Latest / Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist / S4E12 - How Do I Reduce My Child's Screen Time Without Constant Battles?
Transcript
- 0:02You're listening to the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast
- 0:06with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
- 0:09Hi,
- 0:10I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
- 0:11The Kid Counselor.
- 0:11This is the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast where I
- 0:14answer real parenting questions about behavior,
- 0:16emotions,
- 0:17and the parent-child relationship.
- 0:19In today's episode,
- 0:20I'm answering a question from Mariah.
- 0:22Thank you for the question,
- 0:24Mariah.
- 0:24I'm happy to dive into this.
- 0:26And
- 0:28it's really interesting because
- 0:30for a lot of
- 0:32new listeners or people that are finding the podcast recently,
- 0:36There's so much information.
- 0:37I mean,
- 0:37this is the 4th season,
- 0:39and if you go back and listen to previous seasons,
- 0:41you know,
- 0:41I mean,
- 0:41there's all kinds of content about child-centered
- 0:43play therapy through the lens of parenting.
- 0:46There's questions that I've been answering over the course of years.
- 0:49There are series that I've done.
- 0:50I did the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series in season 3.
- 0:53So,
- 0:54there's a lot to unpack.
- 0:55There's a lot there.
- 0:56So,
- 0:56for those of you that are new,
- 0:57those of you that have just found out about the podcast recently,
- 1:00first,
- 1:00welcome,
- 1:01and we're so glad you're here.
- 1:02And secondly,
- 1:04don't feel overwhelmed by the mountains of information in front of
- 1:08you that you could put into your ears from the airwaves.
- 1:11Know that each season serves a different purpose,
- 1:14and so you can hop around,
- 1:15you can listen to one season at a time,
- 1:17you can binge listen from season one all the way through,
- 1:20whatever makes the most sense for you,
- 1:22but
- 1:22know that this is more of a resource for you
- 1:26than it is meant to feel like a burden or an expectation.
- 1:29You know,
- 1:30everybody that's a part of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast family,
- 1:34we love kids,
- 1:34we care about kids,
- 1:36and we're trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can.
- 1:39And so,
- 1:39this is meant to be encouraging and uplifting and
- 1:42feel supportive,
- 1:44not draining and overwhelming.
- 1:45So,
- 1:45if you feel like there's a lot out there,
- 1:47there is,
- 1:47but you can just kind of take it at your own pace and go through it as you're able.
- 1:51So,
- 1:52that's my little encouragement for all of you newbies and.
- 1:54For those of my vets that have been with me forever,
- 1:56I mean,
- 1:57this podcast has been running for 10 years,
- 1:59which is absolutely crazy.
- 2:01So,
- 2:01for those of you that have been around the block with me,
- 2:03thank you for hanging on and for caring about your kids and
- 2:07wanting to hang out with me each week.
- 2:08I appreciate y'all.
- 2:10OK,
- 2:10so let me read parts of Mariah's email and then we will dive in.
- 2:15I've been having my husband and the grandparents listen also,
- 2:18so we're all on the same page.
- 2:20I've been binge listening and your podcasts are so intriguing.
- 2:23I'm so thrilled when
- 2:24one person finds the podcast and then kind
- 2:27of disseminates the information to all important people.
- 2:30So,
- 2:30yeah,
- 2:30I mean,
- 2:31spouses,
- 2:31grandparents,
- 2:32aunts,
- 2:32uncles,
- 2:33whoever,
- 2:33it's always helpful when everyone gets to hear
- 2:35the same language and the same approach.
- 2:37So I'm excited about that.
- 2:39I have been trying to implement the four pillars with my kids.
- 2:43However,
- 2:43I don't want to add too much all at once.
- 2:45My main concern and reason I'm reaching out today is screens.
- 2:48One of your favorite topics in parentheses.
- 2:50Yes,
- 2:51one of my
- 2:52favorite and least favorite simultaneously,
- 2:54I would argue.
