likewise. What is he using this word for? To connect it to the previous thought. Now, let's back up together for just a moment. In 1 Peter 2.11, Peter calls us to be as sojourners and to have our conduct honorable among the people around us. In verse 13, he tells us how to do this. He says, therefore, submit to every ordinance of man. Submit to governing authorities. In verse 18 of chapter 2, he says, submit to your masters. Submit to your employers. In chapter 3, verse 1, he says, wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands. And now in verse 7 of chapter 3, he says, husbands, likewise, and guys always try to get out of and think that we don't have to submit. But hear what Peter is saying. He's connecting this thought as he's sharing verse 7. This is his way of telling the guys, you need to be submissive as well. We are called to be submissive. Not in the same way. It's a little bit different. But likewise, in the same thought, as sojourners, as we are submitted to authority and submitted to our employers and wives are submitted to their husbands, there is a way, a form of submission for us as well that we are called to fulfill, that we are called to do. What is that? Well, you see, the wife submits by setting aside her own self. The husband submits by paying attention to his wife. She sets herself aside. He pays attention to her. That is how God has called us as husbands to submit. And so the first command we see here reinforces this idea, shares this idea. He says, Husbands, dwell with your wives with understanding. Guys, the command to you is to understand your wife. Understand your Do you understand your wife, husbands? Do you? Harvey, you're a pretty old guy. I think you probably got this wired, right? Many guys would say at this point, that's not possible. She's mysterious. She doesn't make any sense. There's no logic at all, some guys would say. Others would say, no, I understand my wife. I understand she better submit. But that's not what God's called us either. Right? No, he says, understand your wife. Isn't it amazing how we're all experts on what everybody else ought to be doing? You ask a husband, well, put it this way, every husband knows about this verse. Every husband knows that the Bible teaches that wives are to submit. Even unbelieving husbands know that the Bible teaches that wives are to submit. And if you ask them, they can explain what they think it means. They can quote several passages and give a few examples for this. But then you ask a guy, well, what does it mean to dwell with your wife with understanding? And that's about the response. It's just a long pause. It just means to dwell with understanding. That's all that it means. The word understanding, it means knowledge. But specifically, it means to know by experience. To know by experience. Peter says, guys... You need to spend enough time with your wives that you have enough experience with her that you know her. There was a study reported in a typical week. An average married couple spends about 37 minutes of time together. And you can see how that could happen, especially in our day and age. Usually the guy's working, the girl's working. If there's kids involved, it gets even more complicated. There's other activities and things and I could easily see how 37 minutes a week could be average, but that's not the way it ought to be. And you cannot dwell with your wives with understanding on 37 minutes a week. It doesn't work that way. Peter is saying, look, you need to know her. You need to know what makes her tick. You need to know what her hopes and her dreams are. What makes her happy? What makes her sad? You need to know what she's feeling, what she's going through. How life is going for her. What she's experiencing. Husbands, it's your job to know what she means when she says something that does not mean what she means. I think the husbands get it, right? It's your job to know what she means. She says something that doesn't mean what she's saying. It means what she's saying, but it doesn't mean what she means. There's something else really behind the scenes. There's something more to the picture. And it's your job to know what she means when she says those things. And then, once you know all this, Peter's saying, as you learn all these things, you know what's going on within her. You know what she's like. You know what she's going through. Now, Peter says, dwell with her accordingly. Now you can meet her needs. Now you can minister to her. Now you can help her. And that's what you're called to do. Dwell with her with understanding. Live with her because you know who she is and why things are the way they are and why she says what she says and what she means when she says it. Turn with me to Ephesians chapter 5 because again, we need to see not just from here, but this is really what God has called us to as husbands. We need to know this is what the Bible teaches. This is not... Some, you know, ideal thing. Okay, yeah, ideally, you know, I'd blow with my wife with understanding. But, you know, in my case, she's just a little bit beyond comprehension. It's just a little bit too difficult. I'm a little bit too dense, whatever. You know, we're the exception and we make up all these excuses. No, this is what God commands us to do as husbands. This is your command. Guys, it's your responsibility to know your wife. And you need to take whatever time you need to take in order to know her by experience so that you can dwell with her with understanding. Look at verse 25 of Ephesians chapter 5. He says, Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Again, he gives us the example of the Lord and the church. It's the example of how wives are to submit, but it's also the example of how husbands are to love their wives and dwell with them with understanding. He says, look... You