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"Why I Hate Fatherhood & Husbandhood" (EXCLUSIVE!!) · Regretful Parents

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kristen.
• 0:00
  Speaker 2: Erica.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: You know, it's so funny. Every time I edit these videos,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I'm like, girl, you got to come up with a
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: stronger intro opening. And then I do the same exact
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: thing every single time.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Classic bitch who doesn't learn from her own mistakes.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: But today is a very exciting day because something we
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: have been waiting for For as long as we have
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: been doing regretful parents content, it finally happened. And that
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: is somebody sent us their own original regretful parents post.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: You know we made it to the big leagues. You know.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: This is a monumental day. Can you hear me okay,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: by the way? My mic's kind of farther away because
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I don't like how much I've been breathing lately.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it sounds good.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, good. So this is a YouTube exclusive, Regretful Parents.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: You guys have never heard this story before. No, no.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: He did post it, I will say, I'll read the
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: beginning part. He had said, my post was flagged on Reddit,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: which I'm curious, I've only skimmed it. So I'm curious,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I didn't see anything that immediately lit up like, oh
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: my gosh, that's why it got flagged. But he said,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: my post was flagged on Reddit, so I wanted to
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: provide the original as it tells the true story or
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: why I hate fatherhood and husbandhood. What are you thinking?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: It's getting better and better. Yeah.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I hope this finds you well and you can warn
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: other men on your podcast. I appreciate what you two
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: do and feel more people need to hear these conversations
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: and break away from the conservative brainwashing to be fruitful
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: and multiply. Yeah. Any thoughts on the conservative brainwashing to
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: be fruitful and multiply?
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's a heavy fucking question. There's a lot
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I could respond to. But yes, I agree. I agree
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: with this man.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I am a dad to a nine-year-old girl and we
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: just had another baby recently. Two months after we got
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: back from our honeymoon.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Okay. So now we're going We're doing a throwback. Okay.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Two months after we got back from our honeymoon, my
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: wife and I found out she was pregnant. Oh, no.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: It's a honeymoon baby.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: But a lot of people plan that, dude. I know
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: firsthand several people who wanted to get pregnant on their honeymoon.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: That's a thing? It's a thing. That sounds like a nightmare.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: You're supposed to enjoy your honeymoon.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: But I think that's what it is. It's like, oh, like,
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: we're going to have sex all the time anyway. Like, let's, like,
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: make this, like, so special. Like, We're going to conceive
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: of childs, too.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, God, I hate that. Okay, well, this was not
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: the case for them because the next thing he says is,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I was not expecting it as she was on birth control, parentheses,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: as she was all through our college years. And I definitely...
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: And I definitely wasn't ready being just 23. So these
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: people graduated and then got married real fast and then
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: got pregnant.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. Yeah. Real fast. OK.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: 23 is a literal baby.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: That's insane. Yeah. No, that's insane. I mean, the people
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: who I know who have strived to have a baby
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: conceived during their honeymoon have all been in their 30s
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: or like we've been together for a really long time. Like, yeah. No.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Your honeymoon in your early 20s? Yeah.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah. We discussed having kids far in the future as
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: we talked about how excited we both were to be
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: starting our careers. Upon the pregnancy stick results, I wanted
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: to scream and cry while she was ecstatic and the
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: happiest I had ever seen her. So I thought she
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: will make a wonderful mother and we're done with school.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I have a good job so we should be fine.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: This is horrible.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: This is a horror story.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: This is a horror story. It was always in the
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: back of my mind that she, oh, that she lied
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: about taking birth control. I thought, I mean, it could
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: be an oopsie daisy. Birth control is not 100%. But yeah,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: that would make you fucking paranoid.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah. I mean, especially when she was so ecstatic,
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: like the happiest she's ever been. Like, you think if
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: you were like trying to protect yourself and found out
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: you were pregnant, you'd be like, hey, I'm either in
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: shock or I'm, you know, a negative feeling.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. I am really curious if these people are Christian,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: were Christian. I'm assuming that because that's what he said
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: in the beginning. But I will say like as a
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: former Christian, like getting married and stuff at 23 was
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: like very normal and like was encouraged. So I'm kind
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: of assuming that. That this was the case, but also
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: people weren't really using birth control in my neck of
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: the woods, but I guess everyone's different.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Right, right. Or like Mormon, because I mean, I know
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: people who got pregnant right after getting, straight after getting married,
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: but again, if they talked about their careers, I don't know.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: It was always in the back of my mind that
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: she lied about taking birth control, but I guess I
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: could have done my due diligence and worn protection.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Fair. All right. I appreciate a man trying to take,
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: you know, what's not the word? Responsibility. What's the other one?
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Protection.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know. You're responsible. You're accountable. Trying to take accountability.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Once our baby came, more and more pressure was
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: put on me by her and her annoying mother, grandmother, sister.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: So there's a whole family. Yeah. Like you need. Oh,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: this is so annoying. You need a bigger house. You
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: need to buy her a better car. You need to
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: help her more because she is tired. I mean, help
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: her more is one thing, but bigger house and better
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: car is fucking annoying.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: I'm with you. I agree. The first two are annoying.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: Shut the fuck up. This wasn't planned. I'm not happy
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: about this, but I'm not going to tell you that.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I can't tell you that. I'm a child myself. Yeah.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Why don't you buy me a bigger house, grandmother?
