Latest / Three Damned Dudes / Episode 17 - Nonsense and tomfoolery

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Episode 17 - Nonsense and tomfoolery · Three Damned Dudes

• 0:36
  The Three Damn Dudes podcast is brought to you by Rifle and
• 0:39
  Ratchet Refinishing. Located in Taylor, MI, Rifle and
• 0:42
  Ratchet is a veteran owned and operated shop providing seracote
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  and laser engraving services. Whether it's rust, corrosion,
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  Their goal is to make your dream a reality to shoot.
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  But it's not just firearms, it's also automotive parts, game
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  controllers, golf clubs, really anything you can fit in the
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  oven. Their goal is to make you say
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  wow when it comes out of the case.
• 1:08
  What's up nerds? Welcome to whatever the fuck
• 1:11
  episode this is of the Three Damn Dudes podcast.
• 1:15
  And I say that because I think I was mentally an episode off in
• 1:19
  the last episode and said that we were going to do our first
• 1:23
  fourth damn dude shout out in episode 17, which.
• 1:28
  This episode 16. No, hang on.
• 1:35
  I gotta look AM. I off by 1.
• 1:39
  Last week was episode 16, so this would be episode 17.
• 1:43
  Oh shit, OK. So yeah, I was, I was a whole
• 1:47
  fucking week off because last week I said two weeks we were
• 1:49
  going to do that. But you know, based on, based on
• 1:54
  how numbers works, I made myself a liar.
• 1:58
  So I own that and again, we have all three of us here and beads
• 2:05
  his ass, Yeah. As soon as we as soon as we
• 2:09
  started recording, he hopped up. He knows.
• 2:12
  He knows. He didn't fucking know last
• 2:13
  week, yeah. I'm surprised he's in here
• 2:18
  because Maddie's here, so it's I'm surprised he wants anything
• 2:25
  to do with me. I know she.
• 2:28
  Knows he has to be present for the episode.
• 2:31
  She must not be giving him any. Love Perez, Ant.
• 2:36
  All right, boys. What's everybody drinking?
• 2:41
  Nothing. Gavin.
• 2:42
  Gavin. Let me guess.
• 2:43
  Let me guess. Is it Miller Lite?
• 2:46
  It's Ranger. Fucking water.
• 2:50
  Holy shit. Because I hate my life.
• 2:55
  What else? I mean, why?
• 2:56
  What's going on? That ties into my recap, so we
• 3:02
  can get into it there. Very well, Jimmy, you said
• 3:05
  you're drinking nothing. Yeah.
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  Brother, you need to hydrate or you're going to die.
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  At least that's what 11 years in the Marine Corps told me.
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  Yeah, go get that fucking pint glass of milk that you always
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  drink. I thought about it.
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  I thought about it because we have new coffee Creamer and
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  yeah, thought about it, but I'm good.
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  Does that not tear your stomach up?
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  Milk. No.
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  I'm a fucking man, dude. I'm a fucking milk bro.
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  I can handle fucking milk. I think thank you was
• 3:43
  referencing putting the coffee Creamer in it.
• 3:47
  No, it's just a little extra dairy in my dairy.
• 3:50
  Yeah, you like a side of milk with your dairy.
• 3:53
  Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that.
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  It's pretty good. It's like you only a little bit.
• 3:59
  If you put too much in it, it overpowers it.
• 4:01
  It's not like coffee where you could use a little a good amount
• 4:05
  to make it taste good and only you only need a little bit and
• 4:08
  some milk and it and it really changes the flavor profile of
• 4:11
  the milk. See, you keep saying the word
• 4:14
  need and I'm not sure that you'd need coffee, Creamer and milk.
• 4:21
  All right. Listen, yeah, that's not
• 4:24
  something I would have ever thought to do before you told us
• 4:27
  about I'm still. Probably not.
• 4:29
  Going to do it. Once you have it and then you're
• 4:33
  like, wow, this is this really steps my milk game up because
• 4:38
  like, honestly, who has a regular glass of milk?
• 4:41
  You know, who's like, you know what?
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  I could go for a fucking glass of just regular asshole milk
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  right now. You know, like you got a
• 4:48
  regular. Asshole milk.
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  Regular asshole, you know I'm going to run through AII want to
• 4:57
  I want to get to the bottom of this a Bluetooth thing, because
• 5:01
  this is driving me that's. The thing I don't think I know
• 5:04
  any adults that will just like sit and drink a glass of milk.
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  Like, I was always a big thing fucking like growing up where
• 5:11
  it's like, oh, you got to have milk to, you know, grow big and
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  strong. But like when you turn to an
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  adult. You never seen the pictures of
• 5:21
  them with the white mustache and the magazines and stuff?
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  That was. When I was a kid.
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  Well, yeah, hold on. Time out.
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  Think I was looking at different magazines.
• 5:40
  On that note, you guys are ready to get into the recaps.
• 5:44
  I don't know if I thought Jimmy was about to fucking do a bit
• 5:48
  with AI. I want to, I want to pin that
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  until after we get through the recaps because we've got a whole
• 5:55
  bunch of nothing fucking topics to to cleanse the palate from
• 5:59
  last week's episode. Yeah.
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  OK, fair enough. It sounds like somebody is
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  upstairs in my house. Are you alone?
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  You live with other people. I they're in Florida.
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  Oh. Don't you have dogs?
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  I do, but dogs don't sound like bipedal terrorists stomping
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  around on the fucking floor. You know what?
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  I've got a story for you. I have a really good story for
• 6:28
  you about this. The same thing happened to me
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  and I almost died. If I would have made one wrong
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  decision, I am, I would have died.
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  So I used to live with my aunt in Dearborn and my aunt was in a
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  wheelchair and she was not, you know, mobile in the sense where
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  you could walk around. And it was me, my aunt and my ex
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  wife's daughter who would have been like maybe 2 at the time,
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  right. And I'm downstairs in the
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  basement and I'm hearing, all of a sudden I hear boots on the
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  ground, like on upstairs, like, you know, you know, you can tell
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  the difference between boots and there were boots on the floor.
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  I'm like, why are there boots on the floor upstairs?
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  So I grabbed my Beretta and I tuck it in my back, you know,
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  and because like, it didn't look like anybody was home.
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  So I, I assumed somebody had broken in or something like
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  that. My aunt was also notorious for
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  keeping the door open. I'm locked.
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  So I had my Beretta and I tucked it into my back, my waist, my
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  waistband behind me. Thank fucking God.
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  Thank God I didn't come up with it.
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  You know, it was the cops, It was like 4 of them.
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  And my my aunt had this life alert button that had I, I want
• 8:11
  to see if I can find a picture so I can really, really bring it
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  justice for you guys. She had this life alert and its
• 8:20
  docking station looks like a toy.
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  And let me see if I can. So it had a big red light and A
• 8:34
  and a Big Blue light here I found it.
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  Let's see here screen window. It looks like a toy, right?
• 8:50
  You got the big red button and the Big Blue button and Pastela
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  hit the big red button and tried to order a cheeseburger.
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  And so the police responded to a phone call, an emergency phone
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  call from a young child saying she's hungry, she wanted food.
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  So I go upstairs and there's four cops.
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  I go. Can I help you, gentlemen?
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  And they told me. And then we realized what had
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  happened. And we all had a good laugh.
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  And I never revealed that I had a Beretta tucked into my
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  waistband behind me. Cuz I wouldn't have been part of
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  this podcast. I don't think if that weren't
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  happened you wouldn't have been part.
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  Of a lot of things, yeah. Man, I forgot about those.
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  Also Jimmy, who the fuck uses Bing as their search engine?
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  OK, so you get. So let me tell you, I saw.
• 9:58
  That and it bothered the fuck out of me.
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  Let me let me explain to you the reason why I use Bing.
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  Bing has a reward system which ties into your Microsoft
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  account. So every time you search you get
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  10 points right? And when you get enough
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  searches, so like for example, once I get about 10,000 points,
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  I can redeem that for a $10 Microsoft gift card.
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  So I can basically get Xbox Live or Xbox game cards or gift
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  cards. I mean just by using Bing as my
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  search history or my search engine I mean.
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  I understand it, but it doesn't mean I like it.
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  One. One question, one statement.
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  The statement is, I feel like you could automate that with the
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  script and you could just be rolling in fucking cards.
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  The question is, do you also hate freedom and democracy?
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  What is the alternative? Google.
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  Literally anything else. Anything else?
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  Over Microsoft. Yes, because fuck Microsoft.
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  Because of Bill Gates. No, just because it's a shitty
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  fucking company. Just has Fox, yeah.
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  Yeah, I'm going to go cry into my PS-5 controller now.
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  You know, my, my, my PlayStation 5 is a Netflix machine and
• 11:38
  that's it. The, the, the PlayStation
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  controller is just inferior to the, to the Xbox control.
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  Actually, you know what, I'm going to take that back because
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  the PlayStation 5, their controller has really outdone
• 11:54
  themselves and it is cool. Like the, the reactive triggers
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  and stuff, that's cool as fuck. So I take it back.
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  But the way an Xbox controller feels in my hands as opposed to
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  a PlayStation controller, I just can't.
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  I would so much rather game with an Xbox controller than a
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  PlayStation controller. I've always been that way.
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  I mean, listen, it's OK to be wrong and I'm not going to hold
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  that against you. And plus, Playstations are for
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  people with no friends because they shine.
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  Says the guy that games with me. They see the PlayStation shines
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  in single player games, the Xbox shines in multiplayer games.
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  See, that's why I just have a computer.
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  Or the Xbox. Eight player games.
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  So does Steam. So is my computer.
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  Well, yeah, now I have a computer too, but obviously.
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  I used to have a fucking podcast.
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  I used to have a badass computer.
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  RIP to that. We think your ex-wife sucks.
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  I used to have a fucking badass computer.
• 13:01
  Oh hang on, Bluetooth is connected?
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  All right, I'm going to need you to translate in real time.
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  I'm going to need you to learn Spanish so you can tell me
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  what's going on. So lately nothing's been
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  happening. It just says Bluetooth connected
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  and then that's it and then. So does that mean that they're
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  hearing you now? God I fucking wish we're coming
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  through their TV that. Would be really funny.
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  I hate it and and like, so that's that was going to be that
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  was going to be what I want to I want to figure out why it's
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  doing that because still right now, just so you know, so we've
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  debunked your theory. Bluetooth is disabled on my
• 13:46
  laptop. Hey, hey, Jimmy, open up your
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  phone and go to just just open up your Bluetooth settings real
• 13:54
  quick where you can see all of the things.
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  Gavin, you do this too. And then go all the way down to
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  the available devices and just do me a favor and tell me what
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  you see down there. I don't see anything.
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  Oh. My webcam is on there.
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  PX Zumo XR100. Connect to it because what I see
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  in available devices is F993 well.
