Latest / Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home / Derek Belch - Stanford Kicker To Startup CEO

Transcript

Derek Belch - Stanford Kicker To Startup CEO · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Riley.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Ryder.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: And this is my dad Joe.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well hey everybody, it's Casey Jcox with the Quarterback Dadcats.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to season six, and I cannot be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes of conversations with unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they're arrays, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them, and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: So let's sit back, relax, and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Deckcast.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hey everybody, it is KCJ Cox with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: We are at the tail end of season six.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: And uh this next guest came to us uh while I was driving.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: My son and I were driving to uh to drop him off our second year of college.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: He's a golfer at the mighty Southern Oregon, and we were we were driving down, we're listening to uh an a golf podcast that we both enjoy called the Wicked Smat golf podcast with Michael Leonard.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Shout out to Michael and one of the guests he had on was a gentleman by the name of Derek Belch, who is the CEO of Striver and also an aspiring, I believe, US Open.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: You never know, maybe a senior PGA tour guy.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: So if he's looking for a looper, I think I'm his guy.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_05: No senior, no senior.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, just PGA tour.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: He's also a kicker at Stanford.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: He made a couple of post-50 arters.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, he was an academic All-American.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: He also was a coach for the Mighty Cardinal.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he's also the host of the golfing CEO podcast, as well as CEO of Striver, but more importantly, Derek is a dad.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And he's working, and we're gonna learn today how he's working hard to become that ultimate quarterback or leader of his household.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: So further ado, Mr.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Belch, welcome to the quarterback dadcast.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Happy to be here.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Casey.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we always start out each episode with gratitude.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, um I've been thinking about this one actually for a few weeks since we met.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_05: And I I couldn't go through all of your hundreds of episodes uh before three hundreds.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_05: Three, yeah, three hundreds before we hundreds, I did say hundreds.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_05: Um uh but I I did listen to to enough between you know uh when we met and today just to get a feel.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_05: And um quick quick story.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_05: We we did a leadership offsite several years ago at my company, and uh we did one of those bonding things to start.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_05: And uh one of the questions was, what is your biggest fear?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_05: And we told everyone before we started that, we said, you are not allowed to say your spouse dying or your kids dying, because that's like a given, right?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_05: Like we we all know that that would be awful, and you're not allowed to say that, okay?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_05: Not that we don't know that you fear that, and you we know that you love them, you know.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_05: So, so uh, as I was been listening to some of your amazing guests and kind of thinking through this, um, listen, it's a given that I am grateful for waking up today and my children waking up today and their health.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, that is a given.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so that's that's a that's a I'm not gonna give that answer.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I'm gonna give a little bit different of an answer that I haven't heard yet.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_05: Love it.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I'm I'm really grateful to be on this show.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I'm I'm grateful to be talking about a top topic that I am extremely passionate about, and that is parenting uh and and being a dad.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um I don't think it's a topic that gets the attention it deserves.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, there's a million books out there, but uh I think in podcast media realm, it's probably not interesting enough day to day, you know, for people.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_05: Um and furthermore, um think about it, like you have to be 18 to vote, you have to be 16 to get a license, you have to be 21 to drink alcohol.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_05: There are all these things that we in society in America at least, you have to pass a test and prove that you're competent to do it.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_05: But then when it comes to parenting, there's yeah, there's a lot of manuals out there, but there's no test.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_05: And you you could argue that this is the single most important thing that we should test people on because it forms the future of our world and our society, right?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_05: So super grateful to be uh be on today to be having that this conversation.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's a great answer, man.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm honored you're you're here.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: I um I'm grateful for um adversity.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it's never fun to go through, but I know that when you go through it, uh there's always something positive in it.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: And um my son is uh he's a plus two handicap playing in college.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh he's a obviously a late bloomer.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and as you know, uh the golf gods sometimes are gonna kick you in the you know what, uh, the day you forget to wear the cup for no reason.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: And my son, he's been playing fantastic, he had just one of the commo one of the most resilient rounds recently.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: I witnessed it was like just like one of the coolest dad Disney moments slash Rudy type moments.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this this past weekend, we're recording in October now.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: This episode will come out in probably about a month or so, uh everybody.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: But um uh so the in the college tournaments they play 36 holes the first day and then they play 18 the next.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: And the first round he he he had kind of a his bad rounds now are kind of mid mid upper 70s, so he shot 76, which he's still right in the pack.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then for whatever reason, he lost it.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like he lost the feel.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um I mean, he was playing army golf.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And he and he literally felt so lost.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: He told and he literally shot 80-82.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Worst he's shot in probably five years.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I'm grateful for this experience as a dad to go through with him because yeah, it sucks.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um I always tell him, I said, whether you shoot 65 or 110, two things I can guarantee you.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: The sun's gonna come up tomorrow, and I'm gonna love you more tomorrow.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's guaranteed.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I do do I think you're gonna go PGA tour, probably not, but prove me wrong.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: Prove me wrong.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Why not?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Why not you?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: But the biggest thing is I just want to make sure that he knows is like you're not defined by each round of golf.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so just it's I'm grateful for this experience to go through because sometimes I think when people see people on social media or LinkedIn, it's like, oh man, this guy's lucky, but I I'm I'm just like everybody else.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm a flawed dad.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: I get free therapy from every episode, Derek.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's like I thought I I wanted to share that today because it's like, yeah, that's first world problem.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like we have the plague and we're losing our breath, but like it's it's gonna be fun to go through and just watch how he how he responds and yeah, put some of the mental skills to the test.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm grateful for that.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_05: Great.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_05: Well, but in his world, it it's a massive problem, right?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_05: And so you being and rightfully so, it means that he cares, which is great.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you being there as a supportive and you know, sounding bored and giving him the perspective outside of his day-to-day is massive.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and golf is just such a such a crazy game.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_03: It makes no sense.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_05: Hey, I I mean, do you all you gotta do, Casey, is uh go show him Xander Shoffley's scores over the last year since winning two majors.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, he just won the uh the uh Bay Current tournament in Japan this past weekend, his first win since the open championship a year ago, over a year ago.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_05: And despite the fact that Xander, who is the third ranked golfer in the world, um, despite the fact that Xander still has has kept his consecutive cut streak alive through all of this crap, uh, his bad, his poor play over the last year, I believe he also shot 80 in the third round of a tournament uh earlier this year.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_05: And so, like it is the craziest game.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_05: It really is.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_05: And uh, and I I I'm right there with you as as a as a parent.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_05: I love that you're thankful for uh grateful for adversity today because it is going to help your son either with his golf or with his life.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_05: You know, he he may not see it today, but but but right and and every bad round shapes him uh in ways that he doesn't even understand.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_05: So I love that.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, cool, man.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, bring me inside.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: You're you I know you're a kicker, but you're gonna play quarterback today.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Why was a kicker?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: You're still a kicker, always a kicker.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um bring me inside the Belch Huddle.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to learn how you and your wife met and then talk about each member of the squad.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, sure.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_05: So I actually funny story on the on the kicker thing.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so I uh I have a medical condition with my neck.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I was born with a tumor, and uh I'm very lucky to be alive today.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_05: And so um, you can't, I look normal, right?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_05: So I had about a 50% chance, I had a tumor in the back of my neck, had a 50% chance to live.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_05: Uh and they they did the surgery, you know, right when I right when I came out of the wound, basically.