Latest / Notable Nostalgia / 78. 7th Heaven: Last Call for Aunt Julie

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78. 7th Heaven: Last Call for Aunt Julie · Notable Nostalgia

0:00
And then I thought that the makeover thing, like, I don't it's not
0:02
a Kate Hudson movie, like, and she looked like a dump truck.
0:05
Yeah, her her look looks weren't a part of this issue. She was
0:12
fine, Yeah, yeah, she's Oh my god, So I don't like
0:16
I guess a makeover quote unquote solves everything. I'm Ali, I'm Andy,
0:23
I'm Jeff, and I'm Maria And this is notable nostalgian. What's up,
0:31
Nostalgian nerds. I want to thank you so much for listening, But before
0:34
we start, you should go grabag drink because this episode is a trip.
0:39
This week, we're discussing Seventh Heaven, in particular the episode titled Last Call
0:44
for Aunt Julie. This is season one, episode ten. I was able
0:48
to watch on Hulu perfect. If you got Hulu, you're you're able to
0:53
watch it. But before we start with this episode breakdown, I did want
0:59
to hear a little bit. Oh, and I do want to apologize for
1:00
Rha for making her sit through this and she's not able to be on this
1:04
episode and I had to change a date, So I'm so sorry you had
1:07
to sit through this episode. But um, it's more about global like global
1:11
warming this episode. No, no, but like if we could have recorded
1:15
yes warming, that's true. Yes, it was a very yeah um,
1:22
but I did want to get a little bit of everybody's back background with Seventh
1:26
Heaven. So, Ali, have you ever watched it before? No?
1:30
U, first time watching it was was this one same, one hundred percent
1:36
safe? So I didn't know any of the characters. I didn't know.
1:38
I knew it was going to be something religious because of the heaven in the
1:41
name, but I had no idea. Okay, what about you, Jeff,
1:44
Oh we watched this all the time growing oh really yeah yeah, yeah.
1:48
My my dad had strong opinions. I remember of Lucy. He thought
1:51
she looked like not to talk about like degrade a young girl's looks, but
1:57
she looks like, what's that cricket on Pinocchio? Jimmy, Yeah, you
2:01
would always call her Jimminy cricket, not to her face. But like on
2:05
the show, did you guys watch it because it was so kind of fun
2:07
and cheesy or did you watch it for like family moral lessons? And no,
2:12
no, just because it was like me and my sister were so self
2:14
aware of like how shitty things were so we would make Really, I I
2:19
don't even want to make some of the jokes that me and my sister would
2:22
make about this show because it's so horrible, because they do touch on like
2:25
really sensitive subjects. But Jesse, if you're listening, you know what I'm
2:29
talking about. You know, the youngest girl, to me, did it
2:34
look like white? She didn't look white at all. I thought she was
2:36
like black. But yeah, I talk about that like on some of my
2:38
random notes that like, the kids don't Yeah, they're all over the scale.
2:42
Yeah. I thought the youngest was maybe adopted. Yeah yeah, And
2:46
I was like, oh, yeah, maybe there's something in the with the
2:47
story or anything, but I don't know. Um, the just when I
2:53
was rewatching it, I've watching years because like that, that'd be weird if
2:55
I was always watching seven but I but I kept because I recently rewatched Child's
3:02
Play and the mom is the lead in Child's Play. The first weird,
3:07
So I just keep on thinking, like, you know, a horror movie
3:09
that's iconic, and now she goes to this very like wholesome show. Yeah,
3:15
I thought that was good. And then um, and then I wrote
3:16
on here I hate Simon. I hate Lucy the most Um Simon's the young
3:22
Boy, right, Yeah, so I wrote some about that as well.
3:23
So I think it's gonna think we're gonna pretty well on this one. It
3:28
is kind of like nice to hear that, Like, these people aren't just
3:30
like Christian propagandist actors either, you know. Oh yeah, it's just a
3:36
gig, you know. But oh yeah, like Jessica Beale's and this.
3:39
You know, she's a little horror isn't she married? J Yeah she is.
3:43
I don't get along with her. But and then like Matt is hot.
3:49
He's very attrack in the show, very hot. And then uh,
3:52
and then the dad slash pastor guy, like he's I had a good film
3:55
about him when I when he came on the screen, I was like,
3:58
you know what, I don't get a good film about a lot of people
4:00
when I see him. But I was like, this guy can do no
4:01
wrong. Are you here? You know about his scandal? No? What?
4:04
Oh he like blasted a girl, damn it. Yeah, So I
4:10
made them mis sake with this and with Jared Fogel from Subwoy, I just
4:14
have a bad bad No, everybody I love turns out to be evil,
4:17
Yeah, I know, the dad passed her like he got some dimples.
4:20
He's got like really nice dimple. Like those dimples are insane. Yeah,
4:26
Like I would just like want to do like not that I do this,
4:28
but I would want to do like a spoonful of cocaine out of those like
4:31
deep. Well, before we getting the breakdown, I thought I'd give a
4:35
little bit of you know, a little some a little a little info,
4:40
a little bit of info I guess, I don't know, yeah, uh,
4:42
some info about seventh even So theybuted August twenty six, nineteen ninety six,
4:46
and it ran for eleven seasons. I can't believe ran for eleven seasons.
4:48
That's insane. The show was the highest watch show ever on WB with
4:54
twelve point five million people watching on February eighth, nineteen ninety nine, and
4:58
the episode was called Praise of Women. In nineteen ninety seven, it was
5:01
nominated for an Outstanding Art or is it a dominated for Outstanding Art Direction at
5:05
the EMMA at the Emmys, but it lost. Yeah. Yeah, it's
5:11
so that's that's strange to me because the same I really don't think that like
5:15
rewatching it, like, I don't think it. I was in justesting it
5:18
being so bad, and I don't think that it's for that type of show
5:24
what it's going for. I don't think it's that bad. It wasn't as
5:27
bad as I was picturing it to be. Yeah, but it could be
5:30
just because we just came off nine two and I'm a little like desensitized to
5:32
this nineties stuff. So I don't know. The directing's not great or like
5:38
the choices they make, because it has this like weird soft like um filter,
5:44
you know, and then it's so rooted and um late eighties early nineties
5:49
sitcom tropes and and like choices of like the music especially, and like the
5:56
theme song. Like I was watching, I felt like I was watching like
6:00
something from the late eighties. When back I know this is no great wick
6:23
m hmmm. So I don't really understand how it gets Emmy nominated down the
6:26
road, but maybe it gets cutter with more money and towards it because Aaron
6:30
Spelling did this too, right, Yeah, I think he's just think,
6:33
oh, I see yeah, But I could be wrong, but I think
6:36
he was the one I always wanted, like their theme song. So if
6:40
nobody knows of the show, they can just listen to it and be like,
6:42
oh, I know what the show's about. So but that's this theme
6:45
song broke down what the show's about perfectly. I mean for like what they
6:49
were trying to do. They did a great job, Like I know,
6:51
I know all the lyrics to the song. And then Kaylee and who's a
6:56
super fan of our podcast. I was gonna say seven Heaven because they they
7:01
have they add on I don't Sally have this in your notes, but they
7:03
add on, uh two super star actors later on, one Andrew Keagan and
7:12
oh god, so belchi Um and then uh Ashley Simpson. Okay, yeah,
7:18
and whoever's editing this, here's one of Ashley Simpsons songs. And I'm
7:41
I love I was getting like photos for our episode art and apparently they have
7:51
two more freaking kids too down the road. Oh my gosh. Yeah yeah,
7:56
but they had to have oh is that Keagan? And know what?
8:00
Andrew Keagan plays Mary's boyfriend who has a kid out of wedlock at a young
8:03
age. And then now she's in Simpson it's just some random bitch that like
8:07
joins the cast. And then she's the younger of the Simpson girls, right,
8:09
yeah, she's the more talent. One of my favorite thing that she's
8:16
so smart because she's not talented at all. But she's married to Diana Ross's
8:22
son. Okay, that's some good money. That Yeah, she got knocked
8:26
up a couple of times by him too, so she's like, it's like
8:30
one of my idols of like that type of person, Scary Spice, because
8:33
Scary Spice got knocked up by Eddie Murphy. Right, yeah, Actually Simpson
8:37
date Ryan Cabrera, Yes, she did. Did I watched that show.
8:41
I'm not sure if it's his show or her show, but it sucks together
8:45
anymore. He's married to a pro wrestler. Now, oh really yeah,
8:48
wow, that's crazy. You know a lot of Brian Cabrera facts, a
8:52
lot of pro wrestling facts. A fact, ye oh my god. And
9:00
then I we all have one fact about Ryan Cabrera, but I know the
9:03
most. Can we just change it to Ryan Cabrera. We could right get
9:09
him on the podcast. I like that song that single yea all the Way
9:13
Down or something. I would only want to get him on the podcast just
9:15
to get his wife on the podcast personally. And I was thinking about while
9:20
watching this that they shouldn't reboot it and have it be like a Satanic kind
9:24
of version, so it's like a Satanic family instead of a Christian family.
