Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / Autism Burnout

Transcript

Autism Burnout · Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD

• 0:00
  In this video, I'm talking about creator burnout and burnouts for
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  people on the autism spectrum in general, with my friend Zach
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  James coming up. Hey guys, welcome back to the
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  ASP world. My name is Dan.
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  I have autism, ADHD, OCD and dyslexia.
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  And I'm making weekly videos on this type of content.
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  So if you're new around here and you want to learn more, remember
• 0:24
  to the subscribe button. Oh, also, anybody who's watching
• 0:26
  over on Facebook, we should give this page a like in a follow to
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  see daily uploads, right? So as you can see, I have
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  somebody with me on the show today in this, in this episode.
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  This is Zach James. He actually runs.
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  You run like a few different channels, don't you?
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  Do you run? Yeah.
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  How many channels? I would say two that we're very
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  known for, publicly known for, and Yo Mama's probably our most
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  popular YouTube channel. The, the big one, the big boy, I
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  think you guys are like boasting like millions on that.
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  We got like 4,000,005 million. Where you go?
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  Be honest, I haven't really kept track in a while.
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  I'm guessing and I would say we're close to 5 million, we're
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  getting there. It's so good.
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  I have like 122,000 subscribers. Yellow.
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  I'll get that though. We'll get a million.
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  Don't worry about it. We'll do it somehow.
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  We're going to, we're going to do it.
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  Don't worry you, you guys. And we're all going to do it.
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  But no, it's dope. I love seeing it.
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  I love seeing awesome creative people and then I love seeing
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  successful creatives. I just guess my Jesus one.
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  So right. So I was talking to Zach.
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  It's pretty crazy actually. So I I started following Zach
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  and somebody said, hey, check out his stuff.
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  He's funny and whatever. And like his Instagram is dope
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  and his Instagram is also private, which I find quite
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  interesting. So I followed you on Instagram
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  and then you sent me a DM saying like, hey, somebody just talking
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  about you on my channel. And I was like, what?
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  How weird is that? Right?
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  So we then we're just talking and, you know, shooting the
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  convo about autism in general. And we both happen to be
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  Youtubers and we're both on the spectrum and that's kind of,
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  that's crazy cool, right? And so we decided that we would
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  do this video talking about like autism burnout, but from like a
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  creative aspect, I think that's going to be really cool because
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  I think like there's there's so much you can take away from this
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  and there's so much conversations we had, I thought
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  be a really cool conversation. Isn't that right, Zach?
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  Yes, that it's very much so. Zach also has a deeper voice
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  than me. So I'm like the chipmunk over
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  here. And zap's like the he's like the
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  baritone guy from the What's that band?
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  You know, what's that band called?
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  The oh God, they were like a something phonic.
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  Oh, I can't remember the name now.
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  They're like a YouTube band. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
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  Pentatonics. Pentatonics.
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  Yeah, they did the Lindsey Stirling Club, right?
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  Yeah, yeah, they did. They did.
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  They did a bunch of stuff. Man.
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  They're crazy. But you say you like a baritone
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  singer from that. His name is Alvey, I think.
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  Or something like that. Or Alvey.
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  Anyway, this is besides the point.
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  So I I prepared like a list of discussion topics slash
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  questions I guess you could interpret as questions that
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  means I couldn't discuss about autism burnout because I think
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  like both of us being creators at work, like self-employed,
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  working at home and like working on YouTube, it's so it's like
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  it's like a mile away from any other job I've ever done in my
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  life. And there's some really
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  interesting takeaways in it. And Zach, like I don't know if
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  you don't know what videos you've seen in mind, but a
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  couple months ago I did a video where I was I was talking about
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  one of the biggest things that like impacts me.
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  This isn't my discussion list. This is just something that I
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  just thought off the top of my head.
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  What I'm thinking about is that how lonely this job can be.
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  Like, I just feel like sometimes I'm sitting here on my own
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  talking to his camera thinking I'm the only one in this room.
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  Like I've been in here for 8 hours.
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  I'm going a bit crazy, so I don't know if you feel that.
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  You know, I would say that honestly, I've always managed.
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  It's probably the way of handling autism growing up,
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  because I grew up moving around the world.