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_05: And then another after that, like another 50% chance to end up looking normal because the doctor said, hey, we pulled out half the muscle and it's trapezius to that's where the tumor was.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_05: And he could end up, I'm no one can see me, but I'm leaning to the right.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_05: He could end up like look leaning to the right his whole life.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_05: Who knows?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_05: And so I'm very fortunate that uh my body compensated.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, other than having some scar tissue back here in the form of a little indentation, um, I'm completely normal.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_05: I'm very inflexible.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_05: That probably all stems from that.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_05: That's an aside.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_05: But I share that story because uh I was not allowed to play football.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I I kicking was all I could do because the doctors were too nervous uh that like repeated shoulder, head, and neck contact, you know, could would be risky for me.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_05: Uh had I have played football, uh had I have been allowed to play normal football, I would have been a quarterback.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_05: And uh flag football, you know, before high school, after high school, you know, coaching my kids' teens, et cetera, like I'm I'm you know, I'm a CEO, obviously.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_05: So I have very much have that quarterback mentality, and I never really had the mentality of a kicker.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_05: So I I appreciate the the question.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_05: Um okay, yeah, with without boring the audience uh too much.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_05: So long story short, my wife and I celebrated our 11th uh wedding anniversary this year, and um and uh we met in on Memorial Day weekend 2009.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_05: So that was you know over 16 years ago.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_05: And we actually went to the same high school, but we were a year apart and did not really know each other.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_05: I think we were in the same limo for a prom once, you know.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_05: So we we knew each other's names, but we didn't we never said more than a couple sentences.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_05: And uh I was walking into a restaurant with a friend and cousin, my cousin.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_05: She was walking out with her sister to go home.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_05: We both literally bumped into each other going in and out of the bathroom.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_05: And one of my friends went had known her since elementary school.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_05: So it was kind of one of those, hey, how's it going?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_05: I haven't seen you in a while.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_05: You know, why don't you guys stay?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, I don't drink, but you know, have a drink, right?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so they end up staying.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_05: And uh the rest is history.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_05: And I I love I love to tell people she really fooled me because I at the time, I'm 23, I've got big ambitions and dreams.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_05: And I, you know, I I tell her all there's loud music and people and we're yelling at each other.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_05: And uh I tell her that I want to be the GM of an NFL football team.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_05: Like, that's my that's what I want to do.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_05: I'm working at Booz Allen Hamilton at the time.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_05: So, like, why am I not, you know, working for the Chargers or something?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_05: That's an aside.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_05: And she the way she responds, and we talk for the next 30 minutes about this.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_05: I would have thought she was like the biggest NFL fan on planet earth.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_05: Little do I know, she didn't even know what a first down was at the time.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_05: So she did a did a great job of fooling me.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and uh, but yeah, like so the rest is history went on a date, you know, a week later, and then she actually went to Ireland four months later to study abroad for grad school, and we weren't together.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_05: Then a week later, I said that this is stupid, we should be together.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so you know, we we've basically been inseparable for you know 16 years.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so that that that's how we met.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_05: And uh as far as the huddle, not gonna lie, like, you know, she it's she pretty much is the huddle.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_05: Uh and I've we've got three boys, you know, 10, 7, and four.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_05: Um, Ethan, Aiden, and Preston.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry, Preston, Preston's our oldest, uh, Aiden's our middle one, and Ethan's our youngest.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_05: And so that that is the huddle day in and day out.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, you know, we live in San Diego.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_05: We're very, very fortunate to live near cousins and her sister and her dad and my parents all within five minutes.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_05: So that's kind of our our that's kind of like the broader team.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_05: And then for me personally, uh I think you've said this yourself on some of your episodes, some of your guests have said this.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, I don't really have like one or two or three mentors, like one person that I go to for everything.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_05: Like I go to certain people for certain things.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I would say one of the biggest people in my, you know, in my corner and in my extended huddle is uh my executive coach uh of eight years.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_05: His uh you can appreciate this based on your line of work.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_05: Um his name is Steve Shrek.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_05: Um actually used to live in your neck of the woods, used to work at Microsoft many years ago uh up in Seattle, and now he resides in the Bay Area.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_05: He's he's been a phenomenal partner professionally and personally.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_05: Our COO at Striver is my best friend since kindergarten.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_05: Um his name's Michael, and you know, we pretty much go to each other for everything personally and professionally.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_05: Uh David Shaw, former Stanford coach now with the Lions, helped get Striver off the ground.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, I'll go to him from time to time uh once or twice a year for to pick his brain on something leadership related.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_05: Um obviously I've got my mom and dad.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so yeah, like there's there's I'd say there's a handful, handful of folks, but uh we pretty much roll with what's in this under this roof nine times, you know, nine times out of ten with uh between Amelia, my wife, and and my kids.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: So love it.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Take me back to what was life like growing up for you, Derek.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd love to learn about that journey and the impact the mom and dad had on you now that you're a dad.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_05: Sure.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_05: So uh grew up in San Diego, you know, current currently reside here.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_05: And um after uh a five year stint at Stanford as an undergrad, and then um, you know, came back home for a few years, then went to grad school at USC.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_05: So I lived in LA for a couple years.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I like to tell people I I bleed Cardinal, but I do not sweat gold.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I did, I just went there for the degree.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_05: I did not I did not root for the Trojans, despite the fact that I am an alum.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, then went back up to the Bay Area for nine years, and the first two of those were, as you mentioned, were actually on the coaching staff at Stanford and then left to start Striver, which you know we may or may not talk about later.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_05: But as far as like growing up, um, you know, very, very fortunate.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, we were probably like middle class, you know.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know what the economic indicators are of you know of what lower middle class, up middle class, upper middle class are, certainly more than the 1% growing up, but grew up in suburban San Diego, then Carnell Valley, near near east side of the freeway of Del Mar, but a very nice master plan community.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_05: Um, didn't have a lot, but also never wanted for anything, kind of one of those dynamics, right?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_05: Like my parents were, they were not a bottomless pit of money and yeses.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, as a matter of fact, more no's than yeses if we asked for things.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_05: But anything that my brother and I actually really needed in life from food, clothes, shelter to sports equipment, um, you know, we we we had, right?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_05: So so we it wasn't always the nicest of those things, but we had what we needed, you know.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but most importantly, and I think, you know, certainly and as I look at, you know, how we my wife and I parent today, and how I I dad, my children and husband, what you know, for that matter, we did get a bottomless pit of time and energy from from my mom and dad.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_05: Um, they're both college professors.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_05: And uh my dad's my mom actually worked in corporate America for several years and then you know fell into uh professing, uh college professoring um later.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_05: But my dad like specifically picked that profession coming out of grad school because he knew that uh he would have flexibility with you know family stuff as he looked out into the future.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_05: So my dad coached a lot of my teens growing up.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_05: Um I don't know if if he ever missed a game.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sure he missed some, you know, once I got into high school, but uh road games.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_05: But um, you know, we we if we asked to go out to dinner with friends after a game or you know, after school or something, hard no, nine times out of 10, no, we eat dinner together as a family.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and oh, by the way, like that costs four times as much as what we can make it for.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_05: So um, so I I you'll I I don't I didn't, I know I didn't appreciate it at the time.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_05: Uh funny story, I felt like we had chicken ate 80% of our meals growing up.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_05: And guess what?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_05: Here I am and as a parent of uh in 2025, and guess what?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_05: We have for 80% of our meals chicken.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: The protein.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_05: Uh and so you know, I looking back, um what my parents, the way that I was my brother and I were raised, specifically when it comes to time, was absolutely massive relative to how I operate today.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_05: And I and I I I didn't know it at the time.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, pun pun not intended.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_05: Um a lot of people, I'll close with this.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_05: A lot of I, you know, you hear a lot about people that are busy at work or you know, socially or whatever, right?