Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / Autism Burnout 5 Signs You ARE Masking

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Autism Burnout 5 Signs You ARE Masking · Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD

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  Autumn burnout. Here are five ways that I can
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  tell you're actually masking and actually it's burnout, but
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  you're masking it. This is super interesting and
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  it's a doozy. OK guys, what's going on?
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  Welcome back to the Aspy world. My name is Dan.
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  I have autism, ADHDOCD, and dyslexia.
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  Animate weekly videos all about this.
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  So if you're new around here and you want to learn more, remember
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  to hit that subscribe button by clicking the notification bell
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  down below. I actually might get my slogan
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  printed on a T-shirt. Autism, ADHDOC, dyslexia.
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  I don't know if you think that's a good idea.
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  Just come and double and be like, damn, it's a good idea.
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  OK, so a lot of people will be entering burnout, but they don't
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  know that by masking it actually makes it worse.
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  And then you'll enter a full blown.
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  And this is almost particularly more difficult for females in
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  the autism spectrum because females in the autism spectrum
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  are masters, are masking and doing all of that stuff.
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  So these five points are going to just blow your mind.
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  Buckle up. This is super awesome.
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  Oh, and by the way, if you're an autistic person watching this
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  and you want to increase your confidence level and like build
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  more energy and lower the anxiety, then I have a free
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  program you can download completely for free right now.
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  Just go to www.bulletproofbrain.org right
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  now and download it for free. Or you can click the link in the
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  description of this video or I'll link it somewhere on
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  Facebook too. OK, so number one is telling
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  people that you're fine even when you're truly not doing
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  well. It's kind of like you could be
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  dying inside. You'd be dying of crippling
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  anxiety. You don't spend another second
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  talking to another human being or seeing any more nonsense in
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  the world. As I was like, how are you
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  doing? You're like, I'm absolutely
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  fine, thank you. How are you?
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  Just no, this is an indication that you're burning out.
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  If you're not truthfully saying how you were doing, this means
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  that you're masking how you're doing.
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  And if you're masking, that means you're burning out.
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  OK, because masking is a survival technique and I talk
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  about this in my book Autism for Adults.
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  And FYI guys, if you have read it, thank you so much.
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  If you haven't, you can go and get it.
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  It's a bestseller. And Autism for Adults, I talk
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  about how I use masking in school to cope with certain
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  things, you know, especially with like trying to socialize
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  with kids, especially with a lot of your kids.
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  And it was so interesting that like, I realised that I would do
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  this more when I was burning out because when you're burning out,
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  you have less energy to expend, but you want to give the facade
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  or the mask or the appearance that, hey, I've got it under
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  control. And the thing about it is that
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  people will be like, how are you doing?
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  And you know, your whole house could be on fire, like
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  everything is going wrong. And you'd be like, I'm fine
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  inside. You're dying.
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  And I get it. Like you're trying to not, it's
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  called saving face, I think in a neurosyphical sense.
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  But what I'm trying to say is that like, you know, everybody
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  masks to a certain degree, neurotypical and neurodivergent.
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  But what I'm trying to say here is that autistic individuals,
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  especially females, are more proactive when masking things
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  like this, whereas autistic males would be less productive
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  and more reactive. And like, they'd try to mass,
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  but then they'd react to it. They'd be angry, but like, no,
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  everything's terrible. You know, they're just kind of
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  like, emotionally outburst. And so it's really interesting.
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  Females will probably get this. Yeah, a lot harder than it.
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  And this is it. If I just called you out, if
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  you're at the end of your Italian, you're fine.
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  You have to give the zero thumbs up.
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  I just called you out. OK.
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  So #2 is agreeing to everything, to everyone.
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  You could be literally like, at the end of your tether.
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  And people are like, hey, we're going to get coffee after work.
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  You come in your back. Yeah, absolutely.
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  Julie, I'll be there. No worries.
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  What are you doing? What are you on about?
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  All you want to do is go home and cry in your pillow and down
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  an entire bottle of wine, smash a pizza and watch every episode
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  of Love Island there is on Netflix.
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  That's what you want to do because you're burning out.
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  You're you've used all that energy.
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  You have no dopamine left. You have no energy left.
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  You're just like, I am done, right.
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  And then, you know, the squad from work's like, we're all
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  going for cocktails. You come in and you're like,
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  yeah, of course. What what are we doing here?
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  I've done, I've done this to myself.
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  I just all I want to do is come home and just absolutely just
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  collapse. Yeah.
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  Somebody says like, you know, you should really come out with
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  this and grab a coffee. We're going to, we're also
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  getting some sandwiches. I'm like, yeah, I'm down.
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  Let's go, let's try, you know, and inside everything inside you
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  is like, I don't want to do this.
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  This is not me. I don't want to participate in
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  this. I don't want to go there.