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  See, fuck you. So this whole time you gaslit?
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  Me. You gaslit me the whole goddamn.
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  Time. That was a weeks long joke,
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  ladies and gentlemen. You're a bitch.
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  That's not on my list. I have a weird one.
• 15:01
  It says PX zumo XR100. I do not have F993.
• 15:07
  Though you should connect to it, see what happens.
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  I tried it says pairing unsuccessful.
• 15:12
  Damn fuck, what a loser. Lame Rod.
• 15:17
  Yeah, I don't. I really don't know.
• 15:22
  Yeah, so fun fact, apparently these shit ass boxes do have
• 15:25
  Bluetooth. Do you actually have the ability
• 15:28
  to connect to F993? I don't know, let me see.
• 15:33
  It showed that on mine. Also a thing, yeah.
• 15:42
  Oh God, I'm so I'm connected but I'm not plugged into the box
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  like you are. Yeah.
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  So I don't hear, I don't get the Bluetooth connected thing, but
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  yeah, all right. So haha, joke's over.
• 15:58
  I wonder if I can. I wonder what happens if I
• 16:01
  unplug this real quick. Hang on.
• 16:06
  It would probably just be unplugged.
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  I don't know. God damn your device changed,
• 16:14
  now I got to stitch these tracks together.
• 16:23
  I'm just going to do this several 100 times and see what
• 16:28
  happens. All right, hang on, let me see.
• 16:30
  That is obscenely loud. Connected again.
• 16:33
  Hang on. Let's see.
• 16:34
  All right. It's not connected to my phone,
• 16:36
  though. It's connected to whatever.
• 16:39
  What are you talking through right now?
• 16:43
  Oh God. It's gotta just be like, his the
• 16:50
  only laptop, right? Yeah, he's just the laptop.
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  Like that's why we can hear the fucking clicky clacks.
• 16:57
  Yeah, the Spider Man. I gotta leave and join back in I
• 17:00
  think. God, I love you, Pie.
• 17:05
  Where are you like this? My God and.
• 17:09
  We're not editing any of this out because because no, fuck it.
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  No, the the secret, the secret goal of this episode was to give
• 17:20
  our editor, who shall remain nameless, the biggest fucking
• 17:25
  headache trying to edit this episode.
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  He's going to. That's a nice thing.
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  Yeah, he's going to have a lot. Of invoice.
• 17:38
  Splicing all this together. I'm sure the invoice he sends us
• 17:42
  is going to be the same as it always is for this fucking
• 17:45
  episode. Jimmy, welcome back.
• 17:53
  All right, Why are you sound like you're talking really fast?
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  Fucking what? What?
• 18:00
  Are you talking about? I talked normal for a second
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  because now I'm freaking out. That was really weird for me.
• 18:12
  You sounded like Ben Shapiro dude with how fucking fast you
• 18:14
  were talking about. I don't know, it was some glitch
• 18:17
  as soon as I joined in. Ah, well, did you figure out
• 18:22
  what you were trying to figure out?
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  I don't even remember what I was trying to figure out to be
• 18:25
  honest. All right, that's fair.
• 18:28
  Let's get into the fucking rehab.
• 18:32
  That gives you a preview of how this episode's going to go,
• 18:35
  ladies. And yeah, it's.
• 18:36
  Going to be great and actually I have an idea and we'll get into
• 18:41
  that after the recap, but. That's not a fun thing to hear.
• 18:45
  Fuck that playset. I'm so tired of building that
• 18:50
  goddamn playset. It's been like 2 weeks and it's
• 18:54
  been bullshit. All 75 of my trees.
• 18:59
  I have a shipping label now and tracking information for him so
• 19:03
  that's super neat. So I'm going to spend a lot of
• 19:06
  time outside this weekend and the fun segue there is fuck
• 19:12
  allergies and fuck when allergies turn into a sinus
• 19:15
  infection. Because last night ended this
• 19:19
  morning. I like had my sexy radio
• 19:22
  operator voice and this was like the only way I could fucking
• 19:25
  talk because my my my mouth holes just didn't just fucking
• 19:29
  work. It was great.
• 19:32
  And now I'm back to kind of normal.
• 19:34
  Hell yeah, brother, but it. Sucks and I hate it.
• 19:39
  I guess the spring is finally starting to hit you guys.
• 19:43
  Oh yeah. Welcome to it.
• 19:50
  I fucking take it back. I don't have a problem with it
• 19:56
  like the. Only.
• 19:57
  Person in my family that doesn't have allergies and there's.
• 20:01
  You get up here and you bring a giant ass vacuum and you suck
• 20:04
  all this tree come out of the fucking air and you take it to
• 20:07
  Arkansas. I am tired of it.
• 20:11
  We don't. Even have plenty here.
• 20:14
  What Jimmy? We don't even have leaves on our
• 20:17
  trees yet. Right.
• 20:19
  Let alone fucking tree come fucking don't work the outside
• 20:28
  with his mouth open trying to catch some.
• 20:35
  Oh, I can't wait until he messages me with that.
• 20:41
  How are you going to talk shit about our first?
• 20:44
  Organic fan. Less than 20 minutes into the
• 20:48
  fucking episode. You don't understand.
• 20:53
  I we talk, we talk a lot of shit to each other.
• 20:59
  Good. He's a family fisherman and I
• 21:02
  went to Cabela's and they've got this whole room for fly fishing.
• 21:08
  Like it's a whole, it's a nice little like cabin aesthetic type
• 21:12
  thing. And I looked at him, I was like,
• 21:15
  dude, that's so crazy. 2026 and Cabela's finally built the bride
• 21:20
  room. Look at this shit.
• 21:31
  Usually he'll send me like a middle finger or he'll give it
• 21:33
  back, but just we just damn thing.
• 21:39
  Hell yeah. All right, Jimmy, what do you
• 21:41
  got for a recap? Do I have a recap for you guys?
• 21:48
  I don't remember. Mine's just sad.
• 21:57
  Well, there's a little bit of a Yeah, You, you see it?
• 22:03
  I love how you say it's sad. I start laughing and Gavin's
• 22:07
  like. So well, let's let's do the
• 22:15
  happy, happy one first is so Luke, me and Luke are trying to
• 22:21
  think of think of something cool to do.
• 22:24
  I'm going to take my 4:50 in and I think he's we're talking about
• 22:29
  engraving this deer into into the rifle.
• 22:34
  So well, yeah, nice. So I'm excited about that and
• 22:39
  I'm going to have him, I'm going to have him do some work to it a
• 22:44
  little bit to make a couple improvements on it.
• 22:49
  So I'm excited, but that'll be cool.
• 22:52
  I sent him a picture of the mount.
• 22:53
  So I don't, I don't know what we're going to do with it yet.
• 22:56
  Basically, we're going to go around his schedule because I
• 22:58
  know he's been a busy guy lately.
• 23:01
  I'm also excited to see what we can come up with for our logo.
• 23:07
  But anyway, so I don't remember what I was doing, but I was
• 23:12
  minding my own business. And I just hear, I hear baby.
• 23:27
  And I go what? And she goes, you need to do
• 23:32
  squats. I'm like, why?
• 23:41
  And she's like your ass like it's not.
• 23:50
  And I don't even remember what she said.
• 23:52
  And I was like, I cut her off. I'm like, no.
• 23:55
  And she's like, and then she pulls out a fucking notepad and
• 24:01
  starts trying it and she's trying look like that fucking
• 24:11
  viral picture of Miley Cyrus in that freaking tight ass.
• 24:18
  You know what I'm talking about. Where I made her look, she had a
• 24:20
  rotisserie chicken ass. That's what the picture looks
• 24:24
  like. And yeah, so I need to, I need
• 24:29
  to do some squats or lunges or something, whatever, whatever
• 24:32
  can bring some shape back to my glutes because man, I used.
• 24:36
  To. In the wrestling days, I when I
• 24:40
  had when I was in wrestling, I had a nice fucking ass dude and
• 24:45
  now I now apparently I don't. You know, I used to be double
• 24:50
  cheeked up and now I'm just not. It used to be thick.
• 24:57
  Yeah, it used to be thick in all the right places and now I just
• 25:01
  have fucking big tits and no ass.
• 25:05
  Not good. It's not good.
• 25:13
  Yeah, that's all I got for me for for a recap, unfortunately.
• 25:20
  That's fair. Gavin, what do you got?
• 25:29
  I don't have a ton. Finished maxing out all my
• 25:35
  compound lists last week and finally started my new like
• 25:41
  powerlifting program this week. If I could score in all the
• 25:47
  right places. It's just a lot of movements
• 25:52
  I've done in a while. So getting back into the swing
• 25:56
  of things, trying to not fucking blow out my shoulder again.
• 26:02
  So but also started my beast. Favorite part?
• 26:10
  All this bullshit and that's fucking like tracking calories
• 26:14
  and Beal prepping again because I've been in the gym for a while
• 26:19
  now like 4-5 months and just haven't like lost any weight.
• 26:26
  I was like fuck up, I'm gonna you know, track calories for
• 26:30
  like a week or two, see what happens.
• 26:33
  I'm on day 2 and I fucking hate myself so I'm just hungry all
• 26:40
  the time and fucking sober so. Well, the alcohol will for sure
• 26:48
  will for sure stop weight weight loss dead in its tracks.
• 26:53
  You will not use it if you have alcohol.
• 26:56
  I'm aware. Why do you think I'm sober?
• 26:58
  Yeah, so like, 'cause I mean, I've like, I'm fuck you.
• 27:03
  I'm, I'm like, like I'm, I'm pretty big dude, you know, And
• 27:18
  so one thing I figured out pretty well was was how to drop
• 27:23
  weight pretty quickly, which is why I do the fasting thing.
• 27:25
  And it it works if you're on your shit, I fucking love it.
• 27:31
  You know, if you get dizzy or whatever and just will help you
• 27:35
  out pinch, no pun intended, but and then like some people will
• 27:44
  have luck like I don't know, I don't know if you use nicotine
• 27:48
  or whatever. Nicotine is great.
• 27:51
  I suppressant. I unfortunately do not use
• 27:54
  nicotine anymore so it's been a little bit harder.
• 27:59
  For. Black coffee helps, like in a
• 28:02
  pinch, like if I need to have black coffee, that'll help curve
• 28:05
  an appetite for a little bit. But really, as long as you put
• 28:10
  yourself in a calorie deficit, like if you're working all day
• 28:16
  or you're working out or whatever, you're, you're burning
• 28:18
  calories while doing the fasting, you're, you're going to
• 28:22
  naturally lose weight. But then when it comes to like
• 28:25
  my, my dinner, I don't skip myself.
• 28:28
  Like I eat until I'm, it takes a lot to fill me up.
• 28:32
  It takes a lot to make me feel full.