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_05: Um when I'm when I'm with my family, I'm present.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_05: And I I I agree with with that.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_05: Like it we should be present, okay, as as often as possible.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_05: But I also very strongly feel, Casey, that being super present 20% of the time is not good enough.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know what our kids need from us, especially when they're really, really young?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_05: They just need us around, right?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_05: And um, I love what how Brock Heward finished his session with you, you know, many, many episodes back.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, he said it it's so easy to just throw yourself into your work, it's so easy to be selfish, so easy to again and to put food on the table.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_05: So I don't want to, I don't want to diminish that by any means.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_05: But you know it's a lot harder figuring out how to do that while also being present for your your spouse and your children.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_05: And um my parents did that, you know, in spades for us, and uh I I didn't realize how valuable that was until I became a parent myself, and I just did those things innately.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_05: And I looked at I look at some of my fellow friends and parents that have told me they didn't have that, and I can see it clear as day.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_05: So, and how they parent, you know, so yeah, there you go.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_01: What what type of um subjects did they teach?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_05: So my dad uh is coming up on, I think he's over 40 years now or kind of just before at San Diego State, all in marketing.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_05: Um, he transitioned from undergraduates to graduates, you know, about halfway through that that period, probably by design, uh, but but marketing.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, and then my mom, uh, she also teaches marketing.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, my dad actually started a textbook um in uh in the early mid-90s that ended up becoming you know the number one selling textbook in its field.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_05: Uh him and his brother wrote it.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_05: It's called advertising promotion.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_05: And so my mom, I think my mom chose marketing because she's like, I have I have the Bible right here.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_05: I'm just gonna I'm just gonna you know go go with what I've uh watched my husband do for the last you know 20 years.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_05: Um and so yeah, they they both teach marketing.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Very cool.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, when do you think it you you had that aha moment um as a dad or tipping point tipping point as a dad where you're like, wow, I had a pretty good growing up, man, and um and where you really learned that.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_05: Oh man, that's a really that's a really good question.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_05: Um probably probably when my probably when I started to coach when my oldest son came of age of coaching uh or of playing organized sports, uh, and this is what four or five soccer, t-ball, whatever, whatever it was.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_05: Um when you when kids are young, like zero to one, they're in what I I can't take credit for this, but I've heard it before.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, they're in the plant phase, right?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_05: They kind of just like sit there like plants, and and our primary job as parents is to literally just keep them alive, water, yeah, keep them alive uh and make sure they don't tip over and hit their head on something.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_05: Plants will they'll spill their soil, like for us, make sure they don't hit their head on something.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_05: So um, and then as they then they're then they're mobile, and now we're keeping them alive in different ways, and you know, we're chasing them and making sure they don't run across the street and blah blah.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_05: Um so probably when probably when they start when he and then especially when our oldest press, and then especially when that now I have two, and now I'm coaching two teams, probably when when they start started playing sports, and the unprompted compliments and observations and compliments started coming in from my own parents to my extended family to people I had never met before prior to you know coaching their the their their friends' team, their friends being on the team or whatnot.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_05: And they started like mentioning a lot, like you know, I just think this is so awesome what you're doing.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_05: Like, man, you're an awesome dad.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_05: Like you, wow, you're you're you're running a company, you're you know, you're coaching a team, you're coaching multiple teams, you're you're having people over for dinner all the time.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_05: Like, man, you're you're you're doing you're really doing it all.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm not saying that in a narcissistic way, by the way.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_05: Um I I I listening to all your episodes and and kind of getting a feel for your style, I wrote down a quote that I think is super important.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_05: Uh it's about humility.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_05: I think humility is super misunderstood.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I I love this quote.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_05: Originally it was C.S.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_05: Lewis, and then the Harvard professor, deceit's professor Clayton Christensen, kind of expanded on it in one of his amazing essays.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, it is humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less often.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_05: And it's really like the most humble people actually are sometimes have a very high opinion of themselves because they're because they're really confident they love themselves, but their job is to build others up and make others feel really good about themselves too.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_05: That is the definition of humility.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_05: So I think like that's when it hit Casey was like, um, I'm like, wow, why why why do people keep mentioning this?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_05: I'm just doing what I thought I was supposed to do, right?
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_05: Which is like be there for my kids, love my kids, coach their teams, right?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_05: Like find a way to balance it, you know.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I just had someone last week.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_05: Right now I'm coaching two flag football teams, two soccer teams.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_05: You know, we're going through some interesting stuff at work uh that has us, uh has us, you know, keeping us on our toes and taking up a lot of time.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_05: And someone just said the other day, like, how do you how do you do it all?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, what are you talking about?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_05: He goes, Well, like you're coaching four teams.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_05: You told me about your work stuff, you're launching your podcast, you find a way to play golf.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, I I guess, I guess I just like it does, it never occurred, it didn't occur to me until right around that four, five, six years old mark that like this is not normal.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so when that started happening, uh, that's when I kind of got into that really deep reflection and appreciation mode for my my parents.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_05: And I thought to myself, where did that, where did this come from?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah, that's what my dad did.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah, that's what my mom did, right?
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_05: And so um I think that's that's probably the the shortest way I can describe it.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Love it, love it.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, talk to me about the top two or three values that mama dad taught you that you've now passed down to your boys, and maybe if there's a story that um would would further resonate how those values were learned for you.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_05: We we have a few, these aren't values.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_05: We'll we'll get we'll we we're always preaching honesty and integrity.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, we're we go to church every Sunday, we read it, read devotionals to our kids every night.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_05: So like we're always looking to reinforce biblical principles.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so so we're those are kind of those are foundational things for us.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_05: Um honesty and integrity, saying please and thank you, respect.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, every day when I drop my kids off, I I uh I uh tell them, you know, be nice to your, be be kind to your teachers and friends, right?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_05: And I literally yell it out the window.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_05: And I actually had a teacher stop me once.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_05: Oh no, that just this year when I met my my middle son, second grade teacher, she said, I know you, you're the one that's always telling Aiden to be kind to his teachers and friends.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you for keeping continuing to do that.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, oh, okay, cool.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_05: So um, so so we we do that.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_05: Uh we also have we have a a growing list of we have a growing list of of rules that uh we're always reinforcing with our kids, right?
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_05: Um uh and listen, I listen, I I understand what I'm about to say may be a little polarizing for some people, and some of this is just it's just personal and how we do it, but it is what it is.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_05: So insert your rules here.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, but like these are our non-negotiables, and some of them are funny, but uh so no smoking ever.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_05: Uh right now, while they're young, no alcohol, right?
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_05: No drugs and alcohol, right?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_05: But I'm listening when they're 21 and that's their decision.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_05: But so we're always reinforcing like what we put in our bodies, right?
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_05: Um, this one might be polarizing for some people.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_05: I apologize uh because I can only see your face if you have a tattoo, but no tattoos, right?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_05: That's just something that we talk about.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_05: Um, again, once they get older, it's it's their decision.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_05: But like that's kind of what we've chosen to reinforce.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_05: Um, respect the ocean.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_05: Interesting, interesting one.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, right, like look both ways before you cross the street.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_05: So then there's some ones that are just, but like, so we're we're our our list, I think there's like seven now that we're constantly reinforcing.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_05: And it it it isn't necessarily about like the thing, you know, the the rule or the thing.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_05: I think it's more of like, what's the culture we're trying to trying to build here, right?
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_05: And so, like when they're young, the smoking drugs, alcohol thing, right?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_05: I realize that tattoos have evolved over the years, and and it again, it it is what it is if that's a decision they want to make.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_05: But it's more like the respecting your body theme and value, right?