9:28
Yeah, and it could be something like like seventh Deadly Sins or something like
9:33
that. Each kid is like gluttony or each kid is gluttony. Yeah,
9:37
yeah, each kid has like a different deadly sin. I thought that would
9:41
be such a good show. Oh that's funny, ones lost. This is
9:43
a very problematic, not for the dad of the show. Oh my god,
9:48
that's so hard adventure thriller seven with And I didn't want to mention that
9:56
the dad pastor is actually John Tesh. It doesn't yeah, very except I
10:01
brought that up. But whatever, you did bring that up, but I
10:03
wanted to spread that. I just want to spread that rumor that John Tesh
10:07
and the dad is they look almost like like they have the same exact weird
10:11
Baalding part. Yeah. Well like his music, he's a musician. You
10:18
like his music other than round ball rock? Like you like listening to John
10:22
Tesh. Well, he's on smooth jazz and I've always and he always every
10:26
night. I don't know what station it is, but he gives those little
10:28
facts when he's doing like the John Tesh Music Hour, and one of them,
10:31
he talks about crackers and how much people don't think they're There's like fifteen
10:35
calories each crackers. Who goes so if you have three or four crackers for
10:39
a dinner, you already have sixty calories. You know, something like that.
10:41
But he always gives these cool little facts. So I just can't believe
10:45
that he's our rival. He could be on this show like he is that
10:48
religious. I think as well, Yeah, I don't. I don't want
10:54
to have to beat him, but I will. He's huge though. He's
10:56
like Lurch. For those who don't know we're talking about. We were nominated
11:01
for this local award for Best Radio Personality and John Tesh was also one of
11:07
the nominees. And U so you're technically listening to an award nominated podcast.
11:15
Yeah, bravo that friend. I think we got outvoted. At least the
11:20
people of Salem voted us better than John Tesh, so they did in the
11:26
running. I don't know, we'll find out. I guess that they at
11:28
the awards Galla, but oh my, imagine that John Tesh was there.
11:33
I'm gonna get his autograph. I just feel like he's similar to Tony Robbins
11:37
M M right, Yeah, that's same kind of vibe. Yeah, I
11:39
get that all right. Well, now that we hit our obligatory John Tesh
11:45
minute, I also wanted to mention that on this historic day where a president
11:50
was arrested, we're talking about seventh Heaven. And I know we're not like
11:54
we rarely talked about politics on here or anything, but I just think it's
11:58
funny either like I'm the same. I know, I didn't think about seventh
12:03
Heaven way more today. Yeah, and oh, I wonder if if Trump
12:09
watches Seventh Heaven or watched it. I don't probably probably not, or he
12:13
would have made better decisions. Believe me, I know all the numbers.
12:16
Seventh Heaven is a good one, but the ninth Heaven is the best if
12:20
you do go to the ninth. It is funny though they had it's not
12:22
funny, it's dis a pointless fact. But they added on two other babies
12:28
because then they could still have it be seventh Heaven because there's seven two people,
12:31
because like no kids, graduate kids, and then no, it's five
12:35
kids, and then the parents and then it's a seven. But then they
12:39
added that seven just when it comes to the kids though, Yeah, exactly,
12:43
And I feel like the mom is laid in life to get pregnant with
12:46
twins, but at the same time she's probably our age. In this show,
12:50
I feel like the mom and dad had some kind of side murder pack
12:52
near the end. How do they afford to such a nice housework like as
12:56
a pastor? Yeah? Like does she work make a lot of money?
12:58
I don't think she works. Yeah, So it is I am curious how
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they have like a like a massive two story homebia that belongs to the church.
13:09
Yeah, it could be right, Like it's just all church money.
13:11
That's what I'm thinking. Okay, that is what I'm thinking. All right.
13:16
So the episode starts with perfect nineties sitcom music. It sounded so nineties
13:20
it was insane. Then a van pulls up to the house. Next scene,
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we see two kids excitedly shouting, she's here, She's here. I
13:28
was pretty excited when I saw those kids because I was like, oh,
13:31
who's here? I don't know. So now we see a woman walking in
13:33
the house with a nice light blue suit and shoulder pads that an NFL player
13:37
could use during a game. This is the lady that the kids were so
13:41
excited about. When the mom notices Julie, she jumps for joy. The
13:46
mom's reaction is what I would do if I won the lottery. This lady
13:48
must be pretty special. Julie starts greeting the family by calling them ugly,
13:52
which is really odd. She says to the older son, Wow, you've
13:56
gotten even uglier than your dad. When really meets the youngest child, Ruthie,
14:01
Ruthie doesn't understand ants. I guess yeah, that's what the mom says,
14:05
which is weird because she has a ship ton of siblings. Damn,
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Julie's pretty cool. She gave some awesome gifts, wallet full of money,
14:15
some makeup stuff, a doll and a really cool dope batman batman and robin
14:20
sweater combo for the only ugly person in the room, and it's dog.
14:24
That kid suck and oh I even wrote that kid with that white hair sucks.
14:30
When the older son takes Julie to her room, she makes her remark
14:33
that she hopes she is putting him out. I have a feeling this Julie
14:37
doesn't really like this family. The older daughters want to leave Thanksgiving and the
14:41
older son wants to go skiing. Too. It seems like they all want
14:45
to get out of the house. The second the older son walks out of
14:48
the room, Julie frantically starts looking through a luggage to find a bottle of
14:52
vodka and chugs it four big gulps of straight vodka. Yeah, Julie,
15:00
are you ever going to add? Oh? Gosh, kid, they're here.
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You look great. We've missed you so much. I missed you guys
15:09
too. You're still way too good looking to be married to my brother.
15:11
Oh well, you know I only married him for his money. Why else?
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This has never been funny? Do you you sports? You've gotten even
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uglier than your dad. Annie, you're living with trolls. That's the opening
15:26
scene. It was wild. Did you notice that, Like when they're inside
15:31
the house, there's birds still chirping? Like why would they add that sound
15:37
effects? Like this life is so serene, like good Lord? Or what
15:43
if there's an episode prior to where there's like a crazy bird infestation. There's
15:48
too many birds out here. We can't get rid of them. The birds
15:50
at fred Meyer like for people that don't know it's Kroger, but like fred
15:54
Meyer, there's birds in fred Meyer at fred Meyer. Thing to do with
16:00
anything but like in freend of Mine. And then I wrote on here the
16:03
only note, My notes are really horrible, but I wrote, I love
16:06
that in the credits that they like credit happy the Dog. Yeah. I
16:10
also wrote that too. Yeah, the next segment's going to say the intra
16:14
credit music is so good, and I love that they gave a credit title
16:17
for the dog. It says happy, that's happy. And I felt like
16:21
the mean flirting with a drunk ass gets goes on for a way too long,
16:26
so like she's I don't understand what she's what she's doing, like the
16:30
the mean the means flirting. And then I wrote, oh that's not appropriate,
16:33
Jeff, Yeah, everybody uglier. And then I said not to be
16:38
offensive, but I said, fucking Dike keeps checking out Mary and Lucy because
16:42
she like scopes them out, like WAPs them up and down. It's creepy.
16:47
And that's what they to do with her, being like if she happens
16:49
to be a lesbian, like that's totally fine, We're app has the next
16:52
boyfriend. Hmm, that doesn't mean she's not lesbian, Okay. Um I
17:00
had Simon fully dressed with a shirt tucked in dress shoes in the house,
17:03
like, good lord, I had I mentioned that to Ran. She's like,
17:08
oh, if this was a strict Christian household, then for sure he
17:11
would be dressed like that. So I thought that was strange. Um,
17:15
and then I thought Matt and Julie's relationship is super weird because he calls her
17:21
jewels like and then she calls him sport. He's like eighteen, yeah,
17:26
so much. She's like, I hope I'm putting you out. Honestly though
17:32
that kind of ribbing is I didn't. I didn't. I mean that that's
17:34
something like my dad's side of the family did, like you know, it's
17:38
like jokingly say like a stupid or like you know, that kind of stuff.
