Latest / Son of a Boy Dad / Life After Brain Surgery feat. Sam Tallent - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 107

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Life After Brain Surgery feat. Sam Tallent - Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 107 · Son of a Boy Dad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: Hey Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half
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  Speaker 4: Man, I'll tell you what, when you're hungry out there,
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: you started acting like a rookie quarterback in his first game,
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: making bad decisions, messing up the basics, being all out
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: of sorts. That's where Snickers comes in.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Man.
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  Speaker 4: That thing is packed roasted peanuts, nugget, carmel, milk, chocolate.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: It's like the MVP candy bars, and when you bite
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: into it, boom, it sorts you out. Get your head
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this,
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: Snickers handles your hunger, so you can handle everything else.
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: Snicker satisfies man. That's a winning play. What is up guys?
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: Before we get into this episode of Son of a
• 1:19
  Speaker 5: Boy Dad Podcast, please make sure you subscribe to the episode.
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: Just go ahead and subscribe. We need more subscribers and
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: a lot of you are watching, but some of you,
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: guys are not subscribed. So why don't you go ahead
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  Speaker 5: and subscribe.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: And guess what we can tell who you are that's
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: not subscribing. So you make it a lot easier on
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  Speaker 1: yourself if you just subscribe yourself right now before you
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: have to take matters into our own hands.
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: We will find you and hunt you until you subscribe.
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: So let's get into this. Thank you. So we're here
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: with Sam Talent. Do you want me to do the intro?
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, do it intro? At least give me my intro.
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: All right, Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad Podcast.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Nice, that was it.
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: We are here with Sam Talent, comedian and author. Hell yeah, welcome,
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: Welcome on.
• 2:01
  Speaker 7: Please leave out when you're introducing me to people. I
• 2:05
  Speaker 7: don't want them to turn it off immediately. No one's
• 2:07
  Speaker 7: ever like ooh, author, cool, I better park the Zamboni's.
• 2:10
  Speaker 7: I can hear they're listening at work.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the barrier of entry to being able to write
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: a book is non existent. Like anyone could be an
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: author if they want to.
• 2:20
  Speaker 7: But you're actually a comedian too.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: But at least I feel like a comedian, Like you
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: got to get up on stage and like be in
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: front of people and like, uh, there's like people judging
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: you in the moment and if you fail, like you know,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: like I feel like an author, you could kind of
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: just like think you're successful the entire time.
• 2:36
  Speaker 7: Just be like, oh, they just don't understand me. You're
• 2:39
  Speaker 7: a stand up as well. Yeah, there's no one's listening
• 2:42
  Speaker 7: the first two years you do stand up. Really besides,
• 2:44
  Speaker 7: like guys who are more problematic than you, they're like,
• 2:46
  Speaker 7: well he said it, why can't I. You know, it's
• 2:49
  Speaker 7: the first two years of stand up. He's just lying
• 2:51
  Speaker 7: to yourself and being like, yeah, this was worth breaking
• 2:53
  Speaker 7: up with that waitress so I can be out every
• 2:55
  Speaker 7: night till two am to hang out with you know,
• 2:57
  Speaker 7: probably sex criminals, definitely.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Wait Sasine in his first two years of stand up
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 3:03
  Speaker 7: Sas came in at a different level than most people did. Yeah,
• 3:05
  Speaker 7: he came into moving seats, man, Yeah, that is crazy.
• 3:09
  Speaker 7: I didn't even realize how much he's moving seats. And
• 3:11
  Speaker 7: then I looked at like he just was like at
• 3:13
  Speaker 7: the bunch at the stand, like I like listed in
• 3:16
  Speaker 7: all these shows, Like he's like a fucking luminary on
• 3:20
  Speaker 7: the scene already.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: It's kind of it pissed me off for sure, Like
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I wasn't. I was already.
• 3:24
  Speaker 7: I was also doubtful until Gillis co signed him. Yeah,
• 3:28
  Speaker 7: I know that he doesn't fuck around with posers.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, he hates most people.
• 3:34
  Speaker 7: Pretty he hates certain population.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Which is most people. I mean more than half of
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: everybody is exactly who he hates.
• 3:46
  Speaker 7: That's so funny. We went through that ship and a
• 3:48
  Speaker 7: bunch of comics were like, I can't believe he said that,
• 3:51
  Speaker 7: And it's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
• 3:53
  Speaker 7: I've heard you say some of the worst shit ever
• 3:55
  Speaker 7: in a car ride. No one was listening, right, petty little.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: Fun At least he's trying to amuse people.
• 4:00
  Speaker 7: Yeah, like, oh, that just the fucking shot and fraud
• 4:02
  Speaker 7: involved in that with all these people who were like,
• 4:04
  Speaker 7: I would never, and it's like, oh, oh you have
• 4:07
  Speaker 7: Yeah you don't remember that ride back from fucking Gillette
• 4:09
  Speaker 7: one when you were doing that impression of that woman's lips. Yeah, yeah,
• 4:14
  Speaker 7: you would never.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: And I think doing it intentionally on stage is like
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: way more noble than doing it in a car in
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: a car ride and pretending that you didn't say it,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like at least he like
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: stood behind his words or well.
• 4:28
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and also like he was completely doing a character
• 4:31
  Speaker 7: and anyone who didn't get it was just immediately outed
• 4:33
  Speaker 7: to not understanding how comedy works.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: You know, fucking idiots.
• 4:36
  Speaker 7: There was nuance to it.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: He's fucking idiots.
• 4:39
  Speaker 7: Everyone wants to live in a binary world. Guess what,
• 4:42
  Speaker 7: there's no gender. Everyone can fuck who they want. But
• 4:44
  Speaker 7: you still want to decide when people are making statements
• 4:46
  Speaker 7: and not jokes.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Let's fucking go, Bro.
• 4:49
  Speaker 7: Eat out of my butt. I don't want to be
• 4:52
  Speaker 7: vulgar on here.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: You have to, Bro. I want to talk about your
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: rolex Bro.
• 4:58
  Speaker 7: Oh shit, this is a Bulevart.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Oh it's a Bolivar. Yeah yeah, what the hell, Rolexes?
• 5:04
  Speaker 7: I thought it was a money shit. So what's a Bowlova,
• 5:08
  Speaker 7: It's a watch your wife buys you that people are
• 5:10
  Speaker 7: impressed by, even though it costs four hundred dollars.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: It is impressive, it's nice, it's really pretty.
• 5:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah, you guys can get one of these, and any
• 5:17
  Speaker 7: Macy's that's closing around these are still in the case.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Everyone watches next to the bricks because I struggle, bro,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I got it. I'm a gold ring guy like you are,
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: and I struggle with what watch to pair with it.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: And I'm looking at that watch, I'm like, oh, that
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: kind of looks nice, glassy, right, it looks glass and
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: it goes well with the gold ring, you know what
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: I have a scratched fit bit yeah.
• 5:39
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, But that's like the whole movement amongst your
• 5:42
  Speaker 7: generation is a move away from like elegance opulence. You know.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: I don't even know why I have to say. I
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: don't move ever, it just shows me that I've gotten
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: like eight hundred steps in a full.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: It will be there.
• 5:52
  Speaker 7: Yeah. When you fucking look at your phone app and it's.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Like so devastating.
• 5:56
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, we're not sure if you're alive.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: You spent twenty hour hours a day on the phone.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean every fifteen I have one thousand, five
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: hundred steps.
• 6:06
  Speaker 7: Well, yeah, you just came out of your pod an
• 6:08
  Speaker 7: hour ago.
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah that's barely moving now. Yeah, that's like shuffling around
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: for ten minutes.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is like a turtle at the two gets
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: more steps than that.
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: It's insane.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Have four legs. Ye, that's true, of course true. You
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: start crawling around.
• 6:23
  Speaker 7: The last time you tried to do a log roll across? Yeah,
• 6:27
  Speaker 7: have you tried that? I haven't log rolled in a minute.
• 6:29
  Speaker 7: Takes it out of you, dud.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can barely sit up anymore. Broh's fucking It's terrible.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: It's just it's tight.
• 6:35
  Speaker 7: Ligaments are wounded and talked.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: And it's a wrap too. Like I don't know how
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I can get that ship back, just like a general
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: stretching regimen. I'm trying to getting in the pool. I'm trying.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I literally have a stretching appointment made today for fifty
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: five minutes of another human stretching me, and I just
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: know I'm cooked that it's not going to do ship
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: for me. Bro stretching appointment, I got a man that's.
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: They do, just stretch your legs and shit.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I got like Jim, it's on underneath this
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: so I can with them. Actually, I swear to God,
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: so I saw a man can fucking stretch me and
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: then I can pin your legs back, stand over you
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: in the eye. Asked for a tip afterwards, I swear
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: to God, they asked for a fucking twenty percent tip.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You get stretched fifty minutes. Yeah, a whole as professional.
• 7:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah. Oh, and John had a funny moment.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Say it on the mic bro.
• 7:25
  Speaker 8: Word you just had a funny moment. Not too long ago,
• 7:27
  Speaker 8: we were we heard that a pretty famous, well paid
• 7:30
  Speaker 8: comic that didn't pay his openers.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, We're like, what a fucking scumbag?
• 7:35
  Speaker 8: That guy is not paying his openers. And then we
• 7:37
  Speaker 8: thought about the last tour we were on. We're like,
• 7:39
  Speaker 8: we didn't pay our openers.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 7:45
  Speaker 7: That was counted on air boy.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: They count it out because you know, he just got
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: like fucking twenty million dollars from our school. If he
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: didn't pay you a fat, chunky change.
• 7:56
  Speaker 7: I don't want to brag. Two five dollars Bill. Let's
• 8:00
  Speaker 7: tell you know the rest of the lump is big.
• 8:04
  Speaker 7: You know, that's a very healthy.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Amount two five dollars bills.
• 8:08
  Speaker 7: Hold on, boys, I spoke a little soon.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Oh damn, yeah, holy shit.
• 8:14
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna get stretched for a couple of I'm gonna
• 8:17
  Speaker 7: put there and make it rain on your ass? Is
• 8:20
  Speaker 7: that our media and you guys pinning?
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Yet the old one hundred of that guy has my
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: fucking it band wrapped around my fucking for this area
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: is hell. Yeah, I didn't even know what it was.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I think that's the it band it band dog?
• 8:32
  Speaker 7: What is it?
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: What is it? Band?
• 8:34
  Speaker 7: It's from sitting too much, and it goes all the
• 8:37
  Speaker 7: way from like your knee all the way up into
• 8:39
  Speaker 7: your cheeks. Yeah, and it causes tightness in your lower
• 8:42
  Speaker 7: back and your shoulders, you know where.
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: I get it bad as I get it in my
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: like right, such bad posture. I get it right here,
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: back here. If I sit for too long, it's like
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: the worst pain.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: It's just nothing a phone to do.
• 8:53
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, yeah, bad bad CA's got the autistic hump. Yeah,
• 8:57
  Speaker 7: it's really bad. We're talking about this earlier.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fucking terrible.
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: Also, I play a ton of video games, but my
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: apartment is so small that I have to sit criss
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: cross Apple sauce in my bed and I lean super
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: far forward for like hours.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: That's probably good for your hip flexures though that's probably
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: stretching something. Yeah, but just not the right things really.
• 9:14
  Speaker 7: You know, it's a tough look when you're playing video
• 9:16
  Speaker 7: games in your bed Chris Cross apple sauce and you're
• 9:19
  Speaker 7: nude from the waist down. The girl walks into bring
• 9:22
  Speaker 7: you like like your girlfriend brings you like Chinese food.
• 9:25
  Speaker 7: She's like, oh yeah, the spring rolls are here, and
• 9:27
  Speaker 7: you're like, all right, I'll be right now. And your
• 9:29
  Speaker 7: dick has never been terrible. It's just a little fucking
• 9:31
  Speaker 7: baby pig nose on a nest to pube and you're
• 9:34
  Speaker 7: like swearing at kids on cod Oh that's fucking brutal. Dude.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Do you play a lot of games?
• 9:38
  Speaker 7: No? No, I had to swear it off, dude. I
• 9:41
  Speaker 7: played Red Dead Redemption the second one, and that was sick.
• 9:43
  Speaker 7: It was super good. It was beautiful work of art.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:46
  Speaker 7: I told my wife. I was like, when this comes out,
• 9:48
  Speaker 7: you're widowed for three Yeah, I need this. I don't
• 9:51
  Speaker 7: game anymore. I played that Ghost of Sashima game. Oh yeah,
• 9:54
  Speaker 7: I never got game. Yeah, you've heard it's great.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Though.
