Latest / Where We Rise / 07 | "My Own Worst Enemy" | Self-Doubt to Self-Worth

Transcript

07 | "My Own Worst Enemy" | Self-Doubt to Self-Worth · Where We Rise

• 0:00
  Khalila McCoy: Hey, I'm Khalila McCoy, and you're listening to the show that makes rising feel possible.
• 0:06
  Khalila McCoy: This is where we ride.
• 0:09
  Khalila McCoy: Hey there, welcome to the show.
• 0:14
  Khalila McCoy: Thank you for joining me.
• 0:15
  Khalila McCoy: Before we get into our conversation, I want to shout out Gallion0164 from Apple Podcasts, who left a review that reads, This podcast warms my soul.
• 0:27
  Khalila McCoy: The host is genuine and the topics are relevant to everyone.
• 0:31
  Khalila McCoy: I recommend this to everyone.
• 0:33
  Khalila McCoy: I want to hang out with Khalila and DJ.
• 0:36
  Khalila McCoy: Thank you so much for those kind words, Gallion, and for spreading the word about the show.
• 0:42
  Khalila McCoy: DJ and I have a great time together, so I'm glad that came through in our episode.
• 0:47
  Khalila McCoy: I'm also already thinking about another episode that we can do together pretty soon.
• 0:51
  Khalila McCoy: Galleon, you mentioned that the topics have been relevant to everyone.
• 0:56
  Khalila McCoy: So I think you're really going to enjoy hearing from Greg Arnold today.
• 1:00
  Khalila McCoy: This episode was fun for me, and I was also a little nervous because this was the first time I recorded with someone who I didn't know at all.
• 1:09
  Khalila McCoy: Greg reached out and shared that he wants to step into keynote speaking and to spread a message of self-worth over self-doubt, something that he's had to work on in his own life.
• 1:20
  Khalila McCoy: So I was excited to see where he would take the conversation and what he wanted to share.
• 1:25
  Khalila McCoy: I came ready to listen and to learn.
• 1:28
  Khalila McCoy: So let's check it out.
• 1:30
  Khalila McCoy: How are you today, Greg?
• 1:34
  Greg Arnold: Oh, just swell.
• 1:35
  Greg Arnold: Uh thank you for having me.
• 1:36
  Greg Arnold: Uh how are you doing?
• 1:37
  Khalila McCoy: I'm good.
• 1:38
  Khalila McCoy: I'm really excited for you to be on the show today.
• 1:41
  Khalila McCoy: And I we talked about this, I don't know you.
• 1:45
  Khalila McCoy: This is our first time meeting.
• 1:46
  Khalila McCoy: So just tell us a little bit about yourself.
• 1:50
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, well, uh, so right now I am somebody that is trying to essentially make it as a full-time speaker, mindset, motivational speaker.
• 2:01
  Greg Arnold: But um but who I am um is I am a pro arm wrestler and I've also done voice acting on the side.
• 2:11
  Greg Arnold: Um, but right now I have a I kind of have a normal like nine to five day job uh that's just kind of like helping keep the roof over uh over our heads.
• 2:20
  Greg Arnold: But yeah, right now I'm just I'm trying to scale to where I become my uh my own boss and and just have all that that freedom and financial freedom and just be able to spend all the time that I want with uh with my family.
• 2:36
  Khalila McCoy: Yeah, that's great.
• 2:37
  Khalila McCoy: So for the listeners, before we push record, you and I were talking about jobs and you were talking about your voiceover job.
• 2:45
  Khalila McCoy: You did not say that you were a professional arm wrestler.
• 2:48
  Khalila McCoy: So that is so cool.
• 2:51
  Khalila McCoy: I feel like I'm already thinking, like, oh, will he come back and we can just talk about his awesome job?
• 2:56
  Khalila McCoy: So I don't want to derail us from what we're talking about, but definitely putting the pen in professional arm wrestler because I did not know that was a thing, and that's so cool to meet somebody who does that.
• 3:07
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, yeah, no, it's uh it's I mean, it's definitely a unique formula.
• 3:10
  Greg Arnold: I'm I'm really uh really blessed that I got to that that I've been able to be part of these uh you know, these facets of my life, and each of those things that I'm part of, whether it's voiceover or arm wrestling, it's definitely shaped me to being the um, you know, the the thinker, the I guess you call them solopreneur, just or the aspiring solopreneur and just uh the the the kind of kind of the man that I am today.
• 3:37
  Greg Arnold: And you know, I'm I'm just really excited to uh you know kind of explain like what all transpired and how I got here.
• 3:45
  Khalila McCoy: Yeah, let's jump into it.
• 3:46
  Khalila McCoy: So tell us about who you were before the journey.
• 3:52
  Greg Arnold: So beforehand, uh you know, uh kind of looking back to when I was a kid, uh I was somebody that you know looked functional, looked normal, like on like just normal okay kid on the outside, but I was constantly at war with myself uh from an internal standpoint, uh because I kind of taught myself early on to stay under the radar and uh, you know, n uh not take too much space out of the fear of making mistakes in front of people, whether it's my teachers or peers or even my parents at times.
• 4:32
  Greg Arnold: Because when I was I was a cesarean when I was born, and they they actually dropped me back in uh you know, my mother, and uh p I had uh I had a lot of fluid going into my ear and in my lungs because of pneumonia.
• 4:48
  Greg Arnold: Long story short, uh the fluid that was in my ear ears, they didn't discover that I wasn't able to hear for for most of it until I was about two or so.
• 5:00
  Greg Arnold: Suffice to say, that rendered me with kind of an auditory processing disorder.
• 5:06
  Greg Arnold: And because of that, I did not have the communication, the language skills as I was growing up, so it made me fall behind within my peers.
• 5:19
  Greg Arnold: I was able to kind of compensate and be like a great speller, I was pretty good with numbers, and but um school was always such a challenge that it took me a lot longer to grasp the material like slower than than mo than most of the class.
• 5:34
  Greg Arnold: And you know, I would get a case, I would get ridiculed um by either by either my peers or even my teacher, thinking like, oh, you're just not paying attention, you're just not paying attention.
• 5:44
  Greg Arnold: Like I was I was kind of looked at as not really the bad kid, but just somebody that you know really needs extra help, uh, you know, maybe need to be held back.
• 5:53
  Greg Arnold: So it it it really flared up my inferiority complex, and I thought, okay, in order for me to remain safe, I gotta remain quiet.
• 6:02
  Greg Arnold: So that way it's kind of a you know, be thought of as a fool, then to remove all doubt once you speak up.
• 6:07
  Greg Arnold: That's that that that's that's been my personality throughout my school, my or my school career, uh college, uh, and and even and even work, you know, when I was, you know, like even 15 years ago.
• 6:20
  Greg Arnold: But anyway, what kind of transpired me to realize that I needed to change, because it really did get bad to the point where I I isolated myself, and because of my auditory processing issue, I wasn't able to communicate very well with the other the other kids.
• 6:36
  Greg Arnold: So it wasn't it was very daunting to try and make friends.
• 6:40
  Greg Arnold: So I would isolate myself a lot.
• 6:44
  Greg Arnold: Uh, but I learned how to communicate really good when I was able to convince my father and my mother, you know, even despite uh her leaving uh my dad and myself when they got divorced.
• 6:55
  Greg Arnold: But I uh I finished high school online uh my last two years of high school.
• 7:03
  Greg Arnold: And from there I was able to do a lot of typing, a lot of communicating.
• 7:07
  Greg Arnold: It it it kind of increased my confidence a little bit, not only because I was safe, but also it kind of forced me to develop more technological social skills.
• 7:17
  Greg Arnold: So like even though even though it's not like ideal, but it's at least something, from there, you you know, I was able to it kind of increase my self-esteem just a little bit, but I still had quite a bit of work to do, you know, that I st I still felt so isolated that I, you know, faced depression and even uh even suicidal ideation.
• 7:38
  Khalila McCoy: Uh can we go back a little bit to like your childhood when you're going through that?
• 7:43
  Khalila McCoy: Were there were you getting support from the R.
• 7:46
  Greg Arnold: Yes.
• 7:46
  Greg Arnold: Uh so I did um I did go to a couple of speech therapists.
• 7:50
  Greg Arnold: Yeah.