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, grandma.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Shut your mouth, you piehole. I overheard her complaining to
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: her mom that I didn't help her clean the house enough.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Mind you, she is a stay-at-home mom, and I am
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: trying to prove myself at my new career working 10
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: to 12 hours a day.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Oof. That's pretty brutal.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'd like to think I am a pretty good dad. Wait,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: can I actually just back up for a second? Because
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I do want to say, I think two things can
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: be true at once. I think the mom can be
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: both tired. Mind you, she is also working 10 to
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: 12 hours a day, plus the rest of the hours
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: of the day. So, like, I understand that he's tired, but, like,
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: we're all working all the time, and everybody needs to contribute. So, yeah,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I just want to make sure that we're also being
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: fair to the woman who's not able to express her
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: side of the story. I.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I will always defend a woman, especially a woman who
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: is being potentially pegged as, you know, a stay at
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: home mom or somebody who's not working. So therefore they
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: have all this extra time. So therefore they should be
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: cleaning the house. And that's their duty as a as
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: a woman. But I also see from his perspective that it's.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: He's working a ton of hours. Yeah, but it is
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: annoying that she was complaining about him with an earshot
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: of him. Like, that should be a conversation they navigate
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: together and or she does it when he's at work
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: 10 to 12 hours a day. Yeah, yeah.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Be complaining when your husband could hear you? Learn a lesson.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: You've got to be more sneaky with your complaining.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: That's something all of us women in our 30s know.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: We know. Yeah.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Okay. He says, I'd like to think I am a
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: pretty good dad. I get home from work every day
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: and I take our daughter and the dog, oh, for
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: a walk and let my wife rest. And then I
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: start dinner, which now has turned into if I don't
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: make dinner, I better go pick something up or we
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: don't eat. Okay.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: Okay. Maybe you're both processing that one in real time. Wait. Okay. Okay.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: I also got up with our daughter every night to
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: give her a bottle because my wife became more and
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: more lethargic. Okay, so there's a fucking lot happening in here.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I also got up with our daughter every night to
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: give her a bottle because my wife became more and
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: more lethargic. So some kind of hell thing is happening here. Okay.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I finally sat down with her on one of our
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: date nights and I said, are you happy?
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I love this. I love this. First of all, I
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: love the precedence of having date nights. That's great.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, that is great. Healthy. That also feels very Christian, though.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay. I didn't know that. I would hope that,
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: you know, in any marriage, you're like making an effort
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: to do the date night, especially after having a baby.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: And I appreciate that there is some open, transparent communication
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: being started.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: I agree with you, but I'm curious, how do you
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: feel about bringing up a hard conversation on a date night?
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Should date night be a place to have these conversations
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: or should date night be just a place to have fun?
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Well, you're not going to have fun if it's underneath
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: your being, your soul. I'm saying, obviously, I think that
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: this conversation could happen any night, but maybe this is
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: truly the one time where they're not with the baby,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: focused on the.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Baby, worrying about the baby.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: They're alone. Okay.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, that's fair. She said no. And I thought
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: we would be pregnant with another baby by now.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Wait, what?
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: So she's not happy because they don't have another baby.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: That's what it sounds like. Oh, no, honey. No.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: No.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: These people have to be Christian. They have to be Christian.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, I believe there's some kind of religious of
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: some sort. Yes. Mm hmm.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then he writes, what? Question mark. He said,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I wanted to scream at her and say, you don't
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: hardly do anything now with the one that we have.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: We have never talked about another baby. Oh, red flag.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: And I gently told her I was not ready. She said,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: you don't love me you don't care about me etc.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Oh well you know let's let's take us back to
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: our fucking infant 20s brains When we were 23, 24.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, was I probably wiser than this girl? Probably.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: But like, also, you know, who's to say?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I was a Christian at this time, so I was
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: not wiser. But then again, that goes to show you
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: my mentality.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I was willing to be in a cult.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Right. I was, I mean, at this time I had
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: broken up with a boyfriend who I had been with
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: for several years because he didn't want kids and I
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: wanted kids so bad.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: So crazy.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: And so we basically, I mean... He ended the one...
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: He's the one who ended it, ultimately. But I was, like,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: trying to make it work. But anyway, the point is,
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: even at that age, I could comprehend, like, being like,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: what do you mean you don't want kids? But also,
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: you just have... You have a baby. Like, an unplanned baby.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Isn't that good enough for now?
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I know. Especially if you've never talked about it. Like, that,
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: to me, is kind of crazy. Like, if you've never
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: spoken about it, and then your husband tries to have
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: a conversation about if you guys are happy, and you're like, actually, no, because...
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Because I don't have another baby?
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I have so many, like, sub-questions to this scenario.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: So many.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: And, I know, and thinking about the fact that she, like,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: feels like he's not doing enough. What's another baby going
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: to do to the relationship, to the mix?
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: But this is the thing. Like, they're not I'm thinking, especially...