are to love your wife as you love yourself. You understand yourself and you understand your needs and what makes you tick and when you're happy and when you're sad. You understand those things and so you live accordingly. In the same way, you are to care for your wife, to know her and love her as much as you love yourself. Jesus understood the need of the church and he loved the church enough to give of himself sacrificially in order to meet that need. This is what we're called to do. To nourish and cherish her because we know her and we know what she needs and what will minister to her and what will bless her, what will encourage her and what will help her. Now guys, husbands, do you have friends, family, co-workers, people around you that you want to see come to the Lord? Here's what Peter says. Be a sojourner. Guys, be a sojourner. Dwell with your wife with understanding. Be an example to them of how God loves them and gave himself for them. You're that picture and that example because they're observing it will speak powerfully to them. Peter says, be a sojourner. This is a way that in the day of visitation they will glorify God because of the good works that they observed in you. Not only is it good for your marriage and the way that God has designed marriage, but it's a powerful testimony. Well, the second command that God gives to the husbands is to give honor. He says there in verse 7, The word honor, it means to value something or to set a price or a value upon something. So God is saying, give her a special value. Set a special value upon her. Let her be a special value to you. Give honor to her. And he gives us two ways in order to do that, or to consider. He says, honor the wife as to the weaker vessel. Now again, this is not a statement of importance or value. If I was to line you up all single file, strongest to weakest. Your place in that line is not a statement of how important you are or how valuable you are. No, what God is saying is, well, the wife is a weaker vessel. It's not a bad thing. It's who He created you to be. Now, some of you have wives that can beat you up and you can come forward afterwards and we'll pray for you. But in general, men are stronger than women. It's physically, it's just a part of life. It's a reality. But that's not the only way that... we could consider as a weaker vessel. You know, women also, emotionally, can be very fragile. I like to think of it as delicate, not necessarily weaker. And to that effect, I've got here a little bit of a glass. Now, this probably has some specific name and it's a particular kind of glass and some of you ladies could probably tell me. But it's just a glass, okay? Now, this is not a glass that I use very much because it requires... Well, it requires too much attention. I would break this glass if it was a glass that I normally use. I have at home, I have these plastic glasses. And you can bang them around, you can scrub them, you can stand on top of them if you want to. They're not going to break. They're very durable. I don't have to worry about it. I don't have to pay attention to it. I have a lot of relationships like that. They're my guy friends. They're very durable. I can stand on them, beat them around. It's not a big deal. Your wife is not that kind of relationship. She's not one of the guys. You can't beat her up. You can't bing her around. You can't stand on top of her. No, you're to honor her as the weaker vessel. She's delicate and you need to take care of her. You need to make sure that she stays intact. You need to keep her whole. You need to treat her appropriately. That means you need to pay the proper attention that she needs. You need to take extra special care of her. You know, she can be wounded very deeply by what you say and what you do. You need to be careful not to wound her in those ways. You need to be gentle with her. The world around can be very severe and fierce. You need to protect her. It's your job to give honor to her as the weaker vessel, to pay attention and to give special value to her, to treat her as much more valuable than your own self. To make sure that she is protected, that she's whole. Honor her as the weaker vessel. But he also says, honor her as heirs together. One last thought on that. I just have to share it. Guys, listen, there's no place, there's no excuse for abuse of any kind ever. Physically, emotionally, verbally, whatever you want to categorize it as, she's the weaker vessel. She's fragile. God has entrusted her to you. And if you damage her, if you hurt her, you will give account to Him. You will stand before Him. And I would not want to be in your shoes. She is yours to protect. to take care of, to honor and to cherish. Make sure that you do so. We're also to give her honor as a joint heir. We're heirs together. Now again, this highlights and points out, God's not talking about the woman as inferior. No. Especially when it comes to a relationship with God. He says, look, you're joint heirs. You're equals together. Galatians chapter 3 makes it clear there's no male nor female in Christ. Hey, we all have the same access to God through Jesus Christ. Men do not have a superior connection to God over women. Men don't get a higher place in heaven. God doesn't distinguish between man and woman. We all have the same access to Him. And so we're to give her special honor, special value, because she's an heir along with us. She's part of the grace of life that God has given to us. Listen, guys, she's inheriting eternity with us, but she's with us for the journey as well. And so Peter's saying, look, you need to give her special honor. Spend some time with her in the grace of life. Spend some time with her. She is able to be used by God to minister to you greatly. She's a joint heir. She's on the road with you to eternity. Give