• 28:33
  So feel full. So like I'm not by any means
• 28:38
  starving myself. Like I'll, I'll have like I
• 28:42
  remember when I was gung ho about the fasting thing, I would
• 28:44
  have like a New York strip and like 3 eggs and like, you know,
• 28:48
  something to drink, you know, like I would fill myself up and
• 28:53
  like I might have two pieces like 2 steaks and some eggs.
• 28:56
  Like if I really was hungry, Like I just, you know, as long
• 29:00
  as it was like clean protein and that was what I was taking in.
• 29:05
  Because your body's going to work through all of that.
• 29:07
  It's not going to store any of that anywhere.
• 29:10
  So that shit works. Yeah, only thing about fasting
• 29:16
  is that I usually work out like really early in the day, around
• 29:20
  like 7 or 8, and I fucking hate working out fasted.
• 29:23
  Like I feel like shit and I just feel like I usually can't push
• 29:29
  myself enough so I have to eat in the mornings.
• 29:34
  But the biggest problem is that like, I like to snack a bunch.
• 29:38
  So I've had to kind of split everything up to where I'm
• 29:41
  eating like really small shit four or five times a day up
• 29:45
  until I go to bed. So that way I'm not really like
• 29:49
  tempted to fucking snack a ton or anything like that.
• 29:54
  How many calories are you letting yourself have a day?
• 29:57
  2000 OK, yeah. Which is good if you're working
• 30:01
  out because you need you want it to be.
• 30:04
  Well, that's the thing. I'm like one 95198 right now and
• 30:12
  with the amount I work out my maintenance calories to like
• 30:16
  stay this way, it should be somewhere around like 2731
• 30:21
  hundred. So I'm going into a huge deficit
• 30:24
  right now just because I want to do it like suck it up for two
• 30:29
  weeks and just see what the weight loss looks like and see
• 30:34
  how I feel at the end of it. Like how my recovery is doing,
• 30:37
  how much of like shit I feel. And then kind of like adjust
• 30:43
  from there. But I just got to a point where
• 30:45
  I'm like, I'm fucking tired of it.
• 30:47
  I'm not seeing the scale move. So I'm going to do this for two
• 30:50
  weeks and then fucking go from there.
• 30:54
  Yeah, see, I don't work out, but I do work.
• 30:59
  And when I like at work, we, we don't.
• 31:03
  So I work in the fire suppression world.
• 31:06
  So like the stuff that we pick, the stuff we stock is pretty
• 31:10
  heavy. So like we have things called
• 31:13
  like OS and Y valves and which are just a big chunk of steel.
• 31:18
  It's like a it's like 7070 lbs or whatever.
• 31:22
  Or we'll have a jockey pump which will be like 50 lbs.
• 31:24
  So like every once in awhile, like I, I move those around and
• 31:27
  when I do move them around, I like, I'll like curl them, you
• 31:30
  know, like to just try to like, try to get something in.
• 31:34
  Like I don't 'cause you know, my, my job's pretty labor, labor
• 31:38
  intense. So like, that's where my
• 31:41
  calories are getting burned. But I don't work out.
• 31:43
  So like, I don't need, I probably will have like 1200
• 31:50
  calories a day is where I'm at. But I don't need to bring in the
• 31:53
  extra 'cause I'm not like trying to put on muscle mass or
• 31:56
  anything like that. So that's why that's fair.
• 31:59
  Yeah. Biggest thing is I'm just making
• 32:04
  sure I hit my protein. I've been good about that.
• 32:06
  So other than that, I could really give a fuck to us, you
• 32:10
  know? Yeah.
• 32:14
  Have you gone carnivore? You've done that.
• 32:18
  Before, no. And I've thought about it kind
• 32:24
  of in the future once I get to a more manageable weight to like
• 32:30
  tone up quite a bit doing that. But right now I'm just, I kind
• 32:35
  of eat the carbs for energy. Yeah.
• 32:38
  So I don't plan that I'll cut that out out anytime soon.
• 32:43
  OK, yeah, when when I I miss, honestly, I miss doing the
• 32:53
  carnivore thing. I just, it's not when you have a
• 32:58
  family and stuff. It's just not realistic.
• 33:00
  Like when I was single and going through a divorce and not having
• 33:04
  to cook for anybody, like I could come home, pull a venison
• 33:09
  steak out of the fridge and and that was my food, you know, and
• 33:11
  that and that was like, or do you know, whatever, whatever I
• 33:15
  wanted, like eggs, cheese and, and and meat.
• 33:18
  I got like I had boy dinner basically every night.
• 33:21
  Like it was just, it was just meat and it was.
• 33:23
  But also that trick is expensive.
• 33:26
  Yeah, I was going to say too. And we're, we're not really,
• 33:30
  things are not really in a good place right now with the cost of
• 33:35
  beef and stuff like that. Luckily I have, I guess I have a
• 33:41
  freezer full of venison. But, but yeah, beef, although I,
• 33:47
  I, I want to try this out. I heard that if you guys have
• 33:53
  Costco business centers near you because there's Costco and then
• 33:57
  there's Costco business and you can go to Costco business even
• 34:02
  if you if you have a Costco card and they sell bulk meats for
• 34:07
  like way cheaper like I. Can tell you that's probably a
• 34:12
  hard no because we didn't even have a Costco here until a
• 34:16
  couple of years ago. So.
• 34:20
  I feel like an Arkansas you could just walk outside and get
• 34:23
  a cow though. Like, I don't, I don't know.
• 34:27
  Yeah, you know what? I I have a question.
• 34:31
  Arkansas. What the hell even is it?
• 34:35
  Great question. That's a great question.
• 34:39
  It's it's kind of hell, Like you're pretty much just living
• 34:45
  and open for the majority of the year.
• 34:49
  Yeah, but you got snow. Yeah, that's a more recent
• 34:55
  thing. Like when I was growing up here,
• 34:57
  we weren't getting out of ton. It's God damn global warming.
• 35:03
  We're getting snow like once a year now, but that's also like
• 35:09
  the three weeks out of the year where it actually where we get
• 35:14
  winter. We're all fucking drop to like
• 35:17
  20-30 degrees. We get a couple inches of snow,
• 35:23
  Allstate fucking freaks out and shuts down, and then it goes
• 35:27
  away and we go right into like barely even fucking spring
• 35:32
  because we've been having like 8090° days here already.
• 35:38
  Jeez. Yeah it it fuck sucks dude.
• 35:43
  So what I'm hearing is Arkansas is literally an oven that snows
• 35:47
  3 weeks out of the year. It snows like 2 days out of the
• 35:52
  year. We get like 3 weeks of winter.
• 35:56
  But because I mean, fuck, it was, it was like 70 something
• 36:02
  degrees on Christmas Day here. Like we're chilling in fucking
• 36:06
  shorts. So yeah, Arkansas you really
• 36:14
  only get like summer and summer. Fall you don't really get any of
• 36:18
  the other seasons. I like snow.
• 36:21
  I like driving in snow. It's fun to plow snow.
• 36:29
  So, So yeah, I don't think I'm going to ever live in Arkansas.
• 36:33
  Not that that was ever even remotely a fucking thought.
• 36:36
  But I'm just going to go ahead and and mix that now.
• 36:39
  Not doing it. Hey, remember when you away from
• 36:42
  everyone that you loved with the fucking?
• 36:45
  And and then I trauma bonded with a bunch of other dudes.
• 36:51
  Yep. Did you just sneak away to go
• 36:55
  get your glass of milk? Oh yeah.
• 37:01
  I had to, which just sounded good.
• 37:04
  My mouth was getting dry. It's from all the talking.
• 37:12
  I will say though, like Arkansas, parts of it are
• 37:15
  fucking beautiful. Like so it has background,
• 37:21
  there's a lot of good like outdoor stuff to do.
• 37:26
  It's mainly like, you know, woods, shit like that.
• 37:29
  We don't have any mountains here or anything, so.
• 37:33
  Do you got some some small? You got a small mountain range
• 37:36
  or the tail end of a mountain range down there.
• 37:38
  Yeah, tail end, but it's nothing.
• 37:42
  Nothing that you think of when you think of fucking mountains.
• 37:47
  So I just asked Perplexity to write me a sales pitch on why I
• 37:51
  should move to Arkansas. What?
• 37:53
  The fuck is perplexity? We're we're not doing ChatGPT
• 37:56
  anymore. No, we're we're not doing so,
• 37:59
  no. No, OK, OK.
• 38:06
  Imagine waking up to the beauty of the Ozarks or the peaceful
• 38:09
  rhythm of the Arkansas River Valley.
• 38:11
  Arkansas offers a rare blend of natural serenity and affordable
• 38:15
  living that few states can match.
• 38:18
  The cost of living is among the lowest in the country.
• 38:20
  Meeting our dollar stretches further.
• 38:22
  Whether you're buying a home, starting a business, or just
• 38:24
  enjoying your life. You'll find vibrant small towns,
• 38:28
  friendly communities, and thriving cities like
• 38:30
  Fayetteville and Little Rock, each with growing job
• 38:34
  opportunities and lively culture I can see from my peripherals.
• 38:41
  Plus, Arkansas is a paradise for outdoor lovers.
• 38:44
  Hiking, fishing, mountain biking, and lake adventures are
• 38:47
  all minutes away. With its strong sense of
• 38:50
  community, slower pace, and scenic beauty, Arkansas's just
• 38:54
  isn't just a place to move. It's a place to relax, grow, and
• 38:58
  truly feel at home. Now hang on, I got an idea.
• 39:01
  I'll ring a sales pitch. I will say cost of living here
• 39:10
  is stupid fucking cheap, but that being said you kind of get
• 39:15
  what you pay for so. Devin, how many minutes away
• 39:20
  from mountain biking are you? Let's say if you want like good
• 39:27
  mount or I think good like decent mountain biking like 2530
• 39:31
  minutes. You want like really good it's
• 39:35
  like 2 hours ish so enough for a day trip and go do some cool
• 39:43
  shit all. Right, here we go.
• 39:49
  Jeremy, you got your other sales pitch ready for Wyden not to
• 39:52
  live in Arkansas. Sure, Arkansas has charm,
• 39:58
  rolling hills, friendly people and outdoor beauty.
• 40:01
  Well, let's talk about why they don't put it on the brochures.
• 40:04
  Summer humidity thick enough to swim through.
• 40:07
  Mosquitoes the size of small drones.
• 40:09
  Tornadoes that turn your weather wrap into a horror movie.
• 40:12
  And then there's the night where the mist creeps.
• 40:15
  Look across the Ozark and old timers whisper stories about
• 40:19
  strange things that stalk the woods.
• 40:22
  Skinwalkers. Shadowy figures that moves
• 40:25
  faster than wind and skate back when you swear you're alone.
