Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Life in the Passenger Seat | a conversation with Stephanie Dulin

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Life in the Passenger Seat | a conversation with Stephanie Dulin · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, welcome to the Simply Wholehearted podcast.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: We're so glad you're here again today, and if you are new around here, well, welcome.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're so glad you've joined us.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: You are listening to the soundtrack from down here and up above.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's Inner the Worship Circle's newest album, and it's track for Heavenly Things.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I am excited to share their podcast conversation next week, the first Thursday in November.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: They are a joy and a fun and real treat to talk to.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Their story is kind of one where they quit all things worship and said, I am done, I am out of here.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: But obviously the Lord had some different plans.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of the theme of this conversation as well.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is with my dear friend Stephanie Dolin.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: We have actually met each other many years ago as they were in the process of adopting and adding to their families through adoption in some miraculous ways.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now for me, we weren't in their lives day in and day out by any means.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: It was more a friend at church and we kind of watched for the peripheral and saw these adoptions fold and it's just so extraordinary to hear the details, the ins and outs of how it really all unfolded and what the Lord did to bring about these boys in their forever family.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: They have adopted three and they are now in the process of adopting a teenager, and I wasn't sure she could share much about his story, but she was able to share a little bit about that.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully, uh Lord willing, his adoption will be complete next month in November, which is uh not only National Adoption Month, but hopefully he'll be adopted on National Adoption Day, which I think is about November 17th this year.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: So um we're just so excited to celebrate them and all that the Lord has done.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that you will be blessed and encouraged whether adoption is going to be part of your story or your life.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think Stephanie really lives to the message of living life in the passenger seat.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now there's so much more that we didn't begin to touch on just her story and her marriage and her life and her process to the idea of adoption that she shares in her book called Life in the Passenger Seat.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And you can find that on Amazon.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um so I hope that you'll check out that book and you'll enjoy this conversation and be encouraged to live life in a way that says, okay, Lord, um this is your deal, not mine, and I'm willing to partner with you.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think when we do, that's when we see some amazing miracles unfold in a way that we could have never asked for or imagined.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Also, I wanted to remind you that we are still hanging out at the Unseen Journey on Facebook.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Every week we are taking a chapter from the book Unseen, The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves to Be Noticed, written by Sarah Hagerty.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And we are uh sharing what it is that um we are learning as a leadership team here.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have a wonderful group of other women, six other women who are joining in with me and chiming in on the conversation and sharing their thoughts.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: So we've got a couple hundred women who have joined us, and we would love to have you pop in as well.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you're just wanting to read and observe, you're not obligated to conversation, but we'd really love to have you there and um we're just excited to see what the Lord is doing with this message of unseen.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So um just go ahead and click uh a request to be um joined into the group and we will do that right away and we hope to see you over there.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: All right, Ashley, we can we were just talking about the woes of childcare at the gym.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_05: We were you've never had you've never had that happen before, Ashley, have you?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_05: Not at the gym.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_05: Every other place in town.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_05: Every single other place in town.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_05: Uh including church.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_05: Including church.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, for sure, church.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_05: Everyone knows us.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_05: I have one who used to kick the girl, like you know, the young, sweet little girl who was only at church because we invited her and was in the nursery with him.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_05: I won't say his name, but y'all could probably guess.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_05: But yeah, he would get mad, he would kick her, and he would do various things.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: I had a biter at church.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: We missed church for like a whole year because we kept getting called out.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like I guess church online it is.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we go back to another church in Olatha, Kansas.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and I kind of did the same thing that I do now.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: I did all like the check-in for kids.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And we worked Saturday nights a lot and then helped out on Sundays.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: What was happening on Saturday night?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Saturday night church.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was actually really seasonal.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: It was great, yeah.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so Stephanie and I met then, and then I was so excited when we're having these meetings at Yeah, and I saw you and I was like, oh, that's awesome.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we were just talking about Tomahawk Creek Burr Ridge the like community center, and that's where we have our prayer meetings now.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: But before the church launched, we had prayer meetings there and like meetings in general and all that sort of stuff to find out who went up to the city.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when we reconnected, yes.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's when I found out you actually knew David Perkins back in college.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yes, yes.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're crazy.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, over 20 years ago.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: We um I went to MNU and he did his first year of college at MNU here in Olatha, Kansas.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_05: Mid Nazarene.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_05: Midwestern.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, okay, university.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: And um, yeah, and so um it was Mid-America, Nazarene University.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, wait, why didn't that sound right?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's Mid America.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: And now I like live less than a mile from it.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's crazy.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, so we met freshman year.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: Back in 95.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so um, yeah, so we knew each other back then.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, that was way before Facebook and social media and all that stuff.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: So we completely lost touch after he left after freshman year.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so um, yeah, it was when right after my husband and I got married, we were in a church service, and um this we had a guest speaker that day, and I was my husband still tells the story, it's kind of funny.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: I was like reaching down from in my purse for something, I don't know what I was getting, and um I heard David Perkins' voice, and I was like, I know that voice, and it's been years and years and years, and and um, and then the pastor announced who it was, and I was like, I know him so long ago.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: So then we reconnected that way, and then when we found out they were coming to plant a church, um, we prayed about it and met with them, and we just knew that God was opening the door for us to go to Radiant.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's been amazing because it was just neat to see how I mean we knew the doolins and we knew they were really great people, but connect as far as us connecting since we were part of a big a bigger church.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And even though we served a lot of times in the kids' department, we didn't really know each other.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I knew you had this adoption ministry, I knew some of your story because you did speak at one of the women's gatherings, so I knew a little bit of the background story.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um but I just love you know this opportunity.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's been several people who've come over to Radiant Church and like, oh yeah, I wanted to get to know you, but we've got connecting.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we get to know each other and yeah, it's been really awesome to see all the connections.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and how God just brought so many people together, and yeah, it's been really cool.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, we're gonna talk about a lot of things because Stephanie is an author, she's a mom, she's a wife, and she also runs a ministry for adoption.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen some gift baskets even being cut, you know, kind of coming in and out of our church, which is really, really cool.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna be talking about a lot of those.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um but if you could kind of give us a little bit of the background of your story, kind of and then leading into the adoption stories because they're all three of them are very miraculous.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now, every child's a miracle, no doubt about it.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And every adoption story is miraculous.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: But there are some that are a little bit more extraordinary where you couldn't even make that up.