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Dating in Today's world · The Volume Shift

• Deion: Peace and blesses family. Welcome back to the volume shift. You know what saying? When we all get loud, we just shift the frequency so understanding can actually land. Jhalil: Okay. And today, you know, we getting on the topic. Something everybody got an opinion on. Dating in today's world. Deion: Whether you single, dating, in a relationship, or married. Jhalil: It's a whole different ball game. Deion: More options. Jhalil: more confusing. Deion: That's clarity. Jhalil: So today we asking, are we dating to connect or just dating not to be alone? Keep it real. Deion: Unbuck doctors the doctor without the doctorate. Jhalil: I'm Jahlil, urban activist slash black activist. know, what's up with y'all? Deion: Welcome back baby, what up dog? How you living, how you feeling? Jhalil: Oh man, everything gritty, man. I'm looking forward to this discussion that we got tonight, man, cause you know, we see it all like social media, man. That shit got us at war, like, and I don't know, bro. It's like at marriages, being single, just looking, everybody beefing, bro. So it's like, man, I'm trying to just get some understanding. You feel me? Deion: Thank Yeah. Absolutely right. So yeah man we gonna get into it you know what like should we start with the single? Jhalil: Yeah, we can. Deion: Yeah, yeah. That's just set it off, you know what I'm saying? cause being, you know, being single today is like, you know, that's a whole different twist. You get what I'm saying? Then coming up, when we was coming up, you get what I'm saying? But at the same time too, I got a zero in on the fact, right? Like, that times is different. You get what I'm saying? So. at the time of the crime that people will be talking about they'll be at an age that's like young you get what i'm saying like and they like oh dating ain't the same and i'm like of course it's the fuck not because like you were 17 then you're 39 now like why Jhalil: Mm. it. Deion: I hope that it wouldn't be the same. You get what I'm saying? Like new technology, new everything. So you get what I'm saying? And I understand, you know, why they saying it because like we always say, it's a comfort in your area that you grew up in, that you accepted. You know what I'm saying? So any change is like, it make you uncomfortable and all that. it's like. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: That just tell me you don't wanna get with the times and I get that. You get what I'm saying? But I need you to recognize that that's what you want. You know what mean? And say that. And then find people in your own arena that's on that type time. Because the biggest thing about dating now is like you mix matching. You know what saying? a motherfucker want like a well stable man, but you in the club trying to find them. Not to say that they don't be in there, but it's like, what club you in? And then people that make money is like got time to go to the club. Jhalil: Yeah, we're over it, bro. Thank you. Deion: You see what I'm saying? So you guys setting yourself up already. Jhalil: It don't really end up. Deion: Would you say? Jhalil: Yeah, but it's so crazy because like, it's just so crazy though, because like, yeah, that's not the like ideal place, bro. But on some shit, bro, that's how I met my wife. You feel me? I was in the club. You know, we was in the club heavy back then. Like we was like, we really was heavy with it. Like, man, but at that time though in the club, I can say, dog, I was chilling. Like, you feel me? I wasn't looking for nothing. I was in the tuck. Deion: Yeah. Ew. Jhalil: Like I just had that shit on and she peeped me, you feel me? And it was like at the time I wasn't looking for no females. wasn't, man, I was chilling. So that shit, man, one thing led to another. Like, man, we actually started vibing after that. Like, you know, we exchanged contacts and all that. We started talking. Then it's crazy, cause after that, a little bit after that, we started talking. I had got booked. Deion: Yeah Jhalil: I ain't got a book for a little bit. So then when I came home, she just ended up hitting me, bro. She hit me on the DM, John. She like, yeah, I don't know if you remember me from that night, but I'm like, of course I remember you. But we had lost contact and everything, bro. She followed my shit. So it was like, damn, it was mint. But I never like... Deion: in your room. Yeah. Word. Jhalil: I never like, I don't think I would have fallen in love with some in the club type shit, bro. I ain't there for that, you know what I Deion: But that's not to say that you can't find it in there. You get what I'm saying? But more to your story, you and your wife's story is when you're not looking, that's the best thing. You get what I'm saying? So the point that was making, was like, that's for people that's looking for certain, you know what I'm saying? Jhalil: BEEEE Deion: You get what I'm saying? If you looking for a certain type of person, don't set yourself up and go to a place where, you know what mean? Like, you're not, it's gonna be limited. You get what I'm saying? It's gonna be a needle in a haystack. You don't know who in there does, you know what I'm saying? Like, of your standard or whatever you looking for. You get what I'm saying? So. Jhalil: Yeah Yeah Deion: I'm just saying like you gotta align your shit for what you want. But for real, for real, like the universe the best of the planet, like the, you know, God the best of the planet, like you get what I'm saying? And I think that's the biggest joy. Jhalil: Yeah I feel like if you looking for that, you ain't gonna find it, bro. That shit just gotta find you. Like, when the last time you just was looking for love and then you actually went out and found, like, bro, that is way deeper than we got a choice of. You can find somebody that you interested in and you know it could lead to one thing or another, whatever, but like... Deion: and I'm learning really. Jhalil: Actual love come in and like your partner come and all that you don't be looking for that shit You be doing something totally different You don't even be worried about that at the time you feel me it be usually coming stages when you just you want some reserved shit, bro, and you think You mean that night? I was like damn dog when I had my heart, bro Deion: Right. Jhalil: When I got booked for a little bit, bro, I lost the three little skinnies I was talking to and everything, you feel me? And that shit was like a little short jump. It was like a violation. So it's like, once I came back, I said, damn, they went left on me, you feel me? I ain't fucking with that. So I was on that type time, but then it was like, damn, they cleared out so I could meet the right skinny, you feel me? I'm like, damn. Deion: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But also too, also too, right? You gotta say, like, what was your thinking too? Because you was in the transition, I think. Jhalil: It was beautiful Mmm. Deion: Right? Like wanting to not, you know what I'm saying? Be all out there like we was. You get what I'm saying? And start really like homing in on just being, you know, yourself and getting yourself together. You feel what I'm saying? And not really worrying about the skinnies. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, that's what I mean. Like when it's like that, the universe is such a shit up for it to be appropriate. You know what I'm saying? So. When you say, I'm gonna take time for me and focus on me, you get what I'm saying? But at the same time, you like, I'm gonna get rid of this and that and I'm gonna be a good candidate. You get what I'm saying? Like, that's when the universe is going, like, you know what mean? Present, like, good people for you. You get what I'm saying? Like. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. ⁓ And a lot of people don't think like that. They don't like taking time to work on themselves and being un-toxic. You feel me? Being a good person and really working on shit and working on your flaws and all that. A lot of people don't look at it like that, bro. Especially a lot of the people who quote unquote be single now that you will see on social media. I always see them projecting like... with the other sexes doing wrong and what they need to do and how they need to approach them and all that. It's never like, damn, let me take a step back and figure out, if I do wanna get married, if I do wanna be a girl to this man, let me figure out how to be beneficial for both of us. I don't wanna just come with all this extra baggage, toxic shit, you feel me? But if they did, they would actually meet. Deion: Thank you Jhalil: better people. Deion: Mm-hmm. And I see the upper one was through. Jhalil: Bro, shit, you puttin' out toxic, that's what you gonna get. Deion: Right. And I see the other ones too, like women that's like put together, talk that good talk, you know what mean? Their mind is just right. They know, you know what saying? They can take accountability, responsibility. You feel what I'm saying? But they be married. You feel what I'm saying? Like they be already taken. Like, ⁓ Jhalil: Real shit, bro. They be the man ones. Cause a nigga ain't about to let that slip. Like, what? Like, a nigga ain't about to let that slip. You can take accountability. You know how to cook. You modest. Like, you, you somebody that I can see actually model with my family and fitting in. Like, you off the market from the rip. It's not just about looks and how you dress if you super bad, if you this and that. No, bro, if you fit the part. Deion: Right. you You need to read the book on that. Jhalil: Like you, you, you me? Like you getting taken off the market, bro. Deion: Listen, it's more women that would be deemed unattractive that got rings on. And the motherfuckers, all these bad bitches y'all call, mean, be looking at them like, how the fuck? She married because she does, she operate like a wife. And when you operate like a wife, somebody gonna make you a wife. You get what I'm saying? If you sit back and say, like, you don't even act, like you think you gonna push