• 40:33
  Beyond the folklore, you'll find miles of rural roads that seem
• 40:37
  built for getting lost, the limited big city amenities and
• 40:40
  Wi-Fi dead zones deep enough to make you rethink your
• 40:43
  relationship with civilization. Arkansas may be beautiful, but
• 40:47
  sometimes beauty has a way of hiding all the reasons you
• 40:50
  should keep your bags back in your night light plugged in.
• 40:55
  So I didn't know the fucking skinwalker thing.
• 40:58
  I had the. I so I I I'm going to confess I
• 41:02
  told it to include skin lockers. Oh OK, I was like what the fuck?
• 41:07
  It took me I have to type it in. Well, yeah, at the same time,
• 41:12
  like I've always been like Central Arkansas, I've never
• 41:16
  spent too much time like Northwest.
• 41:18
  So it was like fucking maybe. But yeah, no, it kind of nailed
• 41:23
  that to a fucking T Summer humidity sucks, Mosquitoes
• 41:27
  fucking terrible. Tornadoes, Yeah, that's it's a
• 41:34
  big thing. I'm sorry, I had.
• 41:37
  The Tornadoes. I don't see, like growing up
• 41:42
  here, it's fucking Tornado. I really like kind of used to
• 41:46
  them. You don't really get scared of
• 41:48
  them or anything unless they're coming straight at you and then
• 41:51
  you're like, oh, shit, OK, yeah, cool.
• 41:52
  Now we'll go inside. But mainly like just sit outside
• 41:57
  on the porch, like watch him roll by.
• 42:02
  See, I, I haven't really seen one up close like that.
• 42:05
  So like, I just picture like the movie Twister and it's just, it
• 42:11
  doesn't sound like a good time to me, you know?
• 42:14
  Hey, Gavin. Hey, hey, hey, Gavin.
• 42:18
  What's up? What the Hell's a Galro?
• 42:23
  Oh. A what?
• 42:26
  OK, what the hell is the Boggy Creek monster?
• 42:30
  Hell yeah. Fucking Arkansas cryptids here.
• 42:33
  We. Go.
• 42:34
  I honestly have no idea. What the hell is a hoop snake?
• 42:41
  I'll show you. What the hell is the White River
• 42:48
  Monster? That one I have heard of but
• 42:52
  that's been years. What about a Synophis?
• 43:02
  I have no idea. You gather, enlighten me and the
• 43:04
  audience because just name it shit and I'm like, I don't know
• 43:09
  what the fuck you're talking about.
• 43:11
  Giving me nightmare. Or the the Heber Springs water
• 43:17
  Panther. What?
• 43:21
  I've been to Hebrew Springs multiple times.
• 43:23
  I've never fucking heard of that.
• 43:25
  Apparently there's a fucking water Panther there and it's
• 43:28
  terrifying. Love Panthers.
• 43:31
  The Gow Row Gow Row GOWROW is a legendary Arkansas Cryptid
• 43:37
  described as a 20 foot long, tusked and spiked, sorry spike
• 43:42
  backed reptilian beast that terrorizes the Ozarks.
• 43:49
  OK, so you got a giant lizard. One never heard of that.
• 43:55
  What the hell is the fuk Mont Folk monster FOUKE?
• 44:00
  Yeah, what the fuck do you say that?
• 44:02
  Fuck, I don't know. Come on, you're our residence.
• 44:04
  Oh, that's a Sasquatch. Oh, you said Sasquatch.
• 44:11
  Yeah, so the the folk monster or the boggy Creek monster, That's
• 44:16
  a squatch. OK, I've, I think I've always
• 44:20
  heard of that as the Southern Sasquatch.
• 44:30
  Apparently a hoop snake is literally just a snake that
• 44:34
  grabs its tail and its mouth and rolls like a wheel to chase its
• 44:38
  break. Oh, it's.
• 44:39
  A fucking idiot. Holy shit.
• 44:41
  That is the dumbest fucking Cryptid I thought.
• 44:46
  Where the fuck? On two legs.
• 44:50
  Oh blue monster inspired movie Legend of the Dog.
• 45:06
  I don't like the snoppus. The legend of Boggy Creek from
• 45:11
  1972. Sounds like a hell of a movie.
• 45:25
  It's pretty cool. Reenactments blah blah blah.
• 45:34
  Apparently the Synophis is a white tailed deer Pegasus
• 45:39
  looking thing. Slaw, it's OK.
• 45:47
  I don't know how I feel about that.
• 45:52
  The Hell's the Heber Springs Panther?
• 45:54
  Look like oh. Wow, it's a Panther.
• 46:04
  Apparently it's a bipedal Panther.
• 46:09
  Is it pain? Interesting.
• 46:10
  Who will they guess? It there's a picture of it
• 46:16
  depicted as being purple, but there is no no pink Heber
• 46:21
  Springs Panther According to Google, the 1st 7 images on
• 46:26
  Google Images. Very well.
• 46:33
  No, the Ozark Howler. That's apparently a thing.
• 46:41
  Sounds like a mix of a wolf's howl and Elk's bugle and a
• 46:44
  hyenas laugh. I don't like that buddy.
• 46:51
  If we heard that, I would shit your pants.
• 46:55
  You know I wouldn't play me. Because yeah, way king, aren't
• 46:58
  you? I just went down the fucking
• 47:04
  rabbit hole. Well, yeah, so don't move to
• 47:09
  Arkansas. There's a bunch of spooky shit.
• 47:11
  Apparently not skinwalkers, but there's other spooky shit.
• 47:18
  Yeah, no, that doesn't, doesn't surprise me at all.
• 47:21
  It's really not a ton to do here, especially like grown up
• 47:25
  and whatnot. So it would me and some of my
• 47:29
  friends, we'd always go over to like a little, not really awake.
• 47:34
  It's like a pond or something. So a Game and Fish reservation
• 47:38
  near me. Well, we would just hang out
• 47:41
  there and, you know, fucking do things that may or may not have
• 47:47
  been legal and like 15-16 years old, but like out in the woods
• 47:55
  and we just kind of like wander around and we would hear all
• 47:58
  kinds of fucking spooky shit. Yeah, it's fair.
• 48:08
  All right. I have another question because
• 48:10
  this is just a questions episode.
• 48:15
  What's your What's your loadout for a zombie apocalypse?
• 48:26
  How deep we talking? Primary, secondary, and what are
• 48:35
  like 3 must haves in your oh shit bag.
• 48:44
  And I don't think I specifically care about what gun you're
• 48:46
  picking for your primary and secondary.
• 48:48
  I have more care about what it's chambered in.
• 49:00
  Man probably going to be like a silenced AR556 is.
• 49:08
  I mean it's it's fairly common. Round, round, secondary.
• 49:13
  Definitely be something up sturdy and reliable.
• 49:17
  Probably go with my Glock 19 because that's why I have on
• 49:20
  hand some type of fucking blade like machete or something like
• 49:27
  that. I'm just not going to get stuck
• 49:33
  easy fucking baseball bat or something and then must haves in
• 49:41
  the oh shit bag. Definitely some form of like
• 49:48
  water purifier, whether that be like one of those fucking like
• 49:55
  probably like one of those like filter bags.
• 49:58
  I can filter like is it like 500 gallons or something like that?
• 50:06
  Probably tarp, something to make shelter and definitely 550
• 50:11
  gourd. All right, Jimmy, what are you
• 50:18
  packing? These guns.
• 50:24
  She's going to You're going to punch your way through the
• 50:26
  zombie apocalypse. It's really funny that Gavin
• 50:28
  mentioned the Glock 19 because when you when you said, all
• 50:32
  right, guys, what's your zombie loadout?
• 50:34
  The first thing for some reason, and, and I had to dig like this
• 50:38
  came way from back in my brain, is Matt Best's video of the top
• 50:44
  five concealed carry weapons. And he's like starting at #1 the
• 50:48
  Glock 19. And then he like, goes down and
• 50:52
  he's like #4 the Glock 19 spoiler, it's all the Glock 19.
• 51:05
  It's fucking reliable like and nine mil is fucking everywhere
• 51:13
  so. I'm going, yeah, I'm going
• 51:19
  suppressed 22. That's what I'm going with
• 51:26
  'cause you only need, you only need a 22 to really, you know,
• 51:33
  it's, it's super easy ammo to get.
• 51:36
  It's already not very loud. The suppressor adds quiet.
• 51:39
  But if you, you can take any game.
• 51:43
  I don't care what anybody says. You can take any game with a 22
• 51:48
  if as long as you hit them right in the right spot behind the ear
• 51:53
  or the neck. Like you hit that if you hit the
• 51:56
  if you hit the verb right, you're you're you're dropping
• 51:58
  them. I would love to see you try to
• 52:00
  kill one of the wild boys down here with a 22.
• 52:04
  I'll play shot. You can give it with a 22, but
• 52:11
  yeah, no, they're they're that would be hilarious to see
• 52:16
  somebody try that like I'm assuming like like when you're.
• 52:20
  It would be rough. In in the instance that I'm
• 52:24
  talking about, the animal does not know you're shooting at it,
• 52:27
  and you have all the time in the world to aim.
• 52:30
  Picture some feral. Hard.
• 52:32
  Charging at you. I've seen those things shake off
• 52:37
  a fucking 30 out, six around. Yeah.
• 52:39
  I have a video buddy shooting 1/4 times and I think he was
• 52:44
  using, I think he was using a 30 out six.
• 52:47
  Yeah, but with a well aimed shot, a 22 should really get the
• 52:55
  job done. And it's quiet.
• 52:58
  So that's why we don't have a whole lot of wild boar here.
• 53:04
  You know, we've got white tailed deer and that's pretty much it.
• 53:08
  And coyotes like. And elk.
• 53:11
  And wolves. And bears.
• 53:13
  I mean, OK, so elk, not so much. I mean, we have them.
• 53:17
  Elk is a managed game species in the state of Michigan.
• 53:20
  Yes, but barely we have. Enough to have A tag.
• 53:25
  We have four of them, that's about it.
• 53:30
  They actually realized it was a horrific mistake and they're
• 53:32
  trying to kill off the herd. And the bear, yeah, but the
• 53:37
  bears are black bears. So you're not really not really
• 53:39
  worried about black bears. You know, I'm not really going
• 53:43
  to black bear is not going to be something that I'm going to go
• 53:46
  seek out in the in the in the end, in the end times.
• 53:51
  You know, it's like a more, you know, that that's like a meat
• 53:55
  that you really got to overcook and everything like that.
• 53:58
  It's just a lot of work, a lot of fat, a lot of not just not a
• 54:00
  lot of not worth it to me in that type of world.
• 54:05
  But a 22, you don't, you don't want to start shooting 556 at a
• 54:10
  squirrel or a rabbit or something like that.