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's true.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: We have some pretty amazing stories, and and sometimes I'm even hesitant to share them because it's not everyone's typical adoption stories.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, they've really been completely ordained by God, and um we've really our journey has been to lay ourselves down and trust God through it all, and so it's been really cool to just watch Him do what He does best, you know, be God and so yeah, it's their stories are remarkable.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, it it wasn't something, of course, that we had planned, you know, how life goes.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: And that's kind of uh where the birth of my book came from was um the title is Life in the Passenger Seat.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: And basically it's just a collaboration of a lot of different stories and experiences in my journey, my faith journey, and some other things in my life that I've been through, and um just how there's been so many times I've had plans for my life and they just don't unravel that way.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then I'm wondering, whoa, what's wrong?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_02: Why did this happen?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: And just realizing that I'm trying to be in control and I'm not, you know, handing the reins over to God to to be who He is and to be um to reign over my life and to be in control of everything.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so many times I just wanted to get in the driver's seat and I I had my path and I had my road and I wanted to go this way.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: I know where I need to go.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and it just I just found myself a lot of times going in circles or just finding myself in positions of thinking, where how did I get here, you know?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: And um so uh so yeah, there's just a lot of experiences that I've been through that I ended up writing a lot of my stories and experiences more from a place of healing and therapy for myself, and I didn't necessarily think they'd ever be in print, and now they are, which is it's fun, it's awesome because it is cool when someone says, Oh, your story really helped me, or it's been neat to see how God brought you through that, and um so yeah, so um yeah, no, that's great.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that gives us a little bit of a teaser of because we can't possibly like your life is really fascinating, honestly.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's funny because I would never think that, but it's I know it's because well and and you're in the throes of it.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, you don't, you can't think of it.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's and for me, I have this perspective of where I can see like the 40 years strung together, you know, like making this, like you know, weaving this beautiful story.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: So um, and I know we can't fit it all in.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: So yes, that's it's the hard part, is like which parts do you pick and choose to to share and talk about and absolutely getting your bug because you share a ton of the stories in there.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um so let's jump in.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're getting married uh to your husband and kids and timing, and we'll kind of uh go in there and then we'll ask about each boy.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: Everything happened very differently than the typical story for us for sure.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah, we got married in the fall of 2008, and soon after that, his 16-month-old nephew was placed in the foster care system.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: And um we were approached by his parents of whether or not we would be interested in taking him in, which was a thought process and then a process in itself to get that paperwork.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, study figure that all out with the state and the court system and all that.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: And so um we got it figured out, and he came to live with us um February 1st of that next year.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: So we got married at the end of November, and he was in our house in two months.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: It was two months, okay.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, two months, and so we were instant parents to a toddler.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he was an emotionally distressed toddler, he had a lot of trauma.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he was placed in foster care um basically due to neglect and some drug abuse by birth parents, and so um hard stuff so much, and and and a lot of people, and even at that time, I was naive to think, oh, well, he's still so young, and you know, let's just get him and he'll recover quickly.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: Let's let's just move forward and um you know, just love on him.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: And um, it's just been a really, really hard journey for sure.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um he just has a lot of trauma from the past and and foundational things that we're still working on.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: We're still working on, and we're we're you know building trust eight, nine years into it.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been quite a journey.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: The first year for sure was hard in itself.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: Every year is difficult in its own little way.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the first year was hard because we were they were still reintegrating him with birth parents because that's always the first goal of the child's life.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so we were back and forth in court, and um he was back and forth with visits, and so there was a lot that a whole year, a lot of insecurity, a lot of un unstable um instability, and so it was it was very hard for everyone.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: It was very hard for everyone.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but at the same time, fun.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we just jumped in, like we we just God said here you go, and we said, Okay, let's let's see what happens, let's, you know, obey what he has for us.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so um we thankfully we ended up having a great group of people helping us, and um he was able to be, we adopted him 18 months after he came to live with it.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, so he um and I remember when you guys did the dedication.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: His adoption day is actually the day before his third birthday.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so it was right right at three, which which is actually a very quick process in the foster care system.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: So the it was not typical, like 18 months was very a very short window, actually.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um parental rights were relinquished within six to eight months, I believe, and then we started the adoption process.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: So it was actually very quick.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, okay.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um which again is is not your typical foster care story at all.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we know of some.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like they're like two, three years in, and it's still just such a battle.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you're back and forth.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's still all the little it's such a process, and every state is different, every agency is different, every child is different, every story is different.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just yeah.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: Walking around in obedience.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you have Nate.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: All right, yeah, we have Nate, and he um, like I said, he got adopted the day before he turned three, so it was July of 2010.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_02: And um, there are some little details I'll share here just because they're like really cool God details.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so that September, Labor Day weekend, we were um together, the three of us.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: Jeremy had the day off, and we were at this little um playground area, and Jeremy and Nate were playing, and I felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me your family is not complete yet.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, okay, you know, and um, and then I even felt the sense that he was telling me that you're gonna have a baby within a year.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so of course I'm getting all excited because um I knew it was a hot, we knew, we've known that there'd be a there's a very high in probability that we'd ever get pregnant, we'd ever um have a biological child.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: So when I heard that, when I felt that, I'm thinking, I'm having, I have all this hope that, you know, I'm gonna get pregnant and um we're gonna have a biological baby.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: And um, because we did want more kids.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: We did want to have a bigger family.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so um, you know, I kind of kept that to myself.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't even tell Jeremy at the time.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: And uh months went by and months went by and nothing happened.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm thinking, okay, I'm not a mathematician, but if we if we have a year timeline, this is not gonna happen.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so um, so yeah, it just it nothing, nothing ever, ever happened.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_02: And um, that January of the next year, we decided to sit down and figure out, okay, what's kind of our goals for the year, you know, as a family, as um couple, everything.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so um uh we decided that we'd do foster care again.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: And and which would have been a different process because Nate was family placement.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: So um, you know, doing foster care for other kids, it's a completely different process.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: You got more paperwork, I mean, so much.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: So we decided, you know, maybe this is the avenue that we're gonna walk down again and um we'll foster to adopt again or something, you know, whatever God has in mind.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so I actually called the caseworker, I believe, a day or two after our conversation, got the new paperwork.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: We started filling it out, and then on January 12th, my mom calls me out of the blue, and she said, Um, now you guys were talking about maybe adopting again at some point, right?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Yeah, we we actually just had a conversation and we're thinking about fostering again.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, Well, I had um dinner last night with a friend of mine, and her teenage daughter is pregnant, and your name was brought up.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: And it was just complete shock.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like, okay, God, this doesn't happen.