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I don't think you're rational. Where do I start? I'm
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: having 12 contradicting thoughts all at once. I mean, again,
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: I think it partially lends itself to the conversation that
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: there's an unspoken conversation that happens with people when they
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: get married, when they're young. assuming they're going to have kids.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: That's like the baseline assumption generally. I mean, maybe it's
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: changing now. Thank God. But like when we were 20 something,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: it was like, oh, that's just like the path. You
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: get married, you have kids. So in her mind, she's
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: going down the path and especially if they're freaking Christian
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: or something too. I mean, then there's probably a whole
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: slew of like underlying assumptions about you having kids. It
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: goes with the territory. If there's something else, it'll come
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: back to me.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay. So he reassures her and he said, My
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: wife continued to make me feel horrible because I was
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: opposed to the idea of another child. I said, well,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: how many kids do you want and why do you
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: desire more?
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: Fair question to be having, but a little late. But
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: great question. Great question.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Great question, but I feel so bad that they're having
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: this question now. Your brain is not even fully formed
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: at this point.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: No, no. Well, I can't see the outline. You're breathing deeply.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: I'm a little worried about the answer. But I remembered
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: my second thought here before we go on this cliffhanger. Yeah,
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: go ahead. Which is the.
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: The drive, the societal drive, the internal drive, whatever you
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: want to call it, the maternal instinct, whatever, to say,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I want a baby no matter what the circumstances around
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: me are, is ludicrous. There is just no common sense
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: at all in this decision-making process. It is, I want
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: a baby. You're not even part of this equation, husband. Like,
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: I don't give a shit what you want. It's what
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I want, and it's on my time.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: But, like, to your point, like, sometimes I'll think, like,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I wish I was in a situation where I could
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: get another cat. I don't feel like we can because
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: I think my cat would hate having another cat. But
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: then I'm always like, why do I want another cat? Like,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I have a cat here at all times at my disposal.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: And so I'm always curious when people say that, like,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: what do you want from another baby that you're not
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: getting from this baby?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm. I think it's the dream. I think it's the
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: white picket fence. It's the two kids. It's the for
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: a lot of people. I mean, I think there's also
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: we've we've had episodes on Dinky where we've talked about
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: women who have had like this insatiable need after like
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: 12 children. And that's like a mental illness. But I
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: do think that there is this idea that your family's
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: not whole, you're not perfect until you have the full family.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: One kid is, you know, you get almost as much
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: shit about having one kid as you do about having
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: no kids.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: Life really is a prison. None of this is real.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: You really can't win. Okay, so he continues and says,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I was trying to get into the nitty gritty of
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: the why, as in the why she wanted more kids.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: And she burst into tears and said that all she
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: ever wanted is to be a mother. And she just
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: went to college because her parents made her. I hugged
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: her and I said, I'm sorry, but we have never
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: talked about a big family. So you have to understand
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: that this is very stressful for me to hear, as
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I never desired for kids, let alone more than one.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: But again, 23.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: 20, you know, you went to college together. You're idiots.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: You're morons. But how could you be on such wildly
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: different pages?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, that is one thing that's crazy to me because, like,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I do know when you're young, like, and you're, like,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: having these fantasies. Like, I think it's common to have
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: those fantasies together and be like, one day we're going
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: to live on a prairie.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: With a barn.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: And we're going to have a... You know, like, you're
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: having these fantasies with each other. Like, I'm surprised they never...
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: It sounds like they never talked to each other about it.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: I mean, I wonder... Yeah, I just wonder how much
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: of this was in... It's interesting that he's come to
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: these conclusions way before she has. Like, in terms of, like,
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: why do I want kids? Like, you know, he's asking...
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: the right questions that anybody's asking. And I think she's
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: going on what you're saying is the fantasy. It's what
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: her mom tells her is the perfect life. Her grandmother's
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: and her sister are all influencing her. Society's influencing her.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: And I mean, maybe that's genuinely her path, but for
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: her to have never brought that up and be like,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: I feel like if that was like your like goal
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: in life, if that was like your dream, like that
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: would be something you'd be thinking about and talking about
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: regularly with the person you've been dating for years. Yes. Yes. Weird.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: So weird. I know that this isn't going to make
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: any sense to you as somebody who doesn't watch The Office,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: but there's a scene in The Office where Michael Scott
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: is talking about he's talking to Holly, who ends up
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: becoming his wife, about this movie that he's making. And
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: he's like, this is like the most important thing in
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: my life. Like, she's like, you've never even brought this
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: up to me. He's like, well, I was going to
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: get around to it eventually.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's kind of how she was being.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: It's like, I was going to get around to telling
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: you that I want a million children eventually.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: I will say, like, in her defense, a little bit
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: because I'm not really on her side. But in her defense,
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: it is. Oh, fuck. I forgot my thought.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: So hard to have a podcast in very menopause with ADHD.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: I just need to write down my thoughts. No, I remember.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: In her slight defense, we're, as women, discouraged from bringing
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: some of these things up for fear of scaring the man. Right?