• 54:12
  You know, that's why I want the 22 is because 22 will bring
• 54:16
  something big down in a pinch, but also won't destroy meat if
• 54:20
  you're shooting at something small and it will definitely
• 54:23
  take a zombie out. You know, the the 22 is used as
• 54:27
  the mafia sniper rifle. Like what did they call it the,
• 54:32
  the, the rattle can or something like that?
• 54:34
  Because it would, it had enough power to penetrate the skull,
• 54:37
  but not enough power to leave it.
• 54:39
  So it would just scramble around inside.
• 54:41
  You know, it's basically why they called it.
• 54:42
  They called it, it had a nickname and I don't remember
• 54:45
  what it was, but it was because of that and kind of what Gavin
• 54:53
  was saying something for water filtrations, like a life straw
• 54:56
  or something like that. And I don't know for again, a
• 55:06
  feral rod or something to start fires with, you know, give me my
• 55:12
  food, my water and my my gun. You know, I can take take on the
• 55:17
  world, you know? Now this fucking idiot exposure
• 55:22
  kills you quickly than anything else will.
• 55:25
  He's going to be dead in three days.
• 55:29
  Who's wait who? I got my feral rod.
• 55:33
  I'm good. Saying you need shelter.
• 55:39
  Yeah, I can build shelter. There's going to be so many
• 55:43
  abandoned houses, you'll be fine.
• 55:45
  Dude, I'm stealing houses when when the zombie apocalypse
• 55:48
  comes. Like we've we've already had
• 55:50
  this conversation. You're going to forget to clear
• 55:52
  one room and a zombie's going to bite your Dick off in the middle
• 55:55
  of the night. Honestly, I'm I'm, I'm chasing
• 55:58
  that dragon right now. I could go from, I could, I
• 56:03
  could go for that right now and the ride I am willing to get on
• 56:08
  right now. Could you imagine Zombie Jimmy?
• 56:13
  Zombie Jimmy walking around? He didn't bother to put his
• 56:16
  pants back on. He's just stumbling around with
• 56:18
  no Dick and balls hanging out, blood everywhere.
• 56:22
  Keeps tripping over his own fucking pants because they're
• 56:25
  around his ankles. Smile on his face.
• 56:31
  Jimmy, that version zombie of you would be like the lowest
• 56:34
  threat zombie. Like I would shoot the crawler.
• 56:39
  I'm just trying scenario. I would lure you into a
• 56:52
  livestock pen and just keep you as a pet.
• 56:54
  I need money. Funny as fuck.
• 56:56
  Would be funny as fuck. Every three steps gets back up.
• 57:08
  You can't put shelter in your loadout.
• 57:10
  You. Know.
• 57:12
  So I'm just thinking like a tarp or something, yeah.
• 57:16
  Put something to build a shelter like 550 was the, I think,
• 57:20
  pivotal thing in Gavin's loadout outside of water.
• 57:24
  You know what I'm not taking as a stupid fucking podcaster with
• 57:27
  the fucking Bluetooth? I'm not.
• 57:30
  Well, you don't have to worry about it.
• 57:31
  In the zombie apocalypse, no one's going to be connecting
• 57:33
  Bluetooth to your podcast machine.
• 57:35
  It's. Fair.
• 57:37
  Could you imagine that though? While you're trying to find
• 57:40
  fucking like groups of survivors or something, you're just
• 57:43
  walking around pinging random do shit.
• 57:46
  Here. Somebody's hiding.
• 57:48
  It's just a loud ass Bluetooth connected.
• 57:52
  I got him. He's used the cheapest podcast.
• 57:59
  Forget him. What would you use, Mike?
• 58:06
  What? What's your load out?
• 58:09
  So I'm going to well, since we already took 556.
• 58:13
  Chamber Marlboro Reds. And 22 chambered gats.
• 58:18
  I'm going to say I'm going to take a Remington 870 Express
• 58:25
  Magnum. All right, all right.
• 58:27
  Because that opens every fucking 12 gauge shell size for use in
• 58:33
  that gun. And you know what?
• 58:35
  Since money is no object, I'm going to fucking suppress it.
• 58:40
  My God. Jesus.
• 58:45
  So I'm I'm going to roll with the 12 just to add some
• 58:48
  diversity and not jump on anybody else's fucking answer
• 58:52
  until I say I'm also bringing a Glock 19 because I like it and
• 58:59
  when it inevitably breaks at some point there will be more of
• 59:03
  them. The Glock is going to.
• 59:06
  Break. Maybe I'm everything breaks at
• 59:09
  some point. Yes, I guess.
• 59:16
  And then in my bag I'm bringing probably also a life straw or
• 59:24
  some sort of water filtration. I'm bringing 5:50 and then I'm
• 59:34
  going to stuff an entire MRAP in my bag so I don't have to worry
• 59:40
  about shelter. Just going to live in an up
• 59:44
  armored V hall truck and it's going to be fine.
• 59:51
  But no, my third thing would probably be a rape whistle
• 59:53
  because that would probably that would be the worst thing to
• 59:55
  happen in a zombie apocalypse is to be raped by zombies before
• 59:59
  you're eating. So I mean at least I could blow
• 1:00:01
  that and see if any humans are around.
• 1:00:04
  I'm just going to roll up and see Abney.
• 1:00:06
  I'm like, do you want me to? You want me to let you get this
• 1:00:09
  last one in and then put you down there?
• 1:00:11
  You're like. All right.
• 1:00:22
  Do you imagine if the zombie virus was also an STD and that's
• 1:00:26
  how they had to pass it? I don't want to live in that
• 1:00:31
  universe. I don't.
• 1:00:32
  I don't want to live in that one.
• 1:00:36
  Dude, I was, I was playing Battlefield with Luke the other
• 1:00:39
  day. We were just getting fucking
• 1:00:41
  dogged on. I'm bitching about something.
• 1:00:46
  And Luke goes, Oh yeah, well, what if I, what if I knock you
• 1:00:50
  out? Take your butt just the way you
• 1:00:55
  fucking said it. Oh.
• 1:00:58
  My God. So now that's that's our back
• 1:01:02
  and forth joke. Whenever somebody just saying
• 1:01:04
  some dumb shit, you're like, Oh yeah, well what if I knock you
• 1:01:07
  out? Take your butt.
• 1:01:09
  Like, well, you gotta sleep eventually.
• 1:01:12
  I don't have to knock you out at that point.
• 1:01:14
  These are all jokes, by the way. These are all fucking jokes.
• 1:01:19
  Also, I just rolling back to the fucking MRAP.
• 1:01:24
  The mental image I had was me rolling up being like, hey, you
• 1:01:30
  ready for the zombie apocalypse? And there's just a salt pack
• 1:01:34
  like on the corner of the fucking hood of the MRAP and
• 1:01:37
  you're like, yeah, I'm ready. It's like, see if it's in the
• 1:01:44
  bag. Just the corner of the fucking
• 1:01:49
  door is like propped open and like the top flap of the bag is
• 1:01:53
  inside of it. It's like it fits.
• 1:01:55
  That's fine. Well, yeah, it's got to fit in
• 1:01:59
  your bag. No, it doesn't have a fucking
• 1:02:00
  truck. I got to fit shit in my bag.
• 1:02:04
  Like or the bag fits in the truck rather than the truck fits
• 1:02:08
  in the bag. Big brain.
• 1:02:13
  Yeah, well, I know this hack. What?
• 1:02:20
  I said they don't know. I know this hack.
• 1:02:26
  Follow the three damn dudes for more life hacks take.
• 1:02:31
  A truck and you won't have to worry about the bag.
• 1:02:39
  Oh shit, all right. How often do you see your
• 1:02:41
  friends wieners? Enough you.
• 1:02:50
  Say not enough. Yep.
• 1:02:53
  We'll say since move, since being back home, living in
• 1:02:56
  Arkansas, not often enough. Yeah, all right.
• 1:03:01
  There's nothing gay about seeing your friends wieners, especially
• 1:03:04
  like your teammates, because if somebody loses their Dick or
• 1:03:07
  like somebody's blown up and their Dick's the only thing
• 1:03:09
  that's left, Someone's got to be able to identify that Dick.
• 1:03:15
  It's really taking one for the team.
• 1:03:18
  I pick it up, stuff in your mouth and you're like, Yep, this
• 1:03:21
  was Johnson. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:03:26
  This tastes like Johnson's Johnson.
• 1:03:28
  Hey, I know that Dick. And we'll say though, I don't
• 1:03:38
  know what it is about being in the military and getting drunk,
• 1:03:44
  but at some point there's always a winger that comes out.
• 1:03:49
  Yeah, every time, without fail. Every time, yeah.
• 1:03:55
  You guys want to know. Go ahead, Jimmy.
• 1:03:59
  Yeah, what the fuck was going on with you during?
• 1:04:01
  That he just got assaulted by beads because he fell off the
• 1:04:04
  chair and he hung all of his nails into my arm, both hands.
• 1:04:11
  This fucking I don't know if you can.
• 1:04:15
  Oh hell yeah. So that's just and then there's
• 1:04:20
  a couple over here fucking yeah, like I'm, I'm bleeding and shit.
• 1:04:29
  Fucking sick. Go ahead and press that life
• 1:04:34
  alert button, your name D over there.
• 1:04:38
  Cat scratches itch like the fucking double D.
• 1:04:43
  It is very weird how often like for whatever reason military
• 1:04:50
  people just show their wieners like I don't.
• 1:04:55
  I've never really had that type of exposure like I've seen
• 1:05:05
  Mike's Wiener. Like, yeah.
• 1:05:09
  And that's, that's about it. Well, not true.
• 1:05:18
  I used to be friends with this guy named Bobby.
• 1:05:21
  And Bobby was Bobby was an alcoholic and he was going
• 1:05:29
  through some shit and he he had relapsed and I had to go over
• 1:05:37
  there to make sure he was all right.
• 1:05:39
  He didn't come into work and everything like that.
• 1:05:42
  And I showed up and he was blackout drunk and I had gotten
• 1:05:51
  to his house and he had bronchitis as well.
• 1:05:56
  So I like was like, we need to get you to the doctor.
• 1:05:59
  And he was hammered though. And so I was like, we need to
• 1:06:02
  get you to the doctor. And so I took him to urgent care
• 1:06:04
  and everything like that. But as I'm getting him in my
• 1:06:06
  car, like I go to open the passenger seat for him so he
• 1:06:11
  could get in and I start to walk away and then I hear the sound
• 1:06:15
  of water hitting the driveway and I turn around and he is just
• 1:06:21
  Dick out pissing in his drive and we're talking in a
• 1:06:29
  neighborhood like he's facing the opening of his driveway in
• 1:06:35
  in in Garden City, MI. And I'm, I turn around and I'm
• 1:06:40
  just staring at him. I'm like, bro, what are you
• 1:06:44
  doing? I was like, I was like, you're
• 1:06:48
  facing your neighbor's house right now.