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you're good, but wow, like what?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so she said, Well, I can't tell you who it is, but um, you know, maybe you can send her a letter and I can get it to her or something.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: So I sat down, I mean, like, soon after that, I'm like, okay, God, I don't know what this is, but I'm gonna, you know, just just share my heart here.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: So I I wrote, I sat down and wrote this letter.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: And um Jeremy came home that night and I was like, I have something for you to read.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, What?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, you need to sit down.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I shared the letter with him.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, okay, wow, like what's going on?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: And and I kind of told him that she had called.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so he, you know, you know, very, very cool about it.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, well, let's just see what happens and let's do it.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so sent the letter off, and um my mom ended up telling me she got she got the letter, and but we didn't hear anything, and you know, I'm wanting to get in the driver's seat again.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I want to know what's going on.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: I want to see this, I want to see this unfold, and nothing was really said.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, okay, God, you know, maybe it was too good to be true.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, this isn't gonna happen.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: So um to to shorten up those those couple months right there, I received a call out of the blue from the agency she was with, and I had found out she was with an agency, which kind of um tore me up just a little bit because we had nothing.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like we weren't with an agency, we didn't have a profile, we didn't have money down anywhere, we weren't looking like it was we were nobody really, you know.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and we were in a different state.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I had actually called the agency just to see, I didn't tell them who I was, and I just said, Hey, do you guys work with out of state couples?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: And they said, No, no, no, not typically.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's not usually how we do things.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, just had to just kind of like release, release it and cry a lot, and like, okay, maybe that I don't know what this was, but you know, it is what it is, you know.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: And that very next week I got a call from the agency very nonchalantly.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, we just wanted to give you a call to let you know that she's chosen you and we need to start paperwork.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, what?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm driving right now and I'm crying.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even know who this is, and like I it was it was very emotional.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: I had no idea um what was going on, and and I even asked the lady on the phone, I said, Well, I thought you guys wouldn't work without estate couples, and she's like, Well, we typically typically don't, but it is whatever the birth parents want.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_02: And she got your letter.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: She felt like this is held on to it all.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she she wants to go with you guys, and so it was it was God and a letter.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's really how it kind of transpired.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so, um, we ended up uh starting the process with the agency, and at the at the time Um, Molly, which is Xander's birth mom, um, she actually wanted a closed adoption.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: That was kind of her plan at the beginning.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: And we had told the agency to let her know we'd be we would love to have an open adoption or at least have communication with her, you know, through this whole process.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_02: So an open adoption is different for a lot of people, actually.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: So an open adoption can be defined as just um letters or pictures being sent to and from, just so you the openness is knowing what's going on with your birth child.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: And it's really depends on um how everyone's comfortable with each other and all that stuff.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: We just got really lucky and we just have an amazing relationship with his his birth family.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so our open adoption is on the extreme side, and we get together all the time, we do holidays together.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_02: And she, yeah, her and I are are uh surprising Xander at lunch on Monday at school.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, so she lives here in the the area.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: And um, when we go back to St.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: Louis where he was born, we stay with her family.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, so we're very, very close.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we again a unique, a really unique situation.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's a very unique situation, but it's amazing.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of people are like, How do you do this?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't understand how you are so open, and it's just so good.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's so healing for everyone.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: We've seen so much healing in it, and with the situation that Nate comes from, the there's family opposite.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: There's no way I'd want to do it any different.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I want my kids to have that openness because it's amazing how much more connected they are with us and with birth family and just knowing like where they come from and there's no questions.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: There's no questions, there's no questions at all.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: And we've just I just love it.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you can't get enough love, you know, and and I don't it's I don't know, it's just people use the phrases, well, how do you share your child and how do you I it's just amazing.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: It's just really neat.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: You just have to see, you just have to see the relationship and um just to know it's just so good for everyone involved.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: It's been so good.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: So the closing option, then there would just be no You know, no, we ended up uh she decided she did just at least want to meet us.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and it did turn out, you know, I I figured out who the family was, you know, after after things started coming out and being a little bit like Nancy Drew, I mean, a natural detective.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, it was one of those, okay, my mom, you know, has this set core of friends, and you know, it's just kind of process of elimination that okay, I think, and so um I had met Molly when she was probably, I don't know, 11 or 12.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, she was quite younger and um hadn't seen her since then, you know, and so she decided that she'd at least like to meet us, and so um that was an amazing day.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we just hit it off, we were talking and um talked for hours.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, so long the agency was like, We you gotta leave.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like we have somebody else coming in.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: So we went out to dinner after that and we hung out and that's so great.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, she uh let us, you know, name him and was completely excited about that.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because birth parents can pick a name for their child and have it on the birth certificate.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: And okay, um, and adoptive parents can either keep it or change it or kind of whatever they would like.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so, but she she called him Xander from the get-go.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: He was called Xander in the womb, which makes me tear up because I just love that that he, you know.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: He got to be part of it.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he so she made us very um comfortable with the process.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: We were we just all hung out so much together, and um it was just a really cool situation.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: And um yeah, there's just so much, it's hard to to pinpoint like how much do we say, how much do we not, but um so when she delivered, um, she delivered in St.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: Louis, so we had to make the trip over there, and um her plan then was spend some time with him, and then she'd call us in.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so we were there at the hospital waiting, and he was born, and her sister came down and showed us a picture, and within 10 minutes, her dad came and said, Hey, she wants you to come down to the room, and I was like, Well, I thought she wanted more time with him.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, you know, that we would be waiting a little longer, and he said no.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, or it might have been her mom.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: She said no, she already just she already told him that his mom and dad were waiting for him.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: So we went into the room and it was amazing.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: We completely um shocked the whole nursing staff, like they didn't know what to do with us because um usually typically they will put birth family in one room and adoptive parents in a different room.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: We actually got a little closet at this hospital.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: They just kind of gave us this little tiny area to spend time with them.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: And um, but Molly and her family were like, no, let's all hang out in the same room and spend time together.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: And we just passed, passed the little bundle around, and um, it was amazing.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: It was amazing.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: So the three days we were in the hospital, um, he got loved on by everyone.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, so it was it was just such a God thing.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like there was no denying that his hand was all over it.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: And when I first met her, it was like, what do you what do you say or give to someone, you know, giving their baby to you?
