Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #418 Christmas Planning

Transcript

#418 Christmas Planning · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, I'm trying to think of how I'm going to
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: create space to find joy.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: You're not going to leave the bedroom.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: May and now here's the stars of our show, my
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: mum and dad.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: Can you give me your very best Santa Claus. I'd
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: love to hear a ho ho ho. I know that
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: depending on which Christmas movie you watch, they say that
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: Santa doesn't say ho ho ho, But can you can?
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: I just hear a ho ho ho from you?
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Ho ho ho.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: That was the most un Christmas y ho ho that
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: I've ever heard.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Ho ho ho.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Wow. I didn't know you had that in you. Missus.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: Happy Families. We're going to call you Santa, put a
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: white beard on you and maybe the spirit of Christmas.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I think I'm one of his best helpers.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you are too, at least in now
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: ask Today. This is doctor Justin Colson, the founder of
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Happy Families dot com, dot you, and the parenting expert
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: on Channel nine's Parental Guidance Here with Kylie, my wife,
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: mum to our six Kids, and podcast co host Extra There.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: It's Christmas, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: in the Southern Hemisphere. That means it's getting hot and
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: the kids are well, at least in Queensland, the kids
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: are on school holidays and life is getting challenging. And
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: this year, Kylie, we've kind of not lived up to
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: what we typically do in the lead up to Christmas.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I don't remember a Christmas where I have been so unprepared.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, I think that's a good word for it.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: We're not ready.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: We are not We've obviously acknowledged the tree has only
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: just gone up.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Have you done any Christmas shopping yet?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: I have started, but normally I'm a shop through the year,
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: so that by the time Christmas comes, I just can't
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: wait to unburden all those draws and cupboards.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: The kids have found the Christmas gift draws and cupboards too,
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: by the way. They know where to look for their
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Christmas gifts and I.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Really just have to do, Oh, I've got to get
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: one more thing over here, or you know, just a
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: bit of a top up shop for the stockings. Usually,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: but this year it's been a different year, and I
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: had a different couple of years to be honest.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I reckon. COVID's got to have something to do
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: with it. But I haven't been helpful either because in
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: the run up to Christmas, because I'm going to take
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: a couple of weeks off so that i can have
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: the happy family time, what happens. And I'm sure is
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: anyone who works, not even for themselves, just anyone who
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: works knows if you want to take time off, the
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: work that should have been done while you were at
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: work still has to be done even though you're not there,
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: which means that you've got to try to get I
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: don't know, five weeks worth of work done in the
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: two weeks leading up to the three weeks off. Like
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: it's just and it's compounding, and it's momentous, and it's
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: just weighing me down. I feel like I've got twelve
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: hour days in front of me until the end of
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: the week. Not that I'm here to complain at all,
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: because I'm looking forward to break. But we thought we
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: would ask what are you doing to prep for Christmas?
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: What planning goes into your Christmas and how's it all
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: going for you. The first person that we asked was
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: one of our Happy Families, Premium members Lisa, who said
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: this is what she does for Christmas prep and planning.
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: I work in retail. I feel like I get the
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: full brunt of it all on how hectic Christmas can be,
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: so being organized at this time of year is really
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: important for me. So just making sure that I kind
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: of just spend a whole day, to be honest, buying
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: all the Christmas gifts, planning the day, organizing food for
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: the day. If I can do that before even December hits,
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: for me personally, that is less stressfully, if I can
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: into December and just go with the flow and not
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: have to worry about buying gifts and doing all of that,
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: and that it's already done.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Winner It's interesting with all of the lockdowns that we've
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: had and then the restrictions around you know, how many
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: people can be in a shop and having to wear
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: masks and all of those kinds of things. I just
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: haven't been at the shops like I normally.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Would, even the signing like I've been. I've been literally
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: avoiding the shops for a year. I mean, I hate
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: shops anyway, but I've been avoiding the shops for a
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: year because I just don't have to check in and I
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: don't have to be around people. We are so not
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: prepped and listening to Lisa, it's putting us to shame
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: a little bit. But everyone who's working in retail right
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: now will be going, oh, yes, it's just chaos right now.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Right But the acknowledgment of being organized and prepping beforehand
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: and not waiting until December because every person is out
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: at the shops at the moment, just trying to find
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: a car park is stressful. I was talking to a
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: friend the other day. She said it was forty five
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: minutes driving around the shopping center just to find.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: A car park. Oh my goodness. And so if.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Nothing else, by being prepared before December, you save yourself
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: the hassle of finding a car park.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: And Lisa actually sounded pretty pretty relaxed, and Jess does too,
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: because Jess has got her Christmas prep dialed in.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: Christmas is a stressful time of year and day of
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: the year for me personally. I'm an engineer, so I'm
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: working with checklists and planners wherever I can to keep
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: on top of everything. And I think one thing I
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: will try and do this year is have a break
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: in the middle of the day, go for a walk.