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_05: And what we put in our bodies and on our bodies and whatnot.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so that's what we're trying to reinforce, right?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_05: Respect the ocean, look, look both ways before you cross.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_05: So that's like, hey, I don't want you to not be adventurous in life, but like we also need to learn to respect things that could kill us.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_05: And let's not, let's not, you know, my my dad growing up, he didn't get mad about anything other than driving, uh, driving, because you could literally not safely, because you could literally kill someone with a car, and uh bats and golf clubs and swinging them, you know, around others, like he would lose his freaking mind, right?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_05: So if anyone swung a bat without a helmet on or like when someone wasn't looking, so um those are just some of the things that we do in our home as far as like things that we we preach and reinforce.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad the rule eight wasn't and no handlebar mustaches or out of felt really odd.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_05: We're good, you're good, yeah, yeah.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_05: Who knows?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, when they if they come home with one, I might change my mind when they're teenagers.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, you know, but and just for the audience, you might be like, what the hell is this guy talking about?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I I I have I used to have a beard and now I have a legit handlebar mustache, and it's all for good luck for the Seattle Mariners.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna throw it out universe.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: When this episode goes live, maybe we're World Series champs for the first time.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: Let's let's hope.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_05: They're up 2-0 right now.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_05: They're looking good.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_05: They are, baby.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, game we played a night at five.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: Can't wait.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what was the biggest mistake uh you've made as a kid that you'll share with your kids?
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_05: Oh uh, how many, how many can I count?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_05: You know, um, I've made a gajillion mistakes.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_05: Um so I'll share two.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_05: Share two.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_05: And and one comes back to that parenting thing.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, and and what what did I see and what was reinforced uh to me, and one and you know, one is when I was a young adult, uh, but thematically similar.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_05: So I was always a uh great but not elite athlete growing up.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_05: Uh football, soccer, baseball, you know, was never really good at basketball, but those were my those are my three sports, um, golf on the side, but like anything that I I gen anything that involved a stick and ball and some level of coordination, I generally was able to pick up pretty quick and you know was captain of teams, all-star teams, all that, you know, all the way up through high school, three three sports in high school.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_05: But a a defining moment for me in my athletic career and probably my life, was when I was 13 years old, first league of pony baseball, first year of pony league baseball.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_05: So the pony down here is is after little league.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_05: Um two years of that before you play in high school.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_05: And again, uh at this point in my baseball life, I was a very, very good little league player, probably great little league player, but now I'm on the younger end, so I'm just good because I'm it's a 13, 14-year-old league.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_05: I'm 13, so I'm I'm good, but I'm not great at this point.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_05: I play short stuff.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_05: And I I made four errors and struck out two or three times in one game.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_05: And one of the errors was like literally V V play that lost the game for the team.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm obviously distraught.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_05: Uh and when I came home that night, um, I loved to play golf.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, I told my parents I was gonna go up to, you know, hey, can someone take me to Torrey Pines so I can like go play nine holes before the sun sets and blow off.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_05: Steam and my mom not only did she say no, but uh she was and not only was she not uh empathetic and uh uh and supportive of her grieving son who was in tears, you know, a couple hours before after the game, she freaking ripped me.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_05: And I'll never forget, she said, Derek, you're not as good as you think you are.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_05: And let's look at what you're doing, including after this type of game wanting to go play golf.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_05: Like, how is what you're doing making you better at baseball?
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_05: You say you want to be good, like you have been good, but like that that it's not adding up, right?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_05: And she just flat out ripped me.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_05: And uh that was that was a defining moment in my athletic career um at the tender age of you know 13.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_05: The next year I hit 10 home runs in Pony League.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_05: And I would, if there wasn't for one field not having a fence, I probably would have hit 20 and set the record for the league.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_05: And then I went on to you know be a really good high school baseball player.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_05: So that that was uh that was a big one.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_05: And it wasn't like a mistake, like I did one thing wrong or I put my hand in the cookie jar and I shouldn't have done that.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_05: It was really like a body of work to that point.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_05: Um and uh my mom and I still talk about that that story, you know, that moment to this day.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_05: And uh if and when I have to go there with my children, I will, I will go there.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_05: Uh so so that that's that's that's one uh where I had influence.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_05: Um and then the second one, just like you know, kind of knowing it at the time and then looking back, uh, I went to Stanford.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_05: And so, you know, I not everyone that goes to Stanford is smart, but uh the world thinks you're smart if you go there and you have to have some baseline level of intelligence and and academic qualification.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_05: So I I you know never got to be in high school and you know did well enough in the SATs and other things to get into a school like that.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_05: So I guess I you know I was I was hardworking and smart enough to get into that school.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and then long story short, Casey, like I ended up like barely getting a 3.0 in college.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_05: And some of that was because I played football for five years and we lost a lot, and that was a very dark time for Stanford 03 to 07.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_05: I was the backup, and you know, I walked on, was the backup kicker for three years, and that was really tough for me emotionally.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_05: And um, like there was just a lot of negativity that that came in through my uh due to my football experience.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_05: And I've got a lot of friends that we, you know, team former teammates that have that will tell you to this day, they felt the same way with them, and that really negatively impacted their their experience in their life.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_05: But also, like whether it was because of football or whether this guy was just a kid being young and dumb, and I don't have mom and dad to help look over my shoulder and make sure that I'm that I'm getting stuff done.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, I'm playing video games with my friends, you know, I'm playing online poker, we're doing, you know, we're playing poker in the lounge every night, you know, with with 20 of us.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I I never, you know, I never I've never really got into drinking and never really was into partying.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_05: I I didn't hardly ever stayed up past midnight, even in college.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_05: So like it wasn't like I was out just totally acting inappropriately and and like a lot of kids do in college, and that was leading to it, but but I wasn't focused, you know, like and I I mean I literally I failed the class.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_05: Like I actually got an incomplete innate psychology class.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_05: And it's like, what?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_05: Like, this is the same kid that never got a B in high school, you know, and and I I you know I barely get a 3-0 as an undergrad.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_05: And so that I realized this towards the end of my senior year when I was preparing to do a graduate year and having uh, and then uh and while I was playing, and uh, and then also a couple of years later, when it was time to take the GMAT and apply to business schools, I was like, oh man, that that 3.0 GPA isn't really helping me uh get into Harvard or Northwestern or Stanford or whatever.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, USC is a great business school.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_05: I'm so fortunate to get in there.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_05: But so like, so from the time that I kind of realized this, my senior year to of college to then applying to business schools, you know, very proud to say I got, you know, I think I had like a 385 or something, my my fifth year at Stanford in that one-year graduate program, and then as a as a as a uh MBA candidate at USC, don't quote me on that, I forget the exact GPA, but but much better and and back to being the kid in high school that like you know never got a B, right?
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_05: And was super focused.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_05: And so um those are two, those are two things that stand out to me when you ask that question.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_05: And my kids are not of age yet to where we we you know they they can even appreciate that.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_05: But uh it shows up in subtle ways when we help them with their homework and you know, just make sure that they're doing their reading.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_05: Or, oh, you want to you say you want to be a professional baseball player when you grow up?
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_05: You know, you better hit off the T for 20 minutes every day.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_05: Like that, even though you're seven, like that's what it takes.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_05: You know, you got to at least start to learn to put the work in.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_00: So here you go.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, everybody.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: My name's Craig Co., and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for Beeline.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, Beeline's history of first-to-market innovations has become today's industry standards.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: I get asked all the time, uh, what did Casey do for your organization?