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_02: And so Romans 8 28 was like etched on my heart.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's all I could think, you know, to give her was a framed verse, you know, and so I gave it to her and she's like, Oh my goodness, this is the exact verse that the Lord, you know, spoke to me.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's just so many different cool connections and and ordinations there.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: And um, before we left the hospital, her family actually arranged for baby dedication to be at the hospital.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_02: And so even though it was not legal, there was it was not at all official, it was official in the eyes of the Lord.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like it was amazing, like everyone was crying, and um yeah, we just what a beautiful beginning.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was amazing.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_02: She, you know, she was holding him, and then she, you know, literally handed him to us again, you know, and um just in that symbol of of I'm truly truly giving him to you, and he's yours to raise.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: And um, yeah, it's it's been just such an amazing journey, and and we are so close again with her family.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we've just gotten closer.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: And in that that first seven weeks, um, we were pretty much Missouri bound because we had to figure out we had to get over state lines and and protocol and all that stuff.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: And so we actually all were not sure what does this look like?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how should we talk on the phone?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to come see him?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I, you know, we no one knew.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so there was no handbook for this at all.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and um, but I knew like just the gift that she gave us, I couldn't imagine not having her in his life.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah, and so because we were still in St.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: Louis for so long, you know, we saw each other every other day almost.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_02: And and she came over, her mom and dad came over, and it was just really neat.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: It was really neat to see like the the connections and oh yeah, it was amazing.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_02: It was amazing.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_05: So at any point were you worried that she would change her mind?
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_05: Did that ever come in effect?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I think um because it was our first private adoption, of course, there was a couple moments where I I did have that little like twinge.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, I think there was a couple moments, but um I did have peace about it the whole entire time.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: And and Jeremy absolutely had peace about it.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: So there was never any point that we were scared or worried.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um we just knew God had this, and we didn't know what that looked like though.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't know what that looked like.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there were some concerns on the birth dad's part that we just trying to locate him and get signatures and all that stuff.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: That was what took so long, and that's when I was like starting to worry a little bit.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but his mom was very supportive of the adoption, was very supportive of us, had met us in the hospital and everything, and she I ended up talking to her on the phone one time, and she was like, I don't worry, I'm gonna find him and I'm gonna guess signatures, and I'm I don't worry, it's gonna happen.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_02: So it was just amazing.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like, even people that I didn't even know until this point, we just connected and that's so cool.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that was five years ago now.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: Xander's five?
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Xander's six now.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_02: So that was um back in 2011 he was born.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah, yeah.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, we were um pretty good and busy with two boys.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um and they're both all boys, so yep, there was always a lot.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: Chaos.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and so um, you know, we kind of talked about adopting again or doing foster care again, just we just again weren't sure if we were ready, you know, we were the timing, and we even talked about doing an international adoption um just to try, yeah.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let's try that.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we've tried everything else.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: We tried foster care, we've tried private, let's try international.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I have been to Ethiopia a couple times, and so the agency that Molly used and we ended up using in St.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_02: Louis, they have an agency in Ethiopia.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: And when I was there, we passed it and I was like, oh, wouldn't that be awesome?
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_02: And um love the agency, Bethany Christian Services, and so um, so yeah, we kind of talked about that back and forth, but we never felt peace about it.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and so we didn't really do too much about it.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: And um And when you go back to like okay, so you didn't feel peace about it.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: Did one of you did you ever go back and forth where one of you was like ready to go and the other like as far as like you and Jeremy, as far as like the spouse conversation of adoption because that's you know, I know that's usually the unique piece of every story.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and I I really don't ever remember a time where we were not on the same page with things.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think just because we uh you know, we we go through these um seasons of both of us, oh, it would be awesome if miraculously we had a biological child, but just and then getting to that point of accepting, you know what, this is not our journey.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_02: And that's okay.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: That's absolutely okay.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: God has created such an amazing family unit um through the gift of adoption.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so, um, so yeah, there's been a lot of different seasons like that of of where is this going for us and what does this look like and and that type of thing, but I don't ever remember us both or one of us not being on the same page with it at all, and we just kind of kind of have gone with the flow, really.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it it has been literally living life in the passenger seat and living life, letting God do his thing.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and um that's I think why we have such cool, unique, amazing stories is because they don't sound real.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I mean, it's could only be God that He could bring this type of stuff together and these stories together and these this uniqueness together.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, yeah, it's it's it yeah, I don't ever remember a time that we weren't Yeah, not on the same page, which is just so great.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: So you obviously you didn't feel peace about moving forward on the international or anything quite yet.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_02: So but you have three boys, so almost four, yeah, yeah.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so what happened there was um in 2014, the fall of 2014, um we were running or we were leading an adoption, foster and adoption life group at our um other church.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: And we ended up meeting this couple who were uh fostering their three grandchildren.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_02: And um within that group, we ended up connecting with them and meeting them and in conversation found out that her daughter was pregnant again.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I just assumed that they would be taking that baby, and um she said, No, I we just we just can't.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, yeah, the energy, the time, the money, everything, it's just so much.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_02: And she said that um, you know, I've really been talking to my daughter about adoption, but I don't know if she's willing to do that unless it's an open adoption.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Well, interesting you'd say that because um we have a very open adoption.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I was telling her about Xander's story, and she was very intrigued by it because again, you don't always hear this at all.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: I I mean, very rare do you hear that of such an openness with a family.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so she was very intrigued.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_02: And out of the blue, I just said, Well, we'll take the baby.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, again, it doesn't happen like that, right?
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, it doesn't.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: It just right there, he's right there, he's right there, and it kind of got quiet, everyone got a little quiet, and then kids were screaming, and the night was like over.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, like, I don't know what just happened, but okay.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure what I just said.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, so um the next day she emailed me and said, Thank you for dinner.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_02: It was great connecting with you guys.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: We love having this commonality with people, and um, and then at the very end of the email it said, Um, would you be inter Were you serious?
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_02: I guess.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Yeah, and I I was like, Was I serious?
