Latest / Arroe Collins Like It's Live / Celebrating Fathers When Everybody Else Said No Journalist Leland Vittert

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Celebrating Fathers When Everybody Else Said No Journalist Leland Vittert · Arroe Collins Like It's Live

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  Speaker 1: The place to be is erro dot net a r
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  Speaker 1: What's happening with you?
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  Speaker 2: Nothing?
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  Speaker 3: Just here here in New York and talking talking about
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  Speaker 3: Father's Day.
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  Speaker 1: You're in Charlotte, Yes, sir, Yes, sir. And I gotta
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  Speaker 1: tell you, Oh, I prayed for this moment way back
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  Speaker 1: when we talked in October of twenty twenty five, because
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  Speaker 1: I just knew we weren't done and and and one
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  Speaker 1: of the invitations I shared with you is please come
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  Speaker 1: back to this show anytime in the future. And and
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  Speaker 1: and the and the blessing has been answered. And I
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  Speaker 1: because we're not done yet, and that your book has
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  Speaker 1: opened up so many doors for people to take a
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  Speaker 1: better look and a better understanding. And it changed me
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  Speaker 1: because it's like, how can I work closer with somebody
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  Speaker 1: who may be facing this because I know through you
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  Speaker 1: that there is greater things on the other side if
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  Speaker 1: we get beyond the book cover.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I love that, Thank you very much.
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  Speaker 1: You're making a difference, You're making a change, and to
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  Speaker 1: be so out there that takes courage and confidence. Never
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  Speaker 1: once in my heart did I feel like that you
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  Speaker 1: were being a journalist or a reporter in this book.
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  Speaker 1: It's almost like you've come over here and we're sharing
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  Speaker 1: some Southern sweet tea and we're just having a conversation.
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  Speaker 2: Well, thank thank you, thank you.
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  Speaker 1: To put it into words, though, Leland, what was that
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  Speaker 1: like for you.
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  Speaker 3: Writing the book? Sharing you know, the deepest, darkest parts
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  Speaker 3: of your life and telling those stories on national television
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  Speaker 3: is a little bit like sitting in a bathtub full
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  Speaker 3: of scissors. It won't kill you, but there are more
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  Speaker 3: enjoyable ways to spend your days. Not that being with
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  Speaker 3: you here arrow isn't wonderful.
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  Speaker 2: But the so the story of born.
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  Speaker 3: Lucky, writing it and telling it is a love letter
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  Speaker 3: to my father been very meaningful with him. What's far
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  Speaker 3: more meaningful is what you pointed out, which is, after
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  Speaker 3: this book came out in September, the response we have
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  Speaker 3: gotten from fathers and families around the country, grandparents, mothers,
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  Speaker 3: that their lives have been changed because they don't feel
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  Speaker 3: like they're alone anymore. Yes, that Born Lucky is proof
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  Speaker 3: of the mountain moving power of parental love, what George
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  Speaker 3: Will said. But it's also proof there is hope for
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  Speaker 3: so many families of kids having a hard time. Doesn't
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  Speaker 3: matter if it's autism or anxiety, doesn't matter if it's
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  Speaker 3: ADHD or physical disabilities, or bullying or just the social
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  Speaker 3: media hell that kids now go through growing up. Born
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  Speaker 3: Lucky is proof that there is hope.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I mean, that's one of the things that
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  Speaker 1: we have faced in so many years. Because of people
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  Speaker 1: like yourself, we're able to put it on the front
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  Speaker 1: page of our conversations because I'll never forget my mother,
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  Speaker 1: as well as Mike mac and all these other people
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  Speaker 1: that I've been associated with that have said, what do
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  Speaker 1: you mean my son has autism? No he doesn't. He's
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  Speaker 1: just as normal as you. And you grow from that
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  Speaker 1: and you have the strength from those fathers who stood next.
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  Speaker 1: And that's why I'm so inspired by your father, because
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  Speaker 1: he knew in his heart there is going to be
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  Speaker 1: lives that are going to change because of my son.
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  Speaker 3: Well, there was a big distance from where I was
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  Speaker 3: when I was diagnosed to eight years old to now,
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  Speaker 3: and my dad's quest was to adapt me to the
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  Speaker 3: world rather than the world to me. Yes, sir, it
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  Speaker 3: was very clear that I had some serious issues and
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  Speaker 3: he was going to do his best to teach me
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  Speaker 3: how to deal with them. When I was eight years old,
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  Speaker 3: my parents were told they needed to have me evaluated.