• 9:57
  Speaker 7: I went through a period where I was I was
• 9:58
  Speaker 7: reading Showgun by games Clavel, which is like an eighteen
• 10:01
  Speaker 7: hundred page epic, and then when I in between breaks
• 10:03
  Speaker 7: of that, I would be a samurai in the game.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Oh you were a Japanese as hell.
• 10:07
  Speaker 7: Bro, I went straight rowing all katanas.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: That's so fucking bad ass.
• 10:13
  Speaker 7: I was immersed, man, Yeah, did you.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Feel more Japanese outter words? Were you nice with the chopsticks? What?
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: What?
• 10:19
  Speaker 7: What?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it became of it.
• 10:21
  Speaker 7: I mean, whatever things that might have affected me were
• 10:25
  Speaker 7: probably things I wouldn't reveal on your large platform.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Is not that large? Whatever you want you guys too good?
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: Well, come on, we're OKAYFC radio.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: That's a platform. That's a I mean, look at the cash,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: look at the cash. At their fucking.
• 10:41
  Speaker 7: I don't want to be smart. This is this is
• 10:43
  Speaker 7: a very nice thing.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: The two fives was a slap in the face though.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: That's confusing with all the honey that was.
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: Just that had to have just been in the wallet,
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: and they're like, I guess we'll throw this.
• 10:52
  Speaker 7: Yeah, cracked up. It was like I got a couple
• 10:56
  Speaker 7: of five. Well, I thought that guy talks like a cartoon. Yeah,
• 11:01
  Speaker 7: so funny. I know that's a hard time listening to
• 11:03
  Speaker 7: him speak without being.
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: Like, whoa, yeah he's a ally guy.
• 11:08
  Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, like I've barely met any of y'all, Like
• 11:10
  Speaker 7: this is my first entrance into the barstool empire and
• 11:15
  Speaker 7: real nice.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, are you a bus fan?
• 11:18
  Speaker 7: No, I can't say that. I am okay.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't know if Deon Sanders coming out there was
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: going to change your life at all.
• 11:22
  Speaker 7: Oh, the city, the state is on fire with our
• 11:25
  Speaker 7: hopes and expectations. Yeah, I am so. I was going
• 11:28
  Speaker 7: to play at CU, but then I fucked myself so
• 11:30
  Speaker 7: I could not. But I'm stoked for that. Uh. I
• 11:34
  Speaker 7: stoked for them to have that guy.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: You're going to play college football?
• 11:37
  Speaker 7: Yeah, but I hurt my leg.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: No, that fucking IT band, the IT band, his fucking
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: tight ass. What the hell, bro, you're cursed.
• 11:46
  Speaker 7: But dude, Dion man Neon himself coming up there because
• 11:50
  Speaker 7: they were I mean, Colorado State University of the Rams.
• 11:52
  Speaker 7: I live in Fort Collins. They're the worst D one program.
• 11:55
  Speaker 7: And then CU was ranked like one twenty seven, really bad, terrible,
• 11:59
  Speaker 7: But yeah, he's.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Like one in ten or some ship. They're like so
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: embarrassingly bad. Dude.
• 12:03
  Speaker 7: You would call, you'd call the stadium there at See,
• 12:06
  Speaker 7: You'd call folsom Field and what times the game start
• 12:08
  Speaker 7: And they'd say, what time can you get here?
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they'd hold it up for you. Believe we're waiting
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: for guys. You hear this.
• 12:20
  Speaker 7: They gave it used to be a Mets joke. I think. Yeah,
• 12:24
  Speaker 7: Neon coming in and he's bringing everyone in with him. Dude,
• 12:26
  Speaker 7: all those trans his luggage.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Bro, he's bringing the lug and you see he's wearing
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: like fucking cowboy hats. He's like watching Yellowstone and ship
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: like that, probably wearing cowboy boots, specially.
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: He lives on like a ranch though, doesn't he He's
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: probably yeah, he probably he's waiting to put that ship on.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: Sure, that's awesome.
• 12:43
  Speaker 7: I like when a black guy starts when a cowboy hat,
• 12:45
  Speaker 7: it's awesome. Let you know that we're communicating as cultures.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. The first guy
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: to do it was a sidekick on Walker Texas Ranger.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: You know who I'm talking about.
• 12:53
  Speaker 7: You watched it go all the way back. Yeah, you're
• 12:55
  Speaker 7: going to totally just uh eradicate a history of the
• 12:58
  Speaker 7: black cowboy in the American wast and go to Walker, Texas.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: That's the first guy to do it, Not Django and James.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: It wasn't all the slaves, No, no, no, no, no,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: it was the sidekick. Yeah, Walker was actually alone. Yeah,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Pedophile himself called whoa hey, we can't call a guy
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: who pedophile? Wasn't she like thirteen? I don't think she was.
• 13:26
  Speaker 7: Get the lawyers on the horn alleged that is so crazy. No, No,
• 13:32
  Speaker 7: I'm sure he you know he didn't. I'm sure there's
• 13:34
  Speaker 7: like ten.
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: There's like ten Carl Malone jerseys circling this office right now.
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: Somewhere you like bought a bunch of one time. There's
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: a dude on the corner that sells jerseys, and one
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: day he was just selling multiple Cal Malone jersey Was.
• 13:47
  Speaker 7: It the day the news drip?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Probably? Yeah, Wow, boys, people are flocking.
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: I mean, no one else is going to buy those.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Except for I know. I mean I think a lot
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: of people don't know or don't really care give a fuck. Yeah,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: if you're a Malone fan, you're a Malone fan.
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: You don't just give up on alone because of a
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: little incident with.
• 14:06
  Speaker 7: A fourteen years There was a lot of Stockton dorks
• 14:08
  Speaker 7: that were, like I told you, they were fucking jack
• 14:11
  Speaker 7: that day.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: We were right alone award in college basketball.
• 14:15
  Speaker 9: That Gonzaga guy Timmy just wanted, oh really alone award
• 14:18
  Speaker 9: the Hottest Underage It's crazy. I think it's like the
• 14:23
  Speaker 9: best upper Classmen or something like that. You just wanted
• 14:26
  Speaker 9: this year the Karl Malone twenty twenty three awards like
• 14:28
  Speaker 9: that can't be given.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: That out crazy. This Cancel culture ship is fucking overblown.
• 14:32
  Speaker 8: Bro.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: He just fucking skated.
• 14:34
  Speaker 7: Bro.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: It is not real.
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: Karl Malone a war that is insane.
• 14:39
  Speaker 9: Dude on Gonzaga like Timmy would have the stud on
• 14:42
  Speaker 9: Gonzaga just wanted like a week ago.
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's gonna be a tough one. Tough trop just
• 14:46
  Speaker 5: putting that trope where you didn't put that trigarag. Yeah,
• 14:50
  Speaker 5: you give that one to mom. Yeah, you gott to
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: keep it up in your childhood.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: She doesn't know. Mom has no idea.
• 14:55
  Speaker 7: Maybe she got backed by alone. Maybe.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so your light skin. But what resonated with me
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: was you talking about dudes with wearing shirts, wearing shirts
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: and no pants. I'm gonna gi it's a littld fashioned
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: fun right there. Because I've been I've been getting big.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I've been big into shirt with no pants on recently
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: with my penis out. Isn't that like Winny the poo Yeah,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Donald Ducket, I'm a.
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: Big Winnie the Pooh guy. I don't take my shirt
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: doesn't come off ever? Yeah, no, not even when I'm
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: like in the bathroom, when I'm in the shower.
• 15:34
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: Well, when I get out of the shower, I put
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: a shirt on before you get back to go back
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: to my room.
• 15:39
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you got a young hot body I am.
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: It is a mess under here. Yeah, it's not a
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: young hot body.
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: Sea Monkey postures a lot of yeah, exactly exactly, a
• 15:50
  Speaker 7: lot of rolls, really, yeah, a lot of crevices. Interesting,
• 15:53
  Speaker 7: that's fun. That's good to know. Yeah, because I'm like
• 15:55
  Speaker 7: a big, old, ample bodied boy. Yeah. Man, I hate
• 15:58
  Speaker 7: one men say I'm a bad boy.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Or when sports fans call their like favorite players their
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: sweet baby boys and ship like that. That shit drives
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: me up.
• 16:09
  Speaker 7: You just start quit saying sports ball like two years ago.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Yes, and they like they tried to grow into it,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: but it doesn't work.
• 16:16
  Speaker 7: I want to bash them.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: But it is funny that our We're more disgusted with
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: our fucking upper torsos than our genitals. Oh, I've thought
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: about this before.
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: I think I would rather anyone walk in on me
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: and see my dick than see my stomach anyone a mile.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: But you're but you probably don't have this going on
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: because you're an athlete, because deep down you're a fucking
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: almost division or almost a Colorado football player.
• 16:42
  Speaker 7: No. No, I don't have a young supple cock.
• 16:46
  Speaker 10: I don't have a sweet little Indian leg over there.
• 16:50
  Speaker 10: All right, are you crazy? I don't want anyone seeing
• 16:54
  Speaker 10: me in any way. This was a face mask.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Ask a balaklava the two eye holes.
• 17:04
  Speaker 7: Yeah, no, I don't want any I don't want to
• 17:06
  Speaker 7: be surprised in any level of nudity by anyone. Yeah,
• 17:09
  Speaker 7: that is fucking my wife of eleven years.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been married eleven years.
• 17:13
  Speaker 7: Well, no, we've been together eleven years.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: But okay, how long have you been how long you've
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: been actually married.
• 17:18
  Speaker 7: Since twenty sixteen? Twenty sixteen?
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Okay in the game, folks.
• 17:23
  Speaker 11: I'm not going back to college to be your friend.
• 17:26
  Speaker 11: I'm going so I can get uber one for students.
• 17:28
  Speaker 11: It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats. I'm there
• 17:31
  Speaker 11: for zero dollar delivery fe on cheeseburgers, up to ten
• 17:34
  Speaker 11: percent off smoothies, and six percent Uber credits back on rides.
• 17:38
  Speaker 11: Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever
• 17:41
  Speaker 11: you think college is.
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: For Get Uber one for students a membership to save
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: on Uber and Uber eats. What deals this good?
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: Everyone wants to be a student joined for just four
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: ninety nine a month.
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: Savings may very eligibility and member terms apply.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Code sun. Okay, so you're gonna go for each other. Yeah,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: you're past the point and no return at this point.
• 18:00
  Speaker 7: It's what's crazy is when you think about like getting divorced,
• 18:02
  Speaker 7: Like obviously it's a fate worse than death, because I
• 18:04
  Speaker 7: truly do love and honor my wife, and I like
• 18:06
  Speaker 7: the life we have together. Fuck yes, But I think
• 18:08
  Speaker 7: that like after three months, we'd both be fine. You know,
• 18:11
  Speaker 7: she's like a young, bit t hot doctor, you know,
• 18:14
  Speaker 7: like she's a physician and liked fine waitresses.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 18:19
  Speaker 7: It's like I think that she'd land a lot better
• 18:21
  Speaker 7: than I would, but I think we'd still be getting
• 18:24
  Speaker 7: it in Otherwise, you know, God forbid, I'd rather be drowned.
• 18:28
  Speaker 7: You know than break up with her and not have
• 18:30
  Speaker 7: her in my life. But cold reality, yes, I would
• 18:33
  Speaker 7: miss our niece like yes, I would miss her family.
• 18:35
  Speaker 7: I would hate that we wouldn't be able to be together.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: But you just throw on the last Samurai crack up
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: in a more a Comma book, say you be back.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of pussy out there.
• 18:45
  Speaker 7: When I quit crying after a year and a half,
• 18:47
  Speaker 7: I might be able to ejaculate immediately inside of him.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: You get right back on that fucking horse.
• 18:52
  Speaker 7: Bro, My wife's sent.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Riffing, sam that's plenty of fucking riffing to be doing. Hell, yes, bro, Yeah,
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I'm about it. I'm like two years into the game.
• 19:05
  Speaker 7: Congratulations.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I'm past the point of no return
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, but I like that you said that
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: you love and honor your wife. I feel like that's uh,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: you know you were You're serious about it. I'm dead serious.
• 19:17
  Speaker 7: Yeas in a career and in a life built on
• 19:20
  Speaker 7: nothing but lies an illusion that is stand up comedy professionally,
• 19:23
  Speaker 7: I take her so seriously.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Did she ever have a problem with you going out
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: into the world and doing stand up comedy at night
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: and like not being around as much now.
• 19:32
  Speaker 7: Because when we got together, she knew what it was already.