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is Jeremy.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_02: Was I serious?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't even tell him.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: I did not tell him I did not tell him the email came.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_02: And so I just responded with it wasn't a yes and it wasn't a no.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_02: It was if God is opening the door, then we would be happy to walk through it.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but we have our hands full.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_02: As you can see, there's there's, you know, yeah, absolutely.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, it was kind of like we don't really have the money laying around to do another adoption.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, and we didn't have the money for Xander at all either.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_02: That was um a complete God thing, too.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we ended up because we adopted Nate, got an amazing tax credit the next year that pretty much paid for all of Xander's adoption.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_02: And um that's it just all these little details, it's it's there's just no denying God was all over it.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_02: So again, it was kind of like almost comical.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what if anything's gonna come out of this.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so um days later, though, she emailed me back and she said, Um, would you be interested in meeting my daughter?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, okay, now I have to talk to Jeremy.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I um I said, So, do you remember that couple that we connected with this past week and came over for dinner?
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, Yeah.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Well, do you remember the whole thing about the baby?
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, Yeah.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Well, how would you like meeting her daughter?
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, Oh, well, I've been praying for that baby all week.
• 38:45
  unknown: Wow.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, what are you talking about?
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, Well, the Holy Spirit, as soon as she said that, Holy Spirit told me that I need to start praying for that baby, and I had no idea why.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: And he was quiet because it did hit him, too.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and so we, you know, hadn't had this conversation that whole entire week, and we were both processing things completely different and wondering what God was up to.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: And um crazy.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it just doesn't happen this way.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so um we ended up meeting her daughter that next day, which was uh an amazing timing, it was a really good timing because our two boys happened to be at my mom's for the weekend, which didn't always happen because she was out of state at the time.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_02: And uh we had sent them to her house because we were at a wedding for the weekend, and so we had time without the kids.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_02: So we went to meet her, and um, you know, it was awkward at first, not knowing what do you say.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even really know like this parents well, and yeah, so it was it was a little awkward, but within that next week we met her again and the birth dad and um had conversation over coffee, and we actually Molly was the first one we told.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, and um I called up Molly Xander's birth mom and I said, Listen, we have a situation here and we haven't told anyone about it, but would you be willing to come to meet this couple with us?
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, Yeah, absolutely.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: So she was the first one we even told and knew about, and uh we left the meeting not knowing, you know, it could go either way.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if they're gonna choose to go this route or not, but they know our hearts now and we're open if God has this for us again.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so within a week they called us back and said we want to do this.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, wow, and um they had chosen, they said we really would like to name him Caden.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_02: We it was a boy again, and uh I said, okay, and and she's like, but I want to spell it kind of a different way, and she spelled it K-A-Y-D-E-N.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Oh, of course, because my middle name's K.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so it was just these again, these little things that just kept happening.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_02: That I was like, Okay, God, wow, here we go.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, let's do this.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_02: And this was uh the middle of November, and he was born in January, so we had six weeks, seven weeks maybe, to get paperwork done and um stuff in order, and let's do this.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: So um it was again, and and again, there's so many more details with with um with the birth and and lawyers and everything that happened even after the fact that it was like, oh my goodness, God, really?
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like this is amazing.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, just the way he ordained every little detail of this little boy's life, and um, so it's pretty pretty amazing.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: And uh probably the quickest birth and adoption that we've experienced.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's because he was born on a Friday and two weeks later we were in court, so he was officially a duolin after two weeks.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, and so the that ended up being a private one then as well.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and a lot of people were like, you know, didn't even know that we were adopting again because it there wasn't a lot of time to tell people, and it was again, you just don't know if there's gonna be somebody changing their mind or whatnot, and we're just kind of jumping all in, seeing what happens.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so there'd be a lot of people like, well, well, what agency were you with?
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_02: What what happened?
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, oh no, no, our agency was God, like there was no agency involved at all besides the lawyer and and the whole and Jesus.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_02: So it was yeah, yeah, so that's amazing.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_02: Pretty, pretty awesome.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_02: And so now, you know, um the Lord opened our hearts to take in a teenager, so now we have Yeah, I wasn't sure if you could talk about that.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we can.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_02: I can't say names and I can't say specifics, and um his story is a whole another journey and process and and in itself.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because actually we've we've known about him for a year and a half, and it just actually just started coming together about four or five months ago when he moved in with us.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: And and uh years ago, we hadn't thought that we'd ever want to open our homes up to a teenager, and and not that we didn't have the heart for that, we just didn't know if it was the right fit for our family.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: And uh yeah, there's birth order involved here and there's there's history.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_02: There's a history of trauma, and there's you know, it just it was just one of those things was like, is that ever gonna be I just don't think it's gonna be a fit for our family, but um just more details where God just kind of unraveled that, you know, no, this is I what I want to I really want this for your family, and you may not see how this is gonna be good for your family, but you know, I I have a plan in this.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so not reluctantly, but just kind of taking that deep breath like, oh my goodness, what does this mean?