the button to turn wife on. Jhalil: Yeah, very sick. ⁓ shit. Deion: You know what saying? Like, a skinnier be like, yeah, no, I want to get married. You got to marry me and this and that. But you don't operate like a wife already. So you think you're going to switch on a button and then it's going to turn on? Jhalil: And it don't work like that. Alright. Yeah, men ain't stupid. You feel me? That's one thing, bro. We spend our whole life analyzing and, you know, determining and weighing options and all that. And to clarify, too, when we say, like, act like a wife or, you know, like, embody yourself as a wife, that don't mean, like, as soon as you get with a nigga, start doing wifely duties and all that. But it's just about how you present yourself and the things that you get into. All of that, bro. Deion: Okay. Alright. Jhalil: And I ain't gonna lie, bro, appearance is a big part and not looks appearance, but like how you present yourself in the world, like men, know, we real particular about that, bro, like, cause don't get me wrong, all men gonna look at hoes. You feel me? You shaking ass. Of course a man gonna like it, post something about it, comment on it or whatever, but it's really the females that got the class, bro, that men is really interested in. You feel me? Like, well, I'm that type of man. I'm interested in class, bro. You feel me? Like, who wants somebody that you already can see everything? You can see the mole on the butt cheek. You can see this. You can see that. Like, bro, it's like, it take away from the like, what's the word? I don't even know the word, bro. Deion: Mm-hmm. No, you won it, but it's like, right. Nostalgia, nostalgia. or is it? Jhalil: Yeah, take away from like that aspect, bro, like that undead, they're not knowing. You feel me? Like once you... Deion: that mystery is, that mystery is, yeah, like, that's the same thing with celebrities now, because you see them all the time, and take away that mystery, you feel me? Like, you can't just run up on regular, you know, celebrities before, like, but now they got social media, you see them all the time, so you would think it's regular, like. Like you know them. You get what I'm saying? So it definitely take all that away. Like you get what I'm saying? So same thing with dating for real. Like, you know what mean? And then it's weird cause you confusing. You get what I'm saying? Like you putting on this stuff to get the attention but certain attention. Like you can't zero it down to be like, I only want the cute niggas to look at like that's not going, it don't make sense. Jhalil: I don't know. Deion: You get what I'm saying? Like every nigga go and look at that shit. And you not gonna be put into no other category but you know saying? Like, and as simple as that, you feel what I'm saying? So all of this communication is like fucking the game up. You get what I'm saying? So, you know what I mean? Like. Jhalil: It don't make sense at all. Deion: Like being single right now and then you dating and shit and you probably like on an app and all of that. Like that is just fuck you all up. Like you'd rather date off the app than somebody approaching you in person. You probably have less to say. Motherfucker got less to say in person, but then get online and have paragraphs and all of that. It's like, you get what I'm saying? So like, it takes away like a lot of the like, like you said, the mystery and all of that. You get what I'm saying? Like, cause you can go to somebody, you can go to somebody's page and just like. Jhalil: Right, bro. Mmm. ⁓ Deion: Oh, are they into that? All right, they just, uh, oh, they was that there? Oh, they like going there? Okay, she be dressing, you know what I'm saying? And it's like. You bust your bubble though when you get in person and then you really start seeing the motherfucking life. You're like, You get what I'm saying? Like, hey, All that everyday shit, all that into it. That shit gone. You know what saying? And it's like, ⁓ man, this was a facade. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's the new, ⁓ what you call that? When they ⁓ not go shoot, but. Jhalil: Shit trash, bro. Lack substance, lack conversation. Get outta here. Deion: Remember the girl when a girl show you pretty pictures but then get in person and then she not what she say catfish. Jhalil: I don't Yeah, that's that's false advertisement, false advertising. That's what I call it. Get out of here. Deion: So this shit on that now, you know what I'm saying? You lifestyle catfished the nigga. You get what I'm saying? Like damn. But yeah. Jhalil: I ain't gonna lie though, dog, to be fair, like on some real shit, bro, we like that too. Cause it's like, bro, we don't show the world and we don't make videos every single day. Well, yeah, this is what I'm doing. This is how I did it. But when we in the world actually doing it, bro, we don't like, we actually doing it. Like we actually them people, you feel me? So it's like, I rather not. Give them everything online, bro. That shit too watered down. Anybody can do anything. I don't, you know mean? I'd rather show my shit at face value, bro. You might think I'm boring. You feel me? But then when we mobbing, you like, damn, dog, boy, cool as shit. Just like when we went to the event. They would have never knew. But when we pop out, bro, we pop out. Like, we really people. You know It's not just, I don't... Deion: Thank you. Yeah. Jhalil: I don't feel as cool on the internet as I do in real life, you feel me? But a lot of people, it's switched around. They don't feel as cool in real life as on the internet, right? And that's a bad place to be, cuz. Deion: Yay. And you know, the thing about it is like... When you, when you, when you, comparison is stuff to self. You know what saying? So like, because of social media atmosphere, like, there's so many people on there, you got so many more options now. You get what I'm saying? Like, cause people will venture out and even, you know, fly you in and stuff like that. So there's no limit to like, ⁓ I'm in Philly and you in Maryland. That nigga like, no, like they still make that happen. So now is more, is way more options, but less commitment. You get what I'm saying? So, and motherfuckers be looking for certain shit and you get what I'm saying? And, and a lot of that stuff can be already, you already like conditioned to like, Be a certain way. So then now you add on this, that make it even worse. You get what I'm saying? So if you wanted the nigga to take care of you, you know what mean? As you was taught or whatever, you know what I'm saying? Man be the provider, protector, and pleaser, These was early on, Jones. Jhalil: you Deion: So even before the internet, women used to lead with that. The options was more limited because you only can reach who you can talk to in person. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: You know what I Until the black plane. Jhalil: And back then, back then too, it felt like women didn't mind, you know, actually like extending that helping hand to like they partner. You feel me? It didn't feel like it was a burden back then to be like, all right, well listen, if you want to go work at the factory, I'm going to take care of the crib. I'm going to cook dinner. I'm going to have your shit ready. I'm going to do it. Like it was a team thing back then. But now it's like, You rarely see that team shit, bro. Everything be lopsided. You feel me? And this is like, it's not gonna work like that, bro, cause this not them times. You can't want them same like situations without putting that same type of effort in, bro. Cause it still exists. You feel me? You can find your perfect relationship, bro. But it's like now when you like, all right, for example, right. And men and women, we always had this back and forth. Like, all right, a man asks, like, yo, what can you bring to the table? Some females, they get defensive about that. Like, thinking that men is talking about money and paying bills and all that. Like, nah, relax, boo boo. You feel me? That's our job. We cool. Like, men know our job. You feel me? But what we're really asking is like, how can you make my life better? How can you help me out and lighten some of the load of the shit that I already got on my back? That's what that means. It don't mean like, ⁓ well, yeah, how much can you put up to the rent? How much can you put up to the, no, it don't mean that. It just mean like, damn, if I get with you, is this gonna be peace or is it gonna be war? You feel me? And then from that answer that you get, it's usually a clear drawn. Like that shit gonna be war. If you can't answer a question like that, if you don't have nothing to bring to the table, why would you even want to come sit down? Feel me? Why would you even want to be there? Like, nobody wants that, bro. Like, and that's, it can be a woman asking a man that. Bro, if you know for sure, like, if you know you want some broke shit, you not in the position to be dating, you know that, like, you can't be, you know, solo but one female. Deion: and Jhalil: You know you can't do certain things, bro. Why even waste that person's time? And that goes for both men and women. But it's like all that beefing and going back and forth and like all the shit that you heard and all that and trying to use that in today and your new relationship, that shit don't work, bro. Ain't nobody trying to hear that. You don't be single with cats or single with dogs. You feel me? Like, real right, bro. That's just how it go. Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: And you see every time we look up, bro, it's another year. So it's like, you, you're list this big, you feel me? And then like, the years grow, like, come on, bro, that all that dating shit, that's a young, that's a young woman, young man sport. Like that shit get hard, bro. I'm so scared to be single nowadays, Shit is all over for me. This shit don't work. I'm done. You think I'm trying it again? Deion: Hehehehehe Jhalil: I see all that shit everybody be going through. Maybe I'll just be looking from the outside in, I'm like, no, bro, I ain't meant to do all that and go through all that, bro. I don't like all the cat and mouse shit, dog. Deion: Yeah. Mm-hmm. But that's why I'm saying about options and shit, because now, like, is like dating become like... like a taking advantage of type of thing. You get what I'm saying? Like, skinny could be having dates with like five, 10 niggas. You get what I'm saying? Like, and you don't even care about none of that. Like, you just like, I'm dating. And then you could get away with murder or like you could get away with it. Cause like you could use that term like, what? We don't need dating. Like you get what I'm saying? It's like, bitch, you just. ⁓ Brody hard-working ass nigga like you ain't got no intentions on you mean or maybe you do but at the time of the crime you got five other ones too and then you got the choice to pick from them you get what I'm saying? lot of skinnies online bro it's just dating dating dating dating and dating like a lot of the profiles that say dating ain't ⁓ you know, at your house or whatever, which I can agree with, you get what I'm saying? So that tells me from the rip, you pausing like on a sex tip or even being in a space where sex could be, you know what mean? What about that early? But at the same time, like your own question, like your side, which is just dating and getting a nigga to pay for your food or go out, whatever, you know what I'm saying? Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: Like y'all don't look at that the same way. And it's always like that for everything. Jhalil: Yeah, I look at that as that's bum activity bro, you got five these lined up out of all them five days You ain't paying for none of them and you playing on doing the same thing, I think you poor. To be honest, bro, you feel me? It gotta be one potential that you like, all right, no, let me treat, I like him a little bit more. Let me get this nigga a steak, you feel me? Because he got potential. But it's like, no, like you gotta get this, you gotta get my nose done, you gotta get my hair done. All I hear is the can shaking with the coin in it. You broke. I don't wanna hear that shit, get outta here. Deion: Buh-bye. You Jhalil: You begging and shit. Like, you feel me? Like, come on, bro. Get out of here. If you using people for that solely and you know. Deion: You know we gotta do the, you gotta do the, right. You gotta do the due justice though and be like, it's lot of skinnies though that will do that. You know what I mean? Like, no, no, no. Jhalil: But if they don't offer it, if they don't offer it, bro, they fall in that category, bro. Like, just how they think men are supposed to do, you hear me? Deion: Yeah, for sure. That's who we talking about. I just don't want it to be like women and then they feel a type of way to like, oh no, it's because it's women that do carry it like that and they should get honored too. You get what I'm saying? And I don't want it to be like, you know what I'm saying? because I'm a, we people are like, I don't get stuck on stuff. Jhalil: Yeah, like that's it. Oh yeah, we're in the shit, dog. We're in the bag. Deion: You get what I'm saying? Like you are in battle about genders and all of that and we ain't had nothing to do with who a gender we are. I didn't ask to be a man, you ain't asked to be a woman. If you want to accept like the rules and stuff that has been presented to you since your birth and coming into this world and you think you got to fight against that, I'm sorry baby but that's a losing fight. Jhalil: All right. Where it works. you Deion: and you got too many examples around you to show that. So to me, I'm like, nah, I didn't been here long enough to where I got programmed. But then I was like, I'm gonna do this shit my way. You get what I'm saying? And that's how I be trying to tell skinnies, like when I'm talking to them, like, get what you want out of this shit, man. Don't be trying to look at the opposite to give you something. Jhalil: Rude. Rude, right, right. . Deion: And we not like, we connected as souls, but we not like mind readers and shit like that. I don't know what the fuck. It's like, because of social media, right? It put a jawn in your jawn like a fast forward to be like, like almost like you didn't think you know me and shit. And we don't gotta go through the baby steps. Jhalil: Mm hmm. Deion: You know what saying? So when you talking to me is like, talk, I have an idea what you do for work. And it's like, I'm a this, I'm a STIP. All right, bitch, what the fuck is that? Like you giving initiatives and shit? Like I wasn't in your class. I don't know. Like, you know what I'm saying? But if I respond back, it's like, what's that? It's like, you don't know what that? I'm like, whoa, like. Jhalil: I'm gonna go to sleep. Deion: Fuck no, bitch, I'm in podcasting. I'm in construction. Say something like that, yeah, I don't know. But I'm not in the medical field. I wasn't in your class. So you gotta talk to me like you mean. But you think you talking dumb. Like everybody supposed to know like certain things. It's like, yo, you lost your humane. Jhalil: Right, bro. Deion: Like we forgot how to be human. You feel what I'm saying? Like, what do you mean? Like you get me and I'm like, we get to this dating thing and it's like, I asked the skinny one time like, like what's dating for you? Like, you feel what I'm saying? Like I'm trying to understand. You feel me? Like, like, no, you just got to ⁓ take me on dates. I ain't, no, we can't do nothing if we ain't going on dates and shit. Like just take me on a date. I'm like, Jhalil: Hey, where's it? . Deion: Like this, don't want to hear how robotic you sound. Like you sound robot. Like I'm talking plain English to you instead of like responding back to join the conversation. Like you stuck on just repeating the same shit. I'm like, this shit where you go to say, cause it's like, and so. Jhalil: And that's how a lot of skinnies get tricked. Cause it's like, all right, you talking all that, you just want to go on dates. All right, so now you're going to get the dates just so he can get what he want. You feel me? Like that's, that's what's going to be his reason to take you on dates, bro. And I ain't going to lie. That shit, that shit kind of sound like prostitution. You need something to, know what I mean? Come on, like. You need something to do something like we exchanging like shit for like, come on bro. That's prostitution. Ain't nobody trying to hear that shit. And there's no problem like, cause you know a real man, bro, he meet the right female is like, dog, you don't mind doing those things, bro. You automatically want to when you meet the right skinny, but us in that first stage, we got to make sure you're the right skinny. Deion: You feel me? So. Mm-hmm. Jhalil: We not about to just leave with our pockets, bro. That shit in bad every time, bro. Now you broke and you don't got the skinny. You feel me? So it's like, what's the point in keep doing that, bro? So if you can't get past the simple, you know, just talking and all of that, like that first date shouldn't be nowhere crazy. You think I'm out to spend a thousand dollars or something the first time I meet you? What if your breath stink? You feel me? Like. Deion: Hahaha Jhalil: What if you don't know how to dress? What if I'm not feeling like, I'm not about to do that, bro. Is you crazy? So the head of standard so high before you even know a person is wild to me. Like, you know what I Real rap, you like coffee? Like, real shit, we don't gotta go to Dunkin'. We can go to Starbucks if we want to or one of these, you know, boozy coffee shops or something. But like, I ain't about to spend no stack on like a stranger. Deion: Yeah. Yeah, and you know it. Jhalil: Are you crazy? Niggas got real life expenses and bills and insurance and everything else, bro. That's real life. I know that. I know what that is. You feel me? We got a connection now because we've been paying this shit for years. But just meet a stranger off the street and just be like, well, yeah, I'm going take you to steak 48. I sent you $700 for your nails and your hair, and I'm going to rub your feet. Like, bro, that shit is fake. That's in a book. Deion: No, it wouldn't. Jhalil: That's on a tubie movie or something like get out of here Deion: Oh, but this niggas that's doing it. This niggas that's doing it and then that gives permission for women to like take that one little single jump and try and make it everyone. You get me? And it's only like that in the vein to try and make they pool bigger. Now they got more options. You get what I'm saying? So if you manipulate a man, you know, the men. to think like, all right, well, you know, going all out, you know what I'm saying? Then you got a nigga that really verify it like, are you supposed to take care of women? You know what saying? You got them type niggas that's like, talk that shit, you feel me? They might be well off financially, don't give a fuck. They might be capping. They might be under, you know what I'm saying? Like good luck at the time. Like they can splurge a little cause they keep running. Jhalil: Yeah Deion: you know a certain amount of money or whatever like that you know what saying like all that shit be stupid and to me man if you get caught in that shit you a dumb motherfucker man you heard me like because like nah like our shit not the same like that man and for you to even want me to be the same as another motherfucker bitch you can go ahead kick rocks you heard me like fuck as you talking I don't want you on my team anyway you hear me like because that ain't it, you get what I'm saying? But on the last of the single joints, I tell women all the time though, like take control, stay in control. You don't wanna find yourself like that crazy joint and you don't like the food and you don't like this or like, and I mean, that sit back shit and allow a man to come in and do this and that, like. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: But y'all got so many experiences of how that ends But y'all want to stick to that that same shit. It don't make no sense No, you got to change it up to get the different results. You get what I'm saying? Stay in control You pick the place on where you want date and all that Y'all talking about, you know, a man supposed to be already knowing and this is how the fuck you gonna know You don't know you you get what I'm saying? Jhalil: ⁓ right. Deion: And then the simple fact that if a man did that, you like, oh, you would think all bitches like to go to any of these. Like you like, oh, you think all this is like, but you told me to have a plan from the rep and this is the one that always works. So why wouldn't I go with that? like, you get what I'm saying? And that's why I'll be like, I don't, I can't get with women cause y'all confused beings and abused. Jhalil: No, sorry. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Deion: You know what saying? I'm talking about as is now with all of these conditionings and programmings and y'all now working for the ops and all of that. Like I'm talking about that stuff. You get what I'm saying? And I say, yeah, y'all working for the ops. Cause like, if you bring any of that outdoor shit into the house, you working for the ops. Cause like, you feel what I'm saying? Like if you don't allow your man peace and, and, and, Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: ⁓ comfort and all of that when he into the home and all that you on turkey time you get what i'm saying like and that's not even the say like because because you might could use that i'm like no see you trying to tell women how they should be and it's like no i'm not telling you how you should be i'm just saying like if it's your man do your man according to your man don't do your man according to with your girlfriends talking about or with social media talking about or like with the government or any fucking body else besides your fucking man. You get what I'm saying? Like, don't ever ask like, yeah, I mean, you know, some stuff is right, right? Cause you might be in the store, right? In the skinny body. Yeah, I'm looking for some shit for my man. Like you think he like niggas wear this type shit. Jhalil: Okay. Mm hmm. Deion: Or like you fuck with these types because you know it might be a surprise to him and she can't really talk to him. You feel me Sue? You feel me but and and that I don't mean to be long-winded and shit bro but it's like I want to say this like Cause a lot of times man like, a lot of the problems in all of that stem from all of that stuff. Who taught you I'll be in a relationship? Jhalil: Yeah, it most likely do. Deion: Who taught you I'd be in a relationship? Who dis and Jhalil: And they be somebody broken. Somebody broken told you, you be like. Deion: You found me, buddy. What happened to like the real feelings you felt when you really met ⁓ an opposite, right? I'm talking about early on, right? And you was vulnerable. You ain't know nothing about like, like cheating and all of this stuff. Like, you feel me? So you gave a nigga your real you. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Mmm. Deion: The bros gave a nigga, the bros gave women the real them. That's why you see them women later be like, no nigga, you like, I remember that little Kim poster in your room. Like, you know what saying? They know little intimate details that they can really blast niggas with because we was that vulnerable and cool back then. You get what I'm saying? Like, so I'm talking about, that's why I'm saying I'm talking about all parties, bro. Jhalil: Mmm. Mm-hmm Deion: the men that allow like all that old stuff to interrupt, I mean interrupt like how you moving now. You get what I'm saying? So it's like, if you remove all that, you will get a good guy, man, a good candidate and can match with any other woman that's on the same type time. But because you got all of this. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Yes. Deion: all of this toxic shit and like you accepted like a lot of the rules and regulations that was put out for us It's like it's never gonna work. Jhalil: You caught up. Yeah, you getting caught up, bro. Other people ideologies and shit, bro. Deion: You know what mean? But shit, we jump right into like, we jump right into like, you know, going from single to actually being in a relationship, And then what happens to dating thereafter, you feel me? Like, you start getting into routines, you start getting into everyday life, you know I'm saying? All that stuff start not being important. Not even that is not important, it just goes away from your mind. Jhalil: Gosh, you're definitely crazy. Deion: You know what saying? Cause like now y'all in action. Now y'all in action, y'all in real life. Y'all got bills and all that. you now you looking at that shit. Like you feel me? Like nah, baby, we ain't got 200 to go to, you know mean? But we might as spare a bean. You know what I'm saying? Like we might as spare a bean that uh, uh. Jhalil: Yeah, life started happening, bro. Mm-hmm. ⁓ Deion: You get what I'm saying? Or you might not even be on there to where it's though you even dating period. Like y'all ain't even going out. You feel what I'm saying? But you you being married, man. But you being married, like, you know what mean? Speak on how that shit is and where y'all at with it. You feel me? Well, you know, y'all could get better or, you know. Jhalil: Niggas, that shit happens too. Deion: y'all get influence or motivate other people or whatever it is, you feel me? Give it to them. Jhalil: Yeah, because I ain't gonna lie, know, like in that first stage, like when you first start talking and dating and all that shit, it's fun, it's fresh. You feel me? So it's like you constantly doing new shit and you learning this new person. So it's like, that shit, that's always the easiest stage. But once you get really like locked into it, like once you years in, you beat that one year mark and all of that shit and you get into five years and seven years and all that shit. That shit definitely, it die down for a minute. You feel me? Cause you get lost in other shit. Like we was young, bro. was like, she was 23, bro. I was 25. We started a business. So like that was our, like you feel me? That was our thing. We still was going out and shit like that. But then it was like to a point where it was like, man, like business got so serious, bro, that we just doing business for real, for real. You can hear me? Deion: ⁓ Jhalil: ⁓ yeah, so we, you know, so like the dates die down a little bit. Like we still go on dates, but at a certain point it just, it don't feel like dates no more. You feel? It don't feel like dates sometimes. Like even if we do go out to dinner or we do do this, like, so it's like, I don't know. That's kind of tricky, bro. Like real shit. Like we go on dates, but they don't feel like dates. Deion: it. Now you take it would be... Now you think it would be more lucrative if y'all did activity type things? Cause dinner, like you said, might just feel like we just switched locations. That's it. Like, you get me? It's like we sitting down. Jhalil: But no, yeah, that's the thing. And we do activity shit too. Now, Dome Jones definitely feel more like Deet. I ain't gonna lie, bro. When she took me to the range and shit like that, bro, that's a good Deet for me. I was like, damn, she really took me on a Deet. For Father's Day, one of them years, bro, she flew me out to Fort Lauderdale. We went to Miami and all that shit. Bro, that was all on her. Deion: Alright. Jhalil: Now at this level, that's how our dates go. Like that's the shit that I like these when we traveling and we doing some extravagant shit, but that's what me. But I had to like chill out too, cause like it's, made me stop appreciating like the little shit. Like when we, you know, just go into the movies or we going to do something in the city or your man, like that shit don't be feeling good enough sometimes. But at the same time, bro, it's about the bond. Real shit, bro. Like, you know how niggas get boozy after a while, bro. We done turned it up and all this. Like, we did that all this shit together, dog. Like, so all this extravagant shit. So now it's hard to do like simple things. Like, I don't have fun doing that shit. Like, you man. And I be like, man, you try going on a trip. You want to go through this? Deion: And... Jhalil: Real rap. So it's like, it's the same thing, bro. We did the dates. We so many years in, but it's like, I still appreciate them Jones though. I appreciate my mama and my wife, you feel me? So if it's something that she enjoyed to do, even if it's local, bro, I gotta be happy doing that shit, bro, because it make her happy. And I'm cool with that, because it ain't like I'm feeking it. No. Deion: Yay. Jhalil: I really want my wife to be happy, you feel me? So I can't just always look at it like, nah, bro, my fund is on the plane. I'm trying to be out. I'm trying to grab a rental drive for a state to over. Like that's fun for me. Like was like we learned how to meet each other in the middle. Deion: Alright. Thank you. You think it's important like for both parties to be audit or like Jhalil: ⁓ yeah, yeah, it's definitely important for both bro, cuz... Deion: I mean, right. know, but for me, I get it, you know what mean? But like for me, I'm like, if you wanna do the trips, if you wanna do this, if you wanna do that, like why, why you can't just do it? And then we do it. You get what I'm saying? Like why both parties gotta be in on... You get what I'm saying? Like a woman to be taking a man out and be like, damn, why don't you give effort and give, like you do something now. Like you get what I'm saying? And it's like, if you're good at it and you like, you know what I'm saying? It's a thing of yours. I think you should carry it. Jhalil: Yeah. Deion: You see what I'm saying, baby? Jhalil: But I don't know, but I think it's like, know, and the marriage though, bro, that shit, like all the shit that you would wanna do, like you can't, you gotta throw most of that shit away, bro. It's about what we wanna do. Like, you feel me? And, you know, especially once you marry and you got kids and all that, bro, it become a team effort. Like this shit really a team. Everything is a team, bro. So like. Yeah, you might get to solo travel or go with your homegirls. ⁓ We might slide out, go somewhere. That's cool, but it always resort back