17:42
But like I just thought they were like, like who calls their aunt
17:47
like if like jewels, right? I just thought it was strange Jewels Boden
17:53
m So for some reason, Um, right after the credits, they have
17:57
like a two minute scene of kids putting their plates in the kitchen and then
18:02
when they go back to the dinner table, they all have plates in front
18:04
of them. So I don't know what the funk they were doing. I
18:07
don't know why they decided to do that. Scene, but at the dinner
18:11
table, the parents have decided to let Matt, Mary, and Lucy all
18:15
bail on Thanksgiving to do other things. Julie suggests cheers for their progressive parenting
18:21
and chugs a glass of wine. And this brings me to my point about
18:25
I see posts all the time on Facebook about people going like, oh,
18:27
I had a bottle of wine today or whatever, you know, like after,
18:30
you know, just in the middle of the day. It's like fourteen
18:33
percent alcohol. So if you had like a bottle of wine or two a
18:37
day, that's like having two four Locos a day. But it's hold if
18:40
I was like, oh I had I had two four logos today, and
18:42
then I'd be like, hey, do you have a problem. But if
18:44
it's wine, it seems acceptable. I don't know, just thrown that out.
18:48
Alcohol's alcohol. So the worst kid in history says, wow, Aunt
18:51
Julie, you sure do you drink a lot of wine? And the dad
18:53
says it's fine, you're a vacation This says he has, and then he
18:57
says he has to leave for a meeting at night time. After dinner,
19:03
Julie and the mom are then talking in front of a fireplace Julie says she's
19:07
tired with life, and then the mom basically says, well, break up
19:11
with your boyfriend at all, and they've been dating for five years, so
19:17
without even like trying to talk about it, I just break up with The
19:19
mom leaves to put the kids to sleep, and Julie finds the stash of
19:22
booze and pours some hooch in her cup and drinks that too. After every
19:26
drink it looks like a mix of orgasm and sadness. Wow. It cuts
19:30
to Matt making out with some girl and when he talks about the ski trip,
19:34
she essentially says she wants to have anal sex during the trip. They
19:37
start making out again. The dad and mom are talking in bed and the
19:41
dad says he is worried about Julie going to Oh Okay, sorry, So
19:47
the dad says he's worried about Julie going to go watch him to do his
19:48
church thing because I don't know what. I don't think, he says,
19:52
I'm a pastor. He says something about church. I don't know. The
19:55
mom says, do you think Julie drank more than usual tonight? The dad
19:59
replies, she has more self discipline than anyone I know. And he couldn't
20:03
be more wrong. But the mom isn't buying it, are you? Okay?
20:08
I don't know, Annie, I'm just so tired. Well, I'm
20:11
always erect the first day of a trip. It could be jetlike yeah,
20:15
maybe, so you're not talking about the trip, are you? No?
20:22
And just tired period. I'm tired of me. I'm tired of being a
20:26
principal, dealing with stupid parents and screwed up kids. I'm tired of New
20:32
York, just the whole thing. Brian him too, I mean five years
20:37
and we're going nowhere. He's nice, he's sweet, he's boring. So
20:45
if Brian's at though one, it's okay. We move on. Why the
20:48
mom was starting to like stray up shit really was? Yeah, because she
20:55
only saw her drink a bottle or a cup and a glass and a half
20:59
of wine at dinner. She didn't see her fucking hiding the wine or the
21:03
alcohol stash. Yeah, I mean other than like she did drink it fast
21:06
for like a glass of wine. But that's like not that unusual. I
21:10
had my like my notes here. The reasons the reason why she drinks are
21:15
like reasonable, Like you know, like she's she's middle aged and has like
21:21
kind of a dead end relationship and you know, it is hard being like
21:25
in the education field, so like, yeah, I think she deserves a
21:27
fucking drink, you know what I mean. It's not that big of a
21:30
deal, and especially if she's in New York. I don't know what part
21:33
of New York, but this is like the you know, early nineties,
21:36
mid nineties right there, So what if it's like an inner city part to
21:37
where it's like really stressful and you have all these keys you care about,
21:41
Like, yeah, if you want to have a drink, have a drink.
21:42
Yeah, I thought too. That scene where um, the mom and
21:47
dad are talking about Julie when they end their conversation, the cut to how
21:52
she just opens the book and starts reading is so weird. I don't know
21:55
if you all that. I mean, she might as well been holding it
21:57
upside down like it was so out of like, especially how fast it went
22:07
it was. Yeah, maybe like people back then read more like we now
22:15
we just go on our Facebook. So like nowadays, if this this episode
22:18
came out, she would just get on her phone. People go like,
22:23
oh, people on their phone all the time. But if you look up
22:25
a picture from like nineteen forty people on the subway. They're all all their
22:27
heads are down just reading the newspaper. Nobody likes. People are just looking
22:30
for some entertainment. And it's creepy if you're like staring at people, right,
22:36
So, yeah, like what made you what? What sort of u
22:41
nu weendow made you give? Like think anal sex? Oh, just because
22:45
the way she goes, oh, we're gonna be doing a lot more.
22:48
And then I really like, what like m try humping? Probably well,
22:55
they were making out very passionately and very hard to open. So if they're
22:59
that open in the middle of the day to make out in front of the
23:02
girlfriend's house, then I think she's looking for some I will say, that's
23:07
what's that, Jeff, Oh, I bet Matt's had sex. M hmmm.
23:12
I don't think. I doubt it, but I will bring this up
23:15
now. Like Ria mentioned that, So Ria grew up um evangelical, um
23:19
Christian, and she's like this show was too risque for us because one they
23:26
would never allow drinking. Uh, and then yeah, the way like Matt
23:29
and them are making out like it was she didn't think it was like a
23:33
great like if it was like really like a Christian show, like none of
23:37
that shit would be happening. So yeah, for sure. Yeah, and
23:41
it was pretty intense making it out. But this is what c W or
23:45
w B. Yeah yeah, but then oh yeah, they have some pretty
23:52
trashy shows, so I guess this. This is pretty tame considering pretty pretty
23:56
tape. So now it's the next day and the family's in the church and
24:02
everybody seems really concerned that Julie's eating a breath mint during the dad's sermon.
24:06
The scene only lasts about forty five seconds, which is weird, and then
24:11
it goes to the house. So now we're at the house. The mom,
24:15
while wearing purple overalls with a purple short shirt, calls Brian, Julie's
24:19
lover, like a bitch. She shouldn't fired her business. But then she
24:26
finds out that Julie and Brian are no longer together and that she was fired
24:30
from her job. As troubling nineties music plays in the background. Now we
24:33
see the worst kid in existence is playing Batman with their dog in the living
24:37
room. This part okay, so he's playing with his dog in the living
24:42
room. Julie Watson tries to get to the stash of booze, but before
24:45
she's able to open the stash, the Sun grabs the key to the booze
24:51
station and refuses to give it back to Julie. Julie starts tickling that awful,
24:55
awful child and then attempt to get that key back. The dog knows
24:59
something's up and acts away, not a very good dog. After some horrible
25:03
laugh acting from this child, Julie, a true supervillain, picks up that
25:07
piece of shit with one hand. Only she picks him up from the shirt.
25:15
It's crazy, and then throws them on the couch and yells, give
25:18
me the key to the liquor cabinet. The dog starts barking, Ruthie is
25:22
yelling and incomes Mom to save the day and kicks Julie out of the house.
25:26
It was kind of scary when she was because the way they're filming it,
25:30
like her face is really close and the dog was backing away, and
25:33
I was like, I know some's gonna go down. I didn't know to
25:36
go down that hard though, Yeah, it's zero to sixty like instantly,
25:42
Um ask her back twice, and then she picked him up and threw them
25:45
on the couch. Yeah, I have my notes to that kid is totally
25:48
hit worthy though. Um, I have a few notes here. Okay,
25:55
so the true seems really weird, Like I would just assume she has like
25:57
eighty d or something like yeah, like they're all looking at her like,
26:03
oh my god, what the hell's wrong with you? Like you just dropped
26:06
your purse, like what the fuck? Yeah? Yeah? And then I
26:10
thought the whole call to Annie's boyfriend was super weird because they up to this
26:15
point, like they make it look like the mom doesn't really know her that
26:18
well, you know, and dad has to like describe what his relate what
26:22
she's like to her, but then she's like goodie, like best friends with
26:25
her boyfriend. Yeah, so that was really fucking weird, mum. And
26:30
then the last note I had is just like if they're leaving the key in
26:33
the liquor cabinet, like why lock it at all? I mean, like
26:38
they obviously trust their kids because they're so good, Like, why do you
26:41
need to lock the liquor cabinet? Yeah, unless maybe they don't want to
26:45
lose the key, but then why I even purchased the liquor cabinet in the
26:48
first ye. Yeah, and then just leave the key in there, like
26:52
so stupid. Yeah, but yeah, that seems wild. Yeah, it
26:56
was kind of scary because her eyes like they're kind of dark underneath, and
27:00
it gets really close and then the kids laughing, and I hate that kid
27:02
anyways, So I was just getting real bad. The only notes I have
27:04
is in the church scene for Julie, who's been drinking little at least for
27:08
a little bit, she needs to be more of a pro and like invest
27:12
in like a flask and like just go to the bathroom and and chug a
27:15
little, like yeah she has that fifth of or she has that plant of
27:19
vodka with her anyways, and just go to the bathroom instead of eating a
27:22
breath mat. Yeah. And then for um, yeah, the mom needs
27:26
to mind her own business and she looks she looks like a second grader that's
27:30
unapologetically picking their nose all the time, Like I did not like her outfit
27:33
at all. Um, and Simon's to not fuck around with the liquor cabinets
27:38
where they wrote because I wrote fuck around and find out like I wonder if
27:45
this kid was universally hated or just that's so great. Um. And then
27:53
oh, and then the mom. I don't know, Like I that must
27:56
have been like an intense situation, but the mom should maybe not just kicked
28:00
her out and be like, hey, what's going on? What happened in
28:03
here? Right? Yeah? Who knows? Maybe that kid tried to eat
28:07
her soul or something. Yeah, or maybe like the kid was like doing
28:10
something and like punching the daughter now and then, uh, you're ever funny
28:15
if she seems to happen. But then the mom grabs a little kid just
28:18
like get the fuck out of here. But yeah, you're right, what
28:22
like the she's so like accusatory and like so quickly and just like that's family,
28:30
and you're just like, yeah, really, get the funk out of
28:32
my house, like especially because the day before when Julie enters the house,
28:36
she's literally jumping for joy, she's so happy. So she just instantly like
28:41
get the fuck out. Yeah. I didn't even think about that, but
28:44
that's a valid point. My speed makes me impossible to catch. Batman is
28:49
the world's greatest athlete. Kids trying to conte the world's greatest something. That's
28:56
nice. I foiled your helens again, Catwoman. Now I return this key
29:03
to the Gotham City Gold depository. I don't think so Batman grab a mouth.