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: For us, and uh uh took in a teenager um back in May, and um we are now in the process of adopting him as well.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: So um we're hoping he'll we'll be able to officially adopt him next month.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been quite a journey and process.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it is very fast.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_02: The reason that his is fast as well is because he's been in the foster care system for nine years.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_02: And uh rights have been relinquished for years and years, and um he's been waiting for a forever family for a long time, him and his sister.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, unfortunately, um, as we know, the system is broken and the process took way longer than it should have, and and his older sister would like to age out and um does not want to go down that road of of having a forever family, even though we would be right willing to be that for her if she ever chose that.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but anyway, he was um interested in meeting us and still wanted to kind of see what that looked like, and that's where we're at now.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, for boys.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_02: Because when we jumped in, we kind of knew that that was where we could be going because we were chosen as the adoptive resource family last year.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh wow and um the like I said, the process and the situation just didn't flow very smoothly.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but again, looking back, there was a lot of God over it.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh we had a a really, really hard year last year um with uh Nate, and it was actually very good timing that God kind of prolonged this process.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_02: And uh because we needed to really help him with some things and um get him through some stuff.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, again, just kind of trusting in God's timing and what he's doing.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: So it's extraordinary.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, each one it's it's it's really amazing.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_02: It I'm always in awe when I share, and again, I these aren't even all the details, but yeah, I'm always in awe sharing because it's such an honor to be a part of it.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, these stories are so cool and amazing, and he just have his fingerprints all over.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, all over it like pr this point and it makes us all go like yeah, wow Lord, yeah, you are so cool.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's been it's been really awesome to just see our family woven in this way, and just to know that you know, this is how adoption is with God, like He adopts us into our family, and just to see all of that too, you know.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, it's it's just really neat.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's emotional and it's you know, exciting, and it's just there's a lot of of feelings to it.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's incredible.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and in the midst of all of this of adjusting to all these boys and really just doing life, and you're like a workout instructor and you don't you do all these things.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: Your husband has his own business, but you guys uh felt the burden to start an adoption ministry, and um I I've seen it in action, and I know that we've had you've had church, um churches partner with you through the years.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: But give us a little bit of the background and then how it started and then where you're at now because you are entering a season where we'd really like to draw attention to it.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if adoption is on your heart and you want to partner with adoption, maybe you're not called to open your home in that way, but your resources, your time, all of those, um, your money are certainly valuable in playing near to God's heart.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_02: There's so many ways to to help because I hear that a lot.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_02: You know, well, I'm I just don't think I could do it.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I could foster, I don't think I could adopt, and I don't have the money, and there's just so many things.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_02: And uh there's just so much more you can do though, even if you don't feel like being called, even if you don't feel like God's calling you specifically to adopt, there's so many things you can, you know, help an adoptive family, you can help a foster kiddo, you can uh mentor there, or or yeah, give money, give donations.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_02: Or I mean there's just so many ways.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's another podcast, probably in itself.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but what happened really was um and really being vulnerable here and sharing our heart, um when we found out about Xander, of course we were super excited, and uh we were expecting a baby.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, it was really interesting um because as excited as we were, even though I was not birthing the baby, we were expecting a baby.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um there was not the excitement from other people that we thought.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it just it really kind of stole a little bit of the joy from it.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_02: Even though we knew that it was a very joyful time and we were so excited and we were prepping and um it it just it really hurt.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_02: It really hurt our hearts.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that was because you didn't have community celebrating with you and people like preparing as well as they would like if you were physically pregnant.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_05: The whole thing that you do when somebody's gonna birth a baby.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's just I mean, there's there's announcements and there's showers, and and and I don't say that to be like, oh, the poor me, I didn't have that.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_02: I not that, but it's just even people's responses completely shocked us.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, just were not, wow, that's nice, that's exciting, you know, but there wasn't like, oh my goodness, you're having a baby.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, it there was not a showering of love and encouragement and and what can I do to help?
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: And this is so exciting, and you know, and we did get that.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to say that we didn't get it at all, but definitely from people that we thought we would get it from, we didn't.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and so it just it was it was really hard.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: It was really hard.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_02: And uh as a mama, I just I I was it was very emotionally hard for me.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so Jeremy and I just, you know, it would just became a conversation of why isn't this being celebrated?
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't we feel like this is a celebration?
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_02: And and I also when when we adopted Nate, um, you know, we wanted to make it a big deal.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_02: And we invited so many people we knew.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_02: We made this uh you know huge party out of it.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but not many people came.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there was nothing, nothing at the stores for like adoption, anything.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_02: There's no party supplies for adoption.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_02: So I make party supplies and all these banners.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_02: We made shirts and adoption rocks, and and it ended up birthing out of that.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like, well, remember when we had an eight's party, you know, how exciting it was, and we wanted it to be a celebration, and every child who is being adopted should feel this.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like every family should have this response from people, and and uh, and I know not everyone, this isn't everyone's journey, and I understand that.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it was interesting to to to get the response that we got.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so um we reached out to a couple lawyers that we knew that had helped us with Nate's adoption and some other um people that we knew, and we just said, what would this look like if we gave gifts to some you know kids when on their adoption day?
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_02: Because when we adopted Nate, we also had, you know, we invited a photographer into the courtroom, we had balloons in the courtroom, we had a cake in the courtroom, and and the the um judge herself was actually pretty shocked.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, This has never happened before.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm thinking, why?
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like then why?
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_02: Why not?
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_02: This is a big deal, like this is a big deal.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_00: One of the best days ever.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and um, and so we reached out to them and they they said, Yeah, that sounds awesome.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, so we just from our own hearts just decided let's just do this.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_02: And so we started putting together baskets.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_02: And so what would happen would be the lawyer would contact us and say, There's a child that's being adopted.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's you know, boy or girl, and here's their age, and we would just put together um gifts for that particular child.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so since then, I mean, this is going on six years, um, and unfortunately, we haven't turned it into a nonprofit organization yet, which is our hope and our desire.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but it's just kind of just been something that we've we've yes, we've just always done for ourselves and and for other people um on our own.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so through it, we've we now in every basket, um, they do get an adoption shirts.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_02: We have an adoption rock shirt, and they give a get a frame in there that says my forever family or my adoption day or something like that.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_02: And then um they get a Bible.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_02: So um they know it's a Christian-based ministry because the lawyer has to share that with them, and and then they contact us if the family wants a basket.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_02: So um, and then we just put age-appropriate toys in there, you know, whether it be books or DVDs or um hygiene stuff, toothbrushes.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's just body wash, anything like that.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so um just put as many things as we can in a basket, wrap it up, and and deliver it to the courthouse.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just cool knowing that the kids will get there and they have a gift waiting for them and that this is a big deal and a big day.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so yeah, it's celebrated.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, very celebrated.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen you hand it out at church a couple times recently.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, they weren't actually adoption baskets, it was more of uh bat baby baskets for some some girls that had had babies at the church.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I just kind of made some baby baskets, but um, but yeah, so that's kind of where it birthed from was was we just feel like every adoption should be celebrated.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_02: Every child should be celebrated, every child should be celebrated.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_05: Actually, I would think once coming out of the foster system, they need to have a moment, more more than one moment, but to be celebrated.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be huge.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's a really big deal, and and I've like I said, it's just been kind of a shock over the years, um at the responses and just the fact that it's just not.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_02: And and a lot of people, you know, do have that mentality of adoption is the last resort for people, and it's just you know, it doesn't have to be the case.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't at all.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's obvious, like just through your stories, like God has a specific plan for each child and each family, and he will make it happen.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like he really does, and we just have to be willing to give our yeses and yeah, and we do.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_02: We have to be willing to go through those doors that he opens.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, from earlier I I I didn't share, but you know, when the Holy Spirit had spoken to me about Xander and he said, you know, this baby's gonna come within a year, you know, and I didn't see that, you know, like how is this gonna happen?