to like, all right, how do we have fun together? You feel me? I might not wanna go to the movies. She might not wanna go do no nature shit, but we gotta find something that's middle ground so where it's like, all right, we both enjoy ourselves, bro. And that's like, I ain't gonna lie, that's the toughest part. Deion: I mean, you know I And that's why I'm saying like, why make it tough? You get what I'm saying? Like, it's like, if you plan and dates and all that, and that's your part on the team, you the point guard, whatever. You know what I'm saying? I'm the small forward. I'm gonna be there, rebound, everything. You know what I'm saying? I'm with you, but that's what you do. ⁓ I'm just saying like, don't interrupt that. with wanting to have me do it. And then now I gotta get into it. Now I gotta become the planner and all of this. It's not what I do. It's not what I, you know what I'm saying? And women that have a big thing like, now I want you to want to do it. Like, bro, like what the fuck? I'm doing what I wanna do. Jhalil: ⁓ yeah, yeah, no, I like that. And bro like on some real shit bro men is not wired for like being all romantic and like having like that shit is a fairy tale bro like men is not wired like that. Now I ain't gonna lie probably is a 10 % of men that's like alright yeah I set up the date I picked you out a dress I know exactly what you want to eat like Deion: Only because of the conditioners though. Only because of the conditioners. It ain't the men. Jhalil: Yeah, I like, I ain't never wake up and think none of that shit, bro. I'm sorry, bitch. I don't know what we doing, but I got the paper. We out. You feel me? could try to be romantic once in a while and you gotta take that as effort. Like when a motherfucker really trying to be like, that's not our natural job, bro. I'm not naturally romantic to none of that, bro. So it's like, that's just not in my wiring. Deion: But that's what I'm saying. You would do that shit so much, right, as my wife, right? You would do that shit so much that I get inspired and then I do it out the blue. And then it's more of a surprise. It's more to it. You get what I'm saying? It got more value to it. But don't look for me to do it. It's the same thing. The same thing I'm saying, bro, is how women say, Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: Don't approach me with sex from the roof. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Deion: Let me what fuck you. Let me what have sex with you, cause of what you do. You get what I'm saying? Like because you move me in that direction to do it. The same thing, you feel me? Like don't, don't fucking come to me, questioning me about my finances and all of this. Like. Jhalil: Mm hmm. Deion: Let me be motivated by you to take you to Eddie V's and Skylo and all these places. You get what I'm saying? Like, let me do that because of how you are. You know what I'm saying? Like, and that's what I mean. Like, you get what I'm saying? Jhalil: Exactly. I don't just think it's automatic just because. Deion: Whitney had more value to it, you get what I'm saying? If I'm like, all right, right, and I switch it. Because, you know, I know y'all intimately, like so, you might be like, yeah, I want babe to be more in the business with me. But you crushing the business. You get what I'm saying? Like, for you to want her to be inclusive, it's something else to it. not just because you can't handle it by yourself because you can handle it you've been doing it you get what i'm saying so to ask her to to stop whatever she got going to be inclusive as you are You get what I'm saying? Like it just throw everything up. Now you not focused on the drawing as you normally would be. See now you not focused on planning the next trip because you worrying about if I'm a plan the next trip. Jhalil: you game or shit. Deion: So now we both losing like ooh when you do that type of thing you get what I'm saying like and so that's what I mean like putting those type of things in the play like you know what mean? Cause a mother fucker relationship could be going good bro. You got everything shit looking good you mean? But a mother fucker just throw a monkey wrench in the joint on some outside shit like. Jhalil: you Deion: What the fuck was the need of you interrupting? You get what I'm saying? Like, I got something to say, I'm talking to you and you don't really got nothing to vie you, but you just gotta say something like, cause you feel like you gotta say it. You get what I'm saying? Like, nah, like you never let me talk. Look, you never let me talk. All right, go ahead and talk. Jhalil: That's a nice shirt. Deion: Yeah, cause you never let me fucking talk. I'm like, why bitch I just gave you the stage and then you gonna repeat like this why you don't get the stage. Like why the fuck would I just give you this? We logical people as men, you get what I'm saying? So if it logically don't make sense, it's like. Jhalil: No. Yeah Deion: How you keep trying to manipulate me with these girl ass things like I'm not a girl, I'm never gonna be a girl. Ladies, listen the fuck up, men are never gonna be women. I don't care about all this trang, whatever you wanna say, but men, men, I'm talking about men. Don't include nothing else that's different than the man. I'm talking about a man that identifies as a man. Jhalil: We don't even know how to act like women or think like women and none of that. ⁓ shit, bro. We don't know nothing about that, bro. Deion: You get what I'm saying? Like, he would never be a fucking woman. This shit piss me off a little bit, bro, because it's like... They didn't convince women to want what men got and all of that. But y'all the real ones, y'all the true ones, y'all who we do this shit for, y'all who a man would be a man for. You get what I'm saying? So why would you want to be a man? You want the privilege of a man? You want all that stuff. It's like, it's so crazy. Jhalil: Yo bro, if I ain't have a woman... Bro, if I didn't have a woman, if I didn't have a family to provide for, bro, I wouldn't be doing none of this shit. Like, bro, I don't think I'll be doing none of this shit, bro. I'll probably be drawling out this, bro, I'll be fucking drawling. That's what I'ma say. Like, anything I feel like doing at that time, I'll be doing. I'll be gambling, I'll be... Deion: You Yeah. Jhalil: I'll be traveling, I'll be fucking the bread up, I'll be getting the bread back, I'll be doing whatever. You feel me? But it's a level of structure that you have, and it's a level of structure that when you got a female, that shit help you upgrade. You feel me? So it's vital though that you do deal in good relationships. So it's like... Deion: Good. Yeah. Jhalil: Yeah, we got our, our stage or, you know, we go through our shit as partners and like we go through these stages thinking that, oh, why are you supposed to know how I'm feeling? And she think that, you know, we supposed to know what they're thinking. And it's like, no, bro, it just don't, it don't add up like that, bro. We two different like species for real, for real. Like, for real, for real. Like we're not the same. Like we compliment each other, but we don't think the same. We don't act the same. We don't do the same things. And that's not a problem, but we got to find a way to coexist together and make each other stronger. That's what this shit is about. So like, don't think that like, ⁓ yeah, my nigga, like you see a home girl, her dude brought her some flowers or something, and then you hit us with the, ⁓ well, you never romantic. Deion: You Jhalil: Hey, my fault, like I'm sorry. Like running a business, I'm being a dad, like I'm sorry. You feel me? But that's not naturally there for me, bro. Deion: you Jhalil: ⁓ We can't beat each other up about that type of shit dawg. That's all you see nowadays, bro. Both sides got black eyes, man. Real shit. Deion: Raccoon shit like. Raccoon shit. You hear me? Like, get with me. Understand what I'm saying. Like, raccoon. Coon. Coon. From the slave times. Like, get out of that coon activity, man. Like, you feel me? Like, we gotta get to a space where we ourselves, man. And the thing about divide and conquer is to take people away from the individualism. Jhalil: It's not thorough, dawg. We're rich. Deion: You get what I'm saying? And now you're operating off of what the masses is doing. You get what I'm saying? So that just takes you out of the realm of just being in something that's genuine, straight up, and can be long lasting. You get what I'm saying? Because of all of this stuff, we ain't in a position to... Jhalil: Yeah Deion: do no long lasting relationships, you get me? And then they get to a point where now people start questioning it. Yo, you know man, should we be in a poly? Cause just being with one person, man, it ain't enough. You get what I'm saying? And it's cause all of that bullshit. You don't never deal with that bullshit. You don't feel that way. You feel me? Cause Naturally, you just wanna be with the one person that you can sell the world with and have that great partnership with. ⁓ You know what saying? They get you, you get them, you get what I'm saying? And y'all doing this life thing together. Life partners, you get me? So, you know, from the conditioning of marriage and all of these type of things, you get what I'm saying? Like, shit probably originated with just... Jhalil: you Deion: jumping the broom or whatever fancy shit. They couldn't even started with that but it's like they probably started with just like a note like I love you bitch we gonna be together this is my commitment. You feel me? Then it turned into a broom and all these throwing rice and Jhalil: Nah, bro, and I think that shit started, it's just that feeling. Like, you know, when you see the right skinny, you meet the right person, bro, you get that feeling. Like, it's a warm ass joint, you be like, damn, when you think about this person, you wanna do shit with this person, all of that, and then both of y'all feel like that, like. Deion: Near me. Jhalil: Back then that shit probably was just like, yeah, like we rocking, bro. Like, I don't think it was none of the titles and shit. Deion: No, but