• 19:35
  Speaker 7: I was already on the road. You're on the road
• 19:37
  Speaker 7: a lot, right, I'm out every weekend. Yeah yeah, And
• 19:40
  Speaker 7: now like finally it's paying off and like, you know,
• 19:42
  Speaker 7: I'm coming home with money, which is cool. When we
• 19:45
  Speaker 7: got together, she was she was she's a doctor. Now
• 19:48
  Speaker 7: we got together, she was like a twenty year old
• 19:50
  Speaker 7: rat tail hood rat damn. Oh. Yeah, she was not
• 19:54
  Speaker 7: in school. You know, there was no aspirations to be
• 19:56
  Speaker 7: a doctor at that point.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: She was nowhere close to being a doctor. She wasn't
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: even in school.
• 20:00
  Speaker 7: She I think she had just got returned to the
• 20:02
  Speaker 7: University of Colorado, Denver and she was getting her bachelor's again.
• 20:06
  Speaker 7: But yeah, I just remember she pulled up to a
• 20:08
  Speaker 7: function with I never said that before a.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Function sound a function going Yeah, that was.
• 20:19
  Speaker 7: Because I'm just thinking of everyone who knows me being like,
• 20:21
  Speaker 7: what the hell.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: You in that city.
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: No, she showed up to a house party with two
• 20:31
  Speaker 7: bottles of coding cops syrup.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Damn. It was like two Oh, yeah, it's a lot.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: It is too much. That is a lot of cops yerrup.
• 20:38
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Hey, if you're trying to uh maybe have your
• 20:40
  Speaker 7: first out of intercourse with a big man. Maybe don't
• 20:43
  Speaker 7: get them all geeked on cops up.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: You know it all one for each of you.
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Cody crazy, you guys just split.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: The coughs r up.
• 20:51
  Speaker 7: Dude, it's such a that's such a great way to
• 20:53
  Speaker 7: get blasted copsyr up.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: That's just how do you guys both just take a bottle.
• 20:57
  Speaker 7: No, she did not actually engage with She knew that
• 21:00
  Speaker 7: I had these interests. I liked coughs her up. We
• 21:03
  Speaker 7: were doing like the dipped blunts, which doesn't actually get
• 21:06
  Speaker 7: you high because your liver has to synthesize.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: You have to drink it.
• 21:09
  Speaker 7: You have to drink it. Just a waste of codeine
• 21:12
  Speaker 7: and weed.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm sure the weeds not light when it's up
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: sitting there.
• 21:17
  Speaker 7: Like I swear, guys, hold on call another.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: We're about to be microwave. Try that bitch out.
• 21:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah damn. But yeah, so, uh, we've come a long
• 21:32
  Speaker 7: way together. So No, she's not mad because she's so driven.
• 21:34
  Speaker 7: She's been in she was in med school and now
• 21:37
  Speaker 7: she's a doctor. So the fact that I'm like widowed
• 21:39
  Speaker 7: by her hopes and dreams makes it easier for me
• 21:41
  Speaker 7: to like go out and put some money on the table.
• 21:44
  Speaker 7: You know, there's such a I just come home with
• 21:47
  Speaker 7: money and I say, here it is, and I put
• 21:48
  Speaker 7: it on the table. And she says, she.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Twins died today. I botched brain surgery. She doesn't watch.
• 22:00
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, she's also not a surgeon. That's a whole
• 22:03
  Speaker 7: different thing, man, a.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: Whole different types of doctors. Yeah, they're the meanest and
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: like most narcissistic human beings. Yeah, they're always they're they're
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: cheating on their fucking wives.
• 22:13
  Speaker 7: Broth.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Those dudes are one hundred percent cheating on their surgeons. Yeah,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: especially brain surgeons.
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: I don't think I've ever met a surgeon.
• 22:20
  Speaker 7: I have, and let me tell you, their hands are
• 22:22
  Speaker 7: in every pot. Yeah, they're goosen people. Yeah know, they're
• 22:26
  Speaker 7: playing warm up my face.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, was getting the fucked by this surgeon. Yeah he
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: was ruthless. Now my wife works at the hospital over here,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: and she says, all the fucking brain surgeons are like
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: the most narcissistic, the worst people, because they literally play
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: god though.
• 22:42
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yea heart surgeon and brain surgeon. You're saving people's lives,
• 22:45
  Speaker 7: you're giving them more life, more time, on earth. Yeah,
• 22:47
  Speaker 7: they get a little cock.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Or if you're like a little bit rude with them,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: they're like snipping your cerebral cortex. Like it's fucking nothing,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: like whoopsies.
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: You're gonna smell colors.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Shouldn't have talked back to me. No more violin for you,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: No more Spanish.
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: Has ever seen that NPR thing where the dude had
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: brain surgery and he came out and he was just
• 23:06
  Speaker 5: a pedophile. Like a month later, a month later, a
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: month later that like the FBI rated his house and
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: they had like he had like two terabytes of child
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: porn on his laptop and it was it never happened
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: before the brain surt.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: No way he got two terribites that fast. It was fast.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: I get you a terribyte.
• 23:23
  Speaker 7: Yeah, he's got a laptop in the desert somewhere.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Two terribies. Just so much, Bro, you're preparing for nuclear
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: fallout of masturbating if you need two terribytes of child porn.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Dude so crazy.
• 23:41
  Speaker 7: I can imagine looking obviously at any child porn ever
• 23:43
  Speaker 7: without being completely revulsed and want to throw up. But
• 23:46
  Speaker 7: where do you get to the point where you're like.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: They always have so much for me. Yeah, I know
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I need all women. It's like that tea. It's like
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: card collectors who are like ripping a pack like they
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: just buy like a bunch of a new terrifytes, Like
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: what's this whole terrifying deep ass massive terrified child.
• 24:10
  Speaker 7: Forn what a what a delightful way to put it.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: Duds like sprinting into a Walmart to try and get
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: the new pack of tops child porns.
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: This dude's so crazy though, you really you never hear
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: about someone just getting busted with a little bit.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: It's a sprinkle. They've always got it all. I mean,
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: how much is out there? Two terribites is a lot.
• 24:31
  Speaker 7: I bet there's a lot more than that.
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: At least three live in a sad world.
• 24:35
  Speaker 7: Yeah, full of pain.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is crazy that they're packaging it like that
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: in bundles. They're bundling it like they put it on
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: a terrribyte together like it's not loose, like someone else
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: has like taking the time to put a bow on
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: it like a welcome basket.
• 24:53
  Speaker 7: Someone drops that zip file like hey, curre your schedule.
• 24:58
  Speaker 7: This ship from the.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Philippines dense aspect, it's bro God, it is crazy despicable.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: It is. It's so it's.
• 25:07
  Speaker 5: So bad, especially if a brain surgeon just decides to
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: make you like that one.
• 25:11
  Speaker 7: Yeah guy at his job, Yeah, maybe he's the perfect
• 25:15
  Speaker 7: He was like, I just want someone to talk to, Yeah,
• 25:18
  Speaker 7: a friend.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's someone to give this terabyte too. He's shorts here.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: He slips his card into the guy's shoulders.
• 25:29
  Speaker 7: Yeah, he pulled it out of your nose in about
• 25:31
  Speaker 7: three weeks.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: That's crazy that you're like one wire from being crossed
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: in your brain away from it though. Yeah, like that
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: he was on the verge of it, and all it
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: took was like just like the red to blue wire,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: like you're diffusing a bomb and he was just in
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: It's insane. Yeah. I did hear about that guy though, Yeah.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: And then I think that he had like a pretty
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: compelling court case. I don't think he got it.
• 25:52
  Speaker 7: I don't think he got in trouble, yeah, because he
• 25:54
  Speaker 7: like wasn't confident to stay in trial for that. Yeah,
• 25:57
  Speaker 7: actually being a scrambled egg. Yeah, yeah, they fucked him up.
• 26:00
  Speaker 7: And also people who like get like I want to say,
• 26:02
  Speaker 7: it's MS and they all become like compulsive gamblers. People
• 26:06
  Speaker 7: get these weird brain diseases and all of a sudden,
• 26:08
  Speaker 7: it's like can't leave the casino really.
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: Like alters their brain completely. It's insane.
• 26:13
  Speaker 7: Maybe it's the medicine, but either way, there's like all
• 26:15
  Speaker 7: these old ladies who just like blow their mortgages on
• 26:18
  Speaker 7: slot machines and they're like dying of very slow death
• 26:20
  Speaker 7: where they're like bones become wood, you know, like.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: And they have like the oxygen in the oxygen and
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: the cigarette in the casino and like the moo moo
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: and the walker and the child porn. Yeah, it's like
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: a web TV.
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: It's a whole the tad brain surgery. It's like a
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: fucking going home package, Like don't open this till you
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: get home.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: It's a starter path.
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: Don't open this until you get home.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Like the Oscar baskets. Yeah, like we get it a
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: bowl game. You're when you're a college description.
• 26:57
  Speaker 7: To Disney kids, you're gonna need that. You don't know
• 27:00
  Speaker 7: why right now?
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: That is fucking four hours. Does it not happen to women? Yeah,
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: they all become hot teachers.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly like that. Everyone's their students. This is terrible.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Is it just because they don't really know that much?
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: About computers. They don't know how to get a terrorbyte downloaded.
• 27:16
  Speaker 7: Or like a digital divide, women pedophilia.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: Thank god, bro, they better thank their lucky stars. Dude.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: I watched the movie Women Talking yesterday because I was
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: trying to check off all of the Oscar movies, all
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: the Oscar movies, and I've never felt so bad after
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: watching a movie. It made me feel so down, depressed
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: and sad iver seen it. It's so imagine talk, That's
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: all it was.
• 27:42
  Speaker 7: Bro.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just such a fucking like oh man,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: just a depressing mess of like I guess men are terrible.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but but they put a lot of
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: crimes on all of us that maybe all of us
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: didn't commit, Like it.
• 27:58
  Speaker 7: Was like an sv Pursue episode. Y.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the only redeeming quality that movie was. You
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: watched it?
• 28:09
  Speaker 7: Yeah, because I want to do the same thing where
• 28:10
  Speaker 7: I watched every one of the movies.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: Right and just be like, Okay, I'm gonna make up
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: my own opinion. And I really liked every movie, and
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: I felt bad about not liking this one because the
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: premises or like the title is even so like on
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: the nose, like oh you don't like this movie, like
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: you don't like women, like you don't want women to
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: talk like I want it so badly for profiling reasons
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: to like it, but I fucking hated it.
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, what is it about?
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: It's like it's like a reclusive colony of women that
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: like men are basically like drugging them and committing like
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: a crime to them. It's like every man is doing
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: it and it's happening to everyone.
• 28:49
  Speaker 7: Make them kind of like comparing notes on how just
• 28:51
  Speaker 7: deprave the acts they were committed against them are and.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Then deciding what to do about it.
• 28:56
  Speaker 7: It's so well, they won't shut up about it.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: Get over what is this the bus?
• 29:08
  Speaker 7: Lord?
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: Dude? I saw that this weekend, and then I went
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: to the fucking m the Michael Jackson Broadway play where
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: he fucking uh Fox kids, it's Collie Culkin's ass on.
• 29:24
  Speaker 5: You guys see that video of Acaulay Culkin pushing him
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: off the diving board.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I just saw it the other day. Michael Jackson off Yeah,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: no way.
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: It jumps in and they're like playing in the pool.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: Really.
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, just came upon like my reddit the other day.
• 29:39
  Speaker 7: No, you need to get offline. Yeah, what the hell,
• 29:42
  Speaker 7: you suggested Algo who is filming that love this remember
• 29:49
  Speaker 7: that chest name the heading video, sem I.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: You're gonna fucking love this ship.
• 29:57
  Speaker 12: Let's talk about golf season is in full wing and
• 30:00
  Speaker 12: getting out there to work on your game is bound
• 30:02
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• 30:05
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• 30:09
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• 30:14
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• 30:19
  Speaker 12: Chevy Equinox EV will put a smile on your face
• 30:21
  Speaker 12: no matter how your scorecard shakes out.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: But that even that one was like, uh, there's like
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: a part in in the play where he's like, uh,
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: like Kurt Cobain is like Nirvana's winning all these Grammies
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: and they can't even sing or dance at all, and
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: like there's like these black women behind me that are
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: like like, I know that's right, just like completely shitting
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: on Kurt Cobain for fucking no reason. Dude, Kurt Cobain
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: is dead and never fucked any kids, and they're just
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: taking time out of their busy Pert Cobain shit on Cobain.
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: There was like a or No, Kirk, he didn't, but
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: he almost fucked us down syndrome girl, he did.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 31:02
  Speaker 7: That's why the least fun facts I've ever heard just
• 31:07
  Speaker 7: keep coming out of You.