29:08
Think again. You wonder if Man said, now I got you Batman,
29:15
Yeah, let go of the key or suffer the consequences bothie. I
29:21
know Batman's one weakness. What tickling? No, let the key and I'll
29:29
stop it was thank got better? Let good? No, simon, I'm
29:37
not giving that damn kid. Shut and give me a key to the liquor
29:47
cabinets. Get your hand, don't, Oh God, get out of this
29:56
house now. So like and we'll like, we'll we'll talk more about as
30:02
it comes along. But it's so blown out of proportion for like what the
30:04
actual problem is. And then do we know where this takes place? Their
30:07
house is like in Cleveland or something, or California house like the northeast,
30:11
probably like Connecticut or something. Because she's not that bad of a drunk.
30:15
I feel like she got she bought all those gifts, which later on they
30:19
make a joke about that. But um, so she bought all those gifts,
30:22
she flew some mate, possibly across the country, all while drunk.
30:26
But I just let her do her thing. She's doing fine. It takes
30:29
place in californiaa fictional town. So New York to California have to like a
30:33
five hour flight. Maybe it's only six hour flight. It's a pretty long
30:36
flight. And who knows you have a connection. So if you're drinking the
30:38
entire time and you can get from one part of the country to another,
30:41
you're fine. I'm not like a doctor, so don't listen to me if
30:48
you haven't. Well, there's there's two hundred and forty three episodes. Yeah,
30:52
there's a bunch like there. That's our next couple of years of There's
30:57
one where the youngest kid steals a car. Do you want to kind of
31:00
see that? There's I was watching this guy who does like reviews of like
31:04
some of the most unhinged Seventh Heaven episodes, and they all look pretty fun.
31:08
There's one where like Mary steals a glass from like a um like the
31:12
local diner because it and then like Matt takes the fall and gets charged,
31:18
like oh geez, it has to go to trial, like it's so just
31:23
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32:09
Interior nighttime dive bar. Okay, so we have some generic blues music
32:15
playing in the background. We see Julie taking shots and drinking beers while some
32:19
nice gentleman has just given her a neck massage. When the dad walks in,
32:22
the dad confronts Julie and says we need to go. She refuses.
32:27
The guy that she was with stands up for the dad, then threatens the
32:30
man that if he doesn't take his hands off of him, he will feed
32:34
him his own hand. Oh, I'm in trouble now. Time to go
32:39
home, Julie. I don't want to go home. I'll want to stay
32:44
here with It's too bad. Really, Who the hell are you the real's
32:47
oldest boy scout. The lady doesn't want to go keep telling him I'm the
32:52
last person in the world you want to mess with. Right now, I'm
32:54
taking my sister out of here, and if you don't get your hand off
32:59
me, I will feed him to you. Yeah, it was really intense.
33:04
The guy leaves instead of making a scene. The dad then kidnaps Julie
33:07
and she is kicking and screaming while being dragged away, and no one helps
33:12
or even questions that nobody knows who these people are out Either way, we're
33:15
leaving right now. I am not. Now at the house, the family
33:32
minus Julie and the dad are talking about alcoholism. I do think they did
33:37
a pretty good job kind of describing alcoholics a little bit, like you know,
33:39
I just I thought for sure they were gonna make it seem so much
33:44
work, Like I thought they were going to demonize them more. But they
33:45
try to like kind of you know. I don't know, but anyways,
33:49
Jessica Bill fucking hates Julie. She says she doesn't care if she ever sees
33:53
her again, and the little girl starts crying because of their dead grandma.
33:59
Without the little girl, but the second to the little I guess the medium
34:00
glucy middle girl Lucy walks in the dad and Julie and Julie is hammed.
34:07
I want a party with Julie and Munchie because they can get Julie's falling down,
34:13
Her jacket is falling off. This lady is a mess. Julie then
34:16
starts crying because she loves everyone so much. They take her two mats of
34:20
room, and the mom suggests locking her in there. I do want to
34:23
say one thing about this show. Every single actor in this show is one
34:29
committed to their roles. Nobody's phoning it in, even though it's some of
34:31
the craziest shit I've seen. At least they're fucking going for it. So
34:37
we cut to the girl's room and Lucy receives a call from what I can
34:39
only assume is the future winner of every acting award ever. Yeah, Jenny
34:45
Mean is a star. He's a star. Every guy I wrote that that
34:49
kid is okay, I take back when I just said about committing. That
34:52
kid is not committed, right, Hi? Are you crying? Oh,
34:59
it's she's just tellergies. You may want to think about shots. They're painful
35:02
but effective. There's an interesting article and Jimmy, what Oh sorry, my
35:08
stepmother wanted me to call to confirm with you about Thanksgiving. Tell her thanks
35:14
but my aunt's sick and I need to stay home with my family. That's
35:17
too bad, Lucy says, she is canceling her plans. Matt walks in
35:22
and tells the girls they need to cancel their plans. Mary protests and says
35:24
Julie isn't smart, independent, funny, or even nice, and she is
35:28
embarrassed at Julie's part of the family. Matt replies with burn of the century.
35:32
You know what, right now, I'm embarrassed that you're part of the
35:37
family. Now. In the kitchen, the mom asked the dad if she
35:40
can warm anything up for him. Well, he's eating just dry rye bread,
35:45
that's it. And he's just eating dry bread. Oh my gosh,
35:52
I was like, what the fuck. The dad tells the mom he wants
35:53
to have Julie rehab detox at the house, and the mom says fuck no.
35:59
The keeps going back and forth from close ups of the mom's anger face
36:02
and the dad almost crying while holding bread. The mom caves like a little
36:07
bitch, and then the dad sits there with his bread while the mom walks
36:10
away. Well, he is the man of the house, like in that
36:13
Christian relationship like oh true, yeah. And then Julie is sleeping in bed
36:20
when the door opens up. Who can it be? Oh it's that Oh?
36:25
Who car pulls up? Who can it be? Fresh Ucamino, Roland,
36:30
Kilo g easy, Who can it be? Oh, it's the person
36:32
I hate more than anyone else, this kid. So the door opens up
36:37
while Julie sleeping, Who can it be? It's the person I hate more
36:40
than anyone else on this earth. That little kid throws the bag in the
36:45
room while saying we don't want anything from you. Julie looks in the bag
36:47
and sees the gift she gave Ruthie, which I thought it was kind of
36:51
dick. Yeah I didn't know. Yeah, well, I thought it was
36:53
just Ruthie's gift at first. So he keeps his gift and then he's like
37:00
yeah, oh, but then it goes to commercial. Yeah. Uh,
37:05
if any of my kids acted like these kids are, like, I'd be
37:08
so disappointed and so upset with them, like they're acting so bad. Um,
37:14
Okay, I have a lot of notes for this whole segment, so
37:16
I don't know if somebody wants to go first, but you do you all
37:20
right? So the bar scene is bizarre because the dad shows up and he
37:28
thanks the bartender for calling him, right, So, like, one,
37:30
why does the bartender know to call him? Like like he like he doesn't
37:37
know who this he like there's not like an apb out for her or something
37:40
like there's like there's not you know what I mean, Like she's just kicked
37:44
out of the house, so like why would he call him? Also too,
37:46
like she's spending money, so like you think like as a bartender,
37:51
he would be like this, I'm not gonna stop this. But yeah,
37:54
like why would as an adult woman being dragged out of a bar screaming like
37:59
not known he would stop? That's she's like saying let me go, I
38:01
don't want to go with you saying everything you're supposed to say if you're getting
38:05
abductive. Yeah, nobody cares. I have questions about Jimmy um and I
38:10
really would, so Jeff, maybe you can explain, like, um one,
38:15
Lucy could do better, but too, like who what's this kid's deal?