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not proud of that.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_02: And sure enough, he was he was born within that year, you know.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_02: He was um, and then I found out later from Molly, since we are so close that um that same week that you know I felt that, you know, he was conceived that that was the week he was conceived.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_02: So it just it's just yeah, it's really it's such a celebration to who God is.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, really, and again, the whole adoption process is such an amazing journey, and it's a hard journey.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not saying it's easy, and I again I'm always hesitant to share our stories because I never want anyone to think, oh well look, you just got a kid dropped in your lap.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, it does seem like that, but you just have to be in that passenger seat, yeah, letting him drive, and and he's gonna take you to places you didn't think you would ever go, you know.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um the the road and the landscape looks totally different when he's driving.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's just fun to see what he he he has for us when we when we let him do that.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_02: So that's beautiful.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what do you what do you say to those who maybe they haven't quite slid over to the passenger seat yet and they're still wanting to take control and they at least think they're in the driver's seat or are gonna attempt to it.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um what's just maybe like a a quick little, you know, surrender.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how do we step into that surrender and slide on over and letting the Lord and you know, maybe even realizing maybe we're hanging on to the steering wheel and we think we're in the passenger seat, but we're actually hanging on to the steering wheel and trying to drive things on our own.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_02: You know, for me, I I like to envision things, and I think for me it's a matter of actually mentally uh thinking of myself moving over and not being in that position, you know, like like imagining God beside us, imagining, you know, letting Jesus take the wheel and and just sitting there enjoying the ride.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_02: And um I think that that's an easy thing to start with, is just what would that look like?
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_02: How would that feel?
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, and that's because I'm not saying that I'm I'm perfect at that at all.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's still moments where, you know, even through this this latest foster care situation, I mean, there's been times I'm like been very um I don't know what the word is, just uh not apprehensive, but just not knowing what is going on.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's been such a hard journey with with some things we've been through over the years.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_02: And what are you doing, God?
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just so easy to have that emotion.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_02: And um, so yeah, there's been many times I've I've wanted to kick him out and no, I'm gonna take over and and just it's yeah, I've he's quick to simmer me down and keep me there, and yeah.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_02: Or you know, I'll get out of the car and sit and pout and then I'll get back in the car.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's like it's like the it's just I do.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_02: I have to envision these moments of myself.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, am I sitting on the on the street corner pouting, or you know, am I relaxed in the passenger seat or am I trying to change the station?
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's like all these little things.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's you know, sets an analogy, but yet I, you know, I'm I'm constantly having to, you know, evaluate myself and check myself.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so yeah, I think that that's a great start of just absolutely yeah.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_00: And and as you mentioned too, we're kind of nearing the end of the year.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you talked about how you and Jeremy get together and you talk about, you know, the next year's goals and stuff.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_00: And um, we'll be talking about um that at the new year, about just kind of an idea of how to spark.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I think just as we are thinking about new beginnings and fresh starts, and there's a lot to deal with usually over the holiday season that's approaching um that we need to navigate through, but also to look on the other side of that along with this analogy of like, okay, what are some things that as I look toward the new year that I could really step away from and relinquish control and let the Lord move in my life, and maybe it'll unfold differently than what I thought or even hoped for, but even way better because he's he's the one giving it and directing it and all that stuff.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_00: So for sure.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's awesome.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Stephanie.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's so much here.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait for people to check out.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um now, do you have a website for the ministry that we can direct people to?
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_02: We don't actually, we don't.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, everyone can contact us directly.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, but November is National Adoption Day.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_02: So this is my favorite season.
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's I didn't know that.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it's National Adoption Month?
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, National Adoption Month and Day Day.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_02: The day is um here it's celebrated November 17th and 18th in a couple different courthouses.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um so we have that's so cool, almost 30 adoptions that we already have on our list of baskets.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_05: Does it take place like on that day or just in the month?
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_05: So do they kind of plan like we're just gonna do a bunch to celebrate?
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_05: That's a lot.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's so cool.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_02: So um November is always a very big month for us um because right now typically we do maybe three to five adoptions every month.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_02: Baskets, we usually do, you know, that many baskets a month.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but then November is our big month where they send us a big list and and that's amazing.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's really cool.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's exciting.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so it's uh yeah, there's a lot of baskets to prep for.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_02: And again, it's my favorite time of the year.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's very fun.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_02: But but yeah, we we it it's definitely um one of those times where we have to reach out a little bit more.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um reach out of just our own pockets and and and just ask for help.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um I love it, you know, with donations and um stuff like that for the baskets because there's a lot that goes into them.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I love that.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's I mean, I knew when we had um, I don't know, we had a meal together this last like late winter or something like that.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I'd experienced little bits and pieces of your story a little bit kind of from afar in a way, just because we weren't, you know, a part of a small group or anything together.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_00: But so I heard the whole thing and then I heard about the ministry, and what was so sweet, I just I mean, I think this is a testimony too, is that Nate like pops into the conversation throughout it, but he's so proud of you.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like he and I know he has his own things that he's struggling with, but he sees what you're doing, and that speaks to him huge because he could not wait to tell me about like, do you know what my mom does?
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she's so awesome, and this is amazing.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this is coming from you know, like a 10-year-old kid.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_02: He is a very sweet boy, he has a very, very sweet heart about him.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_00: And he sees he sees what you're doing, and it I can't help but think how much that ministers to him.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_05: I was about to say that has to be a demonstration of what his value is to you as well.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and we just love it too, again, how God's woven us together of for our kids, too.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_02: Of you're not alone in this, you know, it's there's so many.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_02: Adoption should not be a taboo subject at all.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_02: And and again, that's why I love the openness.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, with our adoptions too, is no, we're all together in this.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_02: And um Caden's so Caden has an open adoption too, so he sees his birth family quite often.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_02: And um so yeah, that's yeah, it's it's just really neat to see and that they have that commonality together, not only as brothers growing up together, but they have their own stories.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_02: But yet, you know, adoption's cool.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_00: Adoption does rock.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_00: Adoption rocks.
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I even had spiked his hair and Nate's hair on his third birthday and adoption party and colored it red, spray painted it red, and we were like all like rocked out.