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  I grew up in about 26 other countries and that happened
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  between the age of four to the age of 15, and that really
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  forced me to get used to a lot of different environments from a
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  lot of different people and just being comfortable with myself in
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  general. So I guess in a lot of ways, no
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  matter the environment I was in, I could be comfortable with
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  myself and if I wanted to be with people, I knew how to make
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  that work. So in the early days of YouTube,
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  10 years ago, me and a group of us other Youtubers would just
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  hang out and Skype calls for like 10-12 hours a day, just
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  sitting there working on our own videos and just kind of talking
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  to each other. Fast forward today, we're still
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  friends. A lot of us moved up in the
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  industry and hold really key interesting positions, some of
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  our executives now. And so it's really cool to have
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  those friendships and connections that may not have
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  existed. If not would be idea of why not
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  just have a Skype call that can last all day.
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  So maybe that's something I would do in your position, you
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  know, I I think a lot of YouTube, you know, just get a
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  Discord chat going, you know, get everybody into a Discord
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  chat and you don't have to have a topic discussed and just kind
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  of shoot this shit, yeah. Yeah, just be there in the
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  that's that's an excellent. I used to do the same thing when
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  I was in university or college. If you're if you're American, I
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  did the same thing. I had like an open kind of Skype
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  call going all off the night with my friend who was also on
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  my call. So we just like talk and we'd be
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  doing some work. But like, oh, hey, did you get
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  this answer right? And that was kind of cool.
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  That worked really well. But I never really thought about
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  it like that. And I think that's a great idea
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  because then you're always kind of connected to somebody because
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  it does. I do feel like I get kind of
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  lonely. I just it's super like this.
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  Unmotivating sometimes at the best of times.
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  Especially with today's world, right?
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  You know, with this whole situation that we're currently
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  dealing with, and I think seeing how society as a whole has
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  adapted and taken on solutions like zoom meetings, but not just
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  zoom meetings for company calls, but hey, let's all get on and do
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  a power hour with each other and see how many beers we can drink
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  before the hour is up. And so seeing society take on
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  that, like evolution of being alone but not being alone is a
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  good road map for anybody who feels alone, regardless of the
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  situation we're currently in this the world.
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  Yeah, I know 100%. Like it's it's, it's super
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  important and I guess it's important to like kind of find
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  ways around like not feeling so lonely, right.
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  And I guess that's, that's super interesting, right.
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  So on to the actual top of the discussion.
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  So this is an interesting one. We spoke briefly about this
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  yesterday and I I was talking about Jimmy from Mr. Beast and I
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  was saying that Jimmy to me looks like a typical guy who's
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  on the spectrum. Like I relate so much to him and
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  a lot of what he does and how he makes his content.
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  I'm like, that guy's totally on the spectrum, but this is a
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  question and for discussion. Why do you think?
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  Because I know a lot of Youtubers are on the spectrum.
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  Why do you think there are a bunch of people who are on the
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  spectrum? Up come Youtubers or vice versa?
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  Why do you think Youtubers are on the spectrum?
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  I think it's the versatility to be able to apply yourself in a
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  very welcoming environment that's also challenging but
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  challenging in a way that seems to spark our interests.
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  It's kind of like a like a a creative problem solving
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  environment, right? Exactly.
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  That's what that was a big thing for me.
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  I saw it as like the opportunity of opportunities.
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  I knew it was going to be challenging, but I was like,
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  this is better than going to law school and then going to
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  politics. I already see the next 20 years
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  of my life down that direction. Cool.
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  Yeah, I could knock it out of the park, but I rather do
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  something that's a bit a bit more crazy, yeah.
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  Yeah, no, I I I relate. I I think that's amazing.
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  And like there's something there's something about YouTube
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  that like makes it. I think it's this whole, like
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  it's boundary less. It's borderless.
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  It has this ability where you can be anybody and just put that
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  out there. It's the only job I've ever had
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  that I've stuck out for longer than a few months and it kind of
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  like has this. I don't know.
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  There's there's like a almost like a, I don't know, like a
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  magnetic appeal to it. I don't know if you get that,
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  like where like I'm feel drawn to it.
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  Like there's something about it. Like when when I think about
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  creating something, when I think about making something, it's
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  like, oh, I can make a video on that.
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  Oh, I could make this like, you know, it's the outlet from my
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  brain to exercise its kind of creativeness.
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  You know, in a lot of ways I would say it's like there's a
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  magnetic appeal, but it almost feels like a gravitational
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  slingshot. You know, like the way they can
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  slingshot like the rocket before they send it off to like, you
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  know, space. Yeah, exactly.
