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130: Tough Times? Here’s How to Keep Moving Forward · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:22
  Welcome back to the 100 Life episode, solo episode number three. We all love to talk about staying positive. Let's be real. Staying positive when things are going great is easy. The real test comes when life punches you in the face. What was it? Mike Tyson says, everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face. So maybe you're dealing with setbacks in business, struggling in relationships, or just feeling stuck. Boy, do I know the feeling. Even when I'm winning, I'm not.
• 0:50
  The one habit my stepfather ingrained in me is to notice the one bad thing, and I'm working on that. So whatever it is in your life that's got you feeling stuck, I want you to know you're not alone. I've been there. I probably still am. And we've all been there. So the difference between those who rise up and those who stay stuck is
• 1:12
  Six inches between your ears, the mindset, not fake positivity, not ignoring reality, but training your mind to stay strong, stay focused, and keep pushing forward no matter what. Doesn't that sound like harder than life, people? Today, I'm going to give you a powerful shift in perspective and real practical ways to keep your mindset strong,
• 1:37
  Even when life gets hard, before we get into it, I'm going to start with a quick story. I used to say this all the time, fake it till you make it. And then I just backed out of it right there. I still think you should take a little bit of that, fake it till you make it. Because you want to feel how it feels. I used to do that in sales all the time. And then I became one of the best salesmen on there. So fake it till you make it, act the part, and we're going to dig into that.
• 2:05
  So pain is a part of life. This is the reality of challenges. What you do with pain matters. Everyone faces challenges. No one is immune. It's in the faces of challenge, my friends, where the resilience is born, where the toughness is cultivated, where the winning happens. That's the good stuff. The problem is most people believe if I just work harder, I'll reach a point where I have no problems.
• 2:35
  Absolutely a lie. Once I achieve the house, the car, the boat, the friends, the money, I'll be happy. Again, once I achieve X externally, I'll be happy. Another lie. Life doesn't get easier. You get stronger. How you respond to adversity determines your future. Remember,
• 3:01
  adversity is here, it just left, or it's on its way. So the winning people are going to know how to stare adversity in the eye and be unafraid and walk straight through it. So how do we do it? The mindset shift.
• 3:20
  Why is this happening to me, many people ask. Instead, what is this teaching me? What can I learn? I learned this from John Maxwell. Replace why questions with what questions. Let me say that again. Replace why questions with what questions. Why did this happen? Why does this keep happening? Instead of what am I doing to
• 3:50
  produce this result what can i do differently to produce the results i want how we stay mentally strong among these challenges are paramount
• 4:02
  So the number one thing I want you to do is control what you can. This is one of the hardest things. It's in the serenity prayer, people. Accept the things you can control and the things you cannot. So control what you can. Let go of what you cannot. Stress comes from trying to control things you can't. Think of all the things you've been stressed about in the past. Did worrying ever change anything? Break it down into things. Okay, I can't control this.
• 4:32
  The things you can't control are the economy, other people's behavior. You definitely can't control the past. The things you can control, your actions, your words, your mindset, your response, your body, what you do, what you put in, your job, everything about you. Remember, one finger pointing away, there's three more pointing right back at you.
• 5:00
  The strongest people are the ones who focus 100% on what's within their power. Here's an action step for this particular advice. The next time you feel overwhelmed, stop and ask yourself, is this something I can control? If not, let it go and focus on what you can do. Our friend Mel Robbins says, let them, let it.
• 5:27
  You cannot control. Do not meet resistance with resistance. Number two, your inputs control your mindset. Most people feed their mind negatively without even realizing it. I'm very guilty of this. If you're always consuming negative nudes, social media drama, toxic conversation, and
• 5:51
  You're poisoning your own mindset. Let me go back to that. Toxic conversations. We all have that high school friend, that college roommate, that dear person who calls and you aren't going to believe what happened to me. You have to set a timer. I know you want to be there for them, but it wears on you. We all have an energy bucket. And if somebody hits me with a bunch of negativity, it drains that bucket so much faster.
• 6:18
  So you all heard me say this before too, crabs in a bucket. People, as you're growing and your personal growth and personal development grows, people are going to reach out and try to grab you, pull you back down. They're going to talk smack. Those people aren't for you. Surround yourself with people who challenge and inspire you. Zero anchors, all engines. Read books, listen to podcasts that fuel your growth.