38:20
Like is he? I really don't want to say anything awful, but
38:23
like, this kid doesn't seem normal? So do you know what his his
38:29
background? Like he's like a cool kid at school. You're he's like he's
38:32
like the dream boat. What you're fucking with me? Right? No?
38:37
No, she's dating and Jimmy Moon and like you know how you give like
38:40
the dream boat of the school like that you use their full name, like
38:44
that's Jimmy Moon. That kid, you know, like has no friends,
38:47
like right, there's no way, and the way he delivered his lines and
38:52
everything like that kid can't be normal. I don't know if if if Lucy
38:58
can get much much better, Like like she's she's Lucy all right? I
39:04
think she was older than no sound stupid than Jessica Bille, but doesn't make
39:13
any sense. She I just can't stand the way and then it's not her
39:15
fault way she looks, but I just can't stand her. But uh,
39:19
yeah, I thought that the dragging out of the bar thing was pretty intense,
39:22
and I thought that the the pastor dad brother guy he really was.
39:28
That was risky for him to threaten that guy. Yeah, yeah, like
39:31
that could have escalated tremendously, very quickly. So he really did not diffuse
39:37
the situation at all. That Lucy is older than Jessica Bile by a year.
39:40
Oh really, that's fucking crazy, right, they don't. It's it
39:44
looks like too like complete, Yeah, that's crazy. I feel like Jessica
39:47
Bill looks like she's had plastics. She hasn't the head to be agwad for
39:52
the actress playing Lucy though, right, Yeah, Like you're playing like like
39:57
a child, Like you're basically an adult and you're dressed like a twelve year
40:00
old and then you have to play that role. That's strange. Well,
40:04
Angela from Boy Meets World is ten years older than Sean, so during she
40:07
was like twenty six twenty seven during when she was playing high schooler. I
40:10
like that. I've been following the Boy Meets podcast or whatever. It's one
40:15
of my favorite podcasts. They do a great job. Those three are really
40:19
including Angela in a lot of their shenanigans lately. Well, they've had like
40:24
just special guests on there. I guess there was this family. They jokingly
40:28
called them the Stoker family, but they went to every record, every episode
40:30
recording, and they were like friends, Like they have like signatures, they
40:34
have pictures, so it's just kind of funny. But they just had them
40:36
on. Um. They talked about Cheap Trick in a few episodes, which
40:38
is cool because Rick Nielsen was on an episode. I love that podcast.
40:43
I look forward to that podcast every weekend. And we have talked about how
40:45
the Redhead woman from that show now dos porn? We have they haven't,
40:49
they haven't they talk about it because I wonder if it's a lot of gang
40:52
bang, Like she's into it and I'm not disinsects workers like it's a legitimate
40:58
job. Yeah, but she's like game bang is like her jam and that's
41:01
cool. Yeah. Her name's like Matt Teo or something like that. I
41:06
can't remember, Matt Warland or something like that, Umtland. In the in
41:13
that scene where Matt and Mary are arguing, UM, I've already showed you
41:16
guys this, but for people listening, if you're gonna watch this episode,
41:21
like pause this scene because Matt's left nostril is unusually large, like, yeah,
41:29
his right nostrils like normal, and then his left one is like massively
41:32
huge, Like, I it's so strange. I didn't notice on any other
41:37
scene than that. Yeah, if it's just like a camera angle or something,
41:39
but yeah, like did he have a bloody nose before the scene started
41:43
and he had like stuck some toilet paper up there, Like It's just it's
41:45
just strange to me, Like it's so noticeable that, Yeah, it looks
41:49
comical, looks like a yeah, it looks like CGI nose or something.
41:52
Yeah, yeah, no, it does look like I just googled pictures of
41:55
him. It does look like one of his nostrils is kind of bigger than
41:59
the other, maybe just sending on the angs. Yeah, and then I
42:02
had Mary is just so fucking childish Jessicabile. Yeah, yeah, outrageous.
42:09
She wasn't even there. She doesn't know what happened for her to be this
42:13
angry without knowing all the facts, Like it's just crazy. Yeah, and
42:15
she doesn't she doesn't care about Simon, that's true. Oh you know what's
42:20
funny? Um exterior daytime girlfriend house. A car pulls up, Who can
42:23
it be a fresh Alcmuno, Roland Kilo g I wrote that in my notes
42:28
through that I thought of it twice. H Matt and his girlfriend are arguing
42:31
about not going on the trip. She is pissed they aren't going to be
42:35
able to hump and seen. She says, now he's sorry, yeah,
42:38
And the way she says that, she's like yeah, I was like,
42:40
man, like I'm gonna go fuck someone else then for sure. Yeah.
42:45
Now we see Julie and the parents, and Julius pleading with the data let
42:49
her go. The dad refuses. So as of right now, the dad
42:52
has committed kidnapping, which is seven point five years in prison, and falls
42:55
imprisonment, which is up to ten years in prison. So Jessica Bill is
43:00
mad that the aunt is in the house and Lucy almost starts crying again about
43:05
the dead grandma. So the mom said she can cook with her, probably
43:08
just so she'll shut up. Matt goes up to the room Julia is in
43:12
and tells the dad he can take a break. I have a bad feeling,
43:15
I wrote, Julia is gonna do some manipulating. Julie talks to Matt
43:20
and tries to get him to get her a beard Julie goes off on Matt
43:22
and calls him a spineless little brat and that she hates him and will never
43:27
forgive him. For this, Matt presumably gets tired and sits down on the
43:30
other side of the doors. I'm exhausted. He just shuts the door and
43:39
sits down and relax. I mean, I know he's doing essially want to
43:44
leave, but I wish it was because he was tired. And then it
43:46
goes to commercial again. So, Jeff, in the first nine episode,
43:51
do they talk about the Grandma? Is she in any of the episodes?
43:53
Yeah? Oh, she actually is in them. Yeah, that's interesting that
43:57
soon in the season, like a family death. That's a that's not very
44:00
common in sitcoms. Yeah, for sure, they like growing up. I
44:05
thought that Lucy and not Lucy, Mary and Matt were older because they were
44:10
older compared to me at that age when I was watching the show. But
44:13
now I'm probably older than the parents in this right now, I don't know
44:16
about that, but I know you are older than the Ruthie. I'm definitely
44:21
older than Matt still looks really old to me. I feel like he looks
44:24
older than I do right now. I could Yeah, I could see that
44:28
you look but you look quite youthful. Somebody as getting a drink and they
44:30
go, I thought you were twenty seven, And I was like, that's
44:32
probably for a tip, but it worked, yeah, because I was like,
44:36
here is a bigger tip than I wouldn't really to give. I found
44:37
it interesting that at this point in the episode, and like throughout the entire
44:42
episode, like I think it's just bad writing probably, but like they do
44:46
know, like you mentioned, they do an okay job talking about what alcoholism
44:50
is and like why it's hard to um to get over it. Two things,
44:55
one like why is the mom all of a sudden sympathetic in that very
44:59
one scene, but the the remaining scene she's such a fucking cunt. But
45:04
like but then also too, they never once explained to the kids like why
45:07
Julie drinks like her boyfriend left her, like she has she got fired from
45:13
her job, like those are all reasonable like reasons why somebody could fall into
45:17
alcoholism, and also like garner sympathy from your family, But they just let
45:22
the kids act like fucking dicks um and make up make all these assumptions about
45:30
Julie, Like it's really shitty mm hmmm. Yeah. They don't really teach
45:34
them how to help someone. They just say like, hey, this is
45:37
what's going on. Like the moral like probably should be like you know,
45:40
show show compassion to those who are like you don't know people's struggles and those
45:44
kind of things, but they just they just demonize Julie so badly throughout like
45:49
the whole episode. It's just so ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, I didn't
45:54
even think about that switched from the mom. That's hilarious. Yeah, like
45:57
there's just one yeah exactly, and then like yeah, and then there's like
46:02
even like after that scene the dad brings the Julie there and she's like I
46:07
don't want her in the house and you're my kids, and you know,
46:08
like I don't understand this character of the mother, like how where she goes,
46:14
And it's just strange writing. You can just kind of picture like the
46:17
like the wife of a pastor is probably gonna send me to hell, but
46:22
the wife of a pastor has that kind of like narcissistic that's like her job,
46:27
yeah, you know, of the first lady. There's no like job
46:30
requirements. Yeah. Um, but also like obviously like my mom's pretty awesome,
46:36
but my mom sidebar. My mom just messaged me and just was like
46:38
heavy pride, and she sent me a picture of a rainbow that like it
46:42
like she has her sprinklers going on in her backyard. There's like a rainbow
46:45
and she's like thinking it's because of pride. I think that's cute. Yeah,
46:50
oh, I love my mom for my gender. Like, um,
46:54
a couple of weeks ago and she said there's a serial killer out there and
46:58
there he's killing women in their twenties and thirties. Please be careful. I'm
47:01
like, okay for those who don't know me, like I don't really pass
47:05
as a woman even though identify like sort of fam And I was just like,
47:07
okay, mom, that's really sweet, thank you. And then it
47:13
made me think like if a serial killer killed me, like because they kill
47:16
women, and be like, wait, you actually think I'm a woman,
47:19
Like, oh my god, that would be a good standout. That's funny.