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  And to me, that's that's really what it is.
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  It's like, there's this entity, there's this environment that
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  can pull in my creativity, but I instead of like it, stuck in it.
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  It like can swing slot me back out into the world and I can
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  take something away with it and just have fun with it too at the
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  same time. Yeah, no, totally.
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  And I think, like, it's just, it's just so good for creative
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  brains. And I think that a lot of people
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  on the autism spectrum are super creative, that it just kind of
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  just has this married approach where it just works perfectly
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  and everybody has a good time. So.
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  So here's the thing, we're talking about burnout, right?
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  We're going to go on to a bit more burnout stuff.
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  But so do you think there's such thing as working too much right?
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  Because I don't know what your working hours are.
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  Mine are crazy. Like crazy.
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  Oh yeah, mine's. I haven't even gone to bed.
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  Yet. Oh my God.
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  Actually, I woke up. What's I'm trying to remember
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  when I woke up? When did I wake up?
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  I woke up yesterday at 11:00 in the morning.
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  So I've been up for about 21 hours now, 21 1/2 hours.
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  He looked. And I mean, I had eight hours
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  sleep. I use ice packs.
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  They help. We can just yeah, I got a good
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  skin care routine. The thing is, I just get caught
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  up in work and I just can't stop.
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  Sometimes I literally will fall asleep with my laptop sitting on
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  my chest and then I'll then suddenly I'll try to wake up and
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  then hit me in the head. I'm like, what is going on here?
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  Yeah, I get that where sometimes I forget to eat as well and my
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  girlfriend's like, dude, well, we're going to eat a lot.
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  I'm like, oh shoot, I didn't even think about it.
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  You know, like it's I'm drinking as well.
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  I have to make an alarm to say, like, remember to take regular
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  breaks to eat and drink because that's a huge one.
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  But I think in terms of working too much where I got what point
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  do you think you go, OK, enough is enough.
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  I need to take some time. What do you what do you think
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  that, like Pinnacle Point is before you get a burnout?
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  I think it's a balance of, well, first, Let's see.
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  It's important to understand why we end up working so much.
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  And I don't think it's necessarily the need to feel
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  like we have to work. But it's really the simple fact
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  that it's hard to turn off the brain, right.
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  And it's like when the brain gets going, it's like, you know,
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  work is a very easy thing to entertain the brain with.
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  And yet it does exhaust you in many ways, like emotionally
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  because it can challenge you and you don't always get that
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  reward. So I think the balance is
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  recognizing, if you're not getting that reward or instant
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  reward from your work, then you need to find the opportunity to
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  reward yourself. You don't have a very good
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  point. You don't necessarily turn off
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  the brain. Like I got a bunch of like these
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  McFarland Lego toys, things you know, from like Rick and Morty
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  and and us South Park. Yeah, like, I'll show you like
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  this. Like, I got a bunch of these
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  that I haven't built yet, but if I need to, like, take a break,
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  but I want to turn off my brain, I'll just.
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  I want to open one of these in this building for like an hour
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  and I'll feel good. I'll feel refreshed.
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  I get you. I get you there because I do the
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  same thing and with like research, because like research
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  is like my big thing. I love research and stuff.
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  So like, I'll because I always have to be learning.
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  I don't know if you're the same like I always have to learn
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  stuff. Like my brain is never full.
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  It's like it's like thirsty all the time.
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  So I I have a point where I'm like I'm freaking out because
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  I'm trying to edit and the edit's not going right.
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  And I'm thinking, OK, I need to take time off and just learn
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  about like, you know, zero point energy or quantum vacuum energy
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  or, you know, or something like like that.
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  And I think, I think you're absolutely bang on the money.
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  I never even realized. I just, I just did it, you know?
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  But like my brain just went that way.
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  But it did get I have this, like, almost like a guilt.
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  Sometimes when I'm doing stuff like researching for leisure, I
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  always think like, oh, I can be deemed something super
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  productive right now. And then I have this, like, you
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  know, this argument with myself, like should I be, you know, And
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  that's when I get burnt out. Yeah, I would say that really
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  gets to well. There's a couple of different
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  times that gets me drunk out, right?