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Like. you know, when you're dating in your 30s, you're
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: not allowed to bring up, like, marriage or what you
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: want because you don't want to scare them away in
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: the first month. And then it's like, well, you don't
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: want to ask, like, are we an item? Are we exclusive?
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Because that would freak him out. So it's like, we're fucking, like,
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: trained as girls, women, to constantly shield our hopes and
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: desires for fear of pushing away the man. And it's
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: possible she, at some point, heard him say, like, He
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: doesn't want kids. That's not in his path. And she
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: didn't want to freak him out. So she suppressed it
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: and suppressed it. It is possible that she was just
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: didn't want to like lose the person she's in love
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: with and she didn't want to scare him. And she
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: was like, well, we're going to get married and eventually
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: he'll change his mind and whatever. But I hope this,
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: I hope everybody can learn these lessons from this couple.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: I know. Because this is not the way it should be.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I know. I mean, I hope that we have, because
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I know our audience is a little bit older, but
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: I hope that we're gaining an audience on YouTube of like,
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: younger people because I mean generally I feel like the
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: younger generation now like has more perspective on this stuff
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: but I do hope that people are hearing these stories
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: when they're younger because I mean we never heard this
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: shit when we were younger and I feel like it
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: would have changed a lot of people's lives to put
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: some pause in your mind that there is another way
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: yeah speaking of which I just saw a video from
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: a young person in The video I saw was like
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: a part two. She had made a video saying something.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I don't remember what. But all of the older women
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: in her comments were saying like, don't get married. Don't
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: have kids until you're much later. Like, I'm so glad
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: the younger generations are forgetting. And the girl made a
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: reaction video to that being like, wait. Why are all
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: these older women like warning me? Like, what do they
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: know that I don't know? And I was like, thank
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: God we have social media, dude. Like, it's so nice
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: to see younger women being like, oh.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: It's so nice to see the reaction of the woman
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: who posted something to critically question it based on another
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: person's opinion or other people's opinion or wiser people's opinion.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Like that, you don't see that side of the internet often.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Like often it's like a girl talking through the abyss.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: People will respond and then you just never hear. Then
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: the girl's like, well, I only want to hear what
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: I want to hear. So goodbye. So I love the
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: idea that this girl comes back and is like, oh,
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: what do they know that I do not?
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Totally. Okay. So it looks like we're we're about to
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: get into is the complete opposite of what we just
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: talked about because he says well i gave in like
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: a sap because she cried to her mother and grandma
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: this fucking mom and grandma i swear to god.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I think i Notice how common the narrative is for men,
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: at least on like in TV shows, movies, that as
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: soon as a woman cries, the man gives in no
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: matter what the circumstance, you know, like you cry in
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: front of a cop and the cop's like, fine, go
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: with the warning. You know, like, yeah, there's that stereotype
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: that men do not know what to do when women cry.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: And I am so intrigued by it because as someone
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: on beta blockers 24-7, my tears. I know. are a
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: desert yeah exactly so anyway i just find it interesting
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: that and not uncommon that this is the scenario where
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: the woman is you know this is my whole goal
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: i'm crying and then the guy's like oh shit i
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: don't know what to do i'll impregnate you again yeah
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: there's gotta.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Be a middle ground i know I mean, I think
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: that that's the problem with because granted, I'm in the
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: same boat as you because I have an IUD and
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I'm on Lexapro. So like it takes mountains to mountains.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I kept wanting to say Barbra Streisand.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: Barbra Streisand has never made me cry in my life.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: But it takes Barbra Streisand levels of emotion in order
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: for me to cry. But I do think that's part
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: of the problem with like men not being in touch
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: with their emotions because then anytime they're confronted with emotion,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: and I think that's crying, I think that's anger, I
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: think that's anything, they are just kind of like, I
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: don't know how to interact with this, so I'll just
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: give in. But it's like, if you just had a
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: little bit more emotional awareness, you'd be like, okay, crying
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: is a normal part of human life. Right, right, right.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Good point.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: And she can cry all she wants.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: She can cry all she wants. I won't feel a
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: goddamn thing. Mm-mm, mm-mm.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, after this conversation, he should have just cut
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: his penis right off.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Okay, I don't think that is the right reaction to
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: this situation, I think.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: You want to cry, bitch?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Okay. So she cried to her mother and grandmother and
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: they came over and convinced me that I should be
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: thrilled that my wife wants children. Here we go. Because
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: there are so many feminists today trying to protest having
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: children and advocating for abortion. And that is not what
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: God intended for women. So she comes from a religious family.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: Well, he's clearly, I mean, where's his parents in this?
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Where's his family?
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Great question.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: OK.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: First of all, I love that the fast forward 10
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: years later and he's messaging this story to pro-abortion liberal feminist.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Feminist women on the Internet who.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Are like, oh, God, like they drove a wedge.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. He says, You know, when you're young and impressionable,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: what can you do?