• 7:50
  Greg Arnold: That that was that was kind of what they had at their disposal.
• 7:53
  Greg Arnold: I mean they they did they did diagnose me with that and but yeah, they just thought, okay, well, maybe you just uh maybe just need more more time with speech therapy.
• 8:03
  Greg Arnold: And I think I think it helped me, like in retrospect, I think it did help me a little bit to do, I guess, the barest essentials when it comes to school.
• 8:13
  Greg Arnold: And I and now that uh now that we're talking about it, I kind of remember what uh what my teachers did.
• 8:19
  Greg Arnold: But my my mom and and my dad had kind of an arrangement with my teachers, especially fourth through sixth grade, that you remember like when we had these agenda planners, like back when we were in school.
• 8:33
  Greg Arnold: Yeah.
• 8:34
  Greg Arnold: I would have to write them down, and the teacher would have to initialize it.
• 8:41
  Greg Arnold: You know, this is like back before we had all that tech uh technology to where parents can check it.
• 8:46
  Greg Arnold: The teacher, my teacher had to initialize it to make sure that I didn't miss anything so that it wasn't my parents.
• 8:52
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, so that that I actually did hear every command.
• 8:57
  Greg Arnold: So so i that was the extent of support, and it was and I they they did their best for what was available back in the in the 90s.
• 9:09
  Khalila McCoy: So you said that you had some peers that were rude to you and kind of bullying you along the way.
• 9:15
  Khalila McCoy: Is that kind of where you felt like most of your criticism came from?
• 9:22
  Greg Arnold: Um a lot of it came from not not necessarily the the disorder itself, but more so of me isolating myself and not being able to make friends, and because that I was a lone wolf, for lack of better term, I was more of a target.
• 9:41
  Greg Arnold: Like that they thought that, okay, well, if I'm not part of a clique, see my school district, it was pretty clicky, and if you weren't part of something, some kind of a I don't know what you call it, faction like faction or uh or or an athletic uh on a team, uh then you were kind of looked at as, you know, okay, well what's this guy's deal?
• 10:04
  Greg Arnold: You know, he's very weird.
• 10:05
  Greg Arnold: Oh, I wonder, uh I wonder how he'll react if we kind of harass him or push his buttons.
• 10:11
  Greg Arnold: But because yeah, now maybe s maybe some uh some kids probably wanted to wanted to befriend me, and I'm I'm sure like a few did, but because I never got the uh I was always pretty socially inept.
• 10:26
  Greg Arnold: I was never able to differentiate between a friend and a, you know, someone who has trouble.
• 10:33
  Greg Arnold: So I always was on the defense.
• 10:36
  Greg Arnold: Right.
• 10:36
  Greg Arnold: So I I I never really made too much of an effort, even though that yes, I did get ridiculed, especially in middle school.
• 10:45
  Greg Arnold: Uh, you know, because middle school was worse than high school.
• 10:51
  Khalila McCoy: But yeah.
• 10:51
  Khalila McCoy: It's an interesting time.
• 10:53
  Khalila McCoy: Like I feel like none of the kids really know who they are yet or what they, you know, are doing with themselves, and they just decide to pick on each other.
• 11:02
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, and it's just I never really knew how to emotionally process.
• 11:07
  Greg Arnold: I mean, uh and yeah, I guess what what teenager does.
• 11:10
  Greg Arnold: But uh but but I just really felt that I was never understood.
• 11:17
  Greg Arnold: I I was never I was never confident that I was gonna be heard by the right people.
• 11:24
  Greg Arnold: And and it it was kind of like the narrative back in back in the late 90s, early 2000s that okay, if you if you saw a psychologist or whatever, then that means something is more wrong with you than than what you're already.
• 11:37
  Khalila McCoy: Yeah, it's very different than today.
• 11:39
  Greg Arnold: Yes.
• 11:39
  Greg Arnold: Like there was this stigma right away.
• 11:42
  Greg Arnold: So uh suffice it to say, I I internalized everything.
• 11:47
  Greg Arnold: And and something that I learned or that I learned and that I'm wanting to like relay in my mindset speech speaking, but if you are internalizing everything, if you keep if you keep everything in silent, you know, you're you're gonna have intruders like in your head, like intrusive thoughts, you know, think, oh my, I'm so s you know, I'm so dumb, you know, why, you know, why?
• 12:08
  Greg Arnold: But uh you know, but it's like if you don't it if you don't speak them out loud, then they're gonna basically stay in they're gonna stay in your brain and kind of have a cup of tea, not only knock on the door, but like come in and you know make it make themselves at home just kind of squat in your brain.
• 12:26
  Greg Arnold: Uh but uh but what I learned is if I'm speaking, if I'm verbalizing something, it doesn't it doesn't necessarily stay in your head.
• 12:35
  Greg Arnold: It's just kind of like uh like interfering for it uh for lack of a better term.
• 12:40
  Greg Arnold: It's like that's something that's always or that's been able to help me in uh in recent times.
• 12:45
  Greg Arnold: So that's what I mean by internalizing uh everything and just kind of having a conversation with uh with yourself, uh even and uh just kind of processing.
• 12:55
  Greg Arnold: But uh yeah, I think I I think we kind of got uh I kind of got a little off the topic there.
• 12:59
  Greg Arnold: But no, you're uh you're great.
• 13:02
  Khalila McCoy: So tell us how that transferred.
• 13:03
  Khalila McCoy: So childhood, middle school, kind of like a loner, not really feeling understood, not feeling seen.
• 13:11
  Khalila McCoy: And you said even with your parents at home, they didn't really know how to support you.
• 13:16
  Greg Arnold: Right.
• 13:16
  Greg Arnold: Uh so my childhood life is uh my father was uh he was the breadwinner, but not only was he the breadwinner, but he had to travel every single week.
• 13:27
  Greg Arnold: Uh he owned a healthcare consulting firm, so he would be gone from Sunday and come back or you know, Sunday through Thursday.
• 13:34
  Greg Arnold: Uh because, you know, he he kind of had no choice because my mother really was not responsible financially.
• 13:42
  Greg Arnold: So she would she would spend very I don't want to say recklessly, but I guess yeah, I guess reckless is as good a word as any.
• 13:51
  Greg Arnold: And so it kind of forced my dad to overcompensate for it.
• 13:56
  Greg Arnold: And so I spent most of my time with my mother until I was like the age of 14, like from the time I was five or six to about fourteen, and I would s and I would see my dad a few days a week, and uh uh unless unless he wasn't like on a project where he was able to still like work from home.
• 14:14
  Greg Arnold: But a lot of times if you had to make money quickly, like he would offer to take on a project, and what they would do is what his company would do is they would go to certain like hospitals that are maybe in the process of installing a new computer system, and he kind of project manages when the new software kind of go uh goes live in like whether it's the radiology department, uh ER pharmacy, and he consults them on like hey, what here here's the best software for it, here's the best protocol for this, uh let me know what issues there are.
• 14:49
  Greg Arnold: So uh but anyway, that's what he would have to do.
• 14:54
  Greg Arnold: Um and I didn't I I wasn't raised by my father much until uh until like they divorced because I stayed with my dad um when when they divorced when I was uh going on fifteen.
• 15:09
  Greg Arnold: And so but he still had to work.
• 15:14
  Greg Arnold: So from the time I was almost sixteen till about eighteen, I had the house to myself throughout the week while I while I was doing my uh my schoolwork.
• 15:26
  Greg Arnold: But I but I loved it because I didn't have to worry about the the hive mind of school.
• 15:32
  Greg Arnold: Uh you know, the the the peers, I could just concentrate because I still had the identity that I wanted to be something in uh in life, like when uh when I grew up.
• 15:41
  Greg Arnold: I didn't know what, but I I knew that I wanted to at least graduate high school, go to college, and get a degree from there.
• 15:48
  Greg Arnold: And I knew that I wasn't academically doing good in public school, so it took a lot of convincing of my father to uh you know that for me to allow me to try the the program and that was the only time I ever got straight A's.
• 16:02
  Greg Arnold: Uh what was the program?
• 16:04
  Greg Arnold: It was called ECOT.
• 16:06
  Greg Arnold: It doesn't exist anymore.
• 16:08
  Greg Arnold: It's called uh Electronic Classroom of Tomorrow, uh originated in uh Columbus.