- 2:55I have your book on order as I speak.
- 2:57I,
- 2:57I hope that you find that really helpful,
- 2:59Mariah.
- 3:00It's
- 3:01something that I'm really passionate about.
- 3:02I mean,
- 3:02just because of my own story and in the book I talk about
- 3:05how I realized that screens were a concern with our own child.
- 3:09And who is almost 17.
- 3:10Literally next month he's going to be 17,
- 3:12which that is both exciting and alarming.
- 3:16But,
- 3:16you know,
- 3:17he's taller than me and weighs 190 pounds.
- 3:19And so,
- 3:20I mean,
- 3:20he's,
- 3:21he's not my little guy anymore,
- 3:22but he's still my baby.
- 3:23So
- 3:24I,
- 3:24I absolutely understand the importance of
- 3:28being aware of what screens do and protecting kids from them.
- 3:32And so I hope that that book is helpful to you.
- 3:35It started when they were young.
- 3:37They were handed a tablet,
- 3:38and my two older ones have had a tablet ever since.
- 3:40Yes,
- 3:41they're on it most of the day,
- 3:42every day.
- 3:42They even go to bed with the TV on,
- 3:44which we set a timer for 30 minutes.
- 3:47That is why,
- 3:47knowing now everything I know from listening to you,
- 3:49I hate to admit it,
- 3:50and it makes me sick to my stomach to witness.
- 3:52Let me pause there because there's more to the email,
- 3:54but Mariah,
- 3:55let me give you a little bit of encouragement.
- 3:58If
- 3:59We blame ourselves for things that we don't know.
- 4:03That's a fool's errand.
- 4:05No one ever knows what they don't know.
- 4:07That's one of the phrases we use in therapy a lot.
- 4:09You don't know what you don't know.
- 4:11So you can't hold yourself responsible and accountable for not knowing something.
- 4:15What you can hold yourself responsible and accountable to is once you do know,
- 4:19what are you going to do with the new information,
- 4:21you know,
- 4:22with knowledge comes responsibility,
- 4:23and that's true of all things in our lives.
- 4:25So once we are made aware of how damaging and dangerous screens are,
- 4:29for example,
- 4:31we say,
- 4:31All right,
- 4:32well now that I know,
- 4:33and we make changes.
- 4:35And you know,
- 4:35I obviously that's what you're trying to do.
- 4:37You're emailing me,
- 4:38you've you've bought the book,
- 4:39so
- 4:40understandably,
- 4:40yes,
- 4:40we can look back and go,
- 4:41oh my gosh,
- 4:42I'm,
- 4:42I'm so sad about that,
- 4:44or I wish I would have known,
- 4:45or
- 4:45it like really upsets me to think about that.
- 4:48However,
- 4:49one of our rules of thumb.
- 4:51What's most important may not be what you do,
- 4:53but what you do after what you've done.
- 4:56And that applies here because
- 4:58what you did was you gave your kids screens and tablets and they've
- 5:01had them and they're on them a lot and you didn't know.
- 5:04But now that you do know,
- 5:06what's most important is what you do after what you did.
- 5:08So you've given them the tablet,
- 5:10but now you can change that.
- 5:11And so we're going to move forward
- 5:13and we know that changes will take place because of the knowledge.
- 5:17OK,
- 5:17so continuing.
- 5:19I've taken your recommendation on monitoring and
- 5:21seeing how much they're on screens,
- 5:22and until you actually keep track,
- 5:24you don't even realize how much it adds up.
- 5:26I 100% agree with you,
- 5:29and interestingly,
- 5:31most people underreport
- 5:33until they actually take time to legit track it.
- 5:36They'll say like,
- 5:37oh,
- 5:37I mean,
- 5:37I think probably only like 3 hours,
- 5:39and then if they track it,
- 5:40it's like 6.
- 5:41And so that is often shocking.
- 5:43I 100% agree.
- 5:44You have no idea until you actually add it up.