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is awesome.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_00: It absolutely is.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, so I love that.
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_00: I get to share this, share your stories, and I really hope that people maybe they haven't thought about it this way, and this is a new thought for them, or maybe you have, you just not known how to partner, and this is like one of the best first steps that you can do.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_02: And we, you know, we love getting together, fellowshipping with people and sharing our stories and um even sharing even more details and um and just encouraging people because again, there's there's uh it's it's scary.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's it's expensive, it's it's heart-wrenching, you just don't know.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_02: And and like I tell people, you know, you know, pregnancy is a risk, you know, life is a risk.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I I tell you, if God guarantees, yes, if God has this journey for you, he's he's gonna he's not gonna leave you, he's gonna walk with you.
• 1:04:29
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and we've just have we have that experience.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_02: We we've seen it firsthand.
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_02: And um, even the money thing, we we didn't have the money laying around for these adoptions at all, at all.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_02: And every single one of them, God provided, every single one of them.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_02: And um it's just again, it it's it's one of those to walk in obedience, put that first foot forward, and okay, God, I don't know what this looks like.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm scared to death.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_02: I do not know what this looks like, but I'm gonna trust that you have something here.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_02: And and even if it's not gonna work out the way I think it is, what am I gonna learn from this?
• 1:05:06
  SPEAKER_02: Or what's my family gonna get out of this?
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_02: Or or something.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's always about the journey.
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_02: It really is.
• 1:05:12
  SPEAKER_02: It is about the journey.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, again, I've I've gone back and forth struggling over the years of, you know, that we haven't been able to experience pregnancy and having a biological child, but you know, God's worked with me on that too, you know.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't know, maybe I was spared something.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't know.
• 1:05:31
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't know, but I just have to have that mentality.
• 1:05:34
  SPEAKER_02: Again, God knows what he's doing, he knows what's best, and I just have to keep him in that seat, that driver's seat.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, again, I just think their stories are so cool, and it's just such an honor to be a part of their stories, you know.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_02: As hard as parenthood is, as as crazy as my family is, and we're we're our own little circus, and you hear us and you see us, and I'm like Somebody's pulling my hair out and like I can't do this.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a failure.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_02: So it's you know basically like a normal family.
• 1:06:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you, Stephanie.
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 1:06:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I just pray that the Lord would just like make put a megaphone to this message and get it out.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love that.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your time.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_00: Guys, wasn't that amazing?
• 1:06:28
  SPEAKER_00: I told you, these stories are really extraordinary.
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that you've been encouraged and blessed.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to say, I usually end these podcasts and my kind of my exit final thoughts.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, well, friends, I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_00: Partly because I'm like sad it ends and I'm always amazed how we plan for only 20 minutes of conversation.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_00: And somehow an hour later, we're going, whoa, where did the time just go?
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm loving sharing all of these conversations.
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that you're continuing to be in blessed, inspired, encouraged as you listen to all these unique stories and know that you have one the Lord is writing right now.
• 1:07:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we're all in the process and it's all just a journey.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that if you have been encouraged that today, that you will think about supporting the Dolans and their ministry and even their personal life as they just give out of their own pockets to help others to support and encourage others who are going through the adoption process.
• 1:07:32
  SPEAKER_00: We have put her contact information in the show notes.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find her on Facebook at Stephanie Taylor Dolan.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can send her a friend request and she just might oblige for sure.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_00: So they she even put it gave us her phone number so you can text her if you wanted to and get their home address if you felt so inclined to send money to support the gift baskets that they put together.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe even if you're encouraged that you would be looking for ways that you can support families around you in your hometown and maybe in your church family, those who have adopted are in the process of adopting, or maybe or even fostering families or kids who need their forever family.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_00: So just look for practical ways, whether it's a gift card to a favorite restaurant, a home-cooked meal, maybe a couple hours of babysitting, or setting up and organizing a group of people to bless them and perhaps even raking leaves.
• 1:08:32
  SPEAKER_00: This fall we're always daunted by, oh yeah, that's right, it's really beautiful, but there are a lot of leaves to rake.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, just be thinking about that as we enter into National Adoption Month, which is November every year, and National Adoption Day, which I believe is November 17th of this um next month here.
• 1:08:51
  SPEAKER_00: So another, I was just thinking about a similar podcast conversation that we've had.
• 1:08:57
  SPEAKER_00: And uh if you go back to season one, episode 12, that's our conversation with Kinzie Thurlow, who has a passion and a desire to get out the need for um the American orphans or kids in foster care.
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much there.
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_00: I won't even try to recap it, but I hope you listen to that.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_00: She's just got an amazing heart for the ministry that um she's really um put a lot of thought and time and prayer into.
• 1:09:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we're just um days away from entering the busy holiday months, but I hope that you will just be thinking about how ways that you can give um even again a couple of hours to um invest in this family can go a long, long way.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_00: So um I am looking forward to sharing next week's conversation with our music here that you're listening to, the writers, the authors of that, and we've got some really other fun conversations that are coming up, especially for the holiday season.
• 1:09:54
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna be talking about health and fitness and how you face the holidays that way, how to find time to rest and to abide in one of the busiest, craziest seasons of our life.
• 1:10:06
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking Christmas music and all sorts of other fun ways that we're gonna just point to the reason for the season, which is ultimately Jesus Christ.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I have loved hanging out with you today.
• 1:10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And we are really easy to find if you would like to hang out with us more than just this podcast.
• 1:10:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can find us at Simply Wholehearted on Facebook.
• 1:10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Ashley Um Pittman and I um post, try to post things there that will encourage and bless and usually talk about the upcoming podcast conversations and just other ways, other tools and resources for intentional living.
• 1:10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we're at Unseen Journey on Facebook as well.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can join in on that conversation.
• 1:10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I am also at Amy R.
• 1:10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Wicks on Instagram.
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now, for me, I've been taking a year um to share my thoughts on the proverbs every day, a daily proverb, I call it.
• 1:10:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know what's next.
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we're gonna continue on that vein, but we usually um share some of our giveaways and other exciting things that are happening.
• 1:11:06
  SPEAKER_00: So we'd love to have you hop in and join in on the conversation.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, until next week, I'm looking forward again to being here in your earbuds and sharing more exciting stories.
• 1:11:17
  SPEAKER_00: And until then, I hope you find more ways to live unplugged, purposeful, and intentional.