• 16:12
  Greg Arnold: But uh they they actually uh this was like back in 2007, 2008 that I uh that I attended.
• 16:19
  Greg Arnold: But uh but yeah, just like two years ago, I think, is is when when it shut down.
• 16:25
  Khalila McCoy: But uh was it like a homeschool type of situation or you actually went there?
• 16:29
  Greg Arnold: Uh this was homeschool.
• 16:31
  Greg Arnold: Like I I I was at home, but but online there were teachers that some of them would have live lectures.
• 16:38
  Greg Arnold: Uh mo most of my teachers they did not.
• 16:41
  Greg Arnold: They would just have like modules of lessons, and then you would like watch like videos and read through material, then you'd get quizzed on that material, uh, you would have to write some papers, uh do something that's you that's kind of like productive like outside.
• 16:58
  Greg Arnold: Uh like it it was a lot more than that.
• 17:00
  Khalila McCoy: So different types of learning, learning at your own pace.
• 17:03
  Khalila McCoy: Yeah.
• 17:04
  Khalila McCoy: It sounds like it was perfect for you.
• 17:06
  Khalila McCoy: Then you said you got straight A's.
• 17:07
  Khalila McCoy: Yes.
• 17:08
  Khalila McCoy: And then I'm sure like feeling that you're a loner, then you're like, oh well, this is perfect because I could just be by myself and focus on what I want to focus on.
• 17:17
  Greg Arnold: Exactly.
• 17:18
  Greg Arnold: And uh but it was also good for me from a growth, from a kind of a growth standpoint because my dad had to travel and I had the house to myself, he said that, okay, you need you know, laundry needs to be done, make sure these dishes are done.
• 17:34
  Greg Arnold: Of course, you know, the pet the pets are taken care of, you know, fine, uh clean the pool like during during the summer.
• 17:40
  Greg Arnold: He taught me a lot of responsibilities of a typical adult when I was like, you know, 15 and 16, and that was definitely uh it it gave me some perspective on an appreciation for what uh what my father and even my mother had had done for me, you know, before I was before I was a teen.
• 17:58
  Greg Arnold: So it it gave me a sense of structure and responsibility, which was definitely something that that I needed.
• 18:05
  Greg Arnold: But um but yeah, even during all that, I still only appraised my worth based off of whether I was uh whether I was in a relationship, because then we started getting into the age of my space and the very beginning of Facebook.
• 18:23
  Greg Arnold: Everyone's just you know, every one of my peers are just you know gloating about their their boyfriend, girlfriend, and uh and so it just it it also kind of gave me the oh man, I need to be in a I I need to find somebody, but I don't know how.
• 18:39
  Greg Arnold: So it it it made me do a lot of uh online dating and shh yeah.
• 18:46
  Greg Arnold: But but but so you know that was definitely online dating back then.
• 18:51
  Khalila McCoy: That sounds like it could be kind of sketchy.
• 18:53
  Khalila McCoy: Uh I mean it's sketchy.
• 18:55
  Khalila McCoy: I mean it is still definitely now.
• 18:58
  Khalila McCoy: But I mean like I think of AOL Instant Messenger and things like that.
• 19:03
  Greg Arnold: Yahoo! Personals, like that wasn't happening back then.
• 19:06
  Greg Arnold: But uh but oh man, that that that definitely is uh So how did that go for you?
• 19:14
  Greg Arnold: Were you did you date?
• 19:16
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:16
  Greg Arnold: So I I I did I did have uh a couple of relationships, like long distance relationships and and and met them and you know, they were great, but but it's pretty hard like in a distance and not being able to it's really hard to regulate your emotions, you know, when you are not actually physically with that person like at any given time.
• 19:38
  Greg Arnold: So suffice to this is still when you're a teenager, right?
• 19:42
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, I was still seventeen.
• 19:44
  Khalila McCoy: So you're still trying to figure out what a relationship is.
• 19:47
  Greg Arnold: I did not have the emotional maturity to uh maintain a relationship, uh a serious one.
• 19:54
  Greg Arnold: Um and then but anyway while I was trying to like navigate through that and my own emotions, uh December 20th of 2008 is when uh my mother passed.
• 20:07
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, it's it was pretty unexpected.
• 20:11
  Greg Arnold: So and I spent I spent a little bit of time blaming myself, not not necessarily that uh of her death, but because that I wasn't around, because I still had a little bit of um maybe not anger, but more more hurt because she's the one that left my dad and myself to go be with someone else.
• 20:34
  Greg Arnold: Um and it just kind of made me feel like that she abandoned me because she never asked me to go with her.
• 20:42
  Greg Arnold: Um so but I mean I in retrospect now looking back, I mean, I know why, but you know, it's it's still her at that moment, yeah.
• 20:52
  Greg Arnold: Defin definitely, and now uh because she and I weren't quite getting along like before she left, before she divorced uh my father, I would have chosen.
• 21:04
  Greg Arnold: I I was kind of old enough at that point, you know, going on fifteen to decide who who I want to stay with.
• 21:09
  Greg Arnold: And I stayed with my dad, and that was definitely the better decision for sure.
• 21:13
  Greg Arnold: You know, like for for my personal growth.
• 21:16
  Greg Arnold: But uh but going back to uh you know 2008, um that I definitely spent uh a lot of time trying to uh trying to fulfill like a real huge void that I was still uh trying to fill.
• 21:30
  Greg Arnold: And and I didn't really I didn't really uh look into myself as to why I felt that I needed I I I just kept finding external factors to kind of superficially fill you know whatever whatever void is is within me.
• 21:46
  Greg Arnold: And I never looked into myself.
• 21:49
  Greg Arnold: I think I think in a way I was I was afraid I was always gonna be or I I had a fear of always being alone if I if I didn't find somebody.
• 21:58
  Greg Arnold: So I I found one person uh a person in during the online dating, but we did end up living together for for a little bit.
• 22:06
  Greg Arnold: Um it was it was like like my first very serious relationship.
• 22:12
  Greg Arnold: Um and but after like a month and a half of dating, you know, she started to become slowly uh verbally abusive and just everything that like went wrong tied back to something that I did or that I didn't do.
• 22:29
  Greg Arnold: So that just that just exacerbated any feelings of low self-esteem that I had before to say like I I am just I'm there's just so much wrong with me.
• 22:40
  Greg Arnold: Like there's there's no way that I'm that I'm destined for you know good things in life.
• 22:45
  Greg Arnold: I don't deserve it.
• 22:46
  Greg Arnold: I I just I just co as my my own worst enemy to simply put.
• 22:50
  Greg Arnold: Like I just i it's just I never ever wanted to cut myself a break.
• 22:54
  Greg Arnold: And even even the accolades that I got, I would find a way to minimize them, thinking, like, oh well, you know, either I got lucky or um or it's something that most people can do, like it's uh I I'm not I'm nothing spectacular.
• 23:10
  Greg Arnold: I learned to recluse enough because it was always very humiliating for me to either lose something or um or make a mistake that I would try to overcompensate and kind of conceal any of my shortcomings by just being very, very productive in like other matters.
• 23:34
  Greg Arnold: That that that definitely showed in my in my day job.
• 23:38
  Greg Arnold: But um long story short, you know, I ended up uh or I ended up breaking up with that the verbally abusive person and um and I was probably single for like three months.
• 23:50
  Greg Arnold: I had still been paying a lease off of that apartment, but I went back to living with my father and uh you know his second wife, and I met my now wife, you know, like 2011.
• 24:02
  Greg Arnold: Uh so we've been dating for almost 15 years, and uh like that was kind of a turning point uh meeting meeting her.
• 24:09
  Greg Arnold: So it it kind of it kind of took her to kind of grant or kind of giving me a couple of tools to to realize that you know it's important for me to work on myself, it's important to practice self-compassion, because you know, without it then you're not gonna be able to uh sufficiently be compassionate towards uh towards other people, or you know, especially the people you love.
• 24:35
  Khalila McCoy: Yeah.
• 24:35
  Khalila McCoy: What was it in you that really wanted a relationship?
• 24:40
  Khalila McCoy: Because kind of hearing you talk like I'm a loner and I didn't really see myself as having any self-worth.