that's, I feel like, I feel like it was just like that, what you said, they felt it. And it wasn't no outside shit. It wasn't nothing to say like, ⁓ you shouldn't be with them or he should treat you like, no, y'all felt each other so y'all did it all for what y'all felt. You get what I'm saying? If you felt like opening the door for it, you felt like opening the door for it. Jhalil: Eww. you Deion: You get me? Somebody else saw that and was like, ⁓ that's what men should do. So then every man start opening doors and shit, and then it become the expectation from a woman to be like, I expect you to open my door. What? For me to walk around the car, you selfish as shit. How crazy is that? That's a selfish ass thinking. Jhalil: Yeah Deion: that I should come all the way around a car to open it up. I mean, it's cute, it's nice. But you know what mean? Like that come from somewhere else. You feel me? And if I was doing something that other niggas did, you would be like, yo, you look nut. Like how you following what somebody else is doing? Like you get what I'm saying? But when there's a thing that you like and you cool with it, it's all right, man. Jhalil: Yeah Hmm. Deion: Oh, I'm the nigga. Like, you feel me? niggas taking they bitches to Eddie B's, I should take them too. Like, you get what I'm saying? He's like, what? Like, don't confuse me with that shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, don't tell me, like, don't act like other niggas. then when other niggas present certain shit you like, you like, act like other niggas. Nah, you trippin'. And if you what other nigga, cause he doing all the gold, dude. Jhalil: you Deion: go, go do that. And vice versa. Like, if I wanted that, I am not gonna sit here and talk to you about it. I'ma just go and go do that. But I'll let you know, like, nah, this ain't gonna be for me. You feel me? Like, now if you inquire, like, shit, well, what would it be for you? Like, maybe I can adapt. Jhalil: by all means, bro, that'll make it easier on both parties. if that's you feel is the- Deion: Now we talking some shit, you feel me? Like you willing to convert, you know what I'm saying? Based on, you know, moving forward. And that's decent. Cause if you doing that for me, I'm willing to do that for you. But you gotta have thorough people that's going, you know what I'm saying? Go together with you, like, you feel me? Jhalil: you Most of this shit now, like we was talking about earlier, it's too lopsided, bro. It's like too many expectations. And then it's like, damn, these expectations that's going around, people don't even know who generated this bullshit. You feel me? We just running with it. Like we don't know about none of this shit, bro. We don't know where it originated from. We don't know where Yara came in. We don't know none of that shit, bro. But it's just like, ⁓ we live by it. This is law. Deion: words. Mmm. Jhalil: That's one of the main reasons, bro, why people can't find the right match. You gotta get rid of all that, bro, and just be yourself, ⁓ Deion: How you gonna find your match and you not even yourself? How you gonna find your match? How you gonna find your match if you not yourself? Like your match would get, you would skip over your match cause you not yourself. If he met you today and you carrying it like Mimi and them or you carrying it like, you know what I'm saying? Jhalil: ⁓ shit, you, you acting like something. Roof shit bro. That don't work. Deion: No wonder your shit isn't like the way that it is. No wonder. You feel me? You can't ask these questions and then we living the way we live. You get what I'm saying? Like, if that shit ain't not operational, y'alls, I don't even understand how it ain't, how it get included. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, like my kid's mama be like, yeah, we'll. Jhalil: Alright. Deion: ⁓ My other friends, co-parent like this. I'm like, who that again? Such and such and such, okay, well that's such and such and such and such. You get what I'm saying? Like, damn, my mom do this at her house. What are you trying to get at, kid? Jhalil: Ready? We not there, we here. Deion: I know you know the difference of where you at. So what are you trying to by saying that? Let's get to the meat and bones of the drum and let's not get caught up in that other shit. You get what I'm saying? Don't talk circles to me. We on squares, kid. Like, you feel me? Like, we on squares, kid. Straight like that. Jhalil: You you Soon, Deion: But that's the type of stuff when you bite the bait for that type shit. Now you go, what the best bitch, you, you know what I'm saying? Now there's stuff entered in your jaw that didn't even need to be there. Jhalil: ⁓ Shroofer... Deion: You get what I'm saying? Like, you know how many motherfuckers broke up because hypotheticals? Like, what the fuck is we talking about? You know what saying? Like, you... Yeah, what is this? That's why we just put that in our journal. We was cool. Our energy was high. We was banking on each other. You get me? Like, now we didn't put this in and we arguing and debating and, bruh, go to war. Don't fucking... Jhalil: That's why I'm happy though, like in our marriage bro, I don't gotta go through all that shit like that. Like it probably was a point in like the earlier times where we went through certain shit like that. But now it's like we know each other so good. I'd be like wife now, you know I don't give a fuck about them. You know I don't wanna hear that shit. You know we gotta pay 400, like I'm worried about that. Like real shit, so we don't even waste time on that shit. We straight to the meat and bones like you said, bro. We ain't doing all that, bro. Real shit. Like, and I tell her in a minute, I ain't that type of man. The fuck is you talking about? Deion: Mmm. Jhalil: And she'll tell me too, like, what the fuck, who you think I am? I ain't one of these bitches. And I'll be like, yeah, I feel you. That's why you my bitch, you man? I love you to death, shorty. Deion: Thank Yeah. Jhalil: I like that bro don't just conform just cuz even just cuz like yeah I say I want this or I don't do this like bro you gotta be able to shut that shit down too cuz if that's not you that's not you like yeah man that shit is like I love that shit like I mean don't disagree with everything I say now you mean that's taking it too far but some of this shit yeah I'm cool with that alright you know still Deion: Yeah. A little bit, little bit. Jhalil: still peace in that, like it's peace in disagreements too if you know how to disagree without arguing. You feel me? Like everything ain't no argument, bro. Disagreement can be a discussion. You get your side out, get my side out, then we like, damn, we both on some bullshit. Now we cooler. We don't keep letting that same shit come in, but that's that shit that you get when you work on yourself. Deion: Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Jhalil: Like to get to this level in relationship, bro, I had to do a lot of working on myself, bro. You know at one point, bro, I, come on, dog, I wasn't shit like this. But it's like now, bro, where I'm at now, like I know how to do this relationship shit. I understand it's not about how, just how I feel. It's not about how she just feel. It's not about how just how the kids feel. None of that shit, bro. It's a collective. Deion: Hmm. Jhalil: Because we building a fucking, like we a team, like we a super team in this joint. You feel me? So all aspects of this joint count, but not one aspect of this joint count more than the rest of them. You feel me? So that's just how this shit go and that's how this shit flow. You know what mean? Deion: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And that's inclusive, too, right? And dating when you got kids and all that, you know what I'm saying? So that may get a little, you know... Jhalil: Yeah Deion: challenging or whatever, you feel me? But you still gotta put in the effort and you still gotta make it happen, you feel me? In order for everybody to continue to just be happy, you feel me? You doing stuff, you got motion, you get what I'm saying? That'll give you more talking points, you know what saying? When you are laying in the bed. Jhalil: Okay. Deion: And you could talk about, you know, the time y'all went here to this and that or the next date and this and that, you know what mean? So those pillow talk conversation become a little more, you know what I'm saying? Intriguing and of value. You get what I'm saying? And you can really connect with a person, bro, and rock out like, ain't nothing like it. I don't think. Jhalil: right, what Kendrick say? He said, gossip with my bitch like I'm young thug too. Like, bruh, that lay in the bed, you know what Bustin' up. It ain't nothing like that, bro. You know mean? Real shit. if you gonna do this shit, bro, you gotta do this shit to the max. And when you do this shit to the max, you gotta understand some of the shit that you, like, some of the shit that you grew up on and all that is not relevant to what y'all got going on currently, bro. So some of that shit, a lot of that shit, you gotta get rid of, bro. Deion: And you know, and Jhalil: That shit might have been cool for our parents and grandparents and all that, but damn, bro, it's 2026, bro. Like, nigga, gas, $5. Houses is $300,000, a million dollars, all that, bro. Houses in like the 70s and 80s and all that shit was probably 18,000. 