• 6:45
  Your mind is a garden. What are you planting? And even better, how are you watering it? So here's another tip. Do a mindset detox. Unfollow three negative social media accounts today. As a matter of fact, here's what I do. Anytime I see someone with a massive victim mentality and it is a woe is me,
• 7:09
  I unfollow them. I'm sorry. I can't have that. And it resets the algorithm. And if you're telling me about your baby mama or your baby daddy, I got no time for it, people. I have to prioritize me. I'm not being mean. I do empathize with your situation. But there's ways out of it. Listen to the Heart of Life podcast.
• 7:30
  Join the Heart and Alive Nation and the coaching program. Pick up one of our books. Most of this stuff is free. Some of it's very nominal. For the price of a cup of coffee, you can help yourself. So your physical state, you guys know, you see me. If you're watching this on YouTube, you see I'm a big boy. Physical state controls your mental state. If you feel like crap physically, it will affect you mentally. The fastest way to change your mindset, move your body.
• 7:59
  How to reset your energy instantly? Exercise daily. I know I say a lot about 10-minute walks. That's the bare bones minimum. I want to see you get up and really move your body and exercise. Because I'm going to tell you, if you look good, you'll feel good, and you'll do good. That's why I work out the way I do. It used to start off, it was for protection. This is my big body armor to protect myself and my savage beings from my stepfather.
• 8:25
  But now this is my mindset. It is my rest and my recharge. So exercise daily, even if it's just a 10-minute walk. But I want to see you getting in the gym, people. Breath work. Slow down. Deep breath. Shift your nervous system out of stress mode. Long breaths in, long breaths out. Sometimes I do long breaths in, two out.
• 8:55
  That allows me to reset myself. And I even say a little thing. I got this from Mel Robbins. You're safe, you're okay, you're loved. You're safe, you're okay, you're loved. Until things relax. Your posture is very important. I want you standing tall, shoulders back. Your body language affects your confidence. So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, stand up, move, breathe, and remember who the heck you are because you are here for a reason and you matter. And I want to see you doing well.
• 9:25
  Gratitude is the ultimate frame. Everybody talks about this, but you cannot be grateful and negative at the same time. Even in the worst moments, there's something to be grateful for, which being alive is one. There are many people that didn't wake up this morning. Be grateful that you're alive. Be grateful that you're having problems because it means you're engaging. Gratitude rewires your brain to focus on what's right instead of what's wrong.
• 9:53
  Daily gratitude practice, every morning or night, write down three things you're grateful for. Right now, I want you to think of one thing you're grateful for and say it out loud. Keep in mind, this is how I start and end every single day. Just three simple and easy things. And I usually don't say the same things over and over because I'm grateful for different things every single day.
• 10:15
  And lately, I've been grateful for the heart because life has been very hard and I have zero reward right now. Marry the process, divorce the outcome, and remember, I'm building something great. We're headed for the top spot on the charts for the Heart of Life podcast. I need your help, but it's not gonna be easy. The person I'm going to become doing it is what I'm after. Not the reward of being number one, it's the journey along the way. That's called living, people.
• 10:45
  So the final takeaway is that positivity is a choice. No one is positive all the time. I know it seems like it with me, but I have a lot of negative days. Let me rephrase that. I don't have negative days. I have negative moments, minutes. And then I have all the habits and rituals and routines to get myself out of it, which I'm sharing with you today. You have the power to shift your mindset at any time. Life won't always be easy.
• 11:14
  but your response is always in your control. Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on what you can do right now. Choose what you feed your mind with, move your body, and practice gratitude daily. Most people, again, will hear this and do nothing, but you're not most people. You are part of the Heart of Life Nation, and I see you, and you matter, and I want you to win more than you want you to win. Let's go!
• 11:41
  The ones who take action will change their lives, will be harder than life, will be happier than life, and will eventually be healthier than life. Again, we have the Harder Than Life coaching crew. We have weekly calls. If you need help with any of this stuff, reach out, message me. Message me strong. Message me coaching. And I will give you the plan, invite you to a call. We will get you happier than life and harder than life.
• 12:11
  Healthier than life. People say you only live once. That's bullshit. We only die once. We live every single day. Why not live it to the fullest?
• 12:24
  We're in the dead of winter and some people can be sad and hopefully this 15 minutes with me brightens your day. Please rate this, please share it with anyone you think that could need this. I want you to be happy like I am. And peace, clarity and freedom is what I'm after. The freedom in my mind right now is addictive. And I wish I could give it, I wish I could bottle it and give it to each and every one of them.
• 12:52
  Follow these routines. Follow these habits. Just adopt one today, and it will make your life just a little bit better. Reach out to me for more and enjoy your life. Meanwhile, be kind. Do your best to be happy. I love you. Be heart of their life.
• 13:11
  Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Segal supporters. Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.