• 24:47
  Khalila McCoy: I didn't see myself as, you know, being good enough in any area, what was it that you felt was really like, okay, well, I am willing to get into like a romantic relationship with someone?
• 25:00
  Greg Arnold: So, yeah, funny story.
• 25:01
  Greg Arnold: Uh so when I when I split up with that that first serious relationship, you know, that was verbally abusive, um, I vowed that I was not gonna get in another relationship.
• 25:14
  Greg Arnold: Like I it's it it it just was not worth the effort.
• 25:18
  Greg Arnold: I I I was still pretty numb.
• 25:20
  Khalila McCoy: Right.
• 25:21
  Greg Arnold: And and and I don't know, I I still I still went on those sites to just kind of have like a companion and you know, just just kind of be able to vet my issues, f find a friend is kind of what I was uh what I was hoping looking at.
• 25:35
  Greg Arnold: I I did I did not intend to pursue a relationship, but um but anyway, so so I I'd been talking with her and I talked with her for like maybe three weeks, you know, we had a lot of commonalities.
• 25:49
  Greg Arnold: Uh I I liked uh her demeanor.
• 25:52
  Greg Arnold: Uh she carried on with humor, and I guess I never really thought about this until you asked, but you know, what was it but I liked when you asked uh what is it about the what is it about you wanting to get into the relationship that you want to provide.
• 26:05
  Greg Arnold: Uh now that I'm thinking about it uh is I felt that I that I had been so d torn in my life and abandoned and neglected that I guess in a way I was trying to fix myself by helping other people.
• 26:21
  Greg Arnold: And I I I guess I guess that's probably one way of doing it, but also because well here here here here's another reason.
• 26:30
  Greg Arnold: As an observer, I observed my dad always being very affectionate with my mother and showing that affection and being very grateful for like every meal that she makes, like without skipping a beat.
• 26:42
  Greg Arnold: So I I obviously learned by example from that as well.
• 26:46
  Greg Arnold: So I I I did I did have the um the aspiration to show Yeah, yeah, I did have that and and I guess I wanted to provide that safe space for people that I felt that I didn't quite get.
• 27:05
  Greg Arnold: So I I I I longed for that companionship and you know, relationship like that just so maybe, just maybe, if I find someone that loves me, then maybe I will believe that I deserve to be loved.
• 27:18
  Khalila McCoy: Did you realize at the time that you were a compassionate caring person, or was it just like, eh, whatever?
• 27:26
  Greg Arnold: I definitely realized that I was somebody that, you know, kind of wore my heart on my sleeve, you know, the you know, back then just because uh so I I I knew that I had compassionate traits, like a lot of compassionate traits, towards other people.
• 27:42
  Greg Arnold: Myself not towards yourself.
• 27:44
  Greg Arnold: Not towards myself.
• 27:46
  Greg Arnold: And and here was here was kind of a turning point on what made me decide to shift my mindset, or at least realize that it's important to kind of make a change.
• 27:58
  Greg Arnold: But I would even out loud, I would say, like, well, I'm such an idiot, or you know, like I I I why why don't I know better?
• 28:08
  Greg Arnold: And just just very like verbally and internally, just berate myself.
• 28:14
  Greg Arnold: Like and i it's like honestly, if you extracted everything, you know, like from my brain and you hear it like an audio form, you you would just think i there was abuse going on.
• 28:22
  Greg Arnold: I but I remembered one instance that I was kind of ranting towards my wife, well, it's my girlfriend at the time, but uh and sh she got angry with me.
• 28:34
  Greg Arnold: And and then I'm like, why are you angry?
• 28:37
  Greg Arnold: I I'm not I'm not talking about you, not even talking to you.
• 28:40
  Greg Arnold: Like it's like, but I I don't want you talking that way, you know, towards towards you.
• 28:45
  Greg Arnold: Like it's it it's not okay.
• 28:47
  Greg Arnold: You you shouldn't think that it's okay.
• 28:48
  Greg Arnold: And and it just it it puzzled me.
• 28:51
  Greg Arnold: And so I remember like coming home from uh from school, like one of my last uh one of my last semesters of college.
• 28:58
  Greg Arnold: I remember like driving back home, and it's like saying, Yeah, you know, she cares about me a lot, clearly, uh she actually st stood up for me, and so that's that's just the kind of person she is, even against myself.
• 29:14
  Greg Arnold: Huh.
• 29:14
  Greg Arnold: So and it made me think like, so she would defend me because she doesn't want being me hurt, and I'm also but I'm also capable of hurting myself, so she'll defend me against me.
• 29:25
  Greg Arnold: So I don't it it was something that she couldn't articulate, but then I realized it and I told and I told her that little epiphany, and she said, that's exactly it.
• 29:35
  Greg Arnold: Oh my god, like I'm so proud of you, you know, for for for discovering that.
• 29:38
  Greg Arnold: So so it got me cognizant on why it's important to self-care, but I still had a lot of work to do because I kind of had a little bit of atrophy with uh knowing how to practice self-care, and it's and it's still been like, you know, a decade of trying like various things, getting some therapy, you know, uh talking with with people and trying to practice uh, you know, like gratitude, internal validations and so on and so forth, because uh the way I started to see it is okay, maybe I don't val value myself just yet, but I can value that I'm trying, and and the way I see it is, you know, my father's my best friend, my wife is my best friend, and the those two, you know, do they deserve to have me at my best?
• 30:28
  Greg Arnold: And yes, of course.
• 30:29
  Greg Arnold: So I I think it's important to, you know, start to incorporate self-love in my life.
• 30:36
  Greg Arnold: So that's that that's kind of what um what snowballed this mindset transformation, and it's it's definitely been a been a big journey, but uh but I'm really proud of how far I've uh I've come along.
• 30:51
  Khalila McCoy: Yeah.
• 30:52
  Khalila McCoy: What types of steps did you incorporate?
• 30:55
  Khalila McCoy: Or were they like I know different people say like different mantras during the day, or because it sounds like you had a lot of negative talk to yourself, so I'm assuming that had to be one of the big changes that you made.
• 31:07
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, so uh one of the big changes is one, I try to surround myself with as many encouraging and positive people as possible because just like you know, you kind of become what you eat if you eat so much junk, then you feel so sluggish.
• 31:21
  Greg Arnold: Right.
• 31:22
  Greg Arnold: And same goes with maybe the things we watch on TV or like any media.
• 31:28
  Greg Arnold: If we're doom scrolling, we may come across something that we don't like, you know, something that's like grim.
• 31:33
  Greg Arnold: I I have minimized that uh you know a considerable amount and I've kind of tried focusing on what's what's here and what's now like in my world, it's like you know, more so than what's happening here, like on the phone or social media.
• 31:52
  Greg Arnold: And and it's like you know, it it's a it's a great tool to, you know, you know uh catch up with people, but but we end up immersing ourselves into comparing ourselves so many, so many, uh so many different pathways there that just one, that have nothing to do with us, and two, that just overload our mind to where and and I think most people don't realize this, but if we're if we're doom scrolling, we're still processing so much information.
• 32:21
  Greg Arnold: We may think that we're taking a break.
• 32:23
  Greg Arnold: Like I but I think that's a preconceived notion that you know we're we're kind of utilizing our mental fuel that it and if we see something that's like very draining or something that's dramatic, we end up our motivation just gets so deflated.
• 32:42
  Greg Arnold: And we and it just kind of sh it it shifts our mood for the remainder of the day.
• 32:47
  Greg Arnold: So suffice it to say, uh what I started doing is just keeping my phone down as much as possible.
• 32:53
  Greg Arnold: You know, like the only time I'm using is like I'm checking notifications or uh you know checking emails, um you know, if I if I'm messaging specifically to people, like and and if I happen to see like some kind of mm troubling news and I see you know people reposting and you know how outraged they are, it's like I don't need to be as outraged as they are.
• 33:17
  Greg Arnold: I'm not saying that you know what's going on out there isn't serious, but what can I do about it?
• 33:23
  Greg Arnold: Like what can we individually do about that?
• 33:27
  Khalila McCoy: I mean, I think there's a big difference too, like seeing something being outraged on social media with all the people posting their negativity and whatever view they come in versus like actually sitting with the real people that you know in your community and trying to talk it through and have solve that problem.
• 33:45
  Khalila McCoy: Because I think you get sucked into the negativity a lot easier online.