- 5:47In one podcast I listened to,
- 5:48you stated to have them earn screen time in small amounts.
- 5:51They do get an allowance,
- 5:52however,
- 5:53I was thinking of incorporating this with their chores as well,
- 5:56so they could get money and screen time.
- 5:59With them basically having screens all their life,
- 6:01how do I go about this change?
- 6:02Do I slowly wean them off?
- 6:04Do I set their amount of time for their screen usage and go to that straight away?
- 6:08I've been trying to explain to my son that I'm just trying to keep him safe
- 6:11and how bad screens are for his brain and in general how bad they are.
- 6:15Obviously he's not really understanding because they live in their hearts.
- 6:18So how do I explain this to him and my daughter so that they get it?
- 6:22OK,
- 6:23so quite a few questions we're gonna tackle there together and
- 6:28Mariah,
- 6:28I'm actually grateful that you submitted this question.
- 6:31I'm,
- 6:31I'm appreciative of your vulnerability because
- 6:34I can guarantee you
- 6:36if we look at
- 6:37numbers and stats.
- 6:4095 out of 100 people listening to this podcast
- 6:43are in exactly the same position that you're in,
- 6:46and hopefully this is a little bit of a PSA.
- 6:48It's a little bit of a wake-up call.
- 6:50It's a little bit of a reminder
- 6:52of how careful we need to be with screens.
- 6:54So,
- 6:54if nothing else,
- 6:55this is going to serve as a little light bulb for a lot of parents
- 6:59that are listening,
- 6:59and they're gonna go,
- 7:00gosh,
- 7:00I really need to
- 7:01clamp down on my kids' screens.
- 7:03I really need to be more aware of that.
- 7:05I need to make sure that we have appropriate amount of screen use every day.
- 7:08So,
- 7:09even just the fact that we're talking about it is going to be really helpful,
- 7:11but I do
- 7:12definitely want to give you answers to your questions too,
- 7:14Mariah.
- 7:14So,
- 7:16All right,
- 7:16we know that they're used to a lot.
- 7:18So one of the things,
- 7:19and you probably have the book by this 0.1 of the things that
- 7:22I talk about in the book is it's going to be really hard
- 7:25to implement changes related to screens
- 7:28without a couple of considerations.
- 7:30The first is you need to be prepared for a battle,
- 7:33and I don't say that to discourage you.
- 7:34I don't say that to
- 7:36make you feel wary of even trying this,
- 7:39but
- 7:39we can always handle things if we're prepared,
- 7:42and if we're unprepared,
- 7:43things feel a lot worse.
- 7:45So it is more helpful for you to go,
- 7:48my kids are probably really going to fight back on this.
- 7:50My kids are probably going to get really angry.
- 7:53I might have tantrums.
- 7:54I might have screaming.
- 7:55I might have crying.
- 7:56I might have begging.
- 7:57I might have refusal to do all kinds of things.
- 8:00If you know that those are potential outcomes
- 8:03to changing the screen times.
- 8:06Then you will say,
- 8:07OK,
- 8:08I had a feeling this was going to happen.
- 8:10OK,
- 8:10I anticipated this,
- 8:12and you will feel more equipped to handle it.
- 8:14So I think that's step one.
- 8:16Now,
- 8:16your kids may not buck that hard,
- 8:18but
- 8:19I would be surprised if they don't buck at least a little bit.
- 8:23So you're going to get some bucking is,
- 8:24is the moral of that story.
- 8:25So all y'all,
- 8:26all y'all,
- 8:27that's my Southern lingo right there.
- 8:28All y'all need to be prepared
- 8:31for if you start implementing changes in screen time,
- 8:34meaning reducing it.
- 8:36Regulating it,
- 8:37making sure that it is an appropriate amount.
- 8:40Kids are going to fight.
- 8:42It is addictive.
- 8:44It
- 8:45changes chemicals.
- 8:47They have dopamine as a result of screen time.
- 8:50They have adrenaline as a result of screen time.