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. He said, Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: Heard this one before.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I don't say this with any events, and maybe I'll
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: cut this out, but we're going to wear the same
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: lip gloss, but different colors.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Double team.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: But men, men, isn't that funny too? They should sponsor
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: us because we are a double team.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: I love double team because we are a double tween. Tween.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Double tween.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Men really are easy to please.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I'm going to give you shit for that. I'm going
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: to give you shit for that. I think that On
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: the surface level, yes. It's very much about feeding the
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: male ego. Yeah. Making them feel loved. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: But men are fucking complicated ass bitches too. That's why
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: they cheat. It's not just because, you know, you could
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: have a nice girly at home who's clean, keeping the
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: house clean, doing all the fucking trad wife life, and
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: he'll still go and have sex with another woman. We're
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: looking at you, Jay-Z. I mean, come on. Shut up.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: Shut up, Jay-Z.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Okay. But, dot, dot, dot, when she was not pregnant
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: after the third month, she immediately wanted to see a
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: fertility doctor and told me I was not doing my part.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: This is part of the problem about getting pregnant so fast,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: because then you think that you can get pregnant that
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: fast every time. And I think people underestimate how hard
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: it is to get pregnant.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Biologically... But scientifically, it's not super easy.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: It's not that easy. Yeah. I also love I'm not
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: doing my part. You need to push more semen.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Out of your body. Yeah. What the fuck does that mean?
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I went along with it again, trying to make her
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: happy and got tested. When we arrived home from the dock,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: her dad was in the driveway and proceeded to sit
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: me down and talked about how his four children made
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: him a better man and how just having one child
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: is selfish. He's trying. He's trying. Why do you need
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: to have this sit down convo with him?
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure that this man needs to divorce his wife,
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: but he definitely needs to divorce her family because what
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: the absolute fuck? These people are fucking everywhere. They're in
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: their driveway. They're in the fucking kitchen. They're with grandma.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: They're with their sister. They're like, shut the fuck up.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: They're always around. Get out of my fucking house.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Literally, he needs to move to a new state.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Seriously, they're crazy. Like, They're crazy.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is unacceptable behavior. And I understand that they're
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: probably thinking like these people are in their 20s, they're
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: young and they're stupid, but they also decided to get married.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: So you need to back the fuck off.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. We got results back from the- Sounds like some
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Christian mentoring or some shit.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: 100%. We got results back from the doc that next week.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: And when she found out, oh no, my sperm was
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: fine and it was her, she hit social media hardcore,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: posting about infertility awareness. making sad videos with music in
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: the background of us at the doctor, making me look
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: like an idiot, and even showed a pic of me
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: as if I was crying, which embarrassed me. And I
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: asked her to take it down, as I don't like
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: this much attention, and she said no.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: This is her show, and he's just a side character
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: in it.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: He's just, yeah.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: He's a guest star.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: He's a guest star.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's so interesting because, I mean, I know
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: we're older and yada yada. But like I'm trying to
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: think even when I was in my early 20s and
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: like fucking social media was unhinged. Like I still didn't
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: really post like all over of like my boyfriend. And
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: I definitely wouldn't have posted like very vulnerable things on
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: the Internet. Like even when I was young and underdeveloped
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: and now as an adult, it's like I purposely leave
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: my husband out because he didn't even ask me to.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, it's not you. It's not your life.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: It's my life. It's on the Internet.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: A hundred percent.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: So I purposely do that.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I'll say before I address what you just said is
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: because this was a long sentence. I didn't finish it,
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: but he did say she said she wants everyone to
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: know how hard infertility is for men to blah, blah.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: But like, A, it was not real. So like you're
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: making him a case for how hard infertility is for
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: men when he doesn't even want this kid. And he's
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: not even consenting to being part of the content. And
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: once he says that he's not consenting, you're not willing
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: to take it down because you think that it's important
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: for people to understand that infertility is hard for men also?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, this is the, yeah, there's so many
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: red flags. The way you worded it made me feel
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: like when you said, oh, it's not real. I thought
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: you were going down the path of like, well, he
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: doesn't have infertility. She does. So therefore it doesn't matter.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: That's how I initially interpreted it. But I wish I
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: was going to disagree with. But anyway, yeah. I mean,
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: clearly this man's not upset.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: He's probably like in the back of his head. He's
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: probably like, thank God. Thank God. Yeah. Fertility. I know.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: 100%. My one baby.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's crazy. Maybe God exists because how else
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: would she not have any left after the first baby?
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: It's crazy that she was able to get pregnant so fast.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: I know. It was a miracle for her. And then
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: the second one is a miracle for him. I know.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: God really is with us all the time.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: God is good.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: I'm every woman.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know a single Barbra Streisand song.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: I know, me neither.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: Otherwise, I would sing it.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: But what I was going to say was that he said,
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: she even showed a pic of me as if I
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: was crying. And that's what I was saying was not real.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: As if I was crying. Oh, I see.