• 33:49
  Khalila McCoy: And I know I've seen I you know some people don't agree with that.
• 33:53
  Khalila McCoy: I was like, but I don't watch the news when certain things come up, I won't look at certain people's posts because it just you know it makes you sad and it makes it heavy.
• 34:01
  Khalila McCoy: And like I went through a period of like you know, anxiety just watching and listening to what other people are saying, and I'm like, well, this person lives, you know, miles away from me.
• 34:11
  Khalila McCoy: I don't know who they are, but reading what they said others ruined my day, and I'm allowing that in every day by just scrolling through my phone.
• 34:19
  Khalila McCoy: That's exactly exactly.
• 34:22
  Greg Arnold: I mean you you definitely hit the nail on the head when you said there's a difference between being outrage and just you know saying your saying your piece and just just very frustrated, just like altering your mood for the rest of the day.
• 34:33
  Greg Arnold: There's a difference between that and actually trying to solve a problem.
• 34:39
  Greg Arnold: Like instead of just saying what the problem is, it's like, oh my god, oh my god, my uh my my car has a check engine light.
• 34:45
  Greg Arnold: Oh, like what what is going on?
• 34:47
  Greg Arnold: Like, oh my woe is me.
• 34:48
  Greg Arnold: But there's a difference between that and just say, alright, so my check engine light is on, so let's check uh can we check the oil?
• 34:56
  Greg Arnold: What could possibly be be wrong?
• 34:58
  Greg Arnold: Instead of like being inquisitive about it, like there's a there's a big difference between you know just complaining and just leaving it at that and then relaying the issue and saying, like, so now what?
• 35:11
  Greg Arnold: What do we do?
• 35:12
  Greg Arnold: Yes.
• 35:13
  Greg Arnold: So so yeah, it's like that that's one, that's another tactic that I've done, and um trying to incorporate self-forgiveness and just like letting go of things that have been uh weighing heavy on me.
• 35:28
  Greg Arnold: It could be a mistake that like I made today, something very similar, or maybe I I forgot to check uh you know the K the KFC food and be like, oh man, you know, my my my wife got Dr.
• 35:38
  Greg Arnold: Pepper instead of Sprite, you know, whatever the case might be.
• 35:40
  Greg Arnold: Sometimes even trivial things would kind of aggravate me, like, oh yeah, what was I thinking?
• 35:47
  Greg Arnold: But uh but this is why I did it, this is why it happened, and just trying to kind of have like a little discourse.
• 35:54
  Greg Arnold: This was the resource I had at the time, this was the circumstance, but here's what I learned from it.
• 36:00
  Greg Arnold: And and once you acknowledge what you have taken from it, you either win or you learn, which is why I learned in arm wrestling.
• 36:07
  Greg Arnold: Uh but uh but you either win or you learn, and and it's just so easy from there to kind of, you know, uh just go ahead and then say, All right, I'm ready to let go.
• 36:19
  Greg Arnold: I fre I forgive myself, you know.
• 36:21
  Greg Arnold: So I'm I'm ready to move on.
• 36:23
  Greg Arnold: Just it and and it's not excusing any any mistake that you made, but it's the fact that, hey, I've taken accountability, but I'm not gonna allow myself to suffer and dwell.
• 36:32
  Khalila McCoy: Right.
• 36:33
  Khalila McCoy: I like that.
• 36:33
  Khalila McCoy: It's accountability and it's reflective.
• 36:36
  Khalila McCoy: So when you come into that situation again, you have something in your tool belt to help you.
• 36:40
  Khalila McCoy: Okay, well, when last time I was in this situation, I did this, I did not like it, this is how I can move on.
• 36:47
  Greg Arnold: Exactly.
• 36:47
  Greg Arnold: And that's that's definitely for those trying to rewire your mindset going from self-doubt to self-worth.
• 36:55
  Greg Arnold: Uh I experienced that a lot in pro-arm wrestling.
• 36:59
  Greg Arnold: And the re and I'll tell and I'll tell you why that I experienced a lot of uh lack of self-esteem at first, because my father is also a pro-arm wrestler.
• 37:07
  Greg Arnold: Uh he had been in the sport, he's been in the sport for like over 40 years.
• 37:11
  Greg Arnold: Uh he was he actually was so good, like he be he was a very prominent figure in uh in the tri-state and even some national level as well.
• 37:19
  Greg Arnold: Um so um he he he he had won a couple of national titles, uh he he got third in the in the world uh in the in the late 80s.
• 37:29
  Greg Arnold: Um he's a legend in the eyes of his generation and even my generation.
• 37:38
  Greg Arnold: You know, like he's he's definitely so so he taught me it, he he tre he he still trains me in the sport, and and because I haven't done a I haven't achieved as many accolades as he has, it I put him on a high pedestal, but sometimes at the expense of myself, thinking like, oh man, I gotta measure up or the w otherwise I'm I'm nothing.
• 37:59
  Greg Arnold: I'm I'm just I'm just Bill Arnold's kid.
• 38:01
  Greg Arnold: But uh pressure.
• 38:04
  Greg Arnold: Yes.
• 38:05
  Greg Arnold: Uh but it but eventually I got to shift uh my mindset, had like a good talk with my with my dad on how so he he never he never pressured me to like succeed or anything, but it was one, it was how we bonded because he and I would go travel nationwide together to competitions.
• 38:24
  Greg Arnold: Uh you know, make we we definitely made a lot of memories.
• 38:27
  Greg Arnold: I mean we still do, like because I still compete and train.
• 38:30
  Greg Arnold: But uh but I I was so busy chasing perfection that it just it it just killed my motivation of even wanting to get out there.
• 38:39
  Greg Arnold: Um but now I've learned how to chase momentum instead of perfection.
• 38:45
  Greg Arnold: And here was a real crowning turning point in my uh in not only my professional arm wrestling career, but just my mindset in general.
• 38:53
  Greg Arnold: So there was uh there's this guy that is that was number one in the state of Ohio.
• 39:00
  Greg Arnold: I and Ohio's where I live.
• 39:02
  Greg Arnold: So he had been in sport for like maybe four years and he's he's achieved a lot.
• 39:07
  Greg Arnold: He he won he won pretty, you know, prestigious titles like in the state and tri-state area, and he he easily beat he he would easily beat guys that are even higher caliber than than me, just stronger, str you know, just just very fierce competitors.
• 39:26
  Greg Arnold: And out of the blue, he reaches out to me and say, Hey, I I I was wondering, you know, would you like to uh can will you accept a challenge for me in in this particular arm?
• 39:39
  Greg Arnold: And and then like, well, in light of you just beating this guy, you know, you you know, I you might be a little out of my league, but uh, you know, if this is what you really want, then uh I I I I was about to shy away from it, and then I'm like, y you know what, this is an opportunity for me to go out there and uh say like, you know, you know what, I I lose so what?
• 39:59
  Greg Arnold: And and and in retrospect, uh, you know, he's he didn't really have anything to gain by beating me.
• 40:06
  Greg Arnold: But I will say arm wrestling is a very niche kind of sport, and it involves a lot of different technique, and because I had been part of the sport for on and off about 20 years, I'm kind of like a real I I I did start to build a reputation for myself in that state and thought, oh well, if if you beat if you beat Greg, then you know you're well on your way.
• 40:28
  Greg Arnold: I guess I was kind of a kind of a I I was still a stepping stone.
• 40:32
  Greg Arnold: Okay.
• 40:33
  Greg Arnold: Now statisti now, ranking-wise, he didn't really have anything to gain by beating me, still in that in the left arm, but nonetheless, he knew that he hasn't competed against someone that had my not only my experience, but also my various uh techniques.
• 40:50
  Greg Arnold: Like I you know, I I I was not a I was not a one-trick pony, if you will.
• 40:55
  Greg Arnold: So I told my dad about the matchup, and uh he's like, well, I mean, and this is the first time he's actually said this to me in the 20 years that uh he and I have trained together, but he said, I I don't see you winning this match, however.
• 41:09
  Greg Arnold: Um let's just see you know, but uh uh uh it you said but but you know what, you know, Greg, let this let this be an opportunity that uh see how see how great you can get and how how much you can uh you can really bulldoze through like your PRs, your records, and just see how strong you can get.