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: We'll just have some quiet time in a smaller group
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: or one on one with my kids to focus on
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: what's important and not get caught up in the chaos.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: So I'm kind of inspired by Jess's idea. I think
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: that when we finished recording this podcast, we should actually
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: sit down and put together a couple of checklists. I
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: talked about it in my Light and the Load for
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: a Happy Family's premium members this week. If we've got
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: a checklist for here's the day, here are the days
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: where we're not going to do anything, here are the
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: days where we are going to do things, and this
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: is what we'll do and I don't know even knowing
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: what meals we're going to have, just just getting it
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: planned so that when we get to the shops, we're
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: not directionless, aiming at nothing as we walk coming down
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: the aisles, thinking should I buy the prawns or should
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: I buy the chocolate chip cookies? That's Christmas? Why not
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: buy both? Checklists? You're looking at me angry, like, no,
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: I don't want another list? Do you do not like
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Chess's idea?
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: No? I was just thinking about how Jess she must
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: have been in your webinar the other night when you
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: talked about creating space for.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: Joy, Yeah, go for the walk, quiet time.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I just that's where I am right now. I'm not
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: worried about any checklists. I'm trying to think of how
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I'm going to create space to find joy.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: You're not going to leave the bedroom. May maybe Christmas
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: conditionings are Christmas is my responsibility this year. I've just
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: got that feeling. It's been a year, it's been a
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: real year, and lately it's been pretty full on for
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: missus happy families. Fair call, fair call. Okay, let's have
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: a quick chat with Larissa and find out her Christmas
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: prep and planning strategy.
• 6:27
  Speaker 6: In our family, my husband and I will talk about
• 6:29
  Speaker 6: what gifts we want to give, and then I'm the
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: one who does the shopping. So this year, to hopefully
• 6:34
  Speaker 6: make December and the day much less stressful, I started
• 6:37
  Speaker 6: my Christmas shopping in October, which is earlier than I've
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: ever done, but it's definitely paid off. And if I'm
• 6:43
  Speaker 6: feeling calm, then my children are more likely to be calm.
• 6:47
  Speaker 6: So that's the biggest thing we've done, is just start early.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I love Laris's little tip about sharing the cognitive load
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: when it comes to gift to giving, Honey, do you
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: hear they talk about it together? Isn't that an interesting concept?
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: I always find it so exciting to find out what
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: everyone's getting for Christmas when they open the gifts.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: I've got no idea, just a boy, I'm giving you
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: a hard time. But we actually do talk about some of.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: It, not all of it. Oh you're health You know what, Kylie.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: We are a team. You make the money, I spend it.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: That's how it works, isn't it. It feels like it
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: something that stood out to me. In fact, there's a
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: recurring theme from all of our listeners so far, and
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: the recurring theme is prep early, which means we should
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: go and do something about all of this today. Oh really,
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: when I say we, I'm really looking at you. You
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: can sell, couldn't you? But you know the other thing
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: I can. There's just this desire for calm. That's the
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: other theme that's really emerging out of this this conversation.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: So help find the car park and I'll go to
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: the shops. That's fine, you know what.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: That sounds good to me. I'll sit in the car
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: and listen to a podcast as so long as I'm
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: undercover so that I don't have to deal with the heat. Hey,
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: in just a secon we're going to find out a
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: couple of other great tips for being prepped for Christmas
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: and getting that planning sorted the right way.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast.
• 8:14
  Speaker 7: Our Screens Creating Tension at Home, Tweens, Teens and Screens
• 8:18
  Speaker 7: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe superscreen solutions.
• 8:23
  Speaker 7: Bye today at happy families dot com dot au slash shop.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now, and today we
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: are stealing answers from everyone else because we are having
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: a really hard time at being prepped this year.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: I felt like we were going to absolutely nail this
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: podcast episode, and then I realized, this year we've got
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: no We've got no what's the word.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: There's no structure, there's no planning, there's no prep. We
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: haven't done a thing.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: Miriam told us this is how she preps and plans
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: for Christmas.