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: Wasn't even a real photo. No, it wasn't. She put
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: a tear on his face in Photoshop. And she's like, hmm.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: She made an AI.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: He's just like actually smiling, but there's just a river.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: This is fucking crazy, though. This is like truly batshit crazy.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Batshit crazy.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: This is all about me, me, me, me. And then
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: he's like, please don't post me in seemingly vulnerable positions
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: on the internet. And she's like, no, don't care what
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: you want.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Men need to know.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And I mean, it's so funny, too, to be
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: thinking about the men need to know how hard infertility
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: is without considering... the feelings of your own husband who
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: is real and standing before you. My God. Yeah.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Everyone else needs the benefit. Not this man. Every other man.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Not the one that I'm trying to get to impregnate me.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: She was feeding off all the attention she was getting
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: on social media about struggles. Someone set up a GoFundMe
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: to raise money for our treatments. Again, to what you
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: said earlier, this girl just wants attention. I think she's
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: addicted to the attention. And so she was like, I
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: didn't get the second baby, but this is even better.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: I really, I.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Don't want to say anything I'm going to regret. So
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: maybe I should stop now, but.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: It's okay. I'm not going to force it.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: No, I know. I don't know how I feel about it.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: I feel ambivalent because to me, GoFundMe's for IVF, like,
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: piss me off. Oh. That's like a personal thing. Like,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: you have one baby already, guys. Yeah. Can we just
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: be happy with what we got? Isn't that a good
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: Christian of you just to be happy with what you got?
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Now you're going to funnel thousands of dollars from people
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: in your life that could, you know, go back to
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: a child who's already on Earth. I know. You could,
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: you know, donate money to... a family that actually needs
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: help raising their kids or, you know, some type of
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: community that could really benefit. But instead, it's like, really,
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: we got to do this.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: We got to.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: Can't we just be happy with what we got?
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally agree with you. And I think that's
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: one of the things that's actually really funny about the
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: Christian community, because there actually is a riff within the
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Christian community around IVF. There are some sects or some
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: communities that are very pro-IVF and there are some that
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: are very anti-IVF. But it do be feeling like one
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: of those things that Christians should be against because it's
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: so expensive. And whenever you get an abortion, they're like, oh,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: you think you can play God? And it's like, aren't
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: you basically playing God?
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: The conundrums of the Christian faith befuddles me.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: But anyway, if you decide later on that you want
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: me to take that out, just let me know.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: All right. I think it's fine. Listen, the amount of
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: shit I've said on the internet already.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: That's one more. I mean, this is going to be
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: at least 40 minutes in. If someone's watching this long,
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: they've already tolerated enough. Again, I tried to reiterate how
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: blessed we are to have our daughter and how we
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: can just put all of our heart and soul into
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: making her life the best it can be. And there's
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: nothing wrong with just having one child. Isn't it funny
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: to think about where the fuck is the child in
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: all this? This mom is like posting all these fucking
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: videos and like crying around the house. I completely forgot
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: they even had a kid.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Little Chloe's like, Mommy, where are you?
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: You would have thought I told her I wanted a divorce.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: She became obsessed with going to the doctor every month,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: forcing me to eat certain foods and make love at
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: the weirdest hours of the day. When the moon was
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: in alignment with some planet in her chart, I was
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: completely stressed out and my heart kept saying, leave her.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Just pay child support for the one and leave. But
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: I guess I am a coward or I just felt
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: like I was in too deep and didn't want to
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: be responsible for her mental decline and or letting my
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: daughter down. I keep wondering if you're going to say something.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: So I'm pausing.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: But no, I don't think so. Keep going.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: I just thought as soon as she gets pregnant, maybe
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: this will end. Bestie. And I can finally have my
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: wife back. No, no. The woman I fell in love
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: with because she will finally have everything she wants. Two kids.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: I don't want to look like a jerk by leaving
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: her over this.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: Also, if you circle back to that date night when
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: he was like, hey, are you happy? And she's like, no,
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: I've always wanted a thousand children. It doesn't sound like
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: this bitch is going to be happy with two.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: No, especially because the dad was like, having four kids
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: is the best thing that ever happened to me. She's
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: going to want to keep having more kids.
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, this is like, I mean, listen, this man
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: realizes his mistakes now. It's like, listen, hindsight is 20-20,
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: you know? I know. Like, You always hoping for the best.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: We're always hoping for a miracle.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. I mean, that's part of the reason.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: I understand why. And props to him because I think
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: a lot of men don't have his perspective. But, you know,
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: he said, I don't want to look like a jerk
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: by leaving her over this. But like, you only have
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: one life, bro. You know, is this how you want
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: to live your life?
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: But you know what, dude? When you have like mommy, daddy, grandma,
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: sister all breathing down your fucking neck. Like, no wonder
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: you're brainwashed, just like the Christian thing, you know? Like,
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: it just takes a lot of people to say the
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: same shit over and over and over again. And then, like,
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: you start to believe, like, I'm the crazy one. I'm
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: the one who, you know, they're right and I'm wrong. Like,
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: I feel bad that he was put into this position.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do too. Fast forward, she finally got pregnant.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: and put on 150 pounds because she was convinced she
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: should be on bed rest the whole pregnancy. I mean,
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: I hate when people talk about weight gain for pregnancy,
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: but 150 pounds in a pregnancy is... That's dangerous.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Also, like, bed rest as in, like, for nine months
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: I just laid in bed and did nothing because, I mean,
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: how else could you put on that much weight? That
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: feels like a lot of weight. I know.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: And, like, also, like, I understand feeling like you need
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: to be... taking it easy if you deal with infertility
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: because you don't want to lose the baby. But being
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: on bed rest is also really hard on your body.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that doesn't feel healthy at any rate.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: And then how is she raising their child?