• 41:29
  Greg Arnold: And for for two and a half to three months, you know, was how how long I had time to train for before the match.
• 41:36
  Greg Arnold: And I did like random, like lots of dumbbell holds, and I more than doubled my uh my record of holding for like 30 seconds.
• 41:45
  Greg Arnold: Um I I I I was breaking through max lifts and doing like so many different things.
• 41:51
  Greg Arnold: Like I just we kind of had a plan A, plan B, and plan C on what to do for this guy.
• 41:56
  Greg Arnold: We studied, this guy watched some video reels of him, and super strong guy, but he really was, I guess you would call a one-trick pony.
• 42:07
  Greg Arnold: He was really strong in this one position.
• 42:09
  Greg Arnold: So even though like going into it, I wasn't confident that I was gonna win, but I did win.
• 42:17
  Greg Arnold: Um and here's how it happened.
• 42:21
  Greg Arnold: Um what it all came down to is you know, I I felt, okay, well, it may not be enough, but I'm gonna tell you, I I I turned from fear of being ostracized by his uh by by the uh spectators of that event.
• 42:37
  Greg Arnold: I turned that to excitement to see, I can't wait to showcase how how far I've uh far I've come.
• 42:42
  Greg Arnold: Maybe it's not it's probably not gonna be enough for me to win, but I I want them to see like, hey, I I I want to at least make him really work for it.
• 42:50
  Greg Arnold: Like that was my goal, to make him work for it.
• 42:53
  Greg Arnold: So what that taught me, what that taught me is the amount of commitment that you provide for yourself for at least three weeks, try three months.
• 43:05
  Greg Arnold: Uh you know, I think that's what's going to ultimately determine your uh your level of uh level of success.
• 43:13
  Greg Arnold: Like we're so results driven, like immediate results-driven, that if we don't see something right away, we get e you know easily discouraged.
• 43:21
  Khalila McCoy: Yeah.
• 43:23
  Greg Arnold: Now we're living in a time, an advanced technology time that we're expected uh to be replication.
• 43:29
  Greg Arnold: Yes.
• 43:30
  Greg Arnold: Yes.
• 43:30
  Greg Arnold: Exactly.
• 43:31
  Greg Arnold: But um but that's not how that's not how like that's not long-lasting.
• 43:36
  Greg Arnold: Yeah.
• 43:37
  Greg Arnold: So it's but anyway, that was the lesson that taught me.
• 43:41
  Greg Arnold: It was just a bonus that I happened to win, and that's how I became number one in the state of uh state of Ohio.
• 43:47
  Khalila McCoy: And I'm like, wow, so I think Oh, so I have the number one pro wrestler on my podcast?
• 43:53
  Khalila McCoy: Wow.
• 43:53
  Khalila McCoy: Just in the state.
• 43:54
  Khalila McCoy: Just in the state.
• 43:57
  Khalila McCoy: I still had a lot of work to do.
• 44:00
  Greg Arnold: But just just seeing me leveling up and it may not be, you know, it's not always gonna be the result that you want, but if you are chasing simply being the best that you can be, period, then that's all that matters.
• 44:16
  Greg Arnold: I mean, just be a better version, you know, than you were yesterday, uh last week, last month, and just really chart how far you've come just to really uh reinforce the the fruits of your labor.
• 44:31
  Greg Arnold: So that's so that was a huge turning point in my confidence.
• 44:36
  Greg Arnold: And it's like I want to teach like other arm wrestlers, other like young students uh or y young adults, uh high school students that may feel that may feel like I did, you know, when I was younger and feeling alone.
• 44:51
  Greg Arnold: It's like, listen, like there are pat there are other ways, and confidence is not some it's not a trait that you have, because I used to think confidence was just something you were either born with or it's just a trait, or you just simply have to manifest it, or you have to fake it till you make it.
• 45:07
  Greg Arnold: No, it is j it is a muscle that you work, essentially.
• 45:10
  Greg Arnold: I mean, it is something that you work consistently.
• 45:13
  Greg Arnold: And that is that unlocked like even if I was given um even if like now I embrace challenges instead of running away from them.
• 45:24
  Greg Arnold: So so that's which is a big shift.
• 45:27
  Greg Arnold: Yes, so that's the transformation that I want to provide to people, but I also want to inspire other people that feel you know down and defeated within themselves, that it does not have to be that way.
• 45:41
  Greg Arnold: Like it that may be a story that you've told yourself in the past, but that does not have to be the one that you keep writing or you keep living.
• 45:49
  Greg Arnold: So it's like it's like I I am living proof that you can rebuild your purpose and thrive, and just just there's always time for a fresh start.
• 46:04
  Khalila McCoy: So for someone who's listening and is like, okay, I struggle with self-confidence and I'm hearing his story and it sounds great, but you know, he had arm wrestling to help him through.
• 46:13
  Khalila McCoy: I don't have that.
• 46:14
  Khalila McCoy: Like, what would you say to that person?
• 46:16
  Greg Arnold: That's a very, very good question.
• 46:18
  Greg Arnold: Um so the way I looked at it is arm wrestling, I did not start off being good at it.
• 46:24
  Greg Arnold: Like I I was super skinny.
• 46:27
  Greg Arnold: I was like a I was a skinny 150 pounder.
• 46:29
  Greg Arnold: I would easily get manhandled.
• 46:32
  Greg Arnold: Like I would hold my own against like other teens, but adults and especially pros, I lost so many times.
• 46:40
  Greg Arnold: Like I got humiliated so many times.
• 46:43
  Greg Arnold: So like that match that I was telling you about, this happened, I think it was August of 2025.
• 46:50
  Greg Arnold: So this was very, very recent.
• 46:54
  Greg Arnold: And I had been in the sport for almost for almost 20 years.
• 46:58
  Greg Arnold: So it took me a couple of decades to unlock my biggest potential.
• 47:04
  Greg Arnold: So I I will say to the people that you know that that okay, you know, well I I don't have arm wrestling.
• 47:11
  Greg Arnold: I mean it's like, okay, well, that's fine.
• 47:13
  Greg Arnold: Well what what do you have?
• 47:14
  Greg Arnold: What do you want to excel in?
• 47:17
  Greg Arnold: Like what what do you feel is pulling you?
• 47:20
  Greg Arnold: So and and if that's something you want to master, then find different paths to uh to to get you good at.
• 47:29
  Greg Arnold: Like maybe you wanna maybe maybe you just like want to lose weight or something.
• 47:33
  Greg Arnold: Um internally validate yourself by not what the number says on that scale, but the fact that you spent the the last like the you spent the first three days making much better dietary choices, that you got to be more active.
• 47:49
  Greg Arnold: Instead of uh instead of sitting on the couch uh for like the last hour, you you decide to go for a walk or you decide to you know go for a run or you know do some dancing.
• 47:59
  Greg Arnold: Uh something.
• 48:00
  Khalila McCoy: So celebrate the little things that you do along the way.
• 48:04
  Greg Arnold: Interim goals.
• 48:05
  Greg Arnold: Uh celebrate every interim goal.
• 48:08
  Greg Arnold: So like I I think people look at it as okay, what does the destination look like?
• 48:14
  Greg Arnold: Oh man, you know, that's so far, I'm not gonna be able to do it.
• 48:17
  Greg Arnold: It's like, okay, well, see how close you can get it.
• 48:21
  Greg Arnold: You know, how how close can you build and how how how fast can you go?
• 48:25
  Greg Arnold: And once you start and chart them to whatever it is you do, whether it's a workout, whether it's you know, trying to lose weight, or whether you're trying you're an entrepreneur and you you want to reach out to uh to clients, see how many people you reach out to and and assess what works and what doesn't.
• 48:44
  Greg Arnold: Um if you want to master something, I mean you gotta be great at it.
• 48:51
  Greg Arnold: Now to be great at it, you have to be good decent at it.
• 48:55
  Greg Arnold: To be decent at it, you gotta be bad at it.
• 48:58
  Greg Arnold: To be bad at it, you've gotta actually do it.
• 49:00
  Greg Arnold: So my tip, do it.
• 49:02
  Greg Arnold: If something is pulling you, you know, d do something.
• 49:05
  Greg Arnold: Uh ask ask people that are uh that are well known in the industry or people that have lived that life.