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  Me as like that. Me as a person trying to juggle
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  all the things they want to do throughout the day and being
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  able to focus and not get caught up in the thrill or something
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  else, yeah, I can get burnt out myself.
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  And then I as like a company man who works in a very hostile
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  environment. And when I say hostile
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  environment, like you have to realize companies like BuzzFeed
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  did not meet their their own projections and they had to,
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  they had to like layoff people. So yeah, yeah, I run a company.
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  Luckily my company is just too small to fail.
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  I never lay off anybody. But I deal with challenges every
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  day with YouTube's algorithm and challenges that I know that I
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  should not have to deal with if there was transparency.
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  And that's where I get burnt out Because I think a lot of times
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  as an autistic person, I get burnt out when I'm not being
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  communicated with and when YouTube is not communicating
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  with me on how the platform works.
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  It burns me out because I know I do what, I know what my click
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  through rates are. I know what my watch time is.
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  I know what my audience retention is.
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  I I studied, I know that we upload every single day.
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  I know what we're doing right and is a sucks that something
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  like the word yo Mama can Ding me so hard because people get
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  sent home from reviewing videos during COVID-19 that can burn me
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  out. See, Circumstances I can't
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  control can really burn me out. I totally hear you there, dude.
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  Because that's like that. That is kind of like almost like
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  you get to a point where there's no transparency or clear
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  communication. You get to a point where you're
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  just literally going around in circles.
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  And then and it's that frustrating thing and you think,
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  oh, maybe it's no, no, no, it's not that.
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  It that is like probably the worst.
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  And I totally understand where you're coming from there and I
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  do love that whole algorithm challenge.
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  I love it as a puzzle and I love all that that stuff and and I'm
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  really into that so we could always have another conversation
• 14:35
  about that but like, but in terms of like my my next
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  question is like how do you know if you're heading towards a
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  burner but I guess you kind of just covered that you know your
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  your you see kind of hallmarks don't you?
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  You see, like I'm not getting clear.
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  I'm not getting clear definition here I you start to feel
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  uncomfortable, right? Yeah.
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  And I think is also understanding that you as a
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  human being, you have to, well, ideally you eat every day.
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  We sometimes forget to eat, but ideally you eat every day and
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  you, you take care of yourself every day, right?
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  So I always think of what am I going to reward myself with.
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  That's not like food or anything else that nature.
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  Like what is my my reward? What is my project?
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  What is my thing that's going to make me feel like I accomplished
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  something one day? It could be laying down wooden
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  floor for my balcony because I'm changing it into like a garden,
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  or just making sure I clean my apartment, or just making sure I
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  can get into that extra Rep when I work out.
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  Little things like that that make me feel like I accomplish
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  more as a person and not necessarily feel like work is
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  all that makes me as a person. Sure.
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  Because, yeah, because it is, it is that kind of like balance.
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  And I guess I do that sometimes where I I put like working out
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  like I should go like I love running.
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  I love run for like maybe 2 to 4 miles like when I go out
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  running. And so sometimes I I I get so
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  involved in like a project and I'm, I'm working and I'm taking
• 16:00
  on all this stuff that I put this the running aside.
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  And then when I'm not running then I start to kind of get
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  really down on myself. And then I I'm thinking, and
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  like you said, it's that reward of doing those things that
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  you're not rewarding yourself. And so you know you're heading
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  towards a slippery slope if you stop the reward, right?
• 16:15
  Exactly. And and I think a lot of times
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  we kind of limit ourselves, too. I found that, like, I often
• 16:24
  limit myself when it comes to how I reward myself.
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  I mean, look, you don't have to I I kind of deal with anxiety in
• 16:34
  a lot of ways. But I've also, I I think in a
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  lot of ways, having grown up around the world, I've dealt
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  with the benefits of, like, never.
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  I guess for me, I don't really associate things to certain
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  terminologies. Like, I know that they are real,
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  they have real meaning and that they are 100% what they are.
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  But for me, as the individual that I am, I look at my anxiety
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  and I'm like, I that's not anxiety.
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  I never called it anxiety. I just called it like, oh,
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  that's a weird, stupid feeling and I hate it.
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  But you know, I've done it enough, I've dealt with it
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  enough. I know how to get over it.
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  So you know, look, I'm going to reward myself and I'm going to
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  deal with the anxiety of going to the airport, hop on a plane,
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  flight 10 hours of Sweden and just have a really great time
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  with a really good looking girl. Because why not?