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this, it's simple.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: The guy flat out gets it, relationships matter.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: His down-to-earth presentation, his real-world experience apply to every area of our business.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, his book, Win the Relationship and Not the Deal, has become required reading for all new members of the Global Relationship Management Team.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know Casey Jacks, go to case jaycox.com and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let's get back to today's episode.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: What would be an area of your dad game that in the in the early phases, you got still plenty of road left, but like what's an area of your dad game that um sometimes you know isn't the best, you know, for that and is an area that might that might speak to a dad at home, like, man, I'm struggling with patience, or I'm struggling with this, or I'm struggling with that.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: What's an area of your dad game that sometimes is a challenge for you that that's something that you know you're working on that might kind of speak to other dads at home?
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_05: This is an easy one.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I I I can I can lose my temper and my voice can get loud, maybe even a four-letter word with my oldest um very uh very easily.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_05: Um and you know, you know.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_05: A, I am just a very energetic, emotional person.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_05: So, and this has been something that I've been working on in life for 20 years.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and uh very thankful for my executive coach who's helped me grow a lot in this area.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_05: It's helped translate to my golf game, you know, stuff at work, etc.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I'm not a yeller and a screamer like date at work at all.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_05: Um, or or when I coach the teams, and uh, but something about like being in these four walls uh with you know my kids uh and even my wife for that matter, like, and listen, I don't, I'm not a I'm this there's no physical altercations.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_05: It's not it's not that this isn't like uh we need to call the uh what what what's the what's the what's the yeah we don't we're not talking about that but but I can uh I can lose I can lose my temper.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_05: I think that's something that we can all relate to.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_05: Um and uh and and also I I think I one of the A, I think it's just like what however your maybe your personality is, B, I think it also like I think for us as parents, one thing that we probably all struggle with is our expectations of our children, right?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_05: Like we just think to ourselves, how can you not see that?
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_05: How can you not do that?
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_05: Why why are they doing that?
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_05: This is so obvious.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_05: And we have to remind ourselves like they're about four or six or eight or ten, they're not us, you know.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_05: So um, so that that that is a that's a big one for me for sure, and and proud to say that I am improving.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I actually heard something on another podcast many, you know, many months ago, or maybe it was last year, um, that uh, and this is something that I was have been doing for a while and in work and uh something that uh I heard that if if you do find yourself in that situation, the most important thing to do when they storm off or you know, and that or they ignore you, or later when things have calmed down, is you gotta own it.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_05: And and uh even even if maybe your child was in the wrong that made you go there, right?
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_05: Because we all know how kids can push our buttons.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, um, you you you go get down eye to eye, face to face, or you know, you hold them, hold them tightly with their shoulders, or you hug them or whatever, and you genuinely apologize and you acknowledge, you tell them exactly what you did, and you say, I'm really sorry.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I shouldn't have acted that way, and I shouldn't have said that.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_05: Um and you you don't start justifying, like because when you do this, it makes me no, no, no, like they you can deal with that later, right?
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_05: But in that moment, um, you own what you did, you let them know that you that it was wrong and that you know it was wrong and that you're gonna be better going forward.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um spot on it's uh I think episode nine.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Episode nine or ten, my buddy Darren Ballmores.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: We did an episode just on the power of apologizing.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh the male ego is a dangerous thing.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I think at the rample age of almost 50, the core values that drive me are being humble, being vulnerable, being humble, being vulnerable, and being curious.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm always looking to infuse those into my own home, and in myself, into the companies I consult with because they're superpowers, I believe.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying I'm right, I just believe that's my my experience of life shows me they're superpowers of and they create great relationships, create great environments, they help remove fear.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: And why would we want to do that in my mind?
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like um I want to learn real quick, Casey.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_05: Vulnerability that word is just so important.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_05: Vulnerability.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, I that that's one of my favorite words.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and again, I think it's a misunderstood word.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_05: Like a lot of people think it's weakness.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_05: No, it's strength.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_05: And I and I think as parents, like we can even do uh we can do little things with that.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_05: Um I do this with my four-year-old.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_05: Like, use your words, buddy, right?
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_05: Like if he's if he's upset or he's crying about something, or maybe he stubbed his toe or he says something hurts and he's just losing his mind.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_05: I even, you know, obviously the 10-year-old's a little a little more emotionally mature, the seven-year-old somewhere in between.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_05: I'm always asked, use your words, right?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_05: Like, tell me what's wrong, right?
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and that is a form of vulnerability, right?
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_05: And hopefully that's something that they're gonna continue to improve in moving forward.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: So yes, too many, too often people don't realize that like like um when you you know in the work world, when I work with executives or when I work or them as dads, when you can tell your kids, because I think our kids think they see mom and dad, like, oh you guys are perfect, you never you don't go through tough times.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, BS.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and you know, I that's why the more I can tell my son or daughter where I sucked or where I failed, or when I didn't this didn't happen for me, or when I struggled as a even with the golf thing.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: I I remember like my son talked yesterday, I said, Don't forget, bud, in college, dad threw four picks in the first half, almost got pulled his junior year.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now, thank God I pulled my head out of my ass and played great in the second half, and that never happened again.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: But like I I was so prepared, but four picks?
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what the hell?
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, am I blind?
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: Am I is my dad's Davy Wonder?
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how do you throw four picks?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_05: I I can I can one up that.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I see so you you mentioned some positive accolades from my Stanford kicking days.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_05: Uh later that season, this is my fifth season, fifth year.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, so this is it, second to last game of my my career.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_05: Um, Jim Harbaugh, it's his first season at Stanford, and you know, I was part of the rebuilding of that, which is awesome.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_05: So I go from making two 50-yard field goals in the first half uh earlier in the year, which is was the Stanford record at the time.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_05: Then I kicked the game winning extra point against USC when we were 43-point underdogs, right, with 30 seconds left.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm like as high as a kite, right?
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, and then the second to last game at home on national television against Notre Dame, I go 0 for 4.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_05: I miss four field goals in one game.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and uh, and we ended up losing by six.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_05: So, like, I I pretty much lost the game for the team, no matter what the coach speak is of that.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_05: So, um, among the other bad things that happened in that game.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_05: But uh guess what?
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_05: I I have the DVD copy of that game, and we watched it as a family uh about six months ago.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_05: Uh we had to fight a DVD player somewhere.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know if they even exist.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, like I think you're spot on.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, listen, our to our our we are our hero, we are heroes to our children and we are infallible, right?
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_05: Um, for the most part.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_05: And so I think like showing literally, I literally showed my kids, and we all laughed, you know, we laughed about it, and you know, they looked at me and I kind of just hung my head, partly as a joke, partly, partly because I still carry shame from that.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_05: Oh shit.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_05: 18 years later.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_05: Um I get it.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, uh, but like that, I think that's super important, like showing your kids that you can fail.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_05: You know, a couple couple years ago, I'm I'm in the midst of making taking lessons for the first time in my life in golf, and I'm playing in the US amateur qualifier, and it's a 36-hole event.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_05: Um, they don't now it's 18 and 18, but it used to be one day 36 holes.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_05: And uh I was in the middle of having the shanks for three months as I'm working my way through these lessons.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_05: And uh I actually I quit.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_05: I quit after 27 holes.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_05: I walked off the golf course because I had the shanks, you know, I had three or four, three or four shanks.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_05: Uh yeah, it's okay, it's all good.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_05: But but more but more importantly, Casey, uh there's a kid in my group, kid named Tommy Morrison, who's now a senior at Texas, and he's he's gonna be on the tour in a few years in a couple years' time, probably.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_05: And uh he was in contention.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_05: So, so part of it was my own performance.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_05: And like, I'm like, dude, I just can't keep doing this.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_05: My cousin was catting for me, and you know, I went up to him, I'm like, I can't, like, I don't know where the ball's going.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_05: Like, there's this is a safety issue.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_05: It's embarrassing.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_05: But but also like this guy, he ended up making it, and he's like, I'm looking at the leaderboard, you know, on my phone, because we do the, you know, you do live scoring.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, this kid is in, he is leading this right now.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_05: I can't do this to him.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_05: So I walked up to him and I said, hey guys, like I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna bow out.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_05: Um, it was after the 27th hole before we made the turn.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I'm like, Tommy, I can't do this to you, right?