special honor to her. You know, God has placed her in your life that you might minister to her and help her along the way to encourage her and build her up and make her into the woman of God that He's called her to be. But He's also placed her in your life so that she... Well, that she can minister to you and build you up and help you in this life. You see, honor her. Give her special value. Listen, pay extra attention to what she says about what God is showing her in the Word and what she sees in your life and what God wants to speak through her. Give special value and special attention because God has placed her in your life for that reason. For you to care for her but also to receive from her. Because you're joint heirs in this grace of life. The journey from now to eternity. God has joined her together with you. So you're to give her special honor. Spend time with her in the Word. Spend time with her in prayer. And allow God to minister to you through her. And make sure that you take time to speak to her the things of God. To build her up and prepare her. Give her special honor. Well, he closes verse 7 with the motivation for the guys. Notice the girls. As we looked at verses 1 through 6, he says, look, you want to submit to your husbands. Hey, especially girls, even if your husband doesn't believe, you know, that they might be one. There's a great powerful impact upon your husband when you're obedient to this. It gives a little motivation there to the ladies. He goes on to say, hey, you want to make sure that you do this because it's precious in God's sight. Have a gentle and quiet spirit because... And it's so precious to God. It's good motivation for the ladies. You're precious in God's sight. And he loves it when you do this, when you're this way, when you take care of your heart in this fashion. He ends by saying, look, you can be like one of Sarah's daughters, following in the line of godly women who've been faithful to him and shown the characteristics of a woman who seeks after God. And so he gives all of these things. He shares these things with the ladies to encourage them, to help them, to motivate them to be obedient to the commands that God has given them. Now as he deals with the guys, he approaches it a little bit differently. And I think it's appropriate. He says, Guys, dwell with your wives with understanding. Honor her. Give her special honor, special value, that your prayers may not be hindered. He shares with us the consequences. Listen, guys. Your prayers can be hindered if you are not obedient to God with regard to how you're to relate to and treat your wife. Your prayers can be impacted. You cannot... Have a close relationship with God and not treat your wife well. You know, someone comes and says they have this spiritual life, they're, you know, just great spiritual insights. Observe how they treat their wife. Observe how they treat their wife. You cannot be close to God and mistreat your wife or ignore your wife. You cannot have a close relationship with God and be thriving spiritually when you don't dwell with your wife with understanding. Maybe some of you guys say, you know, my life's been kind of dry spiritually. I have kind of been not much going on. Perhaps you need to re-examine how are you treating your wife? Are you dwelling with her with understanding? Are you giving honor to her as the weaker vessel is as an heir together of the grace of life? Peter says, look, your prayers may be hindered if you're not obedient in this area. We need to understand this is serious. God wants us. He calls us to be sojourners. It's not easy. And many times it's probably not our favorite thing to do. You want to veg out, use no energy and watch TV? Or you want to use some energy, take great care, and dwell with your wife with understanding? Which one's easier? Boy, that's a tough one. No, it's not. Sure, we'd rather be lazy. We'd rather goof off. We'd rather hang out with our buddies where it's easy. You can toss them around and not have to worry about it. But husbands... God has commanded you, he's called you to dwell with your wife with understanding. Love her, cherish her, minister to her. Peter says we are to be sojourners. We're to be a witness to the world around us. We can do that as husbands and wives by fulfilling our role within the marriage that God has set for us. Wives, be submissive to your own husbands. Adorn your hearts with a gentle and quiet spirit. Husbands, understand your wife. Whatever it takes, get to know her. Enough time that you know her by experience and give honor to her as to the weaker vessel. You have friends, you have family, you have co-workers that you want to see come to the Lord. Be a sojourner. Wives, submit to your husband. Be the example of how they are to submit to God. Husbands, you be a sojourner. Dwell with your wife with understanding and be the example of how God loves them and gives himself for them, that when they stand before God, they may glorify him because of the conduct that they observed in your life. Let's pray. God, we thank you that you don't leave us as orphans to try to figure out these things and accomplish these things on our own. But Lord, you sent your Spirit to give us insight, instruction to lead us, and to enable us to be obedient to you. And so God, I pray for the husbands I pray for the wives. God, that you would strengthen us, that you would lead us, that we might fulfill the role that you've given to us in the marriage relationship. And God, I pray that you would use it to be a powerful witness in the lives of those around us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. We pray you have been blessed by this Bible teaching. The power of God to change a life is found in the daily reading of His Word. Visit ferventword.com to find more teachings and Bible study resources.