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  Why not do that? Yeah, yeah, why not, dude?
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  Why not? Absolutely.
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  So this is, this is kind of like leading on to my last and final
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  question for this, this cool video.
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  It's kind of like, you know, from recovery from having a
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  burnout or experiencing burnout, What do you'd say would be good
• 17:35
  and safe working strategies? Like how would it be that?
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  Would it be like taking that time and having like an
• 17:40
  excessive reward like a vacation or?
• 17:43
  I think, well, I think in a lot of ways you you have to also
• 17:50
  acknowledge that burnout is always going to be part of the
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  process, right. I'm, I would say probably the
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  biggest thing that I ever because I come from a very
• 18:02
  interesting family where my parents were two different
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  generations like 16. My they were 16 years and age
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  apart. So it's really cool to have like
• 18:12
  that perspective. They both got along really well.
• 18:15
  They get along really well. But my stepfather was definitely
• 18:18
  like you know look you you take, you got to grab life like the
• 18:21
  balls, right. He comes from that generation.
• 18:24
  That's is what that is. But my mother came from like
• 18:26
  kind of post hippie generation. So he's more of a gentle type
• 18:32
  person. And so I when I deal with
• 18:35
  burnout or when I deal with anything that kind of makes me
• 18:37
  afraid or it's going to stress me out.
• 18:39
  I don't get, I mean, I I do get. I will get discouraged for a
• 18:43
  moment, but I don't let that turn me off, right.
• 18:47
  And I think what a lot of creators, from my observation
• 18:50
  and this from people I've known, they get so emotionally invested
• 18:54
  in what they do that when they get burnt out, they completely
• 18:59
  get the scarce, they're burnt, 100% burnt, right.
• 19:03
  But when I look at getting burnt out, I'm like, OK, that's good
• 19:06
  because you know, every great forest is born from a forest
• 19:09
  fire. That's just what it is.
• 19:12
  So you got to burn that shit out.
• 19:14
  You got to get rid of all the stuff that doesn't.
• 19:16
  Yeah. If it doesn't work, get rid of
• 19:17
  it. Yeah.
• 19:20
  Embrace. It it's like a embrace what you
• 19:24
  can't ignore, right. So like it it's it's just a fact
• 19:28
  of the matter, but also the safe ways of doing it.
• 19:30
  And I think that you're absolutely right.
• 19:31
  And there's some great advice, actually.
• 19:33
  The I'm still amazed by the whole Skype conversation thing.
• 19:36
  Such a simple thing that I've even done and I didn't even
• 19:38
  think about doing it, you know, for work.
• 19:40
  Oh my goodness. Come on, Dad.
• 19:41
  You know Jesus anyway, right? Zach, thank you so much for
• 19:45
  taking this time to have this discussion with me.
• 19:46
  I think that's going to be super beneficial for everybody
• 19:48
  listening on the podcast. I'm on YouTube right now and I
• 19:50
  think that this is just a great episode and you're doing a video
• 19:54
  on your own channel, aren't you, About autism or something very
• 19:56
  soon. Maybe tomorrow or the day after
• 19:58
  or something. Yes, definitely within the next
• 20:03
  2448 hours it's, yeah, you know, I've always been open about it,
• 20:09
  but I think. You know, for a lot of people,
• 20:11
  you know, who watch the Yo Mama Channel, they're not quite aware
• 20:14
  who exactly makes that type of show.
• 20:17
  And yeah, yeah, maybe cool too. I think the fans would really
• 20:21
  appreciate it. Yeah, me too, dude.
• 20:23
  And I think, like, you'll be surprised.
• 20:24
  I always feel like people like, I watch certain shows and then I
• 20:28
  realize that the people that make the shows are on the
• 20:30
  spectrum. I'm thinking, no wonder I was
• 20:31
  sort of trying to make the show right.
• 20:32
  So you're going to have a huge amount of people be like, duh,
• 20:35
  I'm on the spectrum. It's awesome.
• 20:36
  Like, I think it's awesome, but it really is awesome.
• 20:39
  It really is. Anyway, right.
• 20:41
  Suck. Thanks so much for coming on the
• 20:42
  show, man. You're awesome.
• 20:43
  I'll. Hey, thank you for having me.
• 20:44
  I appreciate it. Anytime, buddy.
• 20:46
  All right, take it easy.