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_05: And you're in contention.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_05: And man, that so like, so Casey, like let's just be let's just be really clear about something.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm connecting this back to the parenting thing.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_05: Um I quit.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_05: I quit.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_05: And I had to come home.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_05: And my my wife loves to make fun of me when she watches me, she follows me on the leaderboard and all these qualifiers I do.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_05: She says, Oh, I had to scroll to the bottom again, you know, and it's it's improved a lot since I've I've had a good year this year with tournaments.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_05: But uh, so she not only did she have to scroll to the bottom, she had to go all the way to the bottom and see, you know, DNF or whatever WD.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_05: And so, like, my my oldest at the time, he's seven, and he's getting smart, and he's like, Dad, what happened?
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_05: To this day, he still will bring up that I quit in that tournament.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_05: And I and I say, Yeah, buddy, and I I I should not have done that.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_05: Um, let me tell you why, and let me tell you how I've bounced back since, right?
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_05: And so, yeah, like that.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_05: I just think like owning stuff to our kids is is super important, super important.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I also think there's humility in what you did, though, and vulnerability what you did, because it's like, and I think it shows that's leadership story too, where you could say, I mean, if I'm leading and the guy's freaking hitting off the hazel left and right, and you're you know it's uncomfortable.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and everybody gets the shanks once in a while.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: And my son actually had three shanks, he's like, Oh my god.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_01: And people say, I don't know if you've heard this, but like it's like a millimeter from just flushing it.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_04: Closest thing to a perfect golf shot.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: And for everybody doesn't know, the shank is off the shaft.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's the bottom thing, it's called the hossle, and the ball will go literally dead right and literally almost kill people.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: It is, and it feels it's the worst feeling shot, and it'll it comes out of nowhere.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then it just mentally will give you nightmares for 75 years.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I didn't for I had them for six months one day.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I I I had it for a good three months.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, luckily now I know how to fix it.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_05: So, like if I get it on the range, I just kind of move on.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, what do you what for me?
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just stand a little bit further back from the ball.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do?
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_05: Uh you're supposed to try to hit it off the toe.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_05: So actually backing up is it's one way to do it, I guess.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_05: But like from a swing path, etc., and wait, weight perspective, like you're supposed to try to hit the ball off the toe, and you won't.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_05: You'll you'll end up hitting it in the center.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_05: Uh so that that is the fix.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_05: Um now I realize that's harder for some people than others, but yeah, we can we can talk about that later.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um talk to me about how did you uh decide to start a company?
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_05: So um I so I'm I'm in, I think you'll appreciate this from one entrepreneur to another.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm in I'm in business school.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_05: So let's go back.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_05: I'll try to make this quick.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I started my job at Booz Allen October 20th, 2008.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: Great time.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_05: Great time.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I realized within one week that this was not the right fit for me, that big company corporate America was not the right fit for me.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_05: Um now, if I now that I'm 40 and I've got 20 years of perspective, I certainly can function in corporate America just fine.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so I'm not totally anti.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_05: We sell into corporate America, so I'm not totally anti-big companies.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_05: But uh, as you just alluded to, what happened the next week?
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_05: The stock market went down, you know, thousands of points, and like there's nowhere to go, right?
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_05: Financial crisis just kicks off.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_05: So I hunker down for a few years and kind of grin and bear it.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but in the background, I start getting a feel on nights and weekends, moonlighting, right?
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_05: Me and a friend, ironically, the guy that I walked into that restaurant with when I met my wife, um, we start like doing some entrepreneurial things, you know, in the background.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_05: So I get they all failed, but you know, tried to launch a website or writing movie scripts and TV shows and going up to Hollywood, you know, among a bunch of other things.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_05: And uh they all failed.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_05: So when I'm in business school, I kind of am focusing on like this entrepreneurial path.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_05: Well, partly out of like existential, what should I be doing with my life, partly out of like, you know, I was taking those aptitude tests and lots of things we do in organizational behavior and whatnot.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_05: Um, partly out of like all my friends are going to resume nights and interview nights at big companies.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I don't want to do that, right?
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_05: I I this thought keeps coming back to me while I'm sitting in class, and that is, I kept thinking about how it would apply all of these principles of leadership and OB and you know, running a company and finance, all this stuff to sports.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_05: And like back to those the GM, you know, uh days and uh running how would I how would I apply this to like running a football team?
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_05: And so like I kept getting in my head, like, damn, if I don't, and then all every aptitude test since I've been old enough to think has been like you should be a leader, a coach, a politician, a teacher, right?
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_05: Like the themes of leadership.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_05: I was senior class president, like they kept circling.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_05: So basically, I decided if I don't see coaching before I turn 30, I'm gonna regret it forever.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_05: So I accelerated my MBA.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_05: I went back to Stanford and I was a graduate assistant on the staff for two years.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_05: And uh, because I was in grad, I didn't need another degree at the time, but that's the only way to get the job.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_05: I got into another grad program.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_05: Because I was a grad student while also being a coach, uh, I had to do a thesis.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_05: And my thesis was to come up with a way to train our quarterback using virtual reality.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_05: This was right around uh 2013-14.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_05: Facebook bought Oculus for like$2 billion.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_05: The cheaper, lighter, faster era VR has kicked off, you know, after two decades of starts and stops.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_05: And so my professor advisor and I were like, maybe we should try this.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_05: I run it by David Shaw.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, I'm all in, I'll support you in any way to get an A on your project.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe it'll help the team.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_05: Long story short, we make build this really cool prototype.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_05: I get an A on the project.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I meet with David Shaw in December of 2014 during bowl prep.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_05: This is a little more low-key of a time for those that have been in college football.
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I mean, you're practicing, you know, you get your 15 practices, but it's not the week-to-week grind like you have during the season.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_05: So I sat down with Dave uh for like 10 minutes after practice one night, and I said, Hey, like my time is up here in three weeks.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I'm done with the program.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_05: And like, how am I doing?
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_05: You know, should I is there a spot for me on the staff?
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_05: Like, give me some advice.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_05: And he goes, uh, you've cussed before on this podcast, so I'll say one swear word and you can edit it out if you want.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_05: He goes, You want the no bullshit answer?
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, Yeah, of course.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_05: He goes, You you're a really good coach and you could be an awesome coach if you wanted to.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but you know what it's gonna take to you know, bouncing around and blah, blah, blah, it's not gonna happen overnight.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so if you wanted to be in my shoes 10 to 15 years from now, you totally could do that.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_05: But if I were you, uh, I told you you were too smart to be a football coach when you came in here.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and now I feel that way even more.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_05: If I were you, I would go, I would go put every ounce of my energy into that thing that you built.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_05: Because I think that could be a game changer, and you have a two-year head start over everybody else.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_05: And I would love to invest if you'd be willing to take my money.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, no one can see this right now, but I just like, you know, I'm I just faint jumping out of my chair.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, oh my God, that was not what I was expecting in this conversation.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so in closing, to your the answer to your question, that was a that was one of the single most defining moments in my life outside of some stuff in my marriage and you know, having children, uh, deciding to, you know, propose and even things before that and having kids.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_05: But because it I went to business school or I went to that graduate program and I went to coach for two years, much to the chagrin of my parents, by the way, who had just written a lot of another check for more education for Derek.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_05: And they were like, What?