23,000 for a beautiful home with land and all, like, bro, all of that shit is done. Like niggas paying 15 for rent, 500 for the car, 200 for the insurance, another 500 for the utilities, childcare for the, like we paying all of this shit, bro. And it's like, we don't got time to be living in no fantasy land, bro. We gonna be living on fantasy street. Like real shit, bro. So all that, that's not relevant, bro. And it might. Deion: You Jhalil: It's unfortunate that, you know, we can't just always do the shit that we want to do and the shit that we see that look thorough and all that. But like, we gotta be real, bro. The only way we gonna reach that point is by working on teams and working together and getting building towards that goal. It don't, it's not just gonna happen on my fucking back. You feel me? My back, it ain't that fucking strong. You feel me? Your back, it ain't that fucking strong. mean? So it's like... Deion: Hmm Word. Jhalil: It's reality too, bro. All that shit online that you see, bro, you gotta remember, this online shit is what people want you to see. You feel me? It ain't everything. Like real shit, cause it'd be the same motherfuckers making all these videos trying to inspire you and do this, but they sleeping somewhere that look fucking crazy. You feel me? Or whatever, like they ain't even eat today. Deion: Mmm. Jhalil: You know what mean? Well, you listening to shit that motherfuckers like just cause it's sam, that shit ain't always the deal, Don't get me wrong, it is some shit on here that you can listen to, but I don't take no shit that's gonna make your situation worse, bro. And you know mean? All right. Deion: Mm-hmm. And you're not even knowin' like, you're not even knowin' like, you feel what I'm sayin'? It's like, you know, Skinny asked me like, what you wanna get married? I'm like, not like that. Not like how they taught, you know what I'm Like, not like they taught you how to get married? No, fuck no. Jhalil: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, bro. Deion: You know what I'm I don't follow other people's shit like that, you know what I'm saying? Like, I just call me weird, call me out the box, call me lonely, call me all that shit, but what I ain't gonna do is give in to that. Whatever people be talking about, bro, I don't, man. Like, you gotta understand, man. Like, if it ain't of you. Jhalil: Bye. Thank Deion: I don't understand it. Like, you feel what I'm saying? Like, don't get the telling me about somebody else. The things I learned, bro, the things that you don't want to let go be the things that keep you stuck. One of my sucks in cigarettes, bro. But other than that, nothing else. You feel me? Especially of the stuff that's of people audiology, like what you believe to be true. once the masses start doing a certain thing, I'm like, I'm out. Because what is that? What do you mean everybody doing the same? Jhalil: Mm hmm. Okay. Deion: So then it become competition now. Now you trying to outdo the wedding before. Now you putting pressure on another nigga. He spend 50 that he ain't really got. Now his girl got him about to spend 60. Jhalil: Hey, bro, on one day. You feel me? That should be one day. Deion: And niggas don't supposed to be at rage when they don't make it in a divorce after two years or something. Like, this has been 60... 60 years? Jhalil: He's supposed to just talk it and just give you hand for the bread, give you a hand for this. That shit be like, ugh. Deion: Mix these racks bro. And then it used to be right? It used to be the dad would pay for the high goat. dad got paid. You know I'm saying that shit bro. You just born and then you a dad because you had a kid and now you got by definition you got paid for a wedding. Like. Jhalil: lot of motherfuckers don't even got dads. You feel me, like, real, Deion: volunteer me who the fuck volunteer men to do all this shit bro I'm like y'all turkey bro y'all lining niggas up cuz first of all most whoever controlling this shit know that every man can't do it Every man can't do no $80,000 ass fucking ring from Zells or whatever these diamond places is, you know what mean? And I know that to be true, because all that diamond shit came into play in the 19 somethings. And all it is is to make a man pay for more shit. They make it where your girl want everything in the world, and you gotta go out and go get it. Jhalil: Yeah Deion: They make it to where your kids won everything in the fucking world and you gotta go out and get it. Jhalil: But then daddy just get a sweater and a mug. That should be like damn a mug, a sweater, like some socks. Like come on cuz like really. Deion: Hahaha! ⁓ You're trippin' me, God. You won't fool me, fam. What's the lie? You won't fool me, fam. Fuck you talkin' about, man. Jhalil: See you. And daddy don't get no SRT and none of that shit or none of this shit that he want, no three holes, none of that. He don't get none of that. So it's like. Deion: NOOOO My kid gonna, my boy gonna come up and say, dad where my iPad? I don't fucking know it's yours. You know what saying? Like, he gonna ask me where his stuff at. Yo, you gonna... Jhalil: Real rave, like, they got eye-boarded for you, bro. That's your property, like. I got my own property to track down, you know mean? Deion: You feel what I'm saying? So now you want me to buy it, keep up with it, and y'all don't even notice this. Y'all just think it's supposed to be like this. Y'all just, you feel what I'm saying? I'm like, nah, I can't subscribe. Jhalil: And society do too, bro, because that shit be like, yeah, should have just... Niggas be dying, young as shit. You feel me? Niggas be dying, fucked up and all that. Hey, the funeral, let's continue. You feel that? That shit don't be, he be like, damn, this shit. That's why I was like, man, I ain't going to lie, bro. I don't really, I don't mind being married, bro, because my wife really be rocking, you feel me? Like real shit, my family, like dog, especially my fucking daughter, bro. Like right now, I don't know if it's cause she's not a teenager yet, dog. Deion: Mm-hmm. Jhalil: She really fucked with the ball, bro. Every morning, every day, she make sure, like, yo, dad, I love you. Like, bothered me all day, all type of shit. So I'm cool with that. That shit make it worth it to me. But it'd be harder if I felt like my family ain't give a fuck about me, bro. I wouldn't do it. I'm quitting. You got it fucked up. Deion: Yeah. Jhalil: I don't care about how nobody feel if I don't feel appreciated in this shit, I gotta do shit for everybody. I fucking quit. Real rap bro like crazy as shit. Deion: I quit. YouTube motherfuckers, man. Jhalil: And then like people gotta understand that like that dog is okay to give all of you and everything you got and all that but if motherfuckers that you doing it for don't give a fuck about you bro if you don't run immediately you trippin. Real shit bro. Everybody got a life so it's like you can't. Everybody life is valued the same around this motherfucker, bro. My shit ain't less valued. I mean, so. That's the lesson too, man. Motherfuckers gotta understand that, dawg. Like, that don't just equal provide or do all the extra shit. No, bro. That's a team effort, dawg. Girl shit. Deion: Amen. I don't know what I'm saying, man. More of a story for the singles, right? Get all of that stuff out of you, you feel me? Like all that old stuff, energy don't die, get transferred, so you gotta get rid of all that shit. The proper way for me, in my opinion, is for motherfuckers to grieve after each relationship so that you can leave out the same way you came in with some growth. but beneficial growth to yourself not that toxic shit you gotta take from the last person or whatever that you deemed did you wrong and all of that. So then when you get into newer relationships you'll be more cleansed to take it on, you feel me? And just because one person did, did you dirty or whatever, you make up for that by fixing you. Jhalil: Mm. Deion: You get what I'm saying? Like, what deemed the person to do that type shit to you? What was lesser in you of your values that you accepted it? You get what I'm saying? So you gotta look back into yourself when it come to that stuff and not point outward. You know what mean? Like, after every relationship, a woman talking about what a man did and how he wasn't this and... Jhalil: Mm-mm. Deion: Like how do you be in something with somebody that you say that about? That's weird to me. You get what I'm saying? Like his dick was little the whole time. Don't wait until afterwards to say that. That don't make sense. And you gonna be looked upon as retarded. You get what I'm saying? And the same thing for men. So don't just think that I'm talking about women. Like I'm talking about men too. Jhalil: Everywhere. Deion: I mean, y'all, we leaving these relationships and we taking on other shit. I want you to be like my last joint. I want you to do this. I want you to give me head like, you get what I'm saying? It's like, no, like you taking away from the new person. Jhalil: You're a shit dog. Deion: I'm putting all those old expectations and all of that on them. So what kind of pressure is that? So all of these things is guaranteeing towards you not to be in something long. You feel me? Like you already setting up for it, not the last. Y'all be going through the motions and shit. You get what I'm saying? Like you about to put more pain in your pain body. Jhalil: Bye. Deion: You know what I'm saying? Like, and y'all let your pain body lead. Y'all like, ⁓ this going too good. Like, I ain't had no pain in a while. Nigga ain't do me dirty in a while. Like, I miss that shit. Like, your pain body be talking out loud like a motherfucker and you don't even know that that's what's leading you. You get what I'm saying? Like, cause you didn't grieve. Jhalil: Good day. Deion: And grieving just about after somebody passing death, grieving is out with the old into something else. You get what I'm saying? And so, you know, when it come to that, once you cleansed all of that, then you can make sound decisions on who you would want to be with and then go directly for that. Jhalil: Yeah, that shit just finds you bro, like it ain't up to us like something like that being like, you know, like Committed and like finding the right person for us and like people will say soulmates and all that bro That's not on the person that should find you bro when you ready Deion: or just continue to work in yourself and then ask the universe or God to send you ⁓ Jhalil: You can't be unready and just think that you about to get that shit because you want it at this time, bro. Life don't happen like that, bro. You can always take that work on yourself first or fall back and focus on something else that you need to focus on and then we need to find you, we gonna find you, But you can't muscle it out of a motherfucker. That don't work, bro. Deion: or And you definitely can't build