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  And it happens. Hey, if you are interested in
• 4:03
  having one-on-one personal coaching by me on your autism
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  and ADHD, then all you need to do is go to the link in the
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  description down below. If you're watching on Instagram,
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  you can just comment the word coaching and I'll DM it to you
• 4:14
  automatically. Or you can just go to
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  theasburyworld.com/coaching and you can fill out the form and we
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  can start working together. I've got lots of requests like
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  this. I just wanted to put it in this
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  video. OK, guys.
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  And it's because you're burning out.
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  It's because you're close to burning out.
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  And when you're close to burning out, you kind of start losing
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  the self boundaries that you implemented for yourself and
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  things become more about just surviving in that moment rather
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  than actually looking at the bigger picture.
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  The bigger picture is you don't want to go there, you shouldn't
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  go there. You want to go home, chill out,
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  and do what you need to do to preserve that energy.
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  OK, so #3 is coming up with more ideas for things to do even
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  though your list is extensive. This is so interesting.
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  Autistic individuals when they are burning out will then come
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  up with more things to add to a list of burnout.
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  You'd be like, oh, I've got this list of 10 things to do.
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  Oh my God, I'm so burned out. And they'd be like, and I need
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  to wash the car and I need to take the kids to get new
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  uniforms fitted and I need to sign up for archery classes and
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  I need to finish my book and I need to buy a new phone and, and
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  I need to send all those papers away for you.
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  Just start adding things on. What is up?
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  What are we doing here? It's because it's kind of in for
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  a penny in for a pound idea. When you get to the level of
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  burnout where you're you're burning out and you're like
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  you're you've exhausted all energies, all kind of logical
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  thought process, You just start adding in things.
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  Yeah, another one. Just add another one in.
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  Buckaroo's done. The count's kicked back.
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  Everything's all over the floor anyway.
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  Just add more mess to the fire. Why not?
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  And this is so funny because you should be doing the the contrary
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  to this. You'll be taking things off your
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  load list, but you're adding things on.
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  We said that adding things on. I I know I can see you.
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  I can see you doing this. You smiling behind the screen
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  here. I can see you doing this.
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  It's so interesting where we have so many things to do, it's
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  burning us out and we add more things to that list anyway #4 is
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  feeling guilty for no reason OK? When you're burnt out, all of a
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  sudden you're going to start feeling guilty for stuff that's
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  not even related to you. Some people be like, Oh no, I
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  was riding my bike earlier through town and I fell over and
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  you'd be like, Oh my God, this is so my fault.
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  What are you talking about? You have nothing to do with
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  person X who's a third party in this situation, riding their
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  bike in town away from you and crashing it.
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  But you'll feel guilty for it. You'll start feeling guilty of
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  things that don't even make sense.
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  So you'll be like, oh man, I feel guilty now.
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  I should have spent more time with my my grandmother when she
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  was alive. I should have spent more time
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  with my dog. Oh my God.
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  Admitting you just kind of just start feeling guilty for things
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  that you shouldn't be even feeling guilty about the
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  nonsensical things because what you're happening is your mind is
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  so overwhelmed and overstimulated that it's burning
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  out and it starts throwing out just weird negative involuntary
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  things to just kind of get a hold of you.
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  And I don't know why this is, it's so interesting, but it's
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  also extremely detrimental. This is a good indication that
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  you need to access brakes and you need to have a century
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  decompression. Because when you're at this
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  level, when you are adding random ass things to an already
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  huge To Do List that's making you burnout and then you start
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  feeling guilty for random ass stuff, it's time to take a
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  break. Can we please just take a break?
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  OK. And the last one, number 5 is
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  you increase and it goes off the charts.
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  Your RSD and RSD is the rejection sensitive dysphoria,
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  which is very common in autistic and ADHD people and Audi HD,
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  which people have put both together.
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  We have RSD because we've been kids who grew up being wrong
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  about everything. When we're adults, we always
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  think of default. We're going to be wrong about
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  stuff where we have this rejection sensitivity and I
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  don't want to ask anything because I'm going to be wrong
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  anyway. I'm going to get rejected.
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  And so this goes off the charts. When you're burning out, you're
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  like, you feel rejected from everything.
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  You feel inadequate, you feel super inferior with everything
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  and it's sucks. Like the house is on fire and
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  you're telling people you're OK. No, if these are being displayed
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  in your life right now, this is an indicator, A surefire
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  indicator that you need to take a break right now, detach from
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  it and just really take a step back.
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  I actually have a how to fix burnout and three days
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  challenge. If you're interested, you can go
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  to theaspbworld.net right now and make sure you go to dot net
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  as well because it's a different website and you can take the
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  three day challenge and within three days you'll learn way more
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  about handling your burnout. It's fascinating.
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  Actually, it's three main points that will help you, but that's
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  super interesting. Anyway, guys, any questions?
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  Swap it down below. Give this video a thumbs up.
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  What is going on with my hair? Peace.