Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / OUTRO: Once A Thief
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast,
- 0:05Speaker 1: Get up even Closer on Instagram, YouTube and ticked off
- 0:09Speaker 1: for targets for to SIV every weekday on radio.
- 0:15Speaker 2: On Get a Feelers.
- 0:18Speaker 3: Hello, good stuff. I'm tell you what, um I we've
- 0:26Speaker 3: just had a big feed.
- 0:27Speaker 1: We won't say what we had a big feed of,
- 0:30Speaker 1: but we had a really big feed. And I'm staffed
- 0:32Speaker 1: at the gun or that's me for the rest of
- 0:35Speaker 1: the day. I don't need I just texted my wife
- 0:37Speaker 1: to say, no dinner for me tonight, Darlan, did you?
- 0:40Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm full on what I've just been eating, plus
- 0:44Speaker 4: all the chips that I'll steal and.
- 0:46Speaker 1: The chip well, funnily enough, I went to steal some
- 0:49Speaker 1: chips and I went, hang about that was just it
- 0:52Speaker 1: was just habits and I went, no, I don't need chips,
- 0:55Speaker 1: and I just literally ate a massive pile of chips.
- 0:59Speaker 5: At what point is the chip stealing going to finish?
- 1:01Speaker 5: I don't know, you know what I mean like it
- 1:03Speaker 5: because it's obviously like a it's like a revenge thing.
- 1:06Speaker 2: When when is the revenge done?
- 1:09Speaker 1: Well, it's not really a revenge thing. It's just I
- 1:12Speaker 1: like chips and these ones are free.
- 1:15Speaker 4: Except when Kezy, for example, brings in free ones. You're
- 1:19Speaker 4: like not interested.
- 1:20Speaker 3: That's true.
- 1:21Speaker 1: I mean when people pay for them, they just don't
- 1:24Speaker 1: taste the same, you know what I'm saying.
- 1:26Speaker 5: It's just how if we were to put a dollar
- 1:28Speaker 5: value on the amount of chips stolen, So I know,
- 1:30Speaker 5: a pack of those chips goes for about five bucks.
- 1:32Speaker 6: That's say market now it's called it four, it's got
- 1:35Speaker 6: four dollars. How long have you been stealing chips for?
- 1:37Speaker 2: Days? Two years? Yeap?
- 1:39Speaker 6: Oh yeah, okay, I'm just gonna do some meths over here.
- 1:43Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's about two and twenty five days a
- 1:46Speaker 4: year we work Keezy.
- 1:48Speaker 2: So there you go. A thousand bucks. My friend steals
- 1:52Speaker 2: two eighteen hundred dollars a year, eighteen hundred.
- 1:56Speaker 4: Dollars since every over the last two years dollars a year.
- 2:00Speaker 3: It's not bad, it's pretty good.
- 2:03Speaker 2: And then I've shared some of those as well.
- 2:05Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you guys have all probably more on top. Actually,
- 2:09Speaker 1: you know you you guys have indulged in my fevery.
- 2:12Speaker 2: Especially in the earlier days.
- 2:13Speaker 5: Yes, he steals a packet of football chips every day,
- 2:16Speaker 5: and it's done so for the past two years.
- 2:17Speaker 6: How much has he stolen? Two thousand and eighty dollars?
- 2:21Speaker 4: No, it's eighteen hundred because we worked two hundred and
- 2:23Speaker 4: twenty five days in the year.
- 2:24Speaker 6: Five times fifty two times two.
- 2:26Speaker 3: Yeah, but we don't work fifty two monks.
- 2:28Speaker 2: That's not that's not true. You're true. Actually, two hundred
- 2:32Speaker 2: and twenty five days of the year.
- 2:34Speaker 3: Trying to make me look bad.
- 2:35Speaker 6: It four weeks off.
- 2:37Speaker 4: What are you working out? I've given you the answer, man,
- 2:40Speaker 4: I know the answer. I've told you. It's nine hundred
- 2:42Speaker 4: dollars a year per year.
- 2:45Speaker 1: But you know, it's been a long time since I've
- 2:47Speaker 1: stolen any Yeah, oh yeah, I mean it's been months,
- 2:52Speaker 1: months and months and months.
- 2:53Speaker 5: Eighteen forty, eighteen hundred and forty. You don't how crazy?
- 2:59Speaker 4: You don't count the small bags of chips then.
- 3:02Speaker 3: Nah, well they're like incidental, aren't they.
- 3:06Speaker 1: And actually they've got very they've got very slack on
- 3:10Speaker 1: that front because they're literally just lying all over the floor.
- 3:12Speaker 6: I'm worried about you, what do you mean, man?
- 3:15Speaker 5: I worry about like with that hat today that you
- 3:18Speaker 5: tried to steal. I worry that you have a take
- 3:20Speaker 5: mentality I that when you come in here, you're allowed
- 3:22Speaker 5: whatever you want.
- 3:23Speaker 1: I only tried to have that hat because I thought
- 3:26Speaker 1: it was a new one and he was just giving
- 3:28Speaker 1: it out for you for the video.
- 3:29Speaker 2: That we were making. I have that hat.