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_05: You're gonna go be a football coach?
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_05: Like, no way, that's not what we sent you to Stanford and USC for.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_05: And I and I I I told them, hey guys, like I'm gonna do this project while I'm coaching.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_05: Worst case scenario, I don't like coaching, or like, and I'm back in the Stanford network.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_05: Who knows what this project could lead to?
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_05: So, like, I went in with that in the back of my mind while putting every ounce of my time and energy into coaching.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_05: So when David sat me down and said that to me, I was like, holy crap, this is a sign.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_05: Like, and this is like this is like the marriage of entrepreneurship, sports, technology, Stanford.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I went home and talked to Amelia and I was like, I if I don't do this now, like when am I gonna do something like this?
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_05: You know, and so that was how it all, how it all started.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_05: And I uh January 2nd, 2015.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_05: We played our bowl game on uh December 27th.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_05: I knew I was gonna be done, took it took a week off and got to work uh a couple days later, once the new year turned.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: So how can people learn more about your company and what you guys are doing?
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_05: Uh so our website is www.striver.com, s t-r-i-v.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_05: Um, we have been for the last 10 plus years, we've been using virtual reality to train employees, whether you're an athlete or whether you're working for Walmart or Bank of America or Amazon.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um, we're actually, we've recently launched a new product that's more of like uh aimed at where augmented reality is going and like AI video, that's also on the website.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_05: So um, you know, jump in, jump in there and uh have fun if you're if you work for a large organization that would like to leverage technology to make your workforce better.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: And if they want to reach you to learn more about this, they want to, they're like, man, I'm kind of I'm intrigued by this dude.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: I like his energy.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: How do they find you?
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, uh well, I'm uh you can just email the website and and I I see everything.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_05: We're s we're even though 10 years later, we're still a startup.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_05: So I see everything.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_05: Um and then you mentioned this earlier.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_05: I I launched a podcast uh earlier this year called The Golfing CEO, which is the intersection of golf business and life.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_05: You're gonna be on that podcast probably sooner than uh maybe right around the time this one airs, we'll we'll be launching that one as well.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_05: So um that's a much more that's a much easier way to get to me.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_05: Info at thegolfing CEO.com.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_05: Just shoot an email and off we go.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_01: So what made you want to start the podcast?
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um part existential thoughts, you know, leading up to my 40th birthday.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and uh, you know, part, hey, maybe I I'm I'm putting a lot of time and energy into the startup, into my golf game, into you know, parenting.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_05: Like a lot of people write books, you know, five, 10, 20 years after the fact.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_05: Podcasts are kind of a cool way of just like writing that book in real time.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_05: So why don't I just like document this and chronicle this?
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_05: You know, um, I'm also extremely passionate about the game, Borderline Psychotic.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_05: Uh and I know that there's a lot of us out there uh as well that are in leadership roles, uh, you know, that are in uh entertainment, athletics, etc.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_05: We've been very fortunate to get some amazing guests so far.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_05: Um, we've got uh Larry Fitzgerald's gonna be released in a couple weeks, which is super cool.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_05: Um, we've had Chad Mum, uh, who's behind the full swing documentary.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_05: We're gonna get some other big-time C-sueters coming up uh in the corporate world.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_05: So it kind of all just came together, Casey.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, you know what?
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_05: I should document this journey that I am doing to try to, you mentioned this at the top of the show.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_05: I am not trying to qualify for the senior tour.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_05: I I've just turned 40.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_05: I got 10 years of good golf in me, probably, to try to Monday qualify into a PJ tour event.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, that is the goal.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and so I'm documenting that.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_05: I'm documenting, I'm documenting the equally improbable startup journey towards an exit or an IPO or something.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_05: And along the way, we're talking to amazing people like yourself that love the game and also, you know, are are CEOs of of their own brand or CEOs of their company or whatever it is.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_05: And uh it's been super fun so far and can't wait to keep going.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: So how many Monday qualifiers have you played in so far?
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, well, Casey, zero actual Monday qualifiers because if you were like me and you have no status anywhere, you can't just go into the Monday qualifier.
• 56:50
  unknown: Okay.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_05: So I have to play in Monday pre-qualifiers.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_05: So there's this whole world of uh of you know professional golf and all the mini tours and stuff.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not trying to be a pro golfer, right?
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_05: I'm trying to have these couple one-off accomplishments in my life.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_05: Um, so I've played in four Monday pre-qualifiers, including one coming up in two weeks.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_05: Um, the closest I've done, I think I shot two over in one of them and two under made it.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and that was when I wasn't as good as I am today.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_05: That was that was two years ago.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_05: So uh very much looking forward to to you know what's coming up.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_05: And uh to your point, like as it relates to the show and my podcast and how I'm gonna tell this story, I can't do one or two of these a year.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_05: I I actually need to do like, I think there's like 12 next year that are possible.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_05: I need to find a way to play in at least eight of them, right?
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_05: And and now what's that gonna take relative to my time and energy with work, with parenting, with husbanding?
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_05: Am I flying to Mississippi to do a Monday pre-quall?
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_05: Again, I gotta draw the line somewhere, right?
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_05: So that's so so we'll we'll focus on uh we'll focus on the West Coast ones next year and then we'll see what happens after that.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_01: So cool.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, it'll be fun to watch your journey, and then when I see you uh, you know, at Pebble or I see you at uh Riviera, I'm like, that's a dude who was on my podcast.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_05: There we go, hopefully.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_05: Well, the Torre Pines events in my backyard.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_05: So that that's the that'd be the big one, and we can, yeah, that that's a true open uh farmers insurance open.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_05: The other ones are a little tricky, but uh that there's also like the U.S.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_05: amateur and mid-amateur, there's big-time amateur events that you know, if you do really well on those, plus you tie that to like maybe some stuff you're doing professionally, maybe sponsors notice you and they would throw you, you know, give you a sponsor's invite or something.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_05: We've seen that with you know very big name people like Steph Curry and Tony Romo and others.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_05: So, you know, who knows?
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_05: There's a lot of ways you can get.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but you know, the the number one thing I love about golf is uh it's the ultimate meritocracy.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_05: The scorecard does not care who you are, doesn't care how tall you are, how short you are, whether you're a pro golfer, whether you're a pro basketball player, whether you're a husband, dad, CEO, doesn't care whether you're 15 or 35, 55, doesn't care.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_05: If you can shoot the score, you're in.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_05: It's that simple.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_05: And uh I love that about the game.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm gonna I'm gonna do my best relative to other day, candidly, other more important day-to-day responsibilities at home and at work.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, but that's all right.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, all right, Derek, it's now time to go on what I call the lightning round where I show you the negative hits of taking too many hits in college, not bong hits, but football hits.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_01: And your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_01: My job is to hopefully get a giggle out of you.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_05: All right.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready?
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_05: I've been ready.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_05: I've been listening to some of these, so uh I'm excited to see what you teach.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_01: I got no prop.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_01: This is just this is just the wittiness of a uh D2 quarterback coming out you love it.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you if I if if there was a trivia question about Stanford kickers, you were known as the Ray Finkel of Stanford.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is that a true or false question?
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_05: Oh man, it's been so long since I've seen that movie.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, probably true.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, probably true.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_05: He missed kicks, right?