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: Called him retard fucker when he was in high school. Yes, dude,
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: I've never seen the Cobain documentary.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Maybe the hey was justified in this.
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: No, no, but he didn't.
• 31:28
  Speaker 7: They also called me that.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I love but that I think that you didn't fuck
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: the girl. You went over you fucking where's his parade? Yeah?
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Where's Broadway player?
• 31:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: The Broadway plays just throw me for a fucking loop, though,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Like the fact that they're just, in the best case scenario,
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: just going to do the same play, tell the same
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: story for thirty years straight. Like how fucking Cats or
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Phantom of the Opera or Chicago is just doing the
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: same show for fucking years straight and people are still
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: going and seeing it. They're just lining up to see
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: fucking Broadway shows.
• 32:06
  Speaker 7: It's crazy that people would watch people who perfected their craft. Yeah,
• 32:09
  Speaker 7: you're right, Yeah, that is nuts. They move tickets for
• 32:12
  Speaker 7: Cats after people have had the same role for twenty years.
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: I have seen that video of the kid fucking the cat.
• 32:18
  Speaker 7: Yes, and hey, I just want to end all rumors.
• 32:21
  Speaker 7: It wasn't me, all right.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Tell me fucking on the fee line.
• 32:25
  Speaker 7: It wasn't mean I couldn't fit in that. I did
• 32:30
  Speaker 7: not see this video, Ok, but I've seen all I've
• 32:34
  Speaker 7: seen the videos.
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: Oh yes, you're no good.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there was the whole one of the guy, the
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: one barstool posted it of a guy like fucking a fish,
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: and then that was like one of the early things
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: that we had to take down. It was like barstools
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: like frontal lobe developing, where we're like, hey, maybe we
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: shouldn't post everything that submitted to us. It was like
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: we we self policed that one and took down that video.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Where do they post that on the blog? Twenty sixteen
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: around when you were getting married. I don't know if
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: you remember it contextualized.
• 33:04
  Speaker 7: That was a big part of my bachelor party and
• 33:05
  Speaker 7: when that went viral, that was my first little taste
• 33:08
  Speaker 7: of fame.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: That moved a lot of tickets for me. So I
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: want to say thanks, then they take it down. It's
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: like I worked.
• 33:17
  Speaker 7: Fuck no late show in Kansas City.
• 33:20
  Speaker 5: All the fucking stool just pulled the plug.
• 33:23
  Speaker 7: Yeah. Oh, No, the money worned off.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: That is that was a fucking brutal time.
• 33:29
  Speaker 7: Man, like banging people. Yeah, I came out and get
• 33:32
  Speaker 7: to the point where you're like, give me that grouper.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: All got to be.
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: Really sick or got to be a post brain surgery
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: type time.
• 33:41
  Speaker 7: Exactly. Why couldn't have gotten the CP fuck? Only turtles
• 33:46
  Speaker 7: turned me on? Yeah, this sucks. They snapped. Kids don't taste.
• 33:49
  Speaker 5: Sometimes I don't even want to fuck kids. I just
• 33:52
  Speaker 5: want to fuck fish.
• 33:54
  Speaker 7: God damn it. I knew what I needed to get
• 33:56
  Speaker 7: a better Yeah. The guy who gets brain surgery just
• 33:58
  Speaker 7: so he has an excuse. What hey, why are you
• 34:02
  Speaker 7: get brain surgery because I'm committing the perfect crime. It's
• 34:10
  Speaker 7: called plausible deniability.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Clue in the operating room. Oh my god, that's fucking incredible, dude.
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: So, uh, you can't we talk about your book?
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Sure?
• 34:25
  Speaker 7: Man, I really I appreciate you were talking about it. Ye.
• 34:27
  Speaker 7: People kept hitting me up.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's phenomenal. I loved it.
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: It was like one of my favorite books.
• 34:32
  Speaker 7: Thanks due.
• 34:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm like, I really like like books like about people,
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: just like on the road and that's like right down
• 34:37
  Speaker 5: that alley.
• 34:38
  Speaker 7: Yeah, sure, he's really good. It's that's a nice for
• 34:41
  Speaker 7: you to say it is. It's a road novel.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: People want to like Champion it is like this or that,
• 34:45
  Speaker 7: and it's like, no, it's just seven days in a
• 34:47
  Speaker 7: guy's life.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah you know.
• 34:48
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 34:48
  Speaker 5: I also like how short of a time span it is.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:51
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and then it's all condensed, like you get a
• 34:53
  Speaker 7: good taste of his life and that's seventh. Yeah. Yeah,
• 34:55
  Speaker 7: there's also fist fights in three ways. Yeah.
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's super good. So you post something about your work,
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: like there's a screenplay being.
• 35:05
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Guardennis the Preacher, Preacher and the Boys, Yeah, who
• 35:09
  Speaker 7: I've admired forever because his comic books are fucking awesome. Yeah,
• 35:13
  Speaker 7: he wrote the screenplay. So now it's just hopefully there'll
• 35:16
  Speaker 7: be a movie soon or whatever the fuck.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's super cool. You're gonna make a bag off that.
• 35:21
  Speaker 7: Well, yes, beyond that, the world will see my magnum
• 35:27
  Speaker 7: opus as well.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: That bag.
• 35:29
  Speaker 7: Yes you hear that. Baby, You're not going anywhere. The
• 35:37
  Speaker 7: way out has come and gone. Yeah, dude, the movie
• 35:40
  Speaker 7: hopefully will be out. That'd be sick. A lot of
• 35:43
  Speaker 7: people like, like, the screenplay has been well received and
• 35:46
  Speaker 7: if the movie is good, I can say, yeah, I
• 35:48
  Speaker 7: wrote that book, and if the move's bad, I didn't
• 35:50
  Speaker 7: write the fucking screen.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's what someone else.
• 35:52
  Speaker 7: The man who gets brain surgery so he can fuck
• 35:54
  Speaker 7: his daughter. I'm untouchable everyone.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Are you?
• 35:59
  Speaker 7: Are you?
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: Do you have any like are you working on any
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: other books or anything?
• 36:02
  Speaker 7: Yeah? I've got a I've got another. I have a
• 36:03
  Speaker 7: novella that's available on Audible. It's only on Audible. Who
• 36:06
  Speaker 7: was an Audible original called at a Boy? And then uh,
• 36:09
  Speaker 7: I have like another book. I have two other books,
• 36:11
  Speaker 7: but one that I'm like about to finish.
• 36:13
  Speaker 6: Cool.
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, hell yeah?
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah you write you write a scene about a three way?
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: How horny do you get when you're writing it?
• 36:19
  Speaker 7: You should read the book man, Yeah, not be less
• 36:22
  Speaker 7: horny three Oh really? Yeah? Yeah. It's like a lady
• 36:25
  Speaker 7: with the biggest fagus tits and like her who's like
• 36:28
  Speaker 7: has a mullet, you know, sounds awesome, and she's dancing
• 36:31
  Speaker 7: to Uh I think in that scene she's dancing to
• 36:35
  Speaker 7: is it talking heads? No, it's roxy music. It's it's
• 36:38
  Speaker 7: a very bleak moment. Yeah, I definitely wasn't there, Like
• 36:41
  Speaker 7: rock Hard Pingo Joanes higher table yeah, yeah, this Dixon
• 36:46
  Speaker 7: the win right now, Hey baby, take a picture.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I always wonder about. Like, say, a
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: cartoonist can draw like a fantastic set, and it's like
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: he's probably drawn, and then he's like, yeah, is definitely
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: like horny to his own ship.
• 37:02
  Speaker 7: You're one hundred percent.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, And so like, how about like an
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: erotica guy, Like, obviously, what you're you're saying is it
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: wasn't erotica and it wasn't intended to be this super
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: sexual thing. But do you think erotica authors are just
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: like like taking a break to like count off.
• 37:17
  Speaker 7: I think so. But then there's also a lot of
• 37:19
  Speaker 7: synonyms used in erotica. It's like her quivering quim yelled,
• 37:24
  Speaker 7: you know, and then you're like, I already used seed
• 37:26
  Speaker 7: on the last page here.
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: You probably just type like I made her common and
• 37:32
  Speaker 5: they just do to grammarly recommend it, and.
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: I made her howl, Yeah, just refreshing.
• 37:40
  Speaker 7: She beckoned for my rod and I said, come forth. Yeah.
• 37:44
  Speaker 7: I don't know, dude, I don't read a lot of erotica,
• 37:46
  Speaker 7: but when you do read horny like that Murakami guy
• 37:49
  Speaker 7: who only writes aboutlady's tits right, right. Every book he
• 37:51
  Speaker 7: writes just has a bunch of pages about just heavy hoots, right,
• 37:54
  Speaker 7: And it's like this guy's a perf. Yes, this guy
• 37:57
  Speaker 7: just wants chicks to me on his forehead, you know,
• 37:59
  Speaker 7: he has a I'm always on this so hard during
• 38:02
  Speaker 7: the end of it, almost couldn't finish it. Yeah. Yeah,
• 38:06
  Speaker 7: he just kept blowing through typewriter paper.
• 38:08
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 38:09
  Speaker 7: That was actually the second draft because he put a
• 38:10
  Speaker 7: hole in the first one.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: From memory. Yeah, oh my.
• 38:16
  Speaker 7: God, but I was.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: I'm always on like the reddit of like men writing women,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: whereas justice yeaheah, dude, Yeah, her breast like boo boogle
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: or whatever.
• 38:26
  Speaker 7: But tits don't heed. Maybe's he when they throw up? Yeah,
• 38:32
  Speaker 7: heating is not a thing that tits to. And trust me,
• 38:34
  Speaker 7: I've done the research on I know everything they can
• 38:37
  Speaker 7: do at this point, exactly.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: Dude, you've been deep into the game. When did you
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: get it into your head that you could that you
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: could write a book? When did that become a possibility.
• 38:46
  Speaker 7: I always wrote like short stories and stuff, and then
• 38:48
  Speaker 7: I lived in Vegas for two years and my wife
• 38:49
  Speaker 7: was in her first years of med school, and it
• 38:51
  Speaker 7: was one hundred and twenty degrees outside, so you couldn't
• 38:53
  Speaker 7: leave the house. Also, what am I going to do
• 38:55
  Speaker 7: go to the casino and lose the eighty dollars I
• 38:57
  Speaker 7: have to my name. Yeah, I just like sat there
• 39:00
  Speaker 7: and was writing something else, and then the first chapter
• 39:02
  Speaker 7: in my book came out of that, and I was like, oh,
• 39:04
  Speaker 7: I can write this guy. He's depraved and awful. So
• 39:07
  Speaker 7: I don't know, I didn't do the Yeah, yeah, I
• 39:10
  Speaker 7: was dabbing on that.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: I would have known what you were talking about. Yeah,
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: that's a cool move.
• 39:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah, but uh yeah, dude, So it just like came
• 39:18
  Speaker 7: it came out of me really quick because I was
• 39:20
  Speaker 7: writing something I'm terrified of becoming as a comedian, just
• 39:23
  Speaker 7: becoming this like ghost, this like fallen empire of a man.
• 39:27
  Speaker 5: Uh so yeah, yeah, he's pretty clarifying.
• 39:30
  Speaker 7: And you're like young in the game. You made it already, dude,
• 39:34
  Speaker 7: you never have to go to Wyoming.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. After we like clip retart out
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: of contact, take him down real fucking fast.
• 39:44
  Speaker 7: Well, you were quoting Kirk Cobain's friend.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, no, we don't need that, we don't
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: need that context.
• 39:51
  Speaker 7: What were you saying about Nelson Mandel.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: I thought he was a good guy.
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: But surgery after this, Yeah, we're just gonna do three,
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: just make them quick.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: The bundle of it's all going together like someone playing
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: speech est, like going down on our fucking brain to
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: brain quick in now fixing on some scratch is the surface,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: there's something light, should be able to get something light, Damn, bro. Yeah,
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: it's just a massive undertaking to write a book. It
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: just seems like the fucking scariest shit of all time.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Just seems fucking daunting.
• 40:27
  Speaker 7: I wasn't swimming with sharks. I don't know, bro, It
• 40:30
  Speaker 7: was in my air conditioned home, high on refers.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: But you could fucking bunch of shark in the fucking face,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like you, that's gonna end
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: one of two ways. If you're swimming with sharks, are brown?
• 40:39
  Speaker 7: Are you gonna eat?
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 40:40
  Speaker 7: Exactly either way death.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's way more, way, more possible outcomes if you're
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: gonna write your whole book.