- 8:52Their fight or flight is triggered as a result of screen time.
- 8:55Their cortisol levels change as a result of screen time.
- 8:59They have all kinds of stuff going on in their bodies and their brains
- 9:01chemically,
- 9:02hormonally,
- 9:03physiologically,
- 9:04neurobiologically.
- 9:06I know that's a lot of allies,
- 9:07but
- 9:08all of that is relevant.
- 9:09So when we,
- 9:10we know,
- 9:11when we take that away.
- 9:13You're essentially,
- 9:14and I don't mean to be alarming,
- 9:16especially if you haven't read the book and if you don't know about this stuff,
- 9:19but
- 9:20this is an addiction
- 9:22just like drugs,
- 9:23just like alcohol,
- 9:25just like cigarettes,
- 9:26just like gambling,
- 9:28just like shopping,
- 9:29just like sex,
- 9:30all the addictions,
- 9:31all the vices that we have in the world,
- 9:34screens are exactly the same.
- 9:36And so your kids are essentially going to go through withdrawal.
- 9:40And are withdrawal symptoms fun to any
- 9:43substance?
- 9:44No,
- 9:44they are not.
- 9:45So your kids are going to be reeling from this to some degree,
- 9:48maybe not
- 9:49terribly,
- 9:50but to some degree,
- 9:51be prepared for that.
- 9:53The second thought is
- 9:54the book talks about
- 9:57going
- 9:57at
- 9:58a very intentional
- 10:00pace and process here.
- 10:02In other words,
- 10:03if you start implementing the child-centered play therapy principles,
- 10:06you said you've been implementing 4 pillars,
- 10:08that's going to be a huge help to you as you do this
- 10:12because you're going to need to validate your child's feelings.
- 10:14You don't need to reflect them,
- 10:16that they're upset,
- 10:17that they're confused,
- 10:18that they're frustrated,
- 10:19that they're angry,
- 10:21that they're sad,
- 10:22that they're grieving.
- 10:24All of those emotions are possible and relevant,
- 10:27so you're going to use reflecting feelings.
- 10:29You're going to use limit setting.
- 10:32You really want to be on screens right now,
- 10:35but
- 10:36you have an hour a day and you've already used your hour.
- 10:38You can choose to have more time tomorrow.
- 10:41That's the ACT limit setting process.
- 10:44That's going to be very important for making sure the child understands the limits.
- 10:48Then you're going to give choices.
- 10:50That may be how you work your chores in,
- 10:52Mariah.
- 10:53So,
- 10:54you can choose to
- 10:57Do
- 10:59I don't know.
- 11:00Gosh,
- 11:00yard work.
- 11:01You didn't tell me how old your kids are,
- 11:02did you?
- 11:03No,
- 11:03you didn't.
- 11:03So,
- 11:04I'm not really sure exactly how old your kids are.
- 11:06Yard work may not be an option,
- 11:07but
- 11:08in my,
- 11:08in my world,
- 11:09yard work is an option for my almost 17-year-old.
- 11:11So
- 11:12you can choose to do yard work or you can choose to vacuum.
- 11:15You can choose to wash windows or you can choose to do the dishes.
- 11:18You can choose to whatever.
- 11:21There are ways that you can provide empowerment choices.
- 11:25That help the child feel that they have some measure of control
- 11:28that's tied to their screens.
- 11:30So
- 11:30you're going to earn 30 minutes of screen time
- 11:33for 30 minutes of chores.
- 11:35So you can choose to do 30 minutes of chore A
- 11:38or you can choose to do 30 minutes of chore B,
- 11:40which do you choose?
- 11:41And then that earns them 30 minutes of screen time.
- 11:44So that is another way that you could use
- 11:47one of the
- 11:48child-centered play therapy principles and then encouragement.
- 11:51You know,
- 11:52a child's going to feel pretty deflated
- 11:54when they're used to hours and hours of screens a day and
- 11:56all of a sudden they're not going to have it anymore.