• 8:57
  Speaker 8: Christmas Day is actually pretty low for us. We don't
• 9:01
  Speaker 8: do big presents, we don't do Santa. The kids always
• 9:05
  Speaker 8: find a sack of presents on the end of their
• 9:07
  Speaker 8: bed and bring them to our bed and we all
• 9:08
  Speaker 8: open our gifts together, and it's so magical watching the
• 9:11
  Speaker 8: excitement and joy. But there's not a huge amount of
• 9:14
  Speaker 8: pressure on anyone to do anything. We always have lunch
• 9:18
  Speaker 8: with family, and again there's hardly any pressure to make
• 9:21
  Speaker 8: particular dishes or fancy food. We just bring whatever we
• 9:24
  Speaker 8: feel like bringing.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: It's all very relaxed.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: What I love about Memes is just family is the
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: focus and there's an absolute just letting go of any
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: agenda and the need to do, or be or bring
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: any one thing.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: I'm taking a leaf out of Memes book for this Christmas.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: We're going to call it the low Key Christmas. This
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: year low key, low key, lou key, the low key
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Christmas because I don't want to have to think about it,
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: and I know that you're not that keen on it either.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: But they're still having excitement and joy.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: I know. And what I've noticed as our you wouldn't
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: have gotten older and we come together for special occasions,
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: is they just crave time together. The presents actually are
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: starting to fade into the background. They don't actually have
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: the same impact that they did when they were younger
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: and I love that. I love that for them. The
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: biggest focus is that time together.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but you don't know what I've got you for you.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: I was going to say for your birthday. You don't
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: know what I've got you for Christmas presents this year,
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: You're going to be so stoked. Really, I cannot tell
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: you how excited you're going to be.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: The kids allowed to know what it is.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is good.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: What I thought it was?
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Then, what did you think it was? I don't know
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: if I should fight it. Let's change the subject. Rachel
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: told us how she preps and plans for Christmas.
• 10:42
  Speaker 9: For the actual Christmas Day, we will cautiously book in
• 10:46
  Speaker 9: a day with my extended family to have a Christmas gathering,
• 10:49
  Speaker 9: So we each commit to bringing a variety of meats, salads,
• 10:52
  Speaker 9: and desserts, but the date will be decided about a
• 10:54
  Speaker 9: week out so that we can have a day where
• 10:57
  Speaker 9: the weather is enjoyable. The planning takes the stress out
• 11:00
  Speaker 9: of trying to do it all, and it always ends
• 11:02
  Speaker 9: up being a great day of eating from lunch until dinner,
• 11:04
  Speaker 9: with great flavors and lots of fun treat food.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: Yeh see you've got You've got to do a bit
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: of planning, right, There's got to be some planning otherwise
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: nothing happens. And I'm just letting you know now, missus
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: happy families that you're cooking. I'll cook, but I want
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: lots of food this Christmas. It's been years because I'm
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: always watching that I don't overeat at Christmas and I
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: end up having three regular kind of meals. This year,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: you want to overeat this year. I want to roll
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: out of the living room once I'm finished eating. I
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: don't want to be able to move out of the
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: living room and I eat that much. I'm just I'm
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: just saying, we need to plan so that we can
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: get the food ready because this is going to be
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: the year I'm so excited for some overindulgence.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I love Rachel's of course planning it over that Helle
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: you want, well that's it.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: When she started, I was like.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's that bad, is it? But what I love
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: is the flexibility. There's just an acknowledgment that in order
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: for this to work, we've kind of we've got to
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: make sure we get the day in the weather right.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: And I think I think that you could utilize that
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: tip in just about any situation.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: So when I think about all of the prep and
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: planning that we've heard about, here are the main themes.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: Stay calm, do it early, and if you haven't done
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: it early, do it now, because now as early as
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: it's going to get the long year weight, the harder
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: it's going to be.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: How many sleeps we're like ten sleeps away from Christmas?
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah or not. It depends on how you count it
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: and whether it's you canning or the kids like it's,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, it's just around the corner. Now, be
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: flexible and stay calm. Maybe. But I'm also I'm going
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: to put it out there that some people don't want
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: to low key Christmas. I know that that's kind of
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: what we're advocating this year because that's where we're at,
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: that's what our mindset is. But every now and again,
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: it's really really exciting to have a high pressure, high
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: octane everybody in the house going bananas Christmas. Like sometimes
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: it's Delegate, Delegate, Delegate, that's right, plan plan, plan, get
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: in early. We hope that this has been a helpful conversation, Kylie.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: Is there anything that you want to add in terms
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: of getting ready for Christmas and getting that planning and
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: prep all sorted for me this year.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: It's literally just tapping into what's most important and right
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: now it's just you and me and our little family,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: and that's what Christmas is about this year. And secondly,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: make sure you start shopping for Christmas next year.
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: On Boxing Day. Boxing Day. The Happy Famili's podcast is
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: produced by Justin Rulin from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: our executive producer. You can shop right now at Happy
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: families dot com dot you and grab some terrific Christmas
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: treats to make your family happier. Twenty one Days to
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: a Happier Family is available right now in store. Nine
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: Ways to a Resilient Child, Ten things every parent needs
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: to know and miss Connection, along with relationship rules, all
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: of the books that I've written in the Happy Family store,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: as well as a Happy Families membership. You might like
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: to try a premium membership to make your family happy,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: because a happy family doesn't just happen. All the details
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: at happy families dot com.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Do you