- 3:33Speaker 3: You know there was a there was an element of
- 3:35Speaker 3: humor in.
- 3:35Speaker 2: It, right, was there?
- 3:37Speaker 5: So I just worry about you stealing as well. I'm
- 3:40Speaker 5: just worried about it.
- 3:41Speaker 3: Look, it's all harmless fun.
- 3:46Speaker 2: I don't know if it is.
- 3:47Speaker 1: Yeah, it's harmless fun. I mean, it's not like I'm
- 3:50Speaker 1: going into shops and stealing.
- 3:53Speaker 2: From the people. You know your work plate.
- 3:54Speaker 3: Were you guys big stealers when you were young?
- 3:57Speaker 1: No?
- 3:57Speaker 6: Never have been.
- 3:58Speaker 3: No.
- 3:58Speaker 6: My mom took basicly.
- 4:00Speaker 5: But one time I tried to steal a kinder surprise
- 4:02Speaker 5: and I got in big trouble.
- 4:03Speaker 6: My mum made me take it back and apologize.
- 4:06Speaker 1: I got well, I think I've told you this. I
- 4:07Speaker 1: got caught stealing at my local dairy. He busted me
- 4:12Speaker 1: because I stupidly stole successfully and then went outside the
- 4:17Speaker 1: sturdy Saturday evening. It was like a packet of chicken
- 4:21Speaker 1: chips and some Lollies.
- 4:22Speaker 4: Chips, and he said to me, like, because you got
- 4:27Speaker 4: it outside the door.
- 4:28Speaker 2: It was yours. Now it will exactly.
- 4:31Speaker 1: I was only about like seven, and he said because
- 4:33Speaker 1: he knew my dad, and so he said to me,
- 4:36Speaker 1: you're going to pay me double for those or I'm
- 4:38Speaker 1: going to tell.
- 4:38Speaker 2: Your dad, did you Yes? So you had money?
- 4:42Speaker 3: No, I didn't have money, but I had to pay him.
- 4:44Speaker 3: I had I literally had to mogi.
- 4:47Speaker 1: I literally had to save up and then go back
- 4:50Speaker 1: and pay him.
- 4:51Speaker 3: The money double.
- 4:52Speaker 2: What and you told off?
- 4:53Speaker 3: I never got told off?
- 4:55Speaker 4: Listened there, West, I mean, you steal off everybody you
- 4:59Speaker 4: come across.
- 5:00Speaker 1: What the lesson I learned is don't get caught.
- 5:06Speaker 4: Every single day it gets posted to social media and
- 5:09Speaker 4: the people you steal from come in here and say
- 5:11Speaker 4: can you please not steal from me? And then they
- 5:13Speaker 4: talk to your boss and say, can you get just
- 5:15Speaker 4: jas not to steal off me? And then they hide
- 5:17Speaker 4: all the ship that you're stealing in different areas and
- 5:19Speaker 4: you still steal.
- 5:20Speaker 6: Isn't it crazy?
- 5:23Speaker 1: No? I just I just I just want to assure
- 5:25Speaker 1: the listeners actually to this podcast, we're king that's the truth.
- 5:29Speaker 1: This is just as I mean, we're just having a
- 5:35Speaker 1: bit of fun.
- 5:38Speaker 2: Not me, man.
- 5:40Speaker 4: The whole Big Show week days from four on Radio
- 5:44Speaker 4: Hurrachym Big Show Podcast.
- 5:47Speaker 6: I reckon, it's been a year since I went in
- 5:49Speaker 6: there and stole a pack of chips.
- 5:50Speaker 1: Well, I tell you what, you're not just uh, what's
- 5:54Speaker 1: the word? You're not opposed to stuffing your god with
- 5:58Speaker 1: my stolen goods?
- 6:00Speaker 6: Have you noticed I haven't had any of your chips
- 6:01Speaker 6: for a.
- 6:01Speaker 2: Long long time.
- 6:02Speaker 3: No, I haven't.
- 6:03Speaker 2: I just literally haven't eaten any of them.
- 6:05Speaker 3: But stuffing them in your god every tie?
- 6:07Speaker 5: Okay, mag you was the first thing you ever stole.
- 6:12Speaker 5: I've got nothing you used to steal.
- 6:14Speaker 2: You never stole.
- 6:14Speaker 4: The only thing I can remember that I actually ended
- 6:16Speaker 4: ved stealing was two dollar coins out of my mum's
- 6:19Speaker 4: wallet to buy Heroin Oh No, to play Street Fighter.
- 6:24Speaker 6: I did that before.
- 6:25Speaker 2: I've done that before as.
- 6:26Speaker 4: Well, And that was that was it. That was the
- 6:27Speaker 4: only thing I ever used to steal. And I stole
- 6:30Speaker 4: about twenty thousand dollars.
- 6:34Speaker 1: Do you remember when those Space Invaders were like twenty cents.
- 6:38Speaker 4: Well it was forty cents to continue those ways that
- 6:42Speaker 4: that particular game, which would have been you would have
- 6:44Speaker 4: been too old for it by the time that came along.