- 11:58They're going to have to learn how to be creative.
- 12:00They're going to have to learn how to be imaginative.
- 12:02They're going to have to learn to socialize.
- 12:04They're going to have to learn to engage.
- 12:06It's actually going to reset their nervous system.
- 12:09They'll they'll actually be able to move into rest and
- 12:10digest instead of fight and flight all the time.
- 12:13They'll probably sleep better.
- 12:14They'll probably interact better.
- 12:16They'll probably communicate better.
- 12:17There's going to be all of these positive changes on the other side of it,
- 12:20but it doesn't make it easy in the meantime.
- 12:22So we're going to use a lot of encouragement.
- 12:25You got it.
- 12:26You did it.
- 12:27You figured it out.
- 12:28You knew what to do.
- 12:29You had a plan.
- 12:30In everyday life as they're doing things.
- 12:34They're going to need to hear
- 12:35the encouragement and the esteem building responses.
- 12:38So that's how you can use child-centered play therapy
- 12:40principles as you transition into less screen time.
- 12:45And
- 12:46As far as how to explain it.
- 12:49One of the most important things that I've said to our son since he was 6 years old,
- 12:54that's when all this began.
- 12:56He was 6 years old,
- 12:58and when I started doing research and started reading about this
- 13:01and seeing all the articles and seeing everything coming out,
- 13:03and
- 13:04I was just shocked,
- 13:05horrified actually,
- 13:06that
- 13:07I was onto something.
- 13:08Like screens are bad for kids.
- 13:10Look at all this stuff that I'm finding.
- 13:12And that was a decade ago,
- 13:13and there's only more.
- 13:14That has come out.
- 13:15I mean,
- 13:15just recently,
- 13:16last week,
- 13:17a huge study came out
- 13:18about how shorts,
- 13:19reels,
- 13:20and TikTok,
- 13:21it's literally like damaging children.
- 13:23And there was this whole huge research study that came out about that.
- 13:27More and more and more is coming out.
- 13:28So,
- 13:29we know how bad it is.
- 13:31One of the things that I started saying to my son
- 13:33for the last 10 years,
- 13:34but it's been consistent.
- 13:38You really want to be on screens,
- 13:40but what's my job?
- 13:42And
- 13:43he,
- 13:44we'd obviously had this discussion enough that he knew the answer.
- 13:47But
- 13:48when you start,
- 13:48you say,
- 13:49it's my job as your mom to keep you safe.
- 13:52So then when I would say,
- 13:53you really wish you could have more screen time,
- 13:55but what's my job?
- 13:56And he would roll his eyes and he would sigh
- 13:58and he would slump his shoulders and he would go
- 14:01to keep me safe,
- 14:03begrudgingly with lament,
- 14:05and I would say,
- 14:06so would I be doing my job?
- 14:09If I let you have screens all the time.
- 14:12No,
- 14:12but
- 14:13you really wish you could have more,
- 14:15but it's my job to keep you safe,
- 14:17and screens aren't safe.
- 14:19No child can argue
- 14:21their way out of
- 14:22needing to be kept safe.
- 14:23They may not like it.
- 14:25They may fight it.
- 14:26They may give you all the reasons why it's stupid.
- 14:28All my friends can have their phone whenever they want.
- 14:30All my friends play video games every second,
- 14:32blah blah blah.
- 14:33OK.
- 14:34But
- 14:35that's another phrase that I implemented with my son.
- 14:37What's your last name?
- 14:39He would go,
- 14:40Hicks,
- 14:41and I would say.
- 14:43What do we do in the Hicks household?
- 14:46You don't let me have screens.
- 14:48Um,
- 14:49so your last name is Hicks,
- 14:50so you don't get as much screens as your as your friends do.
- 14:54Because it was a household rule,
- 14:56it became very clear
- 14:57in the Hicks household,
- 14:58we do things differently than other households.
- 15:01That's another thing kids can understand.
- 15:04So safety
- 15:05and household expectations
- 15:07are the things that you fall back on.