• 49:10
  Greg Arnold: Learn from them.
• 49:11
  Greg Arnold: Watch watch tutorials on on YouTube, uh ask if you can audit uh like a course of their I don't know, whatever the case might be.
• 49:20
  Greg Arnold: Trevor Burrus, Jr.
• 49:21
  Khalila McCoy: And it's surprising like how willing people are.
• 49:24
  Khalila McCoy: Like, you know, you'll get your nose and stuff, and like the people who are looking at you like, why are you here?
• 49:29
  Khalila McCoy: But you know, there are people who are willing to help and support.
• 49:33
  Khalila McCoy: Like you, you want to help somebody, you want to mentor other people.
• 49:37
  Khalila McCoy: There are people out there more than you would think.
• 49:41
  Greg Arnold: Yes.
• 49:41
  Greg Arnold: I love being able to help people like whenever whatever they ask, because it's like, you know, I I know what it's like when I felt like I was without a paddle or that I was too nervous to take that step.
• 49:51
  Greg Arnold: What can I expect going into it?
• 49:54
  Greg Arnold: I I like um I like being a mentor for uh for for a few of the people because you know I look young, but at the same time I've been in this I I've been around the block a bunch of times when it comes to that sport.
• 50:07
  Greg Arnold: So uh uh all this to say, echoing what you were saying, people enjoy helping.
• 50:11
  Greg Arnold: I enjoy helping when it comes to training for arm wrestling, being in a sport, or getting in the right mindset uh as an athlete or as an actor.
• 50:21
  Greg Arnold: Like I'm privileged that I got to be part of a couple of different um you know, different industries because it taught me resilience because uh you I would send a hundred, uh let's say I would send a hundred emails, auditions, and whatnot, and I I would get one, maybe two jobs out of the hundred.
• 50:45
  Greg Arnold: So you it's a numbers game, it is a timing game.
• 50:49
  Khalila McCoy: So that I find that so interesting.
• 50:51
  Khalila McCoy: So someone who has so much self-doubt, right, who was talking negative to themselves, I find it very interesting that you would pick an industry that rejects you and tells you no.
• 51:01
  Khalila McCoy: So how did you balance that?
• 51:03
  Greg Arnold: Well, that's a very good question because there were times where uh where I felt I couldn't.
• 51:08
  Greg Arnold: Um in the beginning, when I didn't really have uh didn't have anywhere to go but up, I I was still aware that um that that I was that I was I I was expected the rejection because like I was still new.
• 51:29
  Greg Arnold: As I started to get a few titles, like small titles, um I w i I would it would start to give me the impression, okay, well, I I'm able to do it, but then you have other people that maybe they're not looking for you, not because like you did a bad job, but because you know you're just not the vocal print that they're looking for.
• 51:50
  Greg Arnold: It it does get a lot of people.
• 51:51
  Khalila McCoy: So it's not personal.
• 51:53
  Greg Arnold: Right.
• 51:53
  Greg Arnold: Like it it it it's about um I mean i i in the entertainment industry, I mean, you're you're gonna meet a meet across a couple of people that are, you know, unpleasant, you know, to put it politely.
• 52:05
  Greg Arnold: Um I guess that's every industry, honestly.
• 52:08
  Greg Arnold: Yeah.
• 52:08
  Greg Arnold: But uh but I don't know.
• 52:10
  Greg Arnold: Um it it was hard to balance, and whenever I would particularly be uh you know, be hard on myself, I I simply would step away, take a break, uh, you know, take a hiatus, like even if it's like a few days, because the reality is this voiceover is and was a part-time uh part-time endeavor, and and I don't know, I just uh I I simply tried to make as many outlets available for me as humanly possible.
• 52:43
  Greg Arnold: Like I would love to go out running, like around like the neighborhood block.
• 52:47
  Greg Arnold: We have a Siberian husky, you know, you we gotta keep we we gotta keep him active, yes.
• 52:52
  Greg Arnold: Yes, so so it was motivation for me to go out running or or or you know, e even even punch a pillow, like if I'm uh if I'm feeling like feeling angry.
• 53:02
  Greg Arnold: But um but after being in the voiceover industry for ten years and you hear it so much, like in the beginning, uh you kinda subconsciously learn that okay, it's it's not personal, but I mean it it it sucks, but it's but it's not personal at the same time.
• 53:20
  Greg Arnold: Um and yeah, it it it taught me uh it taught me a lot.
• 53:25
  Greg Arnold: Um I I would still uh I would still once in a blue moon think like, oh well, maybe I didn't deserve uh those those roles to begin with.
• 53:35
  Greg Arnold: I mean like i i i I would kind of teeter towards that, but uh but I didn't stay that way, but uh but yeah, voiceover definitely taught you to submit and forget.
• 53:47
  Greg Arnold: Just, you know, don't have your heart set to that particular role.
• 53:50
  Greg Arnold: And, you know, if door closes, just you know look for another one, you know, there might you know it it might be open, or look for a window even.
• 53:58
  Greg Arnold: Like you never you just never know what is out there for you.
• 54:03
  Greg Arnold: And you know, I I I I'd kind of been on the um I'd kind of been on an upward trajectory in my uh in my mindset, but I w I would say it was as recent as a half a year ago that I really, really embraced challenges.
• 54:18
  Greg Arnold: Like I'm not I'm not just confident that I can get through this this issue, but I'm actually embracing it.
• 54:24
  Greg Arnold: So that's another uh transformation.
• 54:27
  Khalila McCoy: And you mentioned that like your dad and your wife, they're your best friends.
• 54:30
  Khalila McCoy: Are they very cognizant of this journey that you're going on?
• 54:33
  Khalila McCoy: So the do they push you in any sort of way, or do you still kind of lean on them when you're starting to get self-doubt?
• 54:41
  Greg Arnold: Um column A and column B.
• 54:43
  Greg Arnold: Uh by me, it's it's more column A at this point, but uh but yeah, my my wife and my father, they're well aware of my aspirations to be a speaker, and my dad says that he's he's seen like a huge shift in my uh in my mindset and confidence, and I am not timid like I like I used to be.
• 55:06
  Greg Arnold: Because he's watched me like my whole entire life.
• 55:09
  Greg Arnold: He expresses how uh how proud he is of me, and he thinks like, I think it's because you had you had your daughter.
• 55:15
  Greg Arnold: And like well, I think that's part of it.
• 55:18
  Greg Arnold: And because I want to I want her to be as happy and confident and just adventurous and just ready to take on anything and just not like be fearless because I don't want her to feel remotely the way that I did.
• 55:37
  Greg Arnold: And and my wife, uh you know, she she had a pretty rough childhood that like her parents were never validating to her as well.
• 55:44
  Greg Arnold: Like she she had to constantly prove herself and be kind of the adult as she became a teenager.
• 55:52
  Greg Arnold: But anyway, uh so she was a product.
• 55:54
  Khalila McCoy: She has a level of understanding too of what it feels like and what you've gone through.
• 55:58
  Greg Arnold: Aaron Ross Powell Yes.
• 55:59
  Greg Arnold: She and I have grown together.
• 56:03
  Greg Arnold: Um like we both have healed one another, and in in uh in light of having our daughter, we kind of healed a lot of our uh childhood trauma as well by you know taking care of her, being able to learn from it, and just love her the way that we felt that we needed back then.
• 56:24
  Greg Arnold: Not saying like you know that we weren't loved as kids, but but just we we probably didn't get that um we we we probably didn't get quite enough.
• 56:34
  Greg Arnold: But yeah, so back to uh I I I guess back to the back to the premise.
• 56:39
  Greg Arnold: Uh I I was so timid, I was so broken, I I was in a state where I felt I didn't deserve anything.
• 56:48
  Greg Arnold: And it took it took my wife, uh I I it may have taken kind of an external factor, but in doing so, it kind of gave me the tools to kind of fix myself like within or for me to fix myself within myself.
• 57:04
  Greg Arnold: So uh all this to say that it's possible for me, it is possible for anyone, like if they if they really uh if they really want to make uh make any kind of transformation in their lives.
• 57:20
  Greg Arnold: Just start with something that's that's small, like internally validate yourself saying, hey, today I chose peace over drama.