• 1:06:50
  Like they have a window that's huge right in their living room.
• 1:06:54
  Like what are you doing? So it's me standing.
• 1:06:58
  The only thing standing between freaking Bobby and a freaking a
• 1:07:04
  charge exposure is me just making direct eye contact with
• 1:07:12
  his pissing Dick. And yeah, that was, that's like
• 1:07:16
  the only time I've really, you know, I, I.
• 1:07:21
  Don't know it's not Jimmy. Hindsight is a beautiful thing,
• 1:07:25
  but you didn't have to stare at his Dick while you did that.
• 1:07:28
  That was a, that was a choice you made.
• 1:07:36
  I think stare was the wrong word.
• 1:07:40
  Hindsight is 2020 and if I can go back I wouldn't have used the
• 1:07:44
  word stare to explain what I was doing, but I definitely had to
• 1:07:52
  take a second to comprehend what was happening.
• 1:07:55
  So I looked down and it took me a second to process what I was
• 1:08:00
  looking at. So because it took me so off
• 1:08:06
  guard and I was just blown away. I'm like, what are you doing?
• 1:08:13
  But yeah, no, I mean, it's not really a, it's not really a
• 1:08:19
  super common thing to see your friends wieners.
• 1:08:25
  Well, it it isn't. It isn't the military.
• 1:08:29
  Yeah. You guys want to hear about the
• 1:08:30
  time I almost killed my buddy Eric?
• 1:08:33
  With. With my Wiener.
• 1:08:36
  With your Wiener. So we were, we were out
• 1:08:43
  somewhere, I fucking forget, but we were free diving and Eric was
• 1:08:47
  like a master level certified diver.
• 1:08:51
  So he's like, he's a fucking fish.
• 1:08:54
  Dudes an absolute monster. But we were, we're going down to
• 1:08:59
  the bottom instead of these like walking paths and like railings,
• 1:09:02
  hold yourself down. So I guess the tourists will go
• 1:09:04
  and they have like the scuba helmets and they'll pump air
• 1:09:06
  into them. So you can walk down like look
• 1:09:09
  at the coral and all that shit and not have to worry about like
• 1:09:12
  a breath holder any of that. So we were there in the
• 1:09:15
  offseason and we're just out there free diving at this spot
• 1:09:18
  is like it's 2025 feet to the bottom.
• 1:09:21
  So like nothing crazy. And there's probably 25 to 30
• 1:09:29
  feet of like railing. So Eric's down there showing off
• 1:09:33
  and he's like pulling himself along the railing on the bottom.
• 1:09:38
  Halfway down, he stops and pulls his shorts down so his bare ass
• 1:09:43
  is just showing up at all of us and then keeps going.
• 1:09:49
  And I'm like, oh, this motherfucker, I'm going to get
• 1:09:51
  him. I'm going to get him real good.
• 1:09:52
  He was down there for a while. So like he was he was at the end
• 1:09:55
  of his breath hold and he finally like starts coming up.
• 1:09:58
  And when you come up, you're not looking up at the surface and
• 1:10:02
  you'll fuck with your own head and it gets weird.
• 1:10:05
  It's a psychological thing. So you just look straight ahead
• 1:10:08
  and you like kick till you get to the top, break the surface,
• 1:10:11
  take your breath, don't shallow water black out.
• 1:10:16
  So the rest of us are like chesty of hanging on to this
• 1:10:19
  platform out in the water. And I'm like, I'm going to get
• 1:10:25
  this motherfucker. So I look at where he's coming
• 1:10:28
  up at and I move over to where he's going to come up right in
• 1:10:31
  front of me. We're going to be like face to
• 1:10:32
  face when it comes up. But I pull my cock and balls out
• 1:10:37
  that are like 4 1/2 feet under the water.
• 1:10:41
  So he's still got kind of a long way to go when you're at the end
• 1:10:45
  of your breath hold already and you're like starting to listen
• 1:10:48
  to all your internal organs working.
• 1:10:52
  So he comes, he's coming up. And I'm like, I wonder when he's
• 1:10:59
  going to see it. And I just see this massive air
• 1:11:02
  bubble come out of him. And I realized that he was just
• 1:11:08
  eyes to eye with my Dick under the water and started laughing
• 1:11:14
  about it. And I went oh fuck.
• 1:11:17
  Oh no, he's he's still got to come up.
• 1:11:20
  Oh fuck, I just killed Eric. Oh, no.
• 1:11:25
  So he makes it to the surface, he gets gets his shit together
• 1:11:30
  and he goes, guys, I saw the craziest thing down there.
• 1:11:33
  There was an angry mushroom in a forest.
• 1:11:36
  And I was like, oh man, come on. This is the same guy that that
• 1:11:48
  held on to my my belt while I was leaning out of the side of a
• 1:11:53
  moving minivan taking a piss after we close down a bar.
• 1:12:00
  You know, I will say, have you ever really lived?
• 1:12:02
  If you haven't, they're going to piss out of a moving vehicle.
• 1:12:07
  I thought you were going to say haven't almost killed your buddy
• 1:12:09
  with your Dick. Well, no, not that.
• 1:12:11
  Have you really lived if you haven't seen your friends,
• 1:12:13
  Weiner? I mean that's that's fair, fair
• 1:12:19
  and valid. Like what the fuck, Jimmy?
• 1:12:33
  What's going? On look at the fucking the group
• 1:12:37
  chat we might have to cut this video but.
• 1:12:41
  We're recording right now. Why are we saying shit in the
• 1:12:44
  group chat? Oh my God.
• 1:12:47
  Nope. I I don't need.
• 1:12:49
  Nope, Nope, I'm not touching that.
• 1:12:53
  I I saw the I saw, I saw the the big text in the post.
• 1:13:00
  Read the. You got to look at the comments.
• 1:13:03
  Fucking damn it. Read all of it.
• 1:13:07
  Read who it's from. Read the comments.
• 1:13:25
  OK, for the audience, I'm going to skip over the meat and
• 1:13:30
  potatoes of the post, but our very own it's Jimmy.
• 1:13:39
  I'll provide so what's going on here because.
• 1:13:42
  OK. There is this page on Facebook
• 1:13:45
  that I stumbled upon randomly one day and it is an absolute
• 1:13:50
  gem. And the page is called I Hate
• 1:13:54
  Stuart Little and it is a random random page of just this one
• 1:14:01
  dude who like almost every day just makes a shit post.
• 1:14:05
  Awful, awful post about Stuart Little.
• 1:14:07
  Why? I have no idea but it's
• 1:14:10
  hilarious and it's always funny. And one day this other account
• 1:14:19
  showed up and it's Stuart Little.
• 1:14:22
  It's not the it's not the blue check mark like official Stuart
• 1:14:27
  Little profile picture is the mouse Stuart Little and the name
• 1:14:32
  is Stuart Little. And watching these two pages
• 1:14:36
  fight for a little bit was hilarious.
• 1:14:39
  But Stuart Little added me as a friend and used to comment on on
• 1:14:44
  the other podcasts page, which was hilarious to me.
• 1:14:48
  They never gave it any attention, which I thought was
• 1:14:52
  God. I thought it was hilarious.
• 1:14:54
  Like, like, like he commented on one of our posts one time when I
• 1:14:57
  was like, it's an honor to have you here.
• 1:14:58
  Like, but so I hate Stuart Little makes a post about Stuart
• 1:15:07
  Little and the, the, the Stuart Little account had been like AFK
• 1:15:13
  for like months. Like just one day just stopped
• 1:15:16
  posting like back in November of 2025.
• 1:15:20
  And so I put in the comments. I go Stuart Little has been
• 1:15:23
  awfully quiet as of late. And then finally a week later,
• 1:15:29
  Stuart Little replies to me and says Jimmy Dalmont, sorry I was
• 1:15:33
  busy banging your wife. Fucking it is such a funny page
• 1:15:49
  dude. Oh my God.
• 1:15:56
  All right, shout outs to Stuart Little.
• 1:15:58
  And I hate Stuart Little. That's fucking beautiful.
• 1:16:00
  Funny page. About it?
• 1:16:02
  Stuart Little, our fourth Damn dude.
• 1:16:04
  The week. Fucking maybe.
• 1:16:08
  Oh yeah Oh my God I just connected to my F993 with my
• 1:16:15
  phone. So yeah.
• 1:16:18
  I wonder, can I play music through it now?
• 1:16:21
  Yeah, play like 5 seconds of probably no play.
• 1:16:25
  Play one of the Are We Dreaming songs.
• 1:16:29
  Yeah, turn it up. Yes.
• 1:16:31
  So hang on, I need to warn you guys, Spotify will delete our
• 1:16:37
  episode if we play music. That's why.
• 1:16:41
  That's why I asked them if we could get.
• 1:16:47
  I don't think I played enough for it to get flagged, so I
• 1:16:50
  think we're OK. I'm more just in case we need to
• 1:16:53
  like. But there are on the other show
• 1:16:58
  we had, we had put music on like while we were bullshitting and
• 1:17:04
  now those whole up the whole episode just gets deleted.
• 1:17:09
  So it doesn't warn you, it doesn't anything.
• 1:17:11
  It just deletes the episode and bye bye, you know, So that's why
• 1:17:16
  So something just something to and same with our YouTube,
• 1:17:19
  YouTube's even worse. So hopefully because we were
• 1:17:25
  talking and stuff like that, hopefully it didn't like play
• 1:17:28
  enough. Here's.
• 1:17:30
  My question though, if your neighbors are connecting to the
• 1:17:36
  F993 and we're blaring music to you, why didn't we hear it?
• 1:17:41
  Right, that's a good question. Why didn't you hear all the
• 1:17:46
  Hispanic shit? That would have been so fucking
• 1:17:50
  funny, dude. Like, do your neighbors have a
• 1:17:54
  podcast? Like I don't have, I don't have
• 1:18:02
  an answer to that because they you it should 'cause like all I
• 1:18:07
  did was. Open.
• 1:18:08
  Spotify, all I was doing was, oh, all I did, I was open
• 1:18:13
  Spotify on my phone and press play and you guys could hear it.
• 1:18:17
  So that's weird because in theory, since something was
• 1:18:23
  playing through it, you guys should have heard it.
• 1:18:25
  So it's very unusual. But you weren't missing out
• 1:18:30
  'cause it was aggressive and it was loud.
• 1:18:34
  But it would have, well, you know, Jimmy, I will say if you
• 1:18:36
  didn't pick these shit box fucking recording podcasters,
• 1:18:40
  then this wouldn't even be an issue in the first place.
• 1:18:43
  So. Jimmy.
• 1:18:44
  You were the first woman with it.
• 1:18:50
  And we were like, hey Mike, why I was?