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  Speaker 3: The worst thing than any any parent can hear. They
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  Speaker 3: took me to a medical testing building. We've all been there,
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  Speaker 3: with the linoleum floors and the stale coffee, uncomfortable furniture.
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  Speaker 3: My parents sat there for a couple of hours. I
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  Speaker 3: thumbed through some bad magazines because there weren't cell phones
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  Speaker 3: back then. And the woman came back and said, your
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  Speaker 3: son's got big problems. Big behavioral problems. If somebody looks
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  Speaker 3: at him the wrong way, he'll turn around and slug him.
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  Speaker 3: Big big sensory problems. If he has a jacket or
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  Speaker 3: socks on he doesn't like or anything like that, he'll
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  Speaker 3: melt down. And then also big learning problems. I had
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  Speaker 3: about twenty point spread in your IQ between the two
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  Speaker 3: scores is a learning disability. I had a seventy point spread,
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  Speaker 3: so the biggest spread they'd ever see, ever seen. And
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  Speaker 3: the woman says, to my parents, you know, there's not much.
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  Speaker 2: He can do. You just kind of have to meet
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  Speaker 2: him where he's at.
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  Speaker 3: And my dad said, I'm gonna meet him where's at,
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  Speaker 3: but I'm gona tell him where we're going because because
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  Speaker 3: I'm gonna.
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  Speaker 2: Have to teach him how to adapt to the world.
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  Speaker 3: My parents told no one about my diagnosis, but worked
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  Speaker 3: with me every day, every hour, every minute to try
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  Speaker 3: and adapt. You know, the first thing my dad wanted
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  Speaker 3: to do do is teach me what self esteem was.
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  Speaker 3: So two hundred push ups a day, five days a
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  Speaker 3: week because I wasn't gonna be good at school, I
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  Speaker 3: wasn't gonna have friends, and I wasn't gonna be good
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  Speaker 3: at athletics. So we had to figure out how to
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  Speaker 3: teach me self esteem. And those are the lessons of
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  Speaker 3: Born Lucky that my dad sort of, minute by minute
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  Speaker 3: was teaching me how the world was.
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  Speaker 1: Please do not move. There's more with Leland Viddert coming
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  Speaker 1: up next the name of his book, Born Lucky. We
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  Speaker 1: are back with journalists and author Leland Viddert. You're showing
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  Speaker 1: people that, yes, my child could need some special needs.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, even with my own brother, I never saw
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  Speaker 1: him as what everybody else said he was. It was
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  Speaker 1: always like, show me how to do something. Teddy showed
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  Speaker 1: me how to do it, because you have this this
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  Speaker 1: knowledge that I can't seem to tap into. And I
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  Speaker 1: told him, I said, I think I'm the one that
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  Speaker 1: they should be laughing at, not you. And and because
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  Speaker 1: because you, if you sit down and learn, you will
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  Speaker 1: you will grow together. And that's what I feel inside
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  Speaker 1: these pages.
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  Speaker 2: Well, thank you.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, born Lucky is a love is a love letter.
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  Speaker 3: It's a love letter from me to my father about
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  Speaker 3: his and my relationship. And I think what's so remarkable
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  Speaker 3: is how many parents feel the same way my dad did,
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  Speaker 3: and how many spend nights crying the way my dad
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  Speaker 3: did down in the living room. My dad often would
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  Speaker 3: leave my bedroom after taking the emotional and physical cruelty
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  Speaker 3: that had been inflicted on me upon himself. He'd let
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  Speaker 3: me yell or scream or talk or whatever it was,
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  Speaker 3: and then would he would go downstairs and he would
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  Speaker 3: sit in the living room on a blue couch by
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  Speaker 3: himself in the darkness and cry because he felt the
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  Speaker 3: world had turned against him and turned against his son,
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  Speaker 3: and there are so many families that feel that way,
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  Speaker 3: even if the kid doesn't have a diagnosis. Just growing
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  Speaker 3: up is hard, and parents are watching their kids struggle.
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  Speaker 3: It's hard, and this is proof that it gets better.