• 57:28
  Greg Arnold: And then once you start to once you start to be a little fundamentally better at looking within yourself, then start going out, going outside in the gratitude, be like, thank you for this, you know, roof over my head, thank you for the clean water, thank you for you know the air I breathe, being able to travel, um, you know.
• 57:49
  Greg Arnold: I if I'm having a particularly rough day, I will say, you know, I'm so grateful that I'm not incarcerated.
• 57:56
  Greg Arnold: That's true.
• 57:59
  Greg Arnold: I gotta have my own I gotta have my own private restroom.
• 58:02
  Greg Arnold: Uh so it's like so it's like it it's definitely mo it motivates me to uh you know uh keep my nose clean.
• 58:11
  Khalila McCoy: Oh no.
• 58:12
  Khalila McCoy: I do the same thing.
• 58:14
  Greg Arnold: Yeah, so yeah, so it it's it's been a journey, it's been exhausting, but man, it's been uh it's been very uh very rewarding and I I know how it feels to kind of be able to breathe again like within your within your souls.
• 58:31
  Greg Arnold: Like I I c uh I can't remember when the last time that like I like when I was a kid, like I I would used to very genuinely smile, but then like as I got older I started to have to either feign it or or I feel okay, well I could I fake it until I make it.
• 58:51
  Greg Arnold: Uh but now I feel genuinely happy and I do embrace every challenge because I see a challenge as like an opportunity for me to show up and see what I can what I can gather from it.
• 59:04
  Greg Arnold: And I don't have to always have the answer for the problem at that moment.
• 59:09
  Greg Arnold: And and then that the same goes with like anybody else that's uh that's having any particular issue.
• 59:15
  Greg Arnold: There's nothing wrong with asking for help, asking for a different perspective, and just taking it from there and uh you know it's like you know, like I said, like you either win or or or you learn.
• 59:33
  Greg Arnold: What can you extract from from it?
• 59:37
  Khalila McCoy: Yeah.
• 59:38
  Khalila McCoy: I really enjoyed hearing all of that that you had to say, and I also like the perspective coming from a male because I feel like a lot of times in our society, you know, men don't get a chance to really emote and talk about how they're feeling and what they're going through.
• 59:56
  Khalila McCoy: And I like that idea of like, hopefully there's some male listeners out there too, finding strength in what you're saying.
• 1:00:03
  Khalila McCoy: Um, is there anything specific you would say to other males who, you know, feel like, oh, I have to be tough, I have to hide it, I have to keep this inside?
• 1:00:13
  Greg Arnold: I think what I would have them take away from this is uh you know, I just I I I hope that what rises in them in if if you can uh rise the the permission to stop punishing yourself for surviving or for trying to learn.
• 1:00:34
  Greg Arnold: And I just I kind of want them to know that you know healing isn't you're not erasing the past.
• 1:00:42
  Greg Arnold: You cannot change the past.
• 1:00:43
  Greg Arnold: But it's about build but it's about building a relationship with yourself despite what you have endured, that can hold a much better future and hold a much better life than what you had had lived.
• 1:00:57
  Greg Arnold: So if you're listening, uh if you feel like that you're at zero, well zero is not a sentence.
• 1:01:06
  Greg Arnold: Like it's not a sentence in prison.
• 1:01:08
  Greg Arnold: It is only a starting point.
• 1:01:10
  Greg Arnold: You do not have to walk it perfectly.
• 1:01:13
  Greg Arnold: In fact, progress is not meant to be linear.
• 1:01:16
  Greg Arnold: Like if you're if you're doing a workout regimen, you're not gonna you're not gonna max every single lift.
• 1:01:22
  Greg Arnold: I mean, some sometimes you've got to let your you let your muscles recover and grow.
• 1:01:26
  Greg Arnold: You you'll you might plateau, maybe you'll take a tiny dip, but give yourself a fair chance, like at least three weeks to a month of discipline.
• 1:01:36
  Greg Arnold: I you know, mindset speakers like to say discipline, but I like the term commitment better than discipline.
• 1:01:42
  Greg Arnold: Discipline, I you know, when I hear discipline, uh they it's ambiguous.
• 1:01:45
  Greg Arnold: I think, oh, I'm getting in trouble in school.
• 1:01:47
  Greg Arnold: I like commitment better.
• 1:01:49
  Greg Arnold: I like commitment better personally, because you are committing yourself to making some kind of a positive difference.
• 1:01:55
  Greg Arnold: So uh all this to say you don't have to progress or walk the perfect path.
• 1:02:03
  Greg Arnold: It's not going to be.
• 1:02:04
  Greg Arnold: But keep walking anyway.
• 1:02:06
  Greg Arnold: You you just have to just have to keep walking.
• 1:02:09
  Khalila McCoy: I like that.
• 1:02:10
  Khalila McCoy: Keep walking anyway.
• 1:02:12
  Khalila McCoy: That's perfect.
• 1:02:13
  Khalila McCoy: Great.
• 1:02:14
  Khalila McCoy: Well, thank you.
• 1:02:15
  Khalila McCoy: I really appreciate your time.
• 1:02:16
  Khalila McCoy: I love you.
• 1:02:18
  Khalila McCoy: Win or you learn.
• 1:02:19
  Khalila McCoy: That's something I'm definitely taking away.
• 1:02:20
  Khalila McCoy: And then just keep walking.
• 1:02:21
  Khalila McCoy: I really love that.
• 1:02:22
  Khalila McCoy: So thank you, Greg.
• 1:02:24
  Greg Arnold: Of course.
• 1:02:25
  Greg Arnold: Thank you for having me.
• 1:02:26
  Greg Arnold: It's it's been a it's been a pleasure.
• 1:02:30
  Khalila McCoy: First of all, hearing Greg talk, you can immediately tell why he gets voiceover gigs.
• 1:02:36
  Khalila McCoy: His voice is just so cool.
• 1:02:38
  Khalila McCoy: But what I really loved about this episode is how deeply it leans into the heart of listening louder.
• 1:02:46
  Khalila McCoy: As I listened to Greg share his story, he dropped so many golden nuggets.
• 1:02:49
  Khalila McCoy: And here are a few that really stood out to me.
• 1:02:52
  Khalila McCoy: Greg said that he wants to, quote, create that safe space for people that I didn't quite get.
• 1:02:59
  Khalila McCoy: This isn't the first time we've heard someone on this podcast talk about wanting to help others be better than they were, and it definitely won't be the last.
• 1:03:08
  Khalila McCoy: I think that is such an important theme.
• 1:03:11
  Khalila McCoy: You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to have lived the same exact situation as someone else to help them out.
• 1:03:19
  Khalila McCoy: You just need compassion.
• 1:03:21
  Khalila McCoy: He also encouraged us to be a better version than you were yesterday, and he reminds us that confidence is a muscle you work on, not necessarily something you're born with.
• 1:03:33
  Khalila McCoy: So, again, not perfection, but reflection and steady growth.
• 1:03:39
  Khalila McCoy: And my favorite nugget, you heard me say it in the conversation, was either you win or you learn.
• 1:03:46
  Khalila McCoy: I love that mindset.
• 1:03:48
  Khalila McCoy: And Greg is all about mindset shifts, and honestly, even in a win, there's still something to learn.
• 1:03:55
  Khalila McCoy: So no matter what stage of life you're in, these are the kinds of reminders we need from time to time.
• 1:04:02
  Khalila McCoy: Always learning, always rising.
• 1:04:05
  Khalila McCoy: Greg's contact information is in the show notes.
• 1:04:10
  Khalila McCoy: You can follow him on Instagram, find him on LinkedIn, or connect with him through his website.
• 1:04:15
  Khalila McCoy: I had the privilege of continuing the conversation with him after we stopped recording, and he is genuinely a great and funny guy.
• 1:04:23
  Khalila McCoy: We stay connected on Facebook, and I wish him and his family the absolute best.
• 1:04:28
  Khalila McCoy: Alright, y'all.
• 1:04:30
  Khalila McCoy: Thanks for spending time with me today.
• 1:04:32
  Khalila McCoy: As you move through the rest of your day, I hope you take a moment to listen a little louder to yourself, to the people you love, and to the things that connect us in ways we sometimes forget to know.
• 1:04:43
  Khalila McCoy: I'll meet you back here next time.
• 1:04:45
  Khalila McCoy: See ya bye.