47:27
Um, all right, so now we go, oh okay, okay,
47:30
yeah, so we now go to the room of the epitome of hatred.
47:36
Yeah, I hate that kid. The awful kid is showing Ruthie some
47:38
whack ass turkey drawing with his hands She's not impressed and asked for a datas
47:43
are drawing. He gets mad because he knows Ruthie's criticism is of him is
47:49
valid and understands that one day he will be in Julie's shoes a loser.
47:52
Alcohol. He's getting an ulcer. He says. They decided to get their
48:00
parents. Oh my gosh, they decided to get their presence back from Julie.
48:04
We cut to Julie having serious withdrawals and hallucinating. She also said,
48:07
please don't give up on her. I have a feeling. Once Jessica Bile
48:10
accepts Julie, everything will be fine. Yeah. We cut to the kitchen
48:25
where all the kids are cooking. They talk about the grandma dying and that
48:29
God decided decides when someone dies. The parents come down and are astonished with
48:34
how great the kids are and reaffirms their decisions to let the kids leave on
48:37
Thanksgiving. The kids decide to stay in an act of solidarity. The little
48:43
kid I hate for no reason decided to verbally assault the parents with us,
48:47
so get out of here, your blubbering knuckleheads. The parents leave in fear
48:51
that they might beat that kid to death. As the dad walks out.
48:53
He takes one less like at that little piece of shit and shakes his head.
48:57
No, Matt tells Jennifer. Matt tells Jennifer Bale to lighten up.
49:01
Jennifer Bale, what is it, Jessica Bale? That's she's a nobody.
49:08
Like her claim to fame now is that she's married to Justin Timber. It
49:13
was really good, so she was in a sort series candy, but didn't
49:17
Elizabeth wors Olsen redo that serious. They were made at like the exact same
49:22
time. It's super strange. That is weird. So Matt tells Jessica Biale
49:27
to lighten up and that she is entitled to her own feelings. Oh,
49:30
she says, I'm entitled to my own feelings. Good for her. We
49:35
cut to Julie calling a rehab center and telling them she's sneaky, yet better
49:39
be good because I'm sneaky. Sneaky Jessica Biale is hiding behind her for some
49:45
reason, and then offers to put to put makeup on her. We are
49:50
now in the living room when the parents walk in on a horrible Thanksgiving dinner.
49:53
It's not hard to cook at turkey, so I decided here here's how
49:57
you cook at turkey. Everybody, preheat oven to three twenty five, pull
50:01
the neck and giblets out of the cavity. Drive the turkey of paper towels.
50:05
Then season inside and out with whatever season you like. Last year for
50:08
Christmas, I did a Jamaican rub on the turkey and it was really good.
50:13
Yeah. Fill the turkey with stuffing like or with stuff like chopped onions,
50:16
carrots, apples, or whatever you want. Placed breast site up in
50:22
a roasting pan and brush with melted butter tenth to foil and roast for two
50:25
hours. This is for a ten to twelve pound turkey, so you want
50:29
to add about fifteen minutes per pound for bigger turkeys. Remove the foil based
50:35
with more melted butter, and crank the oven to four to twenty five for
50:37
the last hour, or until the meat at the thigh registers one hundred and
50:43
sixty five degrees. So the parents ask where Jessico Bile and Matt are for
50:49
some reason, Oh, where Jessica Biele is and Matt for some reason lies
50:52
to the parents and says, no, I think she had something to take
50:54
care of. Let's give her a minute to add for dramatic reveal. Yeah,
51:00
well, well, well here comes Julie and Jessica Bill. So Julie
51:05
for some reason looks like a doll from the eighteen hundreds. Jessica Bill,
51:07
I think did this as a prank because looks real rough. Oh oh okay,
51:15
this is my favorite part. This happy laughing so hard. So when
51:16
Julie walks in, it shows like the little girl going like, hey,
51:21
you're here, and then it shows that a horrible, awful kid. He
51:23
gets really scared. He's like but then it goes to everybody else like being
51:28
happy and accepting. I wish so much the episode just ended there with unresolved
51:34
child drama. Oh my gosh, so I wrote let me see. So
51:43
when Julie walks in, that piece of shit backs up in fear, everyone
51:45
else is really happy. I wish this is where the show ended, just
51:49
unresolved fear for that little kid and everyone else just dismissing it. Julie tells
51:53
future Hitler that everything every time she drinks, she will think about God damn
52:00
it. Julie tells future Hitler that every time she has to drink, she
52:06
will think about It's not that funny. She will think about hurting her nephew.
52:14
Oh my gosh, which I totally understand. The mom gives a speech
52:17
with her eyes closed about her mom dying. Some people might call it a
52:21
prayer. The end the episode with a joke about Julie's alcoholism. Everyone laughs,
52:28
you guys don't have to wear these sweaters. When I bought them,
52:32
I was drunk. Well, that explains. And then they all probably get
52:40
you coli from that turkey that they probably undercooked. And just to reiterate everybody,
52:45
it's very important to make sure your meat is that one hundred and sixty
52:47
five internally, and don't leave the turkey out for too long after everyone is
52:52
done eating, put it away. Here are some symptoms of severe coli stomach
52:59
cramps, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Yeah, I don't think you
53:02
can get it. Was the episode. I think it's salmonella. It was
53:06
salmona. Was it equal live when you drink pea or something? No,
53:09
I don't think so. But that's but yeah, they made they made a
53:16
joke about her alcoholism. At the end, she does, I don't worry
53:20
about this presence. I was drunk or I was drinking A bottom that goes
53:23
yeah, that figures. Oh my god, holy sh I felt like the
53:29
like the dad pastor guy, the brother being in the room with her twenty
53:35
four seven was a little excessive. Yeah, because I do like when I
53:38
was used to drink heavily and I would be nursing to hangover, I would
53:43
do like disgusting shit the next day, like just just farting, like diarrhea.
53:49
Yeah. So just I thought that was bizarre that he had to be
53:52
there all the time. Um, And then I thought that the makeover thing,
53:55
like, I don't it's not a Kate Hudson movie, like, and
53:58
she looked like a dump truck. Yeah. Yeah, her her look looks
54:02
weren't a part of the issue. She was fine. Yeah, yeah,
54:07
she's Oh my god, So I don't like. I guess the makeover quote
54:12
unquote solved everything. So I had to look this up, and I find
54:19
this the most ridiculous part of this episode. So during the scene where she
54:22
wakes up and she's like having that outrageous fit, he holds her down.
54:28
He says, you're having the DTS. And so the DTS are called delirium
54:31
tremens, and only five percent of people who are going through detox experience it,
54:37
so the like there's almost zero percent, like there's almost zero chance that
54:42
she would even experience this and then even less hallucinate. So yeah, that's
54:46
crazy. It's just it just shows how like how much they blew out the
54:51
proportion what alcoholism is like for this episode, and I just I just was
54:57
like, I just found it kind of egregious. Yeah, and because it's
55:00
like, well, if you if you do want to help people with alcoholism,
55:04
remember that whole Dare thing in the nineties. How bad it backfired because
55:07
people are like, oh, well it's not that bad, so you know,
55:08
and then they're just lyned them try to be truthful. I don't know.
55:10
Yeah, I did find a review one out of ten was she an
55:14
alcoholic or addicted to crack? This episode was decent at first. Then I
55:17
went completely off the rails with the whole detoxing thing part, the rats,
55:22
the rats please, alcohol poisoning. Oh, this is my favorite part.
55:27
Alcohol poisoning don't give hallucinations like heavy drugs do. The network clearly refused to
55:34
address that, so writers settled for alcoholism, but it made the whole thing
55:37
look ridiculous. I just like the alcohol poisoning don't give hallucination. It's also
55:42
not alcohol poisoning, like completely different thing. Okay, this person is clearly
55:47
in the medical field somehow. Okay, So I just wanted to. I
55:52
just looked up effects of drinking durineau. You can't get equal I from it.