• 40:47
  Speaker 7: I just I write a thousand words a day, and
• 40:49
  Speaker 7: if that takes me eight hours, it takes me eight hours,
• 40:51
  Speaker 7: it takes me three. And I want to keep writing.
• 40:52
  Speaker 7: I'll keep writing more. But it's just like a discipline,
• 40:55
  Speaker 7: that's all. Yeah, you know that's awesome. Yeah, I like it.
• 40:58
  Speaker 7: I get If I had to choose calm or writing,
• 41:00
  Speaker 7: I'd probably choose writing because it's like a lot of
• 41:02
  Speaker 7: fun to constantly be solving problems with your brain. And
• 41:06
  Speaker 7: also you never have to go to Boise. If you're
• 41:08
  Speaker 7: a writer, you know, you don't have to do a
• 41:10
  Speaker 7: weekend in Tulsa, so that's good as well.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: One time I heard a writer talking about how they
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: don't yeah Jesus christal women talk.
• 41:19
  Speaker 7: It wasn't Anne Lamont. We get it, and it's a
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: reference for no one.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I laughed, like I knew what you were talking about, Brod.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: This guy was saying that he he he was like
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: so thankful whenever he could kill off a character because
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: he could stop like worrying about like the wants and
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: needs of like a character. Like do you feel like
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: a connection like that when you're writing, Like do you
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: feel like you like a responsibility for like, oh, like
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: is this what this person would want? Like is that
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: she keeping you up at night? Or you just really
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: having fun with it?
• 41:50
  Speaker 7: Their little clay figurines, their little puppets, and they do
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: what I want.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: You just have an action figure fight when they're slamming
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: against each other.
• 41:56
  Speaker 7: It's like, I'm in control here, bitch.
• 42:00
  Speaker 6: Get it.
• 42:01
  Speaker 7: I don't want to spoil it, but it is it.
• 42:04
  Speaker 7: It is a very easy way to end a book
• 42:05
  Speaker 7: is just having a character die, right, you know, because
• 42:07
  Speaker 7: it's like a permanent ending. And uh. When I read
• 42:10
  Speaker 7: books like that, I'm like, oh yeah, endings are hard.
• 42:12
  Speaker 7: Of course you just kill them off. Like that's right.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: It's at least with light and dark.
• 42:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah, a lot of things don't end anymore. Yeah.
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: When I used to write like sketches all the time,
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: it would just ended me killing myself. Every single time.
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: I was like, this is the only no idea, what
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: else to do? It's literally the only way.
• 42:28
  Speaker 7: It is the funniest thing. Yeah, yeah, like this life
• 42:31
  Speaker 7: of mine? Yeah not anymore. Yeah, pulled the rug on
• 42:34
  Speaker 7: your own, dumb ass. Yeah, I remember, Yeah, I remember
• 42:37
  Speaker 7: we were here.
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: We were here and we were like talking about writing sketches,
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: and we had a bunch of people in a room
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: and I just kept on being like and then they
• 42:43
  Speaker 5: she just killed themself at the end. Everyone was like,
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: what the fuck is up with this guy?
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Like it was like a freak one year. Yeah, he
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: was like OK.
• 42:48
  Speaker 6: And then school shooters come in and like shoot everybody.
• 42:52
  Speaker 6: I had a personal experience. People were not happy with
• 42:55
  Speaker 6: that idea. I forget what even the idea was. I
• 42:59
  Speaker 6: think ended someone just like shooting all of us. Yeah, yeah,
• 43:02
  Speaker 6: everyone was like that.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: Seems like I was being a pussy about that.
• 43:05
  Speaker 5: I was like, yeah, that'd killed my confidence for a while.
• 43:09
  Speaker 7: I could tell that, like you were, Yeah, I thought
• 43:12
  Speaker 7: there were no bad ideas were spitballing.
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: There's also a funny ass idea in my opinion.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: But it grinded to a halt when you said that
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: to a quick because we were too close to We
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: were too close to you know, I can't get just
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: like people worrying about getting canceled for like sketches and
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: like ship that they wrote, you know what I mean,
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Like nobody wanted to do or say the wrong thing.
• 43:33
  Speaker 7: Luckily, we live in this country where everyone has been
• 43:35
  Speaker 7: affected by tragedy, you know what I mean, So you
• 43:38
  Speaker 7: can do you can do a joke about anything and
• 43:40
  Speaker 7: someone's like, yeah, Rhino raped my dad. Yeah yeah, and
• 43:45
  Speaker 7: he did use the horn actually not funny horn. Filling
• 43:51
  Speaker 7: out a comment card on this.
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: The two horns, one for my mom, one for my dad. Jesus,
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: the things you could say, freaking imagine, Bro, I'm a
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: fucking I'm a fucking grown ass adult.
• 44:05
  Speaker 7: Bro. Yeah, that's something condescending. I'm sorry. I just look
• 44:09
  Speaker 7: so old and I assume you guys.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Are I'm young, Rons, I'm thirty four, I'm thirty five.
• 44:13
  Speaker 7: Yeah. See, I apologize not at all. I value your
• 44:17
  Speaker 7: experience and input.
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: Every time we have someone on, yeah, yeah, every time
• 44:21
  Speaker 5: we have someone on this show, everyone's like, like, we
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: had like are you garbage?
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: On?
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: And they were like, fucking love, are you garbage? Who
• 44:28
  Speaker 5: the fuck are these little twinks?
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: Though I'm like older than that four, I like I
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: shows and Philly like fucking two decades. It's a long
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: ass fucking time ago.
• 44:39
  Speaker 7: Yeah. Yeah, I'm aged miraculously. It's very upsetting. I don't
• 44:43
  Speaker 7: know what it is is what's going to happen to you? Yeah,
• 44:46
  Speaker 7: you're on the road for seventeen.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Years on the road, Yeah, don't. I really don't know what.
• 44:51
  Speaker 7: I don't agree with me too much, Ron, I'm still
• 44:54
  Speaker 7: a guest too.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: I want to fucking I want gray hair so I
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: can like have a fucking uh some sick a fire
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: of being like I have life experience, because like I
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: just know that I'm gonna get two lines here and
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna look like an old fucking pervert. Like
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: I'm it's not gonna like I want like a beard
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: or I want some signifier that like I can be
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: an adult. I'm gonna be faceballed right here for the
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: fucking rest of my life, just like a no patch
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: of hair and like the one place that signifies manliness.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be like tough for me. You're probably gonna
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: che you can probably throw a beer cheek hare is
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: fucking like that's like something make people make fun of.
• 45:30
  Speaker 5: Like I can't get I don't have any cheak care,
• 45:32
  Speaker 5: but I can get down here.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: And yeah, pa have the rumor of a mustache growing.
• 45:36
  Speaker 7: Oh yeah, yeah, you are gonna if you get this though,
• 45:39
  Speaker 7: you're just gonna have ventriloquis dummy heads.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I mean. It's gonna be fucking terrible.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: It's just like gabble like this fucking nasty ass line
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: face on the side, Like I don't need that, Like I'm.
• 45:49
  Speaker 7: I'm in this nightmarage situation. Where I have to grow
• 45:52
  Speaker 7: mutton shops that connect for this movie thing. So now
• 45:55
  Speaker 7: I'm just like growing this all out, and I look
• 45:57
  Speaker 7: like I was like shipwrecked.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 46:00
  Speaker 7: I just have this like gray that came out of
• 46:02
  Speaker 7: nowhere and it's hell.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: Gray beards are cool. Yeah, the fire.
• 46:08
  Speaker 7: When you're just prospector. I just came out of the
• 46:11
  Speaker 7: woods to offer you jin.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Saying I don't look like people just on the fucking cart. Hey,
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: what's going on there?
• 46:19
  Speaker 7: Pal?
• 46:20
  Speaker 5: We saw you the hockey game Mark.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: I know you guys. I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: drink named after me, Pink Whitney. That's what I thought.
• 46:28
  Speaker 8: See it fellas I invented the thing you pigeoned Pink
• 46:31
  Speaker 8: Whitney for legendary moments.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: But do you say a movie thing?
• 46:36
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, there's like this. It's called the Baja one thousand.
• 46:39
  Speaker 7: It's a race from Tijuana to the bottom of Bajaka.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah.
• 46:42
  Speaker 7: And they're doing this like mockumentary of this guy who's
• 46:44
  Speaker 7: actually competing and I'm like his lawyer in the film.
• 46:49
  Speaker 7: No way. Yeah, So I just have to like be
• 46:51
  Speaker 7: on the Baja road race and then as soon as
• 46:53
  Speaker 7: like we stopped to like get water or like dodge snakes.
• 46:55
  Speaker 7: I have to be out in like riff. It sounds
• 46:58
  Speaker 7: daunting as fuck, so you're like a script or you
• 47:00
  Speaker 7: just gotta go fully in. And everyone else who's in it,
• 47:03
  Speaker 7: besides my friend Nathan from my podcast Chubby Behemoth, Uh,
• 47:07
  Speaker 7: we're both on there, and uh if we have to
• 47:11
  Speaker 7: like just be funny and everyone else is like a
• 47:13
  Speaker 7: fucking mechanic, you know, and then they're like, yeah they're
• 47:16
  Speaker 7: funny people knowing these guys for a hundred Yeah, it's like,
• 47:19
  Speaker 7: oh good, I can't wait to fucking do yes. And
• 47:22
  Speaker 7: with a man who only knows how to inflate tires. Dude.
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: But it's a real life derby though. Yeah, yeah, that's
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: fucking awesome.
• 47:31
  Speaker 7: It's cool. And the guy who's running it is this
• 47:32
  Speaker 7: guy who's like a legend in that community, so he
• 47:36
  Speaker 7: knows what he's doing.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: Is it low key dangerous like people die? I would
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: say it's high key in fact, and how fast are like?
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: You're there gonna be a function after?
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my wife pulls up to it with a bunch
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: of cody, know, she polls out.
• 47:50
  Speaker 7: We'll be in Mexico's. They'll probably be a bunch of coding.
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: Bro, you know that you can just go to the Yeah,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: these stores are are the fucking pharmacies down there that
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: are incredible. Yes, you can just literally.
• 48:00
  Speaker 5: Get anything, fuckingber You bought all those oxycontins.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: Right, oxy cotton, fucking viagra steroids. Bro, you can literally
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: like but they also don't have like a problem with
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: all the ship there. It's just like so expensive. It's
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: just for like the white tourists that are coming down there. Yeah,
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: just the cartel pressing it up nice though. They press
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: those pills up.
• 48:20
  Speaker 7: Those Mexicans X and X they say they're two milliger
• 48:22
  Speaker 7: I think they're four.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: Oh they crazy. But one of those bars will put
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: you out all the way to France, dude, dude. But
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: also the heartburn medicine that they have down there is
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: like it's like flushing, like, Bro, it's incredible in.
• 48:36
  Speaker 5: New Mexico to pick up some heartburn medicine Mexico.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: I guarantee that it's the best PEPs that you've ever
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: tasted in your It's like pouring fucking primer down. It's
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: just like clears everything out. A couple of days of
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: halapeno margarita's with mescal or some ship that'll fucking light
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: your esophagus on fire, and just one of these, you're
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: fucking good to go, dude, it's fucking fire. But so
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: how fast are these's driving?
• 49:01
  Speaker 7: Like is it a one thousand miles in eight days?
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: Jesus?
• 49:04
  Speaker 7: Yeah? And it's also like across the desert, it's on
• 49:07
  Speaker 7: the beach, it's up and down mountains like it's just
• 49:09
  Speaker 7: that big peninsular strip of Baja Mexico.
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: So do you have to drive along like the whole
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: thing pretty much like.
• 49:15
  Speaker 7: The support vehicle. Yeah, and then they're gonna be like,
• 49:17
  Speaker 7: all right, we have a ten minute break. Everyone else,
• 49:19
  Speaker 7: go piss and eat Sam. Can you riff on the
• 49:22
  Speaker 7: plou like those birds are there making me something funny
• 49:26
  Speaker 7: with them?
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah? This guy he's great. Yeah, you gotta watch. He's
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: gonna do something about the birds like.
• 49:37
  Speaker 7: The clowno Elbordoo.
• 49:45
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 49:46
  Speaker 7: I mean, it's a night it's it'll be fun, it'll
• 49:48
  Speaker 7: be an adventure.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: But is it on like roads dolls or like you're
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: not getting pulled over anything like that?
