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Living Without Fear - Healing Old Stories of Unworthiness | With Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

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  Welcome back, my dear friend, to the 127th episode of Living
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  Without Fear. I'm Esther Berkey, your host
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  from Switzerland, and I'm so grateful that you're here with
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  me today, listening with an open heart.
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  You know, I always want to share with you my most personal
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  stories, the ones that don't always look shiny on the surface
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  but carry within them the deepest lessons.
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  Because I truly believe that when we open up about our own
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  struggles, we give others permission to be real too.
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  So today I want to take you with me into an experience I had just
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  a week ago at the Tony Robbins event in Cologne called Unleash
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  the Power Within. I wasn't there as a participant.
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  I was serving as a crew member together with about 500
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  incredible people from all over the world.
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  Together we supported more than 12,000 participants from 54
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  different countries. Can you imagine the energy of
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  such an arena? The excitement, the nerves, the
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  breakthroughs, the tears, the laughter.
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  It was electric. My wonderful body, Gladys Global
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  and I had the task of taking care of a very specific area,
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  making sure that only the right people entered the levels where
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  the VIP boxes were located. It might sound simple, but in a
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  crowd of thousands, with people moving everywhere, it required
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  focus, presence, and a lot of heart.
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  And then something happened that at first seemed small, just a
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  little unpleasant interaction. But it's turned into a huge
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  mirror for me. It shook me, it hurt me, and
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  ultimately it freed me. On the very first day, there was
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  a lady from the catering company who worked in our area taking
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  care of coffee and refreshments for the VIP guests.
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  Right away she came to us and told us in a rather unfriendly
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  tone that we needed to be more attentive.
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  She said too many people were slipping through from other
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  levels, sneaking into the VIP space to ask her for a quick
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  coffee instead of queuing downstairs.
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  Her words were sharp, her tone dismissive, and though I felt
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  the sting, I brushed it aside and thought, OK, maybe she's
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  stressed. Maybe she just wants to do her
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  job well. The next day, however, things
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  escalated. Gladys and I were talking to a
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  participant, a woman who was almost in tears.
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  She wasn't feeling well, she was overwhelmed and we wanted to
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  support her. At that moment, someone walked
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  past us who wasn't supposed to be on that level.
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  I noticed it, of course, but I made the choice.
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  I didn't want to interrupt my conversation with this
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  vulnerable participant just to play the police.
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  My heart told me stay present with her, serve her in this
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  moment. But shortly after, the catering
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  lady stormed up to us in German. She scolded me harshly, saying
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  we weren't doing our job. She couldn't understand why we
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  would waste time with one participant instead of guarding
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  the door. Her words cut like a knife, and
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  then she added, almost like a threat.
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  I will report this to my boss. A few minutes later, she
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  returned with her boss at her side, and her boss, instead of
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  listening, also scolded me. She told me that she too would
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  report me to my boss, accusing me of not doing my job well.
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  In that moment, my whole body went into shock.
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  I could feel tears welling up, but I tried to hold them back.
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  Their words, their tone, their judgement, it all hit me in a
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  place much deeper than that moment.
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  It's triggered an old story, A painful story.
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  You see, in the past, in several companies I worked for, I was
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  told more than once by bosses that I wasn't doing a good job.
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  Even though I had tried so hard, tried to please try to do
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  everything right, they still found me lacking.
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  Again and again, I was made to feel that I wasn't enough, that
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  my efforts didn't matter, and eventually I was asked to leave.
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  So when these women stood there in front of me, criticizing me,
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  telling me I wasn't good at my job, it was as if time folded
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  back on itself. Suddenly, I wasn't a strong
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  grown woman serving at Tony Robbins events anymore.
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  I was that younger version of me again, desperate for approval,
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  fighting back tears, crushed under the belief that I wasn't
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  worthy. I went back to the crew room and
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  by then the tears were streaming down my face.
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  I felt misunderstood. I felt unworthy.
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  I felt like a failure. But here's the gift.
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  When we fall apart, sometimes the universe sends us exactly
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  the person we need. Another crew member saw me and
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  suggested I speak to one of Tony Robbins trainer.
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  And that's How I Met Mia, a wonderful trainer from Denmark
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  who took the time to sit with me, listen to me, and guide me
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  through my pain with so much compassion.
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  She reminded me of something I had forgotten.
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  That no one else gets to determine my worth.
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  That my value doesn't depend on whether someone sees me or
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  criticizes me. That I'm worthy just by being.
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  She helped me feel safe again in my body.
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  She taught me that no one can enter my inner space unless I
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  give them permission. And she helped me anchor the
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  truth that my verse comes from within.
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  Not from pleasing others. Not from the approval of bosses
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  or colleagues, and certainly not from strangers speaking out of
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  their own stress. I walked away from that
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  conversation lighter still tender, yes, but stronger and
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  incredibly grateful that this incident had happened because it
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  forced me to face yet another layer of an old wound and to
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  release it. So what can you learn from my
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  story? Maybe you too are a people
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  pleaser. Maybe you too long for your boss
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  or your colleagues to finally say you did well.
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  We see you. We value you.
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  Maybe you're caught in that exhausting cycle of giving
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  everything and still feeling like it's never enough.
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  If that's you, I want you to pause and ask yourself, am I
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  doing a good job right now? Am I giving my best?
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  And if your answer is yes, then listen carefully.
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  It's not you, it's the environment.
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  If the people around you cannot see your effort, your heart,
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  your dedication, then maybe they don't deserve you.
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  You are not the problem. You don't need to shrink
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  yourself to fit their blindness. Here's something practical you
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  can try next time you feel threatened, next time a superior
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  enters your space and makes you feel small, take a deep breath,
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  squeeze your fingers gently together and whisper inside
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  yourself. I am enough.
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  I'm worthy. No one can take this away from
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  me. It might sound simple, but this
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  little gesture can anchor you back in your power.
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  I wasn't able to do this back then.
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  Every time someone told me I wasn't good enough, I fell back
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  into my old story. All the therapy sessions, I
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  couldn't hold it when the trigger came.
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  But now I know Healing doesn't mean we never get triggered
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  again. Healing means we find new ways
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  to meet ourselves with love when the old wound opens.
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  And maybe you've already done some inner work.
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  Maybe you know how to talk to your inner child, the little one
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  who was told too many times that she wasn't enough.
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  Maybe you've learned to hold her, to soothe her, to whisper.
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  I see you, you are safe, you're loved.
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  If you can do that, then you are already so far on your journey.
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  And if you're not there yet, don't despair.
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  You can learn, you can grow, and I would be honoured to walk that
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  path with you. So, my dear listener, remember
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  this universe is not up for debate.
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  It's not dependent on someone's recognition or someone's
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  approval or someone's inability to see your light.
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  You are worthy, you are enough, and no one, no boss, no
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  colleague, no stranger can take that away from you.
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  If you feel called to work on this with me, please reach out.
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  I would love to help you breakthrough those old patterns
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  and step into your power with ease and love.
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  Thank you for letting me share this very personal story with
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  you. It means so much to me to know
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  that my voice reaches your heart.
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  Until next week, keep living without fear.
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  Yeah.