55:58
Good. But although you're in contains antibodies, it can it can contain
56:02
bacteria. A study involving one hundred children bound that the bacteria can lead to
56:10
kinney h stressing your kid. So there's a study where they made one hundred
56:15
children drinking urine. Why for kidney? Yeah, called the doctor called the
56:22
Cossa or whatever university study it would do that, and then and then all
56:28
this says on the world Wide Web. If you find out, if you
56:30
find your child, if you find your child jesting your ine, do not
56:34
panic. Wipe their mouth out with a soft wet cloth and give them some
56:37
water to drink. Is that a thing? The kids drink their own pea?
56:40
I don't know, do they? I didn't Ali. Have you ever
56:44
drink your own peak I have not, But you know, kids eat boogers
56:46
and lead their own boogers and shit, So I mean it's not that Okay,
56:51
I've always thought that like drinking your on your own was finding because of
56:52
the water world, because that's what he does, like the Kevin. Um,
57:00
I do have one one last note, and this is just me being
57:02
like, um weird about editing and stuff. So um at the end,
57:07
when they're passing around all the food, you know, and like Dad makes
57:12
that cheesy joke like let's identify the food and then eat it. But in
57:15
that scene, Matt holds up the burnt rolls to Mom and she grabs one,
57:21
and then they immediately cut to this like bird's eye view of like the
57:23
whole family, and he again hands her the roles. So it's just like
57:29
bad editing, you know that. I just thought it was interesting. Well,
57:32
Ali, you and I haven't seen the first nine episodes. What if
57:36
there's episodes with the mom like really loves bread? Yeah, yeah it's actually
57:40
cannon. Yeah what did I know? Rio watched it? What did she
57:45
think? Um? Yeah, she thought similar to what we have, Like
57:50
it was really blown out of proportion. Everyone was acting like completely ridiculous.
57:54
And then just her biggest observation was just like this is like too risque for
57:58
Christian yours, Like this is not a rack accurate, just you know,
58:02
depiction. I thought I thought Ruthie's reaction was pretty fine. Like I don't
58:10
think she over was. I don't know she was aware was going on.
58:15
Yeah. I mean also that like the way they have Ruthie like read her
58:21
lines and stuff like it, like it she like cuts to Jess Ruthie so
58:24
like they I don't think she ever interacts with any of the actors really,
58:29
like you know what I mean, Like they're like, all right, say
58:30
this line, you know, Like so I don't know that they could really
58:34
do much regarding Ruthie. Another famous actor that shows up later in this series
58:40
Hailey Duff don't know, oh duff sister. Yeah, yeah, interesting she
58:46
plays She plays the little Hitler's girlfriend. Yeah that kids, this this show
58:53
is a is a Hitler origin story. I could see it. Yeah,
58:57
yeah, I don't know. It would have been cool if like Julie just
59:00
came to town and she was like Hella fun because like she gave them cool
59:06
gifts. She gave him like Celo nickname. She would ra RaSE them a
59:08
little bit like I don't know about you guys, but like when I drank,
59:13
I'm so much nicer and I'm so much friendlier. I'm open. Yeah,
59:17
I'm like such a fun drunk. Yeah yeah, but there is a
59:21
difference between there's a difference between getting drunk occasionally and actual alcoholism. True.
59:27
True, it was a choke alley. Okay, I know Jeff seen seeing
59:31
it, but Andy like outside of us, like demanding another episode review,
59:37
would you watch it again? You know, just for how campy and bad
59:43
it is? If I was like, okay, like, let's say I
59:45
smoke a little herb, right, I'm just like, I don't know,
59:47
flipping through channels doing something. If it came on about maybe I would maybe
59:52
I wouldn't turn it. Yeah, yeah, okay, but I don't think
59:54
I would go out of my way to ever watch another episode unless we were
59:57
going to review it. Yeah, yeah about you ally, Yeah, I
1:00:00
don't. I think I'd want to just find like the worst of the worst,
1:00:04
like ones that are outrageous like this, and then yeah, I review
1:00:07
it on the show because I don't. I don't really have they're all pretty
1:00:10
because there's always like a theme like this. Yeah, so there's there any
1:00:15
episode it's going to be pretty gold. But once I smoked the last like
1:00:20
fifteen minutes, twenty minutes of the episode way better. It was so funny.
1:00:23
I was I was crying laughing when I thought of the kid just going
1:00:28
and everybody's like, Julie, you're back, and then it just ends because
1:00:31
then that kid, we would know for the entire series has some unresolved like
1:00:36
deep trauma table and then like they end with like Julie liked, like definitely
1:00:44
stairs a good simon the family, like enjoying things right, the mom's eating
1:00:49
just a ton of bread. Yeah, but it was fun. It was
1:00:55
weird. I didn't hate it as much as I hate it something this podcast.
1:01:00
Yea, there's some really what Ali I was agreeing with Andy like it
1:01:05
didn't like it wasn't something so terrible that I was like kind of angry,
1:01:09
Like I was just like, yeah, this is kind of dumb, but
1:01:12
whatever, you know. Yeah, there are some like really cute storylines like,
1:01:15
uh, Matt dates a woman who's who's death and it's just really sweet
1:01:21
and he like it's there's some really cute parts of the show. Like it's
1:01:24
like I feel gross watching it because I know the dad's a pervert. Yeah
1:01:29
yeah, so you know, like around this time is when he was perving
1:01:30
out oh, it did feel like like a nineties sitcom though, like you
1:01:34
know, like it's not a far cry from like Step by Step, you
1:01:37
know that kind of stuff. Speaking of I was like, yeah, it
1:01:45
was, so I might cut this out of this. So I went to
1:01:46
the Ballet this last weekend and I was like, yeah, this is a
1:01:51
really cool theater. It's like a hundred years old, like Vaudeville used to
1:01:53
come here. And I was like, there's a chance that Helen Kellor was
1:01:55
up here. And I was like, and he know's crazy. I don't
1:01:59
even hate Helen Keller in more and my daughter looks, she goes, wait,
1:02:01
why did you bet? And I was like, I don't want to
1:02:05
get it. She's been she's been to this area. Well, she was
1:02:07
on Vaudeville for a while, so before they had like it was like a
1:02:12
traveling show of no, no, it's like a comedy, violence, just
1:02:17
anything entertainment. But I don't know if she was actually at this one,
1:02:22
but they did have Vaudeville shows at the Elsinores. So you had to explain
1:02:24
to your daughter why you hate Helen Keller. Yeah, well then I told
1:02:28
her. Then I was like, well, I don't hate Helen Keller.
1:02:30
You just think I just think she's a fraud, Like I don't like that's
1:02:32
what it is. Or it's like somebody who applies for a job but like
1:02:36
really embellishes their resume. Like she was not born deaf and blind. I
1:02:39
feel she was. She was born on third base. Yeah, yeah,
1:02:44
she's an entitled No, I I support she's still alive. I don't even
1:02:51
know. Yeah, she's my next one neighbor. Wait when did Helen Kelor
1:02:54
die algy No, No, I'm gonna guess nineteen fifty four. And again
1:03:00
I'm I feel like I have Oh wow, Um, I just google her.
1:03:07
Um, I feel like I can make fun of her because we have
1:03:08
the same last name. Oh no, she she's been dead a while,
1:03:12
since the nineteen sixty eight. I was pretty I was gonna say sixteth of.
1:03:15
That was way too late, damn it. Oh, she has a
1:03:16
birthday coming up. She was born on June twenty ninth or twenty seven,
1:03:22
she was she died on June first, though, that's crazy. Her IQ
1:03:25
was one sixty. Yeah, I bet what she famous for. Oh and
1:03:30
I'm feeling like an asshole. So no, I we we are if Helen
1:03:35
Keller, if you're listening, we love you. Yeah, we love you.
1:03:37
Know now we let's bury the hatchet. We have no more ill will
1:03:40
towards Helen Keller. Well, so I will to go back to like Jeff's
1:03:47
point of um, if it feels like weird not in Helen a great uh,
1:03:54
Like it feels weird to watch this because of the dad. It is
1:03:58
interesting that he was playing like a pastor and then he's actually abuse people.
1:04:02
He did a sit down interview with Katie Kuric, like he's a real method
1:04:08
actor, is what I was gonna say. Yeah, but you don't you
1:04:13
you don't nice, you don't like if you're guilty, you don't get on
1:04:17
the on the witness stand, Like why would you sit down with Katie Kurk
1:04:21
who's amazing, amazing, not just because she has amazing legs, but she's
1:04:26
amazing and and oh he's so gross. Yeah I don't. I know.