• 49:53
  Speaker 7: And like from what I've been told, h the cartel
• 49:56
  Speaker 7: is a big fan of this event. Really, it's a
• 49:58
  Speaker 7: good thing for Mexico, So it's like a very safe
• 50:01
  Speaker 7: in that regard situation. But yeah, you're just like going
• 50:04
  Speaker 7: over ruts in like a fuck. I think we're going
• 50:06
  Speaker 7: in like a seventy eight Oldsmobile because they like, here's
• 50:08
  Speaker 7: the one where they bring their own cars. So it's
• 50:11
  Speaker 7: gonna be it's gonna be daunting, to say the least.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: What the fuck is that?
• 50:16
  Speaker 7: That's April twenty seventh until April twenty ninth until May fifth,
• 50:21
  Speaker 7: something like that.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: Damn yeah, damn bro, how did you get roped into that?
• 50:25
  Speaker 7: Some guy saw me? You stand up? What all the
• 50:28
  Speaker 7: ways that all the good things and bad things have
• 50:30
  Speaker 7: ever happened?
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: Right? Honestly, everyone saw me do twenty It comedy works
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: in Denver. You would crush at this derby. He would
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: crush at this Mexican Derby.
• 50:37
  Speaker 7: Well like riff a lot on stage. Yeah, I try
• 50:39
  Speaker 7: to improvise as much as possible. So like he saw that,
• 50:41
  Speaker 7: and I'm very grateful to be involved. Yeahk you thank
• 50:45
  Speaker 7: you Yakohama Racing.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: But if everybody, like if the if the support vehicle
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: can keep up with the vehicle, that's like vying to
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: win this.
• 50:55
  Speaker 7: My question, dog like going as fast. Yeah, I mean
• 50:59
  Speaker 7: be there to support. He was like, don't worry, You're
• 51:02
  Speaker 7: not in the actual car, You're in the support vehicle.
• 51:04
  Speaker 7: Like how far away is the support vehicle? Four hours
• 51:06
  Speaker 7: and the support vehicles just a shittier car. Take a car,
• 51:10
  Speaker 7: it's not even built to go that fast. I just
• 51:12
  Speaker 7: had this conversation with my buddy, who's gonna be one
• 51:14
  Speaker 7: of the camera guys, and he was like, yeah, but
• 51:16
  Speaker 7: like we have to be right there, and I was like, oh, fuck,
• 51:18
  Speaker 7: you're right. Bonzo's a good one. A guy named Bonzo
• 51:21
  Speaker 7: is the voice of reason this situation.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: Bonzo.
• 51:24
  Speaker 7: We called him Bono in third grade.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: That's sick. Yeah, dude, shout out to Bonzo.
• 51:28
  Speaker 7: Out to Bonzo. Anthony Vante Sandrin, son of Donzo, son
• 51:32
  Speaker 7: of Mamzo.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: Oh hell yeah, yeah, Donzo. Monzo and I.
• 51:35
  Speaker 7: Used to come over and get all stoned at our
• 51:37
  Speaker 7: first apartment in Denver, and he'd get out his man
• 51:39
  Speaker 7: and be like, all right, Sam, I know he played drums.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: It's got those pots and pants.
• 51:44
  Speaker 7: Sit there with Donzos. He's the highest man alive. Like
• 51:46
  Speaker 7: trying to get us to do Neil Young covers that's ridiculous.
• 51:49
  Speaker 7: That's kind of sweet though, And now I, me and
• 51:51
  Speaker 7: his boy are going to be in the desert for
• 51:52
  Speaker 7: a week. Dude, I hope you don't know fast well,
• 51:56
  Speaker 7: please don't die, amen. A better way to go out?
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: Well, if it's fast, Yeah, if you just like explode
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: in a fucking seventy eight Oldsmobile or whatever, that would
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: be sweet going out post riff.
• 52:10
  Speaker 7: He didn't get a finish.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: He was just about to talk about the birds.
• 52:17
  Speaker 7: I think he had something funny about the tacos he
• 52:19
  Speaker 7: was about. Yeah, i'd suck if I get the last
• 52:24
  Speaker 7: thing he said fell flat. Yeah, yeah, we can take
• 52:27
  Speaker 7: it again. Car explodes.
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: They cut you out of the movie. No god, oh
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: my god.
• 52:36
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I think I have to do some of it
• 52:37
  Speaker 7: in Spanish, and my Spanish is fairly weak.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Damn. Where'd you learn your Spanish? College, high school or
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: just being uh? I learned them. I learned. I took
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: eight years of Spanish in high school and college, and
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: then I learned the most Spanish working in a kitchen kitchen.
• 52:50
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, no, I had never had the benefit of
• 52:53
  Speaker 7: working in a kitchen. I used to do a lingo
• 52:57
  Speaker 7: every day for a year. But also like I went
• 52:59
  Speaker 7: and got my degree from Metro State University shout out
• 53:02
  Speaker 7: road Runners last May, and I needed like eight credits
• 53:04
  Speaker 7: and I took a Spanish class.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: Okay, so she got a little bit.
• 53:07
  Speaker 7: Yeah no mo for.
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: You guys said, my words are not strong, but you
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: got class. It sounded good to me though, easy me
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: my little boy, my.
• 53:25
  Speaker 7: Son, Yes, yes, I guess that would be little boy.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: E Damie Verga. I think is like son of my balls. Yeah,
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: something like that. Yeah, suck my dick and like that's
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: that's the kitchen.
• 53:41
  Speaker 7: The kitchen. Yeah that they teach you all the swears
• 53:45
  Speaker 7: right away and you can only talk to them and
• 53:47
  Speaker 7: other like awful slurs, you know, and it's like we're
• 53:50
  Speaker 7: getting along and you try and do that like someone's
• 53:52
  Speaker 7: wedding and they're.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: Like yeah, yeah, yeah. The dude who taught me that
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: when I worked in the kitchen were all these They
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: were all sub five foot from Pueblood, Mexico, and they
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: were like the coolest, rowdiest fucking dudes. And one of
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: them named Alfonso, had a fucking beautiful ass ponytail, and
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: a bus boy came in one time and fucking yanked
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: the ponytail while he was washing dishes. Dude, Alfonso turned
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: around and kicked the kids square in his balls. He
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: fucking teed off and fucking punted this like maybe sixteen
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: year old kid right in the ball. Dude, you don't
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: fuck with Alfonso, You don't fuck with Mexicans, and you
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: definitely don't fuck with dudes from play.
• 54:31
  Speaker 7: Blood bro especially their ponytail.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: Not the ponytail that's the source of their strength. And
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: you know, it seems like you're pretty strong.
• 54:41
  Speaker 7: I'm trying. I'm gonna learn the hard way down in Baja,
• 54:48
  Speaker 7: But who are those muscle relaxers?
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: And yeah, they're gonna hurt medicine.
• 54:54
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna get that brain surgery. I'm gonna hit the medicine.
• 54:57
  Speaker 7: We're gonna be gonna be swimming in Carnelita's.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: The balls off the fucking heartburn medicine.
• 55:03
  Speaker 7: My wife was like, you know, when you're down there,
• 55:05
  Speaker 7: if you want to like go to a brothel, I
• 55:07
  Speaker 7: don't care. She's always trying me to get me to
• 55:08
  Speaker 7: go to brothel. No, no, she did it, Yeah, she did.
• 55:10
  Speaker 7: Like when I went to I went to Paris with
• 55:12
  Speaker 7: like my friends and she was like, Hey, if you
• 55:14
  Speaker 7: guys want to get a sex worker go crazy. First
• 55:16
  Speaker 7: of all, it's not going to be you guys. It's
• 55:18
  Speaker 7: not going to be me and the squad. Yeah, just
• 55:20
  Speaker 7: filling up every hole. And also no, I love you tight.
• 55:23
  Speaker 7: Yeah exactly.
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: And this is like, what does she mean by it?
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: Is she testing you?
• 55:28
  Speaker 8: No?
• 55:28
  Speaker 7: No, she doesn't care.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: She's cool. What the hell the coolest?
• 55:32
  Speaker 7: She's like, it's just it's an exchange if you want
• 55:34
  Speaker 7: to do that. We were in Tokyo together and they
• 55:36
  Speaker 7: have blowjob parlors and she's like, do you want to
• 55:38
  Speaker 7: go in? Like, now I'm here with you? What she
• 55:41
  Speaker 7: too get sex? I want to get sucked off by
• 55:42
  Speaker 7: a slave when I went with my wife.
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's not the romantic, not a slave.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: I want a willing part this right, And also drugs.
• 55:52
  Speaker 7: I signed a contract with you, honey, Damn.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Is she looking for a quid pro quo or what
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: is she like waiting for you to be like? Hey,
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: like you want to hit up the fucking deuced bigelow
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: stand the guy brothel? Yeah, if you want to.
• 56:04
  Speaker 7: Go to the fair and find the guy with the
• 56:06
  Speaker 7: biggest corn dogs. No, I think that I wouldn't mind
• 56:10
  Speaker 7: if she had cash for pleasure interaction with a woman
• 56:14
  Speaker 7: at all. I would not mind that at least in
• 56:19
  Speaker 7: fact might live stream. Man.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what the scene in your book was about.
• 56:25
  Speaker 7: Yes, you know now that I think about it. When
• 56:27
  Speaker 7: I was writing the book thing, there was a scene
• 56:30
  Speaker 7: where he has sex like on like a diaper changing
• 56:32
  Speaker 7: station in a bathroom. That was like a real memory
• 56:34
  Speaker 7: of mine. And there was a little bit of tectonic
• 56:37
  Speaker 7: movement abouts during that because I was like, that was
• 56:40
  Speaker 7: pretty cool.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: It's probably a good gauge of if you're writing well well,
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: like if you start getting hard off the written words like, Okay,
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: this is pretty good ship.
• 56:49
  Speaker 5: No, I agree with that because I feel like any
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: like like a book like I was like, feel like
• 56:53
  Speaker 5: towards the end, I was like, this is pretty like
• 56:55
  Speaker 5: I was getting emotional, and I'm like, that's pretty good
• 56:57
  Speaker 5: writing if it can make someone like feel emotion.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, especially in horniness I think is an emotion horniness
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: big time.
• 57:04
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I think it surpassed his emotion. It's a primal urge.
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: I want to fuck this book.
• 57:13
  Speaker 7: I book that on the backach.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: I wanted to. But how would you do it? Though?
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: Do you think you cut a hole in the middle
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: and close it.
• 57:28
  Speaker 7: The other side. Sorry to step on that. Yes, no,
• 57:36
  Speaker 7: only soft covers people.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, no shame in it.
• 57:39
  Speaker 7: If you're really horning, you figure ou how to fuck
• 57:41
  Speaker 7: the audio book.
• 57:43
  Speaker 5: I read it on a kindle. That would be tough
• 57:44
  Speaker 5: to fuck.
• 57:45
  Speaker 7: Do you like kindle?
• 57:46
  Speaker 5: I actually love the kindle, And I know some people don't.
• 57:48
  Speaker 5: All lot of people like to read with a book
• 57:50
  Speaker 5: in their hand, but I I never really got into
• 57:54
  Speaker 5: reading until I got a kindle, and then I would
• 57:56
  Speaker 5: at night. I would read because it has like and
• 57:58
  Speaker 5: it doesn't have the blue light, so it's like you
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: can and reading so fall asleep.
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: But you do like to You do like to get
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: spotted reading and there's no like you don't someone can't
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: see the cover of you know what.
• 58:08
  Speaker 5: I did right in public one time and I was
• 58:11
  Speaker 5: on the train with you.
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I caught his ass. So he was like book
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: out to the entire so everybody. And it wasn't on
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: the subway.
• 58:24
  Speaker 5: It was on like the Amtrak five hour bus, five
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: hour train ride.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: Was the fall was having fucking a glass of wine.
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: He was wearing a scarf and fucking looked incredible right
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: exact page to page. He was switching hoes. It was
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: fucking incredible.
• 58:44
  Speaker 7: I was reading for a lot of people. Yeah.
• 58:45
  Speaker 5: And also you can like highlight you can highlight quotes,
• 58:48
  Speaker 5: I know, yeah, and then you just go right onto
• 58:50
  Speaker 5: your phone.
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: On the good Reads thing, what's your ratio of you said?
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: Do you write like between three and eight hours a day?
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: You said, yeah, I.
• 58:57
  Speaker 7: Mean all right until I have a thousand words and
• 58:59
  Speaker 7: sometimes that takes eight hours.
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: And what's your reading hours to writing hours ratio?
• 59:04
  Speaker 7: Bro?
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: It sucks, man. I love reading so much.