• 1:18:52
  Going to say the ones that Jimmy recommended, which were like 600
• 1:18:57
  fucking dollars. We immediately said no to SO.
• 1:19:02
  Yeah, that was episode 1. I almost took credit for that.
• 1:19:06
  My memory is so shitty. I would be like, dude, I'm just
• 1:19:09
  looking so we'd have better quality, but I'm like, wait a
• 1:19:11
  minute, I didn't do that. It's so easy to gaslight the
• 1:19:16
  fuck out of Jimmy I have. Dude, I have the worst enemy.
• 1:19:20
  I have the fucking memory. I mean, again, it's terrible.
• 1:19:26
  I like. Fucking.
• 1:19:30
  I told Maddie I was like, listen, I'm going to tell you
• 1:19:33
  this in good faith, and I hope you don't end up using this like
• 1:19:36
  a piece of shit. I was like, but my memory is so
• 1:19:39
  bad that if you tell me in an argument something that
• 1:19:43
  happened, I'll probably believe you.
• 1:19:45
  So don't ever do that. I was like, you giving you this,
• 1:19:49
  I'm giving you this information, but you have to stay honest.
• 1:19:54
  But yeah, no, my memory is shit dude.
• 1:19:57
  I'm like. I guess what, Jimmy?
• 1:19:59
  Yeah, everybody has that information.
• 1:20:02
  Yeah, that's all right. Just everybody gas like me and.
• 1:20:05
  Fine, Yep, that's going to be a it's going to be a recurring bit
• 1:20:10
  on the podcast now. Joe Rohr is going to be like,
• 1:20:12
  dude, you love fly fishing. Remember that one time we went
• 1:20:18
  fly fishing and we cuddled? You loved it.
• 1:20:26
  Yeah, one time we played Hide the Fly.
• 1:20:32
  Speaking of hiding flies, Jimmy, are you old enough for the
• 1:20:34
  finger in the butt physical or where are we at with that
• 1:20:39
  outside of like a work or dot physical like are you at that
• 1:20:42
  age? I hope so.
• 1:20:45
  I'm ready because I'll tell you what I'll come like.
• 1:20:52
  I'm gonna come. Whenever you go in for that
• 1:20:59
  appointment, I need you to wear a T-shirt with Trump on it with
• 1:21:03
  the caption I'm going to come. Like who?
• 1:21:13
  Like people are afraid of that. And I'm like, you don't even
• 1:21:18
  know what? You don't even know what's back
• 1:21:19
  there, your buttons back there. You don't even know that dude.
• 1:21:23
  You just go in, That's the doc. You're like, hey, can I have
• 1:21:25
  some napkins for the mess that I'm going to make?
• 1:21:28
  You need to go in there with an open mind and an open ass and
• 1:21:31
  just let shit happen dude. Oh my God.
• 1:21:43
  You roll in drop trow. Yeah, I got wax just for you,
• 1:21:46
  doc. Can you tell?
• 1:21:48
  I've been preparing for this. You know what, I did fuck with a
• 1:21:51
  doctor one time and this was really funny.
• 1:21:56
  So I had to get, I had to get my tonsils removed.
• 1:22:01
  And so like, you know, they put you under, they, they put you
• 1:22:05
  under for that and stuff like that.
• 1:22:07
  And my doctor was cool. It was a younger dude, super
• 1:22:11
  funny, but he would, he like gave me the preparation of what
• 1:22:16
  was going to like what they were going to do and everything like
• 1:22:19
  that. He's he, he, he warned me.
• 1:22:21
  He's like, we're going to take, we're going to put you in a
• 1:22:23
  gown, but we're going to take the top part off.
• 1:22:25
  He's like just so we can get to your throat and it's not in the
• 1:22:28
  way and stuff like that. So I got I got one of them
• 1:22:32
  freaking tattoos that you put on with water.
• 1:22:37
  Then it was a butterfly. It was right here.
• 1:22:41
  It was just a rainbow butterfly. I put her right here.
• 1:22:48
  And so like he did the surgery and stuff and then I come back
• 1:22:53
  in for my follow up like 2 weeks later.
• 1:22:56
  He's like you know, I got to, he's like, I got to ask you
• 1:22:58
  something. He's like everything went good,
• 1:23:01
  your surgery went good, your throat looks good, everything
• 1:23:03
  looks good. But I've been thinking about
• 1:23:06
  this non-stop. He goes, what, what's with the
• 1:23:12
  tattoo? And I go, what tattoo?
• 1:23:16
  He goes, come on, man. He's like we found off.
• 1:23:20
  He's like, I told you we were going to do that.
• 1:23:22
  He's like, I saw the tattoo. He's like, I saw it.
• 1:23:26
  He's like, you can't hide from the fact that you have a tattoo.
• 1:23:29
  And I go, what tattoo? He's like the tattoo right here.
• 1:23:32
  And I go, what tattoo? And I pull it down.
• 1:23:35
  He goes, oh, he goes, that's awesome.
• 1:23:38
  He's like, nobody's done that. He's like, that was great.
• 1:23:41
  Like he was so excited. He's like, that's hilarious.
• 1:23:47
  That's when he realized that I only put that on to fuck with
• 1:23:49
  him. Dude, if I ever have to go in
• 1:23:54
  for another colonoscopy, I mean when I have to go in for another
• 1:23:57
  colonoscopy, I'm going to shave one ass cheek and do the same
• 1:24:01
  thing, but it's going to say hi. We need a temporary tattoo guy.
• 1:24:11
  If anybody out there knows how to fucking make that shit, let
• 1:24:16
  us know. Or a permanent tattoo, just for
• 1:24:18
  the love of the game, you know? I had a buddy who got he went
• 1:24:27
  into a tattoo shop and he wanted made in America and Chinese
• 1:24:32
  lettering tattooed on his ass. I think that the translation was
• 1:24:39
  bad or the tattoo artist was fucking with him or he lied to
• 1:24:44
  us about what he said to put on his ass because we all looked at
• 1:24:49
  it and like somebody who actually knew who could read
• 1:24:54
  Chinese was like, dude that says diarrhea.
• 1:25:00
  And the immediate joke became, damn Dan, you got diarrhea on
• 1:25:04
  your ass. Oh, you should have weighed
• 1:25:06
  better. Where'd you go shower that shit
• 1:25:07
  off? Oh my God.
• 1:25:10
  So now every time I talk to him, which granted it's been fucking
• 1:25:13
  years at this point, I'm like, hey man, you still got diarrhea
• 1:25:15
  on your ass cheek. You should probably get that.
• 1:25:19
  Why? I don't understand why people
• 1:25:21
  would want something in another language on their body like if
• 1:25:24
  they don't speak or read that language.
• 1:25:26
  Like it just doesn't make sense to me.
• 1:25:28
  Because it's funny, and it's only funny to you.
• 1:25:31
  Right. But then you have something that
• 1:25:34
  that's no longer funny to him. It's just funny that they have
• 1:25:38
  it and people can make fun of them.
• 1:25:39
  You just. Said.
• 1:25:40
  I think I think he's he's spun a story because he asked for
• 1:25:46
  diarrhea and Mandarin to be put on his ass.
• 1:25:52
  That's funny, yeah. Yeah, it's the same.
• 1:25:56
  So we had bunk beds where we were at and I was on the top
• 1:26:01
  bunk and he was, he was sitting off to the left in front of the
• 1:26:06
  the secretary with his computer playing a game that is that's
• 1:26:09
  out and everything. And I'm, I'm holding an orange.
• 1:26:13
  I don't fucking know why I just, I had an orange.
• 1:26:16
  I'm laying in bed looking at the ceiling, looking at a fucking
• 1:26:19
  orange. And I look at the orange and I
• 1:26:22
  look at Dan, who's got his like feet up on one of the the
• 1:26:27
  drawers in the secretary and just knees spread wide apart.
• 1:26:31
  So just like Dick and balls right there.
• 1:26:35
  I look at the orange, I look at Dan, I look at the orange again
• 1:26:39
  and go Wham, threw it at him from the top, Hit him, hit him
• 1:26:50
  right in the nuts. And you guys seen the movie
• 1:26:53
  Harry and the Hendersons? I've never seen it.
• 1:27:00
  Maybe. Maybe.
• 1:27:03
  I've OK there's a scene where the guy that is like the villain
• 1:27:10
  in the movies hunting the Sasquatch throughout the entire
• 1:27:13
  movie finally catches up to him and Harry.
• 1:27:17
  The Sasquatch gets close enough to get hands on him and pick him
• 1:27:21
  up and is like growling in his face aggressively and the hunter
• 1:27:27
  just cocks his leg back and kicks him right in the falls.
• 1:27:35
  And here he goes from like just watching his face contort.
• 1:27:46
  That's the same thing that I watched my buddy Dan do.
• 1:27:49
  It was like. Oh.
• 1:27:55
  And then he stood up and I got hit several times for that one,
• 1:28:00
  but it was fucking worth it because that's a funny fucking
• 1:28:03
  story. There's something.
• 1:28:07
  You just. Know going to have consequences,
• 1:28:09
  but you do it anyways because it's going to be fucking funny.
• 1:28:13
  Yeah, absolutely. Jimmy, you said words.
• 1:28:18
  What the fuck did you say? I said Harry the hen.
• 1:28:21
  Harry and the Hendersons thing is a funny looking Sasquatch
• 1:28:25
  dude. Dude it it's such a good movie.
• 1:28:28
  I. Need to watch it?
• 1:28:31
  Unfortunately, you guys won't understand why I was was staying
• 1:28:40
  the night at my uncle's house and my uncle he he had a, he had
• 1:28:49
  kind of like a, it was, they called it the den like it wasn't
• 1:28:53
  the living room. It was like another living room,
• 1:28:56
  I guess, basically. So they called it the Den, and
• 1:29:01
  there was a couch in there, and ATV and I had fell asleep on
• 1:29:06
  that couch and I had woken up in the morning and there was
• 1:29:13
  somebody sitting at my feet watching Harry and the
• 1:29:17
  Hendersons. That it was my uncle's buddy, my
• 1:29:20
  uncle's, my uncle's best friend, and I don't know how to describe
• 1:29:27
  what my uncle's best friend looks like.
• 1:29:31
  He looked like Dale Earnhardt that had a severe run in with
• 1:29:36
  meth and alcoholism. It was just not just super
• 1:29:42
  skinny disheveled looking meth mouth.
• 1:29:48
  Just hillbilly looking dude sitting at my feet watching
• 1:29:53
  Harry and that ever since. And that's what I woke up to.
• 1:29:55
  I'm like. What the hell?
• 1:29:57
  I've been like 9 years old. I'm like, who the hell is this
• 1:30:00
  at my feet? Like this is a memory that I
• 1:30:04
  have for my childhood. That was kind of funny.