1:04:30
I knew that there is something about like not just because I watched this,
1:04:32
but I've heard something because you know, people are like, oh the deferent
1:04:35
someone haven't I didn't know anything, Like I haven't looked at anything. I
1:04:38
have no idea. What if there's any like show that you like, Like,
1:04:41
let's show you like Frasier, Like, just assume that one of them
1:04:45
is daddling people, yeah, or racist or something? Yeah, think God
1:04:55
Rose Hand's like, I yeah, joking, didn't don't? Um No,
1:05:00
what are your what are your two thoughts about the rumor about Bill Murray dating
1:05:03
police. I just saw that today. I was like, this can't be
1:05:08
real. Ah, yeah, I don't know. I more power to him,
1:05:12
I guess. Oh, I don't know her Asian musicians. Yeah,
1:05:15
she's rapper. My milk shape brings up the bullish. I thought that was
1:05:20
NASA's wife. Yeah, they used to be married. What Yeah, she
1:05:24
went from Nasa to Bill Murray. Yeah, oh shit. Nasa. I
1:05:28
think is one of the best lyricists of all time. I wouldn't say it's
1:05:30
one of my favorite rappers, but lyric wise, he's incredible. I think
1:05:32
he's up there and also someone who's underappreciated. In my opinion, l cool
1:05:36
Jay just gonna say that, um and wants to not his face. But
1:05:41
uh, but I think Bill Murray is iconic, even though I think he
1:05:44
personally and I know this isn't a popular opinion here, I do think he's
1:05:47
overrated. What do you think. I know Ali's against that. I don't
1:05:54
have a problem with him. I loved him in Space Jam. But but
1:05:57
I just think he's overrated. But I can see why she would go after
1:06:00
him. Yeah, or funny, probably really wealthy and yeah, and she's
1:06:02
fucking hot. Yeah, and he's like cool, you know, like it
1:06:05
doesn't matter how old he's like, he's just a cool person. Like if
1:06:08
you know Bill Murray, probably pretty cool too. There's rumors on not tlc
1:06:13
uh TMZ about some of like kind of not derogatory names that she's called him
1:06:17
and other older men but like use kleenexes or used It's all rumors you used
1:06:25
ear what are those things called the tips? Q tips? Like a used
1:06:29
Q tip. She's calling him that, Like, oh, I think she's
1:06:30
called older men use Q tips or something like that before. I barely read
1:06:34
it when I was taking a dump. But uh but yeah, so I
1:06:38
don't know, teach their own Yeah, like I like, good for them.
1:06:42
I suppose, I just don't think he's that talented. Well, Alpaccino
1:06:45
is having a kid at eighty four. Yeah, we were just talking about
1:06:47
DeNiro having a kid. Yeah, who would you rather Alpaccino or Robert de
1:06:53
Niro DeNiro, he's cooler. Ali, how about you Um? Have a
1:06:57
kid with UM? I don't really know like either their music or have sex
1:07:00
with Well, I'm gonna go sex because neither one of them make music.
1:07:06
Wait, what are we asking? I don't really know what. I don't
1:07:12
know either, all right, Okay, anyways, that's all I got,
1:07:18
So seventh Heaven, I give it au. Oh, I guess since we're
1:07:21
kind of Aaron the Closet here, Aaron the Openings. So Ali, A
1:07:26
long time ago, we had an episode that's what I did trivia, and
1:07:30
I said, one of your questions you got it wrong. You actually got
1:07:32
it right. It was Rocky. It was Halt Cogan's name. Oh the
1:07:38
thunder left in the Rocky movie. Yeah, whatever you said was right,
1:07:41
and I said it was wrong. So sorry. Oh. One other thing
1:07:45
I was wanting to ask Andy on the podcast is what are your feelings about
1:07:47
oceans? Oh? Okay, I get it. I get it. They're
1:07:53
important for humanity. Right, Yeah, let's nuke the oceans. I think
1:07:57
everything in the ocean. I fucking they grossed me out. Have you looked
1:08:00
at a fish? Look at that thing and tell me it's not the worst
1:08:04
thing you're seeing in your life. You're not interested in that now. I
1:08:08
like being on the ocean, but I don't. I don't want to be
1:08:10
in the ocean. Yeah, especially the further you go down, the worst
1:08:13
it gets. And it's so undiscovered too. Yeah, there's probably even grosser
1:08:16
things that we don't know, like octopus or squidg just went up on shore
1:08:20
somewhere in Oregon and it's all over my fucking work computer. I'm like,
1:08:25
oh, I don't want to see that ship gross disgusting. I understand how
1:08:30
important it is, but if we take out the fish, I'm willing to
1:08:34
kamakazi all of humanity to take out all the fish. Why is the ocean
1:08:38
so important? It's we were most of our oxygen. Really, I thought
1:08:42
oxygen came from trees. It does also there. Um yeah, huh,
1:08:51
why are we talking about the ocean? Like, I don't know, we're
1:09:00
so bad? You have told you see Alie, I just said, sometimes
1:09:05
our ship goes off the rails, like so bad? I know. I
1:09:10
just like to see or can you see ali right now? Yeah? What
1:09:13
are they doing? Well, that's all I have about seventh Heaven. Before
1:09:19
we end this episode, Ali, do you have anything to promote? Uh?
1:09:24
Yeah, two things. Um. One, if you want to see
1:09:28
if follow me along with my stand up or voice videos, I'm on any
1:09:33
platform at user name Ali j is gay. And then if for some reason
1:09:41
you're one of our listeners in the Portland area. On July thirteenth, it's
1:09:46
a Thursday, I'll be performing at Tale Tale, which is a storytelling event.
1:09:54
Oh that's exciting. Yeah. Um, it is a ticket at event,
1:09:58
so you need to buy tickets, but you can out tell Tale PDX
1:10:01
on social media and you can buy tickets there. And uh, I don't
1:10:04
know the theme yet, but each one is a different theme and that's what
1:10:09
the stories are supposed to be about. So today read the tell Tale Heart
1:10:15
from a Girl and Poe. Oh so that's crazy. So Ali, is
1:10:18
this is it like a you're writing a story or is it like personal stories
1:10:21
like fiction or nonfiction? Personal story storytelling? So things you know experience.
1:10:28
I love that. Yeah, I've never done anything like it before. I'm
1:10:30
a little nervous, but um, I'm sure I'll do fine. I bet
1:10:34
you will. Yeah, And I think it's great. That's awesome. That
1:10:38
says pretty cool, Jeff. What about you anything to promote? No,
1:10:42
Um, Jeff. If you're listening in future, Jeff, drinkled more water
1:10:45
because you've been severely dehydrated lately, not as dehydrated as Aunt Julie probably is.
1:10:51
Yeah. Um. And then make sure to eat yogurt in moderation because
1:10:56
you've been eating yogurt too much, and even though it's a probiotic, there's
1:11:00
a lot of sugar in it. So just moderation. And then just I
1:11:03
hope you have a good day, Jeff, Future Jeff or present Jeff.
1:11:05
I when you're listening to this and I'm past, Jeff, I have a
1:11:09
message, Jeff. What is it? Uture? Jeff. If you're thinking
1:11:12
about smoking, think about hitting Simon instead. Every time I smoke, I'll
1:11:17
think about hitting Simon. Yeah. Every time Julie drinks, she thinks about
1:11:20
hurting her nephew. So she's not gonna quit drinking. See she's I think
1:11:25
she said it in front of the family to make it seem like that's going
1:11:29
to be here deterrent. But I think she really meant to the little kid
1:11:32
to know, like, hey, motherfucker every time an Yeah, and then
1:11:41
I like Balls as a sports podcast I do with my friend Ryan and my
1:11:45
other friend josh Um. They know a lot about sports. I don't know
1:11:47
a lot about sports, so we just kind of have fun. So listen
1:11:50
to that podcast and then also check out the Averagers. The next episode might
1:11:56
be my favorite one. That's where you meet the person who like owns the
1:12:00
Averagers and then you also meet the owner's security guards and it's maybe my favorite
1:12:06
character of Omarger. Well until next time. Notable Nostalgia Nerds. I'm Andy
1:12:13
Camden, I'm Jeff, I'm Slopes. Ali calls them slopes Camden right,
1:12:23
and that I don't really yeah, okay, I don't know if that was
1:12:30
like. Notable Nostalgia is a production of Big Door Prize Media. You can
1:12:38
find us links to our social pages and other podcasts on the network at Bigdoorprize
1:12:44
dot com slash podcasts. This podcast is produced by me Ali and edited by
1:12:48
both myself and Andy. Our logo was created by Aaron Uphawk of ugly hawk
1:12:53
dot com. If you can care with a friend or leave us reviews so
1:12:56
more folks can find us. Thanks for listening. M Big Doom, Big
1:13:04
Don't Big, Don't Prize Medie