a nigga like you feel me? So that's what I'm saying like to know that to think that you can get a man that's gonna take care of you and all that and then at the same time you either don't know about economics or you do know about economics and don't care. You know what saying? Because you can't think that every man can do it. It's not made like that. It's not set up for. Jhalil: to. you Deion: every man that be a hundred thousand dollar nigga a year niggas making it on 50 bro 35 on a regular you get what i'm saying like these niggas at mcdonald's working they all is you feel me like this niggas at the pharmacy this niggas ain't fucking weird they ain't making that type of fucking money Jhalil: Ehhhh, Grover. Deion: So the expect men to like be doing all this extravagant shit and y'all like and then vice versa on that level you feel me like ain't no woman out here like you know what I'm crushing it like that to a point where you know what mean like men expecting all women to like have these qualities and all of this different shit and it's like nah that's not realistic bro. Jhalil: you Deion: Like, what the fuck? So you set, we setting ourselves up with these type of thinkings. You thinking is out there, you might pump fake and see it and think that it is not. That's what they call that shit. When you see it in the desert. The shit you see in the desert and you thought like, yeah. You thought that shit was, you know what mean? What they used to say some cool shit back in the day like. Jhalil: Yeah A little mirage. Deion: damn she look good as shit from far but far from looking good. That's because like when you look like damn she got a turkey from a distance you walk out it's like damn you a turkey for real like you get what I'm saying like god damn you feel me like and a fool you like that though you know what I'm saying so you can't fall into the mirages of like thinking that, you know what saying? Cause like I said, it's a handful, bro. And most of them probably married and shit. Jhalil: Yeah, forever. And it don't even matter how many motherfuckers it is, bro, because it's going to be that right person. And it might not even be more than five people that you ever going to be really compatible with. It could be something slim like that. You never know, bro. Just because it's a billion people don't mean that you ever even going to meet 10 % of these people. You feel me? So it's like, come on, dawg. Deion: Good. Yeah. Jhalil: I ain't saying lower your standards too much, but you can't, oh yeah, I want this and I want this, but you ain't even pulling in that same amount of nothing. is, you feel me? It's respectable or it's acceptable if it's like, all right, sis make 80, 85 to 100 a year. It's cool for her to want a man that make 85 to 100 a year. You feel me? But if you making 11,200 a year, you wanna motherfucker that, like, come on, bros, this cool out. You ain't even, you know what mean? That's the same with the bros. Like, bro, how you expect to like score high power, like high generating woman and you ain't got nothing going. Deion: Orn. Yes. Yeah. I mean, it can happen. You feel what I'm saying? It can happen, but it's like, that's nothing. Yeah, that's something to nothing. Jhalil: You know what Ken. Probability, bro. In school, we learn about probabilities, bro. It's not a high probability, bro. Like, real shit. That's like getting a dollar scratch off and then winning a million dollars. You feel me? It's possible, but like, are you going like, ⁓ Deion: And because... Yeah, what's the chances, Jhalil: Bruises dog like Deion: But it's like, because of the conditioning, Women that's like, hired up, they get conversations like, girl, you should fuck with niggas on your level. And her heart, though, she just probably want a regular nigga that don't do exactly what she do. She got that part. That's what I'm saying. Like, when you got that part covered, like as a man, bro, Jhalil: Yaaaay Deion: If a woman move in my house, I got that cover. I pay the rent already. I pay the bills already. I don't need you to bring that same thing. You get what I'm saying? When we was in the crib all together, it's like, you want me to just be in it just to be in it. Meaning like, right? Jhalil: Ehhhh Yaaaayyyy Deion: alright, if we make a family night cool, but on an everyday, everybody doing something different. in the house. You get what I'm saying? Like we can align it to where we robot it like that and everybody program to do it. You know what saying? We could do all that, but it's like, nah, like I don't be, what I'm saying? Cause the kids be in the living room, they want to be on YouTube. We don't watch the same things on YouTube. Jhalil: Mm-hmm. Yeah, we're aware. Deion: But we might pick a time where we do what something altogether does. You know what I'm saying? Jhalil: Right. I think it's true with something collectively, you what Deion: Yeah, but every day to expect that is like And you get I'm talking about like you get upset that it's not happening. That's the fucking problem. That's the problem. Like what? You get what I'm saying? And and it's like, I seen Jermaine and them family doing this like What? I'll be mad as shit if my family came home and told me somebody else doing something Jhalil: Yeah, that's crazy. Deion: and now they want to implement it unless it's like super good like you feel me? If it's super good. Jhalil: Alright. All right, it's something thorough, like something decent or something like, yeah, I seen this game that they played, that shit look all right, you feel me? Let's try this, y'all cool, but I don't compare it like, well, yeah, I see Jeremy and them, they do this, I wanna, nah, bro. Real rep. Mm-hmm. Deion: Yeah, you win. Yeah, not a way of life. Not a way of life, right? Not a way of life. Don't come tell me about somebody else way of life. That's gonna piss me the fuck off, you feel me? You telling me my life the way it is ain't with it, like it's cool enough, you feel me? It was like, bitch, I didn't make me. Jhalil: Yeah Deion: You know what saying? So the shit I done went through in life probably wasn't that I made it up. Like, yeah, I'm gonna go through this. I'm gonna be from North Philly. You know what I'm saying? We gonna live in a house with a hole in the roof where it rain and. Jhalil: And the... Deion: I'ma be born in the projects. You know what I'm saying? Like, go through these trials and tribulations, go to jail for X, Y, and Z. You know what I'm saying? Be tough as shit for no ass reason and all these things. You think I'ma do all that? Like, if I had that choice, you get what I'm saying? Like, business would be like... Jhalil: Good. Noooo Deion: Oh, you ain't got no big dick. It's like, what you think? Every nigga got a big dick. Like, he ain't making. Now, if we all made it, we all had dick jobs. But if a miss say she like a little joint, we probably all want little joints. Now, you get what I'm saying? So it's like, I would never like, that's why I don't understand the BBLs and all that. Cause it's like, bro, you wasn't supposed to have that joint. Jhalil: Yeah Deion: Now in your life, the way it was supposed to be your journey, now you're doing shit where your butt is just in the way, Why did you include that? Now you can't do the thing that God needed you to do. Jhalil: Yeah. you Deion: Cause you done added some book. Like you get what I'm saying? Like I wouldn't have closed my gaps, bro. I probably need to whistle a certain way or something like, you know what I'm saying? Like I wouldn't change if I had a big ass nose. Maybe I needed the smell shit. Like, you know what mean? Like I needed it for some reason. Like God put you together perfectly. You feel what I'm saying? So it's like, bro, to be trying to change all of this stuff. Jhalil: Bye. Alright. Deion: to confine into human shit. It's like, no, we lose and you get me? Jhalil: Hey bro, that shit is insanity. Deion: and the relationships is hurting from it. You know what mean? So whoever you single or in a relationship or a situationship or whatever, like, make it yours. Don't go off of the sad definition of whatever it is. That's the worst thing, bro. When we first dated, we vibing and shit. We don't got no titles, no names. We two strangers getting to know each other, but we vibing. Then you turn into boyfriend, girlfriend. Now I gotta tell you where I'm at. I gotta do all this extra shit. All this shit that wasn't in play before now is in play. Now you got ownership to me. Jhalil: snare. Deion: Now, like, you know what saying? Now you got ownership to me where I can't do what the fuck I want and do no more. And I ain't talking about like going outside the relationship. I'm just talking about reckless shit. Why you on a game? Like that's when I first met you, like we was cool on a game. Now the game a problem? Like you feel I'm saying? Like. Jhalil: you Deion: And it's only because you changed that title and then changed the whole definition of our relationship. Jhalil: Thank Yeah, it don't make no sense, bro. I swear, man, I need to take this, like, this convo and really listen to this, you know, because it's like, man, like, we got each other fucked up, bro. And just be thinking that, like, it's one solo show, bro. Like, you just, you just accidentally be single or something, bro. Like, you got to get out of yourself and get out of all this programming shit and learn something new, bro. Deion: I'm over it. Jhalil: It's always out with the old and with the new, bro. You feel me? But a lot of people done forgot that. It's like, like you said, man, the dating world and all that and relationships is suffering due to the fact that like keeping that old shit relevant. Deion: Hell yeah. But that's just the volume, you know what saying? Hope y'all heard us loud and clear. hear what I'm saying? Like, let this manipulate you, you feel me? Like, yeah, y'all get into like allowing all that visible shit before y'all and all that come and y'all be living that. But when this new shit get introduced to you, like, ⁓ no, no. Okay. Jhalil: Alright, man. you this shit. But I know man. Deion: Until the next time, you see? Shift your volume. Jhalil: This is the volume shift.