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  Speaker 3: It's also proof that the adversity is tempering, and so
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  Speaker 3: often parents want to take the adversity away. How do
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  Speaker 3: I make this easier here? That's not what my dad
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  Speaker 3: did with me. He walked with me through the adversity
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  Speaker 3: and held my hand, and that, to me is what
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  Speaker 3: really made such an enormous difference.
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  Speaker 1: So how did your father share with you the goal
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  Speaker 1: of having eye to eye contact? And number two, to
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  Speaker 1: be able to locate humor? Because I mean, like I said,
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  Speaker 1: I surround myself with those that have needs and to
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  Speaker 1: be able to sit down with am Ontario and I
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  Speaker 1: can't get him to laugh. I'm gonna figure it out.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm using your book to sit there and to
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  Speaker 1: listen to what you're saying in your stories so I
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  Speaker 1: can take it back to my own connections here. So
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  Speaker 1: how did you learn eye to eye contact?
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  Speaker 3: Well, spend a lot of time with dad telling me
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  Speaker 3: you need to look me in the eye, and you
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  Speaker 3: need to look other folks in the eye. But autism
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  Speaker 3: I equated to alcoholism. It's something you got to work
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  Speaker 3: at every single day, every hour, and I still fail.
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  Speaker 3: A couple of months ago, I was playing golf with
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  Speaker 3: this guy, older man with my father in law. Round
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  Speaker 3: ends and I completely failed. So we're in the parking
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  Speaker 3: lot and I was trying to stuff my golf bag
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  Speaker 3: into the travel bag and frustrated and late, and this
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  Speaker 3: guy walks over and he's trying to talk to me. Hey, Lucky,
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  Speaker 3: and he's sort of waving at me, and I'm sitting
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  Speaker 3: down on the ground and I go, huh, didn't look up,
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  Speaker 3: and I could hear as he was talking to me.
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  Speaker 3: My dad say, okay, Lucky, you need to stop. You
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  Speaker 3: need to stand up, and you look mister McGillicutty in
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  Speaker 3: the eye. Tell him how tell him about the golf game.
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  Speaker 3: Listen to what he's saying. Smile, You're not that late.
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  Speaker 3: Whatever it is, and classic autism is being task focused.
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  Speaker 3: I couldn't do it. I couldn't break away, and it
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  Speaker 3: was a profound moment in my mind of failure. I
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  Speaker 3: sent mister McGillicutty, whatever the guy's name was a note
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  Speaker 3: and just said, hey, look, I'm really sorry. I'm embarrassed
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  Speaker 3: of how i treated you. But I didn't say, by
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  Speaker 3: the way, that was my autism or oh, you know,
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  Speaker 3: that's my autism speaking thank you, because my dad taught
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  Speaker 3: me you can never use this as an excuse excuse
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  Speaker 3: and he didn't tell me about my diagnosis. So I
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  Speaker 3: was in my twenties, but it was very important to
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  Speaker 3: him that I never be labeled by it. But I
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  Speaker 3: never labeled myself by it. The standard is the standard.
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  Speaker 3: You got to figure out a way to meet it.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know how time flies by every time we
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  Speaker 1: get together. I'm going to pray again that you and
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  Speaker 1: I continue this conversation because this is an everyday moment.
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  Speaker 1: Please let people know where they can find out more
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  Speaker 1: about everything that you're involved in, because you really are
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  Speaker 1: that open door.
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  Speaker 3: Well you're nice to say that. Born Lucky's available on
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  Speaker 3: Amazon right now. A great Father's Day present for all
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  Speaker 3: the fathers in your life and mothers in your life
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  Speaker 3: as well. But Father's ahead of Father's Day is the
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  Speaker 3: proof of what great fathers can do and telling fathers
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  Speaker 3: they're not alone even when they're having a hard time
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  Speaker 3: and struggling, and obviously I'm available on social media.
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  Speaker 1: Leeland Eddard, Well, your father is an amazing man and
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  Speaker 1: we're going through a generation right now where fathers who
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  Speaker 1: is finally starting to show up at the grocery stores
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  Speaker 1: with their kids. I never had that as a child.
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  Speaker 1: And for you to be talking openly about your father
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  Speaker 1: the way that he is, it's not just a day
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  Speaker 1: on the calendar Father's Day. It is a celebration of
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  Speaker 1: their knowledge and their leadership.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I could not have said it better. My best.
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  Speaker 1: Will you be brilliant today?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, sir, thank you, errow all the best.