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_05: So probably true.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, but you made some too.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_05: I made more than I missed, but not many.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_01: So probably true.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_01: Favorite Stanford quarterback of all time is well, one of my best friends is Trent Edwards, who I played with.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_05: So that's that's an easy one.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_05: But man, you gotta love watching what Andrew Luck did when he was there.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, he's he's putting the program on his back to revitalize it.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_05: I just saw him a couple months ago, and he's he's he's gonna he's gonna do a great job.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_05: So a 1A and 1B.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_01: What about what about Jimmy Plunkett?
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_05: Doesn't he have to I was I wasn't even alive at the time, so I I can't.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, Plunkett, John Elway, Steve Stenstrom.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, there have been some awesome uh John Lynch actually is a Torrey Pines High School alum where I went.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_05: I know John, he's he's awesome.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_05: He went in as a quarterback and then they transitioned into safety.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_05: There have been some damn good quarterbacks that have come out of Stanford.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but many of them were before my time.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_05: So Trent's one of my best friends, I'd get in big trouble if I didn't say that.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_05: And and uh Andrew, you know, Andrew obviously was just an absolute stud and he's a he's a great guy.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_01: So if uh if I went into your phone and and and listened to uh to like the last couple songs played, what what what might surprise what might surprise me?
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_05: I am I am such a uh teeny bopper.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_05: So I I mean I I think 80% of the songs I listen to are OG Taylor Swift.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, there we go.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, her first four albums, like I I don't get sick of any of those songs.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and then the extension off of those are uh uh I like a lot of I mean listen, I grew up Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Christine Aguilera.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_05: So those all those, all of those and other like similar poppy and Dua Lipa today and Ariana Grande.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_05: I I can't get enough of that music, which probably surprises a lot of people.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_01: Love it, man.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, if I came to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_04: What did I say earlier?
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_04: Probably chicken.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_04: What are we gonna have?
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_04: Breaded chicken, barbecued chicken, uh married meat chicken, chicken parmesan.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_04: Good chance.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, good chance we're gonna have something chicken related.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you and the wife are going on vacation.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, kids, you're staying home.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_01: Where are you taking her?
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, funny story, we tried to do this a year ago to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, and and uh we went just up to Dana Point.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, we had a free night at the Ritz-Carlton, and uh we were supposed to come home at 5 p.m.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_05: the next day.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_05: And we I think we came home at 11 a.m.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_05: because we we couldn't couldn't resist.
• 1:02:29
  SPEAKER_05: We we we we missed our kids.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_05: It's sad, actually.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_05: It's sad.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_05: Um so sad.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_05: So the answer to that, Casey, is I don't know.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_05: But uh, but but but we do have a very strong if if uh we do have a very strong affinity for Ireland.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_05: Um we've gone three times as a family, and um, so I think if I think if we just had carte blanche and we knew we were gonna get to and from safely, and we knew our kids were gonna you know still be alive when we came home uh and grandma and grandpa wouldn't mess something up.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I think we would go to Ireland for a week together and I would go play golf and she would do whatever, and then we would, you know, we'd we'd mix and match everything.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_01: So love it.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_01: If there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_01: I've I've been thinking about this one.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_05: Um probably misunderstood.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_05: A lot of a lot of your viewers, a lot of your, I guess, have been saying one word title.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_05: So I was trying to think of something different, but uh probably misunderstood.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_05: Um I like that one.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I'm uh I I I I have a loud, deep, monotone voice.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_05: Um, and I I you know uh I'm very serious.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_05: I I take things very seriously, but I don't take life seriously, and I think that's often misunderstood, you know.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_05: Um like when I coach the kids' teams, I'm I take the coaching very seriously.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_05: Uh uh, but I don't take I don't take the outcome of the games seriously.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_05: To me, the outcome is did they get better, did they have fun?
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_05: Are they, you know, are are they are we improving throughout the year?
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_05: Um do they want to come back the next week, the next season?
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_05: And unfortunately, I I don't think a lot of uh youth sports coaches and parents uh look at it that way.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_05: And so probably misunderstood, because because what what you see on the surface uh isn't always what's what's going on below the surface.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_01: So love that, ma'am.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so now we we can't we can't keep enough copies.
• 1:04:27
  SPEAKER_01: You mentioned Amazon, they're printing them left and right.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um uh Barnes Noble, they're sold out.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone's sold out.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_01: Airports can't find them there.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna make a movie out of this bad boy.
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um Netflix and Hulu, they're all fighting for it.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_01: You're now the casting director, and I need to know who's gonna star you in this critically acclaimed Hit New movie.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_01: I've thinking about this one too.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_05: I don't have a good answer.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_05: Uh growing up, growing up, I would have said Tom Cruise because I liked, I liked or Tom Cruise looked to you.
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe yeah, but he's like crazy.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, I I we I think the the the older I get and the more I you know see all these celebrities in the news and Scientology and more the more the the old the rose colored glasses come off, right?
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm like, I don't know.
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_05: But that's who I was a big fan of him growing up, uh and a big Pierce Brosnan fan because I loved the loved all the James Bond movies.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_05: But probably uh that's who I would have said growing up.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_05: Today, I don't know, John Cusack, maybe he's got he's got good hair.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_05: I've I've got I've got a good head of hair.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_01: Love it.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good answer.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_01: I like who I'm a big Cusack guy.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um okay, and then last and most important question tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 1:05:36
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_05: Just just such an amazing human being.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_01: Hyphenated, amazing human being.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_05: No, that's not the word.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_05: The word is amazing, just in all facets.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, she she truly is my better half.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_03: And then uh the second word is sane.
• 1:05:59
  SPEAKER_03: She's just like no stress.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_03: She's just sane.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_05: Like her sanity was what attracted me to her.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like that's a good one.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I I could just tell within within on our first date, I could tell this woman is is marriage material and mother material.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_05: And she is no drama, no frills, low stress, like our like it's just it's eat listen, we're not we're not a perfect couple, no one is, right?
• 1:06:27
  SPEAKER_05: We have our fair share of uh fair share of things that we argue about or you know can't somehow you know get over the hump on together, but like our marriage is not hard.
• 1:06:39
  SPEAKER_05: And it's because of she's just like sane, she's just sane.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how else to say it.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's it's a good one, man.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_01: As you said that, I mean it's just it's like when when you're around people who are like that, they they bring the stress level down and it calms you.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's a it's like the flight attendant that looks calm when you're going through turbulence.
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_01: So uh lightning rounds complete.
• 1:07:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, fantastic conversation, man.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so grateful that you took time out of your day to spend with us.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so grateful for that I ran across Michael Leonard.
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_01: I never haven't met him yet, but my son has.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_01: My son played in an event with him, which that was the coolest story ever.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm a big fan of his podcast, and I'm gonna uh I love what you're doing.
• 1:07:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's so much cool um content that you're gonna put out there for people to uh listen to.
• 1:07:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we'll make sure people can connect uh and check out Striver that they're intrigued by the virtual virtual reality and how they can use technology to train employees and learn more about what you're doing.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but more importantly, man, thanks for being a great dad and thanks for um sharing how you're working hard and and even sharing and maybe there's some mistakes you made.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think that'll speak to a lot of dads at home.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_01: But I wish you nothing but the best, man, and I hope to see you on CBS one Sunday in the final round with uh with Rory.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_01: You never know.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_05: No, you never know.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_05: That would be that would be nice for you.
• 1:07:57
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, thanks, Casey.
• 1:07:58
  SPEAKER_05: Uh a lot of fun, and uh again, this is this is a topic that there are very few things that are more important than this topic.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_05: So I really applaud what you're doing, and uh thanks for having me on.
• 1:08:09
  SPEAKER_01: You bet bye.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_01: Bye bye.