• 59:06
  Speaker 7: I love reading novels, but when I'm writing a book,
• 59:08
  Speaker 7: I read like the same three novels so that I
• 59:11
  Speaker 7: know how like writing should sound. I know how the
• 59:13
  Speaker 7: pacing of it, the meter or the rhythm, and like, yeah,
• 59:16
  Speaker 7: like my fucking reading time. And then I'll like I'll
• 59:18
  Speaker 7: be like I'll read on the airplane, cut to be
• 59:19
  Speaker 7: on the airplane. Yeah, you know, just done for what
• 59:23
  Speaker 7: a what?
• 59:23
  Speaker 8: Like?
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: What are like your favorite authors Dennis.
• 59:25
  Speaker 7: Johnson, Cormick McCarthy, Carson mccullor's, Flannery, O'Connor, Signing Jones. These
• 59:30
  Speaker 7: are all like goats for sure. Nice yeah, I mean
• 59:33
  Speaker 7: obviously respect to like you know, fucking Fuckner Hamingway all
• 59:39
  Speaker 7: those dudes. Yeah, yeah, I just love I love contemporary novels. Man,
• 59:43
  Speaker 7: there's a new guy named us Atticus Lish wrote a
• 59:47
  Speaker 7: fucking banger about a guy with PTSD and like deep
• 59:51
  Speaker 7: queens trying to get head from like this Chinatown party.
• 59:54
  Speaker 7: It's crazy, dude, just like crying, crying.
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: While I'm reading this thing about just he's just trying
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: to to get his trying to.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 7: Get it in with this lady.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 4: Damn.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 7: It's just like him, like dealing with the struggles. Nico
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 7: Walker wrote that book Cherry that got turned into that
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 7: bad movie about bank robbery. He really like cut out
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 7: every adjective. I just love books, and you know what,
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 7: I'm sorry, I hate this part of any podcast.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 8: No.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 7: I love books, man, and people are like a pretentious
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 7: fucking turd this guy is. And it's like, I'm sorry,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 7: that's weird for someone to call it pretentious, but it
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 7: sounds pretentious. It sounds like braggy. When you say, oh, yes,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 7: I read, people just take that as like, oh, so
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 7: you don't play Madden. It's like, I love Madden. I
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 7: would love to play Madden.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: Madden. I was left in my life to play Madden exactly.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: You already admitted you love sports and you gamble on
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: U common basketball. Bro, you have the fucking that you've
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: have enough bandwidth.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you don't explain. Madden also fucking sucks.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 7: It sucks now.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: Madden is terrible.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 7: I played against my brother and I recently, and I
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 7: think that he like put up seventy on me and like.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I played it with you know, lamyre Lee. I
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 5: played it with him. We played for me five minutes
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 5: and he was up like seven touchdowns. I was like,
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 5: I'm not playing this anymore football anymore.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 7: No, they're playing there. They've hacked the game. Yeah, and
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 7: they know how to run the same fucking swing pass exactly.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 5: When I play, I'm strictly a hail Mary guy. Then
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 5: when you play against people who actually know how to play,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 5: they're like, oh, you're never going to catch the balls.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, damn, you just gave it away too. In
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: case you ever play any going to play again, I
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: only play running back, dude. You talked about like the
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: meter and rhythm of like writing that you like, what
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: what is the like? What what do you think are
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: some tenets of that? Like what's what's good like pace
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: for like writing you know what I mean? Do you
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: like it? Should it be like short sentences? It should
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: it be like like you know what, what's what's like?
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: Are some things that characterize good meter for writing?
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 7: You have to change it up. I think, like I
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 7: there's the classic trapping of just like the five word sentences,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 7: like he did this like and that's like some people
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 7: think that's like masculine and tough and rugged, but I
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 7: think that if you're doing that over and over again,
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 7: it's unremarkable. And like that pile of bricks you think
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 7: you have does not build a nice building. So you
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 7: need to have like you need to have like a
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 7: nice solid foundation to build the house. But you need
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 7: like the the sweeping doorways. You know, you have to
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 7: put some ornamentation. Yeah, exactly. And that's when you have
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 7: the paragraph that is one sentence and goes on for
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 7: a third of a page, like you got to freak
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 7: it out, get nasty, flip it around, interesting, slap it
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 7: on the ass, morning.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: On top of it a couple of times.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 7: Yeah, keep slamming.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but in that kindle must be difficult, spinning the
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: kindle on top of your basketball. That's what Georgia Browning.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 7: We put in the globe shotter scene right there. But
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 7: it is interesting those things when you read it, you
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 7: know it, you know, and the more you read, the
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 7: more you can tell something is good or if it's
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 7: like just faking the funk.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: Because I think that's an interesting thing about like writing
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: a book. It's like not only considering how you write
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: the story, but like how you write the story, you
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, like not just what the story is,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: but how you're saying the story or how you're telling
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: the story, which I feel like is one of the
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: more daunting tasks. Why fighting a shark is a little
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: bit easier than writing a book.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah, And like also I love the lyricism of prose,
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 7: like if I was just trying to write like a
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 7: page turner or like you know, just like a crime novel,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 7: like your Dan Brown type situation where it's like here's
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 7: the plot, I'm gonna get there as quick as possible.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 7: Like that's one thing, But like I wanted the book
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 7: to sing because I wanted it to sound like the
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 7: books that I like, and those are written by people
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 7: who have a mastery of words into sentences, into paragraphs,
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 7: into pages, and I really love that shit. Man, that's
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 7: what gets me fired up. And I think that as
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 7: a drummer, the best thing that I know how to
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 7: do is how it sounds rhythmically, you know what I mean.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 7: That's my biggest strength in that book, I think totally. Yeah.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it was like, yeah, the writing was phenomenal.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 3: It was like big news. Support is now on uber eats.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: So if you have a beauty emergency, like needing a
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: last minute gift, or you run out of your favorite
• 1:04:02
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• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: dollars off on sppour orders of fifty dollars or more
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 3: on the uber eats app. See app for availability.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: Terms apply.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 5: Because I was, I mean, I so I saw you
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 5: open for Tim in New York at the Beacon Beacon, Yeah,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 5: and I think I started reading your book. Well, we
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 5: actually have another dude who works on this show, but
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 5: he's not he's doing something else right now, I guess.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 5: But he recommended the book to me and to him, Yeah,
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: Connor Mouke.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 7: Connor the mouk Man. Yeah yeah, yeah, but he's never
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 7: heard any of that. No one's that were grunted and
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 7: howled at him.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: It's pretty positive he'll like it. He'll love it, enjoy that,
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: he'll want some more of it.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I read it and I was a little
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 5: like like, oh, this is a book written by a comedian.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 5: I was like, I wonder if it's going to be
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 5: any good. And then I was like, oh, this is
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 5: like a legit book.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 7: Thanks man. Yeah, a lot of people did not have
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 7: their hopes up that it was going to be any
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 7: kind of like entry into the overall literary cannon. Yeah. Yeah,
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 7: I just want to people. I wanted to comics three
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 7: and be like this sounds real, and I want people
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 7: who like books to read it and be like, these
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 7: are pretty pages. And I think that I pulled that
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 7: off somehow, and I'll be chasing that fucking dragon for
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 7: the rest of my life, the rather book that I publish.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, that's awesome though, to at least have
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 1: something to fucking chase, you know.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 7: So, dude, fuck you Publishing. You could have put that
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 7: book out. I had a literary agent. Any of y'all
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 7: could have put it out. And now look at me,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 7: I'll never need you again. Ah yeah, oh yeah, they
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 7: publish it, dude. They offered like five thousand dollars and
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 7: the literal agent was like, just sell one hundred copies
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 7: on your website. You'll make more than that. And now
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 7: here we are, that's fucking go. Time is it? It's
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 7: time for you guys to rotten die off.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: He publishing all right, bitch.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 7: Sorry to get fired up there, guy, No, I'm with you.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: I also, I don't know anything about big publishing, but
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: I have an actra grind against them now too, just
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: in solidarity with you.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 7: Vendetta homie.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, bro, fuck big publishing little bitches.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 7: That's like a white supremacist thing. I just said. I'm sorry.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 7: I didn't mean it that way.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: Okay, people don't know. People really don't know about an
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: eighty eight on a jersey recently because the year I
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: was born, and they're like, oh, Kyle Hitler, huh you
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: have fourteen? They were all my fucking ass. Yeah. Were
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: people actually mad at you?
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 9: Yes?
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: They were, like you said, they were like showing me
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: like the ss like fucking correlation between like eight h.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 7: Is the eighth letter?
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, age, Yeah, I don't know. I guess I
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: want the premises now. That's crazy issue fits. Were you
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: a big were you.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 7: Nice? Nice segue?
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: Were you a big norm fan.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 7: Oh the biggest. Yeah, he's the best of all times.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 5: His part in the book was amazing.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: Thanks.
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And I was just saying that I was just
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 5: watching the Hitler thing that he did, Yeah, the one
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 5: where he's like, I don't even know you're sick, right, Yeah,
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 5: the funniest fucking joke, dude.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 7: Yeah, fucking normous degree. Yeah. And recently I'd befriended Adam
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 7: e Get from the Norman Yeah yeah, yeah, and just
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 7: like hearing him tell norm stories. I never met him.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know if he read the book, but I
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: read Norms books another not another that.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 7: Is a towering, uh work of fiction. Yeah, beautiful.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 5: I'm not so funny it is at all the Adam stuff,
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 5: and that is so fucking funny. It is.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 7: But also there's another book that, like you could tell
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 7: that he read all the fucking Russian masters. Oh yeah,
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 7: because it's you know, underneath the uh, the conceit of
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 7: this fake memoir is just a beautiful, classically written novel, dude.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, what a fucking My favorite part about that
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 5: book is when he's talking about uh, when he's working
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 5: at SNL and Sarah Silverman is dating David tel Yeah,
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 5: and he's hiring a hitman to kill David.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he has a lot.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 5: This is like one of my I think it's one
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 5: of the funniest jokes ever. When he has uh he's
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 5: talking about when he was working at SNL that there
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 5: was a wage gap between men and women, and he's
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 5: talking about Sarah Silverman and like Norm made whatever amount
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 5: of money and Sarah Silverman made way less. And he's like,
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 5: women make a seventy percent of what men make, and
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 5: he's like, a Sarah Salverman was a hell of a woman,
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 5: so she made twenty percent of what men man.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 7: I also love in that book when he has to
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 7: go seal clubbing with that boy. That's just a little
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 7: adventure he goes on in there. Yeah, read that book
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 7: and also read the audiobook on that because he reads it.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 7: Oh really, I didn't even know to get all the jokes.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 7: And you read yours, No, I had, like Tim Dillon,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 7: Ari Shaffir, So.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: That's a fucking star studyed cast read.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and some of them were better than others, like
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 7: God blessed Burg Chriischer taking time out of his busy
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 7: schedule to read a chapter in my book. But you know,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 7: it's uh the word two come carry is not easy
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 7: to read, you know what I mean? And he watched
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 7: it all four times.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 1: You know you sat there with them or what?
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 7: No, No, these people, I would just hit them up
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 7: and they were so gracious. Mark Maren, Doug Stano, damn
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 7: fucking star studied.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 5: Cast Man reading Stanhope's book right now?
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 7: Which one the memoir Digging Up Mother?
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 8: No?
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 1: No, I think that was his first book. Yeah, I'm
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: reading the second one.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 7: This is not fame or like or something.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 7: Yeah, he changed my life. Yeah, he's the fucking god.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: I love him.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 7: And it went from him being like I'm reading Sam
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 7: Town's book. He's the best. And I went down and
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 7: hung out with him and now was standing up with
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 7: call me and I'll be like like, it's so crazy,
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 7: like two years ago I was anointed by the hand
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 7: of guy and it's like I'll stand home. Yeah right,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 7: I'll call him back.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 5: That's hilarious. I don't only read comedians books, by the way,
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 5: what books?
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: What of the books do you like?
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: I like?
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 5: Uh, I mean I read a lot of like the
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 5: Beat generation stuff.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 7: It's like road novels. Yeah, yeah, you've read on the Road.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: I read On the Road.
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 7: You read Dharma bums I did, Yeah, bro, Yeah.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: That's great right there.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 5: I read damas I started big Sir, but I didn't
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 5: like it. That one is so that one that's like
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 5: post fame. I think he was really into like alcoholism
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 5: at that point. Yeah, it's him being drunken.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: Al Yeah, and it's you can kind of tell that.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 7: It was like.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 5: Like it seemed like he was just trying to use
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 5: big words for the sake of being like I'm smart. Yeah,
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 5: And it was like, dude, none of this makes sense.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 5: And you just described you being on a hill for
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 5: forty five pages.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 7: Oh, that one is. It's tough to hear the guy
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 7: who's like brain has become mush from booze trying Yeah,
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 7: a punch rocks, trying to get back in there. You know,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 7: it's like you don't have it anymore. Yeah.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 1: On the Road was a movie that I thought the
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 1: was not great.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 7: Suck.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they really fucked that movie up.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 7: How do you blow it?