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Great question. Does he tell us?
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Then she started freaking out that I
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: was going to leave her because she gained weight. I
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: am so burned out having an eight-year-old girl screaming demands
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: at me because my wife doesn't discipline her when I'm
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: at work that her weight gain is the least of
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: my worries. Yeah. Now baby number two is here and
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: I haven't slept. She has colic. I have to get
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: up with her at night as my wife says she's
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: too tired. I finally snapped and said, you wanted, ooh,
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: you wanted another baby. Now you get up and take
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: care of her because you don't have to go to
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: work at 7 a.m. like me.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: Of course. I mean, it's not wrong.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: There's no winners in this game.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Everyone's losing.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: Of course I'm the bad guy now since I said that.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: She immediately called... Oh, no. She immediately called her mom
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: who came over at 2 a.m. and took the baby
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: and said I ought.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: To be a... This has got to stop. This has
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: got to stop. I'm at my wit's end with this family.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: It's been nine years. We're adults now. Now we have
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: fully formed brains. We got to stop with this. I'm
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: so over it. All right. I can't.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're in their 30s now.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: They're in their early 30s.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: What's happening?
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: Enough is enough. Enough is enough.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: She took the baby and said, I ought to be
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: ashamed of herself. Or no, I ought to be ashamed
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: of myself for talking to her like that. Okay.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: This family is like delusional as fuck. This family is
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: just like, you know, they clearly... Again, this guy is
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: a guest character in his own movie. He really is.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: Nobody cares about him and what his feelings are or
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: what he wants at all. And either he's not making
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: it known because he's scared or whatever stress, which I understand.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: But I just feel like it's time. It's time to
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: cut ties. Yeah.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, you got to set some kind of boundaries
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: because this is unacceptable, you know?
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: There was no reason even for the mom to come
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: over at 2 a.m. They're both perfectly capable of taking
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: care of the kid.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, great. I don't doubt that she's fucking tired.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: I don't doubt that she's, you know, recovering from, you know,
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: giving birth and all that and now was on bed
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: rest for nine months, which I can't even imagine also
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: what that did to your stamina.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: But like something, something's got to give.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: Something has to give. Kristen is fully losing her mind.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: I am done with this. I like I'm done. This
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: guy needs to leave. Sir, you got to leave. You
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: got to get out. You got to get out. I'm done.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Kristen's going to set up a GoFundMe GoFundMe for your divorce.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, because, you know, it's like some people stay in
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: situations because it's a sunk cost. You know, you got
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: to look up the definition of a sunk cost. Yeah,
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: you know, I've put years into this. You know, I've
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: only known this person. I've put years into this family. No,
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: you're going to look back 10 years from now and go,
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: I should have left then. I should have left 10
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: years ago. The best time was yesterday. The next best
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: time is today. Get the hell out.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: Wow. Look at her. She's got them hot takes.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Hot. All right.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: This is the first time we hear about his parents.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: And it's very brief. He says, my parents and I
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: are raising the kids while she has been resting for
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: nearly a decade.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: What the fuck?
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: This lady's honestly done it right. She's like, I'm going
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: to have kids and you're going to do everything. I'm
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: going to get back in bed, bitch. Yeah.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: And every time you get upset that I'm not doing anything,
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: I'm going to call mommy and daddy.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: Army of elders on speed dial. I'm very resentful towards
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: my second daughter, but not as resentful as I am
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: to my wife. I'm posting this because I want to
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: warn men not to get trapped. Have the conversation with
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: your partner about kids. And if you're not on board,
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: run while you can. Also, if her parents are overly involved, run.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: God, that is the biggest lesson from this.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: He wrote, by the way, he wrote that in all capitals.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in too deep. I fear I'm
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: going to snap soon and just walk out. I can't
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: believe he hasn't already.
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: Honey, honey, it's not a snap at this point. It's
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: 10 years of slowly descending into madness. And it would
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: be acceptable if you left. And honestly, you're raising the
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: kids anyway. So why not just like do it on
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: your own time. And then that way you can get
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: a break. A couple of days with the mom and
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: the mom has to, the mom and her family, God
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: knows they wouldn't be freaking involved. They can take care.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: And then you have no responsibility.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: And honestly, it sounds like that's what this family wants anyway,
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: is they just want to have an enemy. So you're
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: going to play the perfect enemy role in their story.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: You're going to give them... Fuel for decades.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess. Yes, but we already know the wife
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: does not want him to leave. The wife is like... Totally.
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: He said, I should have run years ago. I know
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: I brought another child into this world that I don't
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: even want because I decided to marry a princess and
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: was brainwashed into giving her everything she deserves. Let's not
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: shame princesses, though. I too am a princess. You are
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: a princess.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: What the hell? What is this? This is the pedestal
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: I never expected you to get on. Okay.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: I'm a princess. Are you not a princess?
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I've never really thought
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: about it. I think the point here is that, you know,
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: this woman thinks she deserves everything. You and I are
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: very realistic about what we deserve, I think. Everything. Alec,
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: I would never, like, lay in bed for nine months.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Well, you basically do. You basically live in your bed.