- 15:10So,
- 15:10how do you explain it to them exactly like that?
- 15:12It's my job to keep you safe and screens are not safe for your brain.
- 15:16All right,
- 15:17fun pop quiz.
- 15:17I pop quiz my clinicians all the time on the other podcasts.
- 15:20I don't really do a whole lot of pop quizzes on the parenting,
- 15:23but it's just for fun.
- 15:24So,
- 15:25at what age?
- 15:27Do brains finally stop developing?
- 15:30So children's brains continue to develop through the age of what?
- 15:35For those of you that scream 25 at me,
- 15:37that's a high 5.
- 15:3925 years old
- 15:40is when the brain finally stops developing.
- 15:43So let's be real clear,
- 15:44my almost 17-year-old still has 8 years left of brain development.
- 15:49We're not talking,
- 15:50you get your kid to where they can drive and then you can just be hands off and say,
- 15:53OK,
- 15:54well,
- 15:54I don't need to worry about how often they're on screens anymore because
- 15:57they can drive,
- 15:57they're almost an adult.
- 15:59Until 25,
- 16:00the brain is still in development.
- 16:02And guess what?
- 16:02The brain needs to be protected
- 16:05during development.
- 16:06So in an effort to protect our kids' brains through 25,
- 16:10by the way,
- 16:11we have to keep them safe,
- 16:12and the way that we keep them safe is we limit screen time.
- 16:16And it's not saying they can't have any.
- 16:18It's not saying that we have to govern every second,
- 16:20but we absolutely need to limit it.
- 16:22We need to think about what they're having access to.
- 16:25Social media,
- 16:27no kid should have access to that.
- 16:28Roblox,
- 16:29no kid should have access to that.
- 16:32Really
- 16:33intense video games,
- 16:34no kid should have access to that.
- 16:36No kid should.
- 16:39Have access to most of the stuff that they do,
- 16:40to be honest with you,
- 16:41YouTube videos.
- 16:43On the front lines of this y'all,
- 16:45I,
- 16:45I know
- 16:46that
- 16:46you are not therapists.
- 16:48Most
- 16:49of you,
- 16:49I would assume,
- 16:50are not therapists.
- 16:51For 21 years,
- 16:53I have had kid after kid after kid after kid come into my office
- 16:58and become a client.
- 17:00And I'm on the front line of this every day.
- 17:03I see the fallout
- 17:05of screen addiction.
- 17:06I see the fallout of device overuse.
- 17:10You all probably don't,
- 17:11and I would thank God for that honestly because it's not pleasant and it's not fun.
- 17:16Every single day a kid walks into my playroom
- 17:19and I can see
- 17:20the impact that screens have on them.
- 17:22At all ages,
- 17:23by the way.
- 17:25It doesn't take more than a simple Google search
- 17:28to see how the suicide rates have spiked,
- 17:30to see how
- 17:31childhood.
- 17:33Prescriptions
- 17:34for mental health issues
- 17:36have spiked 3,000%,
- 17:37by the way.
- 17:38The fancy word for it is psychopharmacological,
- 17:40which you don't need to worry about that other than
- 17:43it's a mental health issue,
- 17:44and they have been prescribed medicine for it.
- 17:47So psychopharmacological,
- 17:48fancy word,
- 17:493,000% increase.
- 17:51In minors.
- 17:53Why?
- 17:53Because they're on screens all day long,
- 17:55suicide rate
- 17:56through the roof,
- 17:57depression and anxiety through the roof,
- 18:00lack of attention in school,
- 18:01through the roof,
- 18:02failing grades through the roof.
- 18:04You name the issue that we're dealing with right now,
- 18:07it can be traced back to screens.
- 18:10So this isn't to scare you.
- 18:11It,
- 18:11I mean,
- 18:12it probably is scaring you,
- 18:13but sometimes fear is a really healthy motivator.
- 18:16You can channel your fear into productivity.