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: I know it got.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 5: Stewart who's in Kristian Stewarts and she plays Mary lou Hey.
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 1: I just want to say hello, Yeah, she's ever a
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: sex worker in Japan and the other side of a
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: blow drop hole.
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 7: Hey, Kristen, if things go completely wrong for you, yeah,
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 7: look me up. My wife's into it too.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: It's room for one more.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 7: We got California King.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: That's extra why brother?
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that movie was terrible, embarrassingly so I'm trying think
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 5: of I'm watched an interview with someone it was, uh,
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 5: maybe it was what was Who's What's demo Already's real name?
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 5: Neil Cassidy's wife. She did like an interview about the
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 5: movie because she was still alive when it came out,
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 5: and she was like, they.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 7: Fucked up every character. Yeah, they were like he was like,
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 7: no one was like that in real life. Yeah, I
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 7: mean that novel wasn't true to formed.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 1: No, I think like the novel was.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 7: I think I'm not saying you know, I'm saying that
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 7: about her. Oh yeah yeah, it's like, oh, hey, lady
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 7: who took drugs for forty years and was married to
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 7: a madman who didn't sleep. Yeah, sorry, he was misrepresented. Yeah, yeah,
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 7: because if it was the real Neil Cassidy, it's just
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 7: him like murmuring to himself. Yeah, as he's driving the
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 7: bus for forty hours.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 5: He's the videos of him where he's like yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 5: It's like, holy shit, dude, like this guy had the
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 5: biggest dick in the game. That's when I let him
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 5: in the squad.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, because he wasn't a great writer at all.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: Sh suck yeah, oh my god.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 5: And they're all like, they're all like amazing writers.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: Then it's just this one dude who just sucked.
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but is like always high, and they're like he's
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 5: the fuck we love him, we worship him, and.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 7: He was like the actual tough guy. Yeah, he's Colorado.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 7: You know. Carraway came to Colorado after he went to
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 7: the Ivy League. Yeah, everyone kids about you know, ever
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 7: wants to hold him up is oh he came from nothing.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 7: What a fucking countercultural revolution.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 5: There are people that don't like that those books because
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 5: they're like, well, no one could do what he did
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 5: unless you had whatever.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 7: People got to quit giving a shit about stuff. Yeah,
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 7: watch the movie, read the book, laugh at the joke,
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 7: Come on, watch.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: So many of those countercultural like psychopaths wind up in Colorado.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 5: Though.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 7: I think it's because I seventy and I twenty five both,
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 7: which is also the same reason we have like a
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 7: very ripe homeless population. Yeah, because like those are the
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 7: two highways over there. You got forty down below and
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 7: eighty above. But yeah, like that cross section and also
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 7: it's pretty. And also once you get to Denver, then
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 7: you have to drive through the mountains and that shit's scary.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: Oh so you just want to stop right there.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 7: I grew up driving through I seventy. That shit is
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 7: horrifying every time, God forbid it's nighttime, God forbid it's
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 7: snowing or raining, because then there's you're just like, you're
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 7: gonna follow your doom. Dude.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 5: It's really scary. Yeah, it's really we I mean, my
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 5: buddies were out we did it. One of my friends
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 5: lives in Denver, and we did a hike out there
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 5: and we were coming back and we were all like exhausted,
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 5: like falling asleep, and my buddy was driving, and I
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 5: was like, he's gonna fall asleep wile driving. We're just
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 5: gonna send off of a cliff right.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 7: Full as they say, Yeah, yeah, they still say that, right, producer, Yeah,
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 7: youthful producer. Yeah you there, boy, what day is that?
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: Dude?
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 7: Yeah, dude, that ship is scary. So I think that
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 7: some people get there and they're like, I'm going all
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 7: the way to San Francisco, and then they're like they
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 7: get to like Idaho Springs and they're like, Denver it
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 7: is that's where the real jazz cats hang.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: You know, so crazy ship or just crazy people out
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: and out in Denver. Oh, some crazy people with a
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: gun out there, bro. People love to have their fucking
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: guns out there.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 7: Yeah we do.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you do any straps.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 7: Yeah, dude, you ever bring up to the function, that's
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 7: gonna be the I'm gonna hear so much about this
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 7: one is gonna know. No one is gonna my friends
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 7: who watched this are gonna be up my ass. They're
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 7: gonna have T shirts when I get home, and said
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 7: she pulled up to.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: The function, you're just lining up models and like shooting
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 1: them with your.
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 7: Guns at the function when they're empty. Ye.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want that liquid gold running out. What
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: kind of guns do you have?
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 7: I have a I have a shotgun, and then there's
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 7: a handgun in the house as well.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 7: Yeah, but yeah, I think it's just it's a responsible
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 7: thing to have at this point in this moment in history.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 11: There.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm I have an open carry license.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 7: Oh yeah, can we see it?
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: He brings that bitch on the subway.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 7: He holds it up with the books. On the other hand,
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 7: I'm multi facetted, everybody, I'm everything all at once. It's
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 7: big hands, by the way, Yes you, he asked Paul.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 7: I got held that thing up earlier to do that
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 7: the reading act out.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 1: Damn, bro, that's Jesus Christ's ass. No one's ever said
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 1: that about me.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 7: We're strangling.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 5: I got really long fingers.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 7: Yeah you do. I don't know.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 1: I got sweaty palm for every time I pick it up.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 1: There's like a puddle in this fucking.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 5: Fa I mean any any any amount of.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 7: I'm not there's no residual moisture when I touched that.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're fucking have the appropriate amount of moisture. I
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: have big palm's tiny finger not even dry th Oh
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: yeah you do a big palm. Oh that's like a steak, bro,
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: that's like a film and young palm. That's beautiful. Thank you.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 7: That's nice of you to say, because they've been.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: Did that help with the drumming?
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: I got meaty hands. Yeah, so the stick gets right
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: in here, you know, digs in. Yeah, when was the
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: last time you drummed on a stage on.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 7: A stage maybe the High Planes Comedy Festival three years ago. Okay,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 7: the band that was in played, But now I'm just
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 7: in the basement.
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, but we need a drummer for this, this
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: gig that I'm doing in fucking uh. I think it's
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: September or something like that. Franky, you can't go to it?
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 7: Why is it out of the country now, It's.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 5: Like it's in Delaware, right, It's in Delaware.
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: It's called the Oceans Calling Festival.
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 7: I have never performed in Della. It's the only state
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 7: of never performed in. That's weird.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 1: That's get you're down to Delaware. It's at the Oceans.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: It's like this festival on the fucking on a beach
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: or some shit drumming. Do you need though, like pop
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: punk type music? It's right in my wheelhouse that type
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: of ship. Yeah. Yeah, it's a big festival.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 7: Yeah it is. I grew up playing like hardcore music
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 7: and ship, so we're like that probably hold it down.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you definitely could. Like this is fucking compared to
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: some hardcore shit. This is definitely fucking easy. Yeah, we're
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: the tiniest name on the on the day of the festival.
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: But the biggest one is John Mayer on that day.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: But the tiniest one is us play like eleven thirty
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: am ye on like the beach. Yeah, there's going to
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: be like kids like getting like sunscreen applied to their faces.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 7: We try and shred you're tuning up. Yeah, it's gonna
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 7: be funny complain about that kind of stuff now, because
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 7: you're like when you're a kid, You're like I was
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 7: ever on this flyer and I got to play on
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 7: the beach. I would have made it in the incredible
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 7: You're like, we're the littlest name name bitch.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: And looking to give horse in the mouth when we like,
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: definitely don't even deserve to be on this this festival.
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 7: Don't say that.
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's a fact, and I've come to
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: grips with it. But it's just funny to be like,
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: tiny ass fucking name this is bullshit.
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 7: I was really happy when I heard that it was
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 7: sublime with Rome.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: I was like this rules.
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 7: Yeah, It's like that's a big one.
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: Bro for yes, the freedom bro joke hasn't been made yet.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 7: I think, sir, what are you? What are you producing
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 7: over there?
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: I don't Sublime with Ron that's fucking incredible, Thank you.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 5: Sublime with Rome is awesome. You ever see them?
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 1: I think that's what he's joking about. No, I know,
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: I know he's joking about that. But the original I.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 7: Saw Sublime, Yeah, I saw the real Sublime. Yeah damn yeah,
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 7: I was a child man.
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 5: It was like, must have been really young.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 7: They played it like Fiddler's Green. I think I was
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 7: like nine years old.
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 5: Damn. That's crazy.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my dad was hip man.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah he sound they weren't big at all then, right.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 7: They had some pretty big breakthrough success right around when
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 7: I was in sixth or seventh grade, like that, that
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 7: fucking forty Ounce to Freedom album was on the radio
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 7: all the time.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: That was my name, bro.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, like what I got was everywhere. Yeah, they
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 7: were like set to. They were with like Gwen Stefani
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 7: and Ship for a while. Yeah.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 7: It's so funny that now they're like a meme. They're
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 7: like a punchline.
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 1: But it's like they're hard as hell. It's like my
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: older brothers who drank my my friend's older brothers who
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: drank forties would listen to like a ton of Sublime.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: That's how I learned about it through them.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 7: I spoke the worst weed.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the most disgusting weed at like a field at
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: like three in the afternoon while dudes played frisbee and
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: ship like that. I don't cry when my dog runs away.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: I fucking loving life.
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 7: He's just waiting for his Rooka get here.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: Fuck.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, bro, have you guys seen that video of of
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 5: the fucking if.
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 7: This is another guy fucking an alligator, he'll be.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 5: Very've seen Pineapple Express, right, you know, in the beginning
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 5: when Bill haters doing the weed testing. Yeah, have you
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 5: seen like the actual video that that's based on.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 7: I don't think.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 5: I just I just saw this the other day. It's
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 5: fucking hysterical. They like inject a dude with like straight THHC.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 5: And he's like in like a lab and they're just
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 5: asking a bunch of questions and they're like they're like frustration.
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 5: He just keeps going not at all. Every answer is
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 5: just not at So he wasn't no, he didn't spas
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 5: at all. Wow, And then they were like sleepy and
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 5: he just goes a little dude. It's so and they're like,
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 5: we can't let the pet their heads exact.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: He's a little sleepy shut down, shut this ship down.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 7: To me, it's like exactly he's saying, he's feeling Irina.
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: Anyone anywhere near this ship. That's hilarious. Bro, I just
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: noticed that you have two different socks on. Bro.
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 7: I hate to call you out.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 4: Bro.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: The ribbing, the ribbing is a little bit differently on
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 1: both of your socks. You see how the one is
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: a little bit thicker ribbed and then the other one
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: a little bit more fine ribbing.
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 5: Well, what can you do? If yeah, took them off,
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 5: you'd be able to see that they look exactly the same.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 1: But we did some fine rubbing today, dude. I think
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: that we did it an incredible job. I appreciate you
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 1: being here.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 7: Praise, thank you so much. Yeah, having never met either
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 7: of you, you made me feel very welcome. Likewise, hands
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 7: producers need that pat down check you as soon as
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 7: you came in.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: Fucking credit card swiped between your balls. What that's new.
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 7: I'm just glad that you could see them and feel them.
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 7: Usually they spend a lot of time subterranean love it.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: So what's the name of your book?
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 7: Is called Running the Light. It's available at sam talent
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 7: dot com. You can follow me on Instagram at Sam
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 7: Talent t A L L e N T. And I
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 7: just had a Don't Tell comedy fifteen minutes set come out.
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I watch it.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: That was hysteric.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 7: Thanks man. You can watch that on their YouTube and
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 7: listen to my podcast Chubby Behemo.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: And you could buy tickets for any of his shows
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: on the website.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 7: When does this come out?
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 5: Tomorrow? Wednesday?
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 7: Wednesday? Yeah? Hey, did you ever make this mistake where
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 7: you add the second show after the first one sells out?
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 5: Immediately no one comes to the second one?
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 7: Yeah, so Union Hall, the first one moved quick, Still
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 7: tickets available for that second Thursday, March thirtieth, Union Hall
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 7: in New York.
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 5: I also love saying there's still tickets available, and I'm like,
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 5: all the tickets are.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 7: Still available, Yeah, like you're doing a face.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: Three tickets have been sold, right, Yeah.
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 7: So funny when you see someone post they're moving quick,
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 7: Yeah you mean no one, You're not even posting they're moving.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 1: You're not posting anything, right, Yeah.
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 7: So yeah, just thank you for having me.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you of course.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 7: Yeah,