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: That's different. I'm different.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: You don't have kids. I'm smarter. You don't have kids.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: I'm better and I'm smarter.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: That's the difference.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: All right. Well, anyway, keep going.
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: She doesn't want to admit that she's a princess and
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: she lives in her bed.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: I do live in my bed.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: Okay, princess. I fear if I leave and she's forced
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: to do everything around the house, she won't be able
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: to handle it. Well, she's going to have to learn
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: at some point. She has 70 family members.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: She's got fucking mom and dad living in their fucking
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: back pocket. They'll be fine.
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Hire a fucking nanny or a housekeeper. It's fine.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's very sweet that this man is like
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: taking full, you know, he clearly has a lot of
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: love for this woman, but, you know, and worried about her.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: But like, c'est la vie. Worry about yourself.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Okay. I'm a little confused. She hasn't been driven anywhere
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: in two years. So has she not left the house
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: in two years?
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: She hasn't been driven anywhere in two years. Okay, keep going.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Her parents come over and talk to her around like
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: she is royalty and expect me to do the same.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: This is not a marriage. This is a grown man
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: who has three daughters and never even wanted one. Where
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: are the three daughters coming from?
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: The dad, this is the grandpa. His wife's dad.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Who has three daughters and never.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: And he's got four kids, so three daughters.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: But he says never wanted one.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: Maybe he never wanted one. Maybe that was the conversation was,
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: I didn't want one, but maybe become a better man
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: and it's a good thing and you should have kids.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, he brought it out of nowhere. I wish
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: I wasn't such a coward and whatever it was years ago.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: Now I'm on here hoping that someone in the comments
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: will say something that will open my eyes so I
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: can make the right decision going forward.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: I mean, I've already screamed a hundred times in this episode. So,
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: you know my POV, sir.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Sir, sir, sir.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: Life is long. Life is long. And if you leave now,
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: you got your whole life ahead of you. You're in
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: your early 30s coming from someone, women who are 39.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Early 30s, you got a whole goddamn... Your 30s are
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: like your best years. It's time to leave. Time to leave.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: Enjoy them. Don't get sucked in again. And get a
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: goddamn vasectomy. If you haven't got a vasectomy by now, sir.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: I don't know what to tell you.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, I was telling him to cut his penis
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: off earlier, but definitely a vasectomy.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: Would do it. I think a vasectomy is probably the
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: better option. Even medium. Yeah.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: I thought of something that I was going to say,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: and now I lost it. Oh! I was going to
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: say one thing that I feel like I'm that's really
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: finally starting to sink in for me in my late
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: 30s is. And maybe this is particularly a female thing,
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: but I think it's true for everyone. We are so
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: socialized to be afraid of being the bad guy. Sometimes
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: you got to be the bad guy. And being the
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: bad guy in someone else's story doesn't mean that you're
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: the bad guy in your own story. You know?
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I don't see that. I don't. I
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: don't see any win by staying with this woman. I
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: see no win. To me, it sounds like it's been
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: a hell of a 10 years and it's been pretty shitty.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: And I literally do not understand what you're gaining out
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: of it. Like I said, if you get divorced, you
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: take care of the kids for a couple days a
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: week and then it passes back to the wife and
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: it's her and her family to deal with. Like, That
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: to me is a win. Get out. Find somebody who
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: loves and supports you and who's going to be, you know,
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: who's excited about having to help raise your kids and
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: wants to be present and available. And you could like
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: do this all over again, but get it right.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, I also think I mean, the bad thing is,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: is that like when he leaves, that woman is going
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: to be talking shit about him to the kids all
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: the time. And she's probably going to brainwash the kids
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: into thinking that he sucks. But I also think on
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: another level, like it's important to demonstrate to your kids
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: like what a healthy relationship looks like and how to
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: deal if your relationship is not healthy and is not
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: serving you.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: You know, I just think, too, as like these kids
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: get older, they're going to come up to come up
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: with their own conclusions, regardless.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: And who's to say that the mom's not already doing
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: that to the kids? Like, you know?
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: That's true. Yeah, the grandma for sure is.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: It seems like everybody's pitted against him. So it's like,
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: is he getting accolades now? I don't know. Yeah.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: Well, what a fucking joy this has been.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: Wow, what a ride. What a ride.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: If you're watching this as a regretful parent who has
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: a story of your own, reading this as an exclusive
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: brought us so much joy. You, too, can do the
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: same if you email us your story to dinky at dinkypod.com.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: We would love to read it.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: And, sir, if you're listening, I'm going to be the
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: loudest comment in the comment section right now. It's time
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: to go. Time to get a vasectomy and time to leave.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: It'll all work out. It's scary, but it'll work out.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: Well. On that note, Erica, what do we say?
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: Don't get pregnant.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: Don't get pregnant.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: We really need to make don't get pregnant merch. Guys,
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: if you want don't get pregnant merch, tell us in
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: the comments. We should be wearing don't get pregnant on
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: every episode.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: You're right.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: Everyone will want to buy it.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: We should.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Okay. Don't get pregnant.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Don't get pregnant.