- 18:19This is to help you understand how important this is.
- 18:22So Mariah,
- 18:23I mean,
- 18:23you're feeling the weight of it.
- 18:24I've been feeling the weight of it for a decade.
- 18:26I wrote a book about it.
- 18:27I'm actually going to do a 2nd edition soon.
- 18:29We,
- 18:30we have a lot riding on this.
- 18:31This,
- 18:31these are our kids,
- 18:33and
- 18:34we should be really angry
- 18:35at the way that they are being used as pawns
- 18:39because
- 18:39I don't have time to get into that.
- 18:40But I mean,
- 18:41gosh,
- 18:41look at the industry
- 18:43and you'll see why.
- 18:45Kids are dealing with what they're dealing with.
- 18:46It's all intentional.
- 18:48None of this is happenstance.
- 18:50So we have to be the defense.
- 18:52We have to put a line in the sand and say,
- 18:54I am your parent.
- 18:56I love you.
- 18:56I care about you.
- 18:57I will not
- 18:59let these bad things happen to you.
- 19:01I've had so many conversations with my son over the years.
- 19:04I mean,
- 19:05at every stage.
- 19:08I do not want
- 19:10things to happen to you
- 19:11that we will never be able to undo.
- 19:14I do not want you to go through things that we will never be able to undo.
- 19:18I do not want you exposed to things that we will never be able to undo.
- 19:22And he goes,
- 19:23I know
- 19:24he doesn't always like it,
- 19:25but he gets it.
- 19:28And so we have to be very open.
- 19:29We have to be very honest,
- 19:30very transparent,
- 19:31very clear with our kids.
- 19:32It is my job to keep you safe,
- 19:34and it is not safe for you.
- 19:37And
- 19:37your brain can't handle it.
- 19:39That's what I've always said to my son.
- 19:41It is not that you are the problem,
- 19:44your brain can't handle it.
- 19:47It's not your fault.
- 19:48There's nothing wrong with you.
- 19:50You didn't do anything you shouldn't have.
- 19:52Your brain is still growing and it's going to be growing for a long time,
- 19:56and your brain can't handle
- 19:58this kind of stimulus.
- 20:02And that's something that a kid can cling to,
- 20:05and
- 20:05these are the rules in the Hicks household.
- 20:08This is what we believe.
- 20:09This is how we operate.
- 20:10This is what we do.
- 20:11I can't control what other families do.
- 20:13I've said that to my kids so many times too.
- 20:15Baby.
- 20:16I wish that I could go tell your friend's mom
- 20:19how bad
- 20:20that is for him.
- 20:21I wish I could call her up right now
- 20:23and tell her everything that I know because I bet
- 20:25she would change the way that she's parenting him,
- 20:27but that's not my place.
- 20:28My place is to take care of you,
- 20:30and I'm taking care of you.
- 20:31I can't control what they do.
- 20:32I wish I could.
- 20:33I wish I could
- 20:34scream it from the rooftops,
- 20:36how bad screens are.
- 20:38But
- 20:38that's not my place.
- 20:39My place is to take care of you.
- 20:42So we have to have these kind of talking points that we can share with our kids,
- 20:45and they need to be genuine and they need to
- 20:46be honest and they need to be age appropriate.
- 20:49And our kids will get it because kids understand being kept safe.
- 20:53So we,
- 20:54we capitalize on that need.
- 20:55They know they need to be kept safe,
- 20:57and that's what we're going to do as parents.
- 20:59So I love y'all.
- 21:00Keep loving on your kids.
- 21:01If you have follow-up questions,
- 21:02if you have other stuff that you want me to cover,
- 21:04please reach out to me,
- 21:05brenna@thekidcounselor.com
- 21:07Hope you have a great week.
- 21:07We'll talk soon.
- 21:08Bye.
- 21:09Thank you for listening to
- 21:11the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
- 21:15For more episodes and just subscribe to our newsletter,
- 21:18please go to www.playtherapyparenting.com.