• 1:30:08
  Jimmy, I think if you revisit that memory and therapy, you're
• 1:30:11
  going to unlock some things. I hope to fuck not.
• 1:30:17
  I really hope not. I like how you start out the the
• 1:30:23
  description of his appearance with kind of looks like Dale
• 1:30:26
  Earnhardt and then describe someone that looks nothing like
• 1:30:29
  Dale Earnhardt. He looked like Dale Earnhardt
• 1:30:33
  after Dale if Dale Earnhardt had a run in with meth and
• 1:30:35
  alcoholism. I wish I had a picture of him
• 1:30:40
  but then. Again, I guarantee you'll find
• 1:30:43
  it. I don't know if I can the
• 1:30:45
  legality of me showing you his picture though, so I don't know
• 1:30:48
  if we're going to do that. You have to put it in the.
• 1:30:50
  You have to put it in the group chat.
• 1:30:52
  Yeah, I don't have on Facebook or nothing like that.
• 1:30:56
  So there's a hillbilly looking boys.
• 1:31:03
  I'm tired. Yeah, same.
• 1:31:07
  That fucking place that's taking it out of me that I started
• 1:31:12
  playing, started playing a new game.
• 1:31:15
  What are you playing? I'm playing Farm Simulator 25.
• 1:31:26
  Oh no. For whatever reason, the
• 1:31:31
  algorithm decided that I needed to watch people, like, put a
• 1:31:36
  story to like speed up Farm Simulator 25.
• 1:31:42
  And that is all I've been getting on YouTube.
• 1:31:46
  And honestly, like, I don't know.
• 1:31:48
  I'm not, I'm not mad about it. At first I was like, this is
• 1:31:51
  fucking stupid. What the fuck?
• 1:31:54
  And it, you know, like E coli and a pig carcass, it started
• 1:31:58
  growing on me. Movement in Nebraska doesn't
• 1:32:04
  sound too bad, huh? Going just getting some
• 1:32:08
  farmland. Yeah, until you look at how much
• 1:32:13
  that shit costs. And it's not video game money,
• 1:32:15
  it's real money. Dude, I wish I could freaking
• 1:32:22
  afford some freaking farmland. Indeed.
• 1:32:26
  It'd be cool get some property. Yeah.
• 1:32:31
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:32:35
  I would love to have like 100 acres and like just move
• 1:32:38
  everybody out onto it, parcel it out, but like not officially and
• 1:32:45
  just build like a massive fucking pole barn in the center
• 1:32:48
  of it is like the central meeting location boys.
• 1:32:56
  We can actually build a studio then.
• 1:32:59
  Hell yeah, dude. We could you.
• 1:33:06
  Know it would be cool. This is what I wish.
• 1:33:09
  This is like my my dream. It'll never happen with my
• 1:33:15
  dream. Like if I had property, I think
• 1:33:19
  it would be cool to have like to build like a Viking hall with
• 1:33:26
  the long table, the long fire pits, everything like that.
• 1:33:31
  Like I wish like that would be the coolest thing.
• 1:33:35
  Like I've always wanted to do that like and put some beds in
• 1:33:40
  there, like turn it into like a deer camp type thing.
• 1:33:43
  Like that's a deer camp is at the Viking Hall.
• 1:33:47
  Like what's some freaking like? I don't know, man.
• 1:33:50
  I wish. Like if I ever, if I ever won
• 1:33:52
  the lottery, I would buy a big old chunk of property and I
• 1:33:56
  would I would do that. I would do something like that.
• 1:34:02
  What just happened? Sorry, Jimmy.
• 1:34:04
  Yeah. No, that would be a cool fucking
• 1:34:07
  idea, but yeah. What?
• 1:34:12
  Young bitch that's also a pillow.
• 1:34:16
  Crash out. Right now.
• 1:34:20
  I'm fuck off. I love to see trip still doing
• 1:34:23
  trip things. Yeah, she's still fucking
• 1:34:27
  retarded. She's got your this fucking.
• 1:34:30
  I hate to break it to you. Yes, I was really open.
• 1:34:41
  We'd watch. Watch it.
• 1:34:42
  Fuck. Hello.
• 1:34:45
  I'm not for sure she was. Gonna I thought what was going
• 1:34:48
  to happen? I did too.
• 1:34:53
  Right now you have a SEC. You know what?
• 1:34:58
  The dumb warhead. Oh, you mean fucking dopey I'm.
• 1:35:04
  Dopey. What this is my beads.
• 1:35:13
  Yeah. Why do you smell like ass move?
• 1:35:24
  Anyways, yeah, I'm super down for a Viking haul.
• 1:35:28
  That'd be dope. Whatever won the lottery, dude.
• 1:35:32
  That's one of the first things I'm doing.
• 1:35:34
  Big chunk of property biking Hall.
• 1:35:36
  All right, bye. Oh damn it.
• 1:35:38
  Fucking technical disabilities. That was super weird.
• 1:35:43
  My GoPro, I haven't touched it, haven't touched anything that's
• 1:35:47
  touching it, just went Nah, I'm done and then came back up.
• 1:36:07
  It's barely on camera. Whatever what's happening, do
• 1:36:16
  it. What are you doing?
• 1:36:23
  Yeah, that's my dumb 1. Nope, Nope, There he goes.
• 1:36:27
  Your dumb one's doing exactly what the smart one was doing.
• 1:36:30
  So I don't know. I don't know what's on your
• 1:36:32
  pillow besides your dog. His asshole right now.
• 1:36:36
  Literally his asshole. You're going to get pink.
• 1:36:42
  Eye going to have to wash all. What are you staring at?
• 1:36:45
  Do you want to be in the show? You're going to be the fifth.
• 1:36:51
  Damn dude. Our honorary 4th.
• 1:36:53
  Damn dude, he's replaced by socks.
• 1:37:00
  No, I was getting worried you weren't going to get that one in
• 1:37:02
  on this episode. We're we're getting pretty out
• 1:37:04
  there. Never get an uh oh, headphones
• 1:37:09
  fall out. Dude I need to get those went
• 1:37:11
  down so quickly. So I was talking to a buddy of
• 1:37:16
  mine at work the other day and I I realized something.
• 1:37:22
  We need to normalize building a bunk room in whatever house
• 1:37:26
  you're at so that the boys have a place to crash, which is very
• 1:37:33
  in line with your Viking like long house idea.
• 1:37:39
  So I think that needs to become a normal thing.
• 1:37:41
  Yeah, I think what you just described as fucking guest room
• 1:37:45
  that most normal adults have. No, no, no.
• 1:37:50
  So a guest room has a bed. I wish I had a I'm talking about
• 1:37:53
  a room full of beds. That's not for swingers parties.
• 1:37:56
  But then how can you cuddle with the boys?
• 1:38:00
  You take all the mattresses off of the beds and put them in the
• 1:38:03
  middle of the room. Mega bag.
• 1:38:11
  We can sleep in a real pile like and Where the Wild Things Are.
• 1:38:19
  Dude I loved that book growing up.
• 1:38:21
  I hated watching that movie when they came out with like the the
• 1:38:25
  live action style Where the wild things are.
• 1:38:29
  It. Was it was kind of weird.
• 1:38:32
  Yeah, and I remember it being sad at the end.
• 1:38:39
  Oh. OK.
• 1:38:43
  But yeah, all right, we've blown through a lot of bullshit topics
• 1:38:47
  tonight, and I think this was a good palate cleanse from last
• 1:38:52
  week's episode. Definitely well needed.
• 1:38:57
  Yeah, I'm glad we had last week's episode.
• 1:39:00
  I'm glad we did the vet questionnaire.
• 1:39:04
  But you definitely can't do that every week and you need to, you
• 1:39:07
  need to change it up a little bit.
• 1:39:09
  So we're still going to do those.
• 1:39:12
  The episodes, like episode 16, we're not going to shy away from
• 1:39:16
  those topics. We're not going to avoid them,
• 1:39:18
  but hopefully we don't get to a point where we have like three
• 1:39:22
  of them in a row because I'll have to like I'll take a break
• 1:39:24
  from the shit for a little bit. Yeah, that would require me and
• 1:39:28
  not be sober, so yeah. Yeah, but it was good.
• 1:39:37
  And Jimmy, good job on putting that questionnaire together, man
• 1:39:40
  those. 100%. Oh yeah, I appreciate that.
• 1:39:45
  I hated every second of it, but it was good.
• 1:39:50
  Yeah, that's a good. All right, Jimmy, you got any
• 1:39:53
  any save rounds, Alibis, final. Well, actually, let's make me
• 1:39:57
  not totally a liar. Does anybody have submission for
• 1:40:03
  fourth? Damn dude of the the week ish
• 1:40:06
  whatever the fuck we're doing this from.
• 1:40:10
  Our viewers. Yeah, nobody said anything yet
• 1:40:14
  because I don't think anybody's listened to that episode all the
• 1:40:17
  way through because two hours is a long fucking episode to get
• 1:40:20
  all the way to the end of, and that was the last like 2 minutes
• 1:40:23
  of it. OK.
• 1:40:27
  It's, I've noticed that when you try to, I definitely want to
• 1:40:34
  reach out and challenge the listeners to engage and stuff
• 1:40:38
  like that. But more often than not they
• 1:40:42
  don't only because you know, they're driving and stuff like
• 1:40:49
  that. But every once in a while you'll
• 1:40:50
  have somebody reach out. But it's pretty, pretty few and
• 1:40:55
  far in between. But it's definitely something
• 1:40:57
  cool that we want to keep open for everybody to do.
• 1:41:03
  So if you you guys do have a shout out, you know, send it our
• 1:41:07
  way and we'll do it. Well I I have one just out of
• 1:41:18
  the other old back pocket to to kick this thing off and it's
• 1:41:27
  it's this week's honorary 4th. Damn dude is Maddie literally
• 1:41:34
  for the comment she made about Jimmy's ass in the recap?
• 1:41:40
  Yeah, I second that. OK.
• 1:41:42
  Thanks. All right, now any final
• 1:41:52
  thoughts? Save grounds, alibis?
• 1:41:54
  Jimmy, you got anything? No, I'm I'm pretty beat.
• 1:42:00
  Yeah, Gavin, you got anything? Just don't be an asshole.
• 1:42:08
  Yeah, that's fair. Don't.
• 1:42:23
  Well remember to this is your weekly reminder to reach out to
• 1:42:27
  the boys, the goons, the dudes, people you went through the suck
• 1:42:30
  with. Stay in touch, check on your
• 1:42:31
  friends, and final thought is don't piss into the wind.
• 1:42:39
  All right. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:42:41
  No, that's that's fair. Yep.
• 1:42:44
  So here's your PSA and this has been whatever episode around but
• 1:42:49
  another one of the Three Damn Dudes podcast.
• 1:42:52
  Cheers y'all.