- 6:47Speaker 4: You Jay, even though you were young. But that was
- 6:50Speaker 4: that that that was one of the great cultural phenomenons
- 6:54Speaker 4: that game. It was magnificent.
- 6:57Speaker 3: But you know, I mean.
- 6:58Speaker 1: I I certainly don't have a history of stealing.
- 7:02Speaker 2: In what way I mean outside of the last two years.
- 7:06Speaker 1: I learned my listen as a young feeler and what
- 7:09Speaker 1: was the listening as I say, I'm in this.
- 7:10Speaker 3: Chats just it's just the feelings.
- 7:13Speaker 5: It'll be amazing to see fellows having a bit of
- 7:15Speaker 5: a bit of lined up, the full boxes lined up.
- 7:18Speaker 5: The same thing would probably fill out the back of
- 7:20Speaker 5: a big lorry, a big truck.
- 7:22Speaker 6: Here is the amount of chips that Hoidy J has stolen.
- 7:25Speaker 4: Well, if there's ten boxes in a in a box,
- 7:28Speaker 4: which there is, and you do two twenty five a days,
- 7:31Speaker 4: so it's twenty twenty two boxes, forty five boxes.
- 7:38Speaker 2: It's a lot.
- 7:39Speaker 4: It's a lot chase because you can't count the weekends, key,
- 7:42Speaker 4: because he's not in here on the weekends.
- 7:43Speaker 6: Yeah, but he comes in there.
- 7:44Speaker 2: No, it's true exactly, because you're right, he'll be walking bright.
- 7:47Speaker 3: They did have a swipe. You know, I live in
- 7:50Speaker 3: the cd D now, so weird.
- 7:52Speaker 2: It'll be funny if you're coming in here on.
- 7:54Speaker 4: The weekend, actually very funny.
- 7:59Speaker 2: Do you reckon?
- 7:59Speaker 3: You will stop though I stopped months ago.
- 8:04Speaker 1: And also what they've done is that you know, they're
- 8:08Speaker 1: getting much more anal with their hiding of said chips, you.
- 8:12Speaker 2: Know what I mean, kind of ruining it for you,
- 8:14Speaker 2: aren't they?
- 8:15Speaker 1: Well look this fun and the chase you know, of
- 8:18Speaker 1: trying to find them and hunt them down. But I
- 8:22Speaker 1: really can't be bothered with it anymore. Thus you haven't
- 8:24Speaker 1: seen me eating any chippies.
- 8:25Speaker 2: For ages yesterday?
- 8:28Speaker 6: Yesterday?
- 8:29Speaker 3: Yeah, I went on the no that don't sell them.
- 8:34Speaker 5: I remember because you walked in and said, hey you
- 8:36Speaker 5: chick old hody JS scored again or something something like that.
- 8:40Speaker 6: As you opened the sour cream tribes you.
- 8:43Speaker 2: Said, hoyj rides again?
- 8:47Speaker 3: Is that what I said?
- 8:48Speaker 2: Is it?
- 8:49Speaker 5: And you had like a h a black head band
- 8:51Speaker 5: around your face with the eye holes cut out and.
- 8:53Speaker 6: You're looking through them and your dillion.
- 8:58Speaker 3: That was unrelated though, Yeah, that was just a bone.
- 9:01Speaker 6: Did you at least pay for the dilly?
- 9:04Speaker 3: Well?
- 9:04Speaker 1: No, because I don't know if you know this as well,
- 9:07Speaker 1: The A c C have lots of dillies just floating
- 9:11Speaker 1: around as well.
- 9:12Speaker 6: Yeah, it was because they did like a crossover thing
- 9:14Speaker 6: with sex life.
- 9:15Speaker 1: I always find it really funny when I see Lane,
- 9:17Speaker 1: you know, when they do that throwing it against the glass. Yeah,
- 9:21Speaker 1: and I'm like, I just chuckle to myself because I'm like,
- 9:23Speaker 1: I use that.
- 9:26Speaker 5: Are you talking about the dildo? You're talking about the
- 9:35Speaker 5: deli with a suction cup?
- 9:39Speaker 2: When did you use it?
- 9:41Speaker 3: None of your business, Kezy, that's a very personal question.
- 9:46Speaker 4: I don't like getting tired at three o'clock every day.
- 9:48Speaker 4: Three thirty itis? Is that what they call it on
- 9:50Speaker 4: that head?
- 9:52Speaker 2: Yeah?
- 9:52Speaker 1: I know, I don't know, man, But as I say,
- 9:54Speaker 1: we've just eaten so much food. I've got a bit
- 9:56Speaker 1: of a food coma going on.
- 9:58Speaker 2: And it's hot as fucking here again.
- 10:00Speaker 6: Fuck man, Hey, you have a lovely long weekend.
- 10:03Speaker 2: Hey, a real nice time? Was Can I say that?
- 10:06Speaker 5: Go the Warriors taking on the Panthers top of the
- 10:08Speaker 5: table clash.
- 10:09Speaker 2: Wind that by the way on Tuesday.
- 10:12Speaker 6: See you there Tuesday four to